The Death of Comedy

 (Air Date: 10/26/2024) "When Nuggets realizes he's tried everything to find love short of becoming a billionaire, he forges a financial empire, promising to make his billionaire backers trillionaires. Meanwhile, Bao's attempts to become a billionaire lead him to become a paid escort. Will Nuggets find love? Will Bao find money? And will trillions be enough to make those poor robber barons happy?" Guest Actor: David Faber   Sketches: Melvin Tyler: Homicidal Pants Salesman (15:07)* The Ten Commandments (16:08)*   Music: "All Apologies" was performed by Nirvana from their 1993 album Unplugged in New York. "Sirius" (The Chicago Bulls Theme Song) was performed by The Alan Parsons Project on their 1982 album, Eye in the Sky. Music from the 1956 film,"The Ten Commandments," was written by Bernard Hermann, which Warner Brothers distributed, and its soundtrack was produced by Trax Music.   *Written by Michael J Grady

 (Air Date: Too Hot To Air) Lost at sea with a small crew and supplies running out, Bao and Nuggets debate about how they can best serve their crew and who to eat first. Guest Actors: David Faber and Mary-Ashley Medeiros Sketches: "Surprise Party" (13;23)* "Ringtones" (21:38)* "Polygraph Interrogation" (21:55)* Music: "Cannibal" was performed by Kesha, from her 2010 EP "Cannibal," and was produced by RCA "Eat Me!" was performed by Ozzy Ozzborne from his 202 album "Ordinary Man" and was produced by Epic. "Fantasia on a Theme by Thomas Tallis" from the 2003 soundtrack to "Master and Commander" was composed by Ralph Vaughan Williams, and produced by MTC. "Haul Away Joe" was performed by The Longest Johns, from their self-produced 2018 album "Between the Wind and Weather." "She Drives Me Crazy" was performed by The Fine Young Cannibals, from their 1988 album, The Raw and the Cooked, produced by IRS Records. * Written by Michael J Grady

My key takeaways from reading Thucydides: Even when there are a hundred sides to an argument, every single one delivers a rousing speech. For every prophet who turns out to be right, there's another shouting from the opposite street corner who wasn’t. The names and places get so dense and relentless, it’s impossible not to start making up your own meanings. This piece is inspired by the moments I got hopelessly lost trying to translate Thucydides—from English into… whatever language it is I actually speak. This sketch was never aired. I never could find the right place for it. 

When an unscrupulous businessman purchases a super-intelligent thinking machine the only thing that stands between the entrepreneur and his destructive ambitions is the computer's moral safeguards.  ALL MUSIC COURTESY OF FREE MUSIC ARCHIVE:  "Wave" by Viscio from the album Xiok. "Son Regard" by FMA. "Immovability" by Audio Recount from the album Rise Against. "Sedative" by Anemoia from the album Sedative. "The Final Breath" and "Heartbeat" from Kirk Osamayo, from the album Season Two.

When a grammar bot becomes self-aware it seeks to eliminate human errors by eliminating humans.  Music::  "Death" by Johan Lind, courtesy of Epidemic of Sound. 

(Originally Aired: 12/09/20) "After entering the wrong room to change his clothes on a college campus, Nuggets gets cancelled." All sketches performed by Michael J. Grady AKA “MC Nuggets” and Nat Jacob (formerly known as "Name Redacted") AKA “DJ Boa Ze.” Additional Actors: Frank Iuro, Ramon Dailey, and Mary-Ashley Medeiros Sketches: HUJC (10:48)* Bully For You (12:05)* Trojan Rats (18:32)* The President's New Suit (20:02)* Songs: "Every Breath You Take," originally performed by the Police, is covered here by Chase Holfelder, from the 2015 album, MAJOR TO MINOR, VOLUME ONE. "MySpace Girl," which appropriately came out in 2008, was performed by the Afters from the album NEVER GOING BACK TO OK, produced by Columbia Records. "Pepper" was performed by The Butthole Surfers from their 1996 album ELECTRICLARRYLAND, which was released by Reprise Records. * Written by Michael J Grady

