The Morning Commute

Carpooling is just peer pressure with seatbelts. Intro: Boy With a Coin, Iron & Wine, Sub Pop Records (2007)Poem: Coda, Octavio PazMusic: Tightrope (feat. Big Boi) - Big Boi Vocal Edit, Janelle Monáe;Big Boi, Bad Boy/Wondaland (2010)

My GPS said 'turn around when possible.' I've been trying to do that since high school.Intro: Boy With a Coin, Iron & Wine, Sub Pop Records (2007)Poem: Instructions on Not Giving Up, Ada LimónMusic: Workin' For a Livin', Huey Lewis & The News, Chrysalis\EMI Records (USA) (1982)

I'm not too proud for day-old donuts.Intro: Bad Bad News, Leon Bridges, Columbia (2018)Poem: On Meditating, Sort Of, maryMusic: Good Man, The Grooveliner;Aina Cook;Ryan Stewart, The Grooveliner (2021)

If you can't stand the heat, get out of the left lane.Intro: Bad Bad News, Leon Bridges, Columbia (2018)Poem: From 'Sabbaths 2007', Wendell BerryMusic: Plant the Garden, Melt, Melt Records (2024)

The world would be a kinder place if we learned how to zipper-merge.Intro: Bad Bad News, Leon Bridges, Columbia (2018)Poem: This World, Czesław MiłoszMusic: Your Soul & Mine, BADBADNOTGOOD, XL Recordings (2024)

I remember when driverless cars meant using your knees.Intro: Bad Bad News, Leon Bridges, Columbia (2018)Poem: In the Morning, Before Anything Bad Happens, Molly BrodakMusic: Tender Defender, Vulfpeck;Theo Katzman, Vulf Records (2025)

// April 27, 2026That's emotional support rust.Intro: Bad Bad News, Leon Bridges, Columbia (2018)Poem: And Isn't Everything at Risk, Gregory OrrMusic: Comfortably Numb, Scissor Sisters, Polydor Records (2004)

These donuts aren't gonna eat themselves.Intro: Come on Eileen, Save Ferris, Epic (1997)Poem: Late Fragment, Raymond CarverMusic: Groove Is in the Heart, Deee-Lite, Elektra Records (1990)

Nothing says 'productivity' like people who won't take their right of way.Intro: Come on Eileen, Save Ferris, Epic (1997)Poem: Te Deum, Charles ReznikoffMusic: Grace Kelly, MIKA, Casablanca Records/Island UK (2007)

The merge lane is about momentum, not courtesy.Intro: Come on Eileen, Save Ferris, Epic (1997)Poem: The Committee Weighs In, Andrea CohenMusic: Rebirth Of Slick (Cool Like Dat), Digable Planets, Pendulum Records (1993)

Is this existential dread or just...Tuesday?Intro: Come on Eileen, Save Ferris, Epic (1997)Poem: In Memoriam, Leo DangelMusic: Ooh La La, Goldfrapp, Mute, a BMG Company (2005)

We're all just one poorly-timed intersection from being late.Intro: Come on Eileen, Save Ferris, Epic (1997)Poem: Cabbage, Charles SimicMusic: Hollywood Swinging, Kool & The Gang, Island Mercury (1973)

Get in, losers, we're getting donuts.Intro: About Damn Time, Lizzo, Nice Life/Atlantic (2022)Poem: From time to time, Matsuo BashoMusic: Ice Cream, New Young Pony Club, Universal Music Australia Pty. Ltd. (2007)

What's the deal with commuting, am I right?Intro: About Damn Time, Lizzo, Nice Life/Atlantic (2022)Poem: A Prayer for Future Us, Harriet SolinasMusic: Sun of a Gun, Oh Land, Epic (2011)

Day-old coffee is still coffee.Intro: About Damn Time, Lizzo, Nice Life/Atlantic (2022)Poem: My Mother Asks How I'm Doing with Just Whiskey and Cats, Joyce SullivanMusic: Chains of Love, Erasure, Rhino/Warner Records (1988)

