The Kink Consultant

I have combined my most popular solo episodes to answer your most asked questions about kink, BDSM, dom/sub dynamics, and relationships. In this episode, we talk about how to safely find kink communities, what healthy BDSM relationships actually look like, navigating kinky and vanilla relationships, building confidence as a dom or sub, and the communication skills that make power exchange dynamics work long term. We also get into common red flags in kink spaces, how to introduce your desires to a partner, and why so many people struggle with feeling “not kinky enough” or “too much” at the same timeIf you’ve been curious about BDSM, exploring kink for the first time, or trying to build healthier communication and trust inside your relationships, this episode is going to give you practical advice, honest conversations, and reassurance that you’re definitely not the only one figuring this out. Tune in, take what resonates, and keep exploring what feels authentic to you.Take the BDSM Test: https://www.bdsmtest.orgSpeak Your Desires with Confidence - Download this FREE step-by-step guide to having open, honest, and judgment-free conversations about kink, boundaries, and pleasure.https://www.amandadames.com/Speak-Your-Desires-with-Confidence-opt-in-1Connect with Amandahttps://www.amandadames.com/https://www.instagram.com/the_kinkconsultant/Book A Consult Call with Amanda https://www.amandadames.com/book-a-consultDownload the BDSM Checklist Here: https://www.amandadames.com/resource_redirect/landing_pages/2151620560Courses and Resources to Help Your Kink Journey: https://www.amandadames.com/store

You’d think being a sex writer would make dating easier, right? Apparently not.In this episode, I sit down with Gabrielle Cassel, a queer sex and wellness journalist whose work you’ve probably read in Cosmopolitan, GQ, Women’s Health, and more. We start with the article that hit a little too close to home, why being a sex educator can actually make dating harder, not easier. Gabrielle shares what it’s like to be either instantly oversexualised or immediately written off the second someone finds out what she does, and how that completely changes the dynamic before it even begins. We get into the reality of dating when people project their fantasies onto you, assume what you’re into, or decide they’re not “enough” before even getting to know youGabrielle also shares about her journey from identifying as lesbian to bisexual, how attraction can evolve in ways you don’t expect, and why your sexuality is so much bigger than just who you’re attracted to. We unpack the pressure to explain yourself, the importance of curiosity in connection, and why your career, your desires, and your identity don’t have to make sense to anyone else to be valid. If you’ve ever felt misunderstood in dating, boxed in by assumptions, or like you’re constantly having to “explain yourself” just to be seen, this one is going to hit.Read Gabrielle’s article here: https://www.cosmopolitan.com/lifestyle/a70484661/sex-writer-dating-struggle-sex-therapy/Connect with Gabrielle: https://www.instagram.com/gabriellekassel/Connect with Amandahttps://www.amandadames.com/https://www.instagram.com/the_kinkconsultant/Book A Consult Call with Amanda https://www.amandadames.com/book-a-consultDownload the BDSM Checklist Here: https://www.amandadames.com/resource_redirect/landing_pages/2151620560Courses and Resources to Help Your Kink Journey: https://www.amandadames.com/store

Back for the third time, we’re joined by everybody’s favourite guest, Larah Sky.In this episode, we get into Larah’s very specific, slightly unhinged, and honestly impressive approach to dating. From identifying as pan and poly to wanting a relationship that looks completely “normal” on the outside but seems really specific and complicated behind the scenes, we unpack what she’s actually looking for in a partner. We talk about why she can’t date straight men (but also kind of wants one?), the appeal of a “pathetic but functional” boyfriend, and how her preferences are less about labels and more about personality, power dynamics, and not being boredThis conversation also covers chaotic travel schedules, content creation burnout, hiring disasters, and the reality of working in an industry where communication, boundaries, and identity are part of your everyday life. And just to make things more interesting, we’re about to see each other in person on the upcoming cruise… so if you think this episode was fun, just wait until we record the next one. Stay tuned! Connect with Larah Sky https://www.larahsky.co.ukConnect with Amandahttps://www.amandadames.com/https://www.instagram.com/the_kinkconsultant/Book A Consult Call with Amanda https://www.amandadames.com/book-a-consultDownload the BDSM Checklist Here: https://www.amandadames.com/resource_redirect/landing_pages/2151620560Courses and Resources to Help Your Kink Journey: https://www.amandadames.com/store

How does one really become a Dom? In this episode, I answer one of the most frequently asked questions from my Ask Me Anything Mondays which is: how do I become a Dom? And more importantly, how do you do it without feeling awkward, forced, or like you’re playing a role that doesn’t actually fit you? We get into why so many people feel pressure to “perform” dominance, and why that’s usually the thing getting in your way. I walk you through what Dom energy actually is, which is less about control and more about presence, and how you’re creating a space or “bubble” that your submissive steps into. We also talk about different styles of Doming, why you don’t have to be the kind of Dom you’re used to receiving, and how asking questions and actually listening is one of the most underrated skills you can have.If you’ve ever thought “my partner wants me to Dom and I have no idea how,” this is where you start. This episode will help you let go of the pressure, figure out what kind of Dom you want to be, and step into it in a way that feels natural, confident, and actually enjoyable.I’M HOSTING A LIVE CLASS! Join here: https://www.amandadames.com/domenergy2Connect with Amandahttps://www.amandadames.com/https://www.instagram.com/the_kinkconsultant/Book A Consult Call with Amanda https://www.amandadames.com/book-a-consultDownload the BDSM Checklist Here: https://www.amandadames.com/resource_redirect/landing_pages/2151620560Join the Kinky Book Club:https://www.amandadames.com/offers/H3LbqfTw/checkoutCourses and Resources to Help Your Kink Journey: https://www.amandadames.com/store

Back by popular demand, my Biz Dom, Brenda joins me in this episode to talk about what the past year has actually looked like for me. We get into what it means to rebuild your life more than once, and what it’s like being in a 24/7 Dom sub dynamic that feels aligned and expansive while still navigating very real emotions like grief, uncertainty, and starting over. Brenda came prepared with questions that pushed me to slow down, reflect, and actually look at what this season of my life is asking from me.We also get into business, censorship, and what it looks like to be a sex educator online right now when platforms are actively shutting down conversations around safety, pleasure, and education. We talk about the importance of community, why long-form platforms matter more than ever, and how to stay connected in a space that is constantly shifting. If you’ve been going through a big life transition, questioning your path, or just trying to figure out how to hold both excitement and discomfort at the same time, this episode is going to feel very real, very human, and maybe a little bit like the permission slip you didn’t know you needed.I'M HOSTING A LIVE CLASS! Join here:https://www.amandadames.com/domenergy2Connect with Amandahttps://www.amandadames.com/https://www.instagram.com/the_kinkconsultant/Book A Consult Call with Amanda https://www.amandadames.com/book-a-consultDownload the BDSM Checklist Here: https://www.amandadames.com/resource_redirect/landing_pages/2151620560Join the Kinky Book Club:https://www.amandadames.com/offers/H3LbqfTw/checkoutCourses and Resources to Help Your Kink Journey: https://www.amandadames.com/storeEpisode Highlights: (00:00) Long Distance, Big Decisions, and Moving for Love(08:30) Rebuilding Life in a New City and Starting Over Again(13:10) Finding Small Joys While Navigating Major Life Changes(16:01) Travel, Independence, and Relationship Expectations(27:07) Sex Education, Censorship, and Why Platforms Are Failing Creators

Let’s be honest, most people hear “throuple” and immediately assume chaos, jealousy, or some kind of messy situation waiting to happen.In this episode, I’m joined by Carnivale Risque, a real-life throuple made up of Tank, Ellez, and Obsidian, who are out here living, loving, and building a life together in a way most people only speculate about. We talk about what non-monogamy actually looks like behind the scenes, not the fantasy, not the internet version, but the real dynamics of communication, boundaries, and sharing a life with more than one partner. They break down how their relationship formed, how they navigate being a closed triad romantically while still playing and sharing energy in kink spaces, and what it really takes to make this kind of relationship work long term.We also get into the stuff people are really curious about but are too scared to ask. Sleeping arrangements, jealousy, conflict, finances, and yes, how three people actually function as a unit without everything falling apart. We talk about emotional maturity, ego checks, and why non-monogamy does not work without radical honesty and self-awareness. If you’ve ever been curious about non-monogamy, questioned the “one person forever” script, or just want a real, human look at what this dynamic can look like when it’s done with care, this episode is going to expand your perspective in the best way.Connect with Carnivale Risquehttps://carnivalerisque.com/https://www.instagram.com/carnivalerisquehttps://www.facebook.com/229898104290303https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCWAmtkOUzPRcV3rBpzVR9mghttps://www.x.com/CarnivaleRisqueConnect with Amandahttps://www.amandadames.com/https://www.instagram.com/the_kinkconsultant/Book A Consult Call with Amanda https://www.amandadames.com/book-a-consultDownload the BDSM Checklist Here: https://www.amandadames.com/resource_redirect/landing_pages/2151620560Courses and Resources to Help Your Kink Journey: https://www.amandadames.com/storeEpisode Highlights00:00 Poly and closed triad23:27 Sex intimacy and kink26:35 Vulnerability And Intimacy27:16 Beyond The Fantasy35:36 Switching Shame And Ego38:06 Authenticity In The Industry43:57 Titles And Real Experience

What if the “perfect Dom” isn’t dark, scary, and mean… but sarcastic, grounded, and deeply present?In this episode, I’m joined by Mistress Tash Mia, a professional dominatrix and educator who brings humor, sarcasm, and real-world groundedness into her dominance. We talk about what authentic Dom energy looks like, why safety is the foundation of surrender, and how to start exploring desires without feeling like you need to go “extreme” to be valid.We also get into the behind-the-scenes reality of being a professional space holder, including what it takes to prevent Dom burnout, how to set energetic boundaries, and why presence is one of the rarest (and hottest) skills in BDSM. If you’re dominatrix-curious, already exploring, or trying to navigate power dynamics with a partner, you’re going to feel seen in this one. Press play, take what you need, and let this conversation expand your idea of what a dominatrix really does.Connect with Mistress Tash Miahttps://www.instagram.com/theworldoftashmiahttps://www.mistresstashmia.com/Sign-up for the Free Dom/Sub Dynamics Virtual Summit here: https://kconsultant--domsubliving.thrivecart.com/vip/Connect with Amandahttps://www.amandadames.com/https://www.instagram.com/the_kinkconsultant/Book A Consult Call with Amanda https://www.amandadames.com/book-a-consultDownload the BDSM Checklist Here: https://www.amandadames.com/resource_redirect/landing_pages/2151620560Courses and Resources to Help Your Kink Journey: https://www.amandadames.com/storeEpisode Highlights:00:00 Normalizing kink: shame, secrecy, and why desire is more common than we think03:10 Where to start in kink: identify desires + set an intention04:00 Safety first: competence, boundaries, and protecting someone’s values12:00 What makes a “good sub”: communication, consent, and intention21:00 Training Doms: tools are easy, psychology is the real work25:00 Dating while kinky: bring it up early, and don’t abandon what matters to you

