Episodes
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90 | A Very British End of the World (Broccoli)
The lads return with important news about the nature of podcasting. Then it's off to the races with Wrong About Books segment about Jo Furniss's lovely novel, All the Little Children. Plus an ad for a chair, and some other stuff, too! Intro Gag: Comin’ to ya live from the duck farm, I’m Tom Rich...
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89 | The Boys are Back in Clown
After a long absence, the boys return to tell you all about their Protospiel escapades, in an episode rife with references to people who are completely unaware of how many nicknames they have. Revel as we tell you about prototypes that we got to play with, but you never will. Plus an all-new…
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88 | Mayonnaiser and Mayonnaiser
This is an episode of the podcast. It has a first segment, and a second segment. There are also some funny joke commercials. Please enjoy responsibly. Intro Gag: Comin' to you live from the MEAT-ing room, I'm Tom Rich and with me as always is a conference table made of ham, and this is the mildly...
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87 | How to Train Your Broccoli
This week, in the book review segment of their board game podcast, the boys review a video game. Because we live in a world of uncertainty, and you could die at any second. LIKE RIGHT NOW! Or maybe a different second. Watch out. Intro Gag: Comin' to you live from the Good Ship Cupcake, I'm…
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86 | Knight of the Elephant Mage: Library Edition
Q: When is a Mage also a Knight. A: Only when you can Ranged Attack 3 by using a white mana token on your Swiftness card to knock out a werehorse before it can kick you. That's right, kids: we talk about Mage Knight this week, and then have another round of Elephant v. Library. Adventure!...
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85 | Things We Like
Well, the boys are at it again as they talk about what happens when you click Like buttons (goblins steal your shoes) and also what happens when you combine Settlers of Catan with Time n' Space (goblins return your shoes). Really, the whole thing was just an experiment to figure out what goblins…
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84 | What Possum?
Apparently Tom has given up on writing these episode summaries, so I'm just going to put the lyrics to Hocus Pocus by Focus. Joladadijoladadijoladadijoladadi Joladadijoladadi-jo-o-ooh! Joladadijoladadijoladadijoladadi Joladadijoladadi-jo-o-ooh! Oooooh-oooooh-oooooh-oooooh... Intro Gag: Comin’ to…
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83 | Burn Before Reading
This week the boys review Lev Grossman's "The Magicians" and have so much to say it takes up the whole hour, and then some! Do you think they liked it? You'll have to listen to find out. (Hint: They did not.) Intro Gag: Comin’ to ya live from the alphabet uprising, I’m Johannes Stauffer and with…
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82 | Das Theaternachten III: Nacht dur Grundlefruder
You know what we all need in these days of strife and weirdness? A happy little night at the theater. You know, some men go on a stage and make sounds, we eat the corn that has popped, some other men put bags on our heads and spirit us away in a black van to wile away our days digging up soup in...
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81 | Broccoloccoloccoli
The boys triumphantly return to talk about alliances for a while: how they work, what they are, and whether or not they qualify for federal subsidies under the Board Game Development and Redistribution Act. Then they're off to a magical land of pony and dog shows to talk about some other things....
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80 | Calapiller
This week on the Mildly Alarming Podcast, your hosts review Knot Dice, the new game from Black Oak Games. They also completely fail to avoid the insipid "Knot/Not" joke, and thus consign themselves to comedy hell. Then it's time once again to ball a few themes with Themeballin'. Plus an ad for…
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79 | Never Make a Better Wizard
This week on the Mildly Alarming Podcast, we talk all about a game that Tom played at an office Christmas party, and how it might be made more gamerly. Also, it's our Christmas spectacular this week, with a very special Mildly Alarming Theater, and an advertisement from an actual saint. Also...
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78 | The Final Clowntdown
Once upon a time, Johannes and Tom's friend Devan said "hey guys, give me some of your money and I'll buy us the opportunity to be locked in a room where we have to solve puzzles in order to get out." And they did, and it turned out to be a heck of a good time and not, say, a front for illegal...
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77 | The Podcasatriliadyssey
Sing, O goddess, the folly of the Mildly Alarming Podcast / that brought countless ills upon the nerds who made it. / Many a brave soul did it send smacking hand to forehead / and also side to side shaking the craggy brows. / For so were the councils of Jove fulfilled that day, when first the...
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76 | Arguments, but Friendly Like, But Not Really
Gather around a serious table with all the other serious people to talk about serious things. Then retire to your serious room at the serious conference to tell all of your serious friends about how you lied at the other thing. In case you don't get my elaborate reference to the Treaty of...
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75 | Barnyard Antics
The boys become obsessed with a new hashtag this week while simultaneously hoping that it doesn't turn out to be something disgusting. They talk about the difficulty of designing with tiny amounts of components, mock people who play bass, and make jokes about cattle in wedding dresses. Plus a...
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BONUS | Breaking Election News
Maybe dumb jokes will take the edge off that whole election thing? Maybe? We made some. Enjoy them!