(Originally aired 10/14/20) "To save money on their vacation, Bao and Nuggets go to an old, abandoned campground." All sketches performed by Michael J. Grady AKA “MC Nuggets” and Nat Jacob (formerly known as "Name Redacted") AKA “DJ Boa Ze.” Additional actors: Frank Iuro and Laura Ann Eggarichs Sketches:  Mundane Loathing (9:50)* Witching Hour (19:46)* Wind Ghosts (21:05)* Songs: "All You Need is Blood" was performed by Beatallica, from their 2008 self-titled album, which was produced by Oglio Records. "Dueling Banjos" was preformed by Whiteland and Mandell, from the 1973 Soundtrack to DELIVERANCE, which was produced by Warner Brothers Records. “He Only Takes Visa,” “Survivalist” and “Let’s Play Camp Blood” are three incidental tracks from the 1986 movie: FRIDAY THE THIRTEENTH, PART SIX, which were composed by Harry Manfredini. Distributed by Lala Land Records. Jake Sanderson’s “Bernard Herrmann-inspired Music” can be found on Youtube. “Lotion” was performed by The Greenskeepers, from their self-produced 2004 album, PLEACH.  “We’re Comin to Kill Ya” was performed by Zachariah and the Lobos Riders, from the soundtrack to DEAD AND BREAKFAST. * Written by Michael J Grady

(Originally Aired: 09/09/20) “Desperate to preserve his DNA, Nuggets goes to a sperm bank. When his recipient favors Bao, Nuggets must fight for his lineage, devolving into a Darwinian fight for survival in a test tube jungle.” All sketches performed by Michael J. Grady AKA “MC Nuggets” and Nat Jacob (formerly known as "Name Redacted") AKA “DJ Boa Ze.” Additional actors: Maggie Jo Bulkley and Sarah Chapman Sketches: Total Nuclear Annihilation (14:04)* That Was Rude (17:59)* 20 Questions (20:12)* Death Bed (21:03)* Songs: “Come on Eileen” was performed by Dexys Midnight Runners, from their album T00-RYE AYE and was produced by Mercury. "Princes of the Universe" was performed by Queen, from their 1986 Album A KIND OF MAGIC and was produced by EMI Records. "Sh-Boom Sh-Boom" was preformed by The Chords. It was released as a single in 1954 and produced by Cat Records. "The End" was performed by The Doors, from their self-titled, debut album, which was produced by Elektra "When I Was a Sperm I Had a Lot To Learn" was performed by Master Well and was released as a single in 1994. It was produced by Backbeat Records.   * Written by Michael J Grady Photo by Sam Farallon (Twitter: @farallono)

(Originally aired 08/17/20) "When things you don't do turn to do do, watch your step." All sketches performed by Michael J. Grady AKA “MC Nuggets” and Nat Jacob (formerly known as "Name Redacted") AKA “DJ Boa Ze.” Additional actor: Maggie Jo Bulkley Sketches: Guitar Solo (10:29)* An Abbreviated History (1546)* Flaccid Man (17:35)* Songs: "All The Small Things" was performed by Blink 182, from the album ENEMA OF THE STATE and was produced by MCA Records. "Epic" was preformed by Faith No More, from their 1990 album THE REAL THING and it was produced by Slash. "Leave That Thing Alone" was performed by Rush, from their album COUNTERPARTS, which was produced by Anthem. "One Thing Leads to Another" was performed by The Fixx, from their 1983 album REACH THE BEACH, which was produced by MCA Records. * Written by Michael J Grady Photo by Chien Nguyen Minh on Unsplash

(Originally aired 07/15/2020) "When Nuggets discovers that being mistaken for an enemy spy is good for his love life, he is forced to choose between proving his innocence and getting the girl." All sketches performed by Michael J. Grady AKA “MC Nuggets” and Nat Jacob (formerly known as "Name Redacted") AKA “DJ Boa Ze.” Additional Actors: Rose Burt and Maggie Jo Bulkley Sketches: The Emergency Fartcast System (21:17)* Depth and Maturity (15:19)* Naked Man vs. The Baffler (16:33)* Songs: "Carlotta's Portrait" was composed by Bernard Herrmann from the original soundtrack to the 1958 film, VERTIGO. "Carlotta Valdez" was performed by Harvey Danger from their 1997 album WHERE HAVE ALL THE MERRYMAKERS GONE?, which was produced by Arena Rock.  "Party in the CIA" written and performed by Wierd Al Yankovic, from his 2011 album, ALPOCALYPSE, which was produced by Volcano Records. "Secret Agent" was performed by Letters to Cleo from their 1998 album SISTER, which was produced by Wicked Disc. "Secret Agent Man" is performed by The Toasters, from their 1996 album, HARD BAND FOR DEAD, produced by Moon Ska Records. * Written by Michael J Grady

This is a never-before broadcast sketch, featuring Laura Anne Eggarichs. It has been repurposed and expanded into a forthcoming episode as a cold open. 

