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The Beacons Are Lit: A Lord of the Rings Podcast
by Crossroads Comedy Theater
The Beacons Are Lit is a Lord of the Rings Podcast discussing all things Middle-Earth including the upcoming Amazon Prime series The Rings of Power, the films, and more. What we lack in extensive Tolkien knowledge we make up for in humor and passion. If you enjoy LOTR you will enjoy us enjoying LOTR too. Features Mike Marbach (host), Kelly Conrad, Matt Garren, and Stacie Lyons.
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36
Khazad-damn!: ROP S02E08
In this episode of the Beacons are Lit we're discussing The Rings of Power S02E08. This is the season finale, which means after this episode, much like the Balrog of the Misty Mountains, the Rings of Power disappears for a long period only to come back when Amazon digs too deep. The Dwarves show up to save whoever is left at Eregion, Celebrimbor tells Sauron he's going to the bad place, King Durin goes toe to head to horn with the Balrog, Adar gets a glow up shortly before getting Jon Snowed, Elendil has r-u-n-n-o-f-t as Numenor turns on the faithful, Isildur leaves his babe behind to go back home, Kemmen continues to grow his hater base, Cirdan is nowhere to be seen, and lots more for better or worse. We're on another break, but will return soon with our awards episodes for The Two Towers and Return of the King. Lots more planned... but not scheduled.
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35
User Illusion 3: ROP S02E07
In this episode of the Beacons are Lit we're talking about The Rings of Power Season 2 episode 7. We're deep into the siege of Eregion now. Celebrimbor is living his best imaginary life, Sauron is blaming everything on Celebrimbor, Elrond putting the moves on Galadriel, Gil Galad puts on his Sunday best for battle, Adar's kids are starting to turn on him, the Dwarves got their own problems going on, and Harfoots & the Stranger are nowhere to be seen.
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34
Through the Ringer: ROP S02E04-06
In this episode of the Beacons are Lit we're talking about The Rings of Power Season 2 Episodes 4-6. We're building to the Siege of Eregion, Orcs are getting a little skeptical of Adar, Galadriel does some cool stuff and gets captured anyway, an Ent Wife is found, Elrond and company bust some ghosts, King Durin is spiraling, Celebrimbor doing arts and crafts as his city burns, Probably Gandalf getting in some training, Numenor summons a sea monster, Celebrimbor is losing his mind and Annatar is reaping the benefits, and much more.
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33
Lord of the Bling: ROP S02E01-3
We are back from the shadow to talk about the Rings of Power Season 2. Elrond half heartedly tries to abscond with the rings, Galadriel works to clean up her mess, Halbrand gets a glow up, Isildur has daddy issues, Arondir getting in his steps, Celebrimbor is handing out rings like candy, the Stranger masters English before his destructive powers, Numenor gets a 2nd age January 6th, and the Dwarves go dark while Durin and Durin butt heads.
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32
You Bow To No One: The Return of the King Part 8
The last part of the last movie has finally arrived. It took less time for Frodo and Sam to take the ring to Mount Doom, but we made it. In this episode we talk about Huge giving stage directions to Liv Tyler, the Elves discussing what to do with Bilbo, too many Eagles and not enough Eagles, Aragorn getting cold feet during his big speech, a surviving Wraith coming back for revenge on the anniversary of Weathertop, and so much more.
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31
But It Is Not This Day: The Return of the King Part 7
The Beacons fellowship is back in fairly short order for part 7 of our recap and discussion of Return of the King. In this section we talk about the Uruk eye for fashion, imagine a middle-earth version of The Real World, wonder again about hobbit shoes and orc children, get scared by the Mouth of Sauron, and much, much more. We'll be back after the holidays with Part 8 - our final in the ROTK film coverage before we hit some special episodes.
