THE DAVE LONGLEY BREAKFAST SHOW podcast artwork

PODCAST · comedy

THE DAVE LONGLEY BREAKFAST SHOW

The Dave Longley Breakfast Show is here to give you the wake up you need. All the travel, weather, commentary and phone in chat you need to start the day.

Publisher-supplied feed metadata · PodParley refreshed Mar 19, 2026 · Source feed

  1. 41

    Episode 81 - The Winter Paralympics

    Sign up the patreon you cheap bitch. £2 a month.  Jesus 

  2. 40

    Episode 80 - Don't knock it until you've tried it

    This is the longest free episode we have done in a while so enjoy it! Also, why not be a dear and sign up to the patreon! It is only £2 and it really supports the podcast to keep going. The personal toll has been greater than the financial toll if I'm honest, so when people sign up for the measly amount of £2 it goes some way to making the emotional damage less impactful.  It means that it's worth it. That there are people who appreciate what we are putting out and it makes it worthwhile. So, have a heart. 

  3. 39

    Episode 79 - How to make money on OnlyFans!

    Hi! If you would like to listen to the whole podcast then please sign up to the Patreon! It's very cheap and you are supporting the arts! love you!

  4. 38

    Episode 77 - Viva La Beaver

    Beaver fever has taken over the breakfast show! This is just a preview. Full episode available on patreon for the small price of just £2 a month! We aren't living under communism ffs. 

  5. 37

    Episode 76 - It's Brian's Birthday!!

    FULL episodes only on Patreon. This is merely a preview. SIGN UP!  The Dave Longley Breakfast Show on Patreon Don't be tight. Just £2 a month!

  6. 36

    Episode 75 - HIV and Comedy update!

    As so many people have been asking, a little update on Dave's HIV status and his comedy career.  FULL episode is available ONLY on the Patreon, so go over to The Dave Longley Breakfast Show on Patreon and sign up for just £2 a month!

  7. 35

    Episode 74 - Do looks mater?

    Is beauty skin deep? We are taking calls and reading comments about whether or not looks really matter. Reginald, Emperor Naruhito and Jagpesh give us their takes, but we don't just have opinion and commentary! We have the news with Monty Astor, cooking with Pete O'Foyle, travel, weather and of course FGM of the week!   Full episodes available on patreon!

  8. 34

    Episode 73 - Who will be outed as a wrong'un in 2026?

    This is a short preview. Full episode available on the patreon! Sign up please for just £2 a month! It's a bargain and we don't live under communism. 

  9. 33

    Episode 72 - New Year's Resolutions

    Go over to The Dave Longley Breakfast Show on Patreon and sign up for just £2 a month!  Support your local podcaster!

  10. 32

    Episode 71 - Christmas Day Special

    SIGN UP TO THE PATREON TO LISTEN TO FULL EPISODES YOU NONCE

  11. 31

    Episode 70 - F*ck Donkeys

    Sign up to the Patreon for the full episode!

  12. 30

    Episode 69 - Mutual Oral Pleasure

    Full episode on Patreon only! Sign up and get involved. 

  13. 29

    Episode 67 - Middle lane hoggers (and other little things which annoy you...)

    Got to Patreon DOT COM and sign up. You can listen to the episode through your favourite podcast provider. It's a bit of setting up but it's DEAD easy.  Support the podcast! 

  14. 28

    PREVIEW! Episode 65 - Get if off our chest! - Full episode on Patreon

    Taking YOUR calls about what YOU want to talk about! This is the ten minute preview of the episode. Full episodes and bonus animated comment available only on Patreon for the paltry sum of £2 a month.  Don't be tight!

  15. 27

    Episode 63 - God Bless the NHS

    Taking calls and reading comments about the best of Britain: the NHS! The NHS might be free but full episodes of this podcast aren't! If you like things pushed to the point of bad taste, get some skin in the game and sign up. It's only £2 on Patreon and you get to feel like you're doing something goof by supporting something so naughty.  I love you. 

  16. 26

    Episode 62 - Is it better to forgive than relieve?

    Forgiveness!! What's that all about? This is a fifteen minute preview of the one hour and twenty-five minute episode. Please support the podcast and get access to all the full length episodes by signing up to the patreon! Dave Longley Breakfast Show on Patreon. I'd provide a link but Podbean won't allow it. It's dead quick and you can then listen to the podcast through your favourite app. 

  17. 25

    Episode 61 - in AIDS of Charity

    Talking about charity!  This is a taster of the full podcast which you can access for just £2 a month via patreon! Don't be a tight cunt. 

