PODCAST · comedy
The Substantial Meal
by Collaborative Studios
There was a dark time in Irish history when having a drink in a pub with some friends required the additional purchase of a “substantial meal.” Countless nights of talking absolute nonsense were lost. To combat this, three friends decided to crank up their Windows XP-powered Dell computers and get drunk together online from the squalor of their own homes. Join two of Ireland’s funniest comedians, Justine Stafford and Martin Angolo, along with Ireland’s least-known actor Dermot Ward, as they enjoy a few drinks while tackling life’s big questions. Join our Patreon to support us and gain access to exclusive content at www.patreon.com/thesubstantialmeal
Episodes
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The 50th Episode
This week, it’s the 50th episode of The Substantial Meal
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Ep 49 - Pub Quiz
This week on the show, Justine, Martin, and Dermot invite you to join them for the inaugural Substantial Meal Pub Quiz! Get your pens and papers ready! The picture round is going to be tricky...
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Ep 48 - Ghosted
This week, Dermot goes fishing, Martin is a good boy, and Justine is chill. She’s CHILL, okay?!
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Ep 47 - Squats
On the show this week, Justine, Martin, and Dermot attempt to find… okay, if you’re still reading this, here’s the plan this week: take a selfie with an animal, post it to your socials, tag The Substantial Meal, and use the caption “Bond. Jimmy Bond.”
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Ep 46 - Sexy Priest Calendar
Does anyone actually read these things? If so, prove it by taking a selfie while listening to the podcast, post it to your social media with the caption "I CAN READ!", and tag the Substantial Meal. Let's see who's paying attention.
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Ep 45- 14 Apples a Day
An apple a day keeps the doctor away. 14 apples a day absolutely will not.
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Ep 44 - You’re Welcome
Join Justine, Martin, and Dermot this week, as problems are solved and cliffhangers are resolved
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Ep 43 - Two Frubes and a Babybel
On the show this week, Justine, Martin, and Dermot discuss big hammers, fortune tellers, and romantic soups.
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Ep 42 - Mother in the Press
On the show this week, Justine, Martin, and Dermot have choices to make: fame... or fortune? Murder... or death? Clammy hands... or farts?
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Ep 41 - Pong
After a short break, we’re back with a video game-themed episode, where Justine wants you to wear socks, Martin wants you to cover your thigh tattoos, and Dermot would like to show you his Tetris. It’s good to be back.
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Ep 40 - Bouncy Castle Shortage
This week, Martin gets some acting tips from Justine (Girl Who Downs A Pint in Poster Boys) and Dermot (the guard in Deadly Cuts)
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Ep 39 - Arse Attack
This week, Martin, Justine, and Dermot answer three important questions: Did James Bond ride his sister in law? Did Pat Kenny ride an elephant? And which one of them is riding Banksy?
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Ep 38 - The Substantial Real
On an introspective edition of the show, Justine, Dermot, and Martin face up to their feelings of struggle, insecurity, and self-doubt in the world of showbiz. Well, two of them do. One of them's doing grand, thanks.
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Ep 37 - Go for the Juggler
This week on the show, Justine, Martin, and Dermot confront their fears, as they delve into the world of phobias and investigate the psychological ramifications of- oh who are we kidding, they go completely off topic and end up talking about sperm banks or some shite. Enjoy!
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Ep 36 - A Lotta Lube and a Werther’s Original
This would usually be where we give a vague description of what you can expect from the episode. But as you'll hear, we're mixing things up this week. So instead, here's the opening paragraph from the Wikipedia page for The Lyrics Board: The Lyrics Board was an Irish game show hosted by Aonghus...
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Ep 35 - Ladder to Mars
This week, Dermot is tiring, Justine is inspiring, and Martin is firing on all cylinders as they prove they have their fingers on the pulse by covering topical news from two weeks ago, and decide which billionaire they want to ride
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Ep 34 - Sad But Dry
On this week's episode, we preview festival season, and Martin has a big (and/or small) surprise for Justine and Dermot...
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Ep 33 - One Last Hurrah for the Elderly
On the show this week, Justine, Martin, and Dermot once again try to focus on the subject of health, but things take a turn for the wurst
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Ep 32 - Abattoir Feet
On what was supposed to be a health-focused edition of the show this week, Justine, Martin, and Dermot instead lose their minds talking about wrestling for the entire episode. We hope you enjoy it as much as they clearly did.
