The Dating After Divorce Survival Guide™️
by Eric Payne
Eric Payne, a divorced dad and retired marriage & fatherhood blogger, tells the comedic tale of his "Chapter 2" — having to start life over brand new after a divorce he didn't want.What Does Starting Over Mean?Although "free” for the first time in 15 years, Eric has years of baggage and a stubborn desire to hold on to the past which initially keeps him stuck as he tries to move in a world way different than the one where he first met his ex-wife in the year 2000. From one-night stands to ghosting to online dating, to mental anguish and heartbreak to the self-care that is required of a 40+, divorced Black man and father in America, Eric tackles it all with fearless transparency, vulnerability, and a refreshing sense of humor — especially when it comes to making fun of himself. It's transparent, it’s raw, it’s funny, it’s messy, and it’s hopeful, but most of all it’s proof that second chances do in fact exist for us when life doesn’t go as planned. Tune in for the exploits, especially
Episodes
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People-Pleasing 101: The Prequel Part 3
People-pleasing begins very early. It's based on our innate desire for approval as children. It can also be observed in others, such as our parents, and learned through misguided understandings of religious dogma. Now, imagine treating as a superpower to deal with internalized trauma.it If left...
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Living In the Past and Stuck in the Present: The Prequel Part 2
If I could time travel, I wouldn't play the stock market. I'd show up at my high school locker to confront my former self. To comfort him. To warn him. I honestly would not. We often torture ourselves in the present for something we didn’t know or have the capacity to do differently in the past.…
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God Lives in the Ceiling, The Prequel Part 1
After a four-year break, we're back! Welcome to Season 5, "The Seasoning." Before I got grown and started losing grown-up things, I lost something more precious as a child — my sense of self. This is a prequel narration of sorts. My beginnings that led to Seasons 1-4 of the Dating After Divorce...
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Season 5 Trailer
Life Comes at You Fast, Stay Ready or Buckle Up After a nearly four-year hiatus, The Dating After Divorce Survival Guide™️ is back, revisiting the old and sharing the new on life and lessons learned from the wilderness of post-divorce, love, dating, parenting, living, grief, and growing. Season…
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After Paris: Real Life, Cuz Life Ain't Fair
The Season 4 Finale is here! Welcome to Episode 9 of Season 4 of the Dating After Divorce Survival Guide. Seasons change as do situations. Life is a mixed bag of peaks and valleys. The thing about life is that it isn’t fair and doesn’t care about what you’re going through or whatever relationship...
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After Paris: When the Past Sends You a Text
When the past sends you a text, you: respond happily and pick up where you left off. ignore it and possibly block them. run like the wind. break your phone, then change your number. Some of the above. None of the above. In Episode 8 of Season 4, the Past makes a surprise appearance in my life…
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After Paris: When You're Your Own Worst Enemy
Picking up where we left off at Episode 6: After a year of misses capped off by holiday heartache, I have an “aha” moment that leads me to create new boundaries, manage my expectations, and finally gain peace of mind as it relates to my ex-wife and all my relationships. But in almost the same...
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Thanksgiving, A Time to Be Grateful for It ALL!
Thanksgiving isn't about pilgrims for me. It's all about gratitude. In this short bonus episode, I reflect on what it means to be divorced and single during the holidays and why that isn't a bad thing. If you enjoyed the episode: Please subscribe and recommend this podcast to two people (2) who…
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From Paris to Atlanta: What If?
"What if?" is right up there with "Why?" as far as a question that has no real answers and honestly isn't worth asking to begin with unless discussing alternative realities and timelines in comic books. But that has never stopped anyone from asking this of themselves, especially when it comes to...
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From Paris to Atlanta: I Choose YOU!
"So, I typed a text to a girl I used to see/Sayin' that I chose this cutie pie with whom I wanna be...." André 3000 made a choice of with whom he wanted to be in his opening verse of Int'l Players Anthem. How many of us are choosing what we want versus going with what is right in front of us…
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From Paris to Atlanta: Pretty Isn't Everything & Dating Can Be Messy AF
Things don't always go as planned or envisioned. When this happens what do you do? Do you run away or do you stand and see your way through the mess? I experience this in grand fashion during Episode Four of Season Four. Things start off calmly enough with me trying to meet up in person with The...