  18. 24

    Episode 59 - The UK Squirting Championships Tragedy

    A more sombre episode than normal. To listen to the whole thing, please sign up to my Patreon at THE DAVE LONGLEY BREAKFAST SHOW. Just 50p per episode which is fuck all ffs

  19. 23

    Episode 57 - Remember when?

    A lovely trip down memory lane!  Why not sign up the Dave Longley Breakfast Show Patreon? It is a measly £2 and helps me buy badly need equipment and clean drinking water

  20. 22

    Episode 55 - Health!

    Taking your calls on the topic of health!!  Full episodes on the Dave Longley Breakfast Show Patreon 

  21. 21

    Episode 54 - The cultural enrichment of public defecation

    Taking YOUR calls on this enticing topic!  This is a short preview of the full podcast. To enjoy the full depravity, you need to have some skin in the game.  Just £2 a month and you can listen to something you can't tell anyone else about. You coward. 

  22. 20

    Episode 53 - Is punching down in comedy okay?

    Is it ever OK to make fun of those less fortunate than ourselves? We are taking YOUR calls in order to discuss this tricky moral issue. PLUS!!! All your travel and weather, not to mention reading your comments! 10 minutes free, then you have to get some skin in teh game. £2 a month isn't much so don't be tight. 

  23. 19
  24. 18

    Episode 51 - Embarrassing stories

    Taking YOUR calls and reading YOUR comments about all those embarrassing moments in life that you'd rather forget!  Featuring Radio 4, suicide bombers, Tom Binns, constipation, seppuku, double murder and The Krankies. PLUS!! All your travel and weather for the region.    Full episode on the Patreon which is just £2 a month. Sign up and become culpable. 

  25. 17

    Episode 50 - Shoplifting

    Taking YOUR calls on the sticky topic of shoplifting! Turkish ambassador Memet Yama calls in to complain about British tourists, Weird Wally gives us his thoughts and Jenny gives us the perspective of a security guard.    Full episode on the patreon for reasons that will become obvious once you've signed up. Don't be tight. 

  26. 16

    Episode 48 - BACK ON THE AIR!

    Back where I belong! Taking YOUR calls and reading YOUR comments on the topic of HIV! How can we all be positive and how can we remove stigma. PLUS!! Travel and weather! DOUBLE PLUS!! FGM of the week!!  Full episode only on the patreon for reasons that should be obvious. Just £2 a month which is incredibly cheap and why not be supportive instead of cheap?

  27. 15

    Episode 47 - Vera Lynn with HIV singing in Khosian

    Full episodes (over 45 mins long usually) only on the Patreon because you need to have skin in the game to get the good filth.    Sign up, sign in, sign on and come on (my tits) 

  28. 14

    Episode 46 - The upside of being positive

    THIS IS NOT THE FULL EPISODE. To the listen to the full hour long episode, stop being a tight shit and sign uyp to the patreon for just £2 a month. Dead simple and you can listen wherever the fuck you like.   

  29. 13

    Episode 45 - The fascinating taxonomy of coconuts

    Sign up to the patreon to listen to the full episode. Support you local podcaster, get some skin in the game. It's only £2 which is 50p an episode which is nothing. Jesus. Don't make me beg. 

  30. 12

    Episode 44 - The consequences of making delicious faggots

    Dave pays the price for being on Live at the Apollo. Reginald takes a trip down memory lane, Emperor Naruhito seeks clarification on certain technical terms and the Concerned Comedians Collective makes it's presence felt.  Full episodes are now only on the patreon because this isn't communism and it's just me and it takes loads of work and oh god please love me. My Dad didn't love me. 

  31. 11

    Episode 43 - Meatballs made from minced off cuts and offal mixed with herbs

    Dave turns heads at the BBC with his stand up comedy resulting in a search for faggots. To listen to the FULL episode please sign up to the Patreon. It only takes a few moments and then you can listen to the full episode where a new world record is set. It only costs £2 a month and you get little extras like hand relief and topless photos.  This isn't two cunts chatting and laughing at each other. Put some respect on my name (with £2 pretty please I'll love you long time sucky sucky) 

  32. 10

    Episode 42 - What do we say to the God of Death?

    Dave tries comedy therapy and becomes the talk of the grapevine, gets cold called by a comedy mentor and is further comedy coached by Ben.  Sign up to the patreon to listen to the full, deeply offensive episode. It is only two english pounds which is nothing really. Don't give it to a charity that just hands the money over to a war lord. Give it to me. A war lord. 

