The Morning Commute

You either had a rough weekend or you hit the snooze bar once too often this morning.Intro: A Matter of Time, Dr Rubberfunk;Izo FitzRoy, Jalapeno Records (2020)Poem: Matins, Louise GlückMusic: Adventure of a Lifetime, Coldplay, Parlophone UK (2015)

This meeting could've been a donut.Intro: 9 to 5, Dolly Parton, RCA Records Label (1980)Poem: God Is Drepressed, Ana BožičevićMusic: FREEDOM, Jon Batiste, Verve (2021)

Whoever said the car is America's living room probably needs to vacuum.Intro: 9 to 5, Dolly Parton, RCA Records Label (1980)Poem: You Reading This, Be Ready, William StaffordMusic: Don't Leave Me This Way, Thelma Houston, Crisler Music (2012)

Wednesday is the purgatory of commuting.Intro: 9 to 5, Dolly Parton, RCA Records Label (1980)Poem: The Prescence in Absence, Linda GreggMusic: Electric Energy, Ariana DeBose;Boy George;Nile Rodgers, Platoon (2024)

If the commute is 'me time', why are we talking?Intro: 9 to 5, Dolly Parton, RCA Records Label (1980)Poem: "I NEVER SAW A WILD THING SORRY FOR ITSELF" - D.H. Lawrence, L.E. BowmanMusic: Golden Years - 2002 Remaster, David Bowie, Parlophone UK (2002)

The AUX is a privilege, not a right.Intro: 9 to 5, Dolly Parton, RCA Records Label (1980)Poem: The Triumph of Achilles, Louise GlückMusic: Heavy Cross, Gossip, Columbia (2009)

Even free donuts come with a cost.Intro: Back Pocket, Vulfpeck, Vulf Records (2015)Poem: Lies I've Told My 3 Year Old Recently, Raul GutierrezMusic: Friday I'm in Love, The Cure, Elektra Records (1992)

Thursday is Wednesday's Friday.Intro: Back Pocket, Vulfpeck, Vulf Records (2015)Poem: In Passing, Lisa MuellerMusic: Golden, Jill Scott, Hidden Beach Records (2004)

My windshield wipers are largely metaphorical.Intro: Back Pocket, Vulfpeck, Vulf Records (2015)Poem: Gift of the Book, C.D. WrightMusic: La Camisa Negra, Juanes, National Own (UC) (2004)

Cubicle walls may be delusional, but they're our delusion.Intro: Back Pocket, Vulfpeck, Vulf Records (2015)Poem: Hummingbird, Raymond CarverMusic: Jungle Boogie, Kool & The Gang, Island Mercury (1973)

The carpool lane giveth, and the carpool lane taketh away.Intro: Back Pocket, Vulfpeck, Vulf Records (2015)Poem: The World Crumbles, L.E. BowmanMusic: Fighting for Peace, Cory Henry, Henry House Entertainment/Culture Collective (2022)

Absence makes the heart grow fonder...of commuting?

You don't open a dozen donuts without a plan.Intro: Boogie Wonderland (with The Emotions), Earth, Wind & Fire;The Emotions, Columbia/Legacy (1979)Poem: Calling on All Silent Minorities, June JordanMusic: BET ON ME, ITZY, Republic Records - ITZY (2023)

In a remote working world, any windshield flyer can become interoffice mail.Intro: Boogie Wonderland (with The Emotions), Earth, Wind & Fire;The Emotions, Columbia/Legacy (1979)Poem: The Ideal, James FentonMusic: Love Letter To Japan, the bird and the bee, Blue Note Records (2008)

One man's shortcut is another's backseat driving.Intro: Boogie Wonderland (with The Emotions), Earth, Wind & Fire;The Emotions, Columbia/Legacy (1979)Poem: Encounter, Czeslaw MiloszMusic: Under Pressure, Queen;David Bowie, Hollywood Records (2018)

I took a different route today. I don't want to talk about it.Intro: Boogie Wonderland (with The Emotions), Earth, Wind & Fire;The Emotions, Columbia/Legacy (1979)Poem: In This World, Izumi ShikibuMusic: Higher (Escalators), Bakermat;Nic Hanson, Big Top Amsterdam (2023)

A traffic jam is basically bulk carpooling.Intro: Boogie Wonderland (with The Emotions), Earth, Wind & Fire;The Emotions, Columbia/Legacy (1979)Poem: Evil, Langston HughesMusic: Symmetry, Little Boots, Elektra (NEK) (2008)

