The Arka Talks Podcast

Some stories take years before they can be spoken. In this episode of Arka Talks, Matt Cooke sits down with Todd Johnston for a deeply honest conversation about trauma, sexuality, leaving religion, sexual abuse, courage, healing, and the decision to choose life after years of carrying pain alone. Todd shares what it was like to grow up in a small town in British Columbia, leave the Jehovah’s Witness church and lose connection with much of his family, and later come out as a gay man after years of confusion, fear, and self-protection. He also speaks openly about being sexually abused and raped by an employer when he was 16, how that experience shut down parts of his body and identity, and what it took (years later) to report the abuse, go through a police investigation, and face the legal process. This is a heavy conversation, not only about trauma, but also about healing. Listener discretion is advised. Todd talks about therapy, EMDR, sex therapy, men’s group, friendship, DJing, volunteering, and the hard decision he made after a nervous breakdown where he contemplated suicide: “I’m choosing to live. So if I’m gonna live, let’s live!” Through his story, Todd shows what courage can look like when a man decides to stop disappearing inward, speak the truth, let himself be seen, and build a life that belongs to him. In this episode: Todd’s first terrifying night walking into a men’s group Growing up as a Jehovah’s Witness and leaving the church Coming out as gay and the fear of losing people Sexual abuse, rape, confusion, and how trauma can shut down the body Reporting his abuser nearly 20 years later Taking the legal process one step at a time How men’s group helped Todd feel less alone in shame and suffering Choosing life after suicidal thoughts and a nervous breakdown DJ YDEL, “You Deserve Epic Love,” and reclaiming joy Chosen family, friendship, service, and volunteering in Vancouver Why showing up, being seen, and staying open can change a man’s life This episode is for anyone who has carried shame in silence, anyone who has wondered if they were damaged goods, and anyone who needs to hear that healing from abuse and trauma is possible. You are not alone. Your story matters. And your life still belongs to you. Real men. Real stories. The path of the conscious warrior. Links Join an ARKA group: https://arkabrotherhood.com/join/ Follow @ArkaBrotherhood on Instagram: http://instagram.com/arkabrotherhood Canada National Suicide Crisis Helpline: Support is available 24/7 by calling or texting 9-8-8. United States: Call or text 988 — Suicide & Crisis Lifeline, available 24/7. Website: 988lifeline.org

A man can walk into a men’s group and think he has joined. But according to longtime ARKA captain Brady Kirk, that is only the first joining. The second joining happens later, when something hidden gets seen. When a man is exposed in front of other men. When the old instinct to defend, leave, attack, or disappear rises up. That is the moment the real work begins. In this episode of Arka Talks, Ben Goresky sits down with Brady Kirk, one of ARKA’s longtime leaders and original members, for a conversation about brotherhood, trust, leadership, archetypes, faith, fatherhood, and the deeper work of becoming more fully yourself. Brady shares what first brought him into men’s work, how the early Samurai Brotherhood circles shaped him, and why real brotherhood is not just friendship. It is a place where men tell the truth, give clean feedback, challenge each other, and learn to stay when their armor starts to crack. The conversation moves through the lone wolf pattern, asking for help, receiving feedback from other men, the King/Warrior/Magician/Lover archetypes, Christian faith, leadership without control, parenting, and the long process of taking off the armor a man once needed to survive. In this episode: Why Brady says every man has to join men’s group twice The difference between casual friendship and earned masculine trust The lone wolf pattern, and why refusing help can block real connection What happens when a man is exposed in circle and wants to run Why honest feedback from men can change a man’s life How Brady uses archetypes and the ARKA code inside his squads Faith, surrender, and learning to lead without controlling outcomes Fatherhood, keeping your word, and teaching emotional regulation to a son Why men’s work helps a man take off the armor and become more himself This is a conversation for men who want more than surface-level connection. It is for men who are ready to be seen, challenged, and called forward by other men walking the same path. If this speaks to you, listen to the full episode and share it with a man who is ready for the second joining. Real men. Real stories. The path of the conscious warrior. Links Join an ARKA group: www.arkabrotherhood.com Follow @ArkaBrotherhood on Instagram: http://instagram.com/arkabrotherhood Connect with Brady Kirk / Brotherhood Foundry: Website: brotherhoodfoundry.com Email: [email protected] YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@BradyKirk-BHF

