PODCAST · kids
The Parenting Presence
by Julia Pappas, Psychologist & Parent Coach
The "parenting presence" is the inner strength and gentle wisdom available to any parent who is willing to spend time to get to know themselves. Parents who learn how their own emotional regulation works, how their needs are met, and how actions are guided by thoughts and interpretations — also discover an amazing source of influence and guidance available to them in parenting. Why? Because when parents know the rhythms of their own inner workings, they are also able to discover what makes their child tick.We have many questions when it comes to parenting and just about everywhere we turn – someone’s got the answer! But how do you tease out what really matters? The PARENTING PRESENCE framework is your guide to parenting essentials and it consists of THREE CORE ELEMENTS. It is based on simple principles of child development and incorporates deep personal values everyone holds as a parent. This is a podcast about the most essential parenting skills we need in order to raise children w
Episodes
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073: Empty Parking Lots & The Negative Space, Attempting to See the Unseen
This episode is for those who find themselves in an inner space of awkward loss and silence, for those who feel grief and overwhelm from the events of the world. Here we reflect on the Middle East crisis, by stepping outside the politics and into the quiet solitude of a grieving heart. What do…
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072: Why Overcomplicating Emotions Harms Us and What To Do Instead
Imagine if we needed to know everything about our lungs in order to take a breath. It would be impossible to live. And yet, something similar is happening with emotions. We no longer trust our basic intuitions about what we feel, because of so much noise in the mainstream narrative about the...
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071: How to Have Respectful Interactions With Children, 30 Easy Ideas
Strong relationships depend on respectful interactions. As we discussed in the previous episode, one of the things that will make the transition into the school year more smooth is to maintain a strong relationship with our children. But you may wonder, what does it look like? Afterall…
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070: Unconventional Back-to-School Parenting Advice
The transition from summer vacation to the school year is typically centered around preparing children for the changes ahead. However, an often overlooked aspect is the well-being of parents during this shift. In this episode, we explore five unconventional pieces of advice that focus on parents'...
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069: Your Child's Unmet Needs, Hidden Opportunities, and Dealing with Discomfort
Our children rely on us for everything. Meeting our children's needs is our responsibility. This seems like an accurate statement. But upon close inspection, it is only partially correct. Let's see why… The younger children are, the more they rely on us. The older they are, however, the less they...
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068: Don't Blame The Brain For Your Thoughts & Feelings
For way too long we were told that the reason why we have negative emotions is because our brain is at fault. In other words, we were told that there are "errors" in our thinking and that the brain sends us false signals and creates problems when there are none. And so when we believe this to be...
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067: How To Encourage Children To Do Their Best
Let's talk about encouragement... When we know that children can do better, it is hard not to want to encourage them to do better. Right? We want them to do well. In fact, we want them to do their best. But will they? It all depends on how we approach these situations. The ones when we see a...
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066: One Must-Read Book On Emotional Regulation You Cannot Miss
If you only had time to read ONE book on emotional regulation, which one would I recommend? Until recently I would think long and hard about this question, because there wasn't a book that checked all the boxes for me. Something was always missing. I finally found the missing piece and I have a...
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065: How the Child's Sense of Self & Boundaries Help with Emotional Regulation
What do boundaries have to do with emotional regulation? In this episode we are exploring the connection between the Sense of Self and the child's sense of psychological Boundaries and what they have to do with the child's emotional regulation. We explore why there can be no mental health without…
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064: Navigating Life Storms & Finding Strength in Dark Times
Facing personal losses and overcoming life storms is challenging as it is. But how do we do that in the context of the world at large that seems to be going through crisis after crisis, without an end in sight? Every loss and every challenge we face splits the path we're on into two. One takes…
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063: Understanding Assertiveness & How To Teach Children To Be Assertive
Assertiveness is that special quality we want our children to have. But what is it? And how do we get it? What can we do to make sure our children become more assertive? Feeling lost? You are not the only one. I used to have trouble with it, until something became clear: The trouble with...
