PODCAST · tv
The Vampire Journals
by Morgan Ormond
"Earth Break" creator Morgan Ormond and "Shoe Bones" writer El Haney invite their friends to do a deep dive into each episode of "The Vampire Diaries," a supernatural teen drama on the CW from 2008 to 2016. We bring our queer perspectives, emotional processing, and knowledge of vampire lore and literature to try and answer the question: "Is this show actually good?"You can support this podcast! Click the link below to get started.
Episodes
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The Lost Episode (OR The One Where Nobody Has A Good Day) - Season 5, Episode 6
Hey everyone! We originally thought we lost the entire recording of this episode, but we actually only lost the last 15 minutes - next episode will be a little longer, and will also recap some of this episode to compensate. In this episode, we take a magical journey to the beautiful and…
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The Unstakeable Katherine Pierce - Season 5, Episode 5
In this episode, it’s time for a historical Halloween gala! Silas and Damon pull some sneaky switcheroo shenanigans. A mysterious rich boy named Aaron is investigating the murder of Hayley Kiyoko. Katherine evades death yet again. Plus, your hosts manage to break the world record for the highest...
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Paranormal Matt-ivity - Season 5, Episode 4
In this episode, Mystic Falls holds their coolest festival yet (and we’re not even being sarcastic about that). Plus, Stefan goes redpill, Damon plays the wildcard, Matt has a man inside of him, and Bonnie has a very late memorial service. Content: The Vampire Diaries; Season 5, Episode 4: For…
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Women in STEM (Spells, Tarot, Enchantments, and Magic) - Season 5, Episode 3
In this episode, we flash back to ancient Greece and learn about Qetsiyah: a woman scorned. Plus, Stefan gets kidnapped, Damon is subject to the existential horrors of free will, and Katharine gives MAHA vibes. Content: The Vampire Diaries; Season 5, Episode 3: Original Sin Facebook Page:...
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Problematica - Season 5, Episode 2
In this episode, Matt gives Bonnie a much-needed shoulder to cry on, Elena gets brainwashed, and Jeremy gets totally jacked. Plus, Katherine has a shotgun and head cold. Content: The Vampire Diaries; Season 5, Episode 2: True Lies Facebook Page: Journals...
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The Brief and Wondrous Life of Lesbian Jesus - Season 5, Episode 1
In this episode, Silas commits a political assassination, Matt has a threesome, and Stefan does a polar plunge to ring in the new year. Plus, Elena and Caroline meet lesbian icon Hayley Kiyoko at college. We’re back, baby! Content: The Vampire Diaries; Season 5, Episode 1: I Know What You Did…
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Immortal Cuck - Season 4 Finale
In this episode, (most of) the gang graduates high school, the ghosts of Mystic Falls say their goodbyes, and Katherine makes an oopsie. Plus, we finally get a Silas face reveal. We're officially halfway through the series, folks! Content: The Vampire Diaries; Season 4, Episode 23: Graduation...
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Psychic Killer, Qu'est-ce Que C'est? - Season 4, Episode 22
In this episode, Bonnie does some big magic that backfires, the cure changes hands, and Silas is stoned. Meanwhile, the Salvatore brothers learn how to draw a triangle and the podcast's hosts learn about marine biology. Content: The Vampire Diaries; Season 4, Episode 22: The Walking Dead Facebook...
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Elena Hearts Hate 🖤 - Season 4, Episode 21
In this episode, Matt is failing out of school and the Salvatore brothers are failing at being torturers. Thankfully, Rebekah's here to be a tutor and Katherine's here to be an expert torturer slash pot-stirrer. Also, Silas keeps showing up. Content: The Vampire Diaries; Season 4, Episode 21…
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Brotherly Relations Optimization Specialist - Season 4, Episode 20
In this episode, we go to New Orleans where Klaus suspects a witch uprising against him. However, he finds that his adopted son, Marcel, has taken over the city. Meanwhile, Haley is pregnant and it's some sort of witch prophecy! Content: The Vampire Diaries; Season 4, Episode 20: The Originals...
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Power Struggle at the Prom - Season 4, Episode 19
In this episode, it's Prom night at Mystic Falls high and everyone's unhinged. Damon and Stefan struggle to turn Elena's humanity switch back on. Bonnie proves she's the baddest bitch around. And Caroline borrows a dress from Klaus' antique collection. Meanwhile, Rebekah is trying to be human for...
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American Gothic - Season 4, Episode 18
In this episode, Elena and Rebekah steal Damon's car to search for Katherine and the cure. Damon and Stefan make a plan A to turn Elena's emotions back on. Plan B? Torture. Meanwhile, our boy Elijah is back. Content: The Vampire Diaries; Season 4, Episode 18: American Gothic Facebook Page:...
