PODCAST · science
The Adoption Files
by Ande Stanley
The Adoption files seeks to provide a place for adoptees and allies to discuss the laws preventing adoptees from accessing their identities, and the emotional and physical challenges adoptees face in the process of dealing with the obstacles we face. We recognize the need to expose the problematic aspects of the adoption industry and the narrative they perpetuate. We will not only talk about the laws and the challenges they create, but also the ways that the mythology around adoption impacts the way we move through our lives, as adopted people and as mothers and other family members.
Episodes
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Seeing or Solving: Adoption and Spiritual Trauma
Please join me and guest host Dani Joy as we continue our conversation on adoption and spiritual healing. We are using the book Holy Hurt: Spiritual Trauma and the Process of Healing, by Hillary L McBride, PhD as a framework for our series. Dani is a homesteader, writer, mother of loss to…
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Being Held, or How Attending CUB 2026 Profoundly Impacted Me
I did a scary thing. Now I am doing another scary thing and sharing some impressions from attending the annual retreat for Concerned United Birthparents without relistening or editing or anything! Because, why not? https://concernedunitedbirthparents.org/ https://savingoursistersadoption.org/...
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Adoption Abolition: A Conversation
What does Adoption Abolition mean? Please join me and my guest Lorah Gerald as we talk about some of our thoughts on this topic. Lorah is a Baby Scoop Era, Domestic US adopted person. She can be found athttps://lorahgerald.com/ There are some statistics quoted in the episode that may be difficult...
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Quality Counts: Early Connections and Big Questions; continuing the conversation on adoption and spiritual trauma
Please join Dani and I as we continue our conversation about adoption and spiritual trauma. We are using the book Holy Hurt: Spiritual Trauma and the Process of Healing by Hillary L McBride PhD as a scaffold for our conversation. Dani is a mother of loss to adoption, a writer, a homesteader and…
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Holding Space: Healing in Relationship
Please join Dani Joy and I as we keep working on exploring the spiritual trauma that is adoption! We are using the book Holy Hurt by Hillary L McBride, PhD as a scaffold for our conversation Dani Joy is a mother of loss to adoption, a homesteader, a writer and an ally. She can be found at:...
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Turning Towards the Pain: a Continuing Conversation on Spiritual Trauma and Adoption
Please join us as we continue our conversation about spiritual trauma and adoption from our perspectives as an adoptee and as a mother who terminated her parental rights for the purposes of adoption. We are using the book Holy Hurt: Understanding Spiritual Trauma and the Process of Healing as a...
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Healing, Recovery, Remaking: Which makes sense for you?
Please join me and my guest Dani Joy as we continue our conversation on spiritual trauma and adoption, from the perspectives of an adopted person and a mother of loss to adoption. We are using the book Holy Hurt by Hillary L McBride PhD as a guide for our discussion. https://medium.com/@danijoy...
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Gods will or?
Please join Dani Joy and me, Ande, as we continue to discuss spiritual trauma and adoption, with the book Holy Hurt by Hilary McBride PhD as a scaffold. The foundation has been established, and now we are beginning the section of the book that discusses actively processing our trauma. We are...
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I am terrible at titles. Continuing the conversation about spiritual trauma as people impacted by adoption
Yes, I am terrible at titles, and hate to mislead. Just laying that out there. Dani Joy, mother of loss to adoption and me, late discovery adopted person (as well as an intercountry adoptee from foster care in the UK to the US) continue to talk about deconstructing from the adoption narrative and...
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Feel the Feelings: continuing our conversation on spiritual trauma
Hi! Please join me and my guest host Dani Joy as we continue with the next section of our conversation on spiritual trauma from our perspectives as a mother of loss to adoption and as a late discovery adopted person, raised in white, Christian contexts. Dani Joy is a mom and a homesteader. She…
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How to use Spirituality as a Defense against Discomfort: Spiritual Bypassing
Please join us as we continue our conversation around spiritual trauma and adoption as we work our way through the book Holy Hurt: Understanding Spiritual Trauma and the Process of Healing by Hillary L McBride PhD . Todays' episode explores the concept of spiritual bypassing as a coping mechanism...
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Your Feelings Matter: the Core Emotions and Spiritual Trauma
Please join Dani Joy and I as we delve into the core emotions and how we are born with these crucial forms of communication. We continue to explore how adoption and spiritual trauma intersect, using the book Holly Hurt as a framework for our discussion. Dani Joy can be found at:...
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Victim, Villain, Valiant Hero: The Drama Triangle and Spiritual Trauma
Please join Dani Joy and I as we continue our conversation about spiritual trauma and adoption. We are using the book Holy Hurt: Understanding Spiritual Trauma and the Process of Healing by Hillary L McBride, PhD as a scaffold for our conversation. We just started Chapter 5! How do the roles of...