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From Paris to Atlanta: Dad, You Can’t Date!
In this installment of the Dating After Divorce Survival Guide, my family life and my dating life begin to intersect. My youngest is older and has some pretty strong opinions on how her mother and I should be conducting ourselves as single, dating people. I call the woman who was Dressed In All...
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Dating In My Forties
This is a bonus episode, y'all! I wrote an article over at Medium and was encouraged to narrate it as well. Of course, that meant I had to share with all of you. I'll tease the content here but for the full transcript, visit www.medium.com/@ericPayne TRANSCRIPT: Dating In My Forties, by Eric…
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From Paris to Atlanta: Dressed in ALL BLACK Like the Omen
You have to be old enough to have seen The Omen AND current enough (if you call the 90s current) to remember Lil’ Kim’s iconic line in “All About the Benjamins” to catch the reference I’m dropping here. Episode 2 of Season 4 of The Dating After Divorce Survival Guide continues with the ongoing my...
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Season 4: Episode 2 Teaser Trailer
The saga continues as I plot and plod my way through life after saying "goodbye" to forbidden love. While attending a birthday party I cross paths with my past but stumble upon something new. I push past my fear and shoot my shot, sort of. If you're new to this podcast, thank you for visiting and…
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From Paris to Atlanta with Malice and a 10-Piece Bucket of Drama
We're back like we never left! By we, I mean me because I really don't speak in the third person. Season Four kicks off with literally everything that could go wrong going full-speed into Wrong-Ville and Drama Town with a whole lot of texting and not enough talking, but along the way I discover...
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The Season 4 Trailer: Growing, Living, Loving, Freeing
"All my time has been focused on my freedom now. Why would I join 'em when I know that I can beat 'em now? They put their words on me, and they can eat 'em now…" Ms. Lauryn Hill has the right idea on the new track, NOBODY where she spits facts about her growth alongside Nas. There is nothing more...
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The Lessons From The Messes
The Dating After Divorce Survival Guide is a serial podcast that thoughtfully and often hilariously narrates the journey of retired fatherhood blogger Eric Payne as he navigates the challenges of "starting over" after divorce. From one-night stands to ghosting to online dating, to mental anguish...
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Love, Rain, Kings, and Queens
Acting on your emotions always feels good in the moment but rarely works out in the long run. Your host, Eric Payne, a.k.a. the Divorced Dillenger puts both his feet in a pile of you know what when he casts care to the wind (based on the events of Episode 5: A New Orleans Ghost Story) and...
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Revenge Sex and a Brown Paper Bag
"Revenge is mine!" sayeth the Lord. Revenge may look cool and might seem like a good idea in the movies when the hero goes for broke to even the odds. But that’s the movies. In real life, not so much. Revenge sex (not to be confused with make-up sex) is an even worse idea. But that doesn’t stop…
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A New Orleans Ghost Story
Episode 5 is a ghost story, or should I say a story of ghosting, just in time for the 2018 holiday season. It's a tale filled with hope, mentorship, and an ending that couldn't have been expected but perhaps anticipated. The outcome of this story will set in motion a series of decisions and…
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People Pleasing, Being Alone and Living In Denial
Moving right along from Episode 3 and just in time for Valentine's Day (if you haven't listened to it start there, actually just start at Season 1 because this is a story, not a podcast made up of standalone episodes)! It's the holidays and yours truly, Eric Payne, The Divorced Dillinger, travels...
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Dating An Older Man With Small Money
Fresh off my Instagram hunt from Episode 2 of Season 3 of The Dating After Divorce Survival Guide, Episode 3 begins with a reunion (finally!) with C-Sweet Lady. Before it's all over I will have contemplated outrunning a cheetah, I transform like Optimus Prime and bravely set myself up to get...
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Finding Love on Instagram
Fresh of the Birthday Debacle from Episode One, the Divorced Dillenger (Yours Truly) is coming to grips once again with being single and not wanting to just "mingle" if you get what I'm saying. So what do I do to create a love connection? I go to "The Gram!" Oh boy... Episode topics: Instagram…
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Forgiveness Is A Process
And we’re back! Season 3 of The Dating After Divorce Survival Guide opens with me returning to Atlanta from my Labor Day Weekend love fest in New York City with a pep in my step and my nose wide open. But that post-coitus shine is quickly dulled by a couple of run-ins with the ex-wife. But the...
