The Complete Guide to Everything

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It's our 200th episode, so Tim and Tom decide to celebrate by getting very self indulgent! This week we turn the focus of the show onto the show itself and tell a couple of very long, semi-interesting stories about how the show started and how a presumed stalker almost ruined it all. We also play a rare clip from our previous podcast that you've never heard! In a very special Tim and Tom Solve Your Problems we solve a particular problem that we've never quite faced bfore. And to top it off, Tom tells a story of a less than exciting encounter with a television prank show. This episode is brought to you by MailChimp, a great service that we use ourselves. Check it out at mailchimp.com.

This week's episode begins with the disappointment that Tim and Tom were unable to attend this year's Wrestlemania and the full intention of doing the episode about a different subject entirely before the power of Wrestlemania flat-out demands that they instead indeed talk almost exclusively about wrestling. Of course this means talking about the recent Hulk Hogan Uncensored at the Beacon Theatre that neither attended, a nearly screenplay accurate recounting of the Wrestling Buddies (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XllxxslzkGU) commercial and Tim's close encounter with a Murphy bed. Also discussed in depth this week: Tom's legacy as a two-term class president in high school and his attempts at recreating a wrestling fundraiser he and Tim both attended as young children where Jimmy "Superfly" Snuka screamed at him. This episode is brought to you by MailChimp, a great service that we use ourselves. Check it out at mailchimp.com.

This week, despite our stated policy of not discussing anything even vaguely religious, we talk about Easter, which apparently is a very important Christian holiday. Mostly we just talk about candy, including Tom's dangerous addiction to Cadbury Eggs. We also talk about a large scale, highly competitive Easter egg hunt from Tom's childhood, coordinated by a local creepy elderly couple. Most importantly, we discuss the very serious issues of getting lollipops at the bank, drinking beer with alcoholic ATMs and Tim announces his plans to take all his money out of the bank and keep it handcuffed to him at all times. This episode is brought to you by MailChimp, a great service that we use ourselves. Check it out atmailchimp.com.

This week Tim and Tom deliver a pre-taped episode recorded before their European tour which of course leads with an extensive conversation about the possibility of the episode being automatically released after their inevitable plane crash. Tim also has a lot of questions about the frail old man serving as Tom's personal butler for all of these years. Some of the many, many urban legends around Disney Theme Park that are addressed this week include the infamous Club 33, the parks' rules around long-hairs, whether or not anyone at the park has ever been pronounced dead on the premises, and some unusual requests in Walt Disney's will surrounding the first man to become pregnant and presumably isn't Arnold Schwarzenegger. Finally the guys solve a listener problem concerning a large VHS purchase recently made at a flea market, of course.

This week, seasoned subway riders Tim and Tom discuss the most appropriate behavior when traveling on the NYC subway system. Answering questions like "When is it appropriate to shame someone on the internet for sitting in a seat designated for the handicapped?" (which sends Tim into a rage), "When is it appropriate to bring furniture onto the subway?" and "Should I bring a large uncovered pot of soup onto the train?" we leave no stone unturned. Also, Tom talks about a man playing Misfits covers at 8 a.m., and we imagine what it would be like if everyone in America started eating frogs legs. Also, we solve a problem from a listener who has a friend that constantly talks about annoying stuff. This episode is brought to you by MailChimp, a great service that we use ourselves. Check it out at mailchimp.com.

This week we take on the thrilling subject of purchasing your food at the supermarket, a process that often confounds Tim and Tom despite that they are grown men in their 30s.  In this episode we talk about getting into altercations with experienced shoppers in supermarkets, the merits of leaving milk in the refrigerator until it solidifies for easier disposal, tricking your children into thinking your favorite cereal is health food, the many infurating new flavors of mayonnaise and the strange cases of Miracle Whip and Cool Whip. This episode is sponsored by MailChimp, a great service we use ourselves. Check it out at mailchimp.com.

This week we talk about Martial Arts, because we've both been endlessly fascinated by people punching and kicking each other. First, we recap our NYC live show and our experience at an open mic comedy night in which the comedian is a horrible racist. Then Tim talks about a Judo championship match he is attending because of the prospect of free beer, and Tom reminisces about being a teenager and studying the art of karate in a strip mall dojo alongside a sad man in his 30s. Then, we solve a problem from a listener who is dating a man considerably older than her. This week's episode is brought to you by MailChimp, a great service we use ourselves. Check it out at mailchimp.com.