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30
That Still Only Counts As One!: The Return of the King Part 6
The fellowship returns from another self-imposed hiatus to continue our years long coverage of Return of the King. In this section we talk about Théoden practicing his inspiring but downer speeches, Denathor gettin oiled up, what's going on under those Nazgul robes, Gandalf & Pippin havin' themselves a chat as the world ends around them, how the Army of the Dead knows who to kill, Legolas the Skater boi, Gothmog's unceremonious end, and so much more. We'll be back soon with Part 7. For real.
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29
Grond! Grond! Grond!: The Return of the King Part 5
The fellowship returns to cover part five in our years long coverage of Return of the King. In this section we're in the thick of battle and all hell is breaking loose. Arachnophobia grips Frodo, Gothmog's all do as I say not as I do, the Orcs are moments away from starting the wave, The ghosts get to work, Denathor finna burn Faramir alive, Gandalf gets caught slippin, The Witch King becomes distracted very easily, the Rohirrim and the Bivouacers arrive. We'll be back soon with Part 6.
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28
It Has Been Remade: The Return of the King Part 4
Elrond arrives with refurbed gifts and raised stakes, Aragorn and the Scoobies go g-g-ghost hunting, Gothmog gets embarrassed in front of his boys, Denathor gets walloped. Meanwhile the people of Minas Tirith like we got no Rohan, we got no Aragorn, our soldier's heads are fallin' off!
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27
The Beacons Are Lit: The Return of the King Part 3
We return a mini hiatus to hit part 3 of our coverage of Return of the King. It's our golden episode! The part of the film in which we get our podcast name and boy do we milk the moment. We welcome steward of Kelly's throne, Kirsten LaCerda, to discuss lighting the beacons, sharing the load, bring your hobbit to work day, the many Mogs, and much more.
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26
Show Us the Meaning of Haste: The Return of the King Part 2
After an 8 month hiatus, the Beacons have once again been lit. The fellowship has assembled to continue our coverage of the original trilogy now hitting The Return of The King. In what will likely the first episode of a ten part series we cover Gollum being a morning person, Saruman the Shit Talker, Wormtongue sympathizers, Gimli getting wet, Theoden's Soap Box, Gandalf the White having no chill, and so much more be it related to the movie or not.
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25
A Fool, But An Honest Fool He Remains: The Return of the King Part 1
After an 8 month hiatus, the Beacons have once again been lit. The fellowship has assembled to continue our coverage of the original trilogy now hitting The Return of The King. In what will likely the first episode of a ten part series we cover Gollum being a morning person, Saruman the Shit Talker, Wormtongue sympathizers, Gimli getting wet, Theoden's Soap Box, Gandalf the White having no chill, and so much more be it related to the movie or not.
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24
ROP S01E08: Nenya Business
This episode of the Beacons Are Lit covers season 1 episode 8 of the Rings of Power titled “Alloyed.” The Sauron / Stranger guessing game is mostly at an end and, in the words of Dennis Green, “They are who we thought they were” … for the most part. Earion likes to do drorings, Celebrimbor […]
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23
ROP S01E07: Sometimes Less is Mordor
After some scheduling issues we have returned to cover season 1 episode 7 of the Rings of Power titled “The Eye.” Be sure to listen to this before you watch the finale! It’s the aftermath of Mount Doom exploding and somehow mostly everyone in its path is still alive and found a way to get […]
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22
ROP S01E06: The Old Switcheroo
This episode of The Beacons Are Lit: A Lord of the Rings Podcast covers season 1 episode 6 of the Rings of Power titled “Udûn.” The Numenorians race to a battle they don’t know is happening, Arondir struggles against an big Orc mini-boss, Galadriel competes in the Middle-Earth X games, Halbrand becomes the King of […]
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21
ROP S01E05: Middle-Earth or Burst
