The Podcast of Billionaires

It's become a joke really. The doorbell rings. You open the door to see an overly enthusiastic sausage pizza delivery guy. In real life you should shut the door, lock it and call for help. But here on the internet, you should settle in, pop some corn and get ready for an extra helping of this week's sausage based bad decisions. Enjoy the show!

Have you ever had someone disappoint you so much that you had to beat them with a burrito, fake a heart attack and get arrested? That might be a bad decision. We talk about the she hulk from West Virginia, the mystery of the haunted can warehouse and more on this week's episode. Enjoy the show!

There are times when you have to take a stand. Sometimes it’s when the cops are coming after you. Other times it’s when the local villagers are trying to break off your junk. You especially have to take a stand if you are a statue. Find out about these brave monuments, some dumb criminals and how to “Dial-A-Swede” on this week’s episode. Enjoy the show!

Do you have a love of fast food and reptiles? Do you enjoy reading on the subway? Have you ever called the cops because your mom was mad at you for smoking all of her meth? If you have answered yes to any of these questions, this show is for you. Sit back, relax, unplug from the internet and read a book. Only after you listen to this episode of the Podcast of Billionaires. Enjoy the show!

Do you remember that time when you thought your best pal had your back? It was you and your bestie vs. the world, and you knew you’d come out on top. On this week’s episode we explore the vast landscape of what can go wrong when a foolish fool is betrayed by his friend. Strap it on tight and join us for this week’s episode. Enjoy the show!

This week's bad decisions fruit pretty hard. Apple store attacks, banana attacks and a breakfast gone down in flames. Feel better about yourself by listening to the show. Buckle up and come on in!

Are people and possums coming out of your fridge and microwave? Have you called the cops for help? Do you have pictures of camouflaged people that only you can see? If you've answered yes to any of these questions you are gonna love this week's episode. Enjoy the show.

Guns, Spiders, Naked Ketchup Rampage. This week’s episode has it all!

Only one person can truly be this week’s bad decision of the week. Is it going to be the off-duty police officer who bit a guy in the testicle, or the drunk mother who fell out of her moving vehicle while trying to buckle her 3 year old’s seat belt. Only you can tell us for sure! Enjoy the show.

The police are after you for stealing dollar store shampoo. What do you do? A) Attack them with nun-chucks. B) Attack them with a liter of urine. C) Attack them with a samurai sword. D) All of the above...   Hint: It's always D. Enjoy the show.

This guy shows up on your shoulder as you are driving your son to school. What do you do?   Burn the car down Open the door, tuck and roll, GTFO Make Friends with the Spider Listen to the Podcast of Billionaires to distract you   Hint: It’s not all of the above this time… Enjoy the show!

You met your special someone over the internet, and now you are finally together for a romantic encounter. Your partner requested that you wear a blindfold, but during the intimate act the blindfold slips off. You find out that your partner is actually…   A guy who steals Red Bull at knifepoint A woman who dressed up as a male burn vicitm A crazy person who likes to swim naked in the ocean for 16 hours. All of the above.   Enjoy the show!

You are crossing the Canadian border to get back in the us. You are getting detained by security. Why?   Bag of Weapons (Including Crossbow) Foam Rubber Nun-chucks Pooping and Swearing at Cops! Dangerous Selfie All of the Above   Find out more on this week’s episode. Enjoy the show!

Love can make you crazy. It can make you repeatedly get arrested for possession of meth as you blow through traffic with your disgraced beauty pageant winning girlfriend. It can make you take out a hit on your daughter’s homeless boyfriend, and it can make you brandish a crossbow at cops in the vague hope that your parents will get back together. Love is all you need, but if you don’t have love, at least you have the Podcast of Billionaires. We got your back. Enjoy the show!

You are being chased by the police. They finally catch you. What’s your excuse? My plan didn’t work out. Smoking crack makes me thirsty. I’m Tarzan! All of the above.   Find out the answer on this week’s Podcast of Billionaires, enjoy the show!

Milk, milk, lemonade… This week show has a milk flavored theme that will have you tossing your cookies. Quick Quiz: According to Mr. T, you should do which of the following?   Drink Milk Stay in School Don’t Do Drugs All of the above   Enjoy the show!

We are back. So are you. A lot happened in the months we've been off the air. Too much if you ask me. Let's dive right in to the world of bad decisions with the following:   A) A little something extra for the lawn care employees B) Something to make your hot pants even hotter C) 500 kilometers that you'll never forget   Also, a bonus story about Freddie's nuts. Enjoy the show!

It's been a while since one of these quizzes so here we go: How do you know it's time to 'let it go'? A) You nearly get crushed by a trash truck while diving in a dumpster looking for your wallet. B) You just filled your pants with stolen frozen fish. C) You get pulled over by the cops for riding a shopping cart down a steep crowded hill.   Hint: It's all three. Enjoy all these and more in this week's episode!

