The Best of You

Today's Scripture: Mark 10:13–16 What do you do when being tender, dependent, or open feels risky? Today’s Scripture shows Jesus welcoming the children others tried to push aside — and inviting us to receive the kingdom like a child. This episode helps you reconnect with the tender, curious, receptive part of you without abandoning wisdom, discernment, or strength. You’ll learn: *Why childlike faith is not the same as being childish *How early experiences can teach us to hide tenderness or need *Why strength does not have to mean needing nothing *How Jesus welcomes the childlike part of you *What it means to receive love without earning it Go Deeper: Take the Family Roles Quiz at dralisoncook.com/quiz to better understand the role you learned to play early in life. Connect with Dr. Alison on Instagram: @dralisoncook Join 80,000+ Soul Menders in Dr. Alison’s free email community for ongoing reflection and support. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today's Scripture: Psalm 73:21–28 What do you do when pain, bitterness, fear, or loneliness makes it hard to sense that God is near? Today’s Scripture gives language for the honest ache of feeling disconnected from God while still being held by him. This episode helps you practice recognizing what is happening inside of you and returning to the love that has never left. You’ll learn: *Why feeling far from God is normal *How to recognize what is happening inside without shame *Why “yet I am always with you” is a practice of return *How pain can magnify certain feelings *One small way to return to God when your heart feels weak Go Deeper: Join my live roundtable with Jenna Riemersma and Tammy Sollenberger on July 29 when you pre-order The Secure Soul ⁠ Connect with Dr. Alison on Instagram: @dralisoncook Join 80,000+ Soul Menders in Dr. Alison’s free email community for ongoing reflection and support. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today's Scripture: Titus 3:3–7What happens when even your faith begins to feel like another place where you have to prove yourself? Today’s Scripture reminds us that God saves and renews us not because of how well we perform, but because of His kindness, love, and mercy. This episode will help you recognize when good qualities such as responsibility, faithfulness, and helpfulness are being driven by a fear that you must earn love. You’ll learn:*How striving for approval can turn into chronic overfunctioning*Why shame often disguises itself as spiritual maturity*The difference between God’s conviction and self-condemnation*How your early experiences of love may shape the way you imagine God*How to recognize the urge to prove yourself and return to mercy Go Deeper:Take the Family Roles Quiz to discover how the role you learned early in life may still shape your ability to receive love—from others, from yourself, and from God. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What if the greatest risk isn't failing? What if it's losing yourself while trying to succeed? In this episode, Dr. Alison sits down with Survivor 50 winner Aubry Bracco for a conversation about resilience, identity, and what it means to stay grounded in yourself through both success and disappointment. Aubry shares the deeply personal journey behind her years on Survivor—from experiencing a panic attack on national television and falling just short of winning, to stepping away from the game entirely after realizing she'd become disconnected from herself. Years later, she returned with a different mindset—not to prove herself, but to trust herself. That shift changed everything. Whether you're facing a setback, navigating a major life transition, or learning to quiet the pressure to achieve, this conversation is a reminder that true confidence isn't found in controlling the outcome—it's found in staying connected to who you are. You'll learn: Why resilience is built by staying present, not chasing perfection How setbacks can become invitations to deeper healing The difference between adapting and abandoning yourself Why taking risks doesn't require certainty—it requires trust How to distinguish your own inner wisdom from others' expectations What it looks like to pursue success without losing your sense of self Sometimes the bravest thing you can do isn't guaranteeing the outcome. It's trusting yourself enough to take the next step anyway. More Resources: You can now preorder Dr. Alison’s newest book, The Secure Soul, and immediately receive the first 3 chapters as well as early access to the companion guide! Connect further with @dralisoncook on Instagram Curious what Family Role may have shaped you? Take the Family Role Quiz to learn how you may be showing up in your relationships with others. 📖 Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here Don't forget to browse this week's sponsors, who make it possible for me to bring you these resources for free + provide you with additional discounts! Quince - How you dress affects your mood and you can trust that Quince has you covered in every day sustainable wardrobe staples. Go to ⁠Quince.com/bestofyou⁠ for 365-day returns, plus free shipping on your order! Aqua Tru - Join 98% of customers who have made their drinking water cleaner, safer, & healthier by visiting AquaTru.com and use promo code BESTOFYOU to get 20% off today! *Some of the links above are Amazon affiliate links. If you choose to purchase through them, I may earn a small commission at no extra cost to you. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today's Scripture: 1 Samuel 1:10–18 What do you do when someone misreads your pain and assumes the worst about you? Today’s Scripture introduces us to Hannah, whose anguish is mistaken for wrongdoing even as she is pouring out her soul to God. Her story reminds us that other people may misunderstand your tears, your reactions, or the years behind your pain—but God does not. This episode will help you bring the parts of your story that feel tangled, wordless, or repeatedly misread into the presence of the God who sees clearly. You’ll learn:*Why being misunderstood can make pain feel even more isolating*What Hannah’s wordless prayer teaches us about honest connection with God*Why your pain does not have to be perfectly explained to be seen*How to advocate for yourself when someone gets your story wrong*One way to release pain you have been holding insideGo Deeper: Read The Secure Soul to learn how to bring every part of yourself—including the parts that feel wordless or misunderstood—into the compassionate presence of God. Connect with Dr. Alison on Instagram: @dralisoncook Join 80,000+ Soul Menders in Dr. Alison’s free email community for ongoing reflection and support. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today's Scripture: John 11:17–27, 32–36 What do you do when grief leaves you wondering where God was—and why He didn’t intervene? Today’s Scripture shows us a Jesus who does not rush past sorrow, shame us for our questions, or demand that hope replace our tears. He enters the place of pain and weeps with us. This episode will help you honor your grief without mistaking it for a failure of faith. You’ll learn:*Why Jesus wept even though He knew resurrection was coming*How spiritualizing grief too quickly can leave you feeling more alone*Why disappointment with God does not disqualify you from closeness with Him*What it means to let Jesus witness the place of your deepest pain*Why Christian hope makes room for both resurrection and lament Go Deeper:Episode 133: Navigating the 6 Stages of Grief with Renowned Grief Expert David KesslerEpisode 98: Why Your Grief Matters & How to Support Those Who Are Grieving with J.S. Park Connect with Dr. Alison on Instagram: @dralisoncook Join 80,000+ Soul Menders in Dr. Alison’s free email community for ongoing reflection and support. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today's Scripture: Psalm 145:8–18What do you do when loneliness starts to make you question God’s nearness? Today’s Scripture reminds us that God does not ask us to come with polished words, tidy emotions, or perfect faith. God draws near when we call on him in truth. This episode will help you bring your actual self into God’s presence, including the parts of you that feel angry, unseen, disappointed, or far away. You’ll learn:*Why loneliness can begin to distort how you see God*What it means to call on God “in truth”*Why honesty with God creates connection instead of distance*How spiritual performance can leave hurting parts of you alone*One simple way to reach for God when you cannot feel His nearness Go Deeper:Read The Secure Soul to learn how to recognize the parts of you that feel far from God and return to His loving presence. Connect with Dr. Alison on Instagram: @dralisoncook Join 80,000+ Soul Menders in Dr. Alison’s free email community for ongoing reflection and support. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today's Scripture: 1 John 3:18–20 What do you do when the harshest voice in your life is the one inside you? Today’s Scripture helps us distinguish between true conviction, which leads to repair and life, and self-condemnation, which crushes us with shame. This episode helps you recognize the inner critic, notice when self-criticism starts to sound spiritual, and rest your heart in the presence of the God who is greater than your heart. You’ll learn:*The difference between conviction and condemnation*Why sensitive, conscientious people often mistake shame for maturity*How the inner critic tries to protect you through harshness*Why God’s full knowledge of you is comfort, not threat*One way to respond when your inner critic gets loud Go Deeper: Episode 140: How to Stop Blaming Yourself for Things That Aren’t Your FaultRead I Shouldn’t Feel This Way for help distinguishing true guilt from false guilt. Connect with Dr. Alison on Instagram: @dralisoncook Join 80,000+ Soul Menders in Dr. Alison’s free email community for ongoing reflection and support. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Every marriage goes through difficult seasons. But what happens when you're the only one willing to do the work? When every conversation ends in blame, defensiveness, or silence? When you're trying to repair the relationship, but your partner refuses to take responsibility? In this week's episode, Dr. Alison sits down with licensed clinical social worker and relationship expert Leslie Vernick to explore the difference between a marriage that's simply hard and one that's become emotionally destructive. Together, they unpack the patterns that quietly erode trust, why healthy relationships require repair, and how to begin reclaiming your own stability—even if your spouse never changes. You'll learn: The difference between a difficult marriage and an emotionally destructive one Why repair—not perfection—is the mark of a healthy relationship The warning signs of blame, gaslighting, and chronic deflection How to stop centering your life around changing another person Why becoming a God-centered person changes the way you navigate unhealthy relationships Practical first steps you can take when you're the only one pursuing growth Whether you're navigating a difficult marriage yourself or supporting someone who is, this conversation offers wisdom, compassion, and hope. Because healing doesn't always begin when someone else changes. Sometimes it begins when you discover what it looks like to stand on your own two feet while remaining deeply rooted in God. Take Leslie’s free quiz “Are you in an emotionally destructive marriage?” Make sure to read Leslie’s book “The Emotionally Destructive Relationship: Seeing it, Stopping It, Surviving It” More Resources: You can now preorder Dr. Alison’s newest book, The Secure Soul, and immediately receive the first 3 chapters as well as early access to the companion guide! Connect further with @dralisoncook on Instagram Curious what Family Role may have shaped you? Take the Family Role Quiz to learn how you may be showing up in your relationships with others. Want to hear more like this? Start here: Episode 203: Staying Close When Connection Feels Hard—The Relationship Skills No One Taught You (with Relationship Expert Dr. James Cordova) 📖 Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here Don't forget to browse this week's sponsors, who make it possible for me to bring you these resources for free + provide you with additional discounts! Quince - How you dress affects your mood and you can trust that Quince has you covered in every day sustainable wardrobe staples. Go to ⁠Quince.com/bestofyou⁠ for 365-day returns, plus free shipping on your order! Remi - Start sleeping better with a Remi nightguard and use code BESTOFYOU and get 50% off your purchase. Go to ShopRemi.com/BESTOFYOU and use code BESTOFYOU. AirDoctor - Did you know the quality of oxygen you breathe affects your brain which in turn your thoughts? Eliminate 99.9% contaminants in your home with AirDoctor by visiting AirDoctorPro.com and use promo code BESTOFYOU to get UP TO $300 off today! *Some of the links above are Amazon affiliate links. If you choose to purchase through them, I may earn a small commission at no extra cost to you. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today's Scripture: Judges 6:11–16What do you do when God calls you beloved, strong, courageous, or capable — but a part of you does not believe it applies to you? Today’s Scripture shows God meeting Gideon while he is afraid and hiding, then calling him a “mighty warrior.” This episode helps you notice the old stories you’ve been living under and begin trusting God’s presence more than your fear, insecurity, or family narrative. You’ll learn:*Why God’s truth about you can feel unfamiliar at first*How old narratives shape what you believe you’re capable of*Why God calls Gideon while he is still hiding*The difference between false affirmation and holy naming*How to go in the strength you actually have todayGo Deeper: Share this episode with someone who struggles to believe what God says about them. Connect with Dr. Alison on Instagram: @dralisoncook Join 80,000+ Soul Menders in Dr. Alison’s free email community for ongoing reflection and support. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today's Scripture: Luke 18:35–43 What do you do when you’ve learned to swallow your needs, lower your voice, or stop asking for help? Today’s Scripture shows a blind man crying out to Jesus while the crowd tells him to be quiet — and Jesus stops to listen. This episode helps you notice where you’ve been trained into silence, reclaim the dignity of your longing, and answer Jesus’ question: “What do you want me to do for you?” You’ll learn:*Why your needs may feel inconvenient or “too much”*How learned silence develops when your voice has been dismissed*Why Jesus is not irritated by your longing*How desire can become a doorway to encounter*One honest way to answer Jesus’ question todayGo Deeper: Take a moment to write down your answer to Jesus’ question: “What do you want me to do for you?” Connect with Dr. Alison on Instagram: @dralisoncook Join 80,000+ Soul Menders in Dr. Alison’s free email community for ongoing reflection and support. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today's Scripture: Psalm 77:1–12 What do you do when you believe in God, keep showing up, and still feel nothing? Today’s Scripture gives language for spiritual desolation — the ache of crying out to God and not feeling comforted. This episode helps you bring honest questions to God, understand why distress can make it hard to feel what you know, and practice remembering when God feels far away. You’ll learn:*Why not feeling God does not mean you are outside the life of faith*How Psalm 77 gives permission for honest questions*Why distress can narrow your sense of what is true*How remembering becomes a practice of spiritual reorientation*What to do when faith feels more like an ember than a flameGo Deeper: Pre-order The Secure Soul and learn how to reconnect with the parts of you that feel distant from God. Connect with Dr. Alison on Instagram: @dralisoncook Join 80,000+ Soul Menders in Dr. Alison’s free email community for ongoing reflection and support.While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today's Scripture: Colossians 1:15–20 What do you do when your nervous system believes everything depends on you? Today’s Scripture reminds us that it is in Christ (not in our own control)that all things hold together. This episode helps you recognize over-responsibility, release what was never yours to carry, and learn how to participate in love without becoming the hidden center of everyone else’s life. You’ll learn: *Why responsibility can become over-responsibility *How overfunctioning makes every need feel like your obligation *Why your role is participation vs. playing God *One thing you can release today Go Deeper: Pre-order The Secure Soul and learn how to help over-functioning parts of you recognize old patterns and return to love. Connect with Dr. Alison on Instagram: @dralisoncook Join 80,000+ Soul Menders in Dr. Alison’s free email community for ongoing reflection and support. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