Don't listen to hoaxes! What you don't know about failing not to not smoke enough may kill you!

I think you know what I'm talking about. (Don't you?)

Naive Nila investigates a question that no adult wants to answer. What are they hiding?

This isn't the best version of The Ten Commandments, but at two minutes it's definitely the shortest.

A British Who's-On-First sketch, set in a loo.

(Originally aired: 01/23/19) "After Boa meets Nuggets' new sexbot a love triangle ensues." Additional Actors: Mary-Ashley Medeiros, Maggie Jo Bulkley and Ramon Dailey Sketches: Flaccid Man (15:30)* On the Dangers of Jock Holstering (10:10)* Songs: "Be My Girl - Sally" was written by Sting and was a track off of The Police's 1978 album "Outlandos d'Amour." "Get up (I Feel Like Being a) Sex Machine" written by Bobby Byrd, James Brown and Ronald R. Lenhoff was produced by KING and was released as a single in 1970.  "Terminator 2 (Main Title)" was composed by Brad Fiedel, from the 1991 film soundtrack, produced by BMI.  * Written by Michael J Grady

(Originally Aired: 12/12/18) "To flee the wrath of liberals offended by a soup sketch, Nuggets decides to have himself frozen." All sketches performed by Michael J. Grady AKA “MC Nuggets” and [NAME REDACTED] AKA “DJ Boa Ze.” Additional Actors: Daniel Fredrickson and Maggie Jo Bulkley Sketches: This Sketch Sucks* (10:58) American Obesity Association (21:49)+ Songs: "Central Scrutinizer" is from Frank Zappa's 1979 album JOE'S GARAGE, produced by Rykodisk. "Kung Fu Fighting" is from Carl Douglas's 1974 Album GAMBLIN' MAN, produced by Pye.  "Outside of a Small Circle of Friends" was from Phil Ochs 1966 album PLEASURES OF THE HARBOR, which was produced by A & M.  "Stuck in the Middle with You" is from Steeler's Wheel's self-titled 1972 album, produced by BMG. *Written by Michael J Grady + Written by Michael J Grady and [NAME REDACTED].

(Originally aired: 10/10/18) Under the weight of the current Administration's absurdity, a group of comedians lament the sudden passing of satire. Boa tries to convince a privatized fire department to save his burning house.  All sketches performed by Michael J. Grady AKA “MC Nuggets” and [NAME REDACTED] AKA “DJ Boa Ze.” Sketches: - ICBMs* (08:45) Additional Actors: Sarah Elizabeth Chapman and Maggie Jo Bulkley. Songs:  "Bound for the Floor" was performed by Local H, from their 1996 album AS GOOD AS DEAD and was produced by ISLAND. "Burnin' Down the House" is covered here by Tom Jones and the Cardigans, from his 1999 album RELOAD and was produced by GUT/V2. Written by Michael J Grady

(Originally aired: July 25, 2018) Nuggets doesn't know what scares him more: how vulnerable humankind is to the flesh-eating lizards living among them, or the complete lack of evidence for their existence.  All sketches performed by Michael J. Grady AKA “MC Nuggets” and [NAME REDACTED] AKA “DJ Boa Ze.” Sketches: Alien Attack* (04:05) A Lone Futhermucka* (10:41) Opposite Day* (07:08) Humanitarians* (13:27) Additional Actors: Sarah Elizabeth Chapman, Mary-Ashley Medeiros, Daniel Fredrickson, David Faber Music: The Theme from THE DAY THE EARTH STOOD STILL and incidental music from THE TWILIGHT ZONE scored by Bernard Herrmann. *Written by Michael J Grady

(Originally Aired 05/23/18) No time to write. No time to edit. So we stitched a few sketches together (including some previously unaired) and called it a show!  All sketches performed by Michael J. Grady AKA “MC Nuggets” and [NAME REDACTED] AKA “DJ Boa Ze.” Sketches: - Thou Shalt* (00:00) - Quite A Little Community + (02:56) - I Have Two Pee* (13:17) - Conflict Management* (16:17) - Euphemisms* (24:07) Songs:  "I'm Gonna Knock You Out" was originally recorded by LL Cool J, but is covered here by Five Finger Death Punch, featuring Tech 9, from their album THE WRONG SIDE OF HEAVEN AND THE RIGHTEOUS SIDE OF HELL. "Mary Had a Little Lamb" is in the public domain. "The Ten Commandments Theme" was composed by Elmer Bernstein as a part of the soundtrack to, of course, THE TEN COMMANDMENTS, which was published by Dot Records in 1956.  "We Care A Lot" is Korn's "Faith No More" cover, from their 2016 compilation album DECADES OF DESTRUCTION, produced by Metal Hammer.  *Written by Michael J Grady + Written by [NAME REDACTED] and Michael J. Grady.

