The Tom and Jack Podcast
by Tom & Jack
Hello! Here's a summary of what we do.In the style of classic entertainment radio show, out of work radio hosts Tom & Jack broadcast from Tom's basement. They discuss the weird and wonderful happenings of their mundane lives. They were born into a world they don't understand and doesn't understand them. They're lashing out. Whether it be successfully applying for the Apprentice or setting up a new gym where bigger boys aren't allowed, it's never dull (apart from all the time when it, lamentably, is).
Episodes
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The 6 Pods of Christmas: Day6
COVID, blah blah blah, can't do a podcasts like normal. A podcast a day leading up to Christmas (not twelve 'cause Jack's busy even though we're in Tier 4). Enjoy some festive ramblings. We used to make good stuff. See below (also lots of well made podcast episodes previously): Look at all the...
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The 6 Pods of Christmas: Day5
COVID, blah blah blah, can't do a podcasts like normal. A podcast a day leading up to Christmas (not twelve 'cause Jack's busy even though we're in Tier 4). Enjoy some festive ramblings. We used to make good stuff. See below (also lots of well made podcast episodes previously): Look at all the...
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The 6 Pods of Christmas: Day4
COVID, blah blah blah, can't do a podcasts like normal. A podcast a day leading up to Christmas (not twelve 'cause Jack's busy even though we're in Tier 4). Enjoy some festive ramblings. We used to make good stuff. See below (also lots of well made podcast episodes previously): Look at all the...
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The 6 Pods of Christmas: Day3 Woah, Nelly! The Christmas Special
COVID, blah blah blah, can't do a podcasts like normal. A podcast a day leading up to and after Christmas (not twelve 'cause Jack's busy even though we're in Tier 4). Here is the ORIGINAL xmas special. Enjoy In a festive podcast Tom and Jack discuss Christmas, staff Christmas parties and the date...
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The 6 Pods of Christmas: Day2
COVID, blah blah blah, can't do a podcasts like normal. A podcast a day leading up to Christmas (not twelve 'cause Jack's busy even though we're in Tier 4). Enjoy some festive ramblings. We used to make good stuff. See below (also lots of well made podcast episodes previously): Look at all the...
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The 6 Pods of Christmas: Day1
COVID, blah blah blah, can't do a podcasts like normal. A podcast a day leading up to Christmas (not twelve 'cause Jack's busy even though we're in Tier 4). Enjoy some festive ramblings. We used to make good stuff. See below (also lots of well made podcast episodes previously): Look at all the...
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BONUS: The Lord of the Rings: Waiting for Frodo
This was an odd one. Another lockdown. We thought we'd watch Ralph Bakshi's animated version of the Lord of the Rings fro 1978. Originally this was going to be an episodic, filmed endeavour but as you will hear it went appalling. It went so badly that it actually has some value in being laughed…
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If You Put a Danny Dyer Into a Pot of Boiling Water
(You lied to me) all these pains you said I'd never feel. (You lied to me) but I do, but I do, do, do. Return of the Tom & Jack, come on. Hello again. In these strange and unprecedenzzzzzzzzzzzz. We're back. It's amazing what can happen in [check time since we last podcasted]. Here we discuss…
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FROM THE ARCHIVE: Holidaze
An episode deep from the archives. Tom is on holiday and Jack has bought himself a shack. No podcast for a week so fill your boots with some classic Radio Bicester ramblings. Jack is going on holiday to Venice and Tom feels duty bound to warn him how bad it is. Tom has also nailed another smoking...
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FROM THE ARCHIVE: We Also Do Haircuts
Since Jack's got married he's acting like Kerry Katona did to the rest of Atomic Kitten after she met Brian McFadden. As such there's no new podcast. Joking of course! But he is being annoying and we should be back very soon. In the meantime, why not see how far we've come? Here are some weak...
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FROM THE ARCHIVE: A Right Good Bath
Jack's still being selfish and having a wedding. And we're going scouting for his stag do and, unfortunately, he's making it all about himself. Selfish. Here's some old toot we found down the back of the sofa. An episode deep from the archives. Honestly, don't really know what was going on here.…
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FROM THE ARCHIVE: V-Day Landings
Hello. We're still alive but Jack's stag do, Jack's wedding and endless other selfish endeavours are keeping us busy. Plus nothing has happened to either of us for sometime. Luckily we've been plugging away at this for years. As it's nearly Jack's wedding here's an episode when he was sad, lonely...