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Ep 31 - Black Beans, Both Ends
This week on the show, Martin regales Justine and Dermot with tales from his America trip, including gifts from listeners, horrific food poisoning, and lots of bean talk.
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Ep 30 - April Fools
This week's episode is all about April Fool's Day! Or is it? But it is. But what if it's not! Because it isn't. But really it is! However that could be an April Fool's? But it isn't. Because it is. We're very high...
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Ep 29 - And the Oscar Goes to...
This week on the show, Justine, Martin, and Dermot are off to the Oscars! By which we mean they're just talking about the nominated films and performances, having seen maybe four of them? Grab some popcorn and a beverage
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Ep 28 - Paddy’s Day
On the show this week… Guess
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Ep 27 - Snoop Dogg’s Trouser Situation
On the first ever transatlantic episode of The Substantial Meal, Martin (in America) zooms in with Dermot and Justine (in Ireland) to discuss amorous comedy fans, Dublin Comic-Con, and which Irish media personality would make the best Horror Movie villain
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Ep 26 - (What’s the Story) Morning After Glory
On the show this week, Dermot opens the Listener Mailbag, Martin reveals his bathroom habits, and Justine presents a TedTalk on breakfast cereals
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Ep 25 - Taxes with the Stars
On the show this week, it's a Ride/Finger/Bog special as Martin, Justine, and Dermot prepare to take over Hollywood
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Ep 24 - External Meatus
This week on your favourite guilty pleasure, Justine takes apart the Tinder Swindler, Dermot tries (and fails) to not curse, and it's time for another edition of Martin Angolo's Which is Longer
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Ep 23 - Teddy
Love is in the air on the show this week, as Justine reminisces about her first kiss; Dermot tries to think of a 5-letter word for pathetic loser; and Martin has some tips for Valentine’s Day xoxo
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Ep 22 - Wookiee Grunt
On the show this week, Justine reveals her acting ambitions; Martin is sick of everyone's faces; and Dermot is totally fine about an encounter he had almost 20 years ago.
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Ep 21 - Grease Her Up!
On this week's super(hero) episode, Dermot is a lonely nerd, Martin runs the rule over Philip Schofield's journalistic integrity, and Justine considers entering the Rose of Tralee
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Ep 20 - Briefcase of Sorrow
On another (but hopefully final!) remotely-recorded episode, Justine, Martin, and Dermot dish out some more helpful advice to listeners; suggest the best cures for the January Blues; and inadvertently concoct a smash-hit country song
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Ep 19 - Started from the Bottom, Now We’re Back
This week on a remotely-recorded episode, Dermot is depressed, Justine reveals her wrestling crushes, and Martin has some exciting news about everyone's favourite member of Simon & Garfunkel who isn't named Paul
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Ep 18 - Tampon Tomfoolery
On the first episode of 2022, Dermot wants to make some personal changes, Martin has his first wedding experience, and Justine absolutely loses her mind. It's gonna be a long year.
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Ep 17 - There's Nothing Wrong with Dogging
This week on the show, Justine, Martin, and Dermot are swapping dating tips, nuts are placed on a table, and - in a brand new segment - the gang attempt to help YOU with your problems. You're welcome.
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Ep 16 - A Very Substantial Christmas
On the first ever Christmas edition of The Substantial Meal, Justine updates us on her ear canal drama, Dermot makes hot whiskeys, and Martin whips out his cucumber. God bless us, every one!
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Ep 15 - Stringfellow’s Last Words
This week, Martin, Justine, and Dermot decide to throw an elaborate dinner party, featuring Subway sandwiches, god-awful celebrity impressions, and even worse advice about ear canal blockages.
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Ep 14 - It’s Hard to Get Purchase
On the menu for this episode: Justine, Martin, and Dermot plan their next live show; can you guess the Word of the Week?; and the gang are joined in the studio by special guest, Mike Tyson*.
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Ep 13 - Can You Libel Yourself?
Hope you’re hungry, because The Substantial Meal is BACK! Gorge yourself on Martin Angolo, Justine Stafford, and Dermot Ward, as they discuss the difference between a season and a series, whether a Jaffa Cake is a cake or not, and the best time to use a gift card.
