The Devil's Advocates Legally Distinct Podcast

Oi Oi, 'Ughie, 'Omlanda done bollocks'd me wife, and he knackered me son. The boys are back with this incredible season 10 premier or something like that. We aren't actually sure what season we're on anymore. Who cares? Get your bollocks in here and get roight knackered loik a bo'le o' wa'er, in it mate?

Join the boys in a special episode at the Death Valley Gazebo. Here, we explore spirituality through old myths and legends, as Dave and John debate the potential meanings and impacts of these stories. Come to the center of Death Valley and bask in the glory of the old gods.

Come join the boys as they gather in the wilderness for some quiet contemplation upon the soothing sounds of the cicadas. In this episode, we recommend listening with good headphones so you can take in the subtle yet mesmerizing ambience of the wonders of nature.

Welcome to the Death Valley Newscast! We're bringing you the freshest news available, including an investigative deep dive on the perils of social media and the poisoning of the Internet by artificial intelligence. Join us and learn how John really feels about Ben Shapiro's sister (he wants to bang her, apparently) in this special season finale episode.

The boys let their autism out in this exciting episode.

Terrence Howard has some interesting ideas. We talk about them. Who is right? You decide, you stupid bitch.

Come learn the best nature facts on the Internet, including how bumblebees fly, animals which have venom you probably didn't know about, and hear what Jordan Peterson has to say about it all.

The boys make their debut in their rapping career. Come listen to the best rhymes the boys can cook up in a plastic two liter bottle.

Come join the boys as they delve deep into the butthole of the Internet and talk about the most extreme things that the algorithm has been rotting their brains with recently. Get in here, ya bonehead. We are sponsored by Crack Cocaine. The drug. We are sponsored by one rock of crack. Yummy yummy. I put crack cocaine in my tummy.

In this special episode, guests Amy and Carmen come on the show to dazzle us with their electrifying presence. Then John reads the wackiest stories he could find on Reddit that day.

Come join the boys as they discuss AI generated music and giant tittied weather girls. Get in here, and get wet, you stupid little bratty sub.

Special guest, Amy, shows up to talk about hydrology, including details about her work, and an interesting discussion about climate regions on Mars. Not to be outdone, John stupidly interjects in this incredible and informative conversation to talk about the linguistic function of the suffix, "-ussy". It's a great episode! Except for John. Why does he have to be here? He literally contributes nothing positive to the show, he's just weird and does these stupid fucking voices that I absolutely HATE. God, I hope John dies at the end.

Fuckle your seatbelts as the boys dive into the sordid secrets of the children's television network known as Nickelodeon.

Did you know that John allegedly used to be a moderator for legally distinct Tik Tok? Come learn about the dark underbelly of this purveyor of short-form video content as John performs an expert trauma dump on Dave.

Long time listeners will know that on this show, we never talk about politics. Never have, never will. It's actually written into our contracts that we can't talk about politics, it's strictly forbidden, not just by studio policy, but also by law. The tyrannical government of Death Valley made a law saying that podcast hosts are strictly forbidden from mentioning anything political on air. So, we being the law-abiding citizens that we are, obviously will never find ourselves in breach of that statute. Following the law is our favorite thing to do on this show.

Cum and join us as the boys dive into the wacky world of First Amendment auditors, people in America who like to flex their Constitutional rights by annoying and harassing people. Also learn how to turn your cum into pepper spray today!

In this episode, Daddy Dave does some daddy work while John goes on a very stupid tangent about Ice Spice. Fuckle your seatbelts and strap on your favorite dingle dangle because we're coming to give that sack a good ole slap! Sponsored and created by Raid Shadow Legends as a demo of in-game dialogue.

In this season 8 premier, the boys talk about Nikola Tesla and his secret sexual proclivities.

In this special season finale episode, the podcast is once again taken over by Alex Jones and Joe Rogan as they discuss the darkest deep state secrets. Come listen as they blow the lid on a nefarious plot by the J-...I mean, the globalists...yeah... those guys, to take over the world and convince everyone to worship a false god that they will project in our skies using mysterious technology that they have been developing in secret. Get your tin foil hat ready and join us for this eye-opening, mind-blowing, toe-sucking season finale episode!

Come listen as the boys try out their newfangled AI-generated cactus recorder equipment! Something may or may not go into somebody's butt! Who knows? Fuck you, that's who!

Come pull up a seat at the pub and enjoy a tall Guinness as the boys regale you with the finest Irish folk tales that the Green Isle has to offer.

The boys go over some deep CIA conspiracies, uncovering the secrets that Big Brother doesn't want you to know. This episode is brought to you by buttholes, prongle dicks, and the NUTTerfly Foundation. Donate to us today by giving us a dollar and we'll help protect the endangered NUTTerflies and their beautiful, fleshy wings.

The boys talk about Dungeons and Dragons in this special episode, but it's a long episode, so they also talk about a coyote they met, a weird lady who said she met aliens, how the world is ending, and the giant ass dome in Las Vegas. Sponsored by Wizards of the Coast and potential frivolous lawsuits.

