The Upchuck Theater Podcast
Ruining your childhood movie memories one episode at a time. We watch em, and then break em down off the cuff and uncensored!
Episodes
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Twixt - Coppola's Continual Downfall
Aaron and Dustin barely make it through Francis Ford Coppola's Twixt film from 2011. It's been so long since we've uploaded anything so here's hoping you people still have some love in your hearts for us!
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Ma? Upchuck says NA.
Welcome back folks - After a too long hiatus, here's some good old movie nonsense - no nostalgia here except for wistfully wishing we had the roughly 3 hours of our lives back dealing with this. In Ma, instead of making something genuinely interesting, horrifying, or statement based, we get 30…
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We're bacccckkk.. sort of
Dustin and Aaron on a road trip edition
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Kraa! The Sea Monster -- Our Kind of Bad/Upchuck Theater Crossover
Hi All, Dustin here. Apologies for lack of content updates, but it has been a busy year not allowing the Upchuck team to be united often. We will get everyone caught up with Season 2 and the Annual Chuckies soon and back on track with Season 3 shortly as well. Anyway in the meantime, myself (and…
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Battlefield Earth... Rigggghhht
Please. Travolta. Scientology. Garbage.
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Love and Saucers featuring JayZippo
Every time Jay Zippo comes on the show, he one ups himself with horrible choices. In this episode we tackle our first documentary, Love and Saucers, about a guy who claims he's had encounters (mostly sexual) with aliens for over 50 years. Along the way he gets milked, has children, and works at a...
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Feb 22, 2018 Aaron off the cuff
Aaron rambles on about a ton of content he's consumed of late after a frustrating day and evening. Taylor Sheridan films, actors you can't stand but acknowledge a good performance from, and a lot more Jake Gyllenhaal than he likes to admit.
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Blade Runner 2049 - Incept Date Off the Cuff
**This pod opens with a promo from our good friends The Subject Tonight - give them a follow and a listen! A rambling, all over the place episode with just Rob and Aaron - we discuss Blade Runner 2049 - a movie we were both fearful of. Being huge fans of the original, we both felt a sequel...
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Truth or Consequences N.M. - Episode 21
This episode sees the guys dealing with home grown hero Vincent Gallo and the truly awful Keifer Sutherland helmed vehicle Truth or Consequences N.M. A completely inept film, it's hard for the gang to remain interested. Taking up entirely too much time is Aaron evoking the spirit of Gallo reading...
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Millennium - Episode 20
We're bacccck!! Happy New Year. We've got a bunch of episodes that will hopefully be coming fast and furious and this is the start. Kris Kristofferson helms this awful, should have been Lifetime Movie, Millennium. This is definitely one of the worst movies we've watched yet, the ineptitude in all...
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Microwave Massacre - Episode 19
In this episode, our poorly drawn farce is forced to watch an ever poorer drawn farce. Microwave Massacare is truly an awful movie, probably the most inanely made film we've watched in our time doing this. With a poor imitation of Rodney Dangerfield at the helm, even strange looking breasts and...
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Vibrations - Episode 18
Episode 18 takes to the awful world of Vibrations - An absolute piece of trash starring James Marshall and Christina Applegate, about a handless doofus who becomes an electronica superstar... right. This one is horrible, and you probably haven't heard of it. With good reason. If you like this...
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Aaron and Dustin Take New Orleans off the cuff
In this episode, (around June 1st) Aaron and Dustin recap their not so epic trip to the Big Easy, New Orleans. From cheap sandwiches to ball soup style heat to rain, rain, and more rain to...well. They recap their trip and all the different things that were done, eaten, and more. For Captain...
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Red Sonya - Episode 17
It's been a long long time. Way too long. Deepest apologies to everyone that enjoys what we do here. It's been a very trying, busy, and difficult few months for everyone involved. From good things like going on vacations and new vehicels to bad things like tons of money and frustration and people...
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Alien Covenant - Theater Nonsense
*******SPOLIERS*******In this off the cuff but feature length episode, Aaron and Rob recount their awful experience at the theater this past weekend seeing Alien: Covenant. They remember what makes the Alien franchise special (that is not in this movie) and so they break down the nonsense plot…
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Upchuck Theater Off the Cuff - IMDb 30 Day Challenge
Greetings Upchuckers! This was posted a little bit late, but in this unofficial episode, Dustin, Aaron & Rob all take a stab at an IMDb Challenge that asked the following questions. Here is the link that will show those questions. Unsurprisingly Aaron is disgusted with a majority of Dustin's...