"Can I forgive someone and still keep healthy boundaries?" "Why does forgiveness still feel impossible?" Forgiveness is one of the most beautiful teachings of the Christian faith—and one of the most misunderstood. Many of us learned that forgiveness meant moving on quickly, letting go of our anger, or restoring a relationship before trust had been rebuilt. But what if forgiveness isn't about minimizing harm at all? In this episode, Dr. Alison Cook sits down with theologian, author, and advocate Dr. Amy Orr-Ewing to explore a richer, more biblically grounded understanding of forgiveness. Together they unpack the difference between forgiveness, reconciliation, justice, and repair—and why naming the truth of what happened is an essential part of healing. Whether you're navigating family wounds, betrayal, church hurt, or simply wondering why forgiveness feels so difficult, this conversation offers both compassion and hope. You'll learn: Why forgiveness is not the same as reconciliation. How forgiveness differs from denying or minimizing harm. Why anger can be a healthy and necessary part of healing. How forgiveness and justice can exist together. What Scripture teaches about forgiveness after abuse or betrayal. Why forgiveness is often a journey rather than a single decision. How God's grace empowers forgiveness without requiring self-abandonment. Forgiveness isn't pretending the wound never happened. It's telling the truth about what was lost while slowly allowing God's grace to heal what was broken. Make sure to check out Amy’s new book, “Forgiveness: Reclaiming Its Power in a Culture of Outrage and Fear” More Resources: You can now preorder Dr. Alison’s newest book, The Secure Soul, and immediately receive the first 3 chapters as well as early access to the companion guide! Connect further with @dralisoncook on Instagram Curious what Family Role may have shaped you? Take the Family Role Quiz to learn how you may be showing up in your relationships with others. Want to hear more like this? Start here: Episode 78: The Mental Health Benefits of Forgiveness and Thoughts on Grace with Max Lucado 📖 Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here Don't forget to browse this week's sponsors, who make it possible for me to bring you these resources for free + provide you with additional discounts! Quince - How you dress affects your mood and you can trust that Quince has you covered in every day sustainable wardrobe staples. Go to ⁠Quince.com/bestofyou⁠ for 365-day returns, plus free shipping on your order! Aqua Tru - Join 98% of customers who have made their drinking water cleaner, safer, & healthier by visiting AquaTru.com and use promo code BESTOFYOU to get 20% off today! MOSH - Start building brain health into your every day with MOSH bars. Head to moshlife.com/BESTOFYOU25 and subscribe today to get 25% OFF your first Variety Pack and 20% off your monthly subscription with code BESTOFYOU25. That’s 25% off your first pack and 20% off your subscription of brain-boosting bars delivered straight to your door. *Some of the links above are Amazon affiliate links. If you choose to purchase through them, I may earn a small commission at no extra cost to you. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today's Scripture: Numbers 13:25–33 What do you do when fear makes a hard conversation, new opportunity, or uncertain future feel bigger than your capacity to face it? Today’s Scripture shows how fear can distort self-perception, magnify obstacles, and make us feel like “grasshoppers in our own eyes.” This episode helps you notice fear without letting it shrink your sense of God, yourself, or what is possible. You’ll learn:*How fear can become a lens that distorts reality*Why courage is not the absence of fear*How fear magnifies obstacles and minimizes your capacity*Why remembering God’s faithfulness helps restore perspective*One brave next step you can take without solving the whole futureGo Deeper: Listen to Episode 41, “Boundaries With Fear and Anxiety,” and explore the free Boundaries for Your Soul resources Connect with Dr. Alison on Instagram: @dralisoncook Join 80,000+ Soul Menders in Dr. Alison’s free email community for ongoing reflection and support. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today's Scripture: Luke 13:34–35 **Today's devotional is in response to listener requests.**What do you do when someone you love will not come close, receive help, or change the pattern that is hurting them? Today’s Scripture gives us a tender and honest picture of Jesus longing to gather Jerusalem like a hen gathers her chicks —and grieving that they were not willing. This episode helps you love deeply without overfunctioning, chasing, fixing, or taking responsibility for someone else’s response. You’ll learn: *Why love can be fully offered and still refused*How overfunctioning often grows out of anxiety and attachment distress*Why Jesus grieves without controlling*The difference between loving someone and becoming responsible for their agency*How to love with both tenderness and limits Go Deeper: Pre-order The Secure Soul and learn how to recognize the controller part of you that’s trying to help — and return it to love. Connect with Dr. Alison on Instagram: @dralisoncook Join 80,000+ Soul Menders in Dr. Alison’s free email community for ongoing reflection and support. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today's Scripture: Psalm 37:1–8 What do you do when someone who hurt you seems to be winning? Today’s Scripture speaks into the anger, grief, resentment, and fixation that can rise up when people do harm and appear to get away with it. This episode helps you care about justice without letting someone else’s wrongdoing take over your inner life. You’ll learn: *Why “do not fret” means more than “do not worry” *How your nervous system can get locked onto someone else’s wrongdoing *The difference between righteous concern and corrosive fixation *Why Psalm 37 is grounding, not spiritual bypassing *One question to ask: What is mine to do, and what is God’s to hold? Go Deeper: Share this episode with someone who’s struggling to stop replaying what happened. Connect with Dr. Alison on Instagram: ⁠@dralisoncook⁠ ⁠Join⁠ 80,000+ Soul Menders in Dr. Alison’s free email community for ongoing reflection and support. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today's Scripture: 2 Corinthians 12:7–10 **Today's devotional is in response to listener requests.**What do you do when you’ve prayed for something to change—and it still hasn’t? In today’s episode, Dr. Alison reflects on one of the most uncomfortable passages in the New Testament: Paul’s thorn in the flesh. Paul pleads with God three times for it to be removed, and God does not remove it. Instead, God gives him a promise: “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” We explore: *Why unresolved pain can feel so hard to carry*What Paul’s thorn teaches us about weakness and grace*The difference between acceptance and resignation*How fighting what cannot be changed can compound suffering*What it means for Christ’s power to “rest” on us in weakness Go Deeper: Episode 208: Spiritual Dryness, Burnout, and the Desert Seasons of Faith with Tish Harrison Warren Read I Shouldn’t Feel This Way to learn more about naming what’s hard and discerning whether to change it, leave it, or suffer wisely Connect with Dr. Alison on Instagram: @dralisoncook Join 80,000+ Soul Menders in Dr. Alison’s free email community for ongoing reflection and support. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Have you ever noticed how quickly old patterns resurface when you're around family? Maybe you find yourself walking on eggshells. Struggling to voice your preferences. Feeling responsible for everyone else's emotions. Or slipping back into roles you thought you'd left behind years ago. In this episode, Dr. Alison revisits one of the most requested conversations from the podcast, exploring how the dynamics we experienced growing up continue to shape our relationships today. Through the lens of attachment theory, boundaries, and family systems, Alison unpacks five common patterns that can influence the way we show up with the people we love—and how awareness is the first step toward healing. You'll learn: *Why family relationships can pull us back into old roles *What enmeshment is—and how it differs from healthy closeness *Five family patterns that often follow us into adulthood *How childhood experiences shape the way we handle conflict, boundaries, and relationships *Practical steps to help you begin breaking free from unhealthy dynamics Healing begins by telling the truth with wisdom, compassion, and truth—so you can love others without losing yourself. More Resources: You can now preorder Dr. Alison’s newest book, The Secure Soul, and immediately receive the first 3 chapters as well as early access to the companion guide! Connect further with @dralisoncook on Instagram Curious what Family Role may have shaped you? Take the Family Role Quiz to learn how you may be showing up in your relationships with others. Want to hear more like this? Start here: Episode 194: When Relationships Start to Drain You—Using Discernment to Stay Connected Without Losing Yourself Episode 178 How to Recognize Toxic Tactics, and Stop Taking the Bait 📖 Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here Don't forget to browse this week's sponsors, who make it possible for me to bring you these resources for free + provide you with additional discounts! Quince - How you dress affects your mood and you can trust that Quince has you covered in every day sustainable wardrobe staples. Go to ⁠Quince.com/bestofyou⁠ for 365-day returns, plus free shipping on your order! Aqua Tru - Join 98% of customers who have made their drinking water cleaner, safer, & healthier by visiting AquaTru.com and use promo code BESTOFYOU to get 20% off today! *Some of the links above are Amazon affiliate links. If you choose to purchase through them, I may earn a small commission at no extra cost to you. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today's Scripture: Genesis 21:14–19 What if the help you need is closer than you can see right now? In today’s episode, Dr. Alison reflects on the story of Hagar in the wilderness—a woman who had been used, cast out, and left to survive what she did not choose. When the water runs out, Hagar reaches the end of herself. But God hears, draws near, and opens her eyes to a well that was already there. We explore: *Why despair narrows our vision Need help finding the well in front of you?Visit dralisoncook.com/podcast and use the search bar to type in whatever you’re carrying today—anxiety, grief, shame, boundaries, resentment, burnout, or anything else that feels heavy. You’ll find past episodes and conversations with experts that may offer the next small mercy, resource, or perspective you need. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today's Scripture: Matthew 14:22–33**Today's devotional is in response to listener requests.**Have you ever taken a risk, stepped out in faith, and then wondered if you made a mistake? In today’s episode, Dr. Alison reflects on the story of Peter walking on water toward Jesus. Peter begins with courage, but when the wind picks up, fear takes over and he starts to sink. This passage reminds us that fear does not mean faith has disappeared—it may mean our attention has become divided. We explore:*Why courage can feel frightening after we step out*How fear narrows our attention and distorts what we see*Why Peter’s sinking was not the end of the story*What it means that Jesus reaches out immediately Go Deeper: Learn more about steadying yourself through fear in my new book The Secure Soul. Start reading now when you preorder. Connect with Dr. Alison on Instagram: @dralisoncook Join 80,000+ Soul Menders in Dr. Alison’s free email community for ongoing reflection and support. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today’s episode, Dr. Alison reflects on David’s honest prayer: “My spirit fails.” This is not a polished prayer or a failure of faith. It is a truthful prayer from a depleted soul. If you’re still functioning on the outside but feel dry, drained, or quietly unraveling on the inside, this passage gives you language for coming to God exactly as you are. We explore: *Why depletion is not laziness or spiritual failure *How emotional exhaustion impacts your nervous system *What actually helps restore us *Next steps to take when you're feeling depleted Go Deeper: If today’s devotion helped you feel less alone, share it with someone who might need the same encouragement. Connect with Dr. Alison on Instagram: @dralisoncook Join 80,000+ Soul Menders in Dr. Alison’s free email community for ongoing reflection and support. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today's Scripture: Ephesians 1:3–12 **Today's devotional is in response to listener requests.** Why is it so hard to receive a love that's freely given—especially if you’ve learned that love has to be earned, approval is conditional, or goodness is for other people? In today’s episode, Dr. Alison Cook reflects on Paul’s astonishing words about blessing, belovedness, adoption, redemption, forgiveness, and grace. Before Paul gives the Ephesians instructions for how to live, he reminds them who they already are in Christ. We explore: *Why responsibility can feel safer than receiving*What a shame schema is and how it filters out goodness*Why love, grace, and belonging can feel threatening*The difference between entitlement and true belonging*How to live from belovedness instead of working for it Go Deeper: If you struggle to sense God’s love, check out Dr. Alison’s new book The Secure Soul - start reading today when you preorder. Connect with Dr. Alison on Instagram: @dralisoncook Join 80,000+ Soul Menders in Dr. Alison’s free email community for ongoing reflection and support. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Scripture is powerful.  It has the power to comfort, guide, convict, and restore. But when it's taken out of context or used to control, it can also leave deep wounds. In this conversation, Dr. Alison sits down with theologian and Mending the Soul co-founder Dr. Steven Tracy to explore how Scripture can be used as medicine—or as poison—for those who have experienced abuse. Together, they unpack some of the most commonly misused passages around submission, forgiveness, honoring parents, and divorce, while offering a more faithful way of reading Scripture: one that reflects God's heart for the vulnerable, the oppressed, and the wounded. Here’s what you’ll cover * Why spiritually abusive people often weaponize Scripture* How to recognize the difference between biblical truth and spiritual manipulation* What God reveals about His heart for those experiencing abuse* Why humility matters when we interpret Scripture* How healthy boundaries honor both God and human dignity* How survivors can begin rebuilding trust in both God and His Word Whether you've experienced spiritual abuse yourself, love someone who has, or simply want to handle Scripture with greater wisdom and compassion, this conversation offers both clarity and hope. Because God's Word was never meant to keep you trapped in harm. It was always meant to lead you toward healing. More Resources: You can now preorder Dr. Alison’s newest book, The Secure Soul, and immediately receive the first 3 chapters as well as early access to the companion guide! Read Dr. Steven Tracy’s book: To Heal or Harm Connect further with @dralisoncook on Instagram Curious what Family Role may have shaped you? Take the Family Role Quiz to learn how you may be showing up in your relationships with others. Want to hear more like this? Start here: Episode 163: Healing Spiritual Wounds – Understanding Abuse in Faith Spaces Episode 17: What is Church Hurt and How Do I Heal? 📖 Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here Don't forget to browse this week's sponsors, who make it possible for me to bring you these resources for free + provide you with additional discounts! Quince - How you dress affects your mood and you can trust that Quince has you covered in every day sustainable wardrobe staples. Go to ⁠Quince.com/bestofyou⁠ for 365-day returns, plus free shipping on your order! StoryWorth - Give your loved ones a unique keepsake you’ll all cherish for years—Storyworth Memoirs! Right now, save $10 or more during their Holiday sale when you go to StoryWorth.com/BESTOFYOU! Remi - Start sleeping better with a Remi nightguard and use code BESTOFYOU and get 50% off your purchase. Go to ShopRemi.com/BESTOFYOU and use code BESTOFYOU. AirDoctor - Did you know the quality of oxygen you breathe affects your brain which in turn your thoughts? Eliminate 99.9% contaminants in your home with AirDoctor by visiting AirDoctorPro.com and use promo code BESTOFYOU to get UP TO $300 off today! *Some of the links above are Amazon affiliate links. If you choose to purchase through them, I may earn a small commission at no extra cost to you. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today's Scripture: Zechariah 8:4–5 What if one of the clearest signs of healing isn’t just that danger ends—but that joy returns? In today’s episode, Dr. Alison Cook reflects on Zechariah’s beautiful vision of restoration: elderly men and women sitting safely in the streets, and children playing again. It’s a picture of hope after devastation, safety after fear, and joy returning to the most vulnerable places. We explore:*Why play is a sign of safety and healing*How survival mode can crowd out joy, creativity, and delight*What Zechariah’s vision teaches us about shalom and restoration*Why God’s vision of healing includes the vulnerable, the elderly, and the young*How to help the younger parts of you remember what safety feels like Go Deeper: Episode 172: Daring Joy: Breaking Free from Fear, Cynicism, and Toxic Positivity with Therapist Nicole Zasowski Episode 198: Tiny Joys, Big Healing: Retraining the Brain for Hope with Dr MaryCatherine McDonald Connect with Dr. Alison on Instagram: @dralisoncook Join 80,000+ Soul Menders in Dr. Alison’s free email community for ongoing reflection and support. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today's Scripture: Mark 5:1–20 Have you ever started answering to a name your pain gave you? In today’s episode, Dr. Alison Cook reflects on the story of the man living among the tombs in Mark 5—a man whose torment had become his name. When Jesus asks, “What is your name?” he does not ask in order to shame him, but to surface what has claimed him and begin the work of setting him free. We explore: *How pain can become part of your identity *The difference between carrying a wound and becoming defined by it Why shame collapses the self and makes change feel impossible *How Jesus separates who you are from what has tormented you *What it means to receive a truer name from God Go Deeper: Episode 197: A deep dive with Dr. Joel Muddamalle on spiritual warfare and personal responsibility Episode 158: Your Pain Has a Name: The Deeper Hurt Behind Distressing Thoughts with Monica DiCristina Connect with Dr. Alison on Instagram: @dralisoncook Join 80,000+ Soul Menders in Dr. Alison’s free email community for ongoing reflection and support. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today's Scripture: Psalm 86:1–7 What do you do when you feel so tired, stretched thin, or aware of your need that even prayer feels vulnerable? In today’s episode, Dr. Alison Cook reflects on the tender image of a God who bends low to hear us. This passage gives us permission to bring our need honestly into God’s presence—not as a shame statement, but as a truth statement. We explore: *Why need can feel so vulnerable *How attachment wounds shape the way we approach God *Why we often pray around our need instead of from our need *The difference between humility and shame *How God meets us in the poor and needy places of the soul Go Deeper: If you struggle to sense God’s nearness, check out Dr. Alison’s new book, The Secure Soul. Start reading when you pre-order now. Connect with Dr. Alison on Instagram: @dralisoncook Join 80,000+ Soul Menders in Dr. Alison’s free email community for ongoing reflection and support. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today's Scripture: Romans 12:15**Today's devotional is in response to listener requests.**In this episode, Dr. Alison Cook reflects on the holy work of mourning with those who mourn. She explores why grief often needs presence more than advice, and how attunement, co-regulation, and the way of Jesus help us sit with sorrow without rushing to fix it. We explore:*Why grief can feel so isolating*What it means to offer attuned presence instead of advice, fixing, or forced comfort*Why co-regulation helps a grieving person feel less alone*How Jesus responds to grief*How to sit with the grieving parts of your own soul with tenderness and love Go Deeper:Episode 133: Navigating the 6 Stages of Grief with David KesslerEpisode 98: Why Your Grief Matters and How to Support Those Who Are Grieving with Chaplain JS Park Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What if healing isn’t just about changing your circumstances—but also tending what’s been growing inside of you? Last week, we explored the metaphor of seed and soil: the way your nature and your nurture shape who you become. This week, we’re going deeper. Because your inner world isn’t just one plant—it’s more like a whole garden. In this episode, we’ll explore the difference between tending your inner garden and tending the outer soil around you. You’ll learn why old patterns can still show up even after you’ve changed your life, why boundaries are not punishment, and how real healing involves both compassion for what grew inside of you and courage to change what surrounds you now. Here’s what we cover: *How to recognize the tender, resilient, overgrown, and buried parts of your inner world *Why changing your outer environment helps—but doesn’t automatically heal the inner one *The difference between boundaries as punishment and boundaries as self-stewardship *How differentiation helps you stay connected to yourself, even in difficult relationships *Why real change is possible, even if the soil around you has been hard Real healing is rarely a single breakthrough moment. It's the slow, faithful work of tending what has been entrusted to you, one step at a time. More Resources: You can now preorder Dr. Alison’s newest book, The Secure Soul, and immediately receive the first 3 chapters as well as early access to the companion guide! Connect further with @dralisoncook on Instagram Curious what Family Role may have shaped you? Take the Family Role Quiz to learn how you may be showing up in your relationships with others. Want to hear more like this? Start here: Episode 212: Why You Feel Everything So Deeply (and Other People Don’t): Childhood, Sensitivity & the Nervous System Episode 20: Making Peace with Yourself (& Facing Your Fear of Disappointing Other People) 📖 Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here Don't forget to browse this week's sponsors, who make it possible for me to bring you these resources for free + provide you with additional discounts! Quince - How you dress affects your mood and you can trust that Quince has you covered in every day sustainable wardrobe staples. Go to ⁠Quince.com/bestofyou⁠ for 365-day returns, plus free shipping on your order! StoryWorth - Give your loved ones a unique keepsake you’ll all cherish for years—Storyworth Memoirs! Right now, save $10 or more during their Holiday sale when you go to StoryWorth.com/BESTOFYOU! MOSH - Start building brain health into your every day with MOSH bars. Head to moshlife.com/BESTOFYOU25 and subscribe today to get 25% OFF your first Variety Pack and 20% off your monthly subscription with code BESTOFYOU25. That’s 25% off your first pack and 20% off your subscription of brain-boosting bars delivered straight to your door. AirDoctor - Did you know the quality of oxygen you breathe affects your brain which in turn your thoughts? Eliminate 99.9% contaminants in your home with AirDoctor by visiting AirDoctorPro.com and use promo code BESTOFYOU to get UP TO $300 off today! *Some of the links above are Amazon affiliate links. If you choose to purchase through them, I may earn a small commission at no extra cost to you. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today's Scripture: 1 Samuel 20:12–17In this episode, Dr. Alison Cook reflects on the complicated loyalty Jonathan faces as Saul’s son and David’s friend. Through the lens of family systems, she explores what happens when love, truth, guilt, and unhealthy family roles collide. We explore:*Why family loyalty does not mean covering for harm or pretending everything is okay*How family systems often work to maintain silence, balance, and familiar roles*What differentiation means—and why it helps you stay connected without abandoning yourself*Why guilt can show up when you step out of an old family role*How to name what is true with wisdom, courage, and love Go Deeper:Take the Family Roles QuizEpisode 85: The Goal of a Health Family & 6 Roles We Take On in DysfunctionEpisode 147: Making Sense of Your Family Story with Adam YoungEpisode 161: Healing From Dysfunctional Family Patterns with Jerry Wise Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today's Scripture: Mark 6:31-32**Today's devotional is in response to listener requests.**In this episode, Dr. Alison Cook reflects on Jesus’ tender invitation to come away to a quiet place and rest. She explores overstimulation, constant availability, and why honoring your limits is not a failure of love—it may be what helps you return to love. We explore:*Why overstimulation is often a capacity issue*How noise, touch, screens, interruptions, and emotional demands affect your nervous system*Why Jesus honors human limits instead of shaming them*How to step away from the noise without abandoning the people you love*Why quiet, rest, and spaciousness are so importantGo Deeper:Episode 176: Intimacy with God in a Noisy World with Dr. Stephen MacchiaEpisode 122: Balancing Mental, Emotional, and Spiritual Health with John Mark Comer Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today's Scripture: Psalm 34: 4-8In this episode, Dr. Alison Cook reflects on what it means to bring fear into the presence of God. Instead of shaming fear or trying to force it away, she offers a compassionate way to recognize the fearful places within us and return to love. We explore:*Why fear can become a quiet but powerful inner leader*How fear and shame work together to keep us hiding*What it means to recognize fear without letting it run the whole system*Why “taste and see” invites us to experience God’s goodness in an embodied way*How secure attachment with God begins as we bring fearful parts of us into loving presence Go Deeper:Recognize fearful places within through Dr. Alison's new book & workbook The Secure Soul - you can start reading today when you preorder! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today's Scripture: Ephesians 5:21–33**Today's devotional is in response to listener requests.**In this episode, Dr. Alison Cook reflects on the often misunderstood language of submission. She explores the heart of Paul’s teaching through the lens of Jesus: mutual reverence, self-giving love, and power expressed through care—not control. We explore:*What submission is not *Why Ephesians 5 begins with mutual submission and must be read through the way of Jesus*How religious language can sometimes reinforce fear, control, or self-abandonment*Why real love creates space for both people to become more whole, honest, and free*What mutuality looks like in relationships marked by dignity, accountability, and truthGo Deeper:Episode 56: Am I really Supposed to Die to Myself?Episode 55: Am I Supposed to Distrust Myself?Episode 5: What is Codependency and Why Does it Matter?Read the first 3 chapters of The Best of You here. Connect with Dr. Alison on Instagram: @dralisoncook Join 80,000+ Soul Menders in Dr. Alison’s free email community for ongoing reflection and support. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Why do certain situations overwhelm you while someone you love seems completely unaffected?  In this episode, Dr. Alison explores one of the most important questions we ask about ourselves: Why am I the way I am? Using the image of a seed planted in soil, she explains how your God-given wiring, childhood environment, sensitivity, and nervous system all work together to shape the person you are today. This conversation offers a compassionate framework for understanding yourself—and the people you love—in an honest, empowering way. (You’ll want to share this episode with your loved ones!) You’ll learn: Why your brain is like a plant How childhood shapes your mental and emotional health The difference between your wiring and your wounding The research behind “orchid children” and “dandelion children” How different kinds of “soil” shape your nervous system, relationships, resilience, and sense of safety Why highly sensitive people may struggle more in hard environments—and thrive more in healthy ones Why healing begins when you understand both the seed you were given and the soil that shaped you This episode will help you see your story—and your loved ones—with more clarity, compassion, and hope. More Resources: You can now preorder Dr. Alison’s newest book, The Secure Soul, and immediately receive the first 3 chapters as well as early access to the companion guide! Connect further with @dralisoncook on Instagram Curious what Family Role may have shaped you? Take the Family Role Quiz to learn how you may be showing up in your relationships with others. Want to hear more like this? Start here: Episode 143: Reparenting Your Younger Self—How to Stop Seeking Approval From Others & Find Inner Security Episode 22: How to Build Trust with Yourself  📖 Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here Don't forget to browse this week's sponsors, who make it possible for me to bring you these resources for free + provide you with additional discounts! Quince - How you dress affects your mood and you can trust that Quince has you covered in every day sustainable wardrobe staples. Go to ⁠Quince.com/bestofyou⁠ for 365-day returns, plus free shipping on your order! StoryWorth - Give your loved ones a unique keepsake you’ll all cherish for years—Storyworth Memoirs! Right now, save $10 or more during their Holiday sale when you go to StoryWorth.com/BESTOFYOU! Remi - Start sleeping better with a Remi nightguard and use code BESTOFYOU and get 50% off your purchase. Go to ShopRemi.com/BESTOFYOU and use code BESTOFYOU. Aqua Tru - Join 98% of customers who have made their drinking water cleaner, safer, & healthier by visiting AquaTru.com and use promo code BESTOFYOU to get 20% off today! *Some of the links above are Amazon affiliate links. If you choose to purchase through them, I may earn a small commission at no extra cost to you. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today's Scripture: Jeremiah 17:5–8 In this episode, Dr. Alison Cook reflects on the powerful image of a tree planted by water. She explores what happens when we ask approval, productivity, perfectionism, control, or another person’s response to carry the full weight of our security. We explore: *Why needing people is not the problem—but making one person your source can drain your soul *How approval, productivity, perfectionism, and control can become fragile root systems *Why fear-based attachment makes it hard to receive goodness *How to become like a tree planted by water, steady even when heat or drought comes *How secure attachment with God helps you receive love without clinging to it Connect with Dr. Alison on Instagram: @dralisoncook Join 80,000+ Soul Menders in Dr. Alison’s free email community for ongoing reflection and support. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today's Scripture: Mark 9:43–47**Today's devotional is in response to listener requests.**What do you do when you keep returning to the same behavior—the one that offers relief in the moment but leaves you feeling ashamed, disconnected, or farther from love? In this episode, Dr. Alison Cook reflects on Jesus’ intense words in Mark 9:43–47 and reframes them not as an invitation to self-hatred, but as a call to radical honesty and freedom. We explore: *How to break a bad habit without getting trapped in shame*Why patterns like numbing, resentment, control, people-pleasing, comparison, or fantasy can pull us away from love*How compulsive behaviors shape your nervous system, desires, and relationships*Why willpower alone usually isn’t enough to change a deeply patterned behavior*How creating distance from triggers can become a wise spiritual practice Go Deeper:Episode 197: A deep dive with Dr. Joel Al on spiritual warfare and personal responsibility Connect with Dr. Alison on Instagram: @dralisoncook Join 80,000+ Soul Menders in Dr. Alison’s free email community for ongoing reflection and support.While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today's Scripture: Psalm 40:1–3 What do you do when you’ve prayed, waited, done the work, and still feel stuck in the middle of a pit? In this episode, Dr. Alison Cook reflects on Psalm 40:1–3 and the kind of patience that isn’t passive, polished, or emotionally detached—but deeply honest before God. This episode is for anyone who feels worn down by waiting and needs a reminder that God hears, turns toward, and meets us with love one small step at a time. We explore: *Why biblical patience doesn't mean suppressing your emotions *Why Christian hope is different from forced optimism *What it means to find “a firm place to stand” *How God forms a new song in us slowly Go Deeper: Episode 77: The Dark Night of the Soul: Why It Happens and What It Means Episode 99: Exploring a Broken Spirit & the Dark Night of the Soul with Christopher Cook Connect with Dr. Alison on Instagram: @dralisoncook Join 80,000+ Soul Menders in Dr. Alison’s free email community for ongoing reflection and support. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today's Scripture: Ephesians 4:26–27 **Today's devotional is in response to listener requests.** Anger can be confusing—especially if you were taught it was bad, dangerous, or unspiritual. But Scripture gives us a more nuanced path: anger itself is not automatically sin, but it does need care.Today’s episode looks at Ephesians 4 and the difference between anger as a signal and anger as a force that can harm when left untended. We explore: *Why anger is a mobilizing emotion *Why “do not let the sun go down” should not be used to force premature reconciliation *How to slow your body down before anger takes over *What it means to practice honesty without harm Go Deeper: Episode 83: How to Turn Anger, Sadness, and Fear Into Powerful Allies Episode 44: Why Anger Can Become a Surprising Friend Connect with Dr. Alison on Instagram: @dralisoncook Join 80,000+ Soul Menders in Dr. Alison’s free email community for ongoing reflection and support. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