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FROM THE ARCHIVE: Spiritual Healing
An episode deep from the archives. I can't really remember if we were drunk or something on this. Strange one. Anyway, there's Jack's Auction and psychic chat. Never mind. Also Jack's live mixing is something else. Odd. Originally broadcast 20/03/2017. Here's a film we made WATCH JACK BECOME A…
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BONUS: Like a Randy Alley Cat
Testing, testing. ***AUDIO QUALITY WILL VARY*** This week we talk about COVID and that. And IKEA. And Godzilla. And how kids shouldn't have free school meals 'cause they shouldn't deserve them. And why statues are better than social justice. Listen, download, etc. Originally broadcast 28/06/2020....
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FROM THE ARCHIVE: Spa Wars
An episode deep from the archives. Tom is on holiday and Jack has bought himself a shack. No podcast for a week so fill your boots with some classic Radio Bicester ramblings. Unfortunately Jack is ill. It's too early to celebrate and we may well be back soon. In this episode Jack goes to the spa....
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BONUS: It's a Boy Now Go Back to Bed
Testing, testing. ***AUDIO QUALITY WILL VARY*** This week we discuss the ongoing lockdown, VE day and conspiracies. What Annoyed Us was spelling and fearing people are dead. Plus we look at the most ludicrous birthday message ever committed to code on Vloggers Gone Wild. I don't even understand...
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BONUS: I've Tried Being Nice, I've Tried Being Not Nice
Testing, testing. ***AUDIO QUALITY WILL VARY*** This week What Annoyed Us was affairs with postmen and noisy, lonely neighbours. WE celebrate shoplifting falling and investigate Richie Rich. Plus there are existential laments aplenty. Please let this all end. originally broadcast 25/04/2020.…
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BONUS: The 5G Conspiracy
Testing, testing. ***AUDIO QUALITY WILL VARY*** This week we discuss Jack's gammy foot and his tragic birthday. There's talk of Mum's secret ham and good butter. The things that Annoyed Us This Week are lawns and loud phone speakers. Plus there's much debate on whether Eamon Holmes is Y'Alright…
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BONUS: I'll Just Die of Loneliness Anyway
Testing, testing. ***AUDIO QUALITY WILL VARY*** Two households, both alike in dignity, In fair CORONA, where we lay our scene. This is a podcast that was recorded across the internet. Here's our experiences of lockdown. Hopefully you enjoy it. Some of it. A bit of it. It'll silence your thoughts...
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I Need This
He said, "Will you defeat them? Your demons? And all the non-believers? The plans that they have made? Because one day, I'll leave you. A phantom to lead you in the summer, to join the Tom & Jack parade." This week we, somehow, cover colonoscopies, Desert Island Disks and the Catholic Church....
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It'll Hop Straight Out Back to Its Lilypad
My fist is balled Tom & Jack up against the wall, pencil drawn. This is just the song to go ballistic on, you just pulled a pistol on the guy with the missile launcher. I'm just a Loch Ness, the mythological. This week's podcast covers LinkedIn, work, Pop-up-Pirate (It's a Barrel of Fun),...
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People Don't Like Me Anyway
You waited this long to stop debating, 'cause I'm Tom & Jack, I'm on the rag and ovulating. I know you got a job Ms. Cheney but your husband's heart problem is complicating. The Tom & Jack Podcast - brand new for 2020! This week there's debate over the new British army advert, advice on dealing...
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The Christmas Special IV: Nothing's Right Eat Quorn
And so this is Christmas for weak and for strong, (war is over if you want it) for the rich and the poor ones, the road is so long (war is over now). And so happy Christmas for Tom & Jack and for whites (war is over if you want it). Hello. It's the most wonderful time of the year. There are…
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Jack in the Porn
All Is Porn - The words of the Preacher, the son of David, king in Jerusalem. Porn of porns, says the Preacher, porn of pornities! All is. This will forever be remembered as the episode where Jack realised - to his cost - he had become a pornstar. There's also lugubrious chat and sniping aplenty....