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Let's: See What Develops: The Essentials. Continuing the conversation on spiritual trauma
Please join Dani Joy and me as we continue to discuss spiritual trauma and adoption. I am a Late Discovery, Intercountry adopted person. Dani is a mother of loss to adoption. Dani can be found at https://medium.com/@danijoy https://hillarylmcbride.com/holy-hurt-book/...
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Returning to the Familiar: When we keep going back to things that hurt
Please join Dani Joy and I as we continue to explore spiritual trauma using the book Holy Hurt by Hillary L McBride Phd as a scaffold for our discussion. How might these spiritual wounds relate to Dani's experience as a mother of loss to adoption? How has my being an adopted person been shaped by...
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What we need from the beginning: Continuing the conversation on spiritual trauma
Please join Dani Joy and I as we discuss the section What we need from the beginning, from the book Holy Hurt by Hilary L McBride, PhD. Dani is a mother of loss to adoption, as well as a homesteader, advocate and writer. Dani can be found at: https://medium.com/@danijoy...
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Alert: California SB 381. California adopted people need your support
California Alliance For Adoptee Rights and Senator Wahab have a bill being heard in the Health Committee this Tuesday, 23 June 2026. They need you to call the members of the Health Committee to ask that they vote yes on the bill as it is written, without amendments. Please follow the link to find…
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The Culture we Swim in, Pt 2. Spiritual Trauma is NOT fun!
Please join me and Dani Joy as we continue our conversation about the intersection of spiritual trauma and adoption. We are talking trauma, just nonstop, processing! It's so fun. Come have fun with us! We are using the book Holy Hurt; Understanding Spiritual Trauma and the Process of Healing as a...
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The Culture we swim in: continuing the conversation on spiritual trauma and adoption
Please join me and Dani Joy as we continue to address spiritual trauma from our lived experience as a mother of loss to adoption and as a late discovery adopted person. Dani can be found at: https://medium.com/@danijoy https://hillarylmcbride.com/holy-hurt-book/...
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The Adoption Paradox: a Conversation with Author Jean Kelly Widner
Please join me for my conversation with Jean Kelly Widner, a domestically adopted person who is the author of The Adoption Paradox: Putting Adoption in Perspective. Jean is a Baby Scoop Era adopted person from Washington who has found herself as an Accidental Tourist in the paradox that is living...
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Fundamentally Bad: a Survivor's Universal Experience of Spiritual Trauma
Please join Dani Joy and I as we continue our conversation about spiritual trauma using the book Holy Hurt by Hilary L McBride PhD as a guide as we explore how this has impacted us as a mother of loss to adoption and as an adopted person. Both Dani and I come from a Christian religious tradition,...
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This Feels Familiar: How leaving the system that harmed you can be hard to do. Plus more fun stuff about spiritual trauma!
Please join me and mom Dani Joy as we wrap up chapter 3 in our discussion of spiritual trauma using the book Holy Hurt by Hilary L McBride PhD as a guide. In this episode we talk about how leaving can end up being more of the same, and why that happens. We also talk about characteristics of...
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System Erasure; Ecological Systems Theory and adoption. More on Spiritual Trauma and Adoption
Please join Dani Joy and me as we continue our conversation on spiritual trauma using the book Holy Hurt: understandin spiritual trauma and the process of healing by Hillary McBride, PhD Dani can be found at https://medium.com/@danijoy Holy Hurt: https://hillarylmcbride.com/holy-hurt-book/...
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Happy Mother's Day?
Hi! This is me, stream-of-thought-ing my way through a monologue on one of my least favorite days of the year. Enjoy! The host is not a therapist, a lawyer or an adoption professional. The opinions of the host are just that, their opinions. Thank you for listening.
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Feeling naked: continuing the conversation about spiritual trauma
Please join me as Dani and I talk about the journey so far, in our conversation about spiritual trauma and how we got here. Dani can be found at: https://medium.com/@danijoy If you are in crisis and need to talk, please reach out to one (or more) of the helplines listed in the link. You matter....
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Codependency, yuck.
Please join Dani and I as we continue our conversation using the book Holy Hurt: Understanding Spiritual Trauma and the Process of Healing by Hillary L McBride as a guide to exploring how spiritual trauma and adoption intersect in our lives as a mother of loss and as an adopted person. Dani can…
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The Same , Even if it Seems Different: a conversation with a stepparent adoptee about access to original birth certificates
Please join me for a conversation with Toronto Canada stepparent adopted person Craig Wallace. https://www.ontario.ca/page/search-adoption-records People who are adopted, even by stepparents, are legally barred from accessing a certified copy of their original birth certificate. Some places allow...