She started as a sex blogger in Utah, flew to Japan to train under a Shibari master whose stare alone made her cry, and never looked back.In this episode, I sit down with Julieta Chiara, a certified Shibari instructor trained under Japanese master Hajime Kinoko, who went from studying to be a sex therapist to running a sex blog, to teaching Japanese rope bondage from her studio in Tulum. Julietta breaks down the difference between Shibari and Kinbaku, why self-tying is the most underrated way to learn, and how rope bondage can be a somatic meditation even when kink isn't the goal. We also get into her identity as a bonafide submissive who only takes a top role in rope, why she refuses to tie strangers for money, and how psychological kink rather than physical tools is where her submission actually lives. This episode is intimate, deeply educational, and full of moments that will make you want to pick up a rope. Whether you've always been curious about Shibari or you've been in the scene for years, Julietta's perspective is refreshing, grounded, and genuinely one of a kind.Connect with Julieta Chiarahttps://www.instagram.com/julietachiarahttps://www.instagram.com/chiarashibari/TKC LinksSign-up for the Free Dom/Sub Dynamics Virtual Summit here: https://kconsultant--domsubliving.thrivecart.com/vip/Last Longer with Promescent. Head over to https://www.promescent.com/ and use the code TKC15 for 15% off.Connect with Amandahttps://www.amandadames.com/https://www.instagram.com/the_kinkconsultant/Book A Consult Call with Amanda https://www.amandadames.com/book-a-consultDownload the BDSM Checklist Here: https://www.amandadames.com/resource_redirect/landing_pages/2151620560Courses and Resources to Help Your Kink Journey: https://www.amandadames.com/storeEpisode Highlights:00:00 Shibari vs. Kinbaku: Why the Debate Is Overblown08:15 Learning Shibari Online vs. In Person13:00 How a Bucket List Trip to Japan Became Her Career19:00 Growing Up Sex-Positive in Salt Lake City24:00 Self-Tying as Somatic Meditation26:00 Being a Submissive Who Only Tops in Rope34:00 Psychological Kink, Objectification, and Getting Into Her Head36:00 How to Find the Right Dom (It's Just Like Dating)40:00 Three Things to Know Before Starting Your Rope Journey

The kinkiest show in Vegas is hosted by the most vanilla couple you'll ever meet. In this episode, I get to sit down with Zion and Poppy, the hosts of Rouge at the Strat, for an inside look at Vegas's sexiest show. These Australian acrobats turned comedy hosts break down how they created the most authentically kinky show on the strip without actually being kinky themselves. We talk about audience interaction, improv comedy with drunk tourists, managing a topless show while pregnant, the wild backstage stories, and why being happily married actually makes them better at hosting a sex-positive show. Zion and Poppy also get real about working six nights a week with a toddler, handling inappropriate audience behavior, and why the best audiences are old married couples who have zero filter.This episode is hilarious, insightful, and a behind-the-scenes peek at what it takes to make Vegas magic. If you've ever wondered what happens backstage at a kinky Vegas show, this conversation delivers.Episode Highlights: 00:00 Why Rouge Stands Out11:19 Vegas Sex Culture (And What's Actually Legal)20:03 Favorite Acts in the Show35:30 Wild Improv Moments and Callback Stories40:57 Being Kinky Without Being Creepy54:59 Warming Up the Crowd for Fantasy AnswersConnect with Poppy and Zion  https://www.instagram.com/zionandpoppy/https://www.instagram.com/rouge.vegas/Connect with Amandahttps://www.amandadames.com/https://www.instagram.com/the_kinkconsultant/Book A Consult Call with Amandahttps://www.amandadames.com/book-a-consultDownload the BDSM Checklist Here: https://www.amandadames.com/resource_redirect/landing_pages/2151620560Join the Kinky Book Club:https://www.amandadames.com/offers/H3LbqfTw/checkoutCourses and Resources to Help Your Kink Journey: https://www.amandadames.com/storeJoins the Couples Retreathttps://www.amandadames.com/BetaWaitlist

What if you could rewire how your brain stores pleasure in just one session?In this episode, I sit down with Jordan Wolan, a certified hypnotherapist who works with sexual freedom and performance anxiety, to talk about how hypnotherapy can actually help you have better sex. We get into what hypnosis really is (spoiler: you're already doing it when you scroll), how it can rewire your brain to enjoy new positions or experiences, and why your subconscious mind is way more powerful than willpower when it comes to lasting change. Jordan also breaks down hypnokink, how to explore it safely, and why this whole field requires way more ethics and care than most people think.If you've been curious about hypnotherapy, want to understand how your brain stores sexual habits, or you're wondering how to tap into deeper states during play, this conversation will open your mind to what's actually possible.Episode Highlights: 00:00 What hypnotherapy actually is16:13 Rewiring your brain to enjoy better sex21:44 Why hypnosis is becoming essential right now31:30 Hypnokink, ethics, and how to stay safe35:47 Consent, boundaries, and aftercare in hypnoplayConnect with Jordan Wolan https://jordanwolan.com/https://instagram.com/jordanwolanhttps://www.youtube.com/@JordanWolanConnect with Amandahttps://www.amandadames.com/https://www.instagram.com/the_kinkconsultant/Book A Consult Call with Amandahttps://www.amandadames.com/book-a-consultDownload the BDSM Checklist Here: https://www.amandadames.com/resource_redirect/landing_pages/2151620560Join the Kinky Book Club:https://www.amandadames.com/offers/H3LbqfTw/checkoutCourses and Resources to Help Your Kink Journey: https://www.amandadames.com/storeJoins the Couples Retreathttps://www.amandadames.com/BetaWaitlist

Sex magic is real. And no, this isn't some Harry Potter stuff. This is actual ritual work that could change how you manifest, orgasm, and deal with your anger.In this episode, I sit down with Lucy Baldwin, shadow alchemist, magician, author, and podcaster, for a wild ride into sex magic, existential kink, and shadow alchemy. Lucy breaks down what sex magic actually is (spoiler: it involves masturbating to sigils), why your genitals are basically your second brain, and how to get off on things you hate through existential kink. We talk about the holy hexagram (yes, it's 69 in four directions), manifestation through orgasm, working with planetary magic instead of being a victim to Mercury retrograde, and why shame is the only thing blocking your pleasure. Lucy also gets real about the origins of existential kink in orgasmic meditation, radical approval, and how to turn your anger into arousal.This episode is mystical, practical, and permission-giving all at once. If you've ever been curious about magic, manifestation, or getting off on your problems, this conversation will blow your mind.Connect with Lucy Baldwinhttps://www.remolinacoaching.com/https://www.instagram.com/lucy.baldwin.authorPenetrate Radio Podcasthttps://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLqoP78I-OC34i7hK4Vv41gKjr-Fk2QLJSThe Seven: Living With The Planets Podcasthttps://tr.ee/w2lKwwbjLWConnect with Amandahttps://www.amandadames.com/https://www.instagram.com/the_kinkconsultant/Book A Consult Call with Amandahttps://www.amandadames.com/book-a-consultDownload the BDSM Checklist Here: https://www.amandadames.com/resource_redirect/landing_pages/2151620560Join the Kinky Book Club:https://www.amandadames.com/offers/H3LbqfTw/checkoutCourses and Resources to Help Your Kink Journey: https://www.amandadames.com/storeJoins the Couples Retreathttps://www.amandadames.com/BetaWaitlist

Can doms be brats? Tripp Terrier says no, and the Internet lost its mind, and honestly he's not wrong.In this episode, I sit down with Tripp Terrier, power exchange content creator, kink theorist, and founder of Subspace, a free biweekly community support group for submissives and switches. We get into the brat-dom debate that's been haunting him for months, why submissives need to stop handing over all their power and actually show up 50%, and what consent really looks like before a scene even starts (hint: it's way more than a yes in the moment). Tripp also opens up about navigating social media as a straight white male dom, getting compared to Andrew Tate, his ADHD diagnosis, sobriety, and why the so-called old guard of kink needs to relax because the whole thing is newer than they think.This one is sharp, unfiltered, and the kind of conversation social media clips could never do justice. If power exchange theory is your thing, buckle up.Connect with Tripp Terrierhttps://trippterrier.com/https://www.tiktok.com/@tripp.terrierhttps://www.instagram.com/trippundermehttps://www.youtube.com/@trippterrierhttps://fetlife.com/TrippTerrierConnect with Amandahttps://www.amandadames.com/https://www.instagram.com/the_kinkconsultant/Download the BDSM Checklist Here: https://www.amandadames.com/resource_redirect/landing_pages/2151620560Join the Kinky Book Club:https://www.amandadames.com/offers/H3LbqfTw/checkoutCourses and Resources to Help Your Kink Journey: https://www.amandadames.com/storeJoins the Couples Retreathttps://www.amandadames.com/BetaWaitlist

Not sure what to expect on a kinky cruise? You're about to find out, and it's way more fun (and safe) than you think! In this episode, I’m not just going to have one, not two, but four guests! I sit down with Lee from Concasions and the powerhouse team behind Carnivale Risqué (Tank, Goddess Ellez, and Obsidian) to talk about what it's really like on a kinky cruise. These industry veterans have been teaching kink at lifestyle parties for over a decade, and they break down how they turned empty dungeons into packed playspaces by making BDSM approachable, glamorous, and fun. We dig into the upcoming Kinky Cruise in April, what to expect as a first-timer, how consent culture creates the safest party spaces, and why "swingsters" (swingers + kinksters) are now a whole community. They also get real about living as a throuple, teaching workshops on unleashing your authentic self, and why vulnerability is the sexiest thing you can bring to any relationship.This episode is part prep guide, part inspiration, and 100% permission to explore. If you've been thinking about attending a lifestyle event or just want to understand what makes these spaces so magnetic, this conversation will get you ready to dive in.Don’t let the Kinky Cruise sail without you! Go to http://www.kinkycruise.com and use the code TKC50 to get $50 offDownload the Bliss Cruise app and Celebrity Cruise app to plan your scheduleConnect with Tank, Goddess Ellez, and Obsidianhttps://carnivalerisque.com/https://www.instagram.com/carnivalerisque/https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100063613538670Connect with Amandahttps://www.amandadames.com/https://www.instagram.com/the_kinkconsultant/https://www.amandadames.com/thereadinglist