There are wounds a man can carry for decades without knowing how deeply they are shaping his life. In this episode of Arka Talks, Ben Goresky sits down with longtime ARKA leader Joel Crneck for an honest conversation about childhood, father wounds, suicidal ideation, brotherhood, forgiveness, leadership, and becoming a father. Joel speaks openly about growing up with intense energy, conflict with masculine authority, and the belief that men did not care about him. He shares how that story followed him into adulthood: into burnout, depression, suicidal darkness, and the ways he tested men to see whether they would stay. Joel takes us into his darkness, but he also takes us into his healing story. A story of how brotherhood can not only save a man’s life, but help him heal the wound that brought him to his absolute edge. Through years in circle, Joel began to see his old story more clearly. He learned to soften without losing his fire. He found forgiveness for his stepfather. He became a captain, a leader, and now a father carrying a new kind of responsibility. This conversation moves through some heavy territory, but it keeps returning to the same question: "What does a man do with the wound once he can finally see it?" In this episode: Joel’s childhood, his relationship with his mother, brother, stepfather, and early father wound Growing up with intense energy, ADHD medication, conflict, wrestling, and survival mode The belief that “men don’t care about me” — and how it shaped Joel’s life Suicidal ideation, burnout, and the night that interrupted Joel’s path toward death The raccoon story, brotherhood, and the strange ways life can call a man back How Tiger Squad gave Joel a place where men kept showing up Forgiving his stepfather and learning to lead without projecting the old wound Fire, intensity, leadership, compassion, and the discipline of the ARKA code Fatherhood, breaking family patterns, and becoming more grounded through responsibility This is a conversation for men who have carried their pain alone, men who have wondered whether they belong, and men who have contemplated or attempted suicide.  If this episode speaks to you, share it with a man who needs to hear it. Real men. Real stories. The path of the conscious warrior. Links Learn more about ARKA Brotherhood: www.arkabrotherhood.com Follow ARKA Brotherhood on Instagram: @arkabrotherhood - https://www.instagram.com/arkabrotherhood Work with Joel as your transformation coach: Integrityworksconsulting.ca Special Note - For Crisis Support This episode includes open discussion of suicidal ideation. If you are in immediate danger or feel like you may harm yourself, call emergency services now. Canada: Call or text 988 — Suicide Crisis Helpline, available 24/7. Website: 988.ca Government of Canada also directs people in crisis or thinking about suicide to call or text 988. United States: Call or text 988 — Suicide & Crisis Lifeline, available 24/7. Website: 988lifeline.org The 988 Lifeline offers call, text, and chat support for suicidal crisis, emotional distress, mental health struggle, and substance-use-related crisis. Canada youth / text support: Text CONNECT to 686868 — Kids Help Phone / Crisis Text Line Canada, free and confidential 24/7 support in English and French. United States text support: Text HOME to 741741 — Crisis Text Line, free, confidential 24/7 support. United States veterans: Dial 988, then press 1, or text 838255 — Veterans Crisis Line, 24/7 confidential support for veterans and their loved ones. United States mental health / substance use referrals: Call 1-800-662-HELP (4357) — SAMHSA National Helpline, 24/7 treatment referral and information for mental health and substance use concerns. International: Find local crisis lines and emotional support resources at findahelpline.com. Find A Helpline lists verified helplines in more than 175 countries. You do not have to carry it alone. Reach out now.

