The Semi-Professionals

In the last episode of this season we close off the Toy Story trilogy. Logline: Before Andy leaves for college, his toys are mistakenly delivered to a day care centre. Woody convinces the other toys that they were not dumped and leads them on an expedition back home.

We are skipping Alphadog and going straight to Toy Story 2 released in 1999 starring Tom Hanks, Tim Allen and Joan Cusack. Logline: When Woody is kidnapped by a greedy toy collector and is nowhere to be found, Buzz and his friends set out to rescue him. However, Woody gets tempted by the idea of becoming immortal in a museum.

We travel back in time to 1995 and watch Toy Story through the eyes of our younger selves. Logline: Andy's favourite toy, Woody, is worried that after Andy receives his birthday gift, a new toy called Buzz Lightyear, his importance may get reduced. He thus hatches a plan to eliminate Buzz.

We god damn near loose our noose on this weeks episode - and we like it, we like smelling with it. Tune into our review of Roman Polanski's Chinatown starring Jack Nicholson and Faye Dunaway. Logline: Mrs Mulwray hires Detective Jake, who specializes in matrimonial cases, to spy on her husband, the builder of the city's water system. He finds himself in a web of deceit when Mr Mulwray dies.

M. Fortnight Shyamalan continues! Part 2: Signs starring Mel Gibson, Joaquin Phoenix and Rory Culkin. Logline: Father Graham Hess and his family migrate to a farmhouse that later becomes the site of strange crop circles that suggest the existence of alien life.

Welcome to what will go down in history as the best miniseries name: M. Fortnight Shyamalan - two weeks of M. Night movies in a row! Part 1: The Sixth Sense Logline: Malcolm Crowe, a child psychologist, starts treating a young boy, Cole, who encounters dead people and convinces him to help them. In turn, Cole helps Malcolm reconcile with his estranged wife.

We speeeend or spaahhhhhn some time with Vincent Gallo and Christina Ricci this week. Logline: Billy kidnaps a young dancer, Layla, and asks her to pretend to be his wife so that he can please his parents. While Layla is initially hesitant, she falls in love with him.

We set out simply wanting to watch the original Alien movie - 5 weeks later we've burned through the whole saga and have reached the last one. Released in 2017 Alien: Covenant directed Ridley Scott is his final word in the Franchise starring Michael Fassbender, Katherine Waterston and Danny McBride. Logline: The crew of a colony ship, Covenant, receive a radio transmission from a habitable planet. However, they encounter deadly aliens while investigating the planet and try to escape.

After a month lost in deep space we have finally arrived where we wanted to be all along. This week we discuss Ridley Scott's return to the Alien franchise in his 2012 sci-fi epic "Prometheus" starring Noomi Rapace, Michael Fassbender, Charlize Theron, Logan Marshall-Green, Idris Elba and Guy Pearce. Logline: After a clue to mankind's origins is discovered, explorers are sent to the darkest corner of the universe. Their different expectations take a toll on them when they find something unimaginable.

Part four of our Alien series is here. We travel 200 years into the future and somehow end up close to future Paris in Jean-Pierre Jennet's 1997 instalment of the Alien saga - Alien: Ressurection. Logline: Ripley 8, a human-alien hybrid clone, is aboard a vessel, Auriga, along with space pirates. However, when aliens invade Auriga, Ripley does her best to prevent them from reaching and destroying Earth.

We've been to the pictures again! We embrace our full inner dads in Christopher Nolans 2023 historical drama/thriller "Oppenheimer" starring Cillian Murphy, Robert Downey Jr, Florence Pugh, Emiliy Blunt and Matt Damon. Logline: During World War II, Lt. Gen. Leslie Groves Jr. appoints physicist J. Robert Oppenheimer to work on the top-secret Manhattan Project. Oppenheimer and a team of scientists spend years developing and designing the atomic bomb. Their work comes to fruition on July 16, 1945, as they witness the world's first nuclear explosion, forever changing the course of history.