Better sex isn't a luxury, it's accessible. And if you're not exploring what's out there to improve your intimacy, you're leaving pleasure on the table.In this episode, I get to sit down with Jeff Abraham, CEO of Promescent, for an honest conversation about sexual wellness, performance anxiety, and why 70% of people using delay spray don't even have premature ejaculation, they just want better sex. Jeff shares his unexpected journey from semiconductor engineering to running a sexual wellness company, and breaks down the real stats on the "arousal gap" (spoiler: the average man lasts 5 minutes and 42 seconds while the average woman needs 18 minutes). We dig into why delay products have gotten a bad rap, how Promescent's formula is different, and what Vita Flux can do for blood flow, libido, and natural lubrication. Jeff also gets real about communication, foreplay that starts hours before sex, and why vulnerability is the foundation of great intimacy.This episode is practical, sex-positive, and full of solutions. If you want better connection, longer-lasting sex, or just want to level up your intimacy game, this conversation will give you the tools to do it.Want longer-lasting sex without losing sensation? Get 15% off at Promescent.com/tkc15Episode Highlights:00:00 Changing the Conversation Around Intimacy27:34 Exploring Sexual Frequency and Refractory Periods29:19 The Impact of Good Intimacy on Attraction31:38 Addressing Anxiety and Intimacy33:30 Menopause and Women's Sexual Health35:36 Innovations in Female Arousal Products40:21 The Rise of Male Masturbatory Products53:58 The Importance of Communication in Sexual RelationshipsConnect with Jeff Abraham https://www.linkedin.com/in/technicalresources/https://www.promescent.com/Connect with Amandahttps://www.amandadames.com/https://www.instagram.com/the_kinkconsultant/Joins the Couples Retreathttps://www.amandadames.com/BetaWaitlistDownload the BDSM Checklist Here: https://www.amandadames.com/resource_redirect/landing_pages/2151620560Join the Kinky Book Club:https://www.amandadames.com/offers/H3LbqfTw/checkoutCourses and Resources to Help Your Kink Journey: https://www.amandadames.com/store

Non-monogamy isn't actually that complicated…our fear of talking about it is. And that fear keeps way too many people stuck pretending they want something they don't.In this episode, I sit down with Samia Mounts, creator and host of the ClosetEd podcast, for a raw conversation about non-monogamy, jealousy, and why emotional maturity matters more than the number of partners you have. Samia shares her journey from believing in "the one" to discovering she's wired for multiple loves. We talk about her marriage that became a friendship, navigating new relationship energy, and the difference between boundaries and control. She gets real about the mistakes she made, the red flags she ignored, and what it takes to build trust when relationships shift.If you have ever felt like you were meant to love more than one person and had no idea what to do with that truth, this conversation is for you.Episode Highlights: 00:00 Why Everyone Is In “The Closet” and Society's Norms12:17 Polyamory and Personal Experiences32:42 Defining Relationship Agreements and Boundaries34:54 Navigating Non-Monogamous Relationships42:19 Polyamory vs. Consensual Non-MonogamyConnect with Samia Mounts https://www.samiamounts.com/https://www.instagram.com/samia.mountshttps://www.youtube.com/channel/UCBkJT8ttJYCyIS8ig6gZ7pAhttps://www.tiktok.com/@samia.mountshttps://www.samiamounts.com/podcastBook a Consult with Amanda Here:https://www.amandadames.com/book-a-consultConnect with Me: ⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@thekinkconsultant⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/the_kinkconsultant/⁠

What if intimacy didn’t have to feel so hard, awkward, or overthought?In this episode, I sit down with Danielle Harel and Celeste Hirschman, the founders of the Somatica Method and the two people who completely changed the way I understand intimacy, sex, and relationships. We talk about what Somatica actually is, why it feels so different from anything most of us have ever learned about intimacy, and why practicing connection in real time can be deeply transformative.This episode is personal for me. Somatica is the training that helped me become The Kink Consultant, and it reshaped how I show up in my body, my relationships, and my work. If you have ever felt stuck in your intimacy, overwhelmed by shame, or curious about a more embodied, human way to connect, this conversation gives you a real look at what is possible when everything is allowed to be talked about, explored, and met with care.Episode Highlights 00:00 What is Somatica?11:03 Understanding Somatica Sessions24:49 Understanding Core Wounds in Relationships27:54 Application Process for Somatica Training35:23 Virgin Island: A New TV Show40:53 The Impact of Social Media on IntimacyLearn more about Somatica:https://www.somaticainstitute.com/https://www.instagram.com/somatica_institute/https://www.instagram.com/celesteanddanielleofficial/Become a Certified Somatica Coach: https://www.somaticainstitute.com/ Use TKC250 to get $750 off!Join the Couples Retreat! https://www.amandadames.com/couples-retreatOrder Playground Miracle Melts here! https://helloplayground.com/products/miracle-melts-hydrating-insertConnect with Me: ⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@thekinkconsultant⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/the_kinkconsultant/⁠

Let's talk about the thing no one wants to touch: DDLG, innocence play, and why "daddy" has become the internet's new favorite word. In today’s episode, I sit down with Rena Martine, author and former sex crimes prosecutor turned women's intimacy coach, for one of the most honest conversations about taboo fantasies, shame, and reclaiming pleasure without apology. We dig into why powerful women crave submission, what innocence play actually means (spoiler: it's not what you think), how survivors sometimes use kink for healing, and why society will sell you slutty Halloween costumes but shame you for the desires behind them.This episode is permission-giving, unflinching, and absolutely necessary. If you've ever felt shame for wanting something "wrong," this conversation is your permission slip to want what you want.Episode Highlights: 00:00 Rena's Journey from Prosecutor to Intimacy Coach15:15 Understanding DDLG and Age Play28:37 Exploring Society's Double Standards29:38 Privilege and Normalizing Taboo Discussions31:09 Non-Monogamy and Societal Judgments32:16 Polyamory and Public Perception37:25 Kink Acceptance and Media Representation42:54 Navigating DDLG Dynamics47:48 Empowerment Through KinkConnect with Rena Martinehttps://www.renamartine.com/bookhttps://www.instagram.com/_rena.martine_/Join the Couples Retreat! https://www.amandadames.com/couples-retreatOrder Playground Miracle Melts here! https://helloplayground.com/products/miracle-melts-hydrating-insertConnect with Me: ⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@thekinkconsultant⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/the_kinkconsultant/⁠

You heard it here first: sex gets better as you age. Don’t believe me? Listen to this episode.I sit down with Susan Bratton, intimacy expert and sex educator, for a refreshing conversation about pleasure, confidence, and why desire does not have an expiration date. We talk about how so many people are taught to expect sex to fade over time, and why that belief is doing way more damage than aging ever could. Susan shares what actually helps couples stay curious, connected, and turned on long term, especially when shame and routine start creeping in. We also get into kink, power dynamics, and sexual longevity. Susan explains how confidence, embodiment, and caring for your body play a huge role in pleasure as you get older, and why performance-focused sex often gets in the way of real intimacy.This episode is permission-filled, honest, and surprisingly hopeful. If you want proof that your best sex might still be ahead of you, this conversation will absolutely change your mind.Episode Highlights: 00:00 Maintaining Sexual Health and Stamina25:53 Embracing Confidence and Sexuality27:43 Maintaining Sexual Health with Age29:43 The Role of Nitric Oxide30:48 The Benefits of Pumping32:20 Advanced Treatments for Sexual Health34:26 Red Light Therapy and LubricantsConnect with Susan Brattonhttps://betterlover.comhttps://getflowfree.comhttps://getglowbelow.comhttps://pumpingguide.comJoin the Couples Retreat! https://www.amandadames.com/couples-retreatGet your BDSM Checklist here: https://www.amandadames.com/bdsmlistConnect with Me: ⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@thekinkconsultant⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/the_kinkconsultant/⁠

Being obsessed with someone can be so embarrassing. Frankly, you barely even know this person but somehow your brain has decided that this person is now the main character of your life. Been there, done that. In this episode, I sit down with my coach, Kirsten Aut to talk about obsession in a way that feels honest, relatable, and way less shameful. We unpack why obsession happens, why trying to “just stop thinking about it” never works, and how desire, fantasy, and attachment get all tangled together when someone lights up your nervous system just enough to throw you off balance.If you have ever thought, “Why am I like this?” or caught yourself spiraling over someone you barely dated, this episode will make you feel seen, understood, and a lot less alone.Episode Highlights: 00:00 Understanding Obsession and Attachment12:01 Realizations and Reflections on Obsession27:20 Growth Mindset in Relationships29:37 Navigating Modern Dating35:01 Trusting Your Intuition38:51 Manifestation and Personal GrowthConnect with Kristen Authttps://www.newbadassyou.com/https://www.instagram.com/thekristenaut/https://www.tiktok.com/@thekristenautJoin the Couples Retreat! https://www.amandadames.com/couples-retreatGet your BDSM Checklist here: https://www.amandadames.com/bdsmlistConnect with Me: ⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@thekinkconsultant⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/the_kinkconsultant/⁠

Who says you need a dungeon or hours of planning for a night you’ll never forget? In this episode we're sharing 5 simple and powerful BDSM scene ideas you can use tonight—no fancy gear or prep required. From voice-only command scenes and sensory deprivation with household items, to secret service rituals, playful punishment games, and emotional restraint with praise, you’ll find inspiration for any dynamic. Plus, don’t miss the 5-minute scene challenge! Ready to make your night unforgettable? Check out our “Scene Creation Mastery” (only $9!) at https://domsubliving.com/scene-creation-mastery/Connect with Alessandra https://domsubliving.com/https://www.instagram.com/domsubliving/https://www.tiktok.com/@domsublivinghttps://www.facebook.com/domsublivinghttps://www.youtube.com/@DomSubLiving?sub_confirmation=1Check Out My Friday Vibe Series: https://thekinkconsultant.substack.com/Get your FREE BDSM Checklist HEREhttps://www.amandadames.com/bdsmlistConnect with Me: ⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@thekinkconsultant⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/the_kinkconsultant/⁠

