The Fifth Column
by Kmele Foster, Michael Moynihan, and Matt Welch
Your weekly rhetorical assault on the on the news cycle, the people who make it, and occasionally ourselves. Kmele Foster (Freethink), Michael Moynihan (Vice), and Matt Welch (Reason) talk and laugh and drink their way to at least quasi-sanity in a world gone mad, often with the aid of clean and articulate guests. Weekly Members Only subscription edition often comes with listener mail and professional-quality (if inappropriate) singing. Analysis. Commentary. Sedition. www.wethefifth.com
Episodes
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Socialists Go to Washington, Trump Goes to Hell (w/ Michael Powell) #583
This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.wethefifth.com/subscribe You have one last chance to go to Connecticut and see the guys, LIVE, on stage, Thursday, November 12. Not going? Go fuck yourself. -Guinea Park -The...
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Jared of Arabia (w/ Matthew Cole) - Members Only #353
This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.wethefifth.com The guys are joined by investigative journalist Matthew Cole, author of Princes and Thieves: Jared Kushner and Mohamed bin Zayed's Secret Plot to Remake the Middle East (Bookshop | Amazon) •Jon Ossoff sounds like…
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The Morning After Midterm Madness (Ep. #582)
Where were you when AMERICA DECIDED? Were you watching our livestream? Were you at the super-exclusive party that, as of this writing, is still raging on? Were you injecting Substack’s election hub straight into your veins? If so, you’ll have no need for this audio-only selection of the best...
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One Hitter: Midterm Madness Pregame
-COME SEE US IN CONNECTICUT. We may never release this special episode, because the things we will talk about will be horrifically controversial. -Which party will win the Senate? -Dirty Dems in Alaska done found another Dan Sullivan -the TX Senate race…are we sure Texans are that titillated by...
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A Socialist Walks Into The Fifth Column (w/ Bhaskar Sunkara) #581
-we found someone from the DSA brave enough to come on this show -The Cajun French of Indians -If you’re pro-abundance, why are you a socialist? -DSA and the midterms -Biden’s heart was in the right place, but his body was...not -AOC, DAC, and Zohran -The Left’s remarkable talent for…
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The President Is No Longer Taking Calls (w/ Edward Luce) MO #352
This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.wethefifth.com Ed Luce joins the guys to discuss Trump’s corruption, the persistence of populism, and the uncertain future of Western democracy. -DC is beautiful and beige and on the spectrum -Don Jr.’s corruption and a Watergate...
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Donald Trump is Gay (Episode #580)
-Fairfield, CT. Nov 12th. Get tickets while you can -We will have an Election Night livestream. Booze, guests, and probable disaster -Our mystery guest didn’t couldn’t make it today. We won’t name names, but we’ll give you some subtle clues. -Steve Witkoff discovered Vladimir Putin’s humanitarian...
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The End of the Special Relationship? (w/ Jacob Siegel) Members Only #351
This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.wethefifth.com We are doing a live show in Fairfield, CT on November 12th. You should come. Details below. -Jacob Siegel on raising his kids in Israel -Who benefits from a fractured US-Israel relationship? -JD Vance had…
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Why the Midterms Are Turning Against Trump (w/ Nate Silver) Members Only #350
This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.wethefifth.com The guys put America’s most famous political forecaster, Nate Silver, to work… separating real electoral shifts from political noise, and confronting the uncomfortable possibility that everyone is just guessing. -The...
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Can the Democratic Center Hold? (#579)
Yes, we want accolades. Yes, we’re shamelessly asking for your vote: VOTE for The Fifth Column as the Best News & Politics Show Yemisi Egbewole is here and we will figure out how to pronounce her name….next time -A Democratic consultant defending Fox News out of the gate -Was Mike Lindell ever...
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People Who Lie and People Who Die (w/ Sam Roberts) Members Only #349
This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.wethefifth.com “There are no ordinary lives and everyone has a story” -Sam Roberts’ father takes him to see the Rosenbergs’ funeral -Fifty years in journalism and an unexpected career writing obituaries -Anna Nicole Smith and the...
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Europe Is Melting, Meritocracy Is Racist, and Everyone Gets Dignity (Episode #578)
Did we mention we’re nominated…did you vote yet? If not, what in the actual fuck is your problem? -all the bad words are here -come to Fairfield on November 12th! (https://quickcenter.fairfield.edu/2026-27-season-calendar/lectures/the-fifth-column-podcast.html) -Trump in Nebraska….always a good...
