PODCAST · health
The Erotic Realm
by Emma | Psychology of Desire
The Erotic Realm is the world's leading Erotic Psychology podcast, exploring the psychology of desire, kink, intimacy and erotic identity through conversations with kinksters, researchers, educators and experts.Hosted by Emma, Sexologist and founder of Psychology of Desire, each episode explores the erotic realm of an individual one on one with a deep dive into their erotic psychology.Join Emma and discover what your desires might be trying to teach you.www.psychologyofdesire.com
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#134 The Psychology of Male Dominance: Justin on Power, Masculinity & Submission
Can a man learn to be Dominant — or is dominance something you either have or you don't?In this episode I'm joined by Justin, founder of The Dominance Academy, to explore the psychology of male dominance, masculinity and consensual power exchange.We explore:Whether male dominance can be learned.The difference between embodying dominance and performing it.Justin's four pillars of a Dominant man: self-containment, earned authority, erotic mastery and relational leadership.Why authority must be earned before someone can responsibly hold another person's submission.The difference between consensual dominance and men who simply want control over women.How BDSM and Dominant/submissive relationships can become pathways for personal transformation.Research article: To Know Thyself: A Qualitative Exploration of Motivating Factors for BDSM and Kink Participants Who Hold Dominant Identities.Supporters of The Erotic Realm:Firm Tech for sexual health tracking here.Splash blanket for intimacy-friendly comfort here.ProDx Health at home STI testing here.Innovative Sex Tech:Lioness here.Kiiroo here.Luxus here.Lovense here.Science-backed libido support:Flow supplement here.Desire supplement here.Interested in Kinky Speed Dating? Register Here.The Erotic Realm now has it’s own merchandise! If you love the show and want to support it check it out here.Visit psychologyofdesire.com to support the podcast, or apply to be a guest. I'd love to chat to you.Thanks for listening!Stay perverted,EmmaSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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#133 The Psychology of Mismatched Desire: The Kink Consultant Amanda Dames on Sex & Relationships
What happens when you love each other — but you don't want the same things sexually?In this episode I'm joined by Amanda Dames, The Kink Consultant, to explore the psychology of mismatched desire, sexual compatibility and kink in relationships.We explore:What mismatched sexual desire looks like inside relationships.Why telling our partner what we really want can feel extraordinarily vulnerable.Whether an apparent “low desire” partner might simply not be having the kind of sex that activates their desire.What BDSM and kink can teach conventional couples about negotiating desire, boundaries and consent.The surprisingly complicated question: is sex actually a need?Research article: Strategies for Mitigating Sexual Desire Discrepancy in RelationshipsThis episode is proudly sponsored by Stigma Health.Interested in Kinky Speed Dating? Register Here.The Erotic Realm now has it’s own merchandise! If you love the show and want to support it check it out here.Visit psychologyofdesire.com to support the podcast, or apply to be a guest. I'd love to chat to you.Thanks for listening!Stay perverted,EmmaSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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#132 Kink & Neurodivergence: BDSM, Mental Health & Consent with Auntie Vice
What's missing when the standard rules of kink assume everybody's brain works the same way?In this episode Auntie Vice returns to explore the intersection of BDSM, neurodivergence and mental health — and her new book, Kinky & Complicated.So much BDSM advice assumes that we can identify exactly what we want, clearly communicate our boundaries and recognise when something changes. But what happens when the way we process sensation, emotion, desire or communication works differently — or changes over time?We explore:How neurodivergence can shape BDSM, kink and desire.Why BDSM's explicit rules and negotiations may work particularly well for some neurodivergent people.Consent and communication when someone's capacity or mental state changes.The impact of medication and menopause on neurodivergence, sexuality and kink.Why BDSM can be psychologically beneficial without being therapy.The complicated distinction between consensual BDSM pain and self-injury.Research article: A Preliminary Investigation into Intersections of Sexual Communication in Bondage, Domination, Sadomasochism and Disability.Supporters of The Erotic Realm:Firm Tech for sexual health tracking here.Splash blanket for intimacy-friendly comfort here.ProDx Health at home STI testing here.Innovative Sex Tech:Lioness here.Kiiroo here.Luxus here.Lovense here.Science-backed libido support:Flow supplement here.Desire supplement here.Interested in Kinky Speed Dating? Register Here.The Erotic Realm now has it’s own merchandise! If you love the show and want to support it check it out here.Visit psychologyofdesire.com to support the podcast, or apply to be a guest. I'd love to chat to you.Thanks for listening!Stay perverted,EmmaSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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#131 What Your Sexual Fantasies Reveal About You: Cat Savard on Kink, CNC & Desire
What do your sexual fantasies reveal about you?In this episode I'm joined by Cat Savard, founder of Good Ember, to explore the psychology and data behind our sexual fantasies.Link to Survey data here: https://www.goodember.com/pages/surveysWe explore:What our sexual fantasies and kinks might reveal about us.What Cat's Good Ember data is revealing about people's fantasies.The psychology of consensual non-consent (CNC).Why people can fantasise about experiences they don't literally want to happen.Sexual communication and why sharing fantasies with a partner can feel so vulnerable.How couples can become more curious about each other erotically.Research article: The Role of Sexual Communication in Couples' Sexual Outcomes: A Dyadic Path Analysis.This episode is proudly sponsored by Stigma Health.Interested in Kinky Speed Dating? Register Here.The Erotic Realm now has it’s own merchandise! If you love the show and want to support it check it out here.Visit psychologyofdesire.com to support the podcast, or apply to be a guest. I'd love to chat to you.Thanks for listening!Stay perverted,EmmaSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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#130 Owning Your Kink: Living Authentically, Cults & Consent with Rain DeGrey
What happens when you stop hiding your kink and decide to fully own who you are?In this episode Rain DeGrey takes us from coming out of the kink closet and finding herself at Kink.com just three weeks later, through her evolution into sexuality education and her belief that helping people overcome shame and "own their awesome" is what she was put here to do.We explore:Coming out of the kink closet and owning your erotic identity.Why strap-ons became one of her specialist areas.Rain's experience of being in a cult — and why she left.What supporting people through their final moments of life taught her about living.Sexual shame and where we learn to judge our desires.What two decades of exploring kink have taught Rain about pleasure and authenticity.Why accepting our erotic selves can become part of living a more meaningful life.Supporters of The Erotic Realm:Firm Tech for sexual health tracking here.Splash blanket for intimacy-friendly comfort here.ProDx Health at home STI testing here.Innovative Sex Tech:Lioness here.Kiiroo here.Luxus here.Lovense here.Science-backed libido support:Flow supplement here.Desire supplement here.Interested in Kinky Speed Dating? Register Here.The Erotic Realm now has it’s own merchandise! If you love the show and want to support it check it out here.Visit psychologyofdesire.com to support the podcast, or apply to be a guest. I'd love to chat to you.Thanks for listening!Stay perverted,EmmaSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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#129 Desire and Your Body: Judith Swack on Shame, Trauma & Sexuality