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Consequences and Compliance : continuing our exploration of how spiritual trauma exists in our lives as a first mom and an adopted person
Please join me and Dani Joy as we explore the next two Cs of spiritual trauma: Consequences and Compliance. We continue to explore how spiritual trauma plays out in our lives as a mother of loss to adoption and as an adopted person. We are reading the book Holy Hurt: Understanding Spiritual…
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To Be Real: a conversation with Elizabeth Barbour, New York Adoptee.
Please join me as I talk with New York adoptee, Elizabeth Barbour Elizabeth Barbour (she/her) is an adoptee and adoptive mom with 27 years of reunion experience. In 1999, she found her birthmom, birthdad and eleven (!) brothers and sisters. An adoption reunion coach, speaker and author of two...
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Catching up with Paige Strickland, pt 2
Please join me for part 2 of my conversation with Ohio adoptee and author Paige L Adams Strickland Paige can be found places online, including: @paigestricklanddom https://paigestrickland.substack.com/ https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/7263308.Paige_L_Adams_Strickland...
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Catching up with Paige Strickland: Pt 1 of a conversation about obtaining an Ohio adoption file
Please join me as I talk with Paige L Adams Strickland, Ohio adoptee and author Paige has been a guest on the podcast in the past. This two episode talks a bit more about just what is included when an Ohio adopted person requests their adoption file. Paige can be found at numerous places online,...
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Coping Strategies; Finding Ways to Live with Loss Pt 2 of my conversation with mom Cindy Shultz
Please join me as I continue my conversation with mother of loss to adoption Cindy Shultz. We talk about how the loss of a child can lead to substance use, and how the love of a child can lead to sobriety. Cindy Shultz is a mother of church-coerced child loss who transforms lived experience into...
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Control: figuring out how spiritual forms of control have played out
Please join Dani and I as we continue to grapple with how spiritual and religious trauma have impacted our lives both through the lens of adoption and in our lives in general. Our conversation is being guided by the book Holy Hurt: Understanding Spiritual Trauma and the Process of Healing...
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All Tied Up: Spiritual and Religious Trauma
Join Dani Joy and I as we talk about what we have learned so far as we finish Chaper 2 of Holy Hurt: Understanding Spiritual Trauma and the Process of Healing by Hillary L McBride PhD Dani Joy can be found at: https://medium.com/@danijoy https://hillarylmcbride.com/holy-hurt-book/...
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Tiny, Little Happy Bows: How Trauma Lives in the Body. Continuing the conversation on Spiritual Trauma and Adoption
Please join Dani Joy and I as we continue to talk about spiritual trauma and adoption, using the book Holy Hurt: Understadning Spiritual Trauma and the Process of Healing by Hillary L McBride, PhD Dani Joy can be found at: https://medium.com/@danijoy https://hillarylmcbride.com/holy-hurt-book/...
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Beyond the Band-Aid: going Deeper into the Examination of Spiritual Trauma and Adoption
Please join Dani Joy and I as we continue our conversation about spiritual trauma and adoption, using the book Holy Hurt: Spiritual Trauma and the Process of Healing, by Hillary L McBride, PhD. We have reached page 28, and are talking about McBrides' lists of the physical, social, relational and...
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Finding Our Way: Continuing the Conversation Concerning Spiritual Trauma and Adoption
Please join Dani and I as we continue to explore the intersection of adoption and spiritual trauma. We continue to use the book Holy Hurt: Understanding Spiritual Trauma and the Process of Healing by Hillary L McBride, PhD as a framework for our conversation. Today we cover material from pages...
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Adriana Calin is still fighting to be recognized as a person: A Romanian Adoptee/ Human Trade Victim
Please join me and Adriana Rockefeller as we talk about what has happened in her fight to be recognized as a person since we spoke early last year in a two part interview here on the podcast. Adriana is still fighting to be recognized by Romania and Canada as a legal person. You can be a part of...
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The Mom Myth: thoughts on my conversation with Cindy Shultz
Just a short episode sharing some of what came up for me after talking with mom Cindy Shultz. Reconciling the reality of how the adoption industry uses coercion to separate families with the stereotypes and the myth of Rescue that is presented to adopted people is an ongoing struggle for me. As…
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Open Adoption is Not the Answer: a conversation with Cindy Shultz
Please join me as I talk with mom Cindy Shultz about her experience with open adoption. Cindy Shultz is a mother of church-coerced child loss who transforms lived experience into advocacy. Raised in the shadow of poverty and stigma, Cindy was a mother in crisis when Catholic Charities pressured…
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Fragmentation: continuing the conversation . Holy Hurt and Spiritual Trauma, episode 2
Please join mom, adoptee advocate, writer and homesteader Dani Joy and me as we continue to explore the intersection of spiritual trauma and adoption through our conversation with the book Holy Hurt, Understanding Spiritual Trauma and the Process of Healing by Hillary L McBride PhD....