The last thing I remember is a sign that read, 'Hot Fresh Donuts.'Intro: Alright, Supergrass, Echo (1995)Poem: The Mower, Philip LarkinMusic: Star Scat, Caravan Palace, Wagram Music (2008)

Sometimes it's okay to not talk.Intro: Alright, Supergrass, Echo (1995)Poem: Late Summer, Carrie FountainMusic: Hook, Blues Traveler, A&M (1994)

I don't care what speed you go, as long as you're not in my way.Intro: Alright, Supergrass, Echo (1995)Poem: November 18, Ted KooserMusic: Worthy, Mavis Staples, Anti/Epitaph (2024)

This interchange does a great impression of a parking garage.Intro: Alright, Supergrass, Echo (1995)Poem: I Was Dressed by the Wind, Leonard CohenMusic: Dreams, The Cranberries, Analog Spark (1996)

Driving three blocks with the turn signal on is the same as not using it.Intro: Alright, Supergrass, Echo (1995)Poem: Prayer, Ellen BassMusic: Tired Of Love, Penelope Road, Warner Records (2024)

These donuts aren't going to eat themselves, and frankly I'm tired of carrying them.Intro: Boy With a Coin, Iron & Wine, Sub Pop Records (2007)Poem: Lost, David WagonerMusic: Like Sugar, Chaka Khan, Universal-Island Records Ltd. (2019)

You don't need to signal. We can all see where this is going.Intro: Boy With a Coin, Iron & Wine, Sub Pop Records (2007)Poem: local man ruins everything, Adrienne NovyMusic: Canned Heat, Jamiroquai, Sony Music CG (1999)

The merge lane is about momentum, not courtesy.Intro: Boy With a Coin, Iron & Wine, Sub Pop Records (2007)Poem: Artemis II, Leslie J. AndersonMusic: California Soul, Marlena Shaw, GRP (1969)

Carpooling is just peer pressure with seatbelts. Intro: Boy With a Coin, Iron & Wine, Sub Pop Records (2007)Poem: Coda, Octavio PazMusic: Tightrope (feat. Big Boi) - Big Boi Vocal Edit, Janelle Monáe;Big Boi, Bad Boy/Wondaland (2010)

My GPS said 'turn around when possible.' I've been trying to do that since high school.Intro: Boy With a Coin, Iron & Wine, Sub Pop Records (2007)Poem: Instructions on Not Giving Up, Ada LimónMusic: Workin' For a Livin', Huey Lewis & The News, Chrysalis\EMI Records (USA) (1982)

I'm not too proud for day-old donuts.Intro: Bad Bad News, Leon Bridges, Columbia (2018)Poem: On Meditating, Sort Of, maryMusic: Good Man, The Grooveliner;Aina Cook;Ryan Stewart, The Grooveliner (2021)

If you can't stand the heat, get out of the left lane.Intro: Bad Bad News, Leon Bridges, Columbia (2018)Poem: From 'Sabbaths 2007', Wendell BerryMusic: Plant the Garden, Melt, Melt Records (2024)

The world would be a kinder place if we learned how to zipper-merge.Intro: Bad Bad News, Leon Bridges, Columbia (2018)Poem: This World, Czesław MiłoszMusic: Your Soul & Mine, BADBADNOTGOOD, XL Recordings (2024)

I remember when driverless cars meant using your knees.Intro: Bad Bad News, Leon Bridges, Columbia (2018)Poem: In the Morning, Before Anything Bad Happens, Molly BrodakMusic: Tender Defender, Vulfpeck;Theo Katzman, Vulf Records (2025)

// April 27, 2026That's emotional support rust.Intro: Bad Bad News, Leon Bridges, Columbia (2018)Poem: And Isn't Everything at Risk, Gregory OrrMusic: Comfortably Numb, Scissor Sisters, Polydor Records (2004)

These donuts aren't gonna eat themselves.Intro: Come on Eileen, Save Ferris, Epic (1997)Poem: Late Fragment, Raymond CarverMusic: Groove Is in the Heart, Deee-Lite, Elektra Records (1990)

Nothing says 'productivity' like people who won't take their right of way.Intro: Come on Eileen, Save Ferris, Epic (1997)Poem: Te Deum, Charles ReznikoffMusic: Grace Kelly, MIKA, Casablanca Records/Island UK (2007)