  33. 9

    Episode 40 - Man's Best Friend

    David gets a call which enables him to talk publicly about dogs with Brian, a prize is given, tears are shed and Ben Silversmith calls to offer Dave some Comedy Therapy.  To listen to the full episode, please sign up to the Patreon and get some skin in the game. 

  34. 8

    Episode 38 - VD Day: Victory in Derby

    After eating one ton of Japanese rice, the rats launch an all out assault on Gill Convenience Store after a terrorist attack. Jagpesh and Dave are the only ones there to defend the onslaught, but it is only Wong who can save the day.    Sign up to the patreon to listen to the full episode. Don't make it awkward. 

  35. 7

    Episode 37 - Selective dementia and something else I can't remember

    Brian can't remember, an unwelcome leaving gift, 12 packs of butter and a driving mosque. Full episodes are now only available on the Patreon. Signing up is very quick and each episode works out to about 50 pence.  The Dave Longley Breakfast Show on Patreon for all the goodness! I love you? Does that help? 

  36. 6

    Episode 36 - Six tons of Japanese rice and a floppy wand

    Reminiscing, an unexpected delivery, arguing with an emperor, meowing ingredients and sourcing balloons for the North West's premier children's entertainer.  For the full episode head over to my Patreon (Dave Longley Breakfast Show Patreon on google)  Skin in the game means you get more of what you love and it helps keep the lights on

  37. 5

    Episode 35 - Posters in the window

    Rubbing it through a sari, BBC test Dave, the recent ruling, 6 tons of rice and Roy 'Chubby' Brown

  38. 4

    Episode 34 - Pissing in condensed milk AKA a pint of c*m and a packet of digestives

    Dave gives up on a micro penis, starts a new job, meets new brother and takes his first tentative steps back towards hosting his breakfast show again.  Full episode is 45 mins long, with the whole episode on the Patreon! That's right! It's not like I can tour this so gimme 50p for an episode FFS. The others have subsidised you long enough. This isn't Cuba. 

  39. 3

    Episode 33 - It's nice to catch up

    Brian is starving, Jenny phones up with an update about her race transition, Dave and Gurjit reconcile and Ben calls in asking for help turning a hobby into his profession.  The conversation with Ben is the entire reason most of this podcast is Patreon only! Sign up and get involved.  

  40. 2

    Episode 32 - The flapping of wings

    The extended version of this is on the Patreon which you should sign up to because you think this is free? You don't think it costs me? You tight fisted wank.  

  41. 1

    Episode 31 - Only if you push back...

    Headphones for this one. Sign up to the Patreon and help keep the lights on. Leave a review. Don't be a prick. 

Type above to search every episode's transcript for a word or phrase. Matches are scoped to this podcast.

Searching…

We're indexing this podcast's transcripts for the first time — this can take a minute or two. We'll show results as soon as they're ready.

No matches for "" in this podcast's transcripts.

Showing of matches

No topics indexed yet for this podcast.

Loading reviews...

ABOUT THIS SHOW

The Dave Longley Breakfast Show is here to give you the wake up you need. All the travel, weather, commentary and phone in chat you need to start the day.

HOSTED BY

Dave Longley

CATEGORIES

Frequently Asked Questions

How many episodes does THE DAVE LONGLEY BREAKFAST SHOW have?

THE DAVE LONGLEY BREAKFAST SHOW currently has 41 episodes available on PodParley. New episodes are automatically indexed when they're published to the podcast feed.

What is THE DAVE LONGLEY BREAKFAST SHOW about?

The Dave Longley Breakfast Show is here to give you the wake up you need. All the travel, weather, commentary and phone in chat you need to start the day.

How often does THE DAVE LONGLEY BREAKFAST SHOW release new episodes?

THE DAVE LONGLEY BREAKFAST SHOW has 41 episodes. Check the episode list to see recent publication dates and frequency.

Where can I listen to THE DAVE LONGLEY BREAKFAST SHOW?

You can listen to THE DAVE LONGLEY BREAKFAST SHOW on PodParley by clicking any episode. We provide an embedded audio player for direct listening, and you can also subscribe via your preferred podcast app using the RSS feed.

Who hosts THE DAVE LONGLEY BREAKFAST SHOW?

THE DAVE LONGLEY BREAKFAST SHOW is created and hosted by Dave Longley.
URL copied to clipboard!