We embark on our first Fincher film of the podcast. Logline: Ellen Ripley's escape pod crash-lands on Fiorina 161, a penal colony planet terrorised by an alien. She rallies the inmates into killing it but realises that she is carrying an alien embryo herself.

We return to LV-426 in James Cameron's 1986 hit film "Aliens" Logline: Ellen Ripley is sent back to the planet LV-426 to establish contact with a terraforming colony. Once there, she encounters the Alien Queen and her offspring and has to fight them to survive.

Remember the leaked audio clip of Tom Cruise yelling at his crew for breaking protocol, while he is single handedly trying to save the film industry? Well, the saving grace has been released. Today we discuss Christopher McQuarrie's 2023 Mission: Impossible - Dead Reckoning Part One. Logline: Ethan Hunt and the IMF team must track down a terrifying new weapon that threatens all of humanity if it falls into the wrong hands. With control of the future and the fate of the world at stake, a deadly race around the globe begins. Confronted by a mysterious, all-powerful enemy, Ethan is forced to consider that nothing can matter more than the mission -- not even the lives of those he cares about most.

Final report of the commercial starship "Semi-Professionals"... Join us on an adventure on LV-426 as we pick apart Ridley Scotts 1979 sci fi masterpiece Alien. Logline: The crew of a spacecraft, Nostromo, intercept a distress signal from a planet and set out to investigate it. However, to their horror, they are attacked by an alien which later invades their ship.

Another classic “Matt’s reading the book" episode. Logline: In order to escape the prison labour, McMurphy, a prisoner, fakes insanity and is shifted to the special ward for the mentally unstable. In this ward, he must rise up against a cruel nurse, Ratched.

This week we try to figure out what happened one of 2022's highest anticipated movies, and why no one knows anyone who actually has seen it. We take a look at Paul Schrader's "The Card Counter" starring Oscar Isaac, Tye Sheridan, Tiffany Haddish and Willem Dafuckingfoe Logline: William Tell is a gambler and former serviceman who sets out to reform a young man seeking revenge on a mutual enemy from their past. Tell just wants to play cards. His spartan existence on the casino trail is shattered when he is approached by Cirk, a vulnerable and angry young man seeking help to execute his plan for revenge on a military colonel. Tell sees a chance at redemption through his relationship with Cirk.

There is an idea of a Podcast; some kind of abstraction. But there is no real us: only an entity, something illusory. And though we can hide our cold gaze, and you can shake our hand and feel flesh gripping yours and maybe you can even sense our lifestyles are probably comparable... We simply are not there. This week we tackle Mary Harron's interpretation of Bret Easton Ellis 1981 novel "American Psycho" starring Christian Bale, Willem Dafoe, Jared Leto, Chloë Sevigny, Justin Theroux and Reese Witherspoon. Logline: Patrick Bateman, a wealthy investment banker, hides his psychopathic ego from his friends. Later, his illogical fantasies escalate and he submits to an uncontrollable bloodlust.

Godfather Trilogy Part 3. Logline: When realisation strikes Micheal Corleone, he takes a tough call and decides to end his family's criminal empire. He chooses his nephew as his successor, however, the mob refuses to let him go.

Godfather Trilogy Part 2. Logline: Michael, Vito Corleone's son, attempts to expand his family's criminal empire. While he strikes a business deal with gangster Hyman Roth, he remains unaware of the lurking danger.

Get ready for a gut-punch of an episode, and join us as we pick apart David Fincher's 1999 thriller/drama Fight Club Logline: Unhappy with his capitalistic lifestyle, a white-collared insomniac forms an underground fight club with Tyler, a careless soap salesman. Soon, their venture spirals down into something sinister.

We travel 500 years back in time to Yucatan, Mexico where we watch heads roll down pyramid steps in Mel Gibson's 2008 action-adventure drama Apocalypto. Logline: Jaguar Paw, a young man, is captured by rulers of the Mayan kingdom. When they decide to sacrifice him, he makes a plan to escape death.