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062: Podcast Update, Exciting News & What To Expect In 2023
2023 is here and so are some exciting news that I really want to share with you. Here is what is coming this year: - making commitments to ourselves based on what truly serves us - my book on emotions, their purpose, and how to truly benefit from them. See details at www.dontblamethebrain.com…
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061: The Secret Lives Of Children And Why They Keep To Themselves
Have you been wondering why your child is not sharing as many things as they used to? Do they give you one-word responses or would rather talk about things with their friends? Do they seem less interested in discussing different things with you? And does all of that make it seem as though they…
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060: The Right Gratitude Attitude That Supports You In Parenting
Let's be honest for a second. Is gratitude working for you? No, I am not asking whether you are trying to make it work, but whether you truly feel the way you want to feel when you engage in a gratitude practice. If yes, fantastic (read on, as it may be helpful to know why it's working so well)…
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059: Why Resourcefulness Is The Skill Of The Future & How To Help Children Be Resourceful
Today we are talking about the third and final skill of the Future, which is Resourcefulness. It is one of three core skills our children will need in order to face whatever future may have in store for them. No matter what their life may look like, no matter what they choose to do, they will…
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058: Why Resilience Is The Skill Of The Future & How To Help Children Be Resilient
Today we are talking about the second skill of the Future, which is Resilience. It is one of three core skills our children will need in order to face whatever future may have in store for them. No matter what their life may look like, no matter what they choose to do, they will need the skill of...
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057: Why Self-Regulation Is The Skill Of The Future
In this episode we are talking about self-regulation as one of the core skills our children will need for the future. No matter what the future brings, no matter what they choose to do with their lives, they will need self-regulation. Regardless of what life throws their way, they will manage…
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056: What Makes Gadgets So Addictive & How To Prevent Digital Dependency
It is no longer a secret. Digital devices are designed to be addictive. That should be an automatic red flag when it comes to anything our children handle and interact with. Not only does this mean that it is important we monitor their use, but that we also must think about alternatives. But how...
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Podcast Update and Adapting to Adversity
It's been too long of a pause between episodes! An unintended one at that. It's time I said hello. In this episode I check in with you and give you a quick update on where things are. Host: Julia Pappas, Psychologist & Parent Coach With questions and comments, please reach out on Instagram...
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055: Technology-Loving Children & Misguided Parents
The one area where parents get tricked the most by clever marketing is gadgets and devices... Why? Because one of the clever (even though unethical) ways, in which smart devices are promoted, is through twisting of the language. When gadgets and devices are being sold to us, words that we are...
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054: Have The Courage To Guard Your Children & Your Parenting
Here is what most concerns me lately... I think that we have become too trusting. And because we are overly trusting, we become easily misled. Discernment is a skill every parent should have. You owe it to yourself and your children. Discernment is a mix of common sense with a healthy dose of...
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053: The Parent's Self-Esteem & How Much Does It Matter?
Your self-esteem impacts your confidence, how you show up in the world, and the way you see yourself. Your own self-esteem also impacts your parenting presence. What does that mean? The way you show up in the world also impacts how you show up in the world of your child. And the way you see...
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052: Will Your Child Be Prepared For The Future? Helping Children Become Future-Ready
What do future-ready children look like? And if the future is so unpredictable, how can we prepare our children for it? Thinking about the "great unknown" can cause a lot of anxiety. But here is the good news: Not only is there a set of skills and abilities that will make a difference down the…
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051: How To Raise Children With The Future In Mind
It is not easy to parent a child, especially in unpredictable times. Have you tried planning anything in 2020? Has 2021 turned out as you expected? With so many changes in how we live today and not knowing what we need to prepare our children for, it can be anxiety provoking. One of the ways we...
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050: Where Does Intrinsic Motivation Come From & How Can Your Child Get Some?
Intrinsic motivation is the thing we think will get our kids to do stuff without us nagging at them. We hope that when kids are intrinsically motivated, the need for extrinsic rewards will go away... Put it simply, all of us wonder where does intrinsic motivation come from and how can our…
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049: Finding Gratitude In Parenting & Seeing The Hidden In Our Children
Parenting is so hard Kids are so difficult We are so worn out and nothing is working There is nothing to be grateful for Ugh Although there are times when all of this feels very true, let's also find the courage to look for that which makes it all worth it. We will find many things to be grateful...