The door's not child-locked, it just...won't open.Intro: About Damn Time, Lizzo, Nice Life/Atlantic (2022)Poem: Love comes quietly, Robert CreeleyMusic: Bear with Me, Propaganda;Marz Ferrer, Fair Trade/Columbia (2017)

Two wrongs don't make a right, but three lefts will take you past the QuikTrip.Intro: About Damn Time, Lizzo, Nice Life/Atlantic (2022)Poem: Watching the last boat, Linda GreggMusic: Bend & Break, Keane, UMC (Universal Music Catalogue) (2004)

Two dozen glazed and nobody to share them with. Just me and this exit ramp.Intro: Funky Times 1.0, Funky Times, K-Mountain Productions (2021)Poem: To Kiss a Forehead Is to Erase Worry, Marina TsvetaevaMusic: Rock Steady - Radio Edit, The Whispers, UNIDISC MUSIC INC. (1987)

Close your eyes. Now open them. That's the closest I get to ASMR while driving.Intro: Funky Times 1.0, Funky Times, K-Mountain Productions (2021)Poem: Those Winter Sundays, Robert HaydenMusic: Don't You Worry 'Bout A Thing, Incognito, UMC (Universal Music Catalogue) (1992)

Bitter gas station coffee pairs well with exhaust.Intro: Funky Times 1.0, Funky Times, K-Mountain Productions (2021)Poem: Road Warrior, Eileen MylesMusic: Don't Wait Too Long, Madeleine Peyroux, Rounder Records (2004)

No housework day. I also subscribe to no roadwork day.Intro: Funky Times 1.0, Funky Times, K-Mountain Productions (2021)Poem: Arrival, Michael LongleyMusic: Lady Day, Gil Scott-Heron

New week. Fresh start. Slightly stale Twinkie from the glove box.Intro: Funky Times 1.0, Funky Times, K-Mountain Productions (2021)Poem: In California, Margaret LevineMusic: Yellow Daze, Jafunk;Triple H Horns;Adi Oasis, Luckie Star Records (2024)

I took the chains off the donuts. Tires. I mean tires.Intro: Happy Idiot, TV On The Radio, Harvest Records (2014)vPoem: Maple, Jane HirshfieldMusic: Gypsy, Fleetwood Mac, Warner Records (1988)

If you don't fishtail at least once are you even commuting?Intro: Happy Idiot, TV On The Radio, Harvest Records (2014)Poem: To Be Alive, Gregory OrrMusic: Smoke and Mirrors, PJ Morton, Morton Records / EMPIRE (2024)

Birds sing; I croon.Intro: Happy Idiot, TV On The Radio, Harvest Records (2014)Poem: Mrs. Darwin, Carol Ann DuffyMusic: Tieduprightnow, Parcels, Because Music (2018)

I love when the traffic clears and everyone forgets how fast they were going.Intro: Discopolis, Discoholic, Discoholic (2024)Poem: April, Sandra LimMusic: Keep That Coffee Hot, Scatman Crothers, Universal Digital Enterprises (1956)

My GPS and I aren't on speaking terms.Intro: Discopolis, Discoholic, Discoholic (2024)Poem: Tired, Langston HughesMusic: That's Love, Oddisee, Mello Music Group (2015)

Is it zipper merge or button-fly merge?Intro: Discopolis, Discoholic, Discoholic (2024)Poem: From 'Vita Nova', Louise GlückMusic: How Much Do You Love Me?, Vulfmon;Jacob Jeffries, Vulf Records (2022)

We've been in this turn lane so long we're facing the wrong way.Intro: Discopolis, Discoholic, Discoholic (2024)Poem: We shake with joy, Mary OliverMusic: Can't Steal My Heaven, Caleb Hawley, Storage Unit Records (2023)

The light was yellow. I believe that with my heart.Intro: Discopolis, Discoholic, Discoholic (2024)Poem: Concurrence, Denise LevertovMusic: Bulletproof, La Roux, Polydor Records (2009)