Tim starts off by promising this will be an all karaoke episode but quickly loses interest and begins discussing the harmonies in Neil Young songs at detail instead. Instead the guys decide to do an all Tim and Tom Solve Your Problems to officially open the gates for listeners to send in their problems for the upcomingNew York City and European shows in March. The first problem is a follow-up from Terrence, who previously wrote in to complain about not being able to attract girls as easily now that he works for a non-profit. Now he wants to know how to make friends as a single man in his 30s. This of course leads to a discussion of old grizzled surfer guys, the time Tim did a 360 on a boogie board and the time he almost killed himself trying to surf. Tom explains the difference between wet suits and dry suits and Tim's parents buy a young Tim a custom-made bootleg Scottie Pippin jersey. Lastly Tim and Tom solve Katrina's problem concerning her male BFF systematically working his way through all of her friends' pants and Carolyn asks us to solve her problem concerning the return of The Office DVDs lent to a friend a long time ago.

This week we talk about the latest terrifying meteor and asteroid events that made us all think that we might possibly die suddenly and without warning at any time. We also discuss NASA's starting lack of telescopes, the difference between an asteroid and a meteor and why Fred Flintstone was kind of a jerk. Also, Tim tells a tale of an aggressive truck driver who might be tracking him down to do him harm, we announce a New York live show (March 1st at UCB East) and we hear from someone on the "inside" at McDonald's who we plan to get special information from. This week's episode is brought to you by MailChimp, a great service that we use ourselves. Check them out at www.mailchimp.com.

This week, we go further down the McDonald’s rabbit hole and discuss the strange case of the Arch Deluxe, a hamburger marketed towards adults, and how kids everywhere thought that this pepper- flavored burger might convince their parents to eat fast food seven nights a week. We also talk about the brief history of hot dogs at the Golden Arches, which were banned for being “unhygienic” and debate whether or not Chicken Selects are available across the United States. (By the way, if your local McDonald’s sells Chicken Selects, take a picture and send an email to [email protected] so that Tim can win his $1,000 bet with Tom.)We spend a good amount of time discussing this brilliant article posted on The Awl that dreams of a McWorld in Times Square that would provide a global McDonald’s experience. You should read it immediately: http://www.theawl.com/2013/01/giant-mcdonalds-times-squareAdditionally, we start off with some snow talk, debating the difference between a Snowmageddon and a Snowpocalypse while decrying the shoddy treatment of local TV weathermen whenever a B-list celebrity drops by.This episode is brought to you by MailChimp, a great service that we actually use for our newsletters. Check it out at mailchimp.com.

This week Tom receives more mail from the local cemetery and has a run-in with a conspiracy theorist on the subway, leading to a frank discussion about the Illuminati and immortality. Also Tim explains how he doesn't like people who love science, but wouldn't mind donating his body to it as long as he can make sure it isn't used to scare children after he's dead. On the subject of McDonalds the guys discuss promotional menus, "eating" a milkshake, Grilled Onion Chedder burgers, Fish McBites, McRib, Shamrock Shake, the origins of the McRib, Hulu burgers and Tim's run in with his McDonalds employee crush from 15 years ago. Before they wrap up they also take a moment to solve a problem with a woman who doesn't want her boyfriend asking her parents to marry her.

The BIG GAME is next week, and we're spending every waking moment preparing for it. After some initial confusion regarding the Super Bowl vs. Big Game Hunting, we talk about various foods found at Superbowl parties, Domino's Pizza foray into different types of food, the merits of having a party every Sunday evening, why Superman can't play in the Super Bowl, why Batman is a bad detective and debate whether or not an NFL player should be allowed to get a free pass to Disneyworld if it's possible that he was involved in a violent crime. We also announce the details of our upcoming tour in UK and Ireland and prepare to be shipwrecked on the way there. If you want more details on our tour, check out www.tcgte.com/tour. In a new installment of Tim and Tom Solve Your Problems, we tackle a question from a listener who is ashamed of his job working for a charity. This week's episode is brought to you by MailChimp. Check out their awesome service for free at mailchimp.com.