Strapped to our beds and with both legs hobbled, we this week talk about Rob Reiners 1990 thriller "Misery". Logline: A best-selling novelist is on his way home after completing his latest book when he meets with a car accident. He is rescued by an obsessed fan, only to discover that he is her prisoner.

HOOO-AAAAH! Today we revisit a classic dad flick. Ridley Scotts 2001 action drama "Black Hawk Down" Logline: Captain Mike Steele leads a team of nearly 100 US Army Rangers who travel to the capital city of Mogadishu to catch the top two lieutenants of a Somali warlord.

We are back for season 3 of The Semi-Professionals and we start things off with a banger! Today we travel to a different part of the world in Ansghar Farhadi's 2011 drama "A Separation" Logline: Nader and Simin, a married couple, live in Iran with their daughter Termeh. Simin wants to move out of the country, but Nader is reluctant to do so as he wants to take care of his ailing father.

Today we answer one central question: Is doing three 90s James Bond Movies in a row enough to end a podcast, and will we have any listeners left afterwards. Just Kidding! We have a banging episode for you today and even better we test our hosts knowledge on everything Pierce Brosnan at the end of the show in our classic trilogy Quiz. Today we discuss "The World Is Not Enough". Logline: James Bond is entrusted with the responsibility of protecting the daughter of an oil tycoon. While on his mission, he learns about an even more dangerous plot.

This week we discuss Roger Spottiswoode's 1997 take on a Bond Film in "Tomorrow Never Dies" starring the reason why we find ourselves watching these movies in the first place. Pierce bloody Brosnan himself! And others... Logline: James Bond, an undercover agent, sets out to prevent a media baron, Elliot Carver, from waging a war between China and the United Kingdom after he gets summoned by the Secret Intelligence Service.

The name is Bond, James Bond!  Today we pick apart apart Pierce Brosnan's first James Bond flick, which was released back in 1995 and directed by Martin Campbell. Logline: Agent 007, along with Natalia Simonav, travels to Russia to locate the satellite nuclear weapon stolen by Alec, a former agent, who Bond believed was dead.

Our second ever animated film review is DreamWorks' 2006 smash hit "Over The Hedge" directed by Tim Johnson and Karey Kirkpatrick. Logline: A scheming raccoon fools a mismatched family of forest creatures into helping him repay a debt of food, by invading the new suburban sprawl that popped up while they were hibernating...and learns a lesson about family himself.

This week we take a look at Tony Kaye's 1998 crime drama "American History X" starring Edward Norton and Edward Furlong. Logline: Derek, who has served three years in prison for a hate crime, tries to change the thoughts of his brother, Danny, who is following the same path.

Take a deep breath and join us as we dive into Jimmy Cameron’s latest hi-jinks. We waited 13 years, 3 hours and 12 minutes for this soaking wet epic. Did he make it worth our whale? Logline: Jake Sully and Ney'tiri have formed a family and are doing everything to stay together. However, they must leave their home and explore the regions of Pandora. When an ancient threat resurfaces, Jake must fight a difficult war against the humans.

In our second annual Chinese New Year episode we take a close look at the different versions of Jet Li's Fearless, or is it Jet Li is fearless, or is it simply Fearless? Who knows? We don't! Logline: After a terrible tragedy, a martial artist retreats to a remote village to gain a new appreciation for the important things in life, but when he returns to the city to reconcile his past with the present, he gets caught up in a duel to the death defending China's honor.

Today we discuss and pick apart Ridley Scott's 2005 historical epic "Kingdom of Heaven". Logline: In the twelfth century, blacksmith Balian travels to Jerusalem, a city seething with religious wars. He transforms into a defending warrior who saves the city and its people.

After a few wacky weeks on the pod we decide to dial it back a bit. Today we are taking a look at the complexity of life, age and love in Andrew Haigh's 45 Years. Logline: The preparation for the 45th wedding anniversary of an elderly couple is disrupted when the husband receives a letter saying that the body of his first love has been found frozen and preserved.

Today we travel in time.  Back to 2004 to be precise and to our first times watching the Butterfly Effect. things will never be the same! Logline: Evan gets severe headaches that cause him to suffer blackouts. While unconscious, he is able to travel back in time and alter the past but this causes drastic changes in his present life.