Geoff MacKenzie is a yoga teacher, men’s work leader, father, and longtime member of the ARKA Brotherhood. In this episode of Arka Talks, host Matt Cooke sits down with Geoff for a grounded conversation about yoga, freedom, adventure, fatherhood, brotherhood, and the moment a man’s life begins to shift from self-direction into deeper responsibility. Geoff shares the early experiences that shaped him: discovering yoga on a forest floor in France, chasing snowboarding in Chamonix, surfing in Bali, studying Ashtanga yoga in India, and building a life around discipline, movement, and freedom. But the deeper arc of this conversation is about what happens when freedom becomes responsibility. Geoff speaks honestly about becoming a father, working long days, missing time with his daughter, supporting his partner, facing old childhood wounds, and learning how quickly a man can be pulled back into old patterns when life becomes intense. Matt and Geoff also explore men’s work, the lone wolf path, money and power, relationship triggers, mother wounds, the importance of breath, and why a disciplined man still needs other men to help him see what he cannot see alone. This is a conversation for men who value freedom, but know that freedom is not the end of the path. Sometimes freedom is the preparation for responsibility. In this episode Matt and Geoff explore: Geoff’s first experience of yoga on a forest floor in France Snowboarding, surfing, Bali, Chamonix, and a life built around freedom Ashtanga yoga, discipline, and early morning practice Yoga as nervous system regulation The tension between spiritual practice, ego, money, and power The lone wolf path and why disciplined men still need brotherhood Geoff’s first experience in a men’s group Fatherhood as a new initiation Relationship triggers, criticism, and childhood conditioning Mother wounds and the feeling of being “in trouble” as a grown man The birth of Geoff’s daughter and the intensity of self-doubt What men gain from sitting in circle The power of honest feedback and having blind spots exposed Father shares and the impact of father wounds on men Why men’s groups need structure, commitment, and truth-telling Breath as the anchor when life gets hard Letting go of an old identity and learning who you are in a new chapter Links from this episode Learn more about Geoff MacKenzie - https://firstlightyoga.ca/ About ARKA Brotherhood The ARKA Brotherhood is a global community of men committed to growth, truth, accountability, and conscious leadership. Through weekly men’s groups, leadership training, and real brotherhood, ARKA helps men become more honest, grounded, courageous, and trustworthy in their lives. Learn more - arkabrotherhood.com

Bobby Hakkarainen is a therapeutic counsellor, men’s work leader, father, and longtime member and leader in the ARKA Brotherhood. In this episode of Arka Talks, host Matt Cooke sits down with Bobby for a raw and grounded conversation about anger, shame, fatherhood, brotherhood, and the long road from self-destruction to self-respect. Bobby shares his early years working in construction, getting kicked out of school, entering the trades young, and eventually finding himself in the film industry, where he began to see that he was capable of more than the identity he had inherited. But the deeper turning point came later when - after divorce, substance use, anger, and repeating old patterns - Bobby found men’s work. In the circle, he began to face the parts of himself he had been running from: rage, shame, fear, and resentment. This conversation goes into the real work of masculine growth. Alchemising our difficult emotions and experiences into valuable lessons and wisdom. Bobby speaks about anger as fire: Something powerful. Something necessary. Something that can destroy when it is unconscious, but can also become fuel when a man learns to own it. Matt and Bobby also explore father wounds, forgiveness, shadow work, the King’s Chair process, how men challenge each other without shame, and why brotherhood can help a stay standing - and avoid full collapse - when life stressors hit hard. This is a conversation for men who know they have fire, who know they have anger, but are ready to stop being ruled by it. In this episode Matt and Bobby explore: Bobby’s path from construction to counselling Getting kicked out of school and entering the workforce young How film work helped Bobby discover a new sense of pride and possibility Divorce, substance use, anger, and the patterns that did not disappear on their own Why anger is not the enemy What it means for a man to own his anger without being controlled by it Bobby’s first experience in a men’s group Father wounds, forgiveness, and rebuilding relationship with parents The power of being seen by other men without being shamed The King’s Chair process and honest masculine feedback Shadow work, jealousy, projection, and self-acceptance The difference between awareness, ownership, and action Leadership, fatherhood, and learning to lead from the back How men’s work builds self-trust over time Links from this episode: Bobby’s website - bobbyhakkarainen.com/ About ARKA Brotherhood The ARKA Brotherhood is a global community of men committed to growth, truth, accountability, and conscious leadership. Through weekly men’s groups, leadership training, and real brotherhood, ARKA helps men become more honest, grounded, courageous, and trustworthy in their lives. Learn more: arkabrotherhood.com

