PODCAST · education
The Titan
by The Titan
Weekday Tesoro High School public updates for parents (and students). Website, all-school email, flyers. PG-13. About 7 minutes. No student-specific records.
Episodes
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Coronations and Collection Plates
Instant episode. The Girls Volleyball squad executed Capo Valley in straight sets for the league title on senior night while hoops asks for money. You better wear class colors on Friday and do not put HOCO blunders into the yearbook DMs.
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Bounced at the Pep Rally
Instant episode. The front office finally banned parents from crowding school day pep rallies due to bleacher space, making an otherwise hated Monday milestone the hottest exclusive ticket around.
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Screen Time Traps and Neon Magenta Extravaganzas
Instant episode. The school board's four-month crusade to battle screen time requires everyone to constantly monitor their email screens just to RSVP for sudden meetings. Heat schedules close for a wild Friday clash stacked full of chaotic cheerleaders and MS trumpets across seven PM Pink Out...
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Fan Fiction for Carrots
Instant episode. Tesoro's volleyball team closed their road schedule in absolutely brutal fashion with a historic sweep over Mission Viejo. Meanwhile, Capo Food immediately rolled from an upgraded ranch announcement into actively strong-arming teens for original creative-writing salad fan-fiction.
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Heatstroke, Extortion, and Extra Thick Ranch
Instant episode. Tuesday ushers in the extended CUSD heat wave and PSAT extension fees while an entirely unrepentant water polo team opens their concession doors straight into the dismissal lines, hoping parents are hot enough to bribe their own teens just for standing still. Oh, plus the seniors...
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Trapped in the Titam
Instant episode. This week's schedule creates a new "Saturday, October fifth", tells everyone who dropped a class to hustle an old textbook to the library while sweating through the heat advisory window, and reminds you to fork out those P-S-A-T and Homecoming fees—forty dollars today or suffer…
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Code Magenta in the Suburban Blast Furnace
Instant episode. The CUSD just dumped a code-Magenta five-color heat warning alert on the county starting October second through next Friday, while making exactly zero moves to cancel the daily school schedule. Drop form deadlines require signatures from teacher, parent, and kid handed directly...
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Holding A Real Human Brain at UCI Tonight
Instant episode. Drop forms require all three signatures by 1pm Friday before schedules lock, while Driver's Ed digital modules begin starting today, UCI lets teenagers explore a real human brain display fair tonight before a CUSD college layout event hits San Juan Hills holding forth this full...
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Late Fees and Three-Signature Drop Forms
Instant episode. If you don't secure Driver's Education digital forms and cough up the extra thirty-dollar SAT late fee by Monday, your kid fails their very basic schedules next spring. Homecoming walk-ups surge fifty hard dollars at precisely exact door values without clear behavior checks this...
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Thirty Minutes to Save The Transcript
Instant episode. The last Fall Club Rush scramble finishes a brief thirty-minute span today, giving your kid their last shot at clubs until next year. Meanwhile, Varsity girls tennis splits an away dual with Aliso Niguel at three, boys water polo takes over the school pool from four to seven P-M,...
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The Great Green Curb Shakedown
Instant episode. The late-September district traps are locking in, featuring S-A-T test shakedowns, online browser drivers ed, state-mandated clearance slides for selling concessions, and an extortionary one-hundred-and-twenty-dollar Homecoming door price with an explicit Behavior Contract clause.
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Trading Cards, Surcharges, and The Illusion of Ambition
Instant episode. The September SAT School Day registration hit parents with a $30 late penalty starting today. The first day of the Tesoro Club Rush pavilion kicks off three consecutive luncheons of pretend-leadership signup scrambles, while South Orange County gets hit by an absolute barrage of...
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The Sincerity Surcharge and the Academic Walk of Shame
Instant episode. The seventy-dollar SAT registration deadline lands today, climbing up an extra thirty-buck fee tomorrow for simple human delay. At noon Tuesday, students sprint through fake Club Rush tables gathering clubs they'll swiftly never visit again just to bulk basic applications, as...
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Ego, The I E, and An Empty Fuel Tank
Instant episode. The pride of witnessing your Instagram academic elite gives you about seven solid seconds until getting back entirely realizing you must traverse to the Inland Empire traffic trying keeping off Friday varsity level chaos holding down until early Saturday surf waves up at sun down...
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Fruit Punch Homeland Security
Instant episode. The school tracks minor paper cups for ASB harder than the unlicensed dirt bikes zooming past it. Get prepared to pay over a hundred dollars strictly alone avoiding bringing a friend down into your gated October parking pad block party for safety purposes essentially exactly.
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Two Million Dollars for a Plastic Cup
Instant episode. The Titan schedule squeezes Tuesday pickups between local water polo and an aggravating drive to Capistrano Valley flag football. Plus, ASB clamps down with a hilarious and unyielding zero-replacement rule for plastic cups during Wednesday's promotion, right as the senior-launch...
