The Retro Craptacular

We return to review a film that almost seems like it was made specifically to be reviewed by this podcast. A brightly coloured animated musical film... about sperm. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Merry Crapmas. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

It's Freddy, It's Jason, they fight, what more do you want?Also, we talk about Ahsoka until 47:00linktr.ee/retrocrappod Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This month we take a look at Tom Hanks' debut acting role in the made-for-TV movie, Mazes & Monsters. This episode was recorded about 6 weeks prior to release but was delayed due to technical issues, so some of the "current events" we discuss will be outdated at the time of release.https://linktr.ee/retrocrappod Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Since it's our 69th (nice) episode we figured we should watch something sexy (?). We watched Species. Were we aroused? Listen to find out.linktr.ee/retrocrappod  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

We're Back! Toe celebrate our long-awaited return we decided that watching a Sci-Fi Original Movie would be a good idea. Was it?linktr.ee/retrocrappod Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Any property worth its salt deserves a good old-fashioned Christmas Special! And what better way to sell toys than to mash up 2 of the best cartoon shows based on toy lines of the 80s?We talk about Andor and stuff a bunch at the beginning. Review starts at 42:00 Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

It's part 2 of our exploration of The Exorcist prequel films. This time we look at the original version directed by Paul Schrader. Is it any better than Renny Harlin's re-shot prequel? There's only one way to find out. Well, I guess there are two ways. You could watch them and decide for yourself, or you could just listen to us talk about them so you don't have to. You should probably do that.https://linktr.ee/retrocrappod Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

For some reason we thought it would be a good idea to watch both versions of the Exorcist prequel, starting with Renny Harlin's reshot version, Exorcist: The Beginning! Next episode we will tackle the original version, Dominion: Prequel to the Exorcist. Is this a terrible idea? Probably!https://linktr.ee/retrocrappod Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Since Buzz is back on the big screen we thought it would be fun to look back on his long-forgotten small screen debut! Buzz Lightyear of Star Command is the original origin story for the Space Ranger that Disney seems intent on forgetting. Does it hold up? Or does it suck to infinity and beyond?https://linktr.ee/retrocrappod Stranger Things 4 and Kenobi Spoilers 6:57 - 26:00Extended Stranger Things 4 and Obi-Wan Kenobi chat on Patreon! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Runaway Train is proof that if you throw enough crap at the wall, eventually something will stick. Also Reviews for Moon Knight and Doctor Strange 2: The Traffic Lights are Backwards!! Skip to 41:00 for the Runaway Train segment.linktr.ee/retrocrappod Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

The first episode of our CANNON FODDER miniseries is here! In this series we take a look at the movies made by Cannon Films, starting with Chuck Norris' Cannon debut, Missing in Action!The Batman Spoilers at 14:50 - 26:55linktr.ee/retrocrappod Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

We celebrate International Women's Day in the worst way possible, and for that, we are truly sorry. This is a new low. https://linktr.ee/retrocrappod  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Since it's the most romantic time of year we thought we should look at a film that captures one of the most romantic concepts of all: REVENGE! Valentine is a fun, holiday-themed slasher movie from the early 2000s by the director of Urban Legend. https://linktr.ee/retrocrappod  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Here's a thing that absolutely should never have been made but we are so glad it was! Super Mario Bros. is an utterly baffling film that makes zero sense but also makes for an entertaining time... kinda...   Spider-Man No Way Home & Hawkeye SPOILERS @ 2:20 - 24:40   linktr.ee/retrocrappod Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

It's the worst Christmas Movie   linktr.ee/retrocrappod Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

It's Man vs. Alien Cyborg in this low budget sci-fi action romp from 1989! Spoilers for The Eternals and Dune from 5:50 - 33:56   linktr.ee/retrocrappod  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

After Halloween 2, John Carpenter wanted to try and make Halloween an anthology franchise with each film telling a different story set on Halloween night. Halloween III Season of the Witch is what resulted. Did it work? Well, Halloween 4 is called The Return of Michael Myers, so... Spoilers for Midnight Mass from 1:17 - 12:46  This episode is brought to you by Beneath the Bog in the Black Forest by A.S. Ember. PRE-ORDER the new audio drama today at https://asember.bandcamp.com/ linktr.ee/retrocrappod  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In the post-apocalyptic wasteland, a cynical drifter agrees to help a small, water-rich community escape a horde of bandits. That was the description for Mad Max 2: The Road Warrior with two words changed to make it applicable to 1987's STEEL DAWN starring patron saint of the podcast Patrick "Dalton" Swayze.   Review starts at 28:40  linktr.ee/retrocrappod Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In honour of Friday the 13th we wrap up the Super Spooky Summer by taking a look at Jason Voorhees' final (not so final) outing in Jason Goes to Hell: The Final Friday! This episode is brought to you by SANDCASTLES & SHORELINES - a RiKai Zine: https://twitter.com/rikaizine  ✨PRE-ORDERS OPEN NOW✨   https://linktr.ee/retrocrappod  Also check out: Super Spooky Summer artwork by Tanisha: https://www.instagram.com/tanisha.tamara/?hl=en  The Green Knight Audio Book: https://asember.bandcamp.com/album/sir-gawain-and-the-green-knight        Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

What happens when you try and sequelize an all-time classic? It's not what you'd expect... We talk about Psycho II for this episode in our Super Spooky Summer!   linktr.ee/retrocrappod   Tanisha's Insta: https://www.instagram.com/tanisha.tamara/   Red Cross: https://tinyurl.com/2jkvwdpa     Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

The Dead are back and there's gonna be trouble! Hey-la, day-la  the dead are back! We kick off the Super Spooky Summer with a look at the dullest entry into one of the dumbest franchises in existence.   linktr.ee/retrocrappod Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Aussie schlock with a Killer Croc! Do we need to say more?   linktr.ee/retrocrappod Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

It's our 50th episode! To celebrate 5 years of podcasting about the best, worst, and most craptacular pieces of cinema ever created, we decided to watch Mortal Kombat!! One of the worst movies with one of the best theme songs ever! Godzilla vs. Kong spoilers 14:07 - 19:56 Mortal Kombat review starts at 38:29   Check out our shit: linktr.ee/retrocrappod Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Do you like Alien? Do you like Sean Connery? Then you'll love this forgotten 1981 sci-fi western starring the man himself. It's basically High Noon on one of the moons of Jupiter. https://linktr.ee/retrocrappod  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

A long time ago, in the far reaches of space, the forefathers of the Egyptians battle a race of alien robots for survival of all man kind while in search of a long lost planet called Earth. It's not unlike another space adventure property of the time but it's also very unlike it in a way, ya know? Anyways, it's not as good as the reboot series so... https://linktr.ee/retrocrappod    Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Death Race 2000 is a Roger Corman Cult Classic! Starring David Carradine and the Sylvester Stallone, it's a campy, stupid, hilarious movie!   https://linktr.ee/retrocrappod     Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

It's Christmas, Ben Affleck isn't who he says he is, and he's in a whole lotta trouble. Ho. Hoho.   Jump to 37:45 to avoid Mandalorian spoilers and get straight into the movie discussion.   https://linktr.ee/retrocrappod Check out Film for Thought: https://filmforthought.co.uk/  Aaron on Let's Watch That: https://podcasts.apple.com/ca/podcast/reign-of-fire-w-aaron-dawson/id769047829?i=1000499894435  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

To celebrate the 66th anniversary of Godzilla and continue our retrospective of the year 2000, we take a look at the beginning of Toho's Millennium Era, Godzilla 2000!  https://linktr.ee/retrocrappod Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

If you thought Gerard Butler was sexy in 300, just wait until you see him as Dracula 2000 in Dracula 2000; a movie that came out in the year 2000. Unless you live outside North America, in which case it's Dracula 2001. Either way, he's sexy and smouldering and he's fighting Christopher Plummer.   https://linktr.ee/retrocrappod    Kuri "An Empire" Music Video: https://youtu.be/WTeYLB7fECQ  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Here's a movie about climbing K2 in the year 2K! Bad jokes aside, Vertical Limit is ultimately pretty fun and there's nothing Chris O'Donnell's bad wig can do to change that.   Movie talk starts at 36:18   https://linktr.ee/retrocrappod Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Heavy Metal 2000 is a sequel to the 1981 cult classic, Heavy Metal! It's not as good. Review starts at 12:12 https://linktr.ee/retrocrappod  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Same Boat is a time travel assassination movie, filmed in secret on a cruise ship. It is available now on VOD. https://sameboatfilm.com/ https://linktr.ee/retrocrappod Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

"The average episode of Xena or Hercules offers a more compelling and imaginative photoplay." - Scott Foundas, Variety (Dec. 8, 2000)   You're not wrong, Scott. This month we watched the hugely disappointing Dungeons & Dragons movie. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

It's a Mars double feature! Every now and then, Hollywood has an idea so good they decide to give it to us twice! As we continue to look back at the year 2000, we explore the strange duology that is Mission to Mars & Red Planet!   https://linktr.ee/retrocrappod Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

It is the year 3000. Man is an endangered species. Here it is! It's widely considered to be one of the worst movies ever made and we decided to watch it to see if it's truly as bad as the legends say.    Find us at https://linktr.ee/retrocrappod Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

We once again take a look back at the year 2000 with this John Woo directed sequel to Brian De Palma's reboot of a 1960s tv series. It's Tom Cruise in Mission: Impossible 2 - Mission Impossibler.   iTunes: http://tinyurl.com/Rcpod Spotify: https://tinyurl.com/y2tfjdwn  YouTube: https://tinyurl.com/kjrrs6g  Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/retrocrappod Twitter: https://twitter.com/retrocrappod Facebook: https://tinyurl.com/y8l9mf5j Email: [email protected] retrocraptacular.libsyn.com   Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Since the world is ending we figured it would be a good idea to list some of our favourite films to watch while in quarantine! We each count down our individual Top Ten Quarantine Movies lists! Plus, a special guest list from our good friend Joel from JoelWatchesMovies! Give the man a read! https://joelwatchesmovies.wordpress.com/     iTunes: http://tinyurl.com/Rcpod Spotify: https://tinyurl.com/y2tfjdwn  YouTube: https://tinyurl.com/kjrrs6g  Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/retrocrappod Twitter: https://twitter.com/retrocrappod Facebook: https://tinyurl.com/y8l9mf5j Email: [email protected] retrocraptacular.libsyn.com Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In honour of The Invisible Man making his way back to the big screen, we're talking Hollow Man from the year 2000! A weird, upsetting, and unusual dip in quality for a Paul Verhoeven joint, Hollow Man is definitely a strange one. But is it good?   Also, we talk about eating ass from 1:02:31 - 1:05:25 so if that's not your jam you can just skip on by. We won't be offended.   iTunes: http://tinyurl.com/Rcpod Spotify: https://tinyurl.com/y2tfjdwn  YouTube: https://tinyurl.com/kjrrs6g  Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/retrocrappod Twitter: https://twitter.com/retrocrappod Facebook: https://tinyurl.com/y8l9mf5j Email: [email protected] retrocraptacular.libsyn.com   Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

We're doing something different with this one. We usually don't review new got a screener sent to us so we decided to watch it and review it. It was not a good experience. Reality Queen! is out now on VOD and in Select Theatres. About Reality Queen! This “documentary,” chronicled by renowned British journalist Diana Smelt-Marlin, follows the comeback attempt of world famous heiress slash celebrity London Logo, as she struggles to regain the limelight from the current queens of reality TV – the “Kim” sisters. Beginning with London's rise to worldwide stardom and her lifestyle of pet psychics, famous BFFs, private jets, sex tapes, her “Heirheads” reality show, international DJing career, etc., Diana Smelt-Marlin takes us up close through the most critical week of London’s career: her epic battle to regain media supremacy. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Who's the black private dick That's a sex machine to all the chicks? (Shaft) You're damn right Who is the man that would risk his neck for his brother, man? (Shaft) Can ya dig it? Who's the cat that won't cop out when there's danger all about? (Shaft) Right on You see this cat Shaft is a bad mother (Shut your mouth) But I'm talkin' about Shaft (Then we can dig it) He's a complicated man but no one understands him but his woman (John Shaft)   Also, We review The Rise Of Skywalker   iTunes: http://tinyurl.com/Rcpod Spotify: https://tinyurl.com/y2tfjdwn  YouTube: https://tinyurl.com/kjrrs6g  Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/retrocrappod Twitter: https://twitter.com/retrocrappod Facebook: https://tinyurl.com/y8l9mf5j Email: [email protected] retrocraptacular.libsyn.com   Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Since December is all about Star Wars now, and we've already watched the only holiday themed piece of Star Wars media, we decided to take a look at the second made-for-TV movie in the Star Wars universe... Ewoks: The Battle for Endor!     iTunes: http://tinyurl.com/Rcpod Spotify: https://tinyurl.com/y2tfjdwn  YouTube: https://tinyurl.com/kjrrs6g  Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/retrocrappod Twitter: https://twitter.com/retrocrappod Facebook: https://tinyurl.com/y8l9mf5j Email: [email protected] retrocraptacular.libsyn.com   Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Doctor Who is machine gunned to death by a Chinese street gang.   Spoilers for The Mandalorian 3:12 - 17:24   iTunes: http://tinyurl.com/Rcpod Spotify: https://tinyurl.com/y2tfjdwn  YouTube: https://tinyurl.com/kjrrs6g  Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/retrocrappod Twitter: https://twitter.com/retrocrappod Facebook: https://tinyurl.com/y8l9mf5j Email: [email protected] retrocraptacular.libsyn.com   Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

For October we look at a horror classic...'s third sequel. A made for TV film chronicling the life of Norman Bates. It's... strange.     iTunes: http://tinyurl.com/Rcpod Spotify: https://tinyurl.com/y2tfjdwn  YouTube: https://tinyurl.com/kjrrs6g  Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/retrocrappod Twitter: https://twitter.com/retrocrappod Facebook: https://tinyurl.com/y8l9mf5j Email: [email protected] retrocraptacular.libsyn.com   Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Anytime we get to watch a Kaiju movie is a good time! This month we're looking at a classic of rubber suits, tiny tanks, and Japanese to English dubbing mishaps! King Kong vs. Godzilla!   iTunes: http://tinyurl.com/Rcpod Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/retrocrappod GooglePlay:http://tinyurl.com/y9bfyz72 Twitter: https://twitter.com/retrocrappod Facebook: https://tinyurl.com/y8l9mf5j Email: [email protected] retrocraptacular.libsyn.com Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Check out Action, Action: https://www.actionactionpodcast.com/   iTunes: http://tinyurl.com/Rcpod Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/retrocrappod GooglePlay:http://tinyurl.com/y9bfyz72 Twitter: https://twitter.com/retrocrappod Facebook: https://tinyurl.com/y8l9mf5j Email: [email protected] retrocraptacular.libsyn.com Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

We're taking the podcast Down Under this month for a look at an Aussie schlock classic, Razorback! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This month we dive head first into this Roger Corman Cult Classic, Forbidden World! It's like Alien, but bad. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This month we watched Roland Emmerich's 1998 Godzilla film. Is it as bad as you remember? Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

For the 40th Anniversary of Alien, we take a look at the Assembly Cut of Alien 3. A far superior version to the theatrical version of the film. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.