Ben Goresky sits down with longtime friend and brotherhood leader Steve Parr for a conversation about struggle, mentorship, leadership, and what real brotherhood looks like between men. Steve shares the early years of his life: a childhood marked by boundary-testing, a lack of strong containment, painful lessons around discipline and repair, and a long search for structure, belonging, and masculine guidance. He opens up about depression, anxiety, self-destruction, risky self-initiation in his twenties, and the absence of older men who could help him make sense of his path. Ben and Steve also explore what made Arka different from other men’s work, why strong male leadership matters, how brotherhood helped shape Steve into a leader, and what it means for men to stay in relationship through power struggles, change, and repair.  The back half of the episode becomes a living example of male friendship: challenge, love, reciprocity, trust, and the kind of brotherhood most men rarely get to see. This is a conversation for men looking for mentorship, stronger male relationships, deeper brotherhood, and a clearer path into mature masculinity. In this episode: Steve’s early life and search for masculine structure Depression, self-destruction, and trying to become a man alone The mentors and turning points that helped shape his path Why earlier men’s work helped, but wasn’t enough What made Arka different Leadership, service, and learning to take the seat Friendship, rupture, repair, and brotherhood between men Links from this episode: Join an Arka Brotherhood group: https://arkabrotherhood.com/join/

In this episode of Arka Talks, Arka Co-Director Matt Cooke sits down with Lee Hettig - longtime brotherhood member, and senior leader/trainer - for a grounded conversation about how men get stuck, and what actually helps them move again. Lee shares the turning points that shaped his path through men’s work: opening up about alcohol, money, anxiety, isolation, and the lone wolf mentality that keeps many men trapped behind competence, performance, and secrecy. He speaks candidly about mental health, functional freeze, hyper-independence, masculinity, and the role brotherhood has played in helping him tell the truth, stay connected, and take action when life got dark. Matt and Lee also explore what it means to be a man in today’s world, how men can build earned confidence instead of performative masculinity, and why self-knowledge, shadow work, and reality-checking are essential parts of growth and leadership. This is a conversation for men who feel stuck, isolated, or split inside themselves - and for anyone who wants a more honest look at men’s work, brotherhood, and the path of real change. In this episode: The breakthrough that came from telling the truth about alcohol Money shame, secrecy, and bringing hidden struggles into the light The lone wolf mentality and why isolation keeps men stuck Anxiety, depression, hypervigilance, and functional freeze Practical ways men begin getting unstuck Masculinity, discipline, proof, and becoming a producer of value Know thyself, shadow work, and leadership through self-awareness Join an Arka Brotherhood group: https://arkabrotherhood.com/join/