Talking about sex should not be this hard, and yet for so many people, it still is.In this episode, I sit down with Dr. Tara, tenured professor of relational sexual communication, host of the Luvbites podcast, and author of How Do You Like It?, to talk about what actually makes a sex life and a relationship work. We cover everything from why emotional safety is the real prerequisite for good communication, to how shame shows up in our relationships long before we ever talk about kink.Dr. Tara shares what she teaches her university students about sexual communication across the lifespan, from sexual debut to long-term partnership, aging, and everything in between. We talk about why most people were never taught how to talk about sex, money, or desire, and how that lack of language quietly impacts intimacy.If you have ever struggled to ask for what you want, felt disconnected from a partner, or wished there was a guidebook for navigating intimacy, this episode will give you clarity, language, and a lot to reflect on.Episode Highlights: 00:00 Sexual Communication and Education08:43 Emotional Safety in Relationships17:50 Personal Divorce Stories and Lessons Learned18:42 Communicating About Money and Sex in Relationships22:30 Essential Communication in Relationships25:22 Understanding Sexual Preferences and PolyamoryGrab a copy of her book: How Do You Like It?: A Guide for Getting What You Want (in Bed) https://amzn.to/4iWt60aConnect with Dr. Tara https://www.luvbites.co/https://www.instagram.com/luvbites.co/https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCrbW6PCKjgcxkq3dTvjjeyQhttps://open.spotify.com/show/2SZ60RxLOyQ900l4PgJAlTJoin the Couples Retreat! https://www.amandadames.com/couples-retreatGet your BDSM Checklist here: https://www.amandadames.com/bdsmlistConnect with Me: ⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@thekinkconsultant⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/the_kinkconsultant/⁠

One thing about kinky dating: it should not be this hard to find your people. Thankfully, BeeDee App exists and yes, I brought Pieter back on the podcast because a lot has happened since the first time he was here.In this episode, Pieter and I get into compatibility percentages, brat detection failures, monogamy filters, and why BeeDee is miles better than scrolling through FetLife hoping someone in your city is actually compatible. We also talk about BeeDee’s new features like incognito mode and travel mode, and the wild stats behind how many messages, matches, and relationships are happening because of this app. If you’ve ever wished kinky dating felt easier, more intentional, and way less chaotic, this episode is your permission slip to finally download the app, take the test, and meet people who actually match you inside and outside the bedroom.Episode Highlights: 00:00 Personal Experiences with BeeDee App13:24 The Origin Story of BeeDee App20:29 New Features and Updates on BeeDee App29:47 Upcoming Features on BeeDee AppDownload the BeeDee App https://web.beedee.app/Check Out My Friday Vibe Series: https://thekinkconsultant.substack.com/Sign-Up For the TCK Couples Retreat: https://www.amandadames.com/BetaWaitlistConnect with Me: ⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@thekinkconsultant⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/the_kinkconsultant/⁠

"The number one thing about being a Dom is you need to have the best interest of the other person in mind.You cannot take advantage of the other person because of their submissive role."In this episode, we're continuing the conversation about finding Doms, and what actually makes a good one. Spoiler: it's not about being the strictest or the loudest, it's about showing up consistently, knowing when to admit you're wrong, and understanding that feelings can (and will) change how you play. We dive into what he's actually looking for in a submissive, how he deals with performance anxiety without spiraling, and why sometimes the best thing a Dom can do is pause the whole D/S dynamic.If you've been wondering what separates a good Dom from someone who just talks a big game, or you're trying to level up your own leadership without losing your mind, you'll definitely enjoy this episode.Episode Highlights: 00:00 Understanding the Dom-Sub Dynamic06:28 Educating Your Dom11:09 Consistency in Dom-Sub Relationships20:59 Support and Consistency in D/s Dynamics27:29 Spotting Submissive Tendencies38:42 Exploring New Dynamics TogetherSign-up for the Couples Retreat! For couples and curious duos ready to explore kink, deepen trust, and turn communication into connection. ⁠https://www.amandadames.com/BetaWaitlist⁠Let’s take kink to the high seas! Join me at the Kinky Cruise at ⁠https://www.kinkycruise.com⁠ and use code TKC50 FOR $50 off per person.Check Out My Friday Vibe Series: ⁠https://thekinkconsultant.substack.com/⁠Connect with Me: ⁠⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@thekinkconsultant⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/the_kinkconsultant/⁠⁠

One of the questions I get constantly is, “Where can I find a Dom?”So in this episode, I sit down with my Dom to talk honestly about where real Doms come from, how he found the kink community, and what he actually looks for when choosing a submissive.In this episode, he shares how he found the kink community, what shaped the way he leads, and how our dynamic started long before either of us named it. We talk about emotional steadiness, consistency, red flags, green flags, and the difference between a man performing dominance and someone who can genuinely hold you. If you’ve ever wondered where to meet a Dom, how to choose one, or what a grounded power exchange feels like from the inside, this conversation gives you a clear, real-world look behind the scenes.Episode Highlights: 00:00 Discovering FetLife and Online Communities05:33 Learning and Growing as a Dom24:11 How We Actualy Me25:48 Advice for Subs and Doms in the Dating World33:59 The Importance of Communication and Flexibility36:16 Handling Emotional Regulation and Vulnerability40:06 Respecting Boundaries and InsecuritiesHow to Tell Your Partner Your Kink Join this 1-hr workshop and learn how to talk to your partner about your kink without shame, panic, or awkward silence https://www.amandadames.com/offers/GvipoKWe/checkoutLet’s take kink to the high seas! Join me at the Kinky Cruise at https://www.kinkycruise.com and use code TKC50 FOR $50 off per person.Check Out My Friday Vibe Series: https://thekinkconsultant.substack.com/Connect with Me: ⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@thekinkconsultant⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/the_kinkconsultant/⁠

Strictly Anonymous Confessions: Secret Sex Lives of Total Strangers with Kathy Kay In this episode, I talk with Kathy Kay, host of the Strictly Anonymous podcast and author of Strictly Anonymous Confessions: Secret Sex Lives of Total Strangers. We get into how her hit podcast began with Craigslist ads, how she’s collected over 1,200 real-life sex stories, and what she’s learned about desire, shame, and human nature along the way.Kathy Kay and I dive into the wildest stories from her new book; from 50 gangbangs to secret throuples, and women discovering their sexuality later in life. We talk about how these confessions reveal the truth about what people really want, how she keeps it all anonymous, and why storytelling is the key to normalizing desire without shame.If you’ve ever been curious about the fantasies people keep hidden or just love hearing real stories that prove no one is as “normal” as they seem, this episode is going to be your new guilty pleasure.Pre-order The Book: https://amzn.to/4i7hBCdEpisode Highlights: (00:00) How Strictly Anonymous Confessions Was Born(09:00) The Stories Behind the Book(18:00) Shame, Desire, and Owning Your Pleasure(23:00) Normalizing Nontraditional Relationships(35:00) Why People Crave Anonymity and ConfessionPre-order The Book: https://amzn.to/4i7hBCd⁠Listen to the Podcast: https://www.strictlyanonymouspodcast.com/Connect with Me: ⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@thekinkconsultant⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/the_kinkconsultant/⁠Check Out My Friday Vibe Series: https://thekinkconsultant.substack.com/Speak Your Desires with Confidence - Download this FREE step-by-step guide to having open, honest, and judgment-free conversations about kink, boundaries, and pleasure.https://www.amandadames.com/Speak-Your-Desires-with-Confidence-opt-in-1

What happens when your ADHD brain meets your kink identity? Turns out, they have a lot more in common than you might think.In this episode, I sit down with Cate Osborne, also known as Catieosaurus, sex educator, content creator, and author of The ADHD Field Guide for Adults, to talk about how neurodivergence shapes intimacy, communication, and play. Cate shares her story of being diagnosed with ADHD at 30 and how that discovery changed everything: from her relationships to her career to the way she experiences pleasure.We dive into rejection sensitivity, safe words, aftercare, and why kink can be such a powerful framework for neurodivergent people to feel seen, understood, and safe. Cate also shares insights from her new book, a practical (and very funny) guide to adulting with ADHD, and why she believes self-compassion is one of the most underrated forms of aftercare.If you’ve ever felt “too much,” struggled to ask for what you need, or wanted to understand how kink and neurodivergence overlap, this episode will make you feel a little less alone and a lot more understood.Episode Highlights: 00:00 ADHD and Kink: The Overlap12:21 Rejection Sensitivity and Kink19:23 The Power of Self-Advocacy21:03 Kink and Neurodivergence24:41 Personal Kink Journeys28:54 Normalizing Kink and CommunicationPre-Order her book here: ​​https://catieosaurus.com/the-adhd-field-guideConnect with Cate: https://www.instagram.com/catieosaurus/https://catieosaurus.comConnect with Me: ⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@thekinkconsultant⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/the_kinkconsultant/⁠Let’s take kink to the high seas! Join me at the Kinky Cruise at https://www.kinkycruise.com and use code TKC50 FOR $50 off per person.Speak Your Desires with Confidence - Download this FREE step-by-step guide to having open, honest, and judgment-free conversations about kink, boundaries, and pleasure.https://www.amandadames.com/Speak-Your-Desires-with-Confidence-opt-in-1

What really happens after betrayal, and how do you start to heal when trust has been broken?In this episode, I sit down with Lauren LaRusso, therapist and infidelity specialist, to talk about the messy, painful, and deeply human side of cheating. We explore why infidelity happens, the emotional chaos it brings, and how both partners, the betrayed and the betrayer, can find their way back to honesty and self-understanding.Lauren and I also unpack the connection between kink and infidelity, how fear of rejection, shame, or unmet desires can lead someone to explore outside their relationship. We talk about the importance of vulnerability, honest communication, and the courage it takes to express who you really are before crisis hits.If you’ve ever been cheated on, cheated yourself, or just want to understand what drives betrayal, this episode is a raw, compassionate, deep dive into the psychology of desire, avoidance, and emotional repair.Episode Highlights: 00:00 Defining Cheating and Its Complexities07:28 The Role of Kink in Infidelity19:32 Living Authentically in Relationships22:13 Practicing Honesty in Relationships24:28 Facing the Fear of Abandonment32:11 Resources for Healing and SupportConnect with Lauren: https://www.laurenlarusso.com/contacthttps://www.instagram.com/laurenlarussoConnect with Me: ⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@thekinkconsultant⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/the_kinkconsultant/⁠Speak Your Desires with Confidence - Download this FREE step-by-step guide to having open, honest, and judgment-free conversations about kink, boundaries, and pleasure.https://www.amandadames.com/Speak-Your-Desires-with-Confidence-opt-in-1