(Originally Aired: 04/18/18) Whilst Boa and Nuggets attempt to pen a Shakespeare Episode they become embroiled in a love triangle which devolves into an Elizabethan Revenge Plot. Sketches: "Fluffernutter Pancake!" (a Shakespearean treatment of the classic vaudevillian sketch "Slowly, I Turned")* (08:57) "Cultural Enema"* (14:15) All sketches performed by Michael J. Grady AKA “MC Nuggets” and [NAME REDACTED] AKA “DJ Boa Ze.” Additional Actors: Sarah Elizabeth Chapman Songs: "Romeo and Juliet," originally performed by Dire Straits is covered here by the Killers, from their 2007 Album "Sawdust," produced by Island Records. "You Oughta Know," originally performed by Alanis Morrisette, is covered by The Killing Moon, from the "Punk Goes 90's" album, produced by Fearless Records. "You Rascal, You!" is an old blues standard, covered by many, many artists. This version comes from Hanni El Khatib and can be found on his album 2018 "Will The Guns Come Out," which was produced by Innovative Liesure. *Written by Michael J. Grady 

(Originally Aired: 03/21/18) It's an old yarn about a "dame" who hires a "dick" to "rub out" the man who "fingered" her in a police line up. But does the dame intend to rub out the mysterious man or her dick?  Sketches: "TOTAL NUCLEAR ANNIHILATION!"* (04:50) "The Adventures of Naked Man (Reprise)"* (12:14) "Ready, FIRE, Aim!"* (15:12) "The Health Benefits of Cigarettes."* (18:58) All sketches performed by Michael J. Grady AKA “MC Nuggets” and [NAME REDACTED] AKA “DJ Boa Ze.” Songs: "99 Red Balloons," originally performed by Nena, is given a rockabilly retro-cover by the Rocker Covers from their 2013 album New Old Stock, produced by Graystone Records. "Man in the Box" is a retro-lounge cover of Alice In Chains by Richard Cheese, from his 2005 album Aperitif for Destruction, produced by Surfdog. "Mmmbop" is a shamefully infectious, 2-chord, pop earworm which was originally performed by Hanson. It's covered here in retro-jazz style by Postmodern Jukebox and available for download on Amazon and their website. *Written by Michael J. Grady   

"In order to get a 'diarrhea sketch' on the air, Boa and Nuggets enter into a philosophical dialogue about Western mores, community standards and Cartesian Dualism." (Originally aired: 02/21/18) Sketches: - "I Have Two Pee."* (09:07) - "Naked Man Vs. The Crimson Flatus."* (15:30) All sketches performed by Michael J. Grady AKA “MC Nuggets” and [NAME REDACTED] AKA “DJ Boa Ze.” Additional actors: Daniel Fredrickson, reprising his role as Mason Stanager. Music: "The Final Movement of the 1812 Overture (with farts)" -- an altered version of a performance by the Budapest Philharmonic Orchestra. "Ooh That Smell!" by Lynyrd Skynyrd is from the 1977 album What's Your Name. Produced by MCA. "Under Pressure," which was originally performed by Queen and David Bowie is covered here by Puddles' Pity Party. *Written by Michael J. Grady 

(Originally aired: 01/24/18) "Some hear the call of fortune, some feel the call of nature and for some there is no difference." - "Every Dude's Saturday Night."* (03:33) - "Thou Shalt!"* (10:35) - "The Hoarders."* (14:12) All sketches performed by Michael J. Grady AKA “MC Nuggets” and [NAME REDACTED] AKA “DJ Boa Ze.”  Additional actors: Daniel Fredrickson and David Faber. Music: "Beer, Beer, Beer." Performed by the Clancy Brothers, from their alubm FLOWERS IN THE VALLEY, produced by Columbia Records in 1970. "Beer is Good!" Performed by Psychostick, from their self-produced 2006 album, WE COULDN'T THINK OF A TITLE. "Goin' Down." is a b-side from The Monkey's DAYDREAM BELIEVER album, produced by Colgems in 1967. “The Death of Comedy’s Rockin’ Guitar Intro” was written and recorded by Daniel Fredrickson, with percussion by Rubix.  "The Pee Song" is from Donovan's 1970 album HMS DONOVAN, produced by Dawn. *Written by Michael J. Grady 

