THE LOUDEST PODCAST

DSJ is normally patreon-only, but...they're talking about my favorite internet man and I just can't keep this to myself. Even though her show is named after DarkSydePhil, Niko has never heard or watched him...UNTIL NOW HAPPY HALLOWEEN MWA-HA-HA-HA

She really did watch a lot of "My Royal Nemesis"

Yes, we watch "the" video...

Cobra was our addiction. DSP is our Methadone.

I really tried to get out of watching this scene. She went to incredible lengths to torrent and convert it.

We hereby judge this movie...GUILTY! (of being GREAT)

Asterios finds his "forever" haircut

My wife made me say a bad word Also: Rejoice, Naruto fans! You will feel especially seen this episode

Also: Asterios learns he's a "Pennsylvania 10"

Yes, we talk about the foot thing

Also: Asterios encounters a foot fetish shoot while exercising at the gymnasium Also Also: We get way too into Zootopia

Also: Asterios saw the Springsteen movie, and sings about how bad it is

Yes, that Victorious Also, this photo will make more sense when you hear the episode

Both incredibly unnecessary 

And: We plan a highly Catholic (looking) wedding.

And: A very "special" McDonald's employee goes too far with Rancho.

You'll NEVER believe who won the Squid Games! I sure don't

Are you looking for the best put the fries in the bag ever of all time top 10 top ten? You're in luck: We've collected the ten best 10 best Josh Joshua "World of T-Shirts" Block from the TikTok application who is told to "put the fries in the bag" frybaggings from frybaggers and frybags and fries and fribaggings and french friesbaggings

And: Rancho's Sims kids keep getting taken by CPS.

FLINT AND STEEL! *theater explodes*

WRONG THING #1: They wouldn't let Asterios into the theater

This week: Rancher Rancho gives us a roundup of her..."special interests," including Mr. Based, World of T-Shirts, King Cobra JFS, Wings of Redemption and Nathen Mazri (a.k.a. "Mr. MegaMind"). Also: Nathfield Podcast The Nathfield Podcast Nathen Mazri GarfieldEATS Show Nanoblaster 5G Nano Blaster 5-G Garfield Eats Mr. Sub Mister Sub Episode Four Episode 4

Hey! Quick note: Patreon said they'd like to feature TLP on the front page. They've asked we make a few posts a week for a while, and to make them all free to the public. So expect to hear a lot more from us for a bit.

Asterios' nieces teach him a cool new dance!

We finished it! You can't say we didn't. 

They found a way to make it even more traumatizing.

Can YOU guess how long we made it before turning it off?

50% terrifying, 50% hilarious, 100% unhappy she made me watch this.

We're all praying this is her last birthday Edited by ZWICK!

Some of these recipes WON'T kill you!

And: WorldOfTshirts releases the song of the summer. And And: Kanye West sexts his assistant—which is 100% not allowed!

And: our local 7-11 experiences a devastating coup d'état

There's blood on your hands, listeners!

We're traveling this week + couldn't record a full episode! But here's an all-new tale of Asterios not knowing how to be normal.

The Bloxburg Protests are in full effect. Rancho has the latest.

And, for tax purposes, we read The Big Bang Theory's "Big Book of Lists"

And: Joe-Joe Siwa "wrote" a new song

And: Rancho spends her free time emailing ass-scientists. (I swear to God, not clickbait.)

Who knew an underground weed "restaurant" in an abandoned bagel store could be bad

What do our vulnerable child stars need? Two words: Nathen Mazri.

In the Zoomers hour of need, their digital savior returns...

Sirancha's Hamtaro pencil toppers arrive just in time for us to review "Hamtaro: The Captive Princess."

And: Asterios finds a way to insult every single Sephora employee at once

Also: Sirancha fails to buy 100 Hamtaro pencil toppers. Three different times.

Also: Rancho takes her first dab ever (with her little brother)

Also: Asterios gets banned from the family Minecraft server

For her birthday, Rancho makes us all play TikTok's favorite new visual novel, the sociopath-simulator "Class of '09"

Also: Rancho chases three different wild birds out of our house

Asterios did something so stupid it would have gone viral on Buzzfeed back in 2011. Also: we dive into the world of "World Of T-Shirts!"

And: Niko teaches you the right (and wrong) way to trip balls