Matt Cooke sits down with longtime Arka leader and relationship teacher Nick Solaczek to talk about the path many men take into brotherhood. For Nick, it started in a difficult period of life: no money, no clear direction, and a sense that something needed to change. An invitation into a men’s group became a turning point. The conversation explores what men’s work actually gives men: confidence, groundedness, honest feedback, and the ability to stand shoulder-to-shoulder with other men without competition or posturing. Matt and Nick also dig into the deeper challenges men face in relationships - the tendency to withdraw, the “lone wolf” mindset many men carry, and how learning to take responsibility for our inner world changes how we show up with partners, friends, and the world. This is a conversation about masculinity, brotherhood, and the long road of becoming a man who knows himself. If you’ve ever wondered what men’s groups are really about, this episode opens the door. In this episode Why men step into men’s groups (and why most won’t) The standards and agreements that separate real brotherhood from hand-holding What changes when a man gets honest with himself - not just his story The challenge younger men face in a distracted, numb world Why relationships don’t work without responsibility (and where most men get it wrong) What happens when we’re forced to face the gap between who we are and who we claim to be Concrete advice for men looking for partnership and struggling to find it Key takeaways Most men wait for pain before seeking brotherhood - invitation matters more than pride. Consistent practice and real standards separate meaningful men’s work from empty talk. Comfort in your own body and owning your story is earned, not given. Avoidance, shutting down, and the lone wolf mindset will strangle your connection. Taking responsibility means turning toward discomfort, not away from it. Real change starts with the question: “What am I co-creating in this moment?” Relationships amplify your shadow - but can also build your backbone. No amount of logic covers the need for emotional honesty with your partner. If you want better relationships, learn to make - and keep - clear agreements.   About Nick Solaczek Nick Solaczek is a Certified IMAGO Relationship Teacher and host of the Highly Successful Couples Podcast. He works with couples who are committed to each other but feel stuck in painful, repetitive patterns. He helps partners move beyond surface-level communication tips and look at the deeper emotional dynamics driving their conflict, including childhood imprinting, unmet needs, and nervous system responses.  Trained in evidence-based couples therapy approaches, Nick focuses on helping couples experience real change, not just talk about it. His work centers on building emotional safety, honesty, clarity, and lasting intimacy so couples can stop merely surviving their relationship and start truly thriving together. Links: Nick Solcaczek on Instagram  Highly Successful Couples Join an Arka Brotherhood group   Arka Brotherhood Arka is an international brotherhood dedicated to helping men develop leadership, integrity, and self-mastery through weekly circles and training. Real men. Real stories. The path of the conscious warrior.

Phil T. Mistlberger is a transpersonal therapist who founded The Arka Brotherhood. He is the author of 7 books, founder and facilitator of Conscious Relationship Trainings, and an avid painter.  In this episode, Ben Goresky sits down with Phil, covering Phil’s early life, the roots of his transformational path through martial arts and inner work, and the turning points that lead him to begin his journey with men’s work. Phil breaks down men’s competitive and egotistical instincts, and how to combat those with intentional brotherhood and inner work. They also break down key Arka elements like the 14 Point Code, the “Samurai Stare”, and the meaning of  “I’ve got your back”. In this episode Phil’s early upbringing, family dynamics, and how communication and looking inward became a lifelong thread Martial arts, Zen, and the shift from “outer science” to inner transformation Why men need men and why male connection often gets distorted by competition and fear The core practice: stay in relationship vs. the ego’s habit of avoiding relationship Community living, the “pressure cooker,” and what it teaches about forgiveness and our own lessons we’re here to learn Why men’s groups aren’t therapy - and why action and accountability matter The Samurai Stare: presence, nervous system regulation, and projection “I’ve got your back”: loyalty, support, and the kind of challenge that calls a man forward Ritual and initiation: why consistency and commitment change men over time Young men and mentorship: what lands for teens, and what doesn’t Key takeaways Brotherhood is a practice of speaking the truth, holding each other up to a code for living, and leaning into relationship You can’t banish the shadow. Integrate it, or it runs your show. “Staying in relationship” (Code 13)  is a discipline that trains maturity and dissolves avoidance. Men’s work isn’t just about “how you feel” - it’s about what you do with your life. Ritual works when it creates presence, seriousness, and belonging beyond the ego. About Phil T. Mistlberger Phil T. Mistlberger is the founder of Arka Brotherhood and a longtime teacher in men’s work, conscious relationship training, and transformational practice. He is the author of multiple books on psychology, spirituality, and human development, and has spent decades studying and teaching across wisdom traditions, inner work modalities, and embodied training. Links from this episode Join an Arka Brotherhood group The Arka Code Phil’s work & books Conscious Relationship Trainings Ben’s work on addiction recovery and conscious relationships Subscribe for honest conversations on men’s work, brotherhood, and leadership. “Real men. Real stories. The path of the conscious warrior.”

