The Normal Mess

It's Thursday, and Ashley wants to know whatever happened to pants (pants). That was a Chicago (the musical) reference, people. But seriously: why are pants such strange shapes and lengths these days?! Fear not! Cayce has the pep talk we all need: even National Parks get 1-star reviews. And, who knew "birds" was a humor category we needed? Memes are for the birds, friends, and we mean that with all the love and respect of future birdwatchers. Then, we're talking nostalgia. More specifically, we're talking about why some brains (ahem, ours) are more wired for it, how it shows up in motherhood, and how we can see the moments we're in more clearly when we're in them. What are our earliest memories, and what are we nostalgic for (other than jeans that made sense)? There are some lessons we can take from The Office, and Ashley cries. Good news/bad news here, Messy Besties: nothing lasts forever. Finally, in a nod to the nostalgia some people (ahem, not us) feel for high school, we're sharing what our superlatives would be today!It's real and it's funny, and sometimes it's real funny. But also, it's no joke! Rate, review, comment, and follow along as we bring The Normal Mess to the masses! We'd love to hear from you:Instagram & TikTok: @thenormalmessEmail: [email protected]

Cayce is leveling up in motherhood, Ashley has a breakup announcement, and we are FEISTY today! You can be very certain that AI was not used in the creation of this episode or any other, but: what is the multiple of "platypus"? We promise this is not turning into an article-reaction podcast, but we have another article this week, and please buckle up. We're responding to the viral Fast Company article, "Corporate America is Crushing Senior-Level Mothers," which is pretty much a direct slap in the face to last week's hopeful Wall Street Journal piece. Is the solution truly to burn it all down, or did we just girl boss too close to the sun? Cayce has a PSA regarding meal prepping, Ashley is back to being sweary, and spoiler alert: we do say the word "nipple" in this episode. You've been warned! But, there is a light at the end of the tunnel, and we have a new shero: Shamim Noorani Gillani, SVP of growth and client success at Carrum Health. Shamim, we don't know you, but we are claiming you as a Messy Bestie. Then, we play a little game of "this or that," and can we all collectively agree that toilet paper goes over, not under?! (That one is for you, Ashley's mom. You are so perfect in so many ways, but you seriously need to get your toilet paper in order.)It's real and it's funny, and sometimes it's real funny. But also, it's no joke! Rate, review, comment, and follow along as we bring The Normal Mess to the masses! We'd love to hear from you:Instagram & TikTok: @thenormalmessEmail: [email protected]

Cayce has a PSA to whomever is putting dance moms through the ringer: IT'S HARD ENOUGH OUT HERE. WHY ARE WE PUTTING MASCARA ON THREE-YEAR-OLDS?! Then: who would play Ashley and Cayce in a movie, and can we discuss how celebrity faces are basically model homes these days?Hold onto your hats, Messy Besties: for the first time in TNM history, Ashley is completely and utterly unprepared for this episode! And, weirdly, we planned it that way? Cayce is taking us all on a guided tour through the viral Wall Street Journal article, "Surprising Lessons from Talking with America's Highest- Earning Women," and we have THOUGHTS. Ashley gets the chills, this article is validating, and why can't we all just get along (with our impostor syndrome)?!Finally, we have new Zero Friends. And, unsurprisingly, these Zero Friends all have to do with travel. Poll question: are hotel rooms close to the elevator bank more dangerous, or are they actually safer because criminals don't like witnesses?! Also, shoutout to the Starbucks at Gate B32: you're the real MVP.It's real, and it's funny, and sometimes it's real funny. But also, it's real funny! Rate, review, comment, and follow along as we bring The Normal Mess to the masses! We'd love to hear from you:Instagram & TikTok: @thenormalmessEmail: [email protected]

**Warning: This episode contains brief references to intimate partner emotional violence. Those references are toward the end of the episode. If you or someone you love is experiencing intimate partner violence (emotional, physical, or both), there are resources available to help. The National Domestic Violence Hotline is available 24/7 at: 1.800.799.SAFE (7233), or can be reached by texting “START” to 88788.** Ashley and Cayce are both notoriously slow to a trend, except for Ashley when it comes to music, who wants the record to permanently reflect that Spotify told her last year her listening age is 21. We love Ted Lasso (though it is Cayce’s fault it took Ashley this long to get on board), Jane Austen is forever in style, and where do you stand on the orange juice to champagne ratio in a mimosa?! Hint: soccer is to orange as lovable characters is to champagne. Then, we get spicy about a topic that is, as we have learned, controversial: we think you should bring the whole of who you are to work (within reason, and with clothes on, please). There, we said it! Don’t “at” us, journalists who keep insisting we are wrong. Nothing ever changes if nothing ever changes, and we think your whole self deserves a seat at the table. Ashley rants about “executive presence,” Cayce delivers actionable tips, and we talk about paper dolls.  We end with The Normal Mess IRL, plus a glimmer. Ashley is annoyed by the humans whose first day of earth alwaysseems to happen in airports, and Cayce’s dog needs to cool it on the fertilizer. But: God bless girlfriends and flowers, amiright?!  It’s real and it’s funny, and sometimes it’s real funny. But also, it’s no joke! Rate, review, comment, and follow us as we bring The Normal Mess to the masses! We’d love to hear from you: Instagram & TikTok:@thenormalmess Email: [email protected]

