The House of Forbidden Knowledge
by Laszlo Xalieri
This is the official channel for updates in student information and curriculum for The House of Forbidden Knowledge. Please ignore the smell of brimstone coming from your listening devices. This is a known side effect and our engineers are working on it. thofk.substack.com
Episodes
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Bottled Spirits: Section One—Theory
What is a Bottled Spirit? Let's get into the basic anatomy and the theory behind these useful constructs—assuming you've studied the warnings and disclaimers, of course. Time to get your hands dirty! Get full access to The House of Forbidden Knowledge at thofk.substack.com/subscribe
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Bottled Spirits: Warnings and Disclaimers
The author gets down to brass tacks about what to expect and explains that the person who undertakes any of the procedures detailed in this book are responsible for their own decisions and actions. Get full access to The House of Forbidden Knowledge at thofk.substack.com/subscribe
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Old Demons of the First Class
Here is another excerpt from the notebook of a student detailing the progress of some promising linguistic research. We truly hope that material like this properly conveys the daily student experience. Get full access to The House of Forbidden Knowledge at thofk.substack.com/subscribe
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A Xenolinguistic Analysis of a Few Lines of Ancient Verse
Here's another typical preliminary paper from a first-year student working on a core course assignment. Its roughness should not be expected to exemplify the standards we demand from finished work. Get full access to The House of Forbidden Knowledge at thofk.substack.com/subscribe
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Wet Specimen
Here's a typical sample of class notes from the notebooks of a typical student working on a typical first-year assignment. Assume that any derangement or desperation you detect is also typical. Get full access to The House of Forbidden Knowledge at thofk.substack.com/subscribe
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This Waking Nightmare
The first in a series of student testimonials about life on campus and the general academic experience Get full access to The House of Forbidden Knowledge at thofk.substack.com/subscribe
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Bats with Baby Faces: an Introduction to the Core Issues of Chimeric Hybridization and Related Interventions
Here's a brief introduction to surgical chimerization and affiliated biosculpting techniques from The House of Forbidden Knowledge's Professor of Undead Biology and University Chair of Radical Praxis. Get full access to The House of Forbidden Knowledge at thofk.substack.com/subscribe
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Getting the Most out of Your Psychosis
The House of Forbidden Knowledge's Associate Professor of Applied Apotheosis and Parapsychological Trauma delivers a brief lecture to new students about to experience their first psychotic breaks. Get full access to The House of Forbidden Knowledge at thofk.substack.com/subscribe
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Normal Pace of Classes to Resume, Holiday Declared
Yet another important announcement regarding the delivery of curriculum and the contractual obligations of the faculty and student bodies. Acceptance of this change upon receipt is assumed. Get full access to The House of Forbidden Knowledge at thofk.substack.com/subscribe
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The Curse—An Aficionado's Introduction
One of the students is assigned the task of giving an introductory lesson in Curses as penance for a minor infraction. The author listed is "Elmer Sobev" for some reason, but there is no such student. Get full access to The House of Forbidden Knowledge at thofk.substack.com/subscribe
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Give Lecture, Abuse They Students, Growl, Grade Papers, Eat Hot Chip and Lie
An important announcement regarding the delivery of curriculum and the contractual obligations of the faculty and student bodies. Acceptance of this change in circumstances upon receipt is assumed. Get full access to The House of Forbidden Knowledge at thofk.substack.com/subscribe
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Spex
The House of Forbidden Knowledge's Adjunct Professor of Auguries provides some introductory material to beginners interested in various methodologies of divination and market research. Get full access to The House of Forbidden Knowledge at thofk.substack.com/subscribe
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Basic Principles of Ectoplasmic Engineering
The House of Forbidden Knowledge's Senior Research Professor of Form and Substance emerges from the lab to introduce students to new concepts and methodologies for manipulating nonphysical phenomena. Get full access to The House of Forbidden Knowledge at thofk.substack.com/subscribe
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Diablerie for Dummies
The House of Forbidden Knowledge's Associate Professor of Opposition and Defiance introduces the concept of diablerie for interested freshmen and provides a few pointers on how to get started. Get full access to The House of Forbidden Knowledge at thofk.substack.com/subscribe
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Who's Who on the Cosmic Scene
The House of Forbidden Knowledge's Senior Professor of Cosmic Parabiology describes what kinds of creatures exist at the largest cosmic scales and how the pursuit of knowledge will triumph in the end. Get full access to The House of Forbidden Knowledge at thofk.substack.com/subscribe