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St. Patty's Day Nonsense x2!
So this is our Saint Patrick's Day episode...released on Mother's Day. In May. Almost 2 months to the day later. First and foremost, thank you to all the loving mother's out there. You have more than just a tough job. Without you, there is no life. Or terrible movies. Secondly, your support is…
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Rollerball - Episode 15
In this episode, we watch one of our most divisive episodes yet - the 2002 horro show that is Rollerball. A remake of a 1975 gritty James Caan classic, the new Rollerball is stupid, poorly done, and a Rob favorite. Appealing to Rob's love of bad schlock, we also see Dustin (in possibly his most...
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Aaron off the cuff on his epic 10v10 film loss
See the initial lists here Aaron talks about his epic failure in a 10 v 10 film list on twitter. Paul Mackie orchestrated an epic showdown between 2 people at a time... and boy does Aaron get murdered. Everyone involved thought that it would be closer but Jordan runs away with it. What's funny...
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Mannequin - Episode 14
Special guest star: Drunken Rob In this episode, the guys tackle an absolutely attrocious ball of nonsense that drives Rob to drink. The Andrew McCarthy / Kim Cattrall helmed Mannequin. Though we possess undying love for Kim Cattrall, it's not even close to enough to save this from the trash…
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Final Fantasy The Spirits Within - Episode 13
In this episode, with the release several months back of Final Fantasy XV, we tackle the first ever Final Fantasy animated feature The Spirits Within. This one...is really terrible. Listening back through it for quality purposes, it's actually one of the better discussions about the actual film...
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Aaronsan and Robaru do Battle Royale!
In an off the cuff that becomes more like a full on episode (and to cover up the fact that Aaron has been slacking on the standard episodes),Aaron and Rob tackle Battle Royale, the 2000 Japanese classic that still turns head with its controversy. In a dystopian Japan, lawlessness by the youth is…
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Mar 16, 2017 Aaron off the cuff
Aaron rambles on for a few about Proxy, Blood Simple, Black Mass, and Dead of Winter. 3 out of 4 are highly recommended. He tells us what he thinks Harrison Ford's best films are... What are your thoughts? As always thanks for listening and please subscribe and share!
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Sucker Punch - Episode 12
Well it's taken a while but our official episodes are back. Our first official episode of the 2nd season sees us watch the utter garbage given to the world by Zack Snyder... Sucker Punch. A 'female empowerment' movie of Snyder's sexy party fantasies is a contender for worst overall film we've...
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Don't Hang Up - With Aaron and Dustin Off the Cuff
With Rob on the sidelines recovering from a nasty cold and Aaron only able to tolerate Dustin for a short amount of time given the scope of his lies as exposed in the latest uploads, the duo tackles an utter pile of vomit in Don't Hang Up. When 2 dude bros act like total jackholes and then pay…
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Tuff Turf Pt II - Aaron Retorts!!!
Game on Dustin...game on. Aaron expresses his own views and reveals the FACTS about Less than Zero, Dustin's lack of checking Wikipedia, and that Witness is the best film Harrison Ford has ever done. What will he rate it? Listen and find out!! Apologizes for some of my mouth breathing and raspy…
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Dustin's Tuff Turf Off the Cuff - Part 1
Bringing you an awful off the cuff examination of the James Spader vomit vehicle of 1985, my birth year. What started out as an okay foray of entertainment on a Monday evening, turned into a roller coaster of utter nonsense accented through over the top character reactions and cliched plot…
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Season 1 Finale - The 1st annual Chuckies
Well, we did it. We did a whole freaking season of this nonsense. Well sort of I mean we only started in July or August. We don't even remember when we started can you believe that? What kind of morons don't remember when they started doing something? With this upload we bring to you the season 1...
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Reindeer Games - Episode 10
Our last episodic session of Season 1 sees us with our first guest, Aaron's childhood friend Eric. He brings with him a doozy in Reindeer Games, a truly awful Ben Affleck vehicle that was the last film of John Franknheimer's directorial career - then he died. Also with repeat offender Charlize...