What happens when there is a disconnect between what your mind and your body wants?In this episode I explore with Judith Swack, creator of Healing from the Body Level Up (HBLU), about sexual shame, trauma, desire and what she describes as experiencing sex from the body's point of view.We explore:Sexual shame and its impact on desire.The conflict between consciously wanting something and not feeling safe enough to want it.What Judith describes as a phobia of sexual desire.How religious and cultural messages can become attached to sexuality.A live tapping demonstration during the episode.How Judith works with unconscious patterns around sex.The relationship between the mind, body and erotic desire.Research article: Sexual Satisfaction, Sexual Attitudes, and Shame in Relation to Religiosity.Supporters of The Erotic Realm:Firm Tech for sexual health tracking here.Splash blanket for intimacy-friendly comfort here.ProDx Health at home STI testing here.Innovative Sex Tech:Lioness here.Kiiroo here.Luxus here.Lovense here.Science-backed libido support:Flow supplement here.Desire supplement here.Interested in Kinky Speed Dating? Register Here.The Erotic Realm now has it’s own merchandise! If you love the show and want to support it check it out here.Visit psychologyofdesire.com to support the podcast, or apply to be a guest. I'd love to chat to you.Thanks for listening!Stay perverted,EmmaSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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#128 Why Financial Domination Turns People On: Money, Power & Kink with Harley
Why can giving someone your money become an act of erotic surrender?In this episode I'm joined by Harley to explore the psychology of financial domination — better known as findom — and the complex relationship between money, power, submission and desire.We explore:The psychology of financial domination and findom.Why financial domination can feel "primal".Service submission and the psychology of giving.The difference between lifestyle findom and commercial erotic labour.Why financial domination isn't necessarily reducible to sexual arousal.Negotiating boundaries within financial power exchange.The difference between financial domination and financial exploitation.Research article: Findommes, Cybermediated Sex Work, and Rinsing.Supporters of The Erotic Realm:Firm Tech for sexual health tracking here.Splash blanket for intimacy-friendly comfort here.ProDx Health at home STI testing here.Innovative Sex Tech:Lioness here.Kiiroo here.Luxus here.Lovense here.Science-backed libido support:Flow supplement here.Desire supplement here.Interested in Kinky Speed Dating? Register Here.The Erotic Realm now has it’s own merchandise! If you love the show and want to support it check it out here.Visit psychologyofdesire.com to support the podcast, or apply to be a guest. I'd love to chat to you.Thanks for listening!Stay perverted,EmmaSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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#127 The Psychology of Pony Play: Rapidash on Transformation, Submission & Pony Space
What happens when you don't just want to pretend to be a pony but you want to psychologically become one?In this episode I'm joined by Desmond, known in the kink community as Rapidash, for our first exploration into the psychology of pony play and human animal roleplay.We explore:What pony play actually is and why people are drawn to it.Why pony play isn't primarily sexual for Desmond.How latex, masks, bridles and tack facilitate psychological transformation.Service, devotion and the relationship between a pony and handler.The importance of community in transforming a private fantasy into an embodied identity.Whether entering pony space represents escaping yourself — or becoming more fully yourself.Research article: The Psychology of Puppy Play: A Phenomenological Investigation.Supporters of The Erotic Realm:Firm Tech for sexual health tracking here.Splash blanket for intimacy-friendly comfort here.ProDx Health at home STI testing here.Innovative Sex Tech:Lioness here.Kiiroo here.Luxus here.Lovense here.Science-backed libido support:Flow supplement here.Desire supplement here.Interested in Kinky Speed Dating? Register Here.The Erotic Realm now has it’s own merchandise! If you love the show and want to support it check it out here.Visit psychologyofdesire.com to support the podcast, or apply to be a guest. I'd love to chat to you.Thanks for listening!Stay perverted,EmmaSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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#126 365 Days of Orgasms: Pleasure, Desire & the Psychology of Orgasm with Annette Benedetti
What happens when you commit to having an orgasm every single day for an entire year?In this episode we explore Annette's 365 Days of Orgasms journey — what began as an unusual personal experiment and evolved into a much deeper exploration of pleasure, desire, embodiment and sexuality.We explore:The psychology behind 365 consecutive days of orgasms.What women may misunderstand about their own arousal and pleasure.The relationship between orgasm, desire and sexual satisfaction.How self-pleasure can affect partnered sex.The role of embodiment, presence and psychological safety in pleasure.Whether everyone could benefit from developing a regular pleasure practice.Why the greatest sexual experiences may involve much more than orgasm.Research article: Building Blocks Toward Optimal Sexuality: Constructing a Conceptual Model.Supporters of The Erotic Realm:Firm Tech for sexual health tracking here.Splash blanket for intimacy-friendly comfort here.ProDx Health at home STI testing here.Innovative Sex Tech:Lioness here.Kiiroo here.Luxus here.Lovense here.Science-backed libido support:Flow supplement here.Desire supplement here.Interested in Kinky Speed Dating? Register Here.The Erotic Realm now has it’s own merchandise! If you love the show and want to support it check it out here.Visit psychologyofdesire.com to support the podcast, or apply to be a guest. I'd love to chat to you.Thanks for listening!Stay perverted,EmmaSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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#125 Erotic Jealousy, Non-Monogamy & Your Passport 2 Pleasure with Ally Iseman
Can jealousy become erotic—and can we have both security and novelty in our relationships?I'm joined by Ally Iseman from Passport to Pleasure, a certified relationship coach, non-monogamy educator, pleasure advocate and speaker whose work explores how we can create more intentional relationships and more expansive erotic lives.We explore:Erotic jealousy and what happens when jealousy itself becomes part of desire.Consensual non-monogamy and how to know whether you're ready to explore it.How to talk to a monogamous partner about opening a relationship.The tension between security and erotic novelty.The mistakes people commonly make when opening relationships.Symbiosexuality—the emerging concept of attraction to the energy and dynamic between people in an existing relationship.Why designing relationships consciously may require us to question the scripts we've inherited about love.Research article: The fewer the merrier?: Assessing stigma surrounding consensually non-monogamous romantic relationships.Supporters of The Erotic Realm:Firm Tech for sexual health tracking here.Splash blanket for intimacy-friendly comfort here.ProDx Health at home STI testing here.Innovative Sex Tech:Lioness here.Kiiroo here.Luxus here.Lovense here.Science-backed libido support:Flow supplement here.Desire supplement here.Interested in Kinky Speed Dating? Register Here.The Erotic Realm now has it’s own merchandise! If you love the show and want to support it check it out here.Visit psychologyofdesire.com to support the podcast, or apply to be a guest. I'd love to chat to you.Thanks for listening!Stay perverted,EmmaSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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#124 The Psychology of Sacred Kink: BDSM, Spirituality & Ritual with Melissa M. Wilcox
What if some BDSM experiences aren't simply erotic—but sacred?In this episode I explore with scholar Melissa M. Wilcox about the fascinating intersection of BDSM, spirituality, religion, ritual and sexuality.We explore:Ritual, surrender and meaning within BDSM.The historical relationship between religion, pain and self-flagellation.What makes an experience feel sacred.Melissa's research process for Devotions.Feminist Wicca, LGBTQ+ Christianity and Melissa's academic journey.Why human beings create rituals in the first place.Supporters of The Erotic Realm:Firm Tech for sexual health tracking here.Splash blanket for intimacy-friendly comfort here.ProDx Health at home STI testing here.Innovative Sex Tech:Lioness here.Kiiroo here.Luxus here.Lovense here.Science-backed libido support:Flow supplement here.Desire supplement here.Interested in Kinky Speed Dating? Register Here.The Erotic Realm now has it’s own merchandise! If you love the show and want to support it check it out here.Visit psychologyofdesire.com to support the podcast, or apply to be a guest. I'd love to chat to you.Thanks for listening!Stay perverted,EmmaSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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#123 The Good Boy: Submission, Tantra & Latex with The Queensman
