The Me I’m Becoming

Trigger Warning: This episode discusses sexual assault, rape, and childhood abuse.I’ve spent a long time being unsure if I would ever cover this topic because of how painful it is to talk about. But I know I am not alone, and it’s time to break the silence. This episode was born out of several recent, deep conversations with someone I consider a a force to be reckoned with - my long-lost soul sister, who has continued to empower me on my healing journey.In this incredibly raw bonus episode, I am sharing my personal survival story. I talk about being assaulted between 2017 and 2018 by a prominent local figure, how childhood trauma left me vulnerable to predators, and the devastating impact of the victim-blaming and slut-shaming I faced when I finally spoke out.Speaking up takes away your privacy, but it also takes away the abuser's power. It took a long time to realize that the shame of this crime does not belong to me - it belongs entirely to the person who did it.Thank you for listening and supporting me through the hardest episode I've ever had to record.If you need support after listening to this episode, please reach out to 1800RESPECT. You do not have to carry this alone.

This episode is for the survivors who struggle silently around Mother’s Day.After six months away from the podcast, I wanted to come back with an honest conversation about the complicated grief that can come with being no contact with an abusive mother or family. In this episode, I open up about the emotions this time of year brings up for me personally - the sadness, anger, grief, flashbacks, and the feeling of mourning a relationship that never truly existed in the way it should have.I also talk about what has helped me navigate these triggers, including journalling, allowing myself to feel emotions instead of suppressing them, and learning that healing isn’t linear.If Mother’s Day is painful for you, I hope this episode reminds you that your feelings are valid and that you are not alone.Thank you for being here and for allowing me to reconnect with this community again after some time away.Trigger warning: discussions of emotional abuse, trauma, grief, flashbacks, and family estrangement.