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One Hitter: Why Oil Prices Could Get Much Worse (w/ Marshall Adkins) Members Only #348
This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.wethefifth.com Marshall spent 25 years covering oil and gas at Raymond James before retiring this week. He joins the guys to explain what’s actually driving prices higher, why diesel matters more than most people realize, and how...
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The Weave Within the Weave (#577)
…and Moynihan discusses Harvard’s artist in residence. Also, we’ve been nominated for something! vote for us in for the Signal Awards! -Kmele’s Cross-Country Trail of Tears -Trump Praises the Latinos -Yukon Cornelius and the Bumble -Coming Soon: Jason’s Weird Fetishes -Trump Talks to Time -The...
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Sarah Hepola and the Life You Didn’t Choose (Members Only #347)
This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.wethefifth.com Finally, a break from politics and a discussion about…love. If you like Sarah, check out her podcast with friend of The Fifth Column Nancy Rommelmann Smoke 'Em If You Got 'Em Podcast -Sarah is back on the wagon (not...
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The UN, Wokeness, and Other Failed Institutions (Members Only #346)
This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.wethefifth.com -being gay, doing drugs, that’s the Szeps life -Moynihan’s anti-Australian bigotry -the Lupita Nyong’o pronunciation challenge -Why is daddy wearing boobs? -this actor can play any ethnicity -Josh’s dad, the George...
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The Algorithm Is the Editor-in-Chief (w/ David Pakman) Members Only #345
This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.wethefifth.com -Pakman is a fan of this show. Will he regret saying this? -Kmele’s cult-adjacent upbringing -Pakman’s Argentina upbringing -Macklemore, Robert Kraft and the limits of independent media -Do people actually control...
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The Loyal Republican w/ Scott Jennings (#576)
And is he gonna get that press secretary job or not? -Jennings the teetotaler -wtf happened to Moynihan’s hair? -Jennings’ working-class Kentucky origin story -back when Kentucky + West Virginia were swing states -Rush Limbaugh + Paul Harvey University -what would Rush make of $9K for…
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Academically Unserious With Authoritarian Bureaucratic Aspirations (w/ Tyler Austin Harper) Members Only #344
This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.wethefifth.com Tyler Austin Harper, staff writer for The Atlantic and co-host of the Time To Say Goodbye podcast joins Michael C. Moynihan & Matt Welch to talk about extreme fishing, picking socialsts as your fighters, and his…
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AI Might Kill Us. Here’s Why It Matters: w/ Jim VandeHei (#575)
-Simplify, simplify, simplify… -Do people like Jim as a boss? -The two things to screen for in prospective employees -The humility of Mike Allen -AI and the newsroom -The way you consume news is about to completely change -Are we at the Napster stage of AI? -The demand for local news didn’t die...
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The Things We Thought After 9/11 (#574)
-RIP Andrew Wimsatt, a true friend of the show and beloved member of the Fifth Column community -And in lighter news, it’s the 25th anniversary of 9/11 -Trump’s 9/11 story -Why we’re called The Fifth Column -When Matt Welch welcomed us to war -Moynihan moved to New York on September 10, 2001 -How...
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The Department Formerly Known as Justice (w/ Devlin Barrett) MO 343
This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.wethefifth.com As well as Epstein, and the conspiracy theories that refuse to die -the most famous person from Troy, NY? -shut your whore mouth, Producer Jason -we actually do have a serious guest today -a radical re-purposing of…
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Conspiracy Theories Never Die (w/ James B. Meigs) #573
Jim is a Senior Fellow at the Manhattan Institute and a Wall Street Journal columnist -The tractor beam of sexuality -James B. Meigs is here -Tucker Carlson is just asking questions. He’s less interested in the answers -It’s 9/11 season. Call in the OG debunker -Jet fuel didn’t have to melt steel...
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It Was All Just a Joke (Members Only #342)
This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.wethefifth.com Look who decided to come back for this episode! (for the visually impaired, it’s the one and only Kmele Foster) -A Caribbean anti-colonial fantasy -A gay Lady Chatterley’s Lover… and hockey -Oh, Milo -Because it’s...