What if submission wasn't about weakness...but about finally feeling safe enough to be vulnerable?In this episode I sit down with The Queensman—a passionate submissive, service sub, tantra practitioner, latex fetishist, and the first Good Boy to appear on the podcast.We explore:What it means to identify as a Good Boy.Mommy Domme/little dynamics and unconditional love.Why service submission isn't about being a pushover.Hidden desires, shame, and self-acceptance.How tantra transformed his BDSM journey.Latex, caning, and his favourite kinks.Advice for anyone afraid to explore their desires.Research article: Sexual diversity in the United States: Results from a nationally representative probability sample of adult women and men.Supporters of The Erotic Realm:Firm Tech for sexual health tracking here.Splash blanket for intimacy-friendly comfort here.ProDx Health at home STI testing here.Innovative Sex Tech:Lioness here.Kiiroo here.Luxus here.Lovense here.Science-backed libido support:Flow supplement here.Desire supplement here.Interested in Kinky Speed Dating? Register Here.The Erotic Realm now has it’s own merchandise! If you love the show and want to support it check it out here.Visit psychologyofdesire.com to support the podcast, or apply to be a guest. I'd love to chat to you.Thanks for listening!Stay perverted,EmmaSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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#122 The Art of Shibari: Marie Sauvage on Ritual, Presence, & Erotic Art
What if Shibari wasn't simply about rope—but about learning a new way to communicate?In this episode I chat with internationally recognised Shibari artist Marie Sauvage to explore the psychology of presence, embodiment, ritual, and the artistic language of Japanese rope bondage.We explore:How Shibari became Marie's artistic language.Why rope is about communication, not just restraint.Presence, embodiment, and interoceptive awareness.The role of trust in Japanese rope bondage.Why Marie sees performances as rituals rather than demonstrations.A feminine perspective on contemporary Shibari.Research article: Interoceptive Awareness Skills for Emotion Regulation: Theory and Approach of Mindful Awareness in Body-Oriented Therapy (MABT).Supporters of The Erotic Realm:Firm Tech for sexual health tracking here.Splash blanket for intimacy-friendly comfort here.ProDx Health at home STI testing here.Innovative Sex Tech:Lioness here.Kiiroo here.Luxus here.Lovense here.Science-backed libido support:Flow supplement here.Desire supplement here.Interested in Kinky Speed Dating? Register Here.The Erotic Realm now has it’s own merchandise! If you love the show and want to support it check it out here.Visit psychologyofdesire.com to support the podcast, or apply to be a guest. I'd love to chat to you.Thanks for listening!Stay perverted,EmmaSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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#121 The Multi-Orgasmic Man: Jim Benson on Masculinity, Tantra & Erotic Confidence
Can men experience multiple orgasms - and if so, why aren't more people talking about it?In this episode I speak with men's sexuality coach Jim Benson to explore the psychology of masculine desire, tantra, erotic confidence, and the surprising science behind the multi-orgasmic man.We explore:What it means to become a multi-orgasmic man.The difference between orgasm and ejaculation.How tantra transforms male sexuality.Overcoming sexual shame and performance anxiety.Awakening the "sexual animal within".Why presence creates better sex.Research article: Male multiple orgasms: a descriptive study.Supporters of The Erotic Realm:Firm Tech for sexual health tracking here.Splash blanket for intimacy-friendly comfort here.ProDx Health at home STI testing here.Innovative Sex Tech:Lioness here.Kiiroo here.Luxus here.Lovense here.Science-backed libido support:Flow supplement here.Desire supplement here.Interested in Kinky Speed Dating? Register Here.The Erotic Realm now has it’s own merchandise! If you love the show and want to support it check it out here.Visit psychologyofdesire.com to support the podcast, or apply to be a guest. I'd love to chat to you.Thanks for listening!Stay perverted,EmmaSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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#120 Healing Your Erotic Self: Big Bear Hug on Trauma, Boundaries & Belonging
What happens when healing from trauma changes the way you understand your desires?In this episode I chat with with Big_Bear_Hug to explore the psychology of trauma, boundaries, erotic identity, and the lifelong process of becoming ourselves.We explore:The relationship between trauma and desire.Learning healthy boundaries inside and outside kink.Navigating triggers within BDSM spaces.Finding a kink-aware therapist.Becoming a "Desire Fulfilment Entity".Belonging beyond labels.Research article: Questioning Gender and Sexual Identity in the Context of Self-Concept Clarity, Sense of Coherence and Value System.Supporters of The Erotic Realm:Firm Tech for sexual health tracking here.Splash blanket for intimacy-friendly comfort here.ProDx Health at home STI testing here.Innovative Sex Tech:Lioness here.Kiiroo here.Luxus here.Lovense here.Science-backed libido support:Flow supplement here.Desire supplement here.Interested in Kinky Speed Dating? Register Here.The Erotic Realm now has it’s own merchandise! If you love the show and want to support it check it out here.Visit psychologyofdesire.com to support the podcast, or apply to be a guest. I'd love to chat to you.Thanks for listening!Stay perverted,EmmaSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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#119 Building Orgasmic Wellness: The Platform Rethinking Sexual Health Care with Mike Corner
Why is finding the right help for a sexual concern still so difficult?In this episode I’m joined by Michael Corner, founder of Orgasmic Wellness, to explore the fragmented systems surrounding sexual health—and what it might take to connect people with better care.We explore:What sexual wellness actually includes.Why finding the right sex therapist or practitioner is difficult.The barriers preventing people from seeking sexual-health support.What makes Orgasmic Wellness different from searching Google.The future of integrated sexual health and wellbeing.Supporters of The Erotic Realm:Firm Tech for sexual health tracking here.Splash blanket for intimacy-friendly comfort here.ProDx Health at home STI testing here.Innovative Sex Tech:Lioness here.Kiiroo here.Luxus here.Lovense here.Science-backed libido support:Flow supplement here.Desire supplement here.Interested in Kinky Speed Dating? Register Here.The Erotic Realm now has it’s own merchandise! If you love the show and want to support it check it out here.Visit psychologyofdesire.com to support the podcast, or apply to be a guest. I'd love to chat to you.Thanks for listening!Stay perverted,EmmaSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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#118 Inside the Mind of FetLife Founder John Baku
How do you build the world's largest BDSM community?In this episode I chat down with John Baku, the founder of FetLife, to explore the psychology behind one of the most influential platforms in modern kink.We explore:How FetLife was created.The psychology of building online communities.Why belonging is so important for kinky people.The future of FetLife and BDSM education.Community safety, moderation, and transparency.Advice for people joining FetLife for the first time.Research article: The Benefits of Facebook “Friends:” Social Capital and College Students’ Use of Online Social Network Sites.Supporters of The Erotic Realm:Firm Tech for sexual health tracking here.Splash blanket for intimacy-friendly comfort here.ProDx Health at home STI testing here.Innovative Sex Tech:Lioness here.Kiiroo here.Luxus here.Lovense here.Science-backed libido support:Flow supplement here.Desire supplement here.Interested in Kinky Speed Dating? Register Here.The Erotic Realm now has it’s own merchandise! If you love the show and want to support it check it out here.Visit psychologyofdesire.com to support the podcast, or apply to be a guest. I'd love to chat to you.Thanks for listening!Stay perverted,EmmaSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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#117 The Erotic Edge: Tantra, Neuroscience & Conscious BDSM with Amber Ella-Vatrix