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The Mutter
The House of Forbidden Knowledge's own Senior Research Professor of Secrets and Divination opens an introductory lecture on the art and practice of making sense of the most universal source of noise. Get full access to The House of Forbidden Knowledge at thofk.substack.com/subscribe
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Subjective versus Objective Reality: The Cage Match
The House of Forbidden Knowledge's Senior Professor of Hypokeimenonology expounds briefly on the topic of the validity of subjective experience and the phenomenology of worldviews for new students. Get full access to The House of Forbidden Knowledge at thofk.substack.com/subscribe
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The Familiar
The House of Forbidden Knowledge's Senior Professor of Bindings and Obligations explains a few phenomena peculiar to familiars in order to assist curious students contemplating long-term commitments. Get full access to The House of Forbidden Knowledge at thofk.substack.com/subscribe
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The Minutes of the Committee on Mandatory Student Extracurricular Activities Concerning the Discussion and Historic Selection of the Name of the Student Sports Teams, Since You All Demanded to Hear It
A recording of the committee session in which the members decided, with absolutely no input from the students, what to name the sports teams—seemingly inspired by certain perils of home ownership. Get full access to The House of Forbidden Knowledge at thofk.substack.com/subscribe
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An Introduction to Blood Sacrifice
The House of Forbidden Knowledge's Associate Professor of Semiotic & Semantic Engineering introduces a topic near and dear to every beating heart—and of interest to many of the stiller, quieter kind. Get full access to The House of Forbidden Knowledge at thofk.substack.com/subscribe
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The New Teratology
The House of Forbidden Knowledge's own Research Professor of Radical Parabiological Intervention steps out of the lab to deliver an inspirational lecture to new students of Teratological Engineering. Get full access to The House of Forbidden Knowledge at thofk.substack.com/subscribe
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Glasyalabolas's Big Book of Murder — An Excerpt
Here's an introductory snippet from the required textbook for the first segment of the Art and Science of Smitings course at The House of Forbidden Knowledge taught by the Associate Professor of Ills. Get full access to The House of Forbidden Knowledge at thofk.substack.com/subscribe
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How to Not Be Seen
The House of Forbidden Knowledge's Associate Professor of the Hidden, the Invisible, and the Undisclosed provides an introduction to how to be any of the above at will Get full access to The House of Forbidden Knowledge at thofk.substack.com/subscribe
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Poison Control
The House of Forbidden Knowledge's Professor of Poisons and Venoms and Departmental Chair of the School of Destructive Interventions delivers an introductory lecture on her own area of specialty. Get full access to The House of Forbidden Knowledge at thofk.substack.com/subscribe
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The Nameless Void
The House of Forbidden Knowledge's Senior Professor of Nothing introduces a batch of new students to Nothing. Get full access to The House of Forbidden Knowledge at thofk.substack.com/subscribe
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Travel Guide to the Dream Polities
The House of Forbidden Knowledge's Adjunct Professor of Anthropological Mythogeography gives a lecture to new students on the geographical layout the traditionally nonphysical realms. Get full access to The House of Forbidden Knowledge at thofk.substack.com/subscribe
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Worm at the Core
A brief lecture on purity, basic biology, and basic ecology from The House of Forbidden Knowledge's Professor Emeritus of Undead Physiology, on brief loan from the University Library's archives Get full access to The House of Forbidden Knowledge at thofk.substack.com/subscribe
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Dis: Orientation—The Campus Tour
The House of Forbidden Knowledge’s Designated Greeter would like to congratulate you on completing your long journey down to the campus and help you find where you fit in. Don’t miss any of these absolutely vital tips for survival! Get full access to The House of Forbidden Knowledge at...
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Brontologion
The House of Forbidden Knowledge’s Professor of Brontology presents a paper detailing and commenting on the surprising preliminary results of a study to formalize the interpretation of the voices in thunder. This is valuable information! Be sure to let your friends know about this course. Get…
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Your Name Here
In this introductory lecture, The House of Forbidden Knowledge’s Senior Professor of Undead Physiology explains the physical and nonphysical anatomy of names and their relevance to identities and roles—and their use in influencing and compelling behavior. This is valuable information! Be sure to...
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Stories and Fables—Red-Legged, Yellow-Legged
Here’s a few notes from an interview regarding The House of Forbidden Knowledge taken from the journal of an unnamed investigator looking into rumors and legends concerning the school. It’s up to you to decide what pieces might be grounded in fact. Get full access to The House of Forbidden...