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Canada Calls Trump’s Bluff (#572)
Holy shit, The Moynihan Report has RETURNED. Watch the episode, subscribe on YouTube, and sign up for Moynihan’s Substack while you’re at it. Now, back to the Fifth: -why you have to watch this podcast -Sanna Marin…for the policy -Finding Kmele Foster -Welch returns from Montreal to report that…
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Bad Writing, Good Journalism, and AI (w/ Ben Smith) MO #341
This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.wethefifth.com How does Semafor make money and what is the best magazine in the world? Well…why don’t you smash that subscribe button and/or whip out that credit card if you want the real insider information from media’s best?…
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Seize the Means of Conservatism (w/ Stephanie Slade) MO #340
This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.wethefifth.com Stephanie Slade’s new book, Fusionism: Liberty, Virtue, and the Future of the American Right, is available for pre-order now! -J.D. Vance seizes the means of production -Let’s define “conservative” in case you forgot...
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Clip Roulette w/ Dictators, Demons and Democracy (Episode #571)
-Greetings…oh, fuck -Welch has a bone to pick with Ben Dreyfuss -Clip Roulette -Tucker and the Demon Bomb -Jason Arday, martyr? -The Jonah Lehrer comparison -The Samantha Power mic disaster -Fuck you Joaquin -John Mearsheimer, Stephen F. Cohen and the Russian apologists -Ukraine didn’t go away...
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Terry Moran and the Network News Autopsy (Members Only #339)
This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.wethefifth.com We’re joined by former ABC News senior national correspondent Terry Moran, who now publishes Real Patriotism with Terry Moran on Substack and hosts a podcast of the same name on YouTube. -Terry reads that tweet…
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The Politics of Pretending (Episode #570)
-Kmele is out of Adderall -Did anybody actually watch this Tucker and Hunter interview? -“Montrosity” and other difficult words -The adventures of Proximity Hong -The curious case of Jason Arday -Is there any chance Jesse Singal is racist? -AOC discovers Woke 1.0 was crazy -Shane Gillis and the...
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A Man of 1989 (w/ David Frum) #569
-a pre-obit for the esteemed David Frum -involuntarily unionized at The Atlantic -spy novels, bureaucrats and expense reports -turning down Bill Buckley’s golden ticket -prosperity, security and how quickly it can all disappear -Frum is forever a man of 1989 -God makes you lucky, then convinces…
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Out of Whiskey and Reaching for the Rotgut (Members Only #338)
This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.wethefifth.com Michael Moynihan has returned from his Italian sojourn where he barely escaped arrest… -Moynihan has the clap or something -Who exactly is the demographic for this show? -Moynihan’s European vacation involved bus...
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The Admirably Irresponsible Journalist w/ John R. MacArthur (Members Only #337)
This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.wethefifth.com So that’s where these Genius Grants come from… -Most roads lead back to Prague for Matt Welch -about that letter…six paragraphs, $5 million in free publicity and Harper’s back in the mainstream -It was NAFTA, not…
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The Fifth Gets a Substitute Teacher (w/ Jesse Singal) #568
Jesse Singal of Blocked and Reported and Singal-Minded fills Michael Moynihan’s special diabetic chair to discuss Fauci’s diaries, broken institutions, runaway AI, LeBron and Mamdani Mart. -Moynihan out, Jesse Singal in -Bari Weiss hired everyone except Jesse -The Prince of Science re-enrages...
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The Temple Is Rich. The Monks Are Poor (w/ Frank Dikötter) Members Only #336
This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.wethefifth.com Frank Dikötter is a senior fellow at Stanford University’s Hoover Institution and one of the foremost historians of modern China. His research in overlooked and restricted Communist Party archives has transformed our...
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I Don’t Make Mistakes Anymore. They’re Just Lies (w/ Chris Cuomo) #567
We talk about what the media still gets wrong about Trump, what losing CNN did to him, and why he believes more political violence is coming. -Kmele sizes Chris up and… is this podcast 10% gay? -From Fox, to ABC, to CNN -Did the media make Trump president? -Celebrity, discontent and everything…
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The Gold-Plated Imperial Presidency (w/ Maggie Haberman) Members Only #335
This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.wethefifth.com Regime Change: Inside the Imperial Presidency of Donald Trump, co-written with Jonathan Swan, is out now. -yes, he superglues the gold fixtures in the Oval Office -Maggie Haberman and her very irritating competitor...
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The Denial of Reality Is a Powerful Drug (w/ Bret Stephens) - Members Only #334
This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.wethefifth.com -Bret Stephens, Mexican? -Bret’s naked grandmother and the Trotsky/Diego Rivera/Frida Kahlo connection -The family saga of Stalinists, refugees and Reagan Republicans -Learning to love America through tap water and...