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Ghosts of Mars - Episode 9
Our 9th official episode features the absoulte nonsense that is John Caprenter's Ghosts of Mars. This one is especially painful given all three of us are massive Carpenter fans be it Assault on Precinct 13, The Thing, Escape from New York, They Live, and more. This one made Carpenter shun making…
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Bus Driver - Episode 8
On this official 8th installment... His job was to drive them. His mission is to save them. We bring you the most current film we've reviewed so far, Bus Driver (2016). When a ragtag bunch of misfit teenagers and their ridiculous track suited chaperone get in with the God Damned Bus Driver and...
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Aaron off the cuff review of 4 films from 2001 and back.
Aaron on The Duelists, American Gigolo, Bully, and Perfect Blue. Ridley Scott, Paul Schrader, and Larry Clark. Thanks as always for listening and please subscribe and share!
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Eye for an Eye Episode 7
Our 7th episode sees us viewing the 1996 thirller Eye for an Eye starring Sally Fields, Keifer Sutherland, and Ed Harris. With the emotional nonsense of a Limetime movie, it's the story of one of the coldest most awful mothers in movie history deciding she wants revenge on the killer of her...
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Jan 4, 2017 Aaron and the New Year
An impromptu Terminator tangent. Shut Eye on Hulu. Rogue One and 3d. Thanks for listening and please subscribe and share!
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Dec 26, 2016 Aaron off the cuff with his weekend viewings.
Weekend vegetation lends for some brief musings on Hitchcock, Yul Brenner, David Lynch, and more. Hope everyone had a great holidaynin whatever form you choose.
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Alone in the Dark Episode 6
This episode (recorded around Halloween) is a hands down universal non-accliamed episode. Sure to be a fan favorite, we review the thing that happened that is the film Alone in the Dark. We tie into Street Fighter a lot, as well as hear some words of wisdom from the man himself Uwe Boll.…
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House on Haunted Hill - Episode 5
On this episode we explore The House on Haunted Hill - the remake from 1999. This is definitely the worst Upchucked film to date. Starring Geoffrey Rush, Famke Jansen, and Taye Diggs amongst others, we are invited into a pre-teen Halloween party where people end up dead. The movie continues our...
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Nov 20, 2016 Nonsense on the go with Aaron going rogue!
Aaron gives an off the cuff review of Judge Dredd (1995) and Burn After Reading by the Coen Brothers. As always thanks for listening! Please consider subscribing and giving us a review on wherever you listen to us through.
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Thir13en Ghosts - Episode 4
In Episode 4 the trio tackles Thir13en Ghosts, an abomination of a remake of an old Vincent Price movie. Since these descriptions are always written by Aaron, it's an abomination. We find what will probably become a theme between Aaron and Dustin in their vastly different stances on some of the...
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The Astronaut's Wife Episode 3
In this edition of The Upchuck Theater Podcast we take on the Rand Ravage masterpiece The Astronaut's Wife starring Johnny Depp and Charlize Theron. We also try to be more professional with an OUTRO as well as an intro!!! Aaron and Dustin debate the use of CCTV, we find out where warmth comes…
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Oct 29, 2016 Aaron & Dustin on the Road. The Neon Demon and Lights Out.
On their way back from Cleveland, Aaron and Dustin riff in the car on The Neon Demon and Lights Out in the first Vomit off the Cuff mobile edition. This episode is different in the sense that only 2 of us were in the car, and we weren't regurgitating immediately after viewing. Dustin and Aaron…
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Upchuck 2 - Broken Arrow
Episode 2 brings us to the epic disaster that is Broken Arrow. Loud, stupid, and just poorly done, we felt sympathy for John Woo trying to bring his special breed of cinema to an American cast. The results? Disastrous. We had gone down a long list of possible candidates for this one, but in…
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Inaugural Upchuck - Ghost Ship
In our first episode, we watch and violate our minds with the masterpiece Ghost Ship starring Gabriel Byrne, Julianna Margulies, and Isaiah Washington. Ghost ship provides an opening sequence opening massacre listed as #13 on Bloody Disgusting's list of "The Top 13 Kills in Horror Movie History"....
About this show
Ruining your childhood movie memories one episode at a time. We watch em, and then break em down off the cuff and uncensored!
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