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Be a Partner in Something Powerful: a conversation with Sullivan Summer, Lora Alegria and Lilly Anspach, the Board of Adoptees for Family Preservation
Please join me as I speak with the board of Adoptees for Family Preservation. AdopteesFFP.org was formed with the goal of supporting advocacy and education about the way that the adoption industry functions today and to promote family preservation rather than family dissolution. The board members...
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At the Intersection of adoption and spiritual trauma; Holy Hurt: Understanding Spiritual Trauma and the Process of Healing by Hillary L McBride PhD,
First mom Dani Joy joins me as we discuss spiritual trauma through the lens of adoption. We are reading and discussing the book Holy Hurt, by Hillary L McBride PhD. We hope the listeners will join us in this journey to understand and to navigate adoption related spiritual and religious trauma....
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Spiritual Trauma and Adoption, an unholy union. Reviewing Holy Hurt by Hillary L McBride PhD from the lens of an adoptee and a first mom's experiences
Dani Joy, first mom, birthmothers rights advocate, adoptee ally. amazing friend joins me in reviewing the book Holy Hurt Understanding Spiritual Trauma and the Process of Healing by Hillary L Mc Bride PhD. https://hillarylmcbride.com/holy-hurt-book/ We are reviewing the book from the perspectives...
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Did they or didn't they? The Conclusion to my trip to Georgia to maybe meet maternal family
This episode is the conclusion to my trip to Georgia, hoping to meet maternal family, and walk in circles for a lot of hours just in case no one showed up.
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Movement
Day two here. My day to stretch out after traveling. One of my free time days that I hoped to meet family. I deliberately included a week day and a weekend day, because, timing? Have you ever thought about the way you move? How some, any of your gestures may mirror those of a family member? How...
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A Very Messy conversation with myself
This is a messy episode. I recorded this at the end of a very long day where i woke up at 2 am, drove an hour to an airport and then wore an itchy mask for ten hours to get to a place I am not sure I want to be in order to do one thing I want to do and feel conflicted about another thing I am not...
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California has a bill! Ca SB 381 needs your support.
Listen to learn about Californias new bill designed to restore unrestricted access to original birth certificates for people adopted in California. You can be a part of making history and restoring equality! The bill: CA SB 381 2026 (this number was assigned to a housing bill for last legislative...
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Good Intentions A conversation on adoption with Lorah Gerald
The road to hell is paved in good intentions. What might this have to do with adoption? Listen to this conversation with embodiment instructor and adoptee rights advocate Lorah Gerald, also known as The Adopted Chameleon on social media. Information about Lorah and links to her social media can…
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Every Voice: A conversation with North Dakota Adoptee Mary Kae Kelsch
Mary Kae Kelsch was adopted in 1970 in North Dakota, but was she born there? Where is her birth certificate located? Please join as we talk about the laws in North Dakota and Minnesota, about reunion, and about the importance of every voice. Mentioned in the episode:...
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ABOUT THIS SHOW
The Adoption files seeks to provide a place for adoptees and allies to discuss the laws preventing adoptees from accessing their identities, and the emotional and physical challenges adoptees face in the process of dealing with the obstacles we face. We recognize the need to expose the problematic aspects of the adoption industry and the narrative they perpetuate. We will not only talk about the laws and the challenges they create, but also the ways that the mythology around adoption impacts the way we move through our lives, as adopted people and as mothers and other family members.
HOSTED BY
Ande Stanley
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Frequently Asked Questions
How many episodes does The Adoption Files have?
The Adoption Files currently has 173 episodes available on PodParley. New episodes are automatically indexed when they're published to the podcast feed.
What is The Adoption Files about?
The Adoption files seeks to provide a place for adoptees and allies to discuss the laws preventing adoptees from accessing their identities, and the emotional and physical challenges adoptees face in the process of dealing with the obstacles we face. We recognize the need to expose the problematic...
How often does The Adoption Files release new episodes?
The Adoption Files publishes regularly with 173 episodes available. Check the episode list for the typical release schedule.
Where can I listen to The Adoption Files?
You can listen to The Adoption Files on PodParley by clicking any episode. We provide an embedded audio player for direct listening, and you can also subscribe via your preferred podcast app using the RSS feed.
Who hosts The Adoption Files?
The Adoption Files is created and hosted by Ande Stanley.
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