Cayce has a revelation about her many beverages, and we formally petition to bring back the single-girl-20s multi-hour brunch! Then, Ashley has to talk about her dreams. Why are there so many animals, what does it mean to dream about monkeys, and why is she slapping her husband in the face at 3 am? The monkey dreams were an easter egg, apparently, because this episode is all about...PLAY.We talk about it endlessly for our kids, but not for ourselves. And we think that is a mistake. How do adults play, and why is it so important that we do? Ashley has research and a funtivity (MAJOR shoutout to the National Institute for Play on this one), Cayce shares brilliant insight from the always-incredible Brené Brown, and you are welcome for the free tour inside an ADHD brain. We close it out with a round of Flamingo Cards, and let's just say this: Cayce's candle smells MUCH better than Ashley's. It's real and it's funny, and sometimes it's real funny. But also, it's no joke! Rate, review, comment, and follow us as we bring The Normal Mess to the masses! We'd love to hear from you:Instagram & TikTok: @thenormalmessEmail: [email protected]

The Normal Mess is back for Season Two, and we have THOUGHTS. Specifically, we have thoughts about the ridiculous number of places we have both been since we were last on a mic together. We also have cute mugs, new hobbies, and podcast-changing announcements.Spoiler alert: The Normal Mess is now a WEEKLY PODCAST. Are we podcasting every week until we die? Only time will tell, Messy Besties. Only time will tell.This week, we are tackling a topic we circled in Season One but have not addressed head on until now: Tall Poppy Syndrome. Who is King Tarquin the Proud, and why are we still chopping down the tallest poppies in the field, centuries later? Girl on girl crime is still rampant, but we think (in a completely unbiased way, obviously) Millennials might just be the ones to save the world.Tarquin and mean girls be damned, we prefer a garden with a slew of Tall Poppies, and we have the solution: HYPEWOMEN.Cayce blesses us with Buddhist wisdom, Ashley gets feisty about body image, and our kids provide an occasional soundtrack to remind listeners that this is, in fact, still The Normal Mess.We conclude with a new game we invented: Who is your inner celebrity weirdo? Cayce has a freak flag, and Ashley needs to remain clothed while playing bongos.It's real and it's funny, and sometimes it's real funny. But also, it's no joke! Rate, review, comment, and follow us as we bring The Normal Mess to the masses! We'd love to hear from you:Instagram & TikTok: @thenormalmessEmail: [email protected]

Surprise! Despite our best efforts to take an actual break during this season break, we couldn't stay away from you, Messy Besties! So... we headed to New York and recorded our FIRST EVER LIVE EPISODE, WITH AN AUDIENCE, and it also happened to be our first podcast mashup. In this episode, we shamelessly ride the coattails of InsHER, one of the coolest podcasts that you can listen to now. I mean, wait until you listen to this episode, then go listen to it. That's right: we sat down with THE Megan Bell, host of the InsHER Podcast (go follow and subscribe!), to discuss a topic that is as near and dear to our hearts as it is fitting: grabbing the mic. What does it mean to "grab the mic"? Does it mean you're taking it from someone else? How do you grab the mic if your voice is shaking? And... what is the Dunning Kruger effect?! Unsurprisingly, Ashley Googles. Surprisingly, we have a sponsor! We talk about leadership, confidence, pasta, and... Kate Winslet?!In short, we grab the mic. Thank you to our 100+ live audience members, our sponsors, and of course... our friend and fellow hype woman, Megan Bell. She's the host of the InsHER Podcast, in case we didn't mention that. :)See you on May 7 for the start of Season 2!