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Season 3: More Than Dating. More Than Divorce. More Than Survival.
New logo. New season. New misadventures and adventures for divorced dad, Eric Payne as he navigates post-divorce life and dating along with a good old healthy dose of self-awareness. In Season 3, Eric deals with: acceptance true forgiveness lust versus love the power of rejection knowing better…
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Happy New Year 2021, Bye 2020!
2020 is officially behind us now (GTFOH). Although currently, the only difference between 2020 and 2021 is one day, that is in fact the gift. You have TODAY. Then tomorrow you will have TODAY. And so on. Decide today to BE different, to BE better, to LIVE a purpose-filled life, and to do so on…
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One-Time for the Birthday: The Dating After Divorce Survival Guide Turns One! 🎉
Pimpin' ain't easy and neither is podcasting! It's been exactly one year and 37 episodes since I dropped the first trailer for The Dating After Divorce Survival Guide, and what a ride it has been! Listen in for a very special Happy Birthday bonus episode where I go behind the scenes of the…
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C-Sweet Lady, Can It Be All So Simple?
In the conclusion of two-part Season 2 finale of The Dating After Divorce Survival Guide, everything comes full circle for Eric on his journey — he's discovered someone he wants to build a relationship with and he comes face to face with his past. What remains to be seen is if he can make it work...
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C-Sweet Lady, Won't You Be Mine?
Ready and willing for a change, in the Season 2 Finale of the Dating After Divorce Survival Guide, I leave town and head to the Big Apple to spend time with an old acquaintance/coworker and together we explore new territory. Be sure to listen to until the end for fan tributes and a very special...
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That Pull-Out Game Weak
Too much of anything, no matter how good it is, can become a bit much. In Episode Nine (That Pull-Out Game Weak) of the second season of The Dating After Divorce Survival Guide Eric is weary from hopping around from woman to woman and tries his hand a dating again. Before it's all over he gets...
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That Vitamin D For Ya
Episode Eight of the second season of The Dating After Divorce Survival Guide finds Eric off whatever high horse he was on and giving in to his sexual urges without remorse or concern that he is ruining his life as a Christian. He doesn't hold back and as he discovers that living a carefree and...
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That Joy and Pain — Those Soul Ties and Ho Cake
Post-divorce trauma is real and it can show up in more than one place. Eric is not okay. Picking up where we left off at Episode 5, Episode 7: Joy and Pain — Soul Ties and Ho Cake packs a punch that hits: Putting your ex-wife on Do Not Disturb HBCUs Creating a spreadsheet to evaluate prospective...
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Black Like Me
Welcome to a special edition of The Dating After Divorce Survival Guide. I was personally impacted by the death of Rayshard Brooks as it occurred mere minutes from my house. In light of it being Juneteeth and with Father's Day 2020 only a couple days away I decided to break from the story line of...
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That Older, Married Woman
Eric has kept a trump card tucked away in his back pocket — a secret he doesn't even share with even his closest friends and his newly retained mentors who are helping him along his journey to new life post-divorce. It's something that give him brief pleasure but it is a source of great shame.…
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That Attack of the Killer Kung Fu News Lady
In Episode 4 Eric continues on his journey of life, love and pursuing peace and joy. His relationship with Newroom Reporter Lady forces him to discover what is the stuff of relationships — what makes them work and what doesn't. About the Podcast: The Dating After Divorce Survival Guide is a...
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Episode 4 Trailer: That Attack of the Killer Kung Fu News Lady
As Eric continues on his journey of life, love and pursuing peace and joy, he is forced to discover what is the stuff of relationships — what makes them work and what does not. About the Podcast: The Dating After Divorce Survival Guide is a biweekly, serial podcast that thoughtfully and often...
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That Dream and Those Nightmares
Eric's dating journey continues, but not without its challenges. He has to deal with his ex-wife texting him a whole lot more than he'd like, showing up late for dates, and learning what to share and what not to share when meeting new people ___________ Visit DatingAfterDivorceSoundtrack.com and...