This week we recap the 2013 CES! Learn all about the latest gadgets and gizmos, as well as an old second rate Spencer's Gifts-style store in the local mall called Gadgets and Gizmos. Before the tech talk Tim goes over some of his favorite dangerous car bits and Tom gets a flu shot from a somewhat shady Chinatown doctor. Once the tech talkin' begins we go through The Verge's best of CES 2013 list and discuss this year's monstrous 4K TVs, convertible laptops, the Fitbit Flex, Oculus Rift virtual reality glasses, the Pebble smartwatch, Qualcomm's disastrous keynote presentation, Audi's self-driving cars and Microsoft's IllumiRoom technology which might just find itself in the Xbox 720. This week's sponsor is Mailchimp. Check out their awesome service for free atMailchimp.com and sign up for our Mailchimp-powered mailing list at TCGTE.com/mailing-list.

Everyone's getting the flu. Don't leave your home. If you must go out into the world, don't shake any hands or talk to anyone who isn't wearing a surgical mask. And for Pete's sake, don't kiss anyone on the mouth until at least April. Luckily Tim and Tom have managed to avoid getting sick so far. This week we discuss the flu epidemic, getting a flu shot (including Tim's experience with a bewitching pharmacist and an unruly customer) and telling your doctor to shut up.  We also resurrect the segment "A Particular Type of A**hole You Didn't Know Existed Until The New York Times Pointed Them Out To You" and disagree about who the titular a**hole is in this situation. And in a new installment of "Tim and Tom Solve Your Problems" we suspect the young lady seeking our advice is not being completely honest with us.

This week's episode is the first installment of our new series of Urban Legends themed episodes (which will appear monthly, or until we forget about them). This week we're talking about college. Are sorority houses illegal under some states' brothel laws? Do you get straight A's if your roommate commits suicide? Did some nerd win a car for reading the small print in a textbook? Do you really get 200 points on the SAT for spelling your name correctly? Tim and Tom get to the bottom of these questions and more, with the help of the extremely informative website snoops.biz. Also, we discuss mistakes we made on New Year's Eve and somehow get on the topic of Kindergarten Cop. In a new Tim and Tom Solve Your Problems, we help out a smart dude with a dumb co-worker. (There are Go-Karts involved.)

This week Tim has had enough of Christmas and would like you all to stop even though Christmas ended nearly a week ago. Also Tom becomes a member of a museum and feels pretty smug about it. In this episode the guys discuss the movies of 2012, including Sleepwalk with Me, Moonrise Kingdom, The Dark Knight Rises, The Avengers, Underworld, Red Tails, Chronicle, Ghost Rider, Wanderlust, A Thousand Words, 21 Jump Street, The Hunger Games, Cabin in the Woods, Dark Shadows, The Dictator, Battleship, Men in Black 3 and Life of Pi. It is important to note that neither Tim nor Tom have seen the majority of the movies discussed. Episode sponsored by Audible.com. Get a free audiobook by signing up for a free trial at tcgte.com/audible.

2012 was a crazy year in entertainment, what with all of those wacky celebrities getting into hilarious or tragic scrapes, that we decided to recap the year's biggest stories. We talk all about Jay-Z & Beyonce, Lindsay Lohan, Hulk Hogan, Amanda Bynes, Jessica Simpson and some other folks we don't really know much about to sort out what was hot in 2012. We also discuss our mixed feelings about the lack of an apocalypse this year and how we would hope the end of the world to play out.  Oh, and we also go over Tim's twitter "feud" with none other than 80s icon Richard Marx, who listened to our episode about him and took offense to many of Tim's comments.

This week Tim proposes all December holidays be boiled down into a 1 hour surprise celebration and Tom goes to a Richard Marx concert. We also discuss The Hobbit, commercial jingles, remarking when brothers look like each other, and Tom has trouble accepting that Regis Philbin isn't coming back. Additionally we solve a problem about a man's fear of flying. To consider donating to help the ongoing relief in some of the communities hardest hit by Hurricane Sandy please visit Respond and Rebuild at http://www.respondandrebuild.org Episode sponsored by Audible.com. Get a free audiobook by signing up for a free trial at tcgte.com/audible.