What if your erotic struggles aren't really about sex but about safety, connection, and your nervous system?In this episode I chat with Amber Ella-Vatrix—conscious kink educator, tantra practitioner, neuroscience-informed facilitator, and creator of The Erotic Edge.We explore:Conscious kink.Tantra and embodied sexuality.Heart-based dominance.Erotic transformation.The sacred prostitute tradition.Trauma, retraumatisation, and safety.Research article: Polyvagal Theory: A Science of Safety.Supporters of The Erotic Realm:Firm Tech for sexual health tracking here.Splash blanket for intimacy-friendly comfort here.ProDx Health at home STI testing here.Innovative Sex Tech:Lioness here.Kiiroo here.Luxus here.Lovense here.Science-backed libido support:Flow supplement here.Desire supplement here.Interested in Kinky Speed Dating? Register Here.The Erotic Realm now has it’s own merchandise! If you love the show and want to support it check it out here.Visit psychologyofdesire.com to support the podcast, or apply to be a guest. I'd love to chat to you.Thanks for listening!Stay perverted,EmmaSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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#116 The Psychology of Super Orgasms: Female Pleasure, Desire & Expanded Sexual Response with Mae
Can some women experience super orgasms?In this episode I chat with down with Mae —educator, former professor, and creator whose work has placed her at the centre of thousands of deeply personal conversations about sexuality, fantasy, insecurity, and pleasure.We explore:Super orgasms and Expanded Sexual Response (ESR).Male sexuality and vulnerability.Consent, communication and respect.Kink and human connection.Sexual confidence.Why pleasure matters more than performance.Research article: Five Cases with Expanded Sexual Response (ESR).Supporters of The Erotic Realm:Firm Tech for sexual health tracking here.Splash blanket for intimacy-friendly comfort here.ProDx Health at home STI testing here.Innovative Sex Tech:Lioness here.Kiiroo here.Luxus here.Lovense here.Science-backed libido support:Flow supplement here.Desire supplement here.Interested in Kinky Speed Dating? Register Here.The Erotic Realm now has it’s own merchandise! If you love the show and want to support it check it out here.Visit psychologyofdesire.com to support the podcast, or apply to be a guest. I'd love to chat to you.Thanks for listening!Stay perverted,EmmaSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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#115 The Psychology of Erotic Power: Midori on Shibari, Art & Desire
What happens when one of the world's leading sexuality educators spends decades teaching people that power, creativity, and pleasure can coexist?In this episode I sit down with Midori—international sexuality educator, author, artist, and one of the pioneers who introduced Shibari and conscious BDSM to Western audiences.We explore:The psychology of Shibari.Female dominance and leadership.ForteFemme.Creativity and eroticism.Sexuality education.The future of BDSM and Shibari.Research article: Role Congruity Theory of Prejudice Toward Female Leaders.Supporters of The Erotic Realm:Firm Tech for sexual health tracking here.Splash blanket for intimacy-friendly comfort here.ProDx Health at home STI testing here.Innovative Sex Tech:Lioness here.Kiiroo here.Luxus here.Lovense here.Science-backed libido support:Flow supplement here.Desire supplement here.Interested in Kinky Speed Dating? Register Here.The Erotic Realm now has it’s own merchandise! If you love the show and want to support it check it out here.Visit psychologyofdesire.com to support the podcast, or apply to be a guest. I'd love to chat to you.Thanks for listening!Stay perverted,EmmaSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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#114 The Science of Curiosity: Brats, Kink & Erotic Growth with That_Scientist
What if the most important skill in exploring your sexuality wasn't confidence—but curiosity?In this episode I chat with That_Scientist to explore the psychology of curiosity, brat dynamics, bisexuality, kink education, and why asking better questions may be one of the most powerful tools we have for understanding desire.We explore:The psychology of curiosity.Discovering bisexuality later in life.BDSM and sexual health.Asking better questions.Self-discovery through kink.Erotic psychology.Research article: Sexual health promotion and sti prevention on the margins: kink, bdsm, and sexually adventurous women.Supporters of The Erotic Realm:Firm Tech for sexual health tracking here.Splash blanket for intimacy-friendly comfort here.ProDx Health at home STI testing here.Innovative Sex Tech:Lioness here.Kiiroo here.Luxus here.Lovense here.Science-backed libido support:Flow supplement here.Desire supplement here.Interested in Kinky Speed Dating? Register Here.The Erotic Realm now has it’s own merchandise! If you love the show and want to support it check it out here.Visit psychologyofdesire.com to support the podcast, or apply to be a guest. I'd love to chat to you.Thanks for listening!Stay perverted,EmmaSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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#113 How to Learn BDSM Safely: Choosing the Right Kink Educator with AncillaL
How do you find good educators of BDSM?In this episode educator and author AncillaL returns to the podcast to explore one of the most important—and surprisingly overlooked—topics in kink: BDSM education.We explore:How to choose a BDSM educator.BDSM mentorship.Communities of practice.Skill-based vs role-based learning.Education versus advertising.Building critical thinking in BDSM.Research article: Kink Community Education: Experiential Learning and Communities of Practice.Connect with AncillaL:https://fetlife.com/AncillaLhttps://www.patreon.com/c/ancillal?vanity=userhttps://www.instagram.com/ancillarykinksupport?igsh=MXYzeHBoZWliZjFmZw==Supporters of The Erotic Realm:Firm Tech for sexual health tracking here.Splash blanket for intimacy-friendly comfort here.ProDx Health at home STI testing here.Innovative Sex Tech:Lioness here.Kiiroo here.Luxus here.Lovense here.Science-backed libido support:Flow supplement here.Desire supplement here.Interested in Kinky Speed Dating? Register Here.The Erotic Realm now has it’s own merchandise! If you love the show and want to support it check it out here.Visit psychologyofdesire.com to support the podcast, or apply to be a guest. I'd love to chat to you.Thanks for listening!Stay perverted,EmmaSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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#112 The Psychology of Switching with Matcha
What happens when you're both dominant and submissive—and both feel completely authentic?In this episode I chat with Matcha to explore the psychology of switching, the emerging FemDaddy archetype, BDSM identity, power exchange, and the freedom that comes from embracing every side of yourself.We explore: BDSM switches and switch identity.FemDaddy dynamics.Forced feminisation.Gender expression in kink.Communication and empathy.Research article: “Switch it up”: A qualitative analysis of BDSM switches,Supporters of The Erotic Realm:Firm Tech for sexual health tracking here.Splash blanket for intimacy-friendly comfort here.ProDx Health at home STI testing here.Innovative Sex Tech:Lioness here.Kiiroo here.Luxus here.Lovense here.Science-backed libido support:Flow supplement here.Desire supplement here.Interested in Kinky Speed Dating? Register Here.The Erotic Realm now has it’s own merchandise! If you love the show and want to support it check it out here.Visit psychologyofdesire.com to support the podcast, or apply to be a guest. I'd love to chat to you.Thanks for listening!Stay perverted,EmmaSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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#111 The Psychology of Erotic Permission: Julieta Chiara on Submission, Shibari & Becoming Yourself
What happens when you finally give yourself permission to desire what you truly want?In this episode I chat with sex therapist and Shibari practitioner Julieta Chiara to explore the psychology of submission, women's desire, erotic permission, and the transformative power of saying "yes" to yourself.We explore:Women's desire and sexual permission.Submission and empowerment.Shibari and Japanese rope bondage.Why "your first Dom is you".Pain, presence, and transformation.Research article: Are Role and Gender Related to Sexual Function and Satisfaction in Men and Women Practicing BDSM?Supporters of The Erotic Realm:Firm Tech for sexual health tracking here.Splash blanket for intimacy-friendly comfort here.ProDx Health at home STI testing here.Innovative Sex Tech:Lioness here.Kiiroo here.Luxus here.Lovense here.Science-backed libido support:Flow supplement here.Desire supplement here.Interested in Kinky Speed Dating? Register Here.The Erotic Realm now has it’s own merchandise! If you love the show and want to support it check it out here.Visit psychologyofdesire.com to support the podcast, or apply to be a guest. I'd love to chat to you.Thanks for listening!Stay perverted,EmmaSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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#110 The Psychology of Ecstasy: Barbara Carrellas on Tantra, Desire & Human Flourishing
