The World Traveller Series — blogs and podcasts by Brett Hayhoe

Five relationships, five endings, and a running theme of appalling timing. From a teenage misstep with the phrase "I love you" to a textbook marriage and its quiet unravelling, to a permanent move to Melbourne that lasted seven months — a candid accounting of the men and women I have loved, and lost.

A big fish in a small pond, then a medium fish in a much bigger one. Boards, committees, twelve years on InterPride, and a slow disconnect from community that nobody warns you about. Then illness, solitude, and a hard-won mantra: no expectations, no disappointments. Community service, in full.

A drag queen who could actually lip sync. A Pride board colleague, sweet-souled and now quietly absent. A nightclub instant-friendship with a man of shared politics, shared complications, and a quick temper that has occasionally misfired. Three Elizabeths, a Daddy, and twenty-two years of Melbourne friendship in all its imperfect glory.

Brett Hayhoe reflects on his complex relationship with his father in a compelling memoir. He explores the distance created by his parents' separation and the small, impactful memories that linger. The narrative highlights childhood experiences, the absence of grandparents, and a poignant moment with cigarettes, ultimately revealing an inheritance of memories and unresolved emotions.

A first big trip. A mother and son on Queensland Rail, heading south to visit family. A cousin with a church group and an enormous quantity of alcohol. A homecoming that went badly wrong. A holiday cut short and a train back to Cairns — rather sooner than planned.

A chat floor. A flight to Melbourne. A week in a motel and a tram ride through a city neither of them lived in together for long. What followed was a friendship of twenty-five years — irregular, occasionally fractious, and entirely genuine. Until, recently, it wasn't.

Brett reflects on his enduring friendship with Paul — confidante, co-conspirator, and fellow traveller through some of the most memorable nights and meaningful moments of his life. From InterPride conference bars to a Staten Island keynote, theirs is a friendship built on loyalty, laughter, and an unspoken understanding that simply endures.

Brett reflects on his mother — the woman who named him, caught him smoking under the Queenslander, sent him packing to his sister's, and loved his son James with everything she had. A portrait built from imperfect memory, and all the more precious for it.

What began as a Sunday afternoon encounter stretched into three years of long-distance hope, manipulation and heartbreak spanning Melbourne and India. Brett recalls the red flags he missed, the borders he fought to open, and the man who repaid his loyalty with theft, lies and abandonment.

A friendship that defies easy category. Alan — met in Vancouver, shared in Astoria — and the decade of visits that made his city feel like home. His mother Estelle, with her southern charm and impeccable comedic timing. A sister best experienced unprepared. A neighbourhood bar, a deli, the el, and the sound of the world going about its business.

A testicle the size of an orange. Valentine's Day and ten imaginary carving knives. A colostomy bag and the savings on toilet paper. Chemotherapy, falling teeth, and three years of covering your mouth when you laugh. Cancer, diverticulitis and dentures — an unlikely trio, and an entirely true story.

A small town. An inherited path. A marriage that was real and a deception that was also real. Sisters, a best friend, a luncheon club that disappeared overnight, and a move that became inevitable. Coming out changed everything — some for the better, some for the worse. All of it, finally, honest.

Four employers in sixty years. Two radio stations, two scandals, one pattern. A phone call that started twenty-two years of Q Magazine. A website partnership that ended badly and cost more than money. A struggle that is current, real, and openly acknowledged. The work life of a man who kept showing up anyway.

Once a month for over a decade, a karaoke host flew to a bauxite mining town on the edge of Arnhem Land. Two extraordinary friends. A boat trip to a cove ringed with mansions. A marriage ended, a coming out began. And one evening — a very quiet, very final reminder that Nhulunbuy played by more than one set of rules.

Tokyo's pollution. A mirror-lined basement club. An ancient gate in the middle of Osaka traffic. A Yakuza warning in a dark alley. The saddest museum in the world. And a host brother whose position on vending machine publications was more complicated than he let on. Japan, unfinished — and unforgettable.

Two visits. Two completely different Japans. A seventeen-year-old boy hosted by extraordinary wealth in Nara and tradition in Kyoto. A twenty-five-year-old president riding the bullet train first class, courtesy of a host best left nameless. The country that gave Brett Hayhoe the travel bug — and never quite gave it back.

A road trip to the tip of Cape Cod. A town that does Bear Week like nowhere else on earth. Seafood that warranted the drive. A karaoke bar that discovered something about its newest patron. And a cold so bitterly personal it left a flu as a souvenir. Worth every degree of it.

A hurricane that grounded every airline but one. A former airline employee who fixed it in two minutes. A building fifteen floors up, swaying. A flooded Manhattan and a drive through darkness without traffic lights. Hurricane Sandy — the storm that