PODCAST · arts
The Second Bat Guano War
by J.M. Porup on Podiobooks.com
From former Lonely Planet author J.M. Porup comes this classic South American noir...Rats ate his baby daughter while he partied in a disco. Now Horace “Horse” Mann is a drugged-out expat teaching English to criminals in Lima, Peru. Oh, and doing the odd favor for the CIA.When his Agency contact, Pitt Waters, goes missing, Horse's desperate efforts to find his only friend lead him to a Buddhist ashram on the shores of Lake Titicaca. There Horse uncovers his friend's involvement with a group of Gaia-worshipping terrorists who want to kill off the human “disease” infecting the earth.Can Horse find his friend in time? And when he does—will he want to stop him?
Episodes
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BatGuano 33
A parting thought from the author.
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BatGuano 32
A rope pooled at my feet. Wicked view. Dude, you look frozen. Show some enthusiasm already. What's wrong? I'm on no one's side but my own. I'll drink to that. Front row seats to the end of the world. Guilty as charged. Hobbes would be delighted. Is this for me? Like spaying a stray dog. On the...
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BatGuano 31
Pitt was waiting for me. Snacks! Pitt? Or the world? A photo fluttered in my hand. I didn't ask for this. I am not ready. Necrophiliac pimps. The pain woke me. The final assault, bucko. There you are.
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BatGuano 30
Blow the world to kingdom come. How many people had died because of me? Something snapped. Incompatible with life. I taught him. Showed him. What monster of the deep had I awoken? It's not your fault. So sorry. Maybe I'm the one who'll push the button. Missed the banzai, sir. Something I have to...
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BatGuano 29
Fast-forward. An Uzi appears in Victor's hands. Pitt need disappear. Conspiracy to commit first-degree Gaiacide. It was a job. Don't you see? That would have been an acceptable outcome. Remember Sergio Salazar? A deliberate red herring. There are worse things than death. What is he waiting for?...
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BatGuano 28
Hak Po? Kill. Hold your fire! We. Have. Not. A could of freshly dead vulcanologist. I didn't kill Lynn. This isn't a DSU case. Suppose I told you... The mouth of a volcano. That's a live feed, son. War's off, Horse. There faction of monks in Tibet. Why is that a problem? Big fault line under…
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BatGuano 27
Pitt is dead. It sinks in now. To friendship. It's not your fault. What's the worst thing you've ever done? Gooey. Is that what I am? Somebody sabotaged the engine. We could both die here. Is that lipstick? You wanted me to what? Touche. The motorcyclist filled the frame. Jumping jacks. This…
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BatGuano 26
Sprechen zie Deutsch? A cuckoo clock. You are Fritz? Go to Paraguay, my advice. Suicide mission. We want a jeep. World's highest ski resort. Kate was here? Empty the larder. 11:37 tomorrow morning. You know what you're getting yourself into?
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BatGuano 25
The City of Rats. Can you handle this? On the bus the night before. Who was your loss? Haggling with a coca vendor. What then? Was it jealousy? Or just business? Calle de los Brujos! A butcher. More llama fetuses. Wee-skee! Colt .45 Peacemaker. Pay me so I can go! Why did you have to kill that…
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BatGuano 24
I think we got a problem. A high-pitched whistling noise. The boat threw itself onto the beach. Llama mothers. The van. Take a bus? As long as I kill one man first. The man I intend to kill. So you guys in or aren't you? Who is this Ambo? Bring a gun. Maybe a car battery. Destroy his career....
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BatGuano 23
I had my soccer-mom closure. What was Pitt's secret? Gentleman of the jury, the facts are simple. Time to go back to Lima. Aurora. You find your friend? I'm coming with you. Every general needs cannon fodder. You did this. This is real. This is happening. Maggoty cadavers lower property values…
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BatGuano 22
A Bolivian sister act in camouflage drag. Can you get us off? Everybody saw him. Disgraceful. The Escalera de las Incas. A Swede. You filthy pig! Do unto others, and all that. The fucking Finski. Boom. Looking for a friend. No passport? An unwanted party in my pants. We don't want your money,...
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BatGuano 21
Across the lake on the island. One of those AK-47s. Goodbye. Kumbaya. And where is Kate? Fuck that. You saw the size of that bomb, Horace. The boat slid into the lake. Ever think that we could try again? Two Bolivian gunships. A Cubs cap.
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BatGuano 20
The dinner hour. Have you seen Pitt? Is that what he told you. Vow silence, Michael. When you learn? The beach. Later. Cockroaches. Gaia will punish us. How she howled! What a seriously downer take on life. Cross the border. Let's party! Baby, what's going on? Two impotent monsters.
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BatGuano 19
What do you know about bat guano? Chess. Maritime Day. The oil is running out. A plot. A war. Pitt had you kidnapped. The screams...they made me watch. Just one man, Horace. They want to kill each other? I say, let them.