The boys end up talking about video games which reminds John of that time he got traumatized for life by a disturbingly realistic sex mod for Skyrim. This episode is sponsored by loverslab.com, your best choice for mods that will elevate your gaming experience into the NSFW fantasy of your desires. Come check out our wide selection of giant, barbed cat penises. Look upon their anatomically correct and disgustingly scaled up genitalia so that your main character can have the swinging spike cock you've always dreamed of!

Dave and John talk about how Pokemon is actually a plot by the Satanists to teach children witchcraft and steal their souls. Brought to you by Poliwhirl, the Thicc Version. This version of Poliwhirl is a buff, veiny, masculine type that is very fertile. This kind of Poliwhirl is the most likely to get you pregnant. Thicc Poliwhirl awaits you in your dreams.

The boys recap the Wale's Tales one last time as John says how he really feels and then they discuss how big headed alien people teamed up with Greek dog men to make modern society. Come get in here and get moist, you stupid little slut!

The boys talk about some more Wales tales and other assorted topics. Sponsored by North Korea, long live Kim Jung Un, may he reign a thousand years, his wisdom and power protects us all.

Please, everyone, put an F in chat to pay your respects to the Irish horses.

Dave gets ready to talk about his favorite Welsh folk stories...until special guest Pedro the Meth Smoking Philippino showed up and derailed the whole show. Come learn all about Pedro in this exclusive interview.

The people have spoken and...*sigh*...we brought him back. I hope I die.

Come join the festivities as Dave and John celebrate another year of podcasting. A special shout-out to our fans who keep coming back for more and supporting us, you make it worth it. Sponsored by Raid Shadow Legends.

The boys talk about the true origin of Thanksgiving, then for some reason, John turns this into a reason to talk shit about Britain and St. Patrick's Day. Dave gets it back on track with talk about good food, then John yet again derails the conversation with a discussion about his secret desires. Sponsored by thetip.com (don't go there)

The boys do a roadside chat where they get downright nerdy and start talking about Star Wars and Star Trek.

Dave gives a dire warning about some reading material he's been recommending. He finished the series and, well, he's got some feelings about it. This episode is sponsored by spiritual satanism.

The boys talk about Buddhism, sponsored by Indonesia.

John talks about the most devastating nutshot he's ever endured. Then the boys reminisce over some forbidden content that you aren't allowed to hear. Obviously, we're sponsored by 19 Year Old Buttholes. Try it today! It's the newest antivirus computer software, available for free on your nearest porn site!

Come join the boys in a spooky spirit as they talk about haunts and scares and... Israel? Goddamn it, they talked about Israel again, didn't they?

Shambanism: part the fourth one - electric boogaloo, the sequel to, Dude, What's This Episode About?

Join us for a somber look at the unfolding violence in the Middle East as Dave and John recount what they currently know about the conflict.

The boys delve even further into the mystical realm of the shaman.

The boys get deeper into the shamanism conversation and take it back to the basics to explain their view on the origin of shamanism and how it has developed since then.

Dave and John begin a discussion about shamanism. Dave starts talking about Carlos Castenada as John dies of coughing. This and everything else in the year 2023 is sponsored by Verizon Wireless.

Dave and John talk about the Boogaloo Boys, an American militia group that's been taking the cringeposting community by storm. Come take a seat and listen as they tell you of these people and how vastly, incomprehensibly, irrevocably stupid they all are. Let us laugh at their stupidity together. Go on, point and laugh. It's okay, they deserve it.

In this special episode, the boys talk about all the most current news. Also some shoutouts for the folks who interacted with our polls and Q&A. Thanks, y'all, keep it up.

In this season finale, all the special guests come together one last time. A Junji Ito spiral happens, and then all hell breaks loose. Join us for the gripping end to season 6! Become a Paid Subscriber: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/devilsadvocateslegallydistinct/subscribe

Come listen to Dave talk about My Little Pony and Cobra Kai while he punches John through several dimensions at once. Become a Paid Subscriber: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/devilsadvocateslegallydistinct/subscribe

The boys talk about politicized spiritual warfare and how people are using piss jars to curse their political rivals. Become a Paid Subscriber: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/devilsadvocateslegallydistinct/subscribe

The boys talk about the terms of use for Spotify For Podcasting and all the ways they've broken those terms. Please be nice to us, Spotify, we were only joking. Become a Paid Subscriber: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/devilsadvocateslegallydistinct/subscribe

Oops, we forgot to post this one in order! Oh well, have more alienussy. Check out the previous episode, Truth At Skinwalker Ranch, for a more updated discussion on this subject, you saucy little sloot. Become a Paid Subscriber: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/devilsadvocateslegallydistinct/subscribe

Dave and John talk about Skinwalker Ranch and the extent of David Grusch's involvement with the ghost hunters there, not knowing they were wrong all along! How stupid of them. Don't miss out on this groundbreaking information! Become a Paid Subscriber: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/devilsadvocateslegallydistinct/subscribe