What if sexuality wasn't simply about pleasure—but about becoming more fully alive?Grab your Splashblanket here - don't forget to use the code eroticrealm at checkout for a 10% discount!In this episode I sit down with legendary sexuality educator Barbara Carrellas, author of Urban Tantra and The Book of Ecstasy, to explore tantra, BDSM, conscious sexuality, erotic awakening, and the role pleasure plays in human flourishing.We explore:Sexual flourishing and wellbeing.Non-genital orgasms.Pleasure as a pathway to healing.Emotional armour and vulnerability.Sexuality during the AIDS crisis.The Book of Ecstasy.Research Artile: A new sexual wellbeing paradigm grounded in capability approach concepts of human flourishing and social justice.Supporters of The Erotic Realm:Firm Tech for sexual health tracking here.Splash blanket for intimacy-friendly comfort here.ProDx Health at home STI testing here.Innovative Sex Tech:Lioness here.Kiiroo here.Luxus here.Lovense here.Science-backed libido support:Flow supplement here.Desire supplement here.Interested in Kinky Speed Dating? Register Here.The Erotic Realm now has it’s own merchandise! If you love the show and want to support it check it out here.Visit psychologyofdesire.com to apply to be on the podcast. I'd love to chat to you.Thanks for listening!Stay perverted,EmmaSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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#109 The Mommy Domme: Nurturing Dominance, BDSM & the Psychology of Acceptance with Mistress Mira
What happens when dominance is expressed through care rather than control?In this episode of The Erotic Realm, I sit down with Mistress Mira — professional Dominatrix and Mommy Domme, to explore the psychology of nurturing dominance, BDSM stigma, erotic self-acceptance, and the surprising power of being fully seen.We explore:Mommy Dommes and nurturing dominance.Professional domination vs lifestyle BDSM.BDSM stigma and public misconceptions.Neurodivergence, autism, ADHD and kink.The psychology of erotic self-discovery.Research article: Perceptions of and stigma toward BDSM practitioners.Supporters of The Erotic Realm:Firm Tech for sexual health tracking here.Splash blanket for intimacy-friendly comfort here.ProDx Health at home STI testing here.Innovative Sex Tech:Lioness here.Kiiroo here.Luxus here.Lovense here.Science-backed libido support:Flow supplement here.Desire supplement here.Interested in Kinky Speed Dating? Register Here.The Erotic Realm now has it’s own merchandise! If you love the show and want to support it check it out here.Visit psychologyofdesire.com to apply to be on the podcast. I'd love to chat to you.Thanks for listening!Stay perverted,EmmaSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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#108 The Kink Curious Wife: Marriage, Desire & Erotic Self-Discovery with J
What happens when curiosity about other people's desires leads you to discover your own?In this episode I sit down with J to explore a journey that began with curiosity and evolved into a deeper understanding of kink, intimacy, and erotic identity. Together we discuss her experiences in sex work, her fascination with the psychology of desire, and how joining FetLife to better understand other people's kinks ultimately helped her discover parts of herself she hadn't fully recognised.We explore:Kink curiosity and self-discovery.Introducing a partner to BDSM.Marriage and erotic exploration.Sex work and the psychology of desire.Ownership dynamics and intimacy.Women's pathways into kink.Research book: Women and Kink.Supporters of The Erotic Realm:Firm Tech for sexual health tracking here.Splash blanket for intimacy-friendly comfort here.ProDx Health at home STI testing here.Innovative Sex Tech:Lioness here.Kiiroo here.Luxus here.Lovense here.Science-backed libido support:Flow supplement here.Desire supplement here.Interested in Kinky Speed Dating? Register Here.The Erotic Realm now has it’s own merchandise! If you love the show and want to support it check it out here.Visit psychologyofdesire.com to apply to be on the podcast. I'd love to chat to you.Thanks for listening!Stay perverted,EmmaSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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#107 The Porn Star's Daughter: Unbound Desire, Identity & Sexual Freedom with Laila Ocean
What happens when your earliest education about sexuality comes from growing up around the adult industry?In this episode I chat with filmmaker and storyteller Laila Ocean to explore her unique experience of being the daughter of a porn performer, and how that shaped her understanding of sexuality, relationships, stigma, freedom, and desire.Laila is currently creating Unbound, a documentary exploring sexuality, identity, and the human stories behind the adult industry. We discuss what it was like discovering her father's profession, the assumptions people make about pornography, and how growing up around adult entertainment influenced her own erotic development.Here is the International Documentary Association fundraising page to support Laila's project: https://www.documentary.org/project/unbound-crowned-pleasure or connect with Laila on her Instagram @laila.ocean We explore:Growing up as the child of a porn performer.Sexuality, stigma, and identity formation.The making of the documentary Unbound.Media narratives around sex work and porn.Sexual freedom and cultural expectations.Parenting, sexuality, and honest conversations.Research Article: Adolescents and Pornography: A Review of 20 Years of Research.Supporters of The Erotic Realm:Firm Tech for sexual health tracking here.Splash blanket for intimacy-friendly comfort here.ProDx Health at home STI testing here.Innovative Sex Tech:Lioness here.Kiiroo here.Luxus here.Lovense here.Science-backed libido support:Flow supplement here.Desire supplement here.Interested in Kinky Speed Dating? Register Here.The Erotic Realm now has it’s own merchandise! If you love the show and want to support it check it out here.Visit psychologyofdesire.com to apply to be on the podcast. I'd love to chat to you.Thanks for listening!Stay perverted,EmmaSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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#106 Beyond Vanilla: An Asexual Dominatrix on Power, Discipline & Consent with Ms Hyde
What happens when BDSM isn't really about sex?In this episode I chat with Ms Hyde — an asexual disciplinarian, BDSM educator, life coach, author, and craftsperson — to explore the psychology of power, discipline, communication, and consent.We explore:Asexuality and BDSM.The psychology of discipline.Therapeutic spanking and meaning-making.Beyond Vanilla and BDSM education.Repair, accountability, and relationship growth.Why pleasure and power are not opposites.Research Article: Making Sense of S&M: A Discourse Analytic Account.Supporters of The Erotic Realm:Firm Tech for sexual health tracking here.Splash blanket for intimacy-friendly comfort here.ProDx Health at home STI testing here.Innovative Sex Tech:Lioness here.Kiiroo here.Luxus here.Lovense here.Science-backed libido support:Flow supplement here.Desire supplement here.Interested in Kinky Speed Dating? Register Here.The Erotic Realm now has it’s own merchandise! If you love the show and want to support it check it out here.Visit psychologyofdesire.com to apply to be on the podcast. I'd love to chat to you.Thanks for listening!Stay perverted,EmmaSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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#105 The Nerdy Submissive: Kink, DnD & Neurodivergence with Sarah
What if the people with the richest erotic lives are often the ones you'd least expect?In this episode I sit down with Sarah—a self-described nerdy submissive to explore the intersection of kink, neurodivergence, fantasy, imagination, and hidden desire.We explore:The psychology of submission.Neurodivergence and kink.Dungeons & Dragons and erotic imagination.Hidden desires and secret erotic worlds.Non-extreme BDSM and everyday kink.Fantasy, belonging, and finding your tribe.Research article: The Prevalence of BDSM in Finland and the Association between BDSM Interest and Personality Traits.Supporters of The Erotic Realm:Firm Tech for sexual health tracking here.Splash blanket for intimacy-friendly comfort here.ProDx Health at home STI testing here.Innovative Sex Tech:Lioness here.Kiiroo here.Luxus here.Lovense here.Science-backed libido support:Flow supplement here.Desire supplement here.Interested in Kinky Speed Dating? Register Here.The Erotic Realm now has it’s own merchandise! If you love the show and want to support it check it out here.Visit psychologyofdesire.com to apply to be on the podcast. I'd love to chat to you.Thanks for listening!Stay perverted,EmmaSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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#104 The Rope Dominant: Shibari, Power & the Psychology of Surrender with Mark DeViate