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Dis: Orientation—The Second City
The House of Forbidden Knowledge’s Adjunct Professor of Nonphysical Geography gives a brief orientation lecture concerning the city in which the House is located and a few pointers for safety. Get full access to The House of Forbidden Knowledge at thofk.substack.com/subscribe
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Undeath: A Manual — Part 5 of 5 — Finally: The Rite of Endless Night
The House of Forbidden Knowledge’s Associate Professor of Undead Physiology wraps up a five-part series detailing the numerous paths to undeadness, in this episode delivering a final warning concerning the critical steps of becoming a True Master of the Night. This is valuable information! Be…
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Undeath: A Manual — Part 4 of 5 — Do Not Just Skip to This Section
The House of Forbidden Knowledge’s Associate Professor of Undead Physiology continues a five-part series describing the numerous paths to undeadness, in this episode detailing the many things you will need to study and master before attempting to put yourself down for your final transition. This…
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Undeath: A Manual — Part 3 of 5 — How Things Go Wrong; Reality-Adjacent Real Estate; Planning Your Retirement
The House of Forbidden Knowledge’s Associate Professor of Undead Physiology continues a five-part series detailing the numerous paths to undeadness, in this episode explaining the hazards of mistakes in the process of extending your life, plus considerations for locations to inhabit and other...
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Undeath: A Manual — Part 2 of 5 — General Categories of Undeadness to Consider
The House of Forbidden Knowledge’s Associate Professor of Undead Physiology continues a five-part series detailing the numerous paths to undeadness, in this episode explaining the major categories of undead existence that a student seeking eternal life might explore. This is valuable information!...
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Undeath: A Manual — Part 1 of 5 — Questions of Optimal Undead Existence; Religious Afterlives to be Avoided; Death and Undeath: Definitions
The House of Forbidden Knowledge’s Associate Professor of Undead Physiology launches into a five-part series detailing the numerous paths to undeadness, posing questions to help the listener determine which path to take and laying groundwork for future lectures in the series. This is valuable...
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The Charter
The House of Forbidden Knowledge’s Professor of Actual History relates the particulars of how, why, and when the school was founded among the veritable sea of rumors, legends, and myths concerning the establishment. Get full access to The House of Forbidden Knowledge at thofk.substack.com/subscribe
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How to Prepare a Human Soul for Consumption
Fresh new curriculum from The House of Forbidden Knowledge! The Professor of Undead Biology explains the biomechanics and explains a few techniques for feeding on human souls, both attached and detached, and details the ecological importance of doing so. Get full access to The House of Forbidden...
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From the Student Handbook: My Name Is Professor
The Dean of Students of The House of Forbidden Knowledge explains a few items of protocol and reiterates what is to be expected from the students—as has previously been detailed in their student contracts if they had been bothered to read them. Get full access to The House of Forbidden Knowledge…
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An Announcement Regarding Those Changes to the Course Catalog that We Warned You Were Coming a Long Time Ago, So Now You Have No Excuse
A previous valedictorian and chair of the Curriculum Committee details the changes in the course catalog and briefly explains the reasoning behind the update. Curriculum changes do not apply to The House of Forbidden Knowledge’s School of Cosmetology. Get full access to The House of Forbidden...
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Dis: Orientation—The Way Down
The Dean of Students gives an orientation course to new students on their trek down to the campus of The House of Forbidden Knowledge. Get full access to The House of Forbidden Knowledge at thofk.substack.com/subscribe
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The Student Uniform: A Few Guiding Notes on the Necro-Aesthetic
The Professor of Aesthetology explains the core concepts behind the necro-aesthetic that is the identifying characteristic of the school uniforms at The House of Forbidden Knowledge. Get full access to The House of Forbidden Knowledge at thofk.substack.com/subscribe
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A Hilarious Look Back at Your Application for Admission
An academic advisor at The House of Forbidden Knowledge reviews for his own personal amusement a student's application essay in which the prospective student begs not to be required to attend. Get full access to The House of Forbidden Knowledge at thofk.substack.com/subscribe
About this show
This is the official channel for updates in student information and curriculum for The House of Forbidden Knowledge. Please ignore the smell of brimstone coming from your listening devices. This is a known side effect and our engineers are working on it.
thofk.substack.com
Hosted by
Laszlo Xalieri