Ben Goresky - Arka Brotherhood co-director - shares about the road from addiction and loneliness to co-leading a global brotherhood. It’s a raw conversation about men’s mental health, leadership, and the art of living a life full of chosen responsibilities. In this episode The journey from teen addiction and difficult family dynamics to men’s leadership Why accountability, not advice, changes men How relationships challenge men to grow beyond avoidance The role of brotherhood in facing criticism, father wounds, and emotional pain Stepping up to leadership - deciding to run your own men’s group Handling intense moments: suicide risk, service, and true presence Balancing fatherhood, marriage, business, and mission without fooling yourself Key takeaways Men’s groups are not therapy - they are practice grounds for integrity and power. Brotherhood allows men to face shadow without collapsing into shame or bravado. Mature masculinity means owning every responsibility you willingly take on. Many men run from discomfort; real growth happens by staying and listening. Every meaningful achievement is earned through struggle - not escape. Presence with family and partner is a test few men prepare for intentionally. Vulnerability and dark moments - including suicidal thoughts - require community and brotherhood. Addiction persists until you face reality and accept full ownership. Leadership starts from commitment, not ambition.   Links from this episode Ben’s website - Evolving Man The Freedom From Addiction Circle Follow Ben @Evolvingman on Instagram Apply to join an Arka Brotherhood group Subscribe for honest conversations on men’s work and leadership - or learn more at arkabrotherhood.com.  

He walked into men's work not knowing what he was signing up for, and left with a deeper sense of purpose and a mission to serve. In this episode, we explore brotherhood, leadership, and what changes in a man's life when he takes responsibility for those around him. Today’s guest is Matt Cooke, co-director of The Arka Brotherhood. In this episode The origin story: a festival invitation and the power of first impressions How men’s work revealed hidden patterns, judgments, and real connection Stepping into leadership - uncertainty, imposter syndrome, and how confidence gets earned The role of care in teaching and leading young men What boys are missing in today’s schools - and what men can do about it The real meaning of “I’ve got your back” in brotherhood circles Key takeaways Leadership is not about status - it’s about service and caring. Trusting yourself is the foundation; the reps make it real. Honest feedback and humility are essential for growth. Young men need male role models - presence and care matter more than expertise. Meaningful impact often comes from attention, confidence, and real belief in someone. “I’ve got your back” is a choice to care, not just a slogan. Connection in small groups ignites caring and belonging. Teachers can have a massive impact on the life path of the youth they teach. Leadership styles vary, but integrity and purpose are non-negotiable. Subscribe for more real conversations, and if you’re ready to step inside brotherhood, learn more at arkabrotherhood.com. Real Men. Real Stories. The Path of the Conscious Warrior.

In this episode, we set the foundation for The Arka Talks men’s work podcast. Ben Goresky breaks down the story and principles behind our brotherhood, inviting men from around the world to step into one of our leadership training circles for the first time.  In this episode The origin and purpose of Arka Brotherhood Why authenticity and vulnerability matter among men How squads create discipline, accountability, and support The 14 Point Code of the Conscious Warrior Why Arka is non-religious, apolitical, and member-focused What brotherhood looks like when it’s not a social club The power of men’s inner work: “Know thyself”, train your body, speak the truth Key takeaways Real change requires honesty and facing your own shadow. Men’s lives level up when they’re held to their word - not just by themselves, but by other men. Leadership develops through action, not title or hype. Every man benefits from a personal code. There’s no one right path to meaning - but you must choose yours. Arka is internally focussed. For our members, transformation happens face to face. What happens in the circle shapes how you show up at home, at work, and in the world.   If this episode gets you interested in what’s to come, subscribe and share it with someone who’s ready to grow - or learn more at arkabrotherhood.com.

Welcome to the Arka Talks Podcast from the ARKA Brotherhood — a global community of men committed to growth, truth, and conscious leadership. We're looking forward to sharing conversations with depth and inspiration. Real men. Real stories. The path of the conscious warrior.  Come with us at arkabrotherhood.com