Have you ever been so mad at someone that you put a lizard in your mouth and slapped them with it?   In this episode of the podcast we learn about what it takes to drive you to the edge. Enjoy the show!

We've got a new year and a whole lot of bad decisions. Join us as we explore the future together with the following nopes.   1) Stuff a chainsaw in your shorts. 2) Steal a car whilst yelling "Happy New Year" 3) Dumping a quarter ton of porn in the local park.   How about a solid "nope" to all three. Enjoy the show!

Your family is driving you nuts this holiday season. What are you going to do about it?   Strip down and climb into the ceiling in an airport bathroom Destroy an apartment building with a crane Scare your local Timmy’s employee with a ‘thrown’ snake.   Hint. It’s all of the above. Enjoy the show!

This week in the Podcast of Billionaires we learn what it is to love again. We also learn that you shouldn't pee on an electric space heater, drive your wingless plane to the bar or poke your live in girlfriend in the eye because she gave you waffles instead of pancakes.   Let's try and stay classy. Enjoy the show!

Oh no. One of your friends is trying to tell you that someone is dead. What do you do?   A) Listen to them and show empathy? B) Hog tie them naked by the side of the road? C) Beat them with a bucket? D) Tell them you love their Alps and Cheese!   Hint: In this week's episode it's all of the above. Enjoy the show!

Let's walk a mile in someone else's shoes: You are high on "spice". Someone calls 911. The ambulance shows up. What do you do next? A) Steal the ambulance and drive it to the ocean? B) Put on your 'I C) Take off your pants and do the public restroom limbo.   Hint: It's all of the above. Enjoy the show.

You are one attractive kitchen worker at Chili's. What should you do to celebrate?   A) Take off your shirt and start taking pictures. B) Make a calender of you in women's Halloween costumes. C) Dress up like a Teletubby and steal some Chinese food.   Hint: It's all of the above.   Enjoy the show!

Last weekend was pretty dull. This weekend is going to be much better. What should you do? (Select all that apply)   Sharpen your spear Criticize a drunk stripper Toss a chainsaw at a police cruiser Give her the old San Giorgio   If you selected all of the above, you are a true billionaire! Enjoy the show.

What happens when you get some road rage in Russia?   A) A guy dressed like a pokemon trainer won't get off your lawn. B) Four mascots pile out of a van and beat the stuffing out of you. C) Some crazy lady pushes you down and bites you.   Hint: It's probably all of the above. All of this, the toddler fight club and more on this week's episode.   Enjoy!

It happened again, you spent the evening engaged in bad decision and budding regrets. When you wake up the next morning, which of your activities will make you cringe the most?   A) Cooking meth with your friends then hallucinating about a home invasion. B) Camping in the middle of the street under an American flag. C) Mummifying Barbie. D) Listening to this week’s episode of the Podcast of Billionaires.   Enjoy the show!

It’s time to hit the town again. You've got some big plans. What should you do next?   A) Dress up like a penguin and steal some beer. B) Ask a dude for a cigarette, then stab him with a beer bottle. C) Visit the toilet museum. D) All of the above!   Hint: Enjoy the show!

In this episode we review several bad decisions. Each of them have which of the following?   A) No Pants B) No Pants C) No Pants   Hint: It's C. Enjoy the show!

You just can't get anything right today. You've tried to burgle a restaurant and all you've gotten to show for it is the tip jar and a load of cops coming your way. What should you do next?   A) Take your boyfriend for a naked walk on a leash in West Virginia. B) Make some gummy bear bratwurst. C) Try some relaxing, traditional Chinese 'fire therapy'.   Don't worry, if you can't decide just listen to this weeks episode. We cover all of the above. Enjoy!

You are having trouble getting along with your spouse. What should you do?   A) Call the cops and then passive-aggressively carve a watermelon. B) Put a plastic bag on your head and rob a gas station. C) Pay a six foot three inch tall 280 pound woman to sit on you.   Hint: it's all of the above.

What do you do if you aren't satisfied with your love life?   A) Get drunk and join the TSA B) Get busy with a lead pipe C) Make a sad spreadsheet and email it to the entire internet D) All of the above   Hint: This week, it's all of the above. Special co-host Al Fein. Enjoy the show!

It's hard to hide in the crowd. The NSA, Google, and Facebook all know who we are. Costumes rarely work and face masks make you stand out. What are you going to do?    A) Gain 400 pounds and drive around without a seat belt? B) Dye your hair orange and cover your face with sharpie? C) Listen to the Podcast of Billionaires... (Nobody does that...)   Enjoy the show!

This week's Podcast of Billionaires answers some powerful questions:   How far are you willing to go for a salad? Why did your parents name you Crystal Metheny? The ice cream man didn't give you sprinkles; should you call 911?   Find out the answers to all this and more. Enjoy!

Which is worse: dressing up like a gorilla and getting shot by a zookeeper, or getting your rear end handed to you in a fight with an 82 year old woman with a golf club. Find out on this week’s episode. Enjoy!  

The fast food restaurant doesn't have a fresh cinnamon bun to sell you. What should you do?   A) Buy a hot apple pie instead.   B) Show some self control and skip the treat.   C) Scream at employees, threaten to shoot up the place, and get arrested.   (Hint: It's always C...)   Enjoy this "Tasty Treat" Edition of the Podcast of Billionaires.

We've been doing this show for two whole years now, and we've learned many things. Naked people in public make bad decisions. It's possible for an accountant to out wrestle a crocodile. When you are hiding (nude) in the bushes at a Burger King parking lot, the excuses you give the police probably aren't going to be very good. All this and more on this week's show... Enjoy!

So you finally graduated from the Connecticut Academy of Vehicular Theft. What do you do?   A) Move to Florida B) Steal a Honda Civic C) Crash into an Alligator D) Confess your crimes to police...   (Hint: It's all of the above.)   Find out more about this guy, the pitchfork wielding Waffle House burglar and more on this week's episode. Enjoy!

Mom. This episode is for you. We learn about a mother who attacks a random guy with a microwaved corndog. We also review a bunch of gifts for moms. Including the taco necklace, a chocolate Jesus, some "mop slippers" and more. (For those listeners without moms, we also included a story about a crack smoking machete fighter.)   Enjoy the show!  

You've been drinking Four Loko™. You break into the neighbor's house. He wakes up and catches you. What should you do?   A) Apologize and let yourself out the front door.   B) Threaten to beat the dude up?   C) Strip naked and get stuck under a garage door!   Hint: It's always C... Enjoy!

You are being arrested in the Wal-Mart parking lot (again). The cops think you shoplifted some fried chicken. What do you do?   A) Punch a cop in the junk B) Eat the police report C) Use a toddler as a human shield D) All of the above...   Hint: It's always D.   Also we have a profile of the world's happiest fisherman. Enjoy the show!

This week, we give up editing and do it live. What would happen if we didn't have a host, and instead had three eager co-hosts? We'd still have all the same bad decisions. Buckle up, it's time for a show.  

In this week's show we talk about a woman who was so horny she called 911 for sex. I know you are wondering what the mugshot looks like... Hop on over to this weeks show to find out. (We also talk about spiderface-man and the Scottish sewers.) Hang on tight it's going to be a bumpy ride.

Good news everyone! We've figured out how to make even the most miserable place in to a happy winter wonderland. Just strip down to your birthday suit, evade cops for a minute or two, get tazed in the face and fall down. It worked for this guy in Pittsburgh and it could work for you.   Find out more in this week's episode! Enjoy.  

You're in trouble and you are going to be spending the weekend in lockup. Who would you rather have as a cellmate?   A) The guy mailing cat poop to businesses that wouldn't hire him? B) The guy who tried to sell his girlfriend on ebay? C) The pimp who is suing Nike for not putting a warning label on their sneakers that says, "not suitable for pimping."   We talk about all of these special valentines and more in this week's episode. (Special listener call-ins also.) Enjoy the show!    show notes @ www.podcastofbillionaires.com

Quiz time!   Who is the baddest mother?   A) The self proclaimed "Baddest Mother". A 74 year old man drinking 4 pints of vodka in Vero Beach, and tussling with the law.   B) A drunk man passed out in a burning truck parked in a Taco Bell drive-thru, who hands the cops a taco when asked for his identification.   C) Will Greenlee, a Florida native and Master of Journalism who writes the Off the Beat blog.   Stay tuned for the answer in this week's Podcast of Billionaires.   www.podcastofbillionaires.com

So a Canadian mayor, a stabby racist, a Walpole man, an Argentinian nudist/carjacker, and 90 cows walk into a bar. The bartender says, "Is this some kind of joke?" No, it's not a joke. It's this week's Podcast of Billionaires. Enjoy! show notes @ www.podcastofbillionaires

It's true, you like movies. You like them so much that you start a blog dedicated to all things cinematic. The next thing you know you are watching a terrible movie about your Uncle Kent and his junk. But the fans need you. You can't stop now, you have to take the good with the bad. You have to relax, do you.. A) Accidentally burn down your house by starting a toilet paper fire? B) Shoot yourself in the crotch in a road rage incident? C) Post your own wanted poster on your facebook, "It's me!" (LIKE) D) Come on the Podcast of Billionaires and talk about all of the above. www.podcastofbillionaires.com

Quiz time! What's the worst thing about visiting the doctor? A) The wait is too long... B) The waiting room is full of people with the flu and no concept of personal space. C) Your doctor's office is actually a Starbucks, and he wants to give you a thorough exam. Find out about this and more on this week's Podcast of Billionaires. Enjoy! show notes @ www.podcastofbillionaires.com