C'mon, this box of donuts isn't gonna eat itself!Intro: Take Your Mama, Scissor Sisters, Polydor Records (2004)Poem: Love Is Not All, Edna St. Vincent MillayMusic: Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go, Wham!, Columbia (1984)

Some days you drive the commute, and some days the commute drives you.Intro: Take Your Mama, Scissor Sisters, Polydor Records (2004)Poem: I Am Panting, Anna SwirMusic: Tee Time, Vulfpeck, Vulf Records (2017)

This morning's traffic jam brought to you by A 4-Way Stop That Should Be a Roundabout!Intro: Take Your Mama, Scissor Sisters, Polydor Records (2004)Poem: You Ask Why I Make My Home in the Mountain Forest, Li PoMusic: Small Change, DON WEST, Mandatory Music (2024)

Had trouble scraping this morning. You can be my right eye!Intro: Take Your Mama, Scissor Sisters, Polydor Records (2004)Poem: Yes, That's When, Rosemerry Wahtola TrommerMusic: Survivor, Destiny's Child, Columbia (2001)

Don't let the snow worry you. I learned how to drive in Iowa.Intro: Take Your Mama, Scissor Sisters, Polydor Records (2004)Poem: As if from the End Times, John BurnsideMusic: Believe, Cher, Warner Records (1998)

Birds! I hear birds this morning!Intro: Run-Around, Blues Traveler, A&M (1994)Poem: The Jewel, James WrightMusic: Hey Mr. D.J., Zhané, Motown (1994)

You know, I spilled a yogurt smoothie in here two days ago. Can't smell anything, can you?Intro: Run-Around, Blues Traveler, A&M (1994)Poem: Rites of Passage, Audre LordeMusic: Alberto Balsalm, Will Van Horn, Crystal Beach (2018)

Sometimes it's nice to drive in companionable silence.Intro: Run-Around, Blues Traveler, A&M (1994)Poem: Ode to Friendship, Noor HindiMusic: To Be, Shubh Saran, Shubh Saran (2024)

Get in, losers, we're going commuting!Intro: Run-Around, Blues Traveler, A&M (1994)Poem: It Is March, Victoria ChangMusic: Salvation, The Cranberries, Island Records (1996)

Mondays are always better together. With coffee.Intro: Run-Around, Blues Traveler, A&M (1994)Poem: A Poem Is a Place, Isabelle CorreaMusic: Everything, Gotts Street Park;Rosie Lowe, Blue Flowers Music (2020)

These floormats have really retained their value.Intro: Happy Up Here, Röyksopp (2009)Poem: Fulcrum, JS GilbertMusic: Mystery, Allen Stone & PJ Morton (2024)

Drive like no one's watching.Intro: Happy Up Here, Röyksopp (2009)Poem: Conspicuously Reading Nikki Giovanni in a Coffee Shop, JS GilbertMusic: Daft Punk Is Playing at My House, LCD Soundsystem (2005)

If I wanted directions I'd unmute Google.Intro: Happy Up Here, Röyksopp (2009)Poem: Stalker, JS GilbertMusic: If You Want Me to Stay, S.L.Y. and the Family Stone (1970)

There are emergency donuts in the trunk.Intro: Happy Up Here, Röyksopp (2009)Poem: But What Do You Bring to the Table, JS GilbertMusic: How Long Do I Have to Wait for You?, Sharon Jones & the Dap Kings (2005)

It's not empty: it's 'E' for 'ehh just a little further'.Intro: Happy Up Here, Röyksopp (2009)Poem: She Forgot the Grits, JS GilbertSong: This Must Be the Place (Naive Melody), Talking Heads, 1983

Hey, that's my Aldi quarter!Intro: Lose Yourself to Dance (feat. Pharrell Williams), Daft Punk (2013)Dream Deferred, Langston HughesGolden, Jill Scott (2004)