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Episode 3 Trailer: That Dream and Nightmares
As much as you try to move forward with your life sometimes the past won't let go. Episode 3 arrives this Thursday, 05.07.2020.
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For the Love of Chocolate
Eric gains a very powerful ally along his quest to better manhood: the Black woman. In this episode, he extolls his love for them and why black women matter — reasons that go beyond the basics of love and companionship. But Eric is still new on his journey into middle-aged, single life. He is...
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Who Is The Dating After Divorce Survival Guide For?
In January of 2020, with the first season of The Dating After Divorce Survival Guide almost done, I was asked who I created the podcast for. The way I began my answer is not the way I finished it. Check out this short clip on what you get and why you get it when you subscribe to this bi-weekly...
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One Push-Up, One Sit-Up, One Pull-Up
The story picks up where we left off at the end of Season One. It's January 1, 2017 and Eric begins to come into his own as a single man. He has a high-visibility job and he realizes he has more time on his hands than he's had in over a decade. What he does with both become the key factors that...
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Season 2: Season of The Wolf
The road to Hell is paved with good intentions. Emotional pain pierces like small, constant drops of water. It's a dull beating that wears a path through you destroying everything in its path and leaving very little behind. Eric carries his pain as best he can — to the point of thinking he can…
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Monday Motivation: You Are WORTHY, A Guided Meditation
It's when things are most challenging that we begin to wonder why we are here or for that matter, do we matter? In today's Monday Motivation I share (for a limited time only) a guided meditation that I originally created based on affirmations I used to tell myself when I was going through the…
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Monday Motivation: Creating (Quality) Time for Yourself in the Time of Coronavirus
CORRECTION: The link mentioned at the end of the episode is incorrect see the corrected link below (before the dotted line). Today's Monday Motivation comes on a Tuesday. In this episode, I'm talking about creating quality time for ourselves now that we are in the Time of Coronavirus. Depending…
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Monday Motivation: #NeverSettle (Even During Quarantine)
"Never Settle" is Eric’s personal mantra and he shares why now especially, during the Time of Coronavirus (COVID-19) and #ClubQuarantine it’s more important than ever to never settle in the following areas: in life in work in love If it turns out you have been settling, Eric offers suggestions on...
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Monday Motivation: How To Beat The Coronavirus Blues
So here we are in the midst of a pandemic that has been months in the making, but took only a week's worth of media and peer pressure to turn life upside down here in the U.S. If you're home like I am take a listen and get your week started off right with some insights and tips on how to beat the...
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Monday Motivation: Time Heals All Wounds
Welcome to Motivational Mondays 3.09.2020: Time does heal all wounds. This is probably the last thing you want to hear when you're at the start or in the middle of a thing that is challenging you, but if you ever want to get to finish it, or avoid repeating it, time is what you will have to trust...
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Monday Motivation: Tell YOUR Truth
Here is your Monday Motivation, because it's Monday, somewhere. Welcome to a new segment, not to be confused with the new season of the Dating After Divorce Survival Guide. This week let's take a look at telling the truth. Telling the truth, no matter what the situation, can often be a scary…
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D.R.E.A.M. (Dating Rules Everything Around Me - But Should It?)
In this, the Season One Finale, the highs and lows and straight up ridiculousness of single life begin to take their toll on Eric. The pain is REAL! Instead of being in love and being at peace, he finds himself emotionally drained, conflicted, and angry and confused as to what it is exactly he is...
About this show
Eric Payne, a divorced dad and retired marriage & fatherhood blogger, tells the comedic tale of his "Chapter 2" — having to start life over brand new after a divorce he didn't want.What Does Starting Over Mean?Although "free” for the first time in 15 years, Eric has years of baggage and a stubborn desire to hold on to the past which initially keeps him stuck as he tries to move in a world way different than the one where he first met his ex-wife in the year 2000. From one-night stands to ghosting to online dating, to mental anguish and heartbreak to the self-care that is required of a 40+, divorced Black man and father in America, Eric tackles it all with fearless transparency, vulnerability, and a refreshing sense of humor — especially when it comes to making fun of himself. It's transparent, it’s raw, it’s funny, it’s messy, and it’s hopeful, but most of all it’s proof that second chances do in fact exist for us when life doesn’t go as planned. Tune in for the exploits, especially
Hosted by
Eric Payne
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