This episode of The Beacons Are Lit: A Lord of the Rings Podcast covers season 1 episode 5 of the Rings of Power titled “Partings.” Galadriel her ragtag band of Numenorian skilled workers head for Middle-Earth, Bronwyn gets her village to help her fight Adar and the orcs and immediately loses half of them to […]
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20
ROP S01E04: Who’s Your Orc Daddy
This episode of The Beacons Are Lit: A Lord of the Rings Podcast covers season 1 episode 4 of the Rings of Power titled “The Great Wave.” Galadriel enlists an army of factory workers to take down Sauron, Numenor’s future is gonna get wet, the Dwarves can’t keep their precious gray metal secret or safe, […]
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19
ROP S01E03: Release the Chihuahwarg
In this episode of The Beacons Are Lit: A Lord of the Rings Podcast we discuss Season One Episode 3 titled “Adar.” What’s the deal with the warg look? Who is Adar? Are the Harfoots right or wrong to leave people behind? What’s it take to get into the Builder’s Guild? These questions and more […]
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18
Rings of Power S01E01-2: We Come to It At Last
In this episode of The Beacons Are Lit: A Lord of the Rings Podcast we at long last discuss actual episodes of The Rings of Power. We dive into both Episode 1 (A Shadow of the Past) and Episode 2 (Adrift). Does the show hold up to the price tag of a billion dollars, the […]
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17
The Edge of a Knife: A Rings of Power Preview
In this episode of The Beacons Are Lit: A Lord of the Rings Podcast we take our first, full look at the Rings of Power trailer. We talk about our hopes and fears for the show, play a game of “what’s it about?”, discuss the recent Time article (linked here), and dream of people leaving […]
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16
The Ents Are Going to War: The Two Towers Part 7
In this episode of The Beacons Are Lit: A Lord of the Rings Podcast we continue our journey through the Two Towers with Part 7. This is our last episode of the Two Towers coverage. Yes, we finished one episode earlier than our expected 8 episodes. This part sees Faramir showing his quality when it […]
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15
So It Begins: The Two Towers Part 6
In this episode of The Beacons Are Lit: A Lord of the Rings Podcast we continue our journey through the Two Towers. Merry gets frustrated with all the Ents, Pippin is content to get back home, Aragorn escapes death and arrives at Helm’s Deep, Theoden resents being questioned about literally everything, an old man kicks […]
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14
He’s … Dead: The Two Towers Part 5
In this episode of The Beacons Are Lit: A Lord of the Rings Podcast we continue our journey through the Two Towers. Wormtongue tips Saruman off to the weakness of Helm’s Deep, Faramir daydreams about his brother, we get a taste of Denathor that’s missing from the theatrical cut, Gollum regains control of Smeagol, and […]
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13
Boilem Mashem Stickeminastew: The Two Towers Part 4
In this episode of The Beacons Are Lit: A Lord of the Rings Podcast we continue our journey through the Two Towers. Saruman cooks up some sick burns for Gandalf, Wormtongue takes great interest in Aragorn’s jewelry, Theoden has a mad post-possession hangover, Eowyn’s got her eyes set on the Ranger, and Frodo’s snooping gets […]
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12
Breathe the Free Air Again, My Friend: The Two Towers Part 3
In this episode of The Beacons Are Lit: A Lord of the Rings Podcast we continue our journey through the Two Towers. Gandalf saves King Theoden with some extraness, Grima skedaddles out of Rohan, Frodo and Sam reach the Black Gate where Sam pulls a Took, Merri and Pippin are left in the forest to […]
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11
The White Wizard Will Know: The Two Towers Part 2
In this episode of The Beacons Are Lit: A Lord of the Rings Podcast we continue our journey through the Two Towers. Frodo kerplunks into the dead marshes, Wormtongue is trying to Weekend at Bernie’s King Theoden, Gandalf gets extra extra, Treebeard turns in the “orcs,” Aragorn breaks a toe, and Eomer gets voted off […]
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10
You Will Take Us to the Black Gate: The Two Towers Part 1