Why do some people describe rope as a pathway into trust, presence, and altered states of consciousness?In this episode I sit down with Mark DeViate — Dominant, rope practitioner, polyamorous relationship veteran, and long-time member of the BDSM community, to explore the psychology of surrender, ethical dominance, and the transformative potential of connection-based kink.We explore:• The psychology of ethical dominance.• Shibari, rope bondage, and surrender.• Topspace, flow states, and altered consciousness.• Performance-based kink vs connection-based kink.• Long-term polyamory and relationship longevity.Research article: The Biology of BDSM: A Systematic ReviewSupporters of The Erotic Realm:Firm Tech for sexual health tracking here.Splash blanket for intimacy-friendly comfort here.ProDx Health at home STI testing here.Innovative Sex Tech:Lioness here.Kiiroo here.Luxus here.Lovense here.Science-backed libido support:Flow supplement here.Desire supplement here.Interested in Kinky Speed Dating? Register Here.The Erotic Realm now has it’s own merchandise! If you love the show and want to support it check it out here.Visit psychologyofdesire.com to apply to be on the podcast. I'd love to chat to you.Thanks for listening!Stay perverted,EmmaSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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#103 The Trauma-Informed Mistress: Healing, Power and Kink with JDominatrix
Can kink help people heal trauma—or is that a dangerous misunderstanding?In this episode I sit down with JDominatrix, a trauma-informed kink educator, Mistress, sadist, and community leader, to explore one of the most debated topics in BDSM: the relationship between trauma, healing, and erotic power.We explore:Trauma-informed approaches to BDSMCan kink become part of healing?Consent, trust, and ethical power exchangeThe psychology of Dominance and submissionRunning a dungeon and teaching kinkCommunity, growth, and erotic empowermentResearch article: Trauma-Informed Kink HealingSupporters of The Erotic Realm:Firm Tech for sexual health tracking here.Splash blanket for intimacy-friendly comfort here.ProDx Health at home STI testing here.Innovative Sex Tech:Lioness here.Kiiroo here.Luxus here.Lovense here.Science-backed libido support:Flow supplement here.Desire supplement here.Interested in Kinky Speed Dating? Register Here.The Erotic Realm now has it’s own merchandise! If you love the show and want to support it check it out here.Visit psychologyofdesire.com to apply to be on the podcast. I'd love to chat to you.Thanks for listening!Stay perverted,EmmaSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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#102 The Desired Older Woman: Aging, Noetisexuality & Erotic Reawakening with Brookiana
What happens when a woman stops believing the myth that desire belongs only to the young?In this episode I’m joined by Brookiana to explore aging, erotic reinvention, and the psychology of becoming desired again.We explore:Noetisexuality and attraction to intellect and depth.Aging, femininity, and erotic reinvention.Returning to sexuality after abstinence.Why younger men are drawn to emotionally mature women.Writing erotica and reclaiming erotic identity later in life.Research article: Sex and the (older) single girl: Experiences of sex and dating in later life.Supporters of The Erotic Realm:Firm Tech for sexual health tracking here.Splash blanket for intimacy-friendly comfort here.ProDx Health at home STI testing here.Innovative Sex Tech:Lioness here.Kiiroo here.Luxus here.Lovense here.Science-backed libido support:Flow supplement here.Desire supplement here.Interested in Kinky Speed Dating? Register Here.The Erotic Realm now has it’s own merchandise! If you love the show and want to support it check it out here.Visit psychologyofdesire.com to apply to be on the podcast. I'd love to chat to you.Thanks for listening!Stay perverted,EmmaSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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#101 The Ecology of Desire: Queer Eroticism, Nature & Connection with Sketchy
What happens when desire is no longer seen as something personal — but something ecological?In this episode I’m joined by Sketchy to explore the intersection of queer identity, biology, and erotic connection. We unpack the idea of “the ecology of desire” — where attraction, intimacy, and sexuality are not just internal experiences, but relational processes shaped by our connection to the world around us.We explore:The concept of the ecology of desire.Queer erotics and nature as inherently diverse.Biology, symbiosis, and intimacy.Desire as relational rather than individual.Kink, identity, and connection beyond the self.Research article: Queer Ecologies: Sex, Nature, Politics, Desire.VOTE for The Erotic Realm to win best podcast here. Thanks for voting!Supporters of The Erotic Realm:Firm Tech for sexual health tracking here.Splash blanket for intimacy-friendly comfort here.ProDx Health at home STI testing here.Innovative Sex Tech:Lioness here.Kiiroo here.Luxus here.Lovense here.Science-backed libido support:Flow supplement here.Desire supplement here.Interested in Kinky Speed Dating? Register Here.The Erotic Realm now has it’s own merchandise! If you love the show and want to support it check it out here.Visit psychologyofdesire.com to apply to be on the podcast. I'd love to chat to you.Thanks for listening!Stay perverted,EmmaSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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#100 The Choice to Be Owned: Slave Psychology with Daniika
What happens when surrender isn’t weakness — but identity?In this episode I’m joined by Daniika — a submissive, masochist, and self-described slave exploring the psychology of power, pain, and total surrender.We explore:The psychology of masochism and meaning in pain.What “slave” and “ownership” actually mean in BDSM.24/7 power exchange in real life.Kink, identity, and the idea of orientation.Neurodivergence, structure, and erotic regulation.Research article: The Kink Orientation Scale: Developing and Validating a Measure of Kink Desire, Practice, and Identity.VOTE for The Erotic Realm to win best podcast here. Thanks for voting!Supporters of The Erotic Realm:Firm Tech for sexual health tracking here.Splash blanket for intimacy-friendly comfort here.ProDx Health at home STI testing here.Innovative Sex Tech:Lioness here.Kiiroo here.Luxus here.Lovense here.Science-backed libido support:Flow supplement here.Desire supplement here.Interested in Kinky Speed Dating? Register Here.The Erotic Realm now has it’s own merchandise! If you love the show and want to support it check it out here.Visit psychologyofdesire.com to apply to be on the podcast. I'd love to chat to you.Thanks for listening!Stay perverted,EmmaSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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#99 The Brat Submissive: Power, Play & the Psychology of Submission with Jade
What happens when submission isn’t about obedience — but about play, tension, and choice?In this episode of I’m joined by Jade — a bisexual, bratty submissive navigating the psychological complexity of power, identity, and desire across both kink and swinging spaces.We explore:The psychology of brat energy and boundary play.Submission as choice vs identity.Kink vs swinging: key psychological differences.Navigating marriage alongside a D/s dynamic.Why people may already be engaging in BDSM without knowing it.Research article: From Fantasy to Communication: BDSM Engagement, Sexual Experience Breadth, and Pleasure Deservingness Among College Women.VOTE for The Erotic Realm to win best podcast here. Thanks for voting!Supporters of The Erotic Realm:Firm Tech for sexual health tracking here.Splash blanket for intimacy-friendly comfort here.ProDx Health at home STI testing here.Innovative Sex Tech:Lioness here.Kiiroo here.Luxus here.Lovense here.Science-backed libido support:Flow supplement here.Desire supplement here.Interested in Kinky Speed Dating? Register Here.The Erotic Realm now has it’s own merchandise! If you love the show and want to support it check it out here.Visit psychologyofdesire.com to apply to be on the podcast. I'd love to chat to you.Thanks for listening!Stay perverted,EmmaSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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#98 Born Kinky? Submission, Trust & Erotic Freedom with Alixx Amour