When did being a responsible adult become synonymous with being serious all the time? Somewhere along the way, many of us learned that curiosity, playfulness, imagination, and wonder were things we needed to leave behind in order to grow up. But what if those qualities aren't distractions from a meaningful life? What if they're essential to it? In this episode, Dr. Alison Cook sits down with entrepreneur, creative visionary, and author Piera Gelardi to explore why playfulness is far more than a luxury—it's a powerful source of resilience, creativity, connection, and emotional well-being. Together, they unpack how stress, perfectionism, and the pressure to "have it all together" disconnect us from our authentic selves, and how reclaiming play can help us feel more alive. You'll learn: Why playfulness is a sign of emotional health How stress, perfectionism, and the "cool police" rob us of joy The surprising connection between play and resilience How to move from a pressured state into a playful state Practical ways to reconnect with curiosity, wonder, and creativity Why childlike qualities may actually be your greatest strengths This conversation is an invitation to loosen your grip, laugh a little more, and rediscover the parts of yourself that make you feel most alive. More Resources: Order Piera’s book, The Playful Way: Creativity, Connection, and Joy Through Everyday Moments of Play You can now preorder Dr. Alison’s newest book, The Secure Soul, and immediately receive the first 3 chapters as well as early access to the companion guide! Connect further with @dralisoncook on Instagram Curious what Family Role may have shaped you? Take the Family Role Quiz to learn how you may be showing up in your relationships with others. Want to hear more like this? Start here: Episode 188: Tiny Joys, Big Healing: Retraining the Brain for Hope with Dr MaryCatherine McDonald 📖 Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here Don't forget to browse this week's sponsors, who make it possible for me to bring you these resources for free + provide you with additional discounts! Quince - How you dress affects your mood and you can trust that Quince has you covered in every day sustainable wardrobe staples. Go to ⁠Quince.com/bestofyou⁠ for 365-day returns, plus free shipping on your order! StoryWorth - Give your loved ones a unique keepsake you’ll all cherish for years—Storyworth Memoirs! Right now, save $10 or more during their Holiday sale when you go to StoryWorth.com/BESTOFYOU! MOSH - Start building brain health into your every day with MOSH bars. Head to moshlife.com/BESTOFYOU25 and subscribe today to get 25% OFF your first Variety Pack and 20% off your monthly subscription with code BESTOFYOU25. That’s 25% off your first pack and 20% off your subscription of brain-boosting bars delivered straight to your door. AquaTru - Shower Head - Unlock your hair & skin’s true potential with 20% Off AquaTru Shower by using promo code SHBESTOFYOU (yes, the S-H is intentional) at AquaTru.com. *Some of the links above are Amazon affiliate links. If you choose to purchase through them, I may earn a small commission at no extra cost to you. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today's Scripture: Numbers 11:10–17There is a kind of exhaustion that comes from feeling responsible for too many people, emotions, needs, and outcomes. Today’s episode looks at Moses’ honest breaking point in Numbers 11 and the mercy of God’s response. God does not shame Moses for being overwhelmed. He gives him support. *The hidden exhaustion of over-responsibility*Why capable people often struggle to receive help*How survival strategies become burnout*Why limits are not a failure of love*The mercy of shared burden Go Deeper: Take the Family Roles quiz Connect with Dr. Alison on Instagram: @dralisoncook Join 80,000+ Soul Menders in Dr. Alison’s free email community for ongoing reflection and support. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today's Scripture: Mark 1:35–39 When everyone needs something from you, it can feel loving—even responsible—to respond immediately. But there is a difference between compassion and being controlled by demand. Today’s episode looks at Mark 1 and the surprising way Jesus responds when everyone is looking for him. He withdraws to pray, stays rooted in God, and moves from clarity instead of urgency. We explore: *Why over-functioning often starts with anxiety *What Jesus models instead *The difference between compassion and compulsion *Why solitude and prayer help with discernment *How to discern what is truly yours to carry today Go Deeper: Episode 138: Breaking Free from Over-Functioning: Discover the Hidden Cost of Always Being the Responsible One Connect with Dr. Alison on Instagram: @dralisoncook Join 80,000+ Soul Menders in Dr. Alison’s free email community for ongoing reflection and support. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today's Scripture: Psalm 46:1–7 When life feels unsteady, our bodies often know before our minds do. We tighten, scan, spiral, and reach for control—trying to make uncertainty disappear before we let ourselves rest. Today’s episode walks through Psalm 46 and the promise that God is not our escape from trouble, but our ever-present help in trouble. In this episode, we explore: *The difference between spiritual grounding and spiritual bypassing *What Psalm 46 teaches us about refuge, strength, and control *How to return to God’s presence when life feels unstable *One small embodied practice for finding steadiness today Go Deeper: Start reading about inner attachment, when you preorder The Secure Soul Connect with Dr. Alison on Instagram: @dralisoncook Join 80,000+ Soul Menders in Dr. Alison’s free email community for ongoing reflection and support. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today's Scripture: Colossians 3:12–15 Every morning, we get dressed before stepping into the world—but what are we wearing on the inside? In today’s episode, we reflect on Colossians 3. This isn’t about performing spiritual maturity or pretending hard feelings aren’t there. It’s about receiving the qualities of Christ deep within your own soul, so they can begin to shape how you show up for yourself and others. We explore: *How anxiety, resentment, shame, or defensiveness can become something you “wear” *Why identity comes before spiritual practice *How compassion and kindness are practiced (without bypassing what's hard) *A simple way to start your day Go Deeper: Preorder The Secure Soul now and get access to the first three chapters, plus my free masterclass, Healing the Wounds That Shape Us Connect with Dr. Alison on Instagram: @dralisoncook Join 80,000+ Soul Menders in Dr. Alison’s free email community for ongoing reflection and support. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What does it actually mean to raise an emotionally mature child? In this powerful conversation, Dr. Alison Cook sits down with renowned psychologist and bestselling author Dr. Lindsay C. Gibson, whose groundbreaking book "Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents" helped millions name what they didn’t receive growing up. Now, Dr. Gibson turns toward a new question: How do we become the kind of parents who help our children feel safe, seen, respected, and emotionally strong? Together, they explore the emotional foundation children truly need—not perfection, but presence. They unpack what emotional maturity looks like, the impact of being raised by an emotionally immature parent, and how we can begin to give our own children the kind of parenting they need. You’ll explore: The signs of an emotionally immature parent What a “good enough” parent actually looks like How repair builds trust more than perfection does The dance of balancing connection and autonomy  How to create emotional safety for your child Whether you’re parenting toddlers, teenagers, or adult children—or simply learning how to become more emotionally mature yourself—this conversation offers a hopeful, grounded framework for growth. Because healthy parenting isn’t about raising perfect kids. It’s about creating the kind of emotional soil where both you and your child can grow. More Resources: Order Dr. Lindsay’s new book, How to Raise an Emotionally Mature Child: Your Blueprint to a Lifetime of Happiness and Success for Your Child You can now preorder Dr. Alison’s newest book, The Secure Soul, and immediately receive the first 3 chapters as well as early access to the companion guide! Connect further with @dralisoncook on Instagram Curious what Family Role may have shaped you? Take the Family Role Quiz to learn how you may be showing up in your relationships with others. Want to hear more like this? Start here: Episode 175: A Game-Changing Toolkit to Help Kids Conquer Worry and Build Courage with David Thomas and Sissy Goff Episode 68: How Not to Lose Yourself—Remaining You While Raising Them with Alli Worthington 📖 Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here Don't forget to browse this week's sponsors, who make it possible for me to bring you these resources for free + provide you with additional discounts! Quince - How you dress affects your mood and you can trust that Quince has you covered in every day sustainable wardrobe staples. Go to ⁠Quince.com/bestofyou⁠ for 365-day returns, plus free shipping on your order! StoryWorth - Give your loved ones a unique keepsake you’ll all cherish for years—Storyworth Memoirs! Right now, save $10 or more during their Holiday sale when you go to StoryWorth.com/BESTOFYOU!  