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A Vampire's Vampire - Season 4, Episode 17
In this episode, we take a trip to the 1970s New York punk scene, where Damon and Lexi were having a good time. In the present, Damon is trying to turn Elena's humanity switch back on while simultaneously looking for Katherine and the cure. Meanwhile, Caroline and Stefan try to convince Klaus…
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Gimme your B, Gimme your L, Gimme Your Double O - D. - Season 4, Episode 16
In this episode, Elena gets back into cheerleading and does a Mean Girl and snacks on a cheerleader. We have two team-ups to find the cure: team Damon and Rebekah and team Klaus and Hayley. Elena then throws a party and takes things too far. Content: The Vampire Diaries; Season 4, Episode 16…
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Damon's Amelia Bedelia Lobotomy - Season 4, Episode 15
In this episode, Damon smuggles Jeremy's corpse across the Canadian border. Elena goes through the stages of grief while the Salvatore brothers decide how to make her be less sad. Damon makes the wildest choice of all. Content: The Vampire Diaries; Season 4, Episode 15: Stand By Me Facebook Page:...
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National Lampoon's Nova Scotia Vacation - Season 4, Episode 14
In this episode, Klaus flaunts his Aramaic codex skills. Jeremy and Bonnie find Silas and a whole lot of trouble. Katherine makes another big villain entrance. Meanwhile, everyone plays a game of telephone with the fact that there's only one cure. Content: The Vampire Diaries; Season 4, Episode…
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The Boy Map To Cave Hole - Season 4, Episode 13
In this episode, the gang goes to Novascotia Canada to find the world's biggest baddest immortal witch Silas. Bonnie uses Jeremy's boy map to find he way, but Professor Shane has plans of his own. Meanwhile, there's someone else on the island throwing axes and being mysterious. Content: The…
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Bond. Jeremy Bond. - Season 4, Episode 12
In this episode, it's another Decade Dance, and Rebekah still won't get to attend. Damon is in the Salvator dungeon because Kol compelled him to kill Jeremy. Meanwhile, Bonnie's dad calls in the calvalry to help deal with Bonnie's newfound power. Content: The Vampire Diaries; Season 4, Episode…
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Catch Jeremy If You Can - Season 4, Episode 11
In this episode, Elena comes to a tipping point, suggesting a way for Jeremy to kill 10s of thousands of vampires. Klaus forbids Kol from killing Jeremy, but Kol follows the letter of the law as a shitty little brother does. Meanwhile, Professor Shane gets arrested for all those murders. Content:...
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The Rebreakfast Club - Season 4, Episode 10
In this episode, Rebekah is back and out for revenge. She holds everyone hostage at the school library a la The Breakfast Club to get all the juicy updates. Meanwhile, Damon and Klaus fight over how best to train Jeremy. Content: The Vampire Diaries; Season 4, Episode 10: After School Special...
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The Simp Bond - Season 4, Episode 9
In this episode, it's Christmas and the town of Mystic Falls puts on another event at the Lockwood Mansion: a Winter Wonderland. Surely nothing bad will happen here! Professor Shane (Shady-pants) helps hypnosis Jeremy into not wanting to kill his sister-- I'm sure there's no ulterior motive.…
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Ethically Sourced Girlfriends - Season 4, Episode 8
In this episode, the Salvator Bros take a road trip to New Orleans to figure out just how literal the sire bond is. A new hybrid challenges Tyler for the werewolf alpha crown. Meanwhile, Elena, Caroline, and Bonnie have a girls' sleepover at the Salvator mansion and do sleepover things like...
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Jeremy is Not OK - Season 4, Episode 7
In this episode, it's the Miss Mystic Falls pageant again, and this time, Elena and Caroline support April as pageant veterans. Damon smells something off about Professor Shane and won't stop until he finds out what this occult prof is up to. Meanwhile, has anyone checked up on Jeremy lately?...
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Small Steps to the Madhouse - Season 4, Episode 6
In this episode, Elena is plagued by hallucinations of the man she murdered. Klaus locks Elena away to prevent her from hurting herself. Professor Shane reveals an ancient witchcraft that he's been teaching to Bonnie. And Caroline makes a selfish mistake with Tyler. Meanwhile, Stefan and Klaus…
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Ambush at the Applebees - Season 4, Episode 5
In this episode, vampire hunter Jordan Connor sets up a trap at the Mystic Grill, holding Jeremy, Matt, and April as teen hostages. Stefan allies with Klaus and continues to keep the vampire cure a secret. Meanwhile, Elena will do anything to save her brother... even kill. Content: The Vampire...
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Torsos and Toxicity - Season 4, Episode 4
In this episode, we cold open to 5 hunks getting sweet tatts. Damon teaches Elena how to hunt at college frat parties. And in a flashback to 12th Century Italy, Klaus reveals that those 5 hunks are super vampire hunters. Meanwhile, Bonnie meets up with Professor Atticus Shane who convinces her to...