On a very special episode, we discuss two beloved Christmas specials: Emmet Otter's Jug Band Christmas and Frosty the Snowman. Of course, these conversations devolve into Tim's problems with the current state of the Muppets, his feelings about the problems with eight year olds today and an indictment of magicians in general. Also, we talk about the perils of doing hard drugs and sleeping under a bridge, and solve a problem from a listener involving taking sexy pictures of a lady to raise money for an engagement ring. This episode is brought to you by audible.com. Get a free audiobook and a 30-day trial today by signing up at www.tcgte.com/audible.

This week we cover the holiday TV specials: How The Grinch Stole Christmas, The Polar Express, A Charlie Brown Christmas, I Want a Dog for Christmas Charlie Brown, and The Star Wars Holiday Special. Also, we discuss leftover antibiotics, Tom has a furniture mover steal $0.25 from him, Tim describes his perfect piece of furniture, whether Alfred Hitchcock and The 3 Stooges are alive still, why Derek Jeter doesn't beat himself up over errors, misunderstanding Bea Arthur as a drag queen as a child, 50 Shades of Tim update and we solve a problem involving a grandson not wanting his grandpa to send him to space camp.

In this thrilling conclusion to last week's episode, we talk more about the experience of moving. Instead of complaining about movers, we complain about the insane world of New York City brokers and give some tips on how to deal with them. Also, Tom has a less than ideal trip to a sushi restaurant with his family and Tim comes up with a foolproof idea to prevent being murdered in your sleep. In a new installment of Tim and Tom Solve Your Problems, we get in the middle of a roommate-related love triangle.

Tom forgets the intro, we talk sweaters, cautious optimism for Girl Meets World, and an explanation of how terrible Tim and Tom were as teenagers before getting the main topic at hand: Moving. Tim and Tom discuss movers constantly dealing with the most stressed out people in the world, Tom's fascination with negative Yelp reviews for movers, movers nowadays all being skinny guys, Tim being duped into helping his movers move, counting money, and a barking dog problem is solved.

Earlier this week, the world heard the news that a new installment of a little-seen art house film from the 70s called Star Wars is in the works. The internet exploded with excitement at the prospect of a new sequel in a series that people absolutely hate exactly half of. In this episode, we talk about the upcoming Star Wars Episode VII, as well as the cult of Star Wars in general.  Also in this episode, Tom informs Tim of his legal obligation to always record the podcast while wearing a shirt, and Tim regrets giving Tom power of attorney. Also, Tom takes steroids for a week and gets unexpectedly emotional. Finally, we present a new installment of Fifty Shades of Tim, in which things really start getting gross.

It's been a week since our episode recorded right before Hurricane Sandy hit New York City. The good news is that this week we were able to be in the same physical space to record! The bad news is that Hurricane Sandy devastated our city. We discuss our own personal experiences during the storm (spoiler alert: neither of us were affected much more than mildly inconvenienced), the 24 hours news cycle making everyone think everything is over-hyped and Tim almost gets punched in the face while waiting in a long line for gasoline. Also Tom visits the Brooklyn Botanical Garden for the first time and discovers it's just full of horrible children. We also solve a listener problem concerning trick or treating as an adult/non-child.

This week we get completely interrupted by a Frankenstorm hurricane named Sandy. While many lesser podcasts would say, "Sorry everyone, we can't record this week." We said, "Sorry everyone, we can't record this week." and then did a Live Google+ Hangout anyway. If you really want to fully experience this episode you'll watch it on our YouTube page since there are a few visual jokes and the audio is kinda sorta terrible. However, we do discuss our new apartments, hurricane preparedness and not much else in this terrible fake episode.

This week we're talking extreme stunts. From Felix Baumgartner's extreme jumping out of a space capsule to David Blane's getting electrocuted by 1 million volts for 72 hours, October has been a month more extreme than most could even imagine. But are these extremes acts of heroics, or do they just require someone being stupid enough to try? Also this week a million-dollar idea for running a kissing brothel, Tim discusses trying to help out Greg Kinnear while sitting in the audience of Late Night with Conan O'Brien and instructions about how you could possibly win a $50,000 cash prize by coming to our live show in New York City at The PIT on November 16th! (Disclaimer: You can't.)