What happens when submission isn’t about giving up power - but finding freedom through it?In this episode I’m joined by Alixx Amour to explore a question that has fascinated me for years: Are some people born kinky? We talk about early awareness of submissive desire, the psychology of trust, sexual agency in BDSM, and whether kink can feel less like something learned and more like something recognised.We explore:Are some people born kinky?Submission as freedom rather than weakness.Trust, TPE and red flags in power exchange.What filming for Kink.com revealed about fantasy vs reality.Erotic belonging, community and finding your people.Research article: From Fantasy to Communication: BDSM Engagement, Sexual Experience Breadth, and Pleasure Deservingness Among College Women.VOTE for The Erotic Realm to win best podcast here. Thanks for voting!Supporters of The Erotic Realm:Firm Tech for sexual health tracking here.Splash blanket for intimacy-friendly comfort here.ProDx Health at home STI testing here.Innovative Sex Tech:Lioness here.Kiiroo here.Luxus here.Lovense here.Science-backed libido support:Flow supplement here.Desire supplement here.Interested in Kinky Speed Dating? Register Here.The Erotic Realm now has it’s own merchandise! If you love the show and want to support it check it out here.Visit psychologyofdesire.com to apply to be on the podcast. I'd love to chat to you.Thanks for listening!Stay perverted,EmmaSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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#97 Can Kink Heal Trauma? Power, Asexuality & TPE with Aidan Sunassee
What happens when kink is explored not just as desire but as a possible site of growth, agency, and healing?In this episode I’m joined by Aidan Sunassee — sexologist, researcher and Dominant to explore one of the most nuanced and controversial questions in BDSM psychology: can kink ever support healing from trauma?We explore:Can kink support healing from trauma?Asexuality and erotic power.Total Power Exchange and ethical dominance.Intentional vs incidental trauma play.Growth-oriented dominance vs control-based dominance.VOTE for The Erotic Realm to win best podcast here. Thanks for voting!Research article: Pleasure as a Catalyst for Post-Traumatic Growth and Courage Gain in Trauma PlaySupporters of The Erotic Realm:Firm Tech for sexual health tracking here.Splash blanket for intimacy-friendly comfort here.ProDx Health at home STI testing here.Innovative Sex Tech:Lioness here.Kiiroo here.Luxus here.Lovense here.Science-backed libido support:Flow supplement here.Desire supplement here.Interested in Kinky Speed Dating? Register Here.The Erotic Realm now has it’s own merchandise! If you love the show and want to support it check it out here.Visit psychologyofdesire.com to apply to be on the podcast. I'd love to chat to you.Thanks for listening!Stay perverted,EmmaSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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#96 Kink Is My Superpower: Gay Leather, Erotic Freedom & Power with Race Bannon
What happens when kink becomes not just a practice but a path to freedom?In this episode I’m joined by Race Bannon — legendary BDSM educator, leatherman and author of Kink Is My Superpower to explore gay leather culture, power exchange, and the psychology of erotic freedom.We explore:Gay leather history and the evolution of BDSM culture.Dominance, submission and the psychology of switching.HIV, pup identities and changing queer erotic communities.Kink as identity, belonging and liberation.Can kink become a superpower?VOTE for The Erotic Realm to win best podcast here. Thanks for voting!Research article: Faeries, Bears, and Leathermen: Men in Community Queering the Masculine.Supporters of The Erotic Realm:Firm Tech for sexual health tracking here.Splash blanket for intimacy-friendly comfort here.ProDx Health at home STI testing here.Innovative Sex Tech:Lioness here.Kiiroo here.Luxus here.Lovense here.Science-backed libido support:Flow supplement here.Desire supplement here.Interested in Kinky Speed Dating? Register Here.The Erotic Realm now has it’s own merchandise! If you love the show and want to support it check it out here.Visit psychologyofdesire.com to apply to be on the podcast. I'd love to chat to you.Thanks for listening!Stay perverted,EmmaSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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#95 The Science of Erections: Heart Health, Masculinity & Quantified Desire with Dr. Elliot Justin
What happens when erections are understood not just as sexual function — but as health data?In this episode I’m joined by Dr. Elliot Justin, emergency physician and founder of FirmTech, to explore the surprising intersection of sexual wellness, preventative medicine and quantified desire.We explore:Erections as early cardiac warning signals.The real definition of erectile dysfunction.Five questions every man should ask about erectile health.Sextech, intimacy wearables and quantified desire.Can kinky communities and biohackers use erection tracking too?VOTE for The Erotic Realm to win best podcast here. Thanks for voting!Research article: Erectile dysfunction as a harbinger for increased cardiometabolic risk.Supporters of The Erotic Realm:Firm Tech for sexual health tracking here.Splash blanket for intimacy-friendly comfort here.ProDx Health at home STI testing here.Innovative Sex Tech:Lioness here.Kiiroo here.Luxus here.Lovense here.Science-backed libido supportFlow supplement here.Desire supplement here.Interested in Kinky Speed Dating? Register Here.The Erotic Realm now has it’s own merchandise! If you love the show and want to support it check it out here.Visit psychologyofdesire.com to apply to be on the podcast. I'd love to chat to you.Thanks for listening!Stay perverted,EmmaSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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#94 The Kink Shrink: Consent, Power & Erotic Accountability with Debs
What happens when consent is treated as more than a checklist and power becomes an ethical practice?In this episode I’m joined by Debs (The Kink Shrink) — therapist, educator and long-time kink practitioner to explore the psychology of consent, accountability and mature power exchange.We explore:Consent versus embodied accountability.BDSM, therapy and clinician bias.Free will, law and ethical power exchange.Compassion, boundaries and mature submission.What kink culture gets right — and where it struggles.VOTE for The Erotic Realm to win best podcast here. Thanks for voting!Research article: Investigating Bias in Psychotherapy with BDSM Clients.Interested in Kinky Speed Dating? Register Here.The Erotic Realm now has it’s own merchandise! If you love the show and want to support it check it out here.Visit psychologyofdesire.com to apply to be on the podcast. I'd love to chat to you.Thanks for listening!Stay perverted,EmmaSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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#93 The Neurodivergent Sadist: Autism, Power & Kink Evolution with Umbra
What happens when autism meets BDSM and kink becomes a language of structure, sensation, and connection?In this episode I’m joined by Umbra — a Dominant, sadist, and long-time kink practitioner to explore the psychology of neurodivergent desire and the evolution of kink across decades.We explore:Autism, neurodivergence & erotic identity.BDSM as structure, communication & sensory regulation.Sadism, bastinado & the psychology of impact play.Finding your tribe in kink communities.How kink has evolved from underground scenes to global networks.VOTE for The Erotic Realm to win best podcast here. Thanks for voting!Research article: Stimulation and Stimming: S&M on the Spectrum.Interested in Kinky Speed Dating? Register Here.The Erotic Realm now has it’s own merchandise! If you love the show and want to support it check it out here.Visit psychologyofdesire.com to apply to be on the podcast. I'd love to chat to you.Thanks for listening!Stay perverted,EmmaSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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#92 Decolonizing Sex: Sacred BDSM, Black Love & Erotic Power with King Noire
What does it mean to decolonize sex and who gets to define desire?In this episode I’m joined by King Noire — award-winning performer, educator, and founder of Royal Fetish Films — to explore the intersection of BDSM, culture, and identity. We unpack how sexuality is shaped by history, race, and power — and what it looks like to reclaim erotic expression in a way that is intentional, ethical, and culturally aware.VOTE for The Erotic Realm to win best podcast here. Thanks for voting!We explore:Decolonizing sex and reclaiming erotic identity.BDSM as connection, not just power or pain.Black love, representation, and cultural narratives.Sacred sex and erotic storytelling.Creativity, music, and dominance.Research article: Hormonal Changes and Couple Bonding in Consensual Sadomasochistic Activity.Interested in Kinky Speed Dating? Register Here.The Erotic Realm now has it’s own merchandise! If you love the show and want to support it check it out here.Visit psychologyofdesire.com to apply to be on the podcast. I'd love to chat to you.Thanks for listening!Stay perverted,EmmaSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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#91 The Intimacy Paradox: Vulnerability, Safety & Desire with Rachel Dorneanu