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The Enrager - Season 4, Episode 3
In this episode, Rebekah throws a party, the hunter uses werewolf venom in the beer kegs, and Tyler keeps new-werewolf-in-town Haley from Caroline. Meanwhile, Elena continues to struggle to drink blood that's not straight from the vein. Content: The Vampire Diaries Season 4, Episode 3: The Rager...
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Oops, All Orphans! - Season 4, Episode 2
In this episode, Elena continues to vomit all non-Matt and non-Damon blood while the Salvators argue about how she should best be a vampire. Meanwhile, the town holds a memorial for Pastor Young and all the council members he blew up, and Tyler takes one for the team to distract the new vampire...
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Growing Fangs - Seaon 4, Episode 1
In this episode, everyone scrambles to find a way to save Elena from transitioning into a vampire. Bonnie dabbles in dark magic and pays a heavy price. Meanwhile, the council does a hostile takeover of Mystic Falls, and Pastor Young is up to something nefarious. Content: The Vampire Diaries…
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Oh my God, You're a Ghost - Season 3, Episodes 21 & 22
Due to losing 40 minutes of recording episode 21, we decided to watch episode 22 and record one double feature. In this episode, everything leads up to a pivotal moment in Elena's life that connects her past to her present and forever changes her future. Klaus teams up with the Salvatore…
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The Vampire Diaries Season 3 Finale Predictions - Bonus Episode
Bonus episode: We talk predictions for the season 3 finale of The Vampire Diaries. After watching The Vampire Diaries episode 21, Before Sunset, our equipment crashed and we lost 40 minutes of recorded content. So, we decided to watch episode 22, The Departed, and record one big season finale...
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Twilight 2: New Moon Christmas Special
In this episode, we watched the second Twilight movie, New Moon. Edward leaves Bella because his world is just too dangerous. Bella goes into a depression spiral and then becomes an adrenaline junkie. Meanwhile, Jacob does some pining and then some doggy whining. Our takeaway? We wish the whole...
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Alaric Did Not Go Gentle - Season 3, Episode 20
In this episode, Esther continues her plan to kill all her children. She turns Alaric into another Original Vampire(TM) but he decides to let himself die before drinking human blood. But will Esther let her plans fail that easily? Meanwhile, Rebekah misses yet another school dance: The Decade…
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Hotel Motel Holiday Sin - Season 3, Episode 19
In this episode, Elena and Damon take a trip to Colorado to get Jeremy so that he can ask ghost Rose who her upline is. They stop at a motel where things get spicy. Stefan tries to get Alaric's alter ego to appear and tell him where the last white oak stake is. Meanwhile, Caroline and Tyler have…
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Mojo Dojo Casa Klaus - Season 3, Episode 18
In this episode, one of the Original vampires gets murdered and his whole downline goes with him. Backed into a corner, Stefan makes peace with Klaus by offering the rest of the white oak stakes. Meanwhile, Elena and the gang try to figure out who is in Klaus' downline. Content: The Vampire...
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The One Ring to Rule Alaric - Season 3, Episode 17
In this episode, Elena learns the history of her ancestor Samantha Gilbert, and her tragic death. Sage reappears in the modern day to help Finn Mikaelson survive. Damon and Sage plot against Rebekah to get information about the white oak tree, but that is a threesome never meant to be. Meanwhile,...
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Turn-of-the-Century Women's Boxing - Season 3, Episode 16
In this episode, we go back to 1912 where a hot female vampire boxer punches her way through the hearts and heads of men. The mystery of the Mystic Falls serial killer unfolds as we connect the dots to the past and present. It has something to do with Alaric, the Gilbert anti-supernatural death...
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All Esther's Children - Season 3, Episode 15
In this episode, Esther continues her plan to murder all her kids by drawing power from Bonnie and Abby--and the whole Bennett witch bloodline. Elijah makes a new deal with the Salvatores to save his family. Meanwhile, Alaric is still looking for the mysterious Mystic Falls serial killer who...
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The Family Murder Party - Season 3, Episode 14
In this episode, the Michaelson family matriarch throws a ball! Klaus does all he can to get Caroline's attention, like sending her a ball gown and drawing a picture of her next to a horse. Stefan is still pretending he can't love Elena while Damon's love confession gets rejected. Meanwhile…
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Mom Uninterrupted - Season 3, Episode 13
In this episode, Stefan fucked around and found out the 4th coffin housed the body of the Original Witch: She's back and she wants to forgive her children. Caroline's dad makes a decision that, again, hurts Caroline. Elena stabs Alaric to save him from dying from being stabbed. Meanwhile…
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Family Ties and Dungeon Bonding - Season 3, Episode 12
In this episode, Bonnie reunites with her mom so that she can open up Klaus' mysterious 4th coffin. Tyler calls in Caroline's dad to help him get rid of the sire bond. Meanwhile, Dr. Meredith Fell reveals she uses vampire blood to cheat at being a doctor. Content: The Vampire Diaries, Season 3...