Episode 56 - For Beau Delacroix, kink isn’t just play. It’s art, storytelling, and self-expression.In this episode, I go behind the scenes with Beau to talk about how creativity and control come together in his work as a Dom, content creator, and artist. From filming erotic stories to crafting toys by hand, Beau shares how intention, aesthetics, and vulnerability shape every scene he creates.We talk about the balance between dominance and empathy, how to lead with emotional intelligence, and what it means to create art that feels both erotic and human. Beau also opens up about masculinity, shame, and why letting go of perfection is often the most liberating part of creation both in kink and in life.If you’ve ever been curious about the artistry behind BDSM or how creators like Beau turn fantasy into something real, this episode is your invitation to step behind the curtain.Episode Highlights00:00 Journey into Content Creation20:46 Living Openly and Embracing Kink22:59 Navigating Kink Dynamics in Relationships27:07 Teaching Kink to Long-Term Partners30:44 Crafting and Sharing Kink Implements33:34 Balancing Control in Kink and Personal Life40:08 Finding Kinky Partners in the Modern Dating WorldConnect with Beau:https://www.instagram.com/beau_delacroix/https://www.tiktok.com/@beau_delacroixhttps://onlyfans.com/artoforgasmConnect with Me: ⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@thekinkconsultant⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/the_kinkconsultant/⁠Speak Your Desires with Confidence - Download this FREE step-by-step guide to having open, honest, and judgment-free conversations about kink, boundaries, and pleasure.https://www.amandadames.com/Speak-Your-Desires-with-Confidence-opt-in-1

Ready to turn people on and change their lives? Get certified with Somatica at somaticainstitute.com and use code TKC25 for $750 off your enrollment.Episode 56 - In this episode, I sit down with my friend Aubrey Aust, a relational psychology and philosophy researcher from NYU, to unpack the psychology behind BDSM, fantasy, and desire. We talk about how kink can become a space for healing, a “relational laboratory” for exploring trust, safety, and selfhood.Aubrey and I go deep on Freud, daddy issues, jealousy, and why honesty about desire is non-negotiable. We explore how shame can block intimacy, what embodiment really feels like, and how the dynamics of dominance and submission mirror our earliest emotional patterns. Whether you’re a dom, sub, switch, or just curious about the psychology behind play, this conversation will have you thinking about kink in a whole new way.Episode Highlights: (00:00) Exploring Fantasy and Desire Through BDSM(02:45) Revisiting Freud and Modern Sexual Psychology(10:45) The Power of Honesty in Desire and Connection(15:00) Working With Kinky and Non-Kinky Partners(21:00) Embodiment, Boundaries, and Somatic Awareness(29:00) Can Kink Be Therapeutic?(34:00) Relational Energy and Co-Regulation Check out Lube Life's ultra slick, thick silicone lube!Connect with Aubrey Austhttps://www.instagram.com/aubrey__austConnect with Me: ⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@thekinkconsultant⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/the_kinkconsultant/⁠Speak Your Desires with Confidence - Download this FREE step-by-step guide to having open, honest, and judgment-free conversations about kink, boundaries, and pleasure.https://www.amandadames.com/Speak-Your-Desires-with-Confidence-opt-in-1

Ready to turn people on and change their lives? Get certified with Somatica at somaticainstitute.com and use code TKC25 for $750 off your enrollment.Episode 55 - Let’s talk about back door play, the kind of pleasure that deserves way more hype (and way less shame).In this episode, I sit down with Annette Benedetti, host of Talk Sex with Annette and certified sex and intimacy coach, to unpack everything you’ve ever wanted to know about exploring the back door. We get into how to prepare, what to expect, and how to make it fun, safe, and insanely pleasurable for everyone involved.Annette shares her real-life guide; from her favorite toys and plugs to lube tips, comfort positions, and how to talk about it without awkwardness. We also discuss why communication and consent are the ultimate turn-ons, how to handle nerves (and mess), and why curiosity should always come before shame.If you’ve ever been curious about trying backdoor play but weren’t sure where to start, this episode gives you all the confidence, info, and laughter you need to make it your new favorite adventure.Episode Highlights(00:00) The Myth of Virginity and the Power of Experience(12:00) Exploring the Backdoor: Tips, Prep, and Cleanliness(18:00) Backdoor Toys, Training Kits, and Plug Preferences(29:00) Safety Tips, Hygiene, and Aftercare(32:00) Understanding Partners, Boundaries, and Communication(38:00) Breaking Shame and Making Pleasure NormalConnect with Annette: https://www.instagram.com/annettebenedetti/www.youtube.com/@talksexwithannettetalksexwithannette.com/shop-with-annetteConnect with Me: ⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@thekinkconsultant⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/the_kinkconsultant/⁠Speak Your Desires with Confidence - Download this FREE step-by-step guide to having open, honest, and judgment-free conversations about kink, boundaries, and pleasure.https://www.amandadames.com/Speak-Your-Desires-with-Confidence-opt-in-1

Ready to turn people on and change their lives? Get certified with Somatica at somaticainstitute.com and use code TKC25 for $750 off your enrollment.Episode 54 - In this episode, I sit down with Lee, founder of ConCations, the company behind Kinky Cruise and Kinky Caribbean, to talk about what really happens when the kink world hits the high seas. We get into how these cruises came to life, what makes them so different from your typical hotel takeovers, and why so many people leave feeling more connected than ever to themselves, their partners, and the community.Lee also opens up about his own 24/7 power exchange dynamic, what it’s like juggling kink, family, and polyamory, and why these events are about so much more than sex. They’re about finding your people, building real intimacy, and creating spaces where everyone belongs.If you’ve ever wanted to explore lifestyle travel or just love the idea of a vacation where consent, connection, and play come first, this episode will have you ready to pack your cuffs (and maybe your sunscreen).Episode Highlights(00:00) From Weekend Cons to Weeklong Connections(10:00) Bridging Swingers and Kinksters with Swinkation(20:00) High Protocol vs. Everyday Power Exchange(33:00) Beach Parties, Dungeons, and Sex-Positive Play(39:00) Connecting Before the Cruise Starts(41:00) Why This Is Perfect for BeginnersJoin the next Kinky Cruise! Head to https://www.ConCations.com and use the code TKC50 for fifty dollars off your booking!Connect with Me: ⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@thekinkconsultant⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/the_kinkconsultant/⁠Speak Your Desires with Confidence - Download this FREE step-by-step guide to having open, honest, and judgment-free conversations about kink, boundaries, and pleasure.https://www.amandadames.com/Speak-Your-Desires-with-Confidence-opt-in-1

Ready to turn people on and change their lives? Get certified with Somatica at somaticainstitute.com and use code TKC25 for $750 off your enrollment.Episode 53 - In this episode, I sit down with Shelby Devlin, Somatica-certified sex and relationship coach, BDSM educator, and author of The Pleasure Protocol, to talk about her journey from working at a San Francisco fetish boutique to becoming one of the most respected BDSM coaches in the field. We talk about Barbie bondage beginnings, the psychology of power, and why shame-free exploration is the gateway to pleasure that actually lasts.If you’ve ever wanted to understand how BDSM can become a path toward self-awareness, healing, and deeper connection, this conversation is for you.Episode Highlights: (00:00) Barbie Bondage and Early Curiosity(12:00) How Somatica Training Changed Everything(18:00) Combining Somatic Touch and BDSM Coaching(23:00) Healing Shame and Building Safety Through Play(38:00) Communication, Consent, and Aftercare 101Connect with Shelbyhttps://www.shelbydevlin.com/bioConnect with Me: ⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@thekinkconsultant⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/the_kinkconsultant/⁠Speak Your Desires with Confidence - Download this FREE step-by-step guide to having open, honest, and judgment-free conversations about kink, boundaries, and pleasure.https://www.amandadames.com/Speak-Your-Desires-with-Confidence-opt-in-1

Get your kinky breakthrough in just 20 minutes. Book your call with The Kink Consultant here: https://www.amandadames.com/Episode 52 - What happens when your relationship is built on trust, power exchange, and pushing limits together?In this episode, I sit down with Lucas and Hazel of Ripped Digital to talk about what it really takes to live and create on the more extreme side of BDSM. From navigating risk and safety in hardcore play to building a 24/7 power exchange dynamic, Lucas and Hazel share openly about their relationship, their porn production, and why empathy and trust are at the heart of everything they do.We dive into what it means to eroticize shame, how fantasies differ from reality, why safety tools like negotiation checklists and aftercare rituals matter, and how they’ve turned their personal kinks into a professional life that still feels authentic. If you’ve ever wanted to understand what happens behind the scenes of extreme kink content or how couples can thrive while exploring the edges of BDSM,  this is one you won’t want to miss.Episode Highlights: (00:00) Risk Awareness, Safety, and Harm Reduction(06:00) Negotiation, Trust, and First-Time Scenes(12:00) Eroticizing Shame and Exploring Taboo Fantasies(21:00) Aligning Public and Private Kink Identities(30:00) Sadism, Empathy, and Keeping Power in Check(41:00) Why Authentic Headspace Matters More than Scripted Porn(47:00) Cinematic Fantasies and Bucket List Scenes(53:00) Creating Content that Feels Real and ExperientialConnect with Hazel and Lucas ⁠https://ripped.digital/scenes/Home-Movies-Lucas-and-his-little_vids.html⁠Connect with Me: ⁠⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@thekinkconsultant⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/the_kinkconsultant/⁠⁠Speak Your Desires with Confidence - Download this FREE step-by-step guide to having open, honest, and judgment-free conversations about kink, boundaries, and pleasure.⁠https://www.amandadames.com/Speak-Your-Desires-with-Confidence-opt-in-1⁠