In this episode of The Beacons Are Lit: A Lord of the Rings Podcast we begin the second leg of our journey as we dive into the extended edition of the Two Towers. Would Theoden’s signature banishing Eomer hold up in court? Is ethics covered in Orc school? Who is Saruman talking to? These questions […]
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9
The Ringer Awards for the Fellowship of the Ring
In this episode of The Beacons Are Lit: A Lord of the Rings Podcast is our look back at the Fellowship of the Ring via our Ringer Awards! We have a bunch of categories such as Best Fight, Most Valuable Player, Worst Line of Dialogue, Funniest Moment, etc. We recap and discuss the movie through […]
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8
My Brother, My Captain, My King: The Fellowship of the Ring (Part 7)
In this episode of The Beacons Are Lit: A Lord of the Rings Podcast we cover the events from the Argonath through the end when Frodo and Sam set off on their own. Why is Legolas always so cryptic? Why did Lurtz decide that was the time to showboat? Why is the last 15 minutes […]
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7
You Will Find Your Courage: The Fellowship of the Ring (Part 6)
In this episode of The Beacons Are Lit: A Lord of the Rings Podcast we cover the events following the fall of Gandalf through the passing into the realm of Gondor under the Argonath. Did Legolas know what the elves were singing about Gandalf? Was Galadriel just trying to get rid of things before moving? […]
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6
Fly, You Fools!: The Fellowship of the Ring (Part 5)
In this episode of The Beacons Are Lit: A Lord of the Rings Podcast we cover the events following the Council of Elrond up until the Fellowship’s escape from Moria (or most of the Fellowship anyway). We talk about Gimli hyping up Moria for days and then doing nothing to help open the door, the […]
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5
You Cannot Wield It: The Fellowship of the Ring (Part 4)
In this episode of The Beacons Are Lit: A Lord of the Rings Podcast we talk about the Council of Elrond. Only the Council of Elrond. In addition to actually discussing the this great scene, we spend too much time talking about Viggo’s “it has no other master” line, discuss the various pronunciations of Morrrdorrr […]
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4
My Tomato’s Burst: The Fellowship of the Ring (Part 3)
In this episode of The Beacons Are Lit: A Lord of the Rings Podcast we talk about events immediately following leaving Bree to just before the Council of Elrond. What is elevensies? Was that one Ring Wraith trying to sneak off? Why didn’t Elrond end this mess 3,000 years ago? These and many other questions […]
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3
I Know What Hunts You: The Fellowship of the Ring (Part 2)
In this episode of The Beacons Are Lit: A Lord of the Rings Podcast we talk about events from Frodo and Sam seeing the wood elves on up until Strider makes his debut and saves the hobbits. We also discuss such important things as Saruman’s cleaning habits, Aragon’s choice of introduction, if the ring would […]
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2
Shire! Baggins!: The Fellowship of the Ring (Part 1)
This second episode of The Beacons Are Lit: A Lord of the Rings Podcast covers the first 45 minutes of the extended edition of the Fellowship of the Ring. We discuss the prologue that almost wasn’t, Gandalf arriving precisely when he means to, Bilbo’s speech preparation, Gandalf’s trip to the library, and the first steps […]
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1
Fellowship, Assemble!: A One Hour Trailer
The Beacons Are Lit is a Lord of the Rings Podcast discussing all things Middle-Earth including the films, upcoming Amazon Prime series, and more. What we lack in extensive Tolkien knowledge we make up for in humor and passion. If you enjoy LOTR you will enjoy us enjoying LOTR too. Features Mike Marbach (host), Kelly […]
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ABOUT THIS SHOW
The Beacons Are Lit is a Lord of the Rings Podcast discussing all things Middle-Earth including the upcoming Amazon Prime series The Rings of Power, the films, and more. What we lack in extensive Tolkien knowledge we make up for in humor and passion. If you enjoy LOTR you will enjoy us enjoying LOTR too. Features Mike Marbach (host), Kelly Conrad, Matt Garren, and Stacie Lyons.
HOSTED BY
Crossroads Comedy Theater
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