Hey, let's get down to business here. Week after week, Tim and Tom spend an hour talking about a bunch of nonsense that, frankly, isn't all that important. Well, all that is going to change this week. Finally, we sit down and talk about something of substance: the 2012 Presidential Election, the most important election of any of our lives. Of course, before getting into the issues, we talk about Tim's new health kick. Oh, and Tom getting slapped in the face on a subway. And also we talk a bit about a very interesting new costume he spent a lot of money on for Halloween this year. And then real quick we talk about DNA testing. But then, finally, we talk about the important issues of our day. Well, first we do another installment of the hot new segment Fifty Shades of Tim, in which things start getting pretty sleazy. After that, though, it's time for a brutally honest political conversation. Just as soon as Tim explains his idea for an explosive ending to our NYC live show on November 16th. So, listen to this episode for a frank discussion of the important issues of the day and then get out and vote!

October's the time for outdoor autumnal activities. In Tom's case that means traveling to Long Island to tour wineries, go pumpkin picking, visiting a corn maze and running into Arnold Schwarzenegger in Manhattan. In Tim's case that means going to the Bronx to walk around a cemetery at night with a bunch of elderly people, which of course leads to a debate about the reality Michael Jackson's Thriller video is set in. This week Tom recounts his recent trip to Chicago and the midwest for the first time ever where he discovers how big lakes can be (really big), the numerous ways entrepreneurs are ripping off the Chicago Cubs, and lazy facial hair. Also the guys solve a listener problem concerning what type of gift is appropriate for a new "fauxmance's" birthday.

Tim and Tom are seasoned concert-goers, and this week they share some of their experiences, tips and gripes about going to see some of today's hottest rock and roll outfits. In this episode, we talk mostly about Tom's experience at a charity concert featuring Neil Young and the Foo Fighters, and a Radiohead concert 12 years ago at which Tim and Tom became true friends. We also reflect on how we've each become the boring jerks at concerts we hated when we were teenagers and share tips for sneaking alcohol into shows and getting a refund at any concert you go to. In addition, we discuss Tom's hibernation habits and Tim's annual week-long stint at Math Camp.  Finally, in another installment of Tim and Tom Solve Your Problems, we tackle a situation in which a listener thinks his girlfriend is being hit on at work.

This week the guys decide to take a look at three products defining the future of technology: The iPhone 5, MakerBot and Google Glasses. Before anything of substance is discussed though some housekeeping takes place in the form of Tim being admonished for last week's episode and Steven Tyler leaving the show. Later Tim is compared to a low-rent Watson who can't wait an extra day for his iPhone 5 to arrive, followed by discussion of texting via morse code and the time Tim was stuck up in the crow's nest of a cruise ship. Moving onto MakerBot, Tim and Tom pitch the idea making robots with feelings so kids have someone else to bully before Tim reveals that he's actually owned a 3D printer since 1987. Can you use a MakerBot to make horrific weapons? Apparently. The episode is then wrapped up with by laying out the simple fact that Google Glasses are for assholes, and some action finally almost happens, sort of, on Fifty Shades of Tim.

On this week’s episode of The Complete Guide to Everything, we talk about the dating scene and go over some of the finer points of wooing a lady. Look, we realize it’s tough out there, finding a gal and convincing her to give you a shot, so naturally we consult the internet and go through the foolproof steps as outlined by wikihow.com. We should probably mention that Tim probably drank too much whiskey before we recorded, and talks about a number of things that should probably stay private, but since this episode was uploaded a day late (the reasons for which we discuss at length), we’re trudging ahead with the episode as is.In another installment of Fifty Shades of Tim, Tom describes another chapter of Fifty Shades of Grey in which things finally start getting hot and heavy in an elevator, prompting Tim to sing the hits of Aerosmith and reminisce about his time spent on Aerosmith’s Rock n’ Rollercoaster. We also solve a problem from a Bay Area woman who has some issues with a neighbor’s dogs in Tim and Tom Solve Your Problems.

Look, sometimes you want to do a podcast that will be informative and comprehensive, covering a topic in-depth and teaching the world a thing or two. And sometimes you'd rather discuss your feelings about former Family Feud host Richard Dawson and talk about carrying around a large stick of pepperoni in case you want a quick snack sometime. This week's episode falls into the latter category. In a freewheeling discussion, Tim and Tom talk about working in a butcher shop, lewd jokes made by game show hosts, the problem with American cheese and boat murders, among other things. Also, Tom has some complaints about the way he was treated when he went to get an eye exam. This week we also have another installment of our segment Fifty Shades of Tim, in which Tom explains Fifty Shades of Grey to Tim one chapter at a time, and we answer a listeners' question about a wedding gift in this week's Tim and Tom Solve Your Problems.