Get your kinky breakthrough in just 20 minutes. Book your call with The Kink Consultant here: https://www.amandadames.com/Episode 51 - Ever wondered what really goes down on a Temptation Cruise? Think clothing-optional pool decks, wild theme nights, and the kind of freedom you definitely don’t get on a regular vacation.In this episode, I sit down with Mario Cruz, the Cruise Director who knows all the secrets, to share why these couples-only trips keep selling out. From first-timers finding their confidence to hands-on BDSM workshops and sensual massage classes, Mario gives us a peek behind the curtain at what really makes Temptation Cruises unforgettable.If you’ve ever thought about lifestyle travel or just want to know why people call this “spring break for adults,” this is the episode that will have you ready to pack your bags.Episode Highlights: (00:00) What Happens Inside The Temptation Cruises(04:05) Exploring the Lifestyle on Board(06:56) Cruise Itineraries and Destinations(11:33) Educational Workshops and Activities(17:34) Booking Information and Upcoming CruisesJoin the Temptation Cruiseshttps://temptationcruises.com/Connect with Me: ⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@thekinkconsultant⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/the_kinkconsultant/⁠Speak Your Desires with Confidence - Download this FREE step-by-step guide to having open, honest, and judgment-free conversations about kink, boundaries, and pleasure.https://www.amandadames.com/Speak-Your-Desires-with-Confidence-opt-in-1

Get your kinky breakthrough in just 20 minutes. Book your call with The Kink Consultant here: https://www.amandadames.com/Episode 50 - Back on The Kink Consultant, Larah Sky shares what really goes down when you’re running chastity challenges like Sexless September and Locktober. From easy-mode orgasm schedules to full denial, she breaks down why men keep signing up for chastity plans and what keeps them coming back for more. We also get into the chaos of OnlyFans rules, the viral TikToks that blew up her business, and why chastity has become one of the most talked-about kinks online.If you’ve been thinking about trying chastity, or just want to know what makes it so addictive, this episode gives you the inside scoop (and a good laugh along the way).Episode Highlights: (00:00) Sexless September and Chastity Challenges(09:29) Chastity and Sissy Play(15:49) Challenges with Content Platforms(19:56) Challenges and Strategies on OnlyFans(22:27) Content Restrictions(32:01) Chastity World and Future PlansConnect with Larah SkyType “Larah Sky is legendary on Google” or check out: https://www.larahsky.comhttps://www.larahsky.co.ukhttps://www.chastity.worldConnect with Me: ⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@thekinkconsultant⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/the_kinkconsultant/⁠Speak Your Desires with Confidence - Download this FREE step-by-step guide to having open, honest, and judgment-free conversations about kink, boundaries, and pleasure.https://www.amandadames.com/Speak-Your-Desires-with-Confidence-opt-in-1

Get your kinky breakthrough in just 20 minutes. Book your call with The Kink Consultant here: https://www.amandadames.com/Episode 49 - What makes something a kink, and what makes it a fetish? And can you find your life partner when you either? In this episode, I sit down in person with content creator and professional dom, Miz Darling to explore the deep, messy, and meaningful world of fetish. From spanking and feet, to nylons and cuckolding, we unpack what makes a fetish different from a kink, how these desires form, and how they show up in long-term love and relationships. We also talk about the book we’re co-writing, Complicated Pleasures, and why it was important to tell real stories of fetishists navigating relationships, intimacy, and identity.This episode isn’t just about what turns people on, it’s about how to stay connected when your desires don’t fit the script. Tune in to learn why fetish is really about power, communication, and finding romance in the most unexpected places.Episode Highlights:(0:00) Exploring Common Fetishes(12:29) Introducing the Book Project: Complicated Pleasures(14:19) The Stigma Around Fetishes(15:08) Exploring Relationship Dynamics(19:51) Personal Experiences with Fetishes(22:53) Embracing Your Sexuality(27:00) How to Get InvolvedSubmit Your Stories:https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSdD19PrOEehu7UqLmOo4iISRJe2M7L6VyD0FcTSn0s6A88p0A/viewformMore details about the book: https://complicatedpleasures.ca/Connect with Me: ⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@thekinkconsultant⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/the_kinkconsultant/⁠Speak Your Desires with Confidence - Download this FREE step-by-step guide to having open, honest, and judgment-free conversations about kink, boundaries, and pleasure.https://www.amandadames.com/Speak-Your-Desires-with-Confidence-opt-in-1

Get your kinky breakthrough in just 20 minutes. Book your call with The Kink Consultant here: https://www.amandadames.com/Episode 48 - If you’ve been on more first dates than you can count and you’re still single, chances are you’re making dating mistakes you didn’t even know about.In this episode, I sit down with Lana Ricco, host of the Dating Makeover show and podcast, to dig into the biggest dating mistakes that are quietly keeping people single. From chasing the wrong type of partner, to ignoring red and green flags around money, marriage, and family, Lana breaks down how to approach dating with clarity, strategy, and confidence.We talk about why men and women often marry for very different reasons, how to spot the difference between dominance and toxic “alpha” energy, and why your mindset going into a date matters just as much as your outfit. Lana also shares her own story of getting engaged within days of meeting her husband, and the key questions she asked up front that made the difference.If you’re ready to stop repeating patterns, avoid the traps that keep you stuck, and finally give your dating life a makeover, this conversation will show you where to begin.Episode Highlights: (00:00) The Concept of Dating Makeover(02:50) Insights on Men and Marriage(12:45) Understanding Dominance in Relationships(17:16) Understanding Submissiveness and Dominance(19:55) Cultural Differences in Relationships(23:19) Finding the Right Partner(30:52) Core Questions for Relationship Success(31:40) Knowing When You’re Ready to DateConnect with Lana Riccohttps://www.instagram.com/lana.ricco/https://www.youtube.com/@LanaRiccohttps://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/dating-makeover-with-lana-ricco/id1819348183Connect with Me: ⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@thekinkconsultant⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/the_kinkconsultant/⁠Speak Your Desires with Confidence - Download this FREE step-by-step guide to having open, honest, and judgment-free conversations about kink, boundaries, and pleasure.https://www.amandadames.com/Speak-Your-Desires-with-Confidence-opt-in-1

This episode was recorded weeks before Koby passed. We’re sharing it with love and gratitude, in memory of him. It’s a chance to hear his voice, his story, and his spirit one more time.Episode 47 - In this episode, I get to talk to Koby Falks, adult performer, OnlyFans star, and live sex show headliner, to talk about what it’s like building a career that spans continents, from Australia to the UK and beyond.We get into the realities of performing live on stage, navigating the gay vs. straight OnlyFans markets, and why building a recognizable brand is the key to standing out. Koby also shares his experience on balancing relationships with a public sex work career, how kinks evolve over time, and why sexuality is always more fluid than labels suggest.If you’ve ever wanted the inside story of global content creation and what it really takes to build a career that lasts in this scene, this episode is for you.Episode Highlights: 00:51 Live Sex Shows in Australia05:00 Marketing and Networking in the Gay Community11:30 Maintaining a Business Relationship Post-Breakup22:01 Global Adventures in Filming24:49 Personal Kinks and Preferences30:21 The Dynamics of Sexuality34:18 Balancing Work and Personal Life

Episode 46 - What does your dream girl look like?In this episode, I get to talk with Pepper Kat about how she went from the newsroom to sex work, and why her background in TV and film now fuels her career in storytelling-driven erotica. We dive into the rise of breeding kink (and how Elon Musk weirdly influenced it), the reality of phone sex and camming, and the wildest requests Pepper’s ever gotten. She shares what it’s like to balance business and pleasure, the double lives that people lead to keep their fantasies hidden, why sex work is more mainstream than most people want to admit.If you’ve ever been curious about the business of fantasy or wondered just how far people will go to make their desires real, this one’s for you.Episode Highlights: 00:50 Design Your Dream Girl: A Customized Fantasy Experience02:12 Exploring Popular Kinks and Trends12:39 Phone Sex: Behind the Scenes20:49 The Universality of Sexual Fantasies27:26 Odd Requests and Custom Videos30:46 Double Lives and Relationship Dynamics32:54 Selling Bath Water and Other MerchConnect with Pepper Kat: Website: https://www.pepperkat.com/designyourdreamgirlPodcast: https://www.pepperkat.com/heartfelt-perspectivesConnect with Me: ⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@thekinkconsultant⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/the_kinkconsultant/⁠Speak Your Desires with Confidence - Download this FREE step-by-step guide to having open, honest, and judgment-free conversations about kink, boundaries, and pleasure.https://www.amandadames.com/Speak-Your-Desires-with-Confidence-opt-in-1Ready to explore your desires and elevate your intimate life? Book your FREE 20-minute consultation with The Kink Consultant and discover how personalized coaching can help you unlock your full potential. Whether you’re curious about kink, want to spice things up, or need expert guidance, this is your chance to get tailored advice that meets you where you are. Don’t miss out—schedule your session now and take the first step toward a more fulfilling, authentic you! ⁠Book your consultation here⁠

Episode 45 - Your butt cheeks also need some TLC… In this episode, I’m joined by Flora, a fellow spanko and skincare enthusiast, to talk about keeping your most spanked asset healthy. From preventing scars and managing hyperpigmentation to speeding up bruise recovery and avoiding leather butt, Flora shares the routines, products, and doctor-approved tips that every impact bottom should know.We break down the best ways to protect your skin before a weekend of play, what to do immediately after a scene, and how to keep your cheeks soft, smooth, and ready for the next round. Plus, we get into the realities of party drop, why volunteering matters, and why curiosity is the most underrated thing you can bring to any kink event.If you want your marks to fade faster, your skin to recover quicker, and your other cheeks to get the same love as your face, this one’s for you.Episode Highlights: 04:18 Managing Bruising and Skin Discoloration07:30 Skincare Routines and Tips13:46 The Texas Allstate Spanking Party Experience18:31 Bottoms Up and Community Events20:55 Daily and Post-Play Skincare Recommendations24:13 Understanding and Treating Itchy Skin31:47 Dealing with Leather Butt33:23 The Role of Hydration and Nutrition39:09 The Value of Attending Workshops and ClassesConnect with Flora: FetLife: _f1orahttps://x.com/_f1orahttps://www.clips4sale.com/studio/163305/miss-kelley-mayConnect with Me: ⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@thekinkconsultant⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/the_kinkconsultant/⁠Speak Your Desires with Confidence - Download this FREE step-by-step guide to having open, honest, and judgment-free conversations about kink, boundaries, and pleasure.https://www.amandadames.com/Speak-Your-Desires-with-Confidence-opt-in-1Ready to explore your desires and elevate your intimate life? Book your FREE 20-minute consultation with The Kink Consultant and discover how personalized coaching can help you unlock your full potential. Whether you’re curious about kink, want to spice things up, or need expert guidance, this is your chance to get tailored advice that meets you where you are. Don’t miss out—schedule your session now and take the first step toward a more fulfilling, authentic you! ⁠Book your consultation here⁠.