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Ep 12 - Really Good Episode Title
On the season finale, Justine, Martin, and Dermot display their previously unheard musical abilities; discuss what makes a good podcast host; and then round things off with the nation's favourite, Ride/Finger/Bog See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
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Ep 11 - Death by Bueno
On the penultimate episode of the season, Angolo, Stafford, and Ward discuss ouija boards; where the nearest active volcanos are located; and who has been the biggest Prick of the Pandemic See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
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Ep 10 - The Oilman Cometh
This week, Martin, Justine, and Dermot lay out their plans for making the world a better place.God help us all… See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
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Ep 9 - Justine Bieber and the Sixteenth Chapel
On a music-themed episode, the gang are ALL IN THE SAME ROOM as they discuss whether Wonderwall or Baby Shark is more annoying; how they'd use a life-changing amount of money; and one of Justine's former bandmates features in another edition of Ride/Finger/Bog. See acast.com/privacy for privacy…
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Ep 8 - The Queen Eats Swans
This week on a food-themed episode of the show, Dermot, Martin and Justine discuss stealing swans, scratching thrush and scratch cards and debate what is the best death row meal. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
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Ep 7 - There’s No Fish in Luxembourg
This week on a sports-themed episode of The Substantial Meal, Dermot, Martin, and Justine discuss - among other things - cinema etiquette, the worst ideas for a first date, and European Union Fishing Quotas. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
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Ep 6 - You Should Never Respect an Actor
This week, a pint of Margarita is essential as Justine, Martin, and Dermot decide which person from the world of film and TV would be the best to have a pint with. We also learn about the first Irish film ever made, the best place to staycation in Ireland, and how many holes various things have....
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Ep 5 - I Showed The President My Freezer
On this week’s show, Martin, Dermot, and Justine investigate the infinite ramifications of time-travel, reassess their relationship with alcohol, and it's the return of Ride/Finger/Bog with three of Ireland's most-beloved national treasures See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
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Ep 4 - Paolo Nutini and the Bouncy-Castle Killer
This week on the show, Justine, Martin, and Dermot answer the age old question: “What’s worse: People or Murder Hornets?” See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
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Ep 3 - Lock Up Your Dogs
This week, Justine, Martin, and Dermot take a trip down memory lane, as they reveal tales from their school days, who their first celebrity crushes were, and why none of them should ever be allowed to own pets See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
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Ep 2 - Cash for Dutch Gold
On the show this week, Martin, Justine, and Dermot discuss the difference between a pub and a bar, come up with a new gameshow format, and ask “What’s scarier? Ghosts or milkshakes?” See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
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Ep 1 - Joe Dolan Conquers America
In their 2nd attempt at an opening episode Dermot, Justine, and Martin discuss how men should cope with receding hairlines, the power of garlic dip, and they decide who the biggest prick in America is. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
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ABOUT THIS SHOW
There was a dark time in Irish history when having a drink in a pub with some friends required the additional purchase of a “substantial meal.”
Countless nights of talking absolute nonsense were lost.
To combat this, three friends decided to crank up their Windows XP-powered Dell computers and get drunk together online from the squalor of their own homes.
Join two of Ireland’s funniest comedians, Justine Stafford and Martin Angolo, along with Ireland’s least-known actor Dermot Ward, as they enjoy a few drinks while tackling life’s big questions.
Join our Patreon to support us and gain access to exclusive content at www.patreon.com/thesubstantialmeal
HOSTED BY
Collaborative Studios
CATEGORIES
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Frequently Asked Questions
How many episodes does The Substantial Meal have?
The Substantial Meal currently has 50 episodes available on PodParley. New episodes are automatically indexed when they're published to the podcast feed.
What is The Substantial Meal about?
There was a dark time in Irish history when having a drink in a pub with some friends required the additional purchase of a “substantial meal.” Countless nights of talking absolute nonsense were lost. To combat this, three friends decided to crank up their Windows XP-powered Dell computers and get...
How often does The Substantial Meal release new episodes?
The Substantial Meal has 50 episodes. Check the episode list to see recent publication dates and frequency.
Where can I listen to The Substantial Meal?
You can listen to The Substantial Meal on PodParley by clicking any episode. We provide an embedded audio player for direct listening, and you can also subscribe via your preferred podcast app using the RSS feed.
Who hosts The Substantial Meal?
The Substantial Meal is created and hosted by Collaborative Studios.
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