(Originally aired: 05/10/17) "The station faces legal action when Nuggetz shouts an obscene-sounding homonym on air." Sketches: - "American Outrage"* (01:44) - "The Dingle Dangle"+ (06:51) - "Euphemisms"* (07:43) - "A Cosby Spirit." (18:23) - "Goodbye!"* (20:33) All sketches performed by Michael J. Grady AKA “MC Nuggets” and [NAME REDACTED] AKA “DJ Boa Ze.”  Additional actors: Daniel Fredrickson, David Faber and Laura Anne Eggerichs Music: "Fixing A Hole" a B-side from the Beatles' grounbreaking SGT. PEPPER'S LONELY HEARTS CLUB BAND, which turns 50 this year. Produced by EMI. "Friday the 13th, Part 3 (Title Theme)," the funkiest slasher theme yet recorded was, of course, from the soundtrack to the 1982 movie. Produced by Waxwork. "One Million Lawyers" was originally released in Tom Paxton's 2001 album "Live from Mountain Stage," but this version is from his 2004 album "Best of Friends," which he recorded with Anne Hills and Bob Gibson. “The Death of Comedy’s Rockin’ Guitar Intro” was written and recorded by Daniel Fredrickson, with percussion by Rubix.  *Written by Michael J. Grady + Written by Michael J. Grady and [NAME REDACTED]. 

(Originally aired: 04/12/17) "When an endorsement deal for a deadly and addictive but delicious sugar substitute promises Boa and Nuggets wealth beyond their wildest dreams, the boys desperately seek a moral gray area."  Sketches: -“My Name is Doug!”* (08:37) -“Naked Man Episode 20: The Incredible Shrinking Naked Man!”* (11:59)  -“Funny Weather”* (20:09)  All sketches performed by Michael J. Grady AKA “MC Nuggets” and [NAME REDACTED] AKA “DJ Boa Ze.”  Additional actors: Daniel Fredrickson.  Music: “For the Love of Money” was performed by the Ojays as a part of their 1973 album Ship Ahoy. Released by Philadelphia International Records.  “I Just Can’t Get Enough,” which was originally recorded by Depeche Mode, is covered by the Wannadies as a part of their You and Me Song EP, which was released in Japan, by Soap Records in 1996. “Money (That’s What I Want)” Originally written by Barry Gordy and Janie Bradford and has since been covered by many performers. This cover is by the Flying Lizards in their self-titled 1979 album. Released by Virgin.  “The Death of Comedy’s Rockin’ Guitar Intro” was written and recorded by Daniel Fredrickson, with percussion by Rubix.    “Toxic” originally recorded by Britney Spears is covered here by the Portland-based bluegrass band, the Nutmeggers. As far as we know this cover has not been released in album form, but it is available online. Here is a link to their Reverb Nation site: https://www.reverbnation.com/thenutmeggers/songs  *Written by Michael J. Grady

(Original air date: 03/08/17) "Believing the casting couch is their ticket to fame, Boa and Nuggets attempt to molest their agent." Sketches:  -“The Adam Sandler School of Comedy.”* (09:49) -“Free Market Movie Reviews.”* (13:37) -“Astronaut Boy.”* (15:36) -“Rigged to Explode.”* (22:20) -“Bad News.”* (23:19) -“Freaky Friday Remake.”* (23:36)  All sketches performed by Michael J. Grady AKA “MC Nuggets” and [NAME REDACTED] AKA “DJ Boa Ze.”  Additional actors included: Laura Ann Eggerichs Music:  “Big Spender” (Karaoke version performed by MC Nuggets) was an originally from the musical Sweet Charity but made famous by Shirley Bassey in her 1967 album of the same name. To cover my Basseys, that album was released by United Artists Records. “Big Time” written and performed by Peter Gabriel from the 1986 album So. Released by Charisma Records. “Sell Out” by Reel Big Fish is from their 1996 album Turn Off the Radio. Released by Mojo Records.  “The Death of Comedy’s Rockin’ Guitar Intro” was written and recorded by Daniel Fredrickson, with percussion by Rubix.  *Written by Michael J. Grady