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Klaus Loves Love & Birthdays - Season 3, Episode 11
In this episode, it's Caroline's 18th birthday and her friends throw her a funeral. Tyler struggles against the sire bond and bites Caroline. But that's okay: Klaus loves birthdays and comes to save the day he ruined. Meanwhile, Stefan continues to play chicken with Klaus, re-traumatizing Elena…
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Stefan and Klaus Play Chicken - Season 3, Episode 10
In this episode, Tyler struggles with his sire bond to Klaus, who commands him to bite Caroline. Elena and Alaric send Jeremy away after Klaus tries to kill him, even though Elena strikes a deal with Klaus to spare him. Meanwhile, Stefan and Klaus play a dangerous game of chicken. Who will blink...
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Evil Blood Sluts at the Daddy's Dead Party - Season 3, Episode 9
In this episode, Klaus throws a "daddy's dead" party at the high school's Homecoming dance. Everyone schemes with Mikael to kill Klaus, and even though Mikael makes him cry, Klaus is still one step ahead. Allegiances change, plots thicken, and Katherine throws a wolfsbane grenade. Please…
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Originals: Origins - Season 3, Episode 8
In this episode, Rebekah tells all! We flashback to the Originals when they were still ordinary people! Michael and Esther will do anything to save their children (even Klaus, who they don't like very much). Meanwhile, Damon and Alaric decode the cave paintings, and Elena makes a realization that...
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Lexi's 12 Stab Program - Season 3, Episode 7
In this episode, Hannah and Bridget host two new guest experts: a ghost and a Long Island Medium. The door between worlds has opened and many of our favorites make a reappearance! Lexi! Mason! Grams! Pearl! Lexi focuses on helping Stefan get his humanity back by stabbing him over and over. Mason...
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Break on Through (From the Other Side) - Season 3, Episode 6
In this episode, Matt summons Vicki's ghost and instantly regrets it. Caroline discovers that Tyler is sired and will happily do Klaus' bidding. Elena, Damon, and Alaric hatch a plan to capture Stefan at the teen bonfire. Meanwhile, the Original Witch is hatching a plan of her own from the Other...
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Goofy Goofy Prank Prank Klaus - Season 3, Episode 5
In this episode, it's Senior Prank Night at Mystic Falls High (go Timberwolves!) But pranks don't go according to plan when Klaus shows up. He demands Bonnie find a way to save Tyler before turning into a hybrid kills him. Stefan gets his actual humanity turned off this time. Meanwhile…
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Stefan's Murder Wall - Season 3, Episode 4
In this episode, Stefan tries to stop the witch, Gloria, from tracking down Rebekah's necklace. Katherine is back to help Stefan figure out who is chasing Klaus through history. Rebekah reveals how she's a kissing lie detector. Meanwhile, Damon tries to make Bill forget all about Caroline being a...
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Dopple Tropple - Season 3, Episode 3
In this episode, we go back to the 1920's where Stefan first met Klaus and Rebekah. Klaus is still on the hunt for information on why he can't sire his hybrids. Damon and Elena find Stefan's murder wall. Meanwhile, Caroline is tortured by her gay vampire hunter dad via conversion therapy... and…
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ABOUT THIS SHOW
"Earth Break" creator Morgan Ormond and "Shoe Bones" writer El Haney invite their friends to do a deep dive into each episode of "The Vampire Diaries," a supernatural teen drama on the CW from 2008 to 2016. We bring our queer perspectives, emotional processing, and knowledge of vampire lore and literature to try and answer the question: "Is this show actually good?"You can support this podcast! Click the link below to get started.
HOSTED BY
Morgan Ormond
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Frequently Asked Questions
How many episodes does The Vampire Journals have?
The Vampire Journals currently has 108 episodes available on PodParley. New episodes are automatically indexed when they're published to the podcast feed.
What is The Vampire Journals about?
"Earth Break" creator Morgan Ormond and "Shoe Bones" writer El Haney invite their friends to do a deep dive into each episode of "The Vampire Diaries," a supernatural teen drama on the CW from 2008 to 2016. We bring our queer perspectives, emotional processing, and knowledge of vampire lore and...
How often does The Vampire Journals release new episodes?
The Vampire Journals publishes regularly with 108 episodes available. Check the episode list for the typical release schedule.
Where can I listen to The Vampire Journals?
You can listen to The Vampire Journals on PodParley by clicking any episode. We provide an embedded audio player for direct listening, and you can also subscribe via your preferred podcast app using the RSS feed.
Who hosts The Vampire Journals?
The Vampire Journals is created and hosted by Morgan Ormond.
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