Episode 44 -Think you could handle working in a professional dungeon? In this episode of The Kink Consultant, I’m back with Mistress Verna for Part 2 of our behind-the-scenes look at life as retired dominatrixes. We’re digging into how this work helped us explore and define our sexuality, the boundaries we had to build to stay safe, and the trust it took to thrive in a job built on power exchange.We swap stories about some of our most unforgettable clients, what we learned about ourselves through this work, and whether we’d actually recommend dungeon life to someone curious about going pro. Spoiler alert: it’s not for the faint of heart, but it definitely gave us tools we still use to this day.Tune in to hear what it really takes to be a pro dom, beyond the latex and fantasy,  and why this career path changed how we see sex, power, and ourselves.Episode Highlights: 02:34 Learning and Growth in the Dungeon10:30 Unique Client Stories and Advice21:55 Unusual Requests and Experiences24:59 Building Friendships and Skills30:59 Reflections on Being a Dominatrix37:17 Advice for Aspiring DominatrixesConnect with Me: ⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@thekinkconsultant⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/the_kinkconsultant/⁠Join The Kinky Book Club: https://www.patreon.com/amandadames/membershipSpeak Your Desires with Confidence - Download this FREE step-by-step guide to having open, honest, and judgment-free conversations about kink, boundaries, and pleasure.https://www.amandadames.com/Speak-Your-Desires-with-Confidence-opt-in-1Ready to explore your desires and elevate your intimate life? Book your FREE 20-minute consultation with The Kink Consultant and discover how personalized coaching can help you unlock your full potential. Whether you’re curious about kink, want to spice things up, or need expert guidance, this is your chance to get tailored advice that meets you where you are. Don’t miss out—schedule your session now and take the first step toward a more fulfilling, authentic you! ⁠Book your consultation here⁠.

Episode 43 - What really goes on behind the velvet curtain of a New York City dungeon? In this episode of The Kink Consultant, I catch up with my longtime friend and former dungeon-mate Mistress Verna to spill the tea on our years working as professional dominatrixes in one of the city's most infamous kink spaces.We get into everything they don't show you in the movies — the hazing rituals, the gossip, the client mind games, the surprise police visits, and the unspoken rules that ran the place. We also talk about the real stuff: the power dynamics, the politics, and how we built safety, sisterhood, and strategy in a space that was chaotic at best and dangerous at worst.Tune in to find out what really goes down in a professional dungeon and why being a pro dom isn't just about fantasy. It's about finesse, boundaries, and knowing exactly who’s in charge.Episode Highlights: 00:51 The Reality of Working at the Dungeon14:49 Client Interactions and Techniques22:18 Reflecting on Client Dynamics25:34 Client Lies and Secrets27:08 Sex Rules and Gossip31:01 Raids and Safety Protocols36:37 Journalist IncidentConnect with Me: ⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@thekinkconsultant⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/the_kinkconsultant/⁠Join The Kinky Book Club: https://www.patreon.com/amandadames/membershipSpeak Your Desires with Confidence - Download this FREE step-by-step guide to having open, honest, and judgment-free conversations about kink, boundaries, and pleasure.https://www.amandadames.com/Speak-Your-Desires-with-Confidence-opt-in-1Ready to explore your desires and elevate your intimate life? Book your FREE 20-minute consultation with The Kink Consultant and discover how personalized coaching can help you unlock your full potential. Whether you’re curious about kink, want to spice things up, or need expert guidance, this is your chance to get tailored advice that meets you where you are. Don’t miss out—schedule your session now and take the first step toward a more fulfilling, authentic you! ⁠Book your consultation here⁠.

Episode 42 -Why is it so hard to talk about sex, even with people we trust? In this episode of The Kink Consultant, I’m joined by Tess and Kels, co-founders of Squirm and co-hosts of the Porn Nerds podcast, to explore how we can make sex ed not just informative but also sexy, playful, and actually useful.We dive into their journey from coworkers to creative collaborators, their mission to destigmatize conversations about porn and desire, and how they built Squirm as a space where adult sex ed meets humor, eroticism, and real communication. From their audio course Oral Hygiene to their Get Squirmy card deck and live events, Tess and Kels are helping people go beyond shame and speak about sex with clarity, confidence, and creativity.Whether you’ve struggled to talk about what turns you on, want to bring more curiosity into your kink conversations, or simply wish porn had a better PR team, this episode will expand your vocabulary, your imagination, and your confidence in navigating communication around sex, BDSM, and desire.Get 20% off of the Get Squirmy Conversation Deck when you use the code: KINKCONSULTANThttps://www.getsquirmy.com/product-page/get-squirmyEpisode Highlights: 03:45 Introducing Squirm: Sex Ed for Adults06:32 The Concept of Sexy Sex Ed17:23 The Role of Porn in Sex Education21:52 Contextualizing Media and Reality25:20 Porn as a Tool for Sexual Exploration27:06 Navigating Sexual Communication36:45 Exploring the Get Squirmy EventsConnect with Tess and Kels https://linktr.ee/squirmConnect with Me: ⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@thekinkconsultant⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/the_kinkconsultant/⁠Speak Your Desires with Confidence - Download this FREE step-by-step guide to having open, honest, and judgment-free conversations about kink, boundaries, and pleasure.https://www.amandadames.com/Speak-Your-Desires-with-Confidence-opt-in-1Ready to explore your desires and elevate your intimate life? Book your FREE 20-minute consultation with The Kink Consultant and discover how personalized coaching can help you unlock your full potential. Whether you’re curious about kink, want to spice things up, or need expert guidance, this is your chance to get tailored advice that meets you where you are. Don’t miss out—schedule your session now and take the first step toward a more fulfilling, authentic you! ⁠Book your consultation here⁠.

Episode 41 -What actually allows us to feel safe in relationships? In this episode of The Kink Consultant, I’m joined by Aubrey Aust, a Master’s student at NYU researching relational safety, who explores themes of attachment styles, somatics, and kink to examine the systems and sensations that shape how we connect with others.We talk about how BDSM dynamics bring power, vulnerability, and consent to the surface in ways that most relationships suppress. Aubrey shares why kink can serve as a relational laboratory, how cultural scripts influence our nervous systems, and what it means to move through the world with curiosity and care. We also dive into shadow work, language around needs, and how we unlearn what no longer protects us.Whether you're navigating kink, reflecting on past patterns, or rethinking how you build safety with others, this conversation is a powerful starting point. You’ll walk away with deeper insight into your own relational wiring and why safety is about more than just feeling comfortable.Episode Highlights: 02:40 Power Dynamics in Relationships06:32 Attachment Styles and Safety11:58 Language and Communication in Relationships15:26 Somatic Psychology and Healing18:07 Exploring EMDR Therapy22:12 Unlearning and HealingConnect with Aubreyhttp://www.aubreyaust.com/https://instagram.com/aubrey__austhttps://www.linkedin.com/in/aubrey-aust-8b7744174/Connect with Me: ⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@thekinkconsultant⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/the_kinkconsultant/⁠Join The Kinky Book Club: https://www.patreon.com/amandadames/membershipSpeak Your Desires with Confidence - Download this FREE step-by-step guide to having open, honest, and judgment-free conversations about kink, boundaries, and pleasure.https://www.amandadames.com/Speak-Your-Desires-with-Confidence-opt-in-1Ready to explore your desires and elevate your intimate life? Book your FREE 20-minute consultation with The Kink Consultant and discover how personalized coaching can help you unlock your full potential. Whether you’re curious about kink, want to spice things up, or need expert guidance, this is your chance to get tailored advice that meets you where you are. Don’t miss out—schedule your session now and take the first step toward a more fulfilling, authentic you! ⁠Book your consultation here⁠.

Episode 40 -Ever wondered what it’s like to be the face and body on the cover of your favorite romance novel? In this episode of The Kink Consultant, I sit down with real-life couple Jose and Andrea (aka Mama) to talk about what it’s like to build a modeling career out of smut, how kink became part of their dynamic, and the power of being seen, desired, and fully expressed.We dive into how Mama helped launch Jose’s modeling and acting career, what it means to embody fantasy for an audience while staying grounded in real-life connection, and how kink helped deepen their intimacy after decades together. From daddy/little dynamics to caretaking, long-distance journaling, and the gift of growing older while still exploring, this conversation is equal parts sexy, sweet, and deeply affirming.Whether you’ve ever dreamed of being on a book cover, or you’re just curious what it’s like behind the scenes of a real-life smut model relationship, this one’s for you.Episode Highlights: 01:01 From Childhood Friends to Lifelong Partners05:53 Transitioning from Military to Modeling12:02 Exploring Romance Novels Together14:31 Opening Up About Desires21:59 Navigating Book Conventions32:35 Balancing Personal and Couple Growth36:10 Jose's Journey into Acting39:45 Advice for Aspiring Cover ModelsConnect with Me: ⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@thekinkconsultant⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/the_kinkconsultant/⁠Join The Kinky Book Club: https://www.patreon.com/amandadames/membershipSpeak Your Desires with Confidence - Download this FREE step-by-step guide to having open, honest, and judgment-free conversations about kink, boundaries, and pleasure.https://www.amandadames.com/Speak-Your-Desires-with-Confidence-opt-in-1Ready to explore your desires and elevate your intimate life? Book your FREE 20-minute consultation with The Kink Consultant and discover how personalized coaching can help you unlock your full potential. Whether you’re curious about kink, want to spice things up, or need expert guidance, this is your chance to get tailored advice that meets you where you are. Don’t miss out—schedule your session now and take the first step toward a more fulfilling, authentic you! ⁠Book your consultation here⁠.