The merge lane is about momentum, not courtesy.Intro: Come on Eileen, Save Ferris, Epic (1997)Poem: The Committee Weighs In, Andrea CohenMusic: Rebirth Of Slick (Cool Like Dat), Digable Planets, Pendulum Records (1993)

Is this existential dread or just...Tuesday?Intro: Come on Eileen, Save Ferris, Epic (1997)Poem: In Memoriam, Leo DangelMusic: Ooh La La, Goldfrapp, Mute, a BMG Company (2005)

We're all just one poorly-timed intersection from being late.Intro: Come on Eileen, Save Ferris, Epic (1997)Poem: Cabbage, Charles SimicMusic: Hollywood Swinging, Kool & The Gang, Island Mercury (1973)

Get in, losers, we're getting donuts.Intro: About Damn Time, Lizzo, Nice Life/Atlantic (2022)Poem: From time to time, Matsuo BashoMusic: Ice Cream, New Young Pony Club, Universal Music Australia Pty. Ltd. (2007)

What's the deal with commuting, am I right?Intro: About Damn Time, Lizzo, Nice Life/Atlantic (2022)Poem: A Prayer for Future Us, Harriet SolinasMusic: Sun of a Gun, Oh Land, Epic (2011)

Day-old coffee is still coffee.Intro: About Damn Time, Lizzo, Nice Life/Atlantic (2022)Poem: My Mother Asks How I'm Doing with Just Whiskey and Cats, Joyce SullivanMusic: Chains of Love, Erasure, Rhino/Warner Records (1988)

The door's not child-locked, it just...won't open.Intro: About Damn Time, Lizzo, Nice Life/Atlantic (2022)Poem: Love comes quietly, Robert CreeleyMusic: Bear with Me, Propaganda;Marz Ferrer, Fair Trade/Columbia (2017)

Two wrongs don't make a right, but three lefts will take you past the QuikTrip.Intro: About Damn Time, Lizzo, Nice Life/Atlantic (2022)Poem: Watching the last boat, Linda GreggMusic: Bend & Break, Keane, UMC (Universal Music Catalogue) (2004)

Two dozen glazed and nobody to share them with. Just me and this exit ramp.Intro: Funky Times 1.0, Funky Times, K-Mountain Productions (2021)Poem: To Kiss a Forehead Is to Erase Worry, Marina TsvetaevaMusic: Rock Steady - Radio Edit, The Whispers, UNIDISC MUSIC INC. (1987)

Close your eyes. Now open them. That's the closest I get to ASMR while driving.Intro: Funky Times 1.0, Funky Times, K-Mountain Productions (2021)Poem: Those Winter Sundays, Robert HaydenMusic: Don't You Worry 'Bout A Thing, Incognito, UMC (Universal Music Catalogue) (1992)

Bitter gas station coffee pairs well with exhaust.Intro: Funky Times 1.0, Funky Times, K-Mountain Productions (2021)Poem: Road Warrior, Eileen MylesMusic: Don't Wait Too Long, Madeleine Peyroux, Rounder Records (2004)

No housework day. I also subscribe to no roadwork day.Intro: Funky Times 1.0, Funky Times, K-Mountain Productions (2021)Poem: Arrival, Michael LongleyMusic: Lady Day, Gil Scott-Heron

New week. Fresh start. Slightly stale Twinkie from the glove box.Intro: Funky Times 1.0, Funky Times, K-Mountain Productions (2021)Poem: In California, Margaret LevineMusic: Yellow Daze, Jafunk;Triple H Horns;Adi Oasis, Luckie Star Records (2024)

I took the chains off the donuts. Tires. I mean tires.Intro: Happy Idiot, TV On The Radio, Harvest Records (2014)vPoem: Maple, Jane HirshfieldMusic: Gypsy, Fleetwood Mac, Warner Records (1988)

If you don't fishtail at least once are you even commuting?Intro: Happy Idiot, TV On The Radio, Harvest Records (2014)Poem: To Be Alive, Gregory OrrMusic: Smoke and Mirrors, PJ Morton, Morton Records / EMPIRE (2024)

Birds sing; I croon.Intro: Happy Idiot, TV On The Radio, Harvest Records (2014)Poem: Mrs. Darwin, Carol Ann DuffyMusic: Tieduprightnow, Parcels, Because Music (2018)