It's the Season One Finale of The Normal Mess, and Ashley and Cayce saved the best for last. And by that we mean: we talked to an actual, human, real-life neuroscientist (instead of Google!) about all our messiest questions from the past nine episodes! That's right: joining the pod for our first interview and the final episode of the season is... DR. EMILY CROSS! Cognitive neuroscientist, mom of two, all-around brilliant human, and self-proclaimed MESSY BESTIE (oh, did we not mention we finally have a name for you beautiful listeners?!), Dr. Cross is here to dole out neuroscience wisdom, a series of much-needed permission slips, and a swear word or two (we knew we loved her).We talk busy traps, FOPO, full chalance, and more, and we confirm our suspicions that moms do, in fact, have an evolutionary edge. (We're basically the equivalent of the first human to walk on two feet. You heard it here first.) Then, Ashley and Cayce reflect on the experience of bringing The Normal Mess to life, and we talk about what comes next. Hint: Netflix renewed us for a Season Two. JK. Netflix doesn't know we exist. But we are coming back! Follow our socials to keep up with us on our short break, and stay tuned for our Season Two Premiere!And in the mean time, go hug your girlfriends. And consider yourselves hugged by us. We appreciate and love you, Messy Besties! See you soon!It's real and it's funny, and sometimes it's real funny. But also, it's no joke! Rate, review, comment, and follow us as we bring The Normal mess to the masses! We'd love to hear from you:Instagram & TikTok:@[email protected]

Cayce has a groundbreaking, life-changing announcement, and she agonized over it for a YEAR. As the resident Leslie Knope on our show, that makes Ashley's brain fall out. Are you an agonizer or a gut-decider?! Ashley and Cayce love each other deeply, but we could not relate LESS to each other when it comes to decision-making. Speaking of which, can you please help us decide what TNM listeners are called?! No matter what we are, we're messy, and we wouldn't have it any other way. ...but, would other people?! We are dissecting our experience with OPOs: other people's opinions. Do you have FOPO, and are women more likely to consider other people's opinions than men? And, why do we give fewer Fs as we age?! We have a message for our inner voices, and for yours. If you've ever felt judged, this one's for you! We laugh a lot, cry a little, and then we debate who would survive a Zombie apocalypse. Spoiler alert: Cayce thinks Ashley has hollow bones.It's real and it's funny, and sometimes, it's real funny. But also, it's no joke! Rate, review, comment, and follow us as we bring The Normal Mess to the masses! We'd love to hear from you:Instagram & TikTok: @[email protected]

Settle in, you poetic and noble land mermaids, it’s Galentine’s Day! Ashley and Cayce toast to the magic of gal pals, and you are cordially invited to join us for a day of ladies celebrating ladies, plus breakfast foods. Who’s the Ann and who’s the Leslie, and will we ever stop talking about Amy Poehler?!Then, come with us on a brilliant and hilarious journey wherein we imagine what the world would look like if “power moves” were not so… gross. Ashley found an article that truly sucks, and we have a laundry list of new power moves we’re busting out. Forget the nunchucks and swole muscles, Cayce’s going to pull a real power move in her next high-stakes meeting: she’s going to cry.Finally, Ashley’s daughter provides our final segment: Zero Friends. Why do people insist on taking their phone calls in public restrooms, and if anyone knows Cayce’s Amazon delivery driver, can you tell them to please stop chucking her packages on the grass and leaving them there to get rained on?! We laugh so hard we cry in this one, and that honestly might be the power move we needed all along. It’s real and it’s funny, and sometimes, it’s real funny. But also, it’s no joke! Rate, review, comment, and follow us as we bring The Normal Mess to the masses! We’d love to hear from you: Instagram & TikTok: @[email protected]

Ashley and Cayce are Poehleroids, and we send our congrats to our BFF-who-doesn't-know-she's-our-BFF, Amy, on her Golden Globe win. Speaking of which, what's our official listener nickname? Someone please tell us: if we were getting married, what's our hashtag? Next, we're really on TikTok, guys. We consulted some youths, but we still have some questions. Is it a reel? Are there DMs? Unclear. But we are doing a TikTok Challenge for February, and you are cordially invited to do it, too. It does not involve ice, water, or anything dangerous, and it WILL result in us immediately liking and resharing your post. Cayce is well-hydrated, we love to laugh, and what does Instagram have to do with penguins?! As we dissect the power of laughter, we self-analyze our senses of humor, we talk bumper stickers, and Ashley urges everyone to turnip the beet. We close it out with a rapid-fire round of "Unfortunately I Do Love." Spoiler alert: none of these things are unfortunate. So, tell us: are we Full Chalancers? Are we Normal Messians? Are we Mess Makers?! Oh, and if you have any knock-knock jokes to add to a 4-year-old's repertoire, please tell us. We can't handle any more "bananas."It's real and it's funny, and sometimes it's real funny. But also, it's no joke! Rate, review, comment, and follow us as we bring The Normal Mess to the masses! We'd love to hear from you:Instagram & TikTok: @thenormalmess  [email protected]