High concept experimental episode time! This week Tom bets Tim that if he watches 3 hand selected episodes of Doctor Who (Blink, The 11th Hour and Victory of the Daleks) he'd be bound to like it. Will he succumb? Well we're certainly not going to tell you here, that would be giving spoilers! Oh, also be careful for the end of this episode as it gives a bunch of spoilers for the first episode of Series 7: Asylum of the Daleks.

Have you all been following the latest celebrity gossip? No? That's okay, because this week Tim and Tom get you all caught up on what you need to know about the brightest stars in all of showbiz. From Snooki's new baby to Lance Armstrong's fall from grace, there is literally no other place on the internet to hear about celebrities and their exploits. One would think that a fertile topic like celebrity news would be well covered on various blogs and news sites, but we checked, and it turns out that this podcast is the only place to hear about it.  Well, actually, first Tim has some gripes about a fellow diner at a recent brunch and Tom has a story about some B-list celebs at a terrible product launch. But then we get right to the boldface names and deliver the Hollywood gossip you crave! Oh, actually before that we have another installment of our new segment "Fifty Shades of Tim," in which Tom explains the plot of a certain popular smutty book to Tim, two chapters at a time. But then it's time for some gossip!  But that's not all! In this super-sized episode, we answer a listener's query about a pot smoking father in our Peabody Award winning segment "Tim & Tom Solve Your Problems" and then reveal next week's topic and ask for your help in preparing for it.

We can all agree that one of the biggest fears in the civilized world is falling from an elevator right? This week in one of their rare times Tim and Tom actually saw each other outside the podcast, they found themselves stuck inside a berserk elevator that refused to let them out for 30 minutes, all the while toying with their fear of imminent death. This week Tom also discusses the many previously unknown widows he has, a frank discussion on the non-sexual feats that "doggy-style" should refer to and how easy it is to eat 40 Chicken McNuggets everyday when you're 17 years old. We also mark the first in many installments of a new segment titled 'Tom Explains Fifty Shades of Grey to Tim'.

Look, if you have any chance of getting ahead in this world, you're probably going to have to work for free for some jerks for a year or two, getting their coffee, opening their mail and, more often than not, kissing them on the mouth once or twice. In this episode, we share our internship experiences which should give you a good idea of how not to approach your own internships. Listen to hear Tim talk about the record label he interned at getting sold halfway through his work there, resulting in two months of fetching beer for sad people who were about to be unemployed. Also, Tom talks about possibly almost getting killed by the police during a misunderstanding on the set of America's Most Wanted. We also talk about how flirting with strangers on the subway is like playing the board game "Perfection", dirty movies that only involve kissing and we solve a listener's problem regarding making new friends as an adult. On next week's episode we'll be discussing the literary sensation and all-around pile of garbage, Fifty Shades of Grey. So if you want to follow along at home, be sure to pick up that book this week and give it a good, filthy reading.

This week we talk: Splitsider Podcast Network! Then we talk about Vampires, Draculas, Greek mythology, peaking at bar trivia night, Romania, finding out that vampire people don't like Twilight, Paul Simon's Graceland as a characterature of African music, Tim accuses Tom of being into vampires, Tom's cloak budget, vampires being the result of the internet not being around, erogenous zones, True Blood, elaborate nude puppets, using virgin boys and stallions to find vampires in a graveyard, shooting a bullet through a casket, severing tendons, guessing how horrible Romania is and full of sad ice cream trucks, putting a head between your butt, Casper never forgets, poppy seeds and sand and OCD, swamp things, un-undead, resistant cases, being afraid of someone choking on their own vomit and having to turn them over, making sure people don't become vampires and also not killing them, saxons just put a lemon in your mouth, burying Tim alive, why vampires can't come in unless you invite them, vampires are anxious, tasting your own blood, how hard it would be to put a stake through someone's heart, Tom names all the erogenous zones, crashing funerals with your dogs, a follow-up on Bozo the clown at the Williamsburg italian festival, Tim reveals his secret childhood desire to be a clown, a problem where a guy wants to move out to marry his girlfriend but is worried about what will happen to his roommate, before talking more about Splitsider.

