The Real HouseBears Podcast

It's good to be covering The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills again, and we're thrilled to offer our opinions on The Real Housewives of Potomac for the first time in a Real Housebears Podcast episode. In this week's Bear Den Drama, Hunter thinks that Dorit from #RHOBH is giving Sandy in Grease. Papa the Bear gives Stacey from #RHOP one of his Honeypot Moments of the Week. We also rate how many Claws Out the ladies of Potomac earn for their reunion looks.

We did a dance with the devil and are finally able to get out our thoughts on the #RHOSLC Reunion Part 3. In this week'sBear Den Drama, Britani gets Hunter so worked up that he's bringing out adult toys. In theHoneyPot, Papa the Bear likes how Angie K embraces her religion. We both rate how manyClaws Out the women have for all 3 parts of the reunion.

Two episodes in one week, as promised! This week in the Bear Den Drama, Hunter still isn't quite sure what Angie K and Meredith were mad about in the first place, and Papa the Bear appreciates Bronwyn's linguistics. Both of us have Todd in our Honey Pot. Papa the Bear gets stumped in Paw-sitive ID, and we rate the SLC husbands in this week's Claw's Out.

The Housebears are out of hibernation! It's a new year and a new us. Gather in the den with us as we cover the top stories and conflicts of the #RHOSLC reunion episode 1 in Bear Den Drama. Have a taste of our favorite moments of the week in a new segment we call The Honey Pot. Can you identify who said it in our game Paw-sitive ID? The Housebears are back and the Claws are Out!

It's Papa the Bear's birthday! We're celebrating in Las Vegas and FINALLY found reliable internet to upload our episode. Enjoy our raw recap of the Desert and the Deserted.

Our newly-discovered sound effects aren't the only things these Huzzbands are playing with this week. Hunter is still yelling at our producer, James...or is it Chris? Papa the Bear wants to get the choir back together so Britani can sing in it. We both think that Costco rotisserie chicken is so bussing that it can save MomTok. Join us this week as... oh wait! Did we mention that Papa the Bear's birthday is next week?

We're covering Angie K and Hot Shawn's Mafia Wives and Bad Vibes 25th wedding anniversary on our 4th wedding anniversary. Two episodes in one day is our present to you. Now, where are our presents? This week, Hunter has a diagnosis for Jack. Papa the Bear thinks Lisa needs a technology upgrade. We both need a patent for our cry-angle design. Hang up your landline phone and spend your Halloween with the Housebears. Did we mention that we love gifts?

Just like Whitney Drew and Her Clues, The Real Housebears bring you the investigative journalism that you have always counted on. This week, Hunter reveals our secret identity. Papa the Bear thinks Britani has a lovely singing voice. We both think that Bronwyn seems like a seasoned Housewife. Wipe the mud off your face, and enjoy our wedding anniversary recap.

It doesn't take an Epiphany to understand why a sprinter van is the most dangerous place to be if you're on the #RHOSLC cast. This week, Hunter wants you to tell him about 8-track tapes and a time before seatbelts were law. Papa the Bear refuses tepid water. We both have evidence that a certain #RHONY offspring is having sex. Pour a mug of Miller High Life and check out The Real Housebears, the Champagne of Podcasts.

Basketballs, Bobbleheads, Brow Girl, and Bears...Oh, my! This week, Hunter thinks he might start using tampons when he travels. Papa the Bear brings out a new impersonation. We would both rather drive to Provo than walk The Salty Mile at the SLC Airport. You might not get true investigative journalism, but if you want two guys talking about Hot Shawn in tight pants, we've got a podcast for you!

We're so excited about the return of the ladies from New York City that we're close to busting our Guggenhymen. This week, Hunter wants your dad to send him an email. Papa the Bear is giving away production secrets. We both wonder if #MomTok will survive Brynn and Ubah's fight. Tune in this week for our #RHOSLC and #RHONY recaps and to find out which Housewife has perfect nipple placement.

There's no place like home! #RHOSLC is back for season 5 and nothing makes us happier than talking about our favorite ladies of Bravo. This week, Hunter has a Freudian slip and connects with Bronwyn over their love for older men. Papa the Bear can't help looking below the waist. For once, we find something that we just can't agree on. We don't know if #MomTok can survive if you don't listen to this week's #TheRealHousebears recap of the Real Housewives of Salt Lake City. Due to technical difficulties, there is no video with this week's episode.

Bravo meets A&E. We had the greatest pleasure to interview the star of 60 Days In and Housewives Superfan, Nina Palmer. It was like chatting with an old friend catching up on her life, her Faith, and her experience on 60 Days In. We also play a really fun game of "Which Housewife Would You Rather?" Join us in Gen Pop and catch our interview with our new best friend.

While we are counting down the days until the #RHOSLC premiere, we’re recounting our favorite moments on Bravo in the meantime. This week, Hunter does not like polish on men's toes. Papa the Bear thinks that Emily and Gina should work on their communication skills. We're both alARMed by one of Tamra's confessional looks. Put on your favorite cat themed outfit and check out our favorite moments from #RHOC and #RHODubai.

We have so many things that we want to talk about, but we'll try not to go Off the Rails. This week, Hunter is still surprised by how vicious Tamra from #RHOC can be. Papa the Bear thinks you're missing out on #RHODubai. We're both celebrating the release of the #RHOSLC trailer. Don't be a pigeon; soar with the Housebears.

When All Is Said and Done, we decided it was more important to release a new episode rather than delaying our release for editing. This week, the HouseBears are in separate cities, so we're coming at you raw and unedited. Please be gentle.

Despite the warnings, you can Trial This At Home with the Housebears. This week, Hunter wants you to look at him. Papa the Bear is getting it on a Wednesday. We both want a certain cast member to keep her mouth closed. Join us for this week's #RHONJ recap. Everyone's invited to our Guys' Night.

You know it's a Sleep Over with One Eye Open when Abigail Elizabeth Kissentell is reading your kiss. This week, after weeks of pondering Hunter finally learns why Teresa hates Margaret so much. Papa the Bear has a girl crush on Jenn Fessler. We both want to get our prostate milked. Get comfy in your Namaste B$tches sweatshirt and get freaky like a band kid with us as we recap this week's episode of #RHONJ

We enjoyed this week's RHONJ so much that the Housebears are excited to give you several inner pieces of our mind. This week, Hunter returns from the Bear World Magazine Awards in Massachusetts. Papa the Bear wants to walk in a mall fashion show. We're both confused by the Namaste B$tches logo. Forgive us for coming out a few days late, just like Teresa was able to forgive God.

The one thing we learned from this week's episode of #RHONJ is that it is crappy Behind Frenemy Lines. This week, we understand how Hunter is just like Dolores. Papa the Bear is more satisfied with episode titles. We both talk about the moments that we regret missing because we turned our head, like Teresa did at the Tulum party. Call in (or call out) and take some time to listen to this week's episode of The Real Housebears.

If Luis can give John Fuda 20 seconds of his time, maybe you can give us an hour this week as we recap episodes 7 and 8 of #RHONJ. This week, Hunter is a Cheesasaurus. Papa the Bear is convinced Dubai's Sergio is in New Jersey. We both are begging you to help us solve an important mystery. Pour a Gorga Spritz and join us, or else Hunter will use his Valentina pouty face.

We're back from the Glitz & Blitz of our travel and ready to catch up on all of the #RHONJ Margs & Marriages. This week, Hunter refuses to talk about anyone's esophagus. Papa the Bear wonders who is naming these episodes. We're both trying to decide which wolf we're going to release during the episode. Don't be bougie; catch up with The Real Housebears.

It's our 150th episode! The devil has been trying to keep us away, but we are in a League of the Devil's Worst Enemy. This week, Hunter is trying to evade love attacks. Papa the Bear thinks you should keep "dorters" out of the drama. We're both convinced that Jenn Fessler should be a fulltime Housewife. If you're tired of the tug-of-war, lay down your rope and listen to our recap of this week's #RHONJ episode.

If we're Shore-ing Up Sides, the Real Housebears are always on whatever side Frank is on. This week, Hunter may or may not have Traitors casting news. Papa the Bear thinks you should keep your muffin to yourself. We both clear up how much we have respect for the #RHONJ OG. Don't be a fun-sucker; have fun with us as we recap episode 3 of this season of The Real Housewives of New Jersey.

The Icing on the Brain Cake is a few audio issues this week, but we're here, we're queer, and we're recording this podcast. This week Hunter thinks that one of the husbands is Evil Ken. Papa the Bear breaks his straight guy reality tv rule. We both debate Brain Party vs Mocking God Party. Put down your pickleball paddle and tune in to this week's episode.

The Housebears are back and so glad to be talking about our favorite topics: Housewives and ourselves. This week, we're cathcing up with the Housebears. Hunter's proposing Vanderpump parallels with this season of #RHONJ. Papa the Bear is Patient Zero in his college horror story. We're both wondering when Frank is going to come back into our lives. Don't be a has-been; be a double sided dildo with us!

We finally get answers in part 3 of the #RHOSLC Reunnion, but we are left with even more questions. This week, Hunter ponders if Mary dives into the women's insecurities to hide her own. Papa the Bear wonders if Monica would be any good on Traitors. We both need to know if Meredith ever got an apology from the women for believing the Greek Mafia DMs were from her. We are taking a short break now that the season is over, but we'll back before you can churn butter by hand.

Bravo might be saving all of the juicy bits for part 3 of the reunion, but we are giving you all of our juicy bits for part 2. This week, Hunter has opinions on mothers who smother. Papa the Bear thinks that Jack Barlow has comedy. Both of us think that Mary has poor judgement of Whitney. Join us for another week of laughs and Dumb Bitchery.

Reunited and it feels so good, at least for the Core 4. This week, Hunter uses Monica's own words against her. Papa the Bear explains how Lisa's ring saved Henry's life. We both have many people to thank and make #HousebearsFamous. We watched the uncensored version of the #RHOSLC reunion part 1, so expect a little less censorship from us this week.

This was possibly the best episode of The Real Housewives in Housewives history. It was definitely the best finale. This week, Hunter is convinced that not only does Monica find the dirt on these women, but she also found Lisa's ring. Papa the Bear explains why he thinks about Heather Gay during sex. We both debate whether Monica should come back next season. Recap this mind-blowing episodes with more dramatic queens from Salt Lake City.

We'd rather be Swimming with the Fishes than miss recapping this week's #RHOSLC. This week, Hunter is a gay reindeer with a shiny nose. Papa the Bear is curious about the anatomy of Justin Rose's nose. We both hope that our anatomy doesn't get exploited, but we kind of hope it does. Who knows? It's our last episode of the year. Happy Holidays from The Housebears!

You'll have a Blue, Blue Christmas without our recaps of episode 13, Bermuda Views and Bathtub Blues and episode 14, Bermuda Birthday Blues. This week, Hunter admits that his core issue with Housewives is jealousy. Papa the Bear is taking a Bible Break. We both give insight into Heather's sexual boundaries. Hook up the IV and get your makeup done. It's time to rally!

If We Could Churn Back Time, we might have recorded an episode last week instead of stuff ourselves with food. Instead, we have another supersized episode to match our supersized guts. This week, Hunter is not interested in traditional Pioneer cuisine. Papa the Bear claims to be Heather's best match. We both continue to share our love of Lisa Barlow. We have some new sound equipment, and offer an Icy Apology for the new equipment learning curve.

We want Mormons to Get a Good Rap, so we completely support a Lisa Barlow Hip Hop Christmas album. This week, Hunter is the star of the episode. Papa the Bear hears with all the colors of the wind. We both think that Heather's castmates should read her book. Don't be loose like Mary's wig; this #RHOSLC recap is tight.

We stand with Beauty Lab + Laser and give an admittedly one-sided recap of this week's #RHOSLC episode. We're in between work trips and Papa the Bear's birthday weekend in Portland, so The Real Housebears are going raw once again. This week, we have a lot of opinions about the Don't Come for My Sound Bath episode, but it's really all about Papa the Bear's birthday...at least to Papa the Bear it is.

We're back after a week off, and ready for some Moms, Missions, and Mayhem. This week, Hunter finds Monica's long lost sister. Papa the Bear thinks the truth is somewhere in the middle. We both choose our favorite lines of the show. We're as happy to be back in the Hot Closet as Monica's mom is to be on television.

The finale of #RHONY marks a new season for The Real Housebears, and now it's all about #RHOSLC. This week, Hunter discovers that he is a Greek dancer. Papa the Bear thinks that Angie K is giving us classic Housewives. We both want to get loud with Seth. This highest rated season of Salt Lake City is like an Olive Branch to viewers without the Thorns.

Suprise! We have been Connecticut-ing the Dots and realized that a few dots weren't connected. We decided to give the #RHONY finale it's own special episode so that we could give the ladies of RHONY the respect and attention they deserve. This week, Hunter thinks that people In the Know wear their masks to a masquerade party. Papa the Bear is recovering from Bumper Car PTSD. We both make some wrongs right to give a more fair and balanced perspective of our past Anguilla recaps.

You might have heard the Après Rumor that we've had a Night at Swingers, but we've actually just been hairy, sweaty bear missionaries. This week, Hunter is trying to save a Jonas Brother from the Whale. Papa the Bear is challenging Mary to a choir sing-off. We both think we're going to try Heather's Snow Diet. Check out another week of your drunk uncles recapping your favorite shows.

The Nastiness and Rumors are true. We are not Well Healed coming back from vacation, but we're here, we're queer, and we're doing this podcast! This week, Hunter believes that conversations about threesomes equal healthy relationships. Papa the Bear thinks that Mary Cosby needs to host a Weakest Link reboot. We both think that we'd be pretty compatible friends with Erin and Abe. We'll do whatever you want to get you to listen to this week's #RHONY and #RHOSLC recap...as long as you have an agreement.

We had the great pleasure of chatting with "Abe the Babe" Lichy, Erin's husband, from The Real Housewives of New York. Abe is a hidden gem on the show with a wide variety of skills and interests. In addition to taking Abe's Bravo podcast virginity, we also find out who he is inviting into his bedroom. The music takes us over with the Lichy Nuts and Abe's DJing skills. We all want to take an Ultimate Guys' Trip together. Chatting with Abe was one of the easiest conversations we've ever had, and we are thrilled to know more about the man behind the Housewife.

Don't Be A Drag; hang out with the Housebears as we solve the Case of the Missing Phone. This week, Hunter explores his embarrassment kink. Papa the Bear is experiencing a Nightmare on Groundhog Day. We both have been ruined by @drunkdrawn on Instagram. We're back from vacation and ready to fill your week with more Housebears than you ever knew you needed.

The Housebears are back on the road this week, so that means you get this week's #RHOSLC and #RHONY recap early. That also means No Tricks and All Trust for another raw and unedited episode. This week, Hunter's 23 and Me test reveals that he is the lycan spawn of Ubah and Brynn. Papa the Bear crowns the true Lucy and Ethel. We're both feeling Naughty-ical by Nature knowing that what we say won't be edited out.

We're back in the Hot Closet, but we'd rather be crashing a Housewives Vacation in Palm Springs or Anguilla. This week, Hunter is in a hairy situation at the dinner table with Ubah. Papa the Bear relates to Monica's shopping needs. We both think we should be on Meredith and Seth's Hanging by a Thread Podcast. There's Nothing Vanilla about our RHOSLC and RHONY recaps.

We're having a difficult time keeping it Business Classy because we're so excited about the RHOSLC season 4 premiere! This week, Hunter wants to spend Christmas in Rockefeller Center. Papa the Bear finally finds out if Lisa Barlow has cooked eggs since last season. We're both hungry for sushi nachos. Once again we are away from the Hot Closet, but we couldn't miss this most important week. Our excitement level is so high that we're like Cocaine Bears with some Fresh Powder and a Fresh Start.

If you Wreath What You Sow, then we must be sowing good times with a lot of laughs. This week, Hunter is Brynn, but has also joined Team Jessel. Papa the Bear appreciates that Erin is doing her job. We're both still waiting on our Jenna Lyons gift basket. We're not in the Hot Closet this week, so this #RHONY recap is raw and uncut.

We are absolutely Not Sorry for getting emotional during the Grand Finale of Crappie Lake. This week, Hunter faces his biggest fear: becoming Jessel. Papa the Bear wants to attend a school that has both international campuses and celebrity students. We both think that Craig from Benton has had a bigger arc than most Housewives. Don't miss this week's #RHONY and #CrappieLake recaps by Reality Television Superstars, The Real Housebears.

You don't have to worry about us being Fashionably Absent this week. It's Christmas in July in the Hot Closet, where the heat and humidity match Benton, Illinois. This week, Hunter shows off what a chess expert he is. Papa the Bear explains why Jessel is not the new Ramona. We both still wonder how many Housewives it takes to screw in a lightbulb. Relax in the Luann Suite and let the Housebears do all of the heavy lifting.

It's easy to have creative differences when you know that you're the most Brynnteresting person in the room. This week, Hunter wants more traditional food for Friendsgiving. Papa the Bear wants to know who told Brynn about the first six months of her life. We both are really enjoying getting to know the ladies of #RHONY. We practiced with Courtney Cox for a full 30 minutes. Don't miss it!

We're Taking Care of Business with this week's recap of #RHONY and #CrappieLake. This week, Hunter is Feeling Jovani. Papa the Bear is giving his hall pass to David, the trainer. We both play Two Truths and One Lie. This week's episode is hotter than a fresh plate of Shakshouka.