(Original air date: 02/08/17) "What would happen if the Time Travel Lobby successfully deregulated movement through the Fourth Dimension???"  Sketches:  - “Small Change.”* (10:00)  -“Abbott and Costello Discuss Quantum Mechanics”* (19:42) All sketches performed by Michael J. Grady AKA “MC Nuggets” and [NAME REDACTED] AKA “DJ Boa Ze.”  Music: “Let’s Do The Time Warp, Again” (originally from The Rocky Horror Picture Show), covered here with a ska beat, by the Holophonics, as a selection from 2014's Maskarades Vol. 7 - Skalloween. Released by Holophonor Records. “Sympathy for the Devil” (originally recorded by The Rolling Stones) is covered by The King, from their album Return to Splender (2000). Released by Electra. “The Death of Comedy’s Rockin’ Guitar Intro” was written and recorded by Daniel Fredrickson, with percussion by Rubix.    “Time is on My Side” by the Rolling Stones, from their 1964 album 12 x 5. Released by Abkco.  *Written by Michael J. Grady

(Original air date: 01/11/17) "After a disagreement over conflict management systems leads to double murder, Boa and Nuggets face an eternity of fire, brimstone, candy corn and Spandau Ballet."  Sketches:    - “The Nun’s Nasty Habit.”* (00:00) -“Conflict Management.”* (01:30) - “Naïve Nila.”* (15:59) - ”The Pale Horse.”* (19:56) - “American Obesity Association”+ (23-50)   Actors: Laura Anne Eggarichs, Julie Ewald, Frank Iuro, Max Richter and Andrew Wohlson. All sketches performed by Michael J. Grady AKA “MC Nuggets” and [NAME REDACTED] AKA “DJ Boa Ze.” Music:  “Hell” by the Squirrel Nut Zippers from their 1996 album Hot. “Killing Machine” by Judas Priest from the 1982 Album Hell Bent for Leather. Released by Columbia.  “The Death of Comedy’s Rockin’ Guitar Intro” was written and recorded by Daniel Fredrickson, with percussion by Rubix.    Incidental Music in Hell included “The Limbo Song” by Frankie Anderson, “True” by Spandau Ballet, “Songbird” by Kenny G and “Mmbop” by Hanson.  *Written by Michael J. Grady + Written by Michael J. Grady and [NAME REDACTED].

(Original air date: 12/14/16) "DJ Boa Ze and MC Nuggets have one rule to follow: Don't say the words." Comic Sketches:  - “Alien Attack.”* (18:00) -“Every Dude’s Saturday Night.”* (11:47) -”Melvin Tyler: Homicidal Pants Salesman.”* (23:10) -“Naked Man!”* (08:00) All sketches performed by Michael J. Grady AKA “MC Nuggets” and [NAME REDACTED] AKA “DJ Boa Ze.” This episode included fine work by Daniel Fredrickson, who played “Mason Stanager” and “Second Dude.” Music:  “Baby Did a Bad, Bad Thing” was written by Chris Isaak and was performed by him in his 1995 Album Forever Blue. Released by Reprise.  “Let’s Just (Take Off Them Clothes.)” is an unreleased track from the Woman in Red (1984) soundtrack. Released by Motown. “Oops . . . I Did It Again!” written by Max Martin and Rami Yacoub and (of course) made famous by Britney Spears is performed here, in a cabaret version, by Max Raabe and the Palast Orchestra from their 2001 album Super Hits. Released by RCA.  “The Death of Comedy’s Rockin’ Guitar Intro” was written and recorded by Daniel Fredrickson, with percussion by Rubix.    * Written by Michael J. Grady

Clark Kent's tendency to tear off his clothes and run away during stressful situations doesn't seem to raise eyebrows in Metropolis, but what other pervy things could a comic book hero get away with?

Napoleon Hill, Tony Robbins, Deepack Chopra? Losers!

Science fiction teaches us many useful lessons. One of the most oft-repeated of these is that when aliens invade us they will ultimately be done in by a lack of preparatory research. They usually miss something small but deadly, like the presence of harmful bacteria, or computer viruses . . . or water -- you know that researcher lost his job! Here is an eye witness account of such an invasion.