Tom and a very sick Tim talk about the Olympics and naturally have a lot of questions about various events (mostly about the possibility of awarding medals to horses). Also, Tim talks chicken fingers and Tom reveals his past as an expert shotputter. There is a minor dispute regarding Summer Sanders and then we solve some listeners' problems.

A spoiler-free review of The Dark Knight Rises, how old is Alfred, a lesser IMAX, the problem with Baskin Robbins inside of Dunkin' Donuts, peeing during a movie, novelty home signs, a preview of The Complete Guide to Everything: After Dark with Algernon, Tim orders a breakfast wrap and learns that he's an old man, and a long, in-depth dissection of the New York Times' latest style piece about Williamsburg.

This week, we discuss the ins and outs of upcoming art film The Dark Knight Rises. Tom defends his Batman obsession to a skeptical Tim, and gushes over the new movie even though he hasn't seen it. We also go through some internet theories about the movie and discuss the possibility of making one's own utility belt. In addition, we talk about a street fair Tim recently went to and speculate about the private lives of dunk tank clowns and sausage vendors.

Old nerds, Tim's first podcast as a 7 year old, putting your seat back on an airplane, LA cab drivers, starting a cult, Disneyland and pronouncing Speed Demon correctly.

This week Tim and Tom learn a lot about singing sensation Carly Rae Jepsen, discuss the attractiveness of some of the characters on the Jetsons, and Tom talks about an experience at the ballpark. Then they break down the last 20 years of summer songs and realize that they are two, sad, out of touch men. Enjoy!

This week, our good friend comedian Dave Hill stops by to help us solve some listeners' problems, talk about Dave & Busters, get into philosophies about fighting and wow us by telling us about famous people whose phone numbers he has. Oh, and I think he mentions his new book once or twice, too. Buy Dave Hill's hilarious new book, Tasteful Nudes, available wherever amazing books are sold! Also, in this episode we very quickly explain the deal with our new mobile apps and the new Complete Guide to Everything Premium subscription. Get more information at www.tcgte.com/premium.

Part two of our incredible Summer Movie Preview! This week we put out a call for interns to join our growing empire, Tom questions Tim about licensing his stories for personal use, recording multiple episodes in a day Wheel of Fortune style, Tim loses at the Disney World version of 'Who Wants to be a Millionaire'. Also we discuss Rock of Ages, Summer of Cranston, arguing the historical relevance of the Titanic, Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter, an extensive role-play involving a hypothetical coffee shop situation, Brave, Ted, The Amazing Spiderman, Step Up Revolution, The Bourne Legacy. We also answer a question about air conditioning and electrical bills.

This week we talk about Tim's new duvet cover, share a few million dollar ideas like hologram hats and elementary school teachers dealing with hangovers. We cover the currently released Hollywood blockbusters like Battleship, Dark Shadows, Men in Black 3 and Prometheus. We also burn a few bridges with Will Smith and the movie Swingers and follow up everything with an argument for why Bill & Ted's Bogus Journey is the best sequel of all time. This week's episode is sponsored by Audible. Download this week's recommendation "The Princess Bride" or any other book for free at audibletrial.com/completeguide

This week, Tim and Tom dress in casual clothes instead of their usual tuxedos to discuss Tom's exhilarating day at Stunt School. Marvel at the tales of Tom's freefalls and encounter with an Amish man filming a reality television show! Gasp in amazement as Tim and Tom solve a problem involving an unwelcome houseguest! Also, we discuss a new endeavor for the show and talk about Richard Dawson's incredible tenure as host of Family Feud.

This week, Tim becomes a legitimate adult and reveals some facts about his life. Also, Tom eats some hamburgers as part of a ridiculous challenge and the two discuss people who have nicknames for names. Also, a new installment of Tim and Tom Solve Your Problems in which the guys solve a high school problem and deal with a domestic complaint.

This week Tim & Tom go to the music and food festival "The Great Googa Mooga" in Brooklyn and report about their findings regarding food, foodies, Hall & Oates, wine in a can, etc.

This week we talk about the kinds of creeps that give foot massages, Mother's Day, Tom's secret garden, tipping arguments, starting rival florists, Tom's heroics and irresponsibly spicy potato chips.