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74 | Extreme Moisture Boat
Do you like submarines? We like submarines. And by that we mean board games where you drive submarines around, because real submarines involve being under the water for months with a bunch of sweaty sailors and probably smell, just, SO BAD by the time your cruise is done. You gotta really want to...
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73 | Chipisode III: Return of the Beauvais
Chip Beauvais emerges from his eons-long entombment in our green room this week to rule for a thousand years and also to tell us about his new game, Universal Rule. Plus a discussion of indy RPG "Everyone is John," adds for agricultural and laundry products, and Johannes sticks his hand in a...
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72 | Krokorok, Pelipper, Scizor
Tom didn't write anything here even though it's LITERALLY THE ONLY JOB HE HAS ON THE PODCAST. So I guess I have to tell you that this episode is about how to commit the perfect murder with everyday objects you might find lying about . Y'know, rocks, paper, scissors - that sort of thing. Then we...
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71 | Occidental Disorientation
The boys stumble and bumble their way through a discussion of the etymology of "The Orient" this week, followed by a little recreational themeball, only those things happened in the opposite order in reality land. Plus the latest news from Mildly Alarming Radio News, and a special message from…
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70 | Oh the Humanatee
Tonight, the Mildly Alarming Podcast doles out harsh truths about Trivial Pursuit, strange truths about Gary Smoolihan, and awkward truths about their own interior lives (spoiler alert: they like farting and butts). Plus commercials for leopards, a visit from a guy called Joe, and no references…
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69 | BattleShifts
Have you ever wondered what Battleship would be like if it wasn't like the way it is? Well, you're in for a treat today, friend, because the boys spend a solid quarter of this episode talking about ways that Battleship could be different from the way that it is so that it could be better maybe....
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68 | Sick Die Roll, Bruh
Can you flick a die off the back of your hand while hopskotching, shoot it under a leg, have it bounce off the door, onto the table, into Gary's mouth, out his second mouth, and have it land exactly where you want it? No? Then we absolutely want you for our Dungeon Fighter review. Plus…
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67 | Karf! Karf karf! Karf!
This week's podcast is largely just us talking about a different episode of a different podcast which aired over two years ago. Because we are professionals. But stay tuned after that for the announcement of an exciting new product from the makers of your favorite sweet-and-savory dessert pastry,...
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66 | This is Where You Get Your Kicks At
Protospiel has come and gone again, and the boys talk about what they saw, the feedback they got, and how John "The Iron Lion" Chaffer suplexed thirty men and one musk ox through a brewery floor. We didn't enter this year's Protospiel Rasslin' Championship, but after seeing that musk ox plummet...
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65 | Interview with the Axe Cop Guy (Not a Vampire)
Through a combination of dark magic, enormous bags filled with hard cash, and shameless begging, your hosts land an interview with Ethan Nicolle, author of Axe Cop, Bearmageddon, and a bunch of other rad stuff. We talk about drawing pictures, writing stories, and then get interrupted by either...
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64 | The Calm Before the [Game Design] Storm
The boys are SO PUMPED for the upcoming Protospiel game convention that they just have to spill all of their secrets onto the internet for every rival game designer to steal. So enjoy that, rival game designers! Plus commercials for two other shows, and Tom possibly getting his stupid ass fired...
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63 | Better Safe Than Racist
It's funny, because there's definitely audio attached, but neither of us has any recollection of making it. That means we don't have any responsibility for the content, right? We're gonna go with right. None of this is our fault, and we can't, say, have all of our assets frozen for putting it on...
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62 | Play a Ham Like the Bongos
Tonight on the Mildly Alarming Podcast, the boys discuss trading in games, and whether or not fistfuls of raw, unprocessed cash should constitute a valid means of interacting with other players. Then it's onward and upward when we take Risk and The Resistance and smash them together in our…
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61 | A Parliament of Snakes
It's like this. You go down to the VFA and vote for a delegate. The delegate votes for an elector. The elector votes for a representative. The representative goes to a cabin. The cabin is in the woods. The woods take a poll of various dogs, foxes, and species of birds. The results are given to…
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60 | Gotta Know When to Fold 'Em
In a truly amazing feat, the lads managed to make it through an entire segment on casino games without once mentioning Kenny Rogers or his seminal song, "The Gambler." Their failure will surely be met by swift and savage retribution from the Kennocracy. If they don't hurry, they'll be taken via...
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59 | Pretty Little Souped Up Four Wheel Drive
See, the thing is, that two people build a thing together, and it's theirs. It doesn't belong to just one of them. They sit down to play a board game, and they agree to the rules, and then one of them is jim-jamming the cards, or frosting their dice, or some other rule-breaking crap. And what's…
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58 | Theatre II: Night of the Living Sasquatch
I say, my good chap, how about lovely spot of the old theatre? Sit in a box, watch strumpets with an eyeglass, have a good harrumph. What say you, chap-chap? Perhaps a little skippty-toot? Tumtpy-boodle? Tut-tut, now! (Mildly Alarming Theater makes a triumphant return this week, as does "Tom...