What happens when a professional dom and pleasure coach sits down to unpack the psychology of kink, power, and pleasure? In this episode of The Kink Consultant, I’m joined by the brilliant Sir Marvelous, a pro dom, educator, and content creator who's on a mission to make BDSM more accessible, intentional, and deeply satisfying. From his early journey with sex toys to his current work guiding individuals and couples through personalized kinky experiences, this conversation is full of both fire and insight.We talk about everything from the difference between dominance and leadership, to the importance of safe, ongoing negotiation in kink sessions. Sir Marvelous shares his thoughts on why BDSM isn’t just about play. It’s about learning, evolving, and closing the pleasure gap through communication. We dive into topics like edging, mind play, denial, why submission doesn’t mean weakness, and how even a simple sex toy changed the trajectory of his life (shoutout to that random man outside the NYC sex shop!). He also opens up about his teaching philosophy, the role of ego in intimacy, and the importance of making space for joy, curiosity, and mutual exploration.If you’ve ever been curious about what it’s like to hire a pro dom, how to introduce kink to your relationship, or why pleasure is something worth investing in, this episode is packed with truth bombs and transformative takeaways. Tune in and discover how BDSM can be a path to connection—not just in the bedroom, but in life.Episode Highlights: 01:27 Understanding Pro Dom and Pleasure Coach10:17 The Importance of Continuous Learning in Kink17:20 Empowering Women Through Sexual Liberation19:39 Shifting Preferences in Adult Content25:32 Discovering Kink31:06 The Importance of Communication in BDSMConnect with Sir Marveloushttps://www.sirmarvelous.com/Connect with Me: ⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@thekinkconsultant⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/the_kinkconsultant/⁠Speak Your Desires with Confidence - Download this FREE step-by-step guide to having open, honest, and judgment-free conversations about kink, boundaries, and pleasure.https://www.amandadames.com/Speak-Your-Desires-with-Confidence-opt-in-1Ready to explore your desires and elevate your intimate life? Book your FREE 20-minute consultation with The Kink Consultant and discover how personalized coaching can help you unlock your full potential. Whether you’re curious about kink, want to spice things up, or need expert guidance, this is your chance to get tailored advice that meets you where you are. Don’t miss out—schedule your session now and take the first step toward a more fulfilling, authentic you! ⁠Book your consultation here⁠.

My favorite kink singer-songwriter needs our help. Deore, the incredible artist behind the Brat EP, is back and this time, she’s gearing up to release a full-length concept album called Tantrums. But in true brat fashion, she’s doing it her way: no label, no safety net, and fully trusting her kinky, ride-or-die community to bring it to life.In this episode of The Kink Consultant, we talk about what it means to quit your job, follow your creative calling, and make music that actually reflects the reality of kink. Deore opens up about writing Tantrums from scratch, navigating service sub dynamics while in creative mode, and the very bratty legal battle over a coffee ban that had all of Instagram in stitches. We also get into how kink shows up in her relationship, how her Dom evolved alongside her, and why the idea of “ready-made” Doms is a myth.If you’e also craving for more kinky music or just want to support someone making wildly accurate, emotionally raw bangers about submission, dominance, and desire, this is the episode (and the crowdfund) to show up for. Head to Indiegogo and search Tantrums to support the album before time runs out.Support The Album Here: https://www.indiegogo.com/projects/tantrums-a-kinky-concept-album#/Connect with Deore: https://www.instagram.com/deorebby/Episode Highlights: 01:44 The Journey of Creating the Brat Album09:20 The Kink Council and Coffee Ban Saga21:11 Challenges in Music Production21:42 Overcoming Vulnerability and Trust Issues24:18 Crowdfunding and Community Support26:31 Kink and Relationship Dynamics28:52 The Role of Media in Kink Exploration34:39 Upcoming Album and Crowdfunding DetailsConnect with Me: ⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@thekinkconsultant⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/the_kinkconsultant/⁠I’m Co-Authoring a Book! Get updated here: https://www.complicatedpleasures.caSpeak Your Desires with Confidence - Download this FREE step-by-step guide to having open, honest, and judgment-free conversations about kink, boundaries, and pleasure.https://www.amandadames.com/Speak-Your-Desires-with-Confidence-opt-in-1Ready to explore your desires and elevate your intimate life? Book your FREE 20-minute consultation with The Kink Consultant and discover how personalized coaching can help you unlock your full potential. Whether you’re curious about kink, want to spice things up, or need expert guidance, this is your chance to get tailored advice that meets you where you are. Don’t miss out—schedule your session now and take the first step toward a more fulfilling, authentic you! ⁠Book your consultation here⁠.

What happens when a self-proclaimed vanilla romance lover brings a spicy book to The Kink Consultant for a breakdown?In this episode, I’m joined by Brenda (my Bizdom) and Tish (my podcast editor and first-time guest) as we kick off the official Kink Consultant Book Club with a deep dive into The Deep End by Ali Hazelwood, plus a quick update on my own dating life. I share my take on the book through the lens of a kink consultant and why the story felt a little too close to home. Because while we were reading about a dom who disappears for days and a sub who doesn’t speak up for what she needs, I was ending a real-life relationship that unraveled for the exact same reason: lack of communication. The timing couldn’t have been more aligned.We explore the difference between fantasy and functional dynamics, how kink is portrayed in books versus how it plays out in real life, and why honest communication will always be hotter than skipping straight to the sex.If you’ve ever read a spicy scene and thought, “Wait… is this how it actually works?” or you’re curious about how kink and power exchange show up beyond the page, this one’s for you.Episode Highlights: 04:21 Discussing 'The Deep End' by Ali Hazelwood11:01 Amanda's Relationship Update15:09 Navigating Kink and Communication in Relationships19:03 Cultural Differences in Communication20:44 The Importance of Communication in Kink25:32 Sexual vs. Non-Sexual Kinks30:29 Fantasy vs. Reality in Kink35:29 Final Thoughts on 'The Deep End'36:32 Join the Kink Consultant Book ClubJoin the Book Club: https://www.patreon.com/amandadames/membershipRead Deep End by Ali Hazelwood: https://amzn.to/43PFYiYConnect with Me: ⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@thekinkconsultant⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/the_kinkconsultant/⁠Speak Your Desires with Confidence - Download this FREE step-by-step guide to having open, honest, and judgment-free conversations about kink, boundaries, and pleasure.https://www.amandadames.com/Speak-Your-Desires-with-Confidence-opt-in-1Ready to explore your desires and elevate your intimate life? Book your FREE 20-minute consultation with The Kink Consultant and discover how personalized coaching can help you unlock your full potential. Whether you’re curious about kink, want to spice things up, or need expert guidance, this is your chance to get tailored advice that meets you where you are. Don’t miss out—schedule your session now and take the first step toward a more fulfilling, authentic you! ⁠Book your consultation here⁠.

Is it possible to find a partner that matches your freak? In Part 2 of my conversation with Kai and Sarah, we dig into what it really looks like to build a relationship around a shared spanking fetish, emotional compatibility, and a power exchange dynamic that works in real life, not just in fantasy.We explore how their connection evolved from long-distance play partners to a deeply aligned partnership, the structure behind their domestic discipline, and the rituals and rules that support their relationship. They also share how they navigate playing with others, how punishment shows up beyond spanking, and what happens when things don’t go as planned in a scene.Whether you're dreaming of a dynamic like theirs, navigating kink in your own relationship, or simply curious about how this can look in real life, this episode offers insight, nuance, and a reminder that there is no one way to build something meaningful, just your way.Episode Highlights: 03:48 Building a Relationship with Power Exchange15:27 Daily Rituals and Alternative Punishments21:47 Struggles and Acceptance of Spanking Desires23:57 The Depth of Kinky Relationships34:16 The Importance of Community39:27 Rules and Consequences in Spanko Dynamics44:46 Advice for Newcomers46:42 Future Projects and Normalizing FetishesRead Kai’s Writings About Spanking: https://fetlife.com/KaiDiscipline/posts/12433740https://fetlife.com/KaiDiscipline/posts/11441429https://fetlife.com/KaiDiscipline/posts/6366955Connect with Kai and Sarahhttps://fetlife.com/KaiDisciplinehttps://fetlife.com/Stormborn9 Connect with Me: ⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@thekinkconsultant⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/the_kinkconsultant/⁠I’m Co-Authoring a Book! Get updated here: https://www.complicatedpleasures.caSpeak Your Desires with Confidence - Download this FREE step-by-step guide to having open, honest, and judgment-free conversations about kink, boundaries, and pleasure.https://www.amandadames.com/Speak-Your-Desires-with-Confidence-opt-in-1Ready to explore your desires and elevate your intimate life? Book your FREE 20-minute consultation with The Kink Consultant and discover how personalized coaching can help you unlock your full potential. Whether you’re curious about kink, want to spice things up, or need expert guidance, this is your chance to get tailored advice that meets you where you are. Don’t miss out—schedule your session now and take the first step toward a more fulfilling, authentic you! ⁠Book your consultation here⁠.

What happens when two people spend years suppressing a core part of themselves only to realize that denying their identity comes at too high a cost? In this episode of The Kink Consultant, I sit down with Kai and Sarah for Part 1 of a powerful two-part series exploring how their shared spanking fetish shaped their personal growth, relationships, and ultimately, their path to each other.We talk about what it was like to try to “make it work” in partnerships that didn’t share their kink, the emotional toll of trying to suppress a core need, and how meeting one another brought clarity, healing, and fulfillment. This conversation goes deep into identity, compatibility, and the courage it takes to choose alignment over obligation.Whether you’re wrestling with your identity, navigating kink in a relationship, or searching for connection that truly sees you, this episode offers perspective, validation, and the reminder that you're not alone.In Part 2, we’ll dive into how Kai and Sarah play within their domestic discipline dynamic, how they navigate playing with others, and the rules and structure they’ve built to make it work, so stay tuned for that! Episode Highlights: 02:53 Challenges in Relationships and Spanking04:43 Finding Fulfillment and Community17:03 Discipline and Accountability in Spanking20:07 Reflecting on First Spanking Experiences22:12 The Challenges of Exploring Kinks in Marriage25:39 Finding Compatibility and Connection31:26 Practicing Domestic Discipline37:10 Advice for Those Struggling with Kink AcceptanceConnect with Kai and Sarahhttps://fetlife.com/KaiDisciplinehttps://fetlife.com/Stormborn9 Connect with Me: ⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@thekinkconsultant⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/the_kinkconsultant/⁠Book Mentioned: Sex with Shakespeare by Jillian KeenanPodcast Mentioned: Never Too Old for Agoodspankin https://open.spotify.com/show/2nmEpCSJn9UEigZp3Z1uKc?si=2e07e3435b174154Speak Your Desires with Confidence - Download this FREE step-by-step guide to having open, honest, and judgment-free conversations about kink, boundaries, and pleasure.https://www.amandadames.com/Speak-Your-Desires-with-Confidence-opt-in-1Ready to explore your desires and elevate your intimate life? Book your FREE 20-minute consultation with The Kink Consultant and discover how personalized coaching can help you unlock your full potential. Whether you’re curious about kink, want to spice things up, or need expert guidance, this is your chance to get tailored advice that meets you where you are. Don’t miss out—schedule your session now and take the first step toward a more fulfilling, authentic you! ⁠Book your consultation here⁠.