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BONUS: KSI vs Logan Paul 2: This Time It's Worth Even More Money
For the fight of the year two boxing obsessives come together to give you the commentary you deserve. Insider gossip, behind the scenes action and debates which cut to the very core of the boxing. Also taking in such classic boxing topics as Frank Oz's limited range, Mark Wahlberg and PE…
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Tranquillised Barry White
We've suffered the breaks. You know I still remember it, it keeps burning away, I know that you may take a while to come Tom & Jack around. This week features Star Trek, Budapest, our own biopics and a mistaken identity KSI-case. What Annoyed Us? Thanks for asking - well, racist royals, escape...
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Repatriation: a Thomas Cook Story
I sit Tom & Jack with this pack of Zig-Zag's and this bag of this weed, it gives me the s**t needed to be, the most meanest MC on this—on this Earth. This week there's tales from the front of being involved in the biggest repatriation since Dunkirk. Lions led by donkeys. Here's a Thing What…
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I've Got No More Masculate to Im
While my mother waters plants, my father loads his gun. He says death will give us Tom & Jack to god, just like the setting sun, its return to the lonesome ocean. This week the Things What Have Annoyed Us are a homeless Inspector Gadget coat, Willy Wonka and dogging. In Reality Bustin' we plan to...
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What Would You Like Me to Do?
He was a skater boy, she said, "see you later, boy", he wasn't good enough for her. She had a pretty face but her head was up in space, she needed to come Tom & Jack down to Earth. This week that was there's chat about scouts (again), holiday biscuits and how chocolate bars can help you identify...
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With Our Glass-Eyed Mannequins
Oh, what a night. Late December Tom & Jack in '63. What a very special time for me, as I remember, what a night. This week there's talk of degrees, plastic and the new wave of satire being surfed. Things what annoyed us this week included haircuts, wasps, aftershave, appalling train services and...
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No.6 Collaborations Project Album Review: A Freelance Arkela
I never heard Carrickfergus ever sang so sweet, acapella in the bar using her feet for a beat, I could have that voice playing on repeat for a week and in this Tom & Jacked out room swear she was singing to me. This week we review the superb new album Collobrations Project No. 6 by Ed Sheeran...
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As the Parking Had Run Out
I had to find the passage Tom & Jack to the place I was before, relax said the night man, we are programmed to receive. You can check out any time you like but you can never leave. This week there's Rory Stewart, appalling local radio jingles and dead neighbours. Things What Annoyed Us This Week…
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The Weaklings
And did you think this fool could never win, well look at me, I'm coming Tom & Jack again. I got a taste of love in a simple way and if you need to know while I'm still standing you just fade away. It's finally here. Your chance to to invest in world-changing company Soft Lad Gyms. What has been...
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That is Pathetic
Talking bout home but we can't go Tom and Jack, I guess that's why we left, so we could take a step, keep moving and forget the rest. This week there's Here's a Thing what Annoyed Me This Week about internet abuse and unwanted gifts. There's also Jack's App Thing... with a lie detector test. PLUS...
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And That is a Euphemism
When some deny it, defy if I swing bolos, then they clear the lane I go solo, the meaning of all of that, some media is the Tom & Jack, as your believe it's true, it blows me through the roof. Suckers. This week there's basketball assaults and relationship advice from the newly engaged-to-be-wed...
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I Had a Disgusting Meal and It's Ruined My Marriage
Snoop Doggy Dogg and Dr. Dre is at the door, ready to make an entrance, so Tom & Jack on up ('cause you know about to rip s**t up). What's wrong with the audio? Good question, thanks for asking. Jack did something wrong. This week sees Annoyed Us topics cat excrement, political correctness and...
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Pickpocketed His Sanity
Tell me is the Tom & Jack of the pool balls, neon buzzin'? Telephone's ringin', it's your second cousin. After a looong illness ridden sabbatical Tom & Jack. Jack's in a place called vertigo with his overstated sickness and Tom is just fine, thanks for asking. Things that have annoyed us include...
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We Could See People Using the Urinals
Cornered the boy, kicked out at the world .The world kicked Tom & Jack a lot effing harder now. If you wanna try, if you wanna try. There's no worse you could do. Uh oh oh. This week sees the long awaited return of TripAdvisor based feature A Spoonful of Weather. Plus there's far ranging chat…
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Does He Need Any Tips?