VOTE for The Erotic Realm to win best podcast here. Thanks for voting!What if the reason intimacy feels hard isn’t lack of attraction — but lack of safety?In this episode I’m joined by Rachel Dorneanu — relationship and sex therapist — to explore the psychology of intimacy, vulnerability, and emotional connection.We explore:Vulnerability and emotional safety in relationships.Conservative upbringing and sexual shame.Communication and what makes a “safe partner”.Arranged marriages and cultural dynamics.Highly Sensitive People and intimacy.Research Article: Sensory-Processing Sensitivity and Its Relation to Introversion and Emotionality.Interested in Kinky Speed Dating? Register Here.The Erotic Realm now has it’s own merchandise! If you love the show and want to support it check it out here.Visit psychologyofdesire.com to apply to be on the podcast. I'd love to chat to you.Thanks for listening!Stay perverted,EmmaSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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#90 The Banned Sex Educator: Film, Shame & Sexual Freedom with Dr. Mark Schoen
What happens when sex education is left to shame, silence, and the internet?In this episode, I’m joined by Dr. Mark Schoen — sex educator, filmmaker, and founder of SexSmartFilms — to explore what decades of teaching human sexuality have revealed about shame, censorship, and sexual freedom.We explore: What decades of sex education have taught Mark about desire. Banned books, censorship, and why sexual honesty still scares people. How film can teach what classrooms often miss. Cultural differences in sexual messaging. Mark’s work with William Masters, Betty Dodson, and his transgender film project.Research Article: X-Rated: Sexual Attitudes and Behaviors Associated With U.S. Adolescents’ Exposure to Sexually Explicit Media.Interested in Kinky Speed Dating? Register Here.The Erotic Realm now has it’s own merchandise! If you love the show and want to support it check it out here.Visit psychologyofdesire.com to apply to be on the podcast. I'd love to chat to you.Thanks for listening!Stay perverted,EmmaSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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#89 The Asexual Dominant: Female Dominance, Power & Desire with GoddessMey
What happens when someone experiences little to no sexual attraction — but still has a deeply erotic life?In this episode I’m joined by GoddessMey — a dominant, sadomasochist, and asexual-spectrum kinkster — to explore the intersection of asexuality and BDSM.We explore:Asexuality and erotic identity.Female dominance and power exchange.Sadism, masochism, and sensation.Ethical findom and consent.Redefining desire beyond attraction.Research Article: Asexuality: prevalence and associated factors in a national probability sample.Love Erotica? Don't forget to go to callmephoenix.com and use the promo code IOBEYEMMA for $5 off any audio! use as many times as you like.Interested in Kinky Speed Dating? Register Here.The Erotic Realm now has it’s own merchandise! If you love the show and want to support it check it out here.Visit psychologyofdesire.com to apply to be on the podcast. I'd love to chat to you.Thanks for listening!Stay perverted,EmmaSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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#88 The Dominant CEO: Ethical Power & Erotic Leadership with Leadfromfront
What if leadership isn’t about control but responsibility?In this episode I’m joined by Leadfromfront — a 75-year-old retired CEO and Dominant — to explore the psychology of power, leadership, and ethical authority.We explore:Leadership vs domination in BDSM.Consent as the foundation of power.The difference between hurt and harm.Ethical sadism and attunement.Aging, desire, and erotic longevity.Research book: The Power Paradox: How We Gain and Lose Influence.Love Erotica? Don't forget to go to callmephoenix.com and use the promo code IOBEYEMMA for $5 off any audio! use as many times as you like.Interested in Kinky Speed Dating? Register Here.The Erotic Realm now has it’s own merchandise! If you love the show and want to support it check it out here.Visit psychologyofdesire.com to apply to be on the podcast. I'd love to chat to you.Thanks for listening!Stay perverted,EmmaSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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#87 No Children, No Shame: Sterilisation, Sex Work & Erotic Freedom with Katija Cortez
What happens when a woman chooses her body, her career, and her desire — outside of expectation?In this episode I’m joined by Katija Cortez — a submissive, content creator, and professional girlfriend — to explore female autonomy, sterilisation, and the psychology of erotic agency.We explore:Sterilisation and voluntary childlessness.Stigma, autonomy, and cultural expectations.Sex work, desire, and emotional connection.The paradox of being both sovereign and submissive.How choice reshapes erotic identity.Research article: Stigma Management Among the Voluntarily Childless.Love Erotica? Don't forget to go to callmephoenix.com and use the promo code IOBEYEMMA for $5 off any audio! use as many times as you like.Interested in Kinky Speed Dating? Register Here.The Erotic Realm now has it’s own merchandise! If you love the show and want to support it check it out here.Visit psychologyofdesire.com to apply to be on the podcast. I'd love to chat to you.Thanks for listening!Stay perverted,EmmaSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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#86 The Sexual Mastery Coach: Masculinity, Stamina & Erotic Presence with Kevin Anthony
What happens when sexual mastery becomes about presence, not performance?In this episode I’m joined by Kevin Anthony — sexologist, tantra counsellor, and men’s sexual mastery coach — to explore the psychology of masculinity, ejaculation, and erotic presence.We explore:Ejaculation, stamina, and sexual control.Masculinity and performance anxiety.Tantra as a lived erotic practice.Polyamory and emotional intelligence.Grief, loss, and erotic continuity.Research article: Men's gender role conflict: Psychological costs, consequences, and an agenda for change.Love Erotica? Don't forget to go to callmephoenix.com and use the promo code IOBEYEMMA for $5 off any audio! use as many times as you like.Interested in Kinky Speed Dating? Register Here.The Erotic Realm now has it’s own merchandise! If you love the show and want to support it check it out here.Visit psychologyofdesire.com to apply to be on the podcast. I'd love to chat to you.Thanks for listening!Stay perverted,EmmaSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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#85 The Neurodivergent Dominant: Pattern Recognition, Power & Erotic Connection with Kritikl
What happens when the way your brain works becomes part of your erotic identity?In this episode I’m joined by Kritikl — a neurodivergent Dominant, sadist, rigger, and community space curator — to explore the intersection of autism, power, and desire.You may recognise his voice from the earlier Kink Intentions episode — and here, we go deeper into how his neurodivergence shapes the way he experiences connection, dominance, and kink.We explore:Neurodivergence and erotic identity.Pattern recognition as a form of connection.Dominance, sadism, and ethical power.Rope, sensory experience, and embodiment.Creating safe spaces for neurodivergent kinksters.Research Article: Autism, Sexuality, and BDSM.Love Erotica? Don't forget to go to callmephoenix.com and use the promo code IOBEYEMMA for $5 off any audio! use as many times as you like.Interested in Kinky Speed Dating? Register Here.The Erotic Realm now has it’s own merchandise! If you love the show and want to support it check it out here.Visit psychologyofdesire.com to apply to be on the podcast. I'd love to chat to you.Thanks for listening!Stay perverted,EmmaSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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ABOUT THIS SHOW
The Erotic Realm is the world's leading Erotic Psychology podcast, exploring the psychology of desire, kink, intimacy and erotic identity through conversations with kinksters, researchers, educators and experts.Hosted by Emma, Sexologist and founder of Psychology of Desire, each episode explores the erotic realm of an individual one on one with a deep dive into their erotic psychology.Join Emma and discover what your desires might be trying to teach you.www.psychologyofdesire.com
HOSTED BY
Emma | Psychology of Desire
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