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048: Honoring Your Child's Sovereignty & Appreciating Their View of The World
In episode 046, we talked about three essential pillars to respect and the first one was about seeing your child as an Individual: A complete, whole human being with their own thoughts, needs, and feelings… Today we make a special emphasis on the Separateness Factor of being an Individual. As…
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047: Why Do Children Lie? Understanding Your Child's Deceptive Behavior
What do you do when you catch your child lying? Have you been perplexed as to why this happens and what to do with this behavior? To tackle this challenge, we need to understand where the child is developmentally, and also be able to tell the difference between intentional deception and other…
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046: How Treating Children With Respect Helps Both of Us Thrive
Being respectful with children, no matter how frustrating they can be at times, is such an important contributing factor to their overall development. But the one thing we often miss is that treating children with respect also has a tremendous impact on how we feel about ourselves and our...
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045: Screen Time For Kids, Developing Your Own Discernment
As gadgets become part of our children's lives, we begin to hear many opinions on what is "appropriate use" and how much screen time is OK. Where do you get your advice from? How much do you trust The Media? How many of your decisions you started to question based on what someone says? How to…
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044: Understanding Avoidant Tendencies In Children & How To Reduce Them
Is your child simply unmotivated? Are they lazy? Is there more to their lack of engagement? In this episode, we talk about the differences between kids who don't do stuff simply because they don't want to and those who would like to, but can't. These are the kids with avoidant tendencies. They…
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043: Unmotivated Children & How to Engage Them, 7 Basic Principles
How do we resolve a lack of motivation in our children? It is not enough to be frustrated with our children or be disappointed in them. Although the feelings are completely justified, they do not make things happen. To see more motivated children, we need to put in a bit of effort to help them....
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042: The Negative Impact of Comparison On The Child's Self-Esteem
We've all done it. At one time or another, we have compared our children to someone else's. How many times have we said, "Look at so-and-so, why can't you be like them?" Even though never said with an ill intent, comparing children leads to poor self-esteem. A few takeaways from this episode:...
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041: When You Can't Meet Your Child's Needs
Sometimes you are just spent and have nothing to give. Sometimes, even if you'd like to be there for your child, you just can't. Whatever the reason, sometimes we are not there for our children when they need us. Is that a problem? We've talked before about how important it is to take care of…
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040: What Is Connection With Children Really All About
Staying connected with our children is important. But what does it even mean? What does connection look like when it's there, and how do we know when it's missing? Lack of connection is evident in our difficulty to have an impact on our children either with words or actions. That is what we see…
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039: How To Set Limits Without Power Struggles
We often think that it is the limits that children resist, when in fact it is the power and control we exert over them that they don't welcome. Your child has will power, just as do you. When we over-control children, we end up with power struggles. In order to have limits without the power...
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038: How Holding Space for Children Gives Us Back Our Time
When children are well-regulated, we spend less time regulating them. Less time spent on tantrums and arguments, means more time for us and for ourselves. When we invest a bit of time upfront, we get our time back. So how do we do that? To help children be more balanced and well-adjusted, we show...
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037: Why Children Break Our Boundaries & How To Stop It From Happening
When we feel frustrated and exhausted with our child's behavior, we may be attributing our feelings to the way our child behaves. But why do our children behave the way they do? Often an answer to that is poor boundaries. Lack of good boundaries in a Parent-Child relationship can lead to...
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036: Managing Expectations With Children
Expectations and limits can send out kids into resistance and tantrums... How well your child is following expectations and limits you set for them, depends on three important keys: How reasonable these limits are The quality of our relationship with the child How repetitive and consistent are...
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035: Where Do Lazy Children Come From And How To Fix Them
Do you have a lazy kid? How can you tell? If any of the following is true, today's conversation may be for you: If your child never tidies up their room and it always looks like a tornado zone If every chore you ask their help with is declined with disgust If there is no school subject your child...
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034: If Holding Space for Children is Not Easy, How To Resolve Obstacles
Holding space for children is one of the most important things we can do for their wellbeing and healthy emotional development. Although it is a relatively simple practice, sometimes holding space seems like the hardest things to do? Why is that? In this episode we explore 5 most common reasons...
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033: Returning To Sanity And Becoming Your Own Expert
Experts are great, unless you can't follow their advice. Experts are great, until they confuse you. Experts are great, until they disagree. So then what do you do? Whom do you listen to? It's simple. You listen to yourself. Experts know a lot, but the one thing they don't know is you and the...
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032: Preventing Parent Burnout, 8 Steps To Restoring Energy
Knowing how important it is to maintain our well-being as parents, what would you do to prevent parent burnout? You could probably quit your job if it were driving you crazy, but you can't quit your children, no matter how much they exhaust you. Typical suggestions given to people that experience...
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031: Parent On The Back Burner & Why Parents Burn Out
Parents burn out for many reasons, the most important of which is neglecting their own needs. Parenting is a demanding job, with many energy taxing tasks. The most energy draining one of them is holding our child's emotions. Even though we want to be there for our children, supporting them...
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030: Meeting the Child's Needs vs. Bending to Their Wishes
Why is it that we can assert ourselves with other adults, but give in with our children? Why is it that we can decline an invitation and say "Thank you for thinking of me, and I won't be able to. I have made other plans." Yet we feel forced into a game our child set up for us... It is harder to...
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029: The One Need That Matters Most in Childhood
Out of all the needs children have, the need for acceptance plays a critical role in their development. Understanding this very essential and basic need, holds the key to understanding our roles as parents. Sign up here for the Emotionally Intelligent Parenting training. Host: Julia Pappas,...
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028: Overstepping The Child's Boundaries, Mistakes To Watch Out For
Besides accidental boundary crossing, repeated violations happen when we do not acknowledge that children need to have their boundaries respected and protected. A child, no matter how young, has the right to have their own psychological and physical space. The older they are the more that space...
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027: How To Receive So Children Share, The Gift Of Listening
Do you know that the best way to build a strong relationship with the child is to listen to them? But do we know how to listen? Listening done right, helps us see. We may be listening to children all the time. After all they rarely stop talking if you let them. But are we actually receiving what…
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026: The Right Balance of Freedoms & Limits
Children need both, freedoms and limits. Freedoms without limits create chaos. But too many limits lead to unmet needs. How do we get this right? It can be tricky to navigate the new way we build relationships with our children, especially as we become more aware of their rights and needs. So is…
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025: Dynamics of Respect Between Parents & Children
The way we understand respect, determines a lot about how we parent and how much we enjoy it. In the past, parents demanded respect from children (remember how it was when you were little?), but today children expect it from parents. What that practically means differs hugely from family to…
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ABOUT THIS SHOW
The "parenting presence" is the inner strength and gentle wisdom available to any parent who is willing to spend time to get to know themselves. Parents who learn how their own emotional regulation works, how their needs are met, and how actions are guided by thoughts and interpretations — also discover an amazing source of influence and guidance available to them in parenting. Why? Because when parents know the rhythms of their own inner workings, they are also able to discover what makes their child tick.We have many questions when it comes to parenting and just about everywhere we turn – someone’s got the answer! But how do you tease out what really matters? The PARENTING PRESENCE framework is your guide to parenting essentials and it consists of THREE CORE ELEMENTS. It is based on simple principles of child development and incorporates deep personal values everyone holds as a parent. This is a podcast about the most essential parenting skills we need in order to raise children w
HOSTED BY
Julia Pappas, Psychologist & Parent Coach
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Frequently Asked Questions
How many episodes does The Parenting Presence have?
The Parenting Presence currently has 74 episodes available on PodParley. New episodes are automatically indexed when they're published to the podcast feed.
What is The Parenting Presence about?
The "parenting presence" is the inner strength and gentle wisdom available to any parent who is willing to spend time to get to know themselves. Parents who learn how their own emotional regulation works, how their needs are met, and how actions are guided by thoughts and interpretations — also...
How often does The Parenting Presence release new episodes?
The Parenting Presence has 74 episodes. Check the episode list to see recent publication dates and frequency.
Where can I listen to The Parenting Presence?
You can listen to The Parenting Presence on PodParley by clicking any episode. We provide an embedded audio player for direct listening, and you can also subscribe via your preferred podcast app using the RSS feed.
Who hosts The Parenting Presence?
The Parenting Presence is created and hosted by Julia Pappas, Psychologist & Parent Coach.
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