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Hostages with Premium Paint Jobs
Instant episode. This week sets block schedules around daily three fifteen pick-ups, with dropping out of Honors requiring a brutal three-signature sign off. SAT prices scale directly with parental procrastination, Homecoming extortion maxes at one hundred and twenty dollars at the physical door,...
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Back to Reality
Instant episode. Prepare your cardio system for exactly six fifteen this evening when Back to School Night mandates parents follow the brutal five-minute passing cycle until essentially sundown at completely near roughly accurately purely almost distinctly fully plainly eight PM flat explicitly....
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Minivan Logistics and the Ap Escape Hatch
Instant episode. The Tuesday Tesoro athletic slate demands parents chauffeur students simultaneously across South OC while the Back to School Night gears up for tomorrow, Wednesday at 5:00 PM. But Friday the 11th hides the biggest escape trick yet: hand in course level-down drops at the…
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Back to School Sprints and Advanced Surron Calculus
Instant episode. The Monday Labor Day reprieve is completely masking this week's five separate bell schedules culminating into a fast twelve-fifty P-M minimum dismissal this coming Friday. You'll run up the bleacher halls ten straight minutes each class, Back-to-school Wednesday night style, try…
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Home Is Where You Rent It
Instant episode. The football team claims an 'epic home game' inside Aliso Niguel's living room at 7:00 PM while dressing up entirely like a bush; don't forget the ASB pre-order store and early-bird HOCO tickets slam definitively shut today unless you want inflation penalty rates. Oh, and plan...
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Varsity Improv and the Five-Minute Passing Bell Sprint
Instant episode. The Thursday, September third bell rings from eight-thirty A-M to three-fifteen P-M before the upcoming week brings structured madness. Prepare for Back to School Night on September ninth, featuring a ridiculous gauntlet of ten-minute speed-dates with teachers and breathless...
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Imported Extortion and Invisible Away Games
Instant episode. The absolute last chance for an I-D photo goes dead somewhere between two o'clock and two-thirty. Text Uncle Phil to sponsor Color Guard from his local Panda express through the app online—then hurry up buying those discounted HOCO tickets before this weekend punishes your wallet.
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Middle Management in Lululemon
Instant episode. Tuesday reveals the absurdity of the suburban hustle, dropping everything from online club corporate applications due Sept 10 to Comedy Sportz and Mock Trial tryouts, while warning everyone not to flub Wednesday's last-chance make-up ID pictures in 708.
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Paper Defectors and the Zero-Notice Schedule Drop
Instant episode. Administration randomly reshuffled schedules, leaving campus early requires an old-school paper pass, and buying procrastination ticket fees makes Homecoming doors cost a staggering 120 bucks on Halloween eve schedules.
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Free Pizza and Half-Nelsons
Instant episode. The administrative trap swings wide open today with free wrestling pizza from 3:30 to 5:00 P-M at the new facility meet and greet (say hi to a decade of coaching clinics and fall booster Saturdays). Plus, prepare your face for Wednesday's permanent NO RETAKE picture day disaster...
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Corporate Babysitting and the Russian Hackers
Instant episode. The school IT department treats the grades portal like the nuclear launch codes, the Honor Society sets up an unpaid labor scheme, and for a cool hundred dollars, varsity cheerleaders will take your child off your hands this October.
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Pattern One-Six-T-L and the Plastic Cup Fiasco
Instant episode. Tesoro has introduced military protocol with "Pattern One-Six-T-L" schedule starting first thing Monday, alongside demanding formal school I-Ds just to claim free leftover stadium cups. Complete that e-bike parking registration by this Friday, and definitely book homecoming…
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Unregistered Dirt Bikes and One Hundred Twenty Dollar Door Covers
Instant episode. By Friday the twenty-eighth, you need a bicycle permit for your un-plated suburban E-bike and by September fourth you must cough up funds for a strictly non-refundable A-S-B Spirit pack. Prom is mapped exactly to May eleventh twenty twenty-seven, homecoming spikes to one hundred...
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ABOUT THIS SHOW
Weekday Tesoro High School public updates for parents (and students). Website, all-school email, flyers. PG-13. About 7 minutes. No student-specific records.
HOSTED BY
The Titan
CATEGORIES
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Frequently Asked Questions
How many episodes does The Titan have?
The Titan currently has 29 episodes available on PodParley. New episodes are automatically indexed when they're published to the podcast feed.
What is The Titan about?
Weekday Tesoro High School public updates for parents (and students). Website, all-school email, flyers. PG-13. About 7 minutes. No student-specific records.
How often does The Titan release new episodes?
The Titan has 29 episodes. Check the episode list to see recent publication dates and frequency.
Where can I listen to The Titan?
You can listen to The Titan on PodParley by clicking any episode. We provide an embedded audio player for direct listening, and you can also subscribe via your preferred podcast app using the RSS feed.
Who hosts The Titan?
The Titan is created and hosted by The Titan.
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