Ashley and Cayce are mind mouthing. Mind melding? Whatever, our brains are talking to each other. And they're trash talking opponents on game night. Speaking of games, Ashley loves them, Hasbro might want to sponsor us after this, and we have a new rallying cry for Normal Messians (Full Chalancers? Messers? TBD.) everywhere: IT'S SALAD TIME. Then, we talk about balls. The glass and rubber kind, what were you thinking?! We need not carry it all, and we were never meant to. What's rubber, what's glass, and is it cement or CEment? We're taking inventory and dropping balls every which way. And honestly? No regrets. Finally, we wrap with a round of Flamingo Cards, and it's pretty clear who should never go on Survivor.Oh, and we forgot to mention that we consulted some youths and decided to join the Tok after all. Please tell us if we're too old to be doing this, and add us (is that what one does on TikTok?): @thenormalmessIt's real and it's funny, and sometimes it's real funny. But also, it's no joke! Like, rate, review, and follow us as we bring The Normal Mess to the masses! We'd love to hear from you:Instagram & TikTok: @[email protected]

It's the first day of 2026, and it's our VERY FIRST VIDEO EPISODE! Will our faces help or hurt our subscriber count? Only time (and your ability to follow Ashley's fiery instructions) will tell!It's 2026, and we are coming in HOT. The reason for the explicit rating becomes abundantly clear right off the bat, and Cayce has a follow-up question for Ashley. How do you say "thank you" to a toddler who is screaming about red cups? Hint: we don't just embrace the full chalance. We embrace the full a**holery. Then, we are fully in the "dislike" camp when it comes to New Year's Resolutions, until a certain Pentagon-advising, TIME-magazine-writing neuroscientist converts us. Do you have a Word of the Year? And, perhaps more importantly, do you have tips to help us keep our resolution (ugh) to be healthy in 2026? Do we just need to bathe in hand sanitizer?!Finally, Ashley's cooking and Cayce's anticipating miracles. 2026, we're here for you! Now, go share this episode with your 1,000 friends and amplify the sh*t out of us! Thanks, love you, bye!

Ashley and Cayce are feeling festive! We talk holiday traditions, and we are weirdly in synch when it comes to... tree skirts?! Then, we dive into one of Ashley's favorite rabbit holes: OPTIMISM. Where does it come from? Is it a tree? How do you cultivate it? And, what does it possibly have to do with the California Bar Exam?! We were optimistic to think we'd get through all our big feelings on this topic in a single episode. Stay tuned for part 2! In the meantime, we have our top seven (or eight, because Cayce is not a rule follower when it comes to favorites) holiday movies. The Normal Mess is not affiliated with Nicholas Cage or Sandra Bullock, but you wouldn't know it from this episode. It's... episode four of The Normal Mess! Come for the optimism, stay for the movie recs. Oh, and see you next year!Rabbit Hole Research brought to you by:Professor Michael Milona, Philosophy, Ryerson UniversityApplied Positive Psychology, "Exploring the Different Types of Optimism," available at Psychology.TownIt's real and it's funny, and sometimes it's real funny. But also, it's no joke! Subscribe, rate, and follow us as we bring The Normal Mess to the masses! We'd love to hear from you:Instagram @[email protected]

Grab your sauv blanc and settle in: we are back with more of The Normal Mess! Ashley and Cayce are watching good shows, and for once, Ashley’s is still on the air! Brenè Brown is a genius and Amy Poehler is a goddess. Cayce knows a thing or two about green grass, and adult friendships can be HARD. Are you a big circle person or a deep circle person? Cayce can’t do bluegrass music, Ashley wishes she liked olives, and (unsurprisingly), we discuss cheese.It’s real and it’s funny, and sometimes it’s real funny. But also, it’s no joke! Subscribe, rate, and follow us as we bring The Normal Mess to the masses! We’d love to hear from you:Instagram: @[email protected]

Ashley and Cayce play a game from our next (future) sponsor, and Ashley apparently relates to many birds. Then, we discuss why nonchalance equates to "cool" and why fangirling is so much more fun. ChatGPT offers its two cents, and Cayce's grandmother continues to bless us with a life motto we should all embrace. Ashley debuts her "serious photographer ex-boyfriend voice," we talk Grit, Cayce teaches us about tuberettes, and our gifts to each other are the gifts that keep on giving. In short: we chalance the sh*t out of it.It's real and it's funny, and sometimes it's real funny. But also, it's no joke! Subscribe, rate, and follow us as we bring The Normal Mess to the masses! We'd love to hear from you:Instagram @[email protected]

It's the first episode of The Normal Mess! We're Ashley and Cayce, and Ashley would like to formally thank Taylor Swift for convincing Cayce to finally make this podcast. In our inaugural episode, we break down what we not-so-affectionately call "the busy trap." Being occupied does not = fulfilled, so why are we so obsessed with it? Ron Swanson continues to provide life advice, Pimp My Ride and Zelda Fitzgerald both make appearances, and we do not need to learn any more about oboes. Sorry, woodwinds!It's real and its funny, and sometimes it's real funny. But also, it's no joke! Subscribe, rate, and follow us as we bring The Normal Mess to the masses! We'd love to hear from you:Instagram @[email protected]