Ho Ho Ho Meeeerrrrrryyyy Christmas everyone! Last year Nick ruined the holidays by picking Krampus. WHAT A SHIT SHOW THAT WAS! This year we are looking to the top of any christmas movie list to make sure we don't repeat 2021s fiasco. We are watching THE Christmas Classic in Frank Capra's 1946 "It's a Wonderful Life". Logline: When a frustrated businessman, George Bailey, becomes suicidal, an angel from heaven, Clarence, is sent to him. To his change of heart, she shows him what life would have been without his existence.

It's almost Christmas everyone.  Today we sit down and discuss a movie set during Christmas but not necessarily widely considered a "Christmas Movie".  We are talking Paul and Chris Weitz's 2002 adaptation of Nick Hornby's novel "About A Boy". Logline: Will, who attends single parent meetings to woo women, meets Marcus, a troubled 12-year-old boy. As they become friends, Will learns to be responsible while he helps Marcus with his studies.

We sit court side to discuss Jeremiah Zagar's 2022 film Hustle.  No, not Hustlers and also not Hustle and Flow... just Hustle. Logline: A basketball scout discovers a phenomenal street ball player while in Spain and sees the prospect as his opportunity to get back into the NBA.

We made it to 50 episodes! Time to celebrate in true Semi-Professional fashion! Sit down with us and watch peak Will Smith in Alex Proyas's 2004 Sci-Fi/Action film I, Robot. Logline: In 2035, a technophobic cop investigates a crime that may have been perpetrated by a robot, which leads to a larger threat to humanity. Live watch begins at 00:12:30 

Today we discuss the third and final Star Wars movie in George Lucas's epic original trilogy. Return of the Jedi (1983) directed by Richard Marquand. Logline: After a daring mission to rescue Han Solo from Jabba the Hutt, the Rebels dispatch to Endor to destroy the second Death Star. Meanwhile, Luke struggles to help Darth Vader back from the dark side without falling into the Emperor's trap. Stay tuned for the end of trilogy Quiz where we test Luke's knowledge on his "favourite thing ever"

Its a cold day on hoth - as are most days really.  Mattbacca is in the workshop putting the final touches on the millenium falcon.  Luke takes his Tauntaun for a quick spin. Jack Solo thinks Leia really could use a good kiss. Nickbot considers trying on wigs or hats to hide his ever receding hairline.

“This is arguably the most important day in my life” - Luke “Moisture-farmer sounds a bit pervy” - Matt “I once saw Terminator Salvation blackout drunk at the Odeon. First row” - Jack “Crap! that was all wrong - sorry guys I take all of that back” - Nick

This week we open the fridge and take out a packet for thickly sliced Pacino ham. Be sure to tune in BABEEEE

045 - Pan’s Labyrinth - Out Now! This week we sit down and discuss Guillermo Deal Toro’s 2006 dark fantasy “El laberinto del fauno” (Pan’s Labyrinth) Logline: Ofelia moves with her mother to her stepfather's house. At night, a fairy leads her to a faun who informs her that she is a princess and she needs to participate in three tasks to prove her royalty.

For this years special halloween episode we take a close look at Hideo Nakata’s 1998 J-horror film “Ring”. Spread the show to at least one person if you don't want to die a slow and painfull death through your earholes ... jk lol xxx 7 days!

We finally find out where the famous tune come from. Wawawawaaaaa

Podcast hosts don’t do manual labour!

Week Two of classics month has us tangled up in a large scale family feud in far away Japan. 

Week Three of Matrix-chat has us a bit loopey. Stay tuned for the end of trilogy Quiz - can Matt hold his own?

You are the eventuality of an anomaly, which despite my sincerest efforts I have been unable to eliminate from what is otherwise a harmony of mathematical precision. While it remains a burden assiduously avoided, it is not unexpected, and thus not beyond a measure of control. Which has led you, inexorably, here. Ratings for Matrix Reloaded next week.