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57 | Mom! Kevin Won't Share His Delusion!
Depending on your point of view, your noble hosts either review a game called PushFight and a book called City of Sand, or they're lizards. Not, like, lizard people who secretly control the Vatican through the mole-person banks on the moon, but just regular lizards. You know, basking in the sun,...
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56 | High Art! And a Monkey!
Your hosts delve into the higher forms of culture today, starting out with a discussion of acting in games and how that impacts the design process. Then get out your berets and turtlenecks and get ready to snap your fingers, smoke clove cigarettes, and get hit on by a guy named Carnival Moon,...
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55 | Serious Men
Imagine your hosts, standing on a subway platform. Tom extends a hand to Johannes, who turns away. "No," he says. "You have written the bad story." Tom drops his hand. "But I thought it was the good story," he says. "And also we agree that board games are arts." Johannes turns away from the...
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54 | OUTER FREAKING SPACE
Ok, so, how this week's podcast works is that you have three actions points, and listening to any one ad or segment costs one point, so you can only listen to a few of them on your turn. One of the segments is about action points, the other is about liquor and weed, and the ads are for space men...
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53 | Architect vs. Architect: The Final Showdown
We discuss our dads on this most auspicious Father's Day, and then learn after the fact that it isn't Father's Day, it's not even close, what the hell you guys. So we move on to do a review of Blueprints, which we like, and discuss team-on-team games, which we have not really experienced but…
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52 | Facts Concerning the Late Arthur Jermyn and His Spaceship
An elephant visits the studio this week, but your glorious hosts ignore it to bring you only the finest in podcastery. First, we discuss the novel "The Light of the Fireflies" by Paul Pen in a new edition of Wrong About Books, and then we take our copies of Eclipse and Arkham Horror and smash…
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51 | Our Defective Brains
Things get psychological in the studio as the boys admit the ways in which their brains don't work, and discuss how they work around the problem. Since neither suggests cutting out the gin & tonics, it seems to be a lost cause, but they soldier on to have a chat about an article on playtesting by...
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50 | I Don't Even Know Anymore
We talk about the fine line between tabletop RPGs and board games and then, as if that wasn't enough excitement for one show, we discuss how different games track the large amount of data that players are required to remember. Plus a message from Jerry Doodio and a spot of news from the world's...
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49 | Winter Storm Kenneth
Steampunk space travel rules the day as we review Mission: Red Planet. Then we kvetch about winter, or, more accurately, how other people experience winter. Will you feel the icy blast of Jack Frost's breath on your neck as we podcast? Probably not, since that isn't how computers work. But you…
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48 | The Platonic Ideal of Pig Snacks
Our hosts square off in an arena and argue about the quality of "The Just City," a novel about Platonism and menstruation by Jo Walton. Then they talk about Take That! mechanics in board games, because this is a board game podcast by board game designers about board games, you clowns. Yeesh.…
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47 | Plague Sun Rising - Wrath of the Mummy-King
Well, it finally happened--the Mildly Alarming Podcast has sold out, and our new corporate overlords dictate our every word and move. Fortunately, said corporate overlords are the good people at NCBABPS-7, the channel that brings you Crime Mummy. Who's excited? This guy's excited, and that has...
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46 | The Chipisode 2: Electchip Beauvaisloo
Chip Beauvais stops by to tell us about his latest invention, which slices, dices, chops, shreds, gets stains out of carpets, and gives you a warm, sunny feeling inside, the kind that's been absent since that one person left your life. You know who we're talking about. The one who could banish…
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45 | Small, Thin Pancakes
Have you played Citadels? We have, and we're going to tell you about it. What about Time & Space? We've played it to, and will inflict our opinions of it upon you. Have YOU made a game called Two-Headed Ogre? We made a game called Two-Headed Ogre, and now we're going to tell you about THAT. We're...
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44 | In the Time of the Ogre
It's pandemonium as your hosts commit podcast by flowchart and talk about how ogres are kinda' chubby. Will segments about game length drag on entirely too long? Will Tom confess to accidentally shooting one of his college roommates? Will butt-chugging make a triumphant return? Most likely, but...
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43 | Doot Doot Doody Doody Doot Doot
Circuses! Nickleback! Airplanes crashing into turtles! Chaos ensues as the Mildly Alarming Podcast veers wildly between philosophy, lingusitics, medical-grade human crap, and subterfuge the goal of which is keeping away ladies of the evening, but whose actual result is merely a frightened dog.…
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42 | Of Beasts and Breakfast Cereal
After a brief vacation, the Mildly Alarming Boys come home to the studio rested, rejuvenated, and ready to say a bunch of dumb stuff. First, they take another swing at Hasbro (or maybe Parker Brothers) as they discuss what they might have done differently if they'd made Monopoly. Then it's on to…
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About this show
Two amateur board game designers; two microphones; two tall Gin & Tonics. We discuss games we like, games we hate, design ideas, and what it's like to live with a giant spider in a cabin in rural Wisconsin.
Hosted by
Johannes Stauffer; Tom Rich
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