Talk behind my Tom & Jack but to my face they say nothing. Stand up in the dance, keep a firm steady stance. Keep the beanies touching, keep the beanies hot flushing. This week internet dating, computer troubles and shower calls. What Annoyed Us was 1 star reviews, scrumpy urine and anti-vegan...
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Don't Do a MOMO
And after about ten dear minutes, he was Tom & Jack in the game.Thought he was done man, thought he was finished, but he's Tom & Jack up again. Hello! This week there's bull masteefs, raw chicken and a heartfelt apology of behalf of Tom's uncle Jim Ratcliffe, the UK's richest man. This week...
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The Apprentice
Dreams don't last forever. Why you wanna fix me? See, if the police don't take it. God forsake it, I can't take it, why you stab me in the Tom & Jack? Hello! Two new features this week: Reality Busters and What's Wrong with You Tom/Jack/Both of You? There's also old favourite Here's a Thing What...
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Some Things Don't Wash Away
I'm I'm Tom & Jack in your face like I've never been away, I'm Tom & Jack in your face and it's where I'm gonna stay. This week there's Here's a Thing What Annoyed Us This combined with You Must Be Drunk into one mega-feature. Rejoice as we take pops at Saxon toilet products and the National...
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I Do Have a Friend Who is Just a Pair of Legs
And I told about equality and it's true either you're wrong or you're right. But, if you're thinkin' 'bout my baby it don't matter if you're Tom & Jack or white. This week there is 2019's first instalment of Vloggers Gone Wild. It's a double header with ACE Family's lollipops and RiceGum's…
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Ed Sheeran II
I've been watching you walk, I've been learning the way that you talk. The Tom & Jack of your head is at the front of my mind; soon I'll crack it open just to see what's inside your mind. Hello! It's back for 2019 due to unpopular demand. This week we kick off discussing New Year, New Year's...
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The Very, Very Best of the Tom & Jack Podcast (from 2018)
Hello. And what a year it's been that it just was. So many memories, so many crass, ill-thought out mutterings on this podcast. Why not listen to some of our favourite bits (from the old episodes we could be bothered to listen to). And an auld lang syne to all. Here's the pitch video for Soft Lad...
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The Christmas Special III: Drowning in a Ball Pit
Those Christmas lights, light up the street. Maybe they'll bring her Tom & Jack to me. Then all my troubles will be gone, oh Christmas lights keep shining on. It's Christmas time, there's no need to be afraid. This week there's a Christmassy Here's a Thing What Annoyed Us This Week and the...
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My Milking a Cow Blindfolded Badge
If I could turn Tom & Jack time, if I could find a way. I'd take back those words that hurt you and you'd stay. Tune in to here two men panicking as they realise the Apprentice final is about to start. We talk about Brexit, when wasps go mad, children spitting, SNL and scouts, scouts, scouts.…
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Soft Lad Gym
Why can't you see? Come Tom & Jack, come Tom & Jack, come Tom & Jack to me. And I know I was wrong, when I said it was true, that it couldn't be me and be her in between - without you. Jack is tired. Tom's been blocked by Alan Sugar. BUT together, they make it work. Here are some things that…
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Nice, Albeit Arrogant and Naive
You got your hair combed Tom & Jack and your sunglasses on, baby. And I can tell you my love for you will still be strong - after the boys of summer have gone. This week join us for a Sunday headache and a bloody sundae brain-freeze. There's perverse Christmas covers and a flat battery in…
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You're Not Having a TikTok
Too long I roam in the night - I'm coming Tom & Jack to his side, to put it right. I'm coming home to wuthering, wuthering, Wuthering Heights. This week that only lasted three days we learn how to become a TikTok superstar and lay out a cheeseboard with the help of Zoella. There's pottery…
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Topics in this show
About this show
Hello! Here's a summary of what we do.In the style of classic entertainment radio show, out of work radio hosts Tom & Jack broadcast from Tom's basement. They discuss the weird and wonderful happenings of their mundane lives. They were born into a world they don't understand and doesn't understand them. They're lashing out. Whether it be successfully applying for the Apprentice or setting up a new gym where bigger boys aren't allowed, it's never dull (apart from all the time when it, lamentably, is).
Hosted by
Tom & Jack