AirDoctor - Did you know the quality of oxygen you breathe affects your brain which in turn your thoughts? Eliminate 99.9% contaminants in your home with AirDoctor by visiting AirDoctorPro.com and use promo code BESTOFYOU to get UP TO $300 off today! *Some of the links above are Amazon affiliate links. If you choose to purchase through them, I may earn a small commission at no extra cost to you. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today's Scripture: 1 Samuel 3:1–10 Have you ever wondered if God was speaking, but you weren’t sure? In today’s episode, we look at the story of Samuel learning to recognize God’s voice. His story reminds us that discernment is not always instant clarity. Sometimes it begins with practice, humility, repetition, and the help of wise guides. We explore: *Why discernment often takes practice *How anxiety and urgency can masquerade as guidance *How your nervous system impacts your ability to listen *What Samuel teaches us about hearing God with humility and openness Go Deeper: Check out our weekly deep-dive episodes each Thursday on The Best of You Connect with Dr. Alison on Instagram: @dralisoncook Join 80,000+ Soul Menders in Dr. Alison’s free email community for ongoing reflection and support. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today's Scripture: John 2:1–11 What do you do when you’ve run out of energy, patience, joy, or capacity? In today’s episode, we look at Jesus’ first miracle at the wedding in Cana, where the wine runs out and Jesus quietly meets a hidden need. This passage offers a tender picture of a God who does not shame our lack, but meets us with dignity and generosity. We explore: *Why running out does not mean you’ve failed *How burnout shows up in your body and nervous system *Why honest naming can become a prayer *How Jesus meets hidden depletion before it becomes public shame *One small way to bring your burn-out to God today Go Deeper: Take the Family Roles quiz Connect with Dr. Alison on Instagram: @dralisoncook Join 80,000+ Soul Menders in Dr. Alison’s free email community for ongoing reflection and support. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today's Scripture: Psalm 8:1-9 Have you ever looked up at the sky and felt both small and strangely held? In this episode, Dr. Alison explores Psalm 8 and the healing power of wonder. We’ll look at how awe quiets the anxious ego, helps the nervous system soften, and reminds us that being small does not mean being insignificant. We explore: *Why awe helps interrupt anxiety and overcontrol *The difference between humility and self-erasure *How wonder restores your sense of belovedness *Why childlike faith begins with receiving, not striving Go Deeper: Episode 142: Digital Detox—Surprising Insights from 7 Screen-Free Weeks with Monks & Amish Farmers Featuring Carlos Whittaker Connect with Dr. Alison on Instagram: @dralisoncook Join 80,000+ Soul Menders in Dr. Alison’s free email community for ongoing reflection and support. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today's Scripture: Hebrews 10:24–25 **Today's devotional is in response to listener requests.** If you’ve ever heard “do not give up meeting together” and felt guilt rise in your body, this episode is for you. In today’s reflection on Hebrews 10:24–25, Dr. Alison offers a compassionate look at church hurt, spiritual community, and why this passage was never meant to be used as a weapon. We explore: *How church hurt and religious trauma can shape your nervous system *Signs of an unhealthy community *How to discern a healthy spiritual community *How to take slow, wise steps toward connection after religious harm Go Deeper: Episode 17: What is Church Hurt and How do I Heal? Episode 163: Healing Spiritual Wounds – Understanding Abuse in Faith Spaces with Rachael Clinton Chen Episode 153: Embodied Healing, Spiritual Trauma, and the Journey Home to Your Body with Dr. Hillary McBride Connect with Dr. Alison on Instagram: @dralisoncook Join 80,000+ Soul Menders in Dr. Alison’s free email community for ongoing reflection and support. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What if getting “triggered” isn’t the problem… but a signal? We all have moments where our body reacts fast—your heart races, your defenses go up, and suddenly you’re not responding from your wisest self. In this episode, Dr. Alison sits down with Dr. Kelly Flanagan to explore what’s really happening in those moments—and how to respond with more clarity, connection, and intention. Together, they unpack what’s happening behind reactivity and what it looks like to interrupt that cycle in real time. You’ll learn: Why being triggered is a normal nervous system response How to notice your reactions before they take over The difference between protection mode and connection mode How to set boundaries without escalating conflict Why an open heart leads to wiser—not weaker—boundaries If you’ve ever felt stuck in reactive patterns in your relationships, this conversation offers a grounded, compassionate way forward. More Resources: Order Dr. Kelly Flanagan’s new book, The Road Less Triggered. You can preorder Dr. Alison’s newest book, The Secure Soul, and immediately receive the first 3 chapters as well as early access to the companion guide! Connect further with @dralisoncook on Instagram Curious what Family Role may have shaped you? Take the Family Role Quiz to learn how you may be showing up in your relationships with others. Want to hear more like this? Start here: Episode 203: Staying Close When Connection Feels Hard: The Relationship Skills No One Has Taught You Episode 180: When People Push Your Buttons — The Power of Curiosity Over Control 📖 Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here Don't forget to browse this week's sponsors, who make it possible for me to bring you these resources for free + provide you with additional discounts! Quince - How you dress affects your mood and you can trust that Quince has you covered in every day sustainable wardrobe staples. Go to ⁠Quince.com/bestofyou⁠ for 365-day returns, plus free shipping on your order! Aqua Tru - Join 98% of customers who have made their drinking water cleaner, safer, & healthier by visiting AquaTru.com and use promo code BESTOFYOU to get 20% off today! StoryWorth - Give your loved ones a unique keepsake you’ll all cherish for years—Storyworth Memoirs! Right now, save $10 or more during their Holiday sale when you go to StoryWorth.com/BESTOFYOU!  MOSH - Head to moshlife.com/BESTOFYOU25 and subscribe today to get 25% OFF your first Variety Pack and 20% off your monthly subscription with code BESTOFYOU25. *Some of the links above are Amazon affiliate links. If you choose to purchase through them, I may earn a small commission at no extra cost to you. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today's Scripture: Ruth 1:16–18 What’s the difference between love that strengthens your soul and loyalty that slowly erases you? In today’s reflection on Ruth 1, Dr. Alison Cook explores Ruth’s freely chosen commitment to Naomi—and why healthy love never uses guilt, pressure, or control to make someone stay. This episode offers a nuanced look at staying, leaving, agency, and the kind of attachment that is faithful, honest, and free. We explore: *How to recognize the difference between chosen love and fear-based loyalty *Why Ruth’s commitment to Naomi is not a picture of codependency *How secure attachment gives people agency instead of trapping them *Why guilt-driven love can slowly lead to self-erasure *When staying can be rooted in freedom—and when leaving may be an act of wisdom Go Deeper: Start reading about inner attachment, when you preorder The Secure Soul Connect with Dr. Alison on Instagram: @dralisoncook Join 80,000+ Soul Menders in Dr. Alison’s free email community for ongoing reflection and support. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices