The Reverend John Wheeler Podcast
by John Wheeler
A fierce motivational podcast by legendary musician, producer, and agent of chaos: Rev. John Wheeler. He will get you fired up and filled to the brim with a reckless amount of confrontational energy. Tour stories about Blue Felix and Screaming Monkey Boner, tales about stand up comedy, film production, art, adventure, drugs and madness. Earth is hell, there are no rules, do whatever you want until the day you die.
Episodes
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Who Celebrates 9/11?
A grand American tradition turns 23 today.
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MAKE MINNESOTA BIGGER
There is a plot to make The State of Minnesota bigger. John Wheeler and Chris Masimore are in on it. It is in motion now, and you cannot stop it. It is for your own good.
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Olympics Special!
John Wheeler and Chris Masimore do a Special Olympics coverage episode.
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Donald Trump is Dead...
...Dead serious about project 2025! Ha, gotcha with an old school Simpsons reference! Seriously though, we kinda think The Heritage Foundation is actually trying to get him. Put on your Alex Jones official branded tin foil hat and join us, won't you?
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Singin' The Blues With My Old Man
I couldn't think of a better title, but my actual dad was here so it's good enough. We didn't actually sing though. More like, spoke about the blues. Towards the end. Kinda.
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Dead Internet Theory
Rev. John Wheeler and Chris "Xhail" Masimore attempt to stay on topic long enough to explain Dead Internet Theory, and god bless them, they almost do.
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Donald Trump Rule 34
You searched it. Now you're on a list.
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Is Boeing Hiring?
If the Boeing whistle blower is found alive, does that mean the cost is clear and I can apply for his old job? Fly the friendly skies with John Wheeler, Chris Masimore, and Satan.
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Imaginary Problems
Sometimes you get Taylor Swift swag in your easter basket, and sometimes you get Jack Schitt.
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In Bear We Trust!
Most women would rather run into a bear in the woods than a man. I think I would as well, as long as it isn't a polar bear. In that case, I'd rather run into a bunch of dudes driving a tank. I feel like my odds would be better. I was reminded that I shouldn't make light of things like this, at...
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Uber, Brandy, and Mountain Dew
John and Zachy remember the dumb old days.
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Remembering OJ Simpson
OJ Simpson was the Jackie Robinson of getting away with murder, and Obama was the OJ of being elected President. John and Derek remember the good times.
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Two Headed Girl Marries Willy Wonka
Featuring Chris Masimore and Derek Zubich, this episode dives deep into the two most important news stories of 2024: That weird crappy Willy Wonka thing that happened in Scotland like a month ago, and some dude marrying a lady with two heads, right here in Minnesota!
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Is AI Dangerous? Singularity vs Final Stage Capitalism™
This hour of ranting eventually ends in: AI is a tool that we will use to shoot our own legs off. Of course by "we" I mean our corporate overlords- but we as a people will allow them to do it, and turn on each other rather than them, as usual, as is always the plan. And no, screaming on Facebook...
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Is Voting for Beta Males
What? You going to toss a penny into a wishing well and hope the guy on your truck gets to be your new daddy? That's beta-cuck nonsense. Be a real man and go start your own country!
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Is Vince McMahon and Adult Baby?
Is he going to start The Adult Baby Wrestling Federation? X-Hail and Reverend John think YES.
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Was The Super Bowl Satanic?
I hope not. Then I'd have to start watching football.
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Money Laundering with Greg Moog!
The main take away on this episode is that music, art, and entertainment are three different things. Art is definitely for laundering dirty crime money, and music is for fucking shit up.I'll just let you watch for yourself to see Greg's appraisal of the entertainment industry and who runs it.
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Footage of The Miami Mall Aliens! Featuring X-Hail
Aliens have been coming to earth, and it's all because we have the best drugs. Specifically crack. I don't make the rules, but it does explain why they were in Miami.
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You've Been Naughty! The Reverend John Wheeler Podcast XMAS SPECIAL 2023
Sidney Oxboro AKA New Sid joins us by the fire as we go over the long list of disappointing and idiotic things you've all done over the past year. Everyone is getting one of Donald Trump's used diapers for Christmas this year, and frankly that's better than a lot of you deserve.
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How Much Money Did Elon Musk Lose? w/Joe Cocozzello
More than anyone in history, that's how much. We discuss that and Beanie Babies.
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THANKSGIVING featuring Tracy Setterlund
I was originally going to call this one "Hot Homeless Pussy" but I chickened out. Had a pretty good thumbnail and everything. Ah well. In this episode I sit with known industrial felon and old friend Tracy Setterlund. I actually don't talk as much as usual in this one, so you're welcome.
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Why Didn't You Vote?
John Wheeler and Derek Zubich do their civic duty.
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Toyota Prius Broke After 300K Miles.
And here is the story of how I got it fixed for free.
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Gaza Strippers: The Decline of American Propaganda
I think we are living in a time where the American Propaganda Machine is imploding. Chris "X-Hail" Masimore joins Rev. John on a real head scratcher of an episode.
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Can A.I. be president? How bout any alien? Who would even win!? And what are they UP to…
We recorded this in a live theater and it devolved into political discourse about robots and aliens running the country. Jason Krueger was there.
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Is There a God? We Will Do Drugs Until We Figure It Out!
John's friend and fellow comedian/weirdo, Sidney Oxboro, takes the bus to visit him. They both get incredibly faded and try to figure out the meaning of life. It's an extra long one, so you know they succeed!