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BatGuano 18
Mother Earth's in danger. Patience, Blessed Jonathan. Why don't you take some sacred sustenance? Let the Blessed Victor explain. Two percent. We have much to thank you for! A postcard.
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BatGuano 17
Right on time, Horse. Take your clothes off. I'm not CIA. Mister Pimples had burst. Do it, Gaia damn it! Six Buddhist monks. Llama fetuses. Ditch the van. A boat ride. Pitt Pitt Pitt! The welcome wagon plum forgot to teach you manners. I didn't come here to see you.
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BatGuano 16
Arriving in Cuzco. Call the police! The fuck, man? It's been how long? Come into my lair. Need a favor. A grave. Was this all there was? Dinner out. Wanna spit roast? A miracle. Come on, ya bloody pikers! Two train stations. A gun.
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BatGuano 15
You mean like a spy or something? Anticucho. A failed escape. The day I met Kate. Lili's grave.
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BatGuano 14
In Hak Po's frying pan factory. Special place I show. Bugs bad. A Coca-Cola. You no want me make you nice sausage? You drop button. Blackmail starts, it never ends.
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BatGuano 13
Are you threatening me? Hak Po. So what am I supposed to do about it? I was never very good at spelling. Whoever said life was fair? Do it for a bro. For a friend.
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BatGuano 12
On a patio. Don't you never eat? Ceviche. Take a toke already! We need your help.
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BatGuano 11
Have to. Stay. Awake. The rustic cabin. A salad shooter. Tomorrow's surfing. What the note said. By the light of the moon. What I am. Don't you ever knock?
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BatGuano 10
A mutant grapefruit. Pretend? Or for real? Far out. Pimp my ride. A molotov cocktail. Red Cap.
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BatGuano 09
The warden's office. Pitt is not your friend. How old am I? Guangzhou Higher Polytechnic. I have a rule. Do you really hate the world so much? Then God help us all. Melodramatic!? Get comfortable. Oh thank God.
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BatGuano 08
A friendly chat with a bucket. A length of heavy rope. Shower scene. A pair of snakeskin boots. It was Ambo. A swarm of ghosts. An unlooked-for reunion. Mom?
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BatGuano 07
Volcanic Volunteers. Your parents called you Echo? No War For Ore. Gaia will never allow it. Wait, Paco? Rubio. A man on vacation. Picture of a lake. The arm bounced, fell back, lay still.
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BatGuano 06
Yes, like that. He quoted Camus. You're so strong!
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BatGuano 05
The address. A woman in a niqab. Purple rabbit. His secret shadow. Cat on fire.
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BatGuano 04
A picture and a postcard. What would Ambo say? Cat'o'nine tails. Bat guano. His what???
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BatGuano 03
Anglo-Dutch Mining, Ltd. Ten tons of baggage. Shanti. Who deserves some pain?
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BatGuano 02
Bros forever, dude? Welcome to Happy Frying Pan Store. Turned out he wasn't a liar.
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BatGuano 01
English for criminals. Horse's camel toe. Lynn's problem. Scars.
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ABOUT THIS SHOW
From former Lonely Planet author J.M. Porup comes this classic South American noir...Rats ate his baby daughter while he partied in a disco. Now Horace “Horse” Mann is a drugged-out expat teaching English to criminals in Lima, Peru. Oh, and doing the odd favor for the CIA.When his Agency contact, Pitt Waters, goes missing, Horse's desperate efforts to find his only friend lead him to a Buddhist ashram on the shores of Lake Titicaca. There Horse uncovers his friend's involvement with a group of Gaia-worshipping terrorists who want to kill off the human “disease” infecting the earth.Can Horse find his friend in time? And when he does—will he want to stop him?
HOSTED BY
J.M. Porup on Podiobooks.com
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Frequently Asked Questions
How many episodes does The Second Bat Guano War have?
The Second Bat Guano War currently has 33 episodes available on PodParley. New episodes are automatically indexed when they're published to the podcast feed.
What is The Second Bat Guano War about?
From former Lonely Planet author J.M. Porup comes this classic South American noir...Rats ate his baby daughter while he partied in a disco. Now Horace “Horse” Mann is a drugged-out expat teaching English to criminals in Lima, Peru. Oh, and doing the odd favor for the CIA.When his Agency contact,...
How often does The Second Bat Guano War release new episodes?
The Second Bat Guano War has 33 episodes. Check the episode list to see recent publication dates and frequency.
Where can I listen to The Second Bat Guano War?
You can listen to The Second Bat Guano War on PodParley by clicking any episode. We provide an embedded audio player for direct listening, and you can also subscribe via your preferred podcast app using the RSS feed.
Who hosts The Second Bat Guano War?
The Second Bat Guano War is created and hosted by J.M. Porup on Podiobooks.com.
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