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There Is No They - #566
-The many sins of fattie John J. Cafaro -The Moynihan Report will return -Hand jobs and the intellectual life of West Hollywood -Release the Welch canceled-songs playlist -The Iran deal is dead. The war is back. -Why did Iran blow it up? Why does a dog lick his balls? -Air power has never toppled…
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Failing "The God Test" (w/ Robert Wright) - Members Only #333
This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.wethefifth.com Robert Wright’s new book The God Test: Artificial Intelligence and Our Coming Cosmic Reckoning, is out now (Bookshop | Amazon) •“Conference” = group sex •21 years of successfully avoiding podcast wealth •Interviewing...
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Are We the Baddies? The Graham Platner Reckoning (w/ Kat Rosenfield) - #565
The great Kat Rosenfield joins us to discuss the ongoing fallout from rape allegations against Maine U.S. Senate candidate Graham Platner published Monday by Politico. When you’re a star, they let you mispronounce their name. •The Fifth Column (whiskey) sells out! •America’s birthday month...
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The Revolution Will Be Staffed by PhDs (w/co-host Peter Meijer) - #564
-The Fifth Column whiskey racket begins -Matt moves during a heat wave… Peter Meijer reports for duty -Meijer, class traitor, explains the pied-à-terre tax -Mayor Mamdani balances the budget, if you ignore the bailout -Kmele gets Hayek’d -Machine politics was bad, but graduate student politics is...
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Adam Carolla Has Nowhere Else to Go (Members Only #332)
This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.wethefifth.com Also: a serious discussion of the cinematic category known as “movies where they clearly came up with the title first.” -The N-word trap at the Hudson Yards gym -Joe Jackson dressed for the evil dad part -Phil…
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One-Hitter: Sarah Isgur Explains the Supreme Court’s Big Finish (Members Only #331)
This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.wethefifth.com We are lucky to be joined once again by Executive Editor of SCOTUSblog, Sarah Isgur, and on a day when the Supreme Court gave everyone a lot to argue about. -Trump loses, birth tourism maybe does not -Anchor babies…
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The Cadres and the Cabal (#563)
-Welch enters his Charles Nelson Reilly era -Laura Branigan, Happy Mondays, and songs you didn’t know were covers -Puerto Rico’s revenge -The cadres are closing in -Reihan Salam and Larry Flynt -DAC hits the media circuit and refuses to answer the easiest question in politics -Aber Kawas explains...
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One Hitter: The DSA Takes NYC w/ Michael A. Cohen (Members Only #330)
This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.wethefifth.com Michael A. Cohen is a columnist for MSNOW, a senior fellow at Tufts University’s Fletcher School, and co-director of its Afghanistan Assumptions Project. He also writes the Truth and Consequences newsletter. He is…
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Genocide Juice and the Socialist Machine w/Reihan Salam (Members Only #329)
This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.wethefifth.com -Ethnicity as performance -Manhattan politics with the president of the Manhattan Institute -Dan Goldman orders coffee, receives moral instruction -The many political personalities of Brad Lander -Taxpayer-funded...
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The Iran Deal Is Bad and Everyone Is Stupid (#562)
-Kmele debuts his Sebastian Bach beach jeans -The Iran deal is like the JCPOA, but a lot worse -Lebanon sneaks into a U.S.-Iran deal -Strait of Hormuz, 60-day promises, and negotiating with hostage-takers -Why can’t the hawks ever learn? -Ukraine brings the war home to Russia -Drones, oil...
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Batya Ungar-Sargon and the Status Revolution (Members Only #328)
This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.wethefifth.com Batya Ungar-Sargon, host of Batya! on NewsNation, returns!!! And with a new book, The Jews and the Left, about antisemitism, anti-Zionism, and why so much of the modern left has made Jews the enemy. -JD Vance…
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The Knicks, Oyster Man, and the Infinite Lies (#561)
-The Knicks give New York its greatest night in years and OG makes his MVP case -Valid destruction or peaceful rioting? -A brief detour through America’s dumbest college mascots -Dave Chappelle and Shane Gillis give Moynihan a perfect Comedy Cellar night -Kmele roots for the Spurs, but only to...
About this show
Your weekly rhetorical assault on the on the news cycle, the people who make it, and occasionally ourselves. Kmele Foster (Freethink), Michael Moynihan (Vice), and Matt Welch (Reason) talk and laugh and drink their way to at least quasi-sanity in a world gone mad, often with the aid of clean and articulate guests. Weekly Members Only subscription edition often comes with listener mail and professional-quality (if inappropriate) singing. Analysis. Commentary. Sedition.
www.wethefifth.com
Hosted by
Kmele Foster, Michael Moynihan, and Matt Welch