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Big Flop Pee Wee
Big Top Pee Wee is hands down the worst movie ever made by anyone in any time period, for any reason. We try to explain so you don't have to watch it, but you should watch it anyways because you hate yourself and you deserve to be miserable.
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Is Burning Man Dead?
It died long before the flood. Your beliefs are loose puppet strings waiting to be pulled.
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Pee Wee Herman Faked His Death!?
Believe it or not, you can't believe everything you read, and believe me this story is unbelievable!
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1990s Goth Kid
What did it mean to be a 1990s Goth Kid? For me it meant subversion and violence and toying around with the idea of controlling the way others perceived me in order to leverage them. My therapist once told me that this was unhealthy, so I almost ate his liver with fave beans and a nice Chianti…
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Glass Warfare with Derek Zubich
In Minneapolis, the art of creating glass pipes, spoons, bowls, headies, whatever- was once a dangerous and illicit business.Now it's just a day job with a paid time off and insurance.This podcast sort of gets into that, but it's mostly about forcing myself to make an actual documentary about it...
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The Singularity
We are merging into a better timeline and leaving some people behind. Are you coming with us? Chris @xhailglass and I will help you figure it out.
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Mitch McConnell is DEAD!
That's right, DEAD serious about going to Itchy and Scratchy Land! Andrew Danger Brungalson and I discuss our grim reality.
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Barbie vs Oppenheimer vs The Grimace
Barbbenheimer Grind-house! I don't recommend drinking and theater hopping to watch both of these movies. It's like when I saw Grind-house in the theater. I thought Death Proof was boring, but later when I watched it by itself and realized that it is a far better movie than Planet Terror. I'm also...
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NPC Streamers on Tik Tok EXPLAINED!
NPC streamers model their behavior after video game NPCs, often performing repetitive, almost robotic gestures and phrases. It is the result of multiple years worth of personal data mining and social media behavioral studies to funnel as much money as possible out of users for the absolute least...
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Morgan Pearson Saw a Reptilian Shape Shifter!
On a flight to visit her home in North Korea, standup comic and far-right nationalist radio personality, Morgan Pearson, saw some kind of inter dimensional reptilian alien ghost thing. We have a long conversation about mental health in America, that will someday be used as “exhibit A” in a war...
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Why are Orcas Attacking Boats?
Because they are the elephants of the sea, and an elephant never forgets…
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Titan Submarine FOUND in The Bermuda Triangle! With Peter Pepper…
Prominent Butt Scientist, Peter Pepper, joins Reverend John Wheeler to discuss the impact of Big Bathroom’s corporate agenda, and the role they played in this most recent tragedy. The ocean is God’s toilet, and they are interfering in matters that mankind could never hope to comprehend…
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Alien Whistleblower Interview!
Wasn’t that wild? Chris Masimore and I get violently high and drunk, respectively, and have a frank and straightforward conversation about the nonhuman spacemen from beyond the moon!
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Jesse Ventura and Tim Walz Walk into a Dispensary…
And then they run for president. This podcast is manly about my most recent trip to Colorado wherein I discovered how sloppy, rude, stupid, and inconsiderate most of Minnesota is. Being in a big city where businesses were staffed, shelves were stocked, and people didn’t let their unruly kids run...
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How do you know when you’re an adult?
I’ll tell you how: when you stay up too late, get too drunk, and do a sprawling aimless podcast about nothing, and are man enough to know not to put it on YouTube, and just put out the audio here. It’s the grown up thing to do.
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King Charles III’s Coronation: Everything You Need To Know!
For example, he claims to have a car that runs on wine. Actually, that’s probably the extent of what you need to know. Nevertheless, this week I am joined by Chris “X-Hail” Masimore of Blue Felix and Minnesota Legit fame, and we discuss the joy of monarchy.
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Are Robots Taking Over People’s Jobs?
Rather then forcing people out, robots are filling in the gaps left by a shrinking labor force. This is actually a pretty thoughtful episode about technology logical progress and society. Ya know, In between the rambling and yelling.
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Why Did Fox News Pay Dominion Nearly a BILLION DOLLARS?
I’m seriously asking. I don’t think the official talking points have been sent out yet, and I love these golden times of listening to heavily propagandized simps shooting in the dark trying to come up with their OWN reasons for continuing to worship those who lie to them for profit. It’s usually...
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Is Bud Light Losing Sales?
People throw one beer away and buy another one owned by the same company to prove a point to no one about how they don’t like to have to look at certain kinds of people. We are doing great as a species.
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Does Therapy End?
It did for me. Adderall and ketamine helped a lot, and I explain the whole mess right here.
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COCAIN BEAR SUCKED
In this episode I explain why.
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Did Cocaine Bear Actually Happen?
We review, rewrite, and plan several sequels for Cocaine Bear. Also our friend Jason Krueger joins us. He’s the art director for Fearless Comedy, and the sound engineer for The Monday Night Comedy Show. Also our first ever guest.
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Child Labor Laws REPEALED!
1. Remove reproductive rights. 2. Remove education. 3. Remove child labor laws. 4. Our Ponzi scheme economy that is based on constant population growth and exploitation flourishes for a bunch of rich people that are not you. 5. Your dumb ass celebrates.
About this show
A fierce motivational podcast by legendary musician, producer, and agent of chaos: Rev. John Wheeler. He will get you fired up and filled to the brim with a reckless amount of confrontational energy. Tour stories about Blue Felix and Screaming Monkey Boner, tales about stand up comedy, film production, art, adventure, drugs and madness. Earth is hell, there are no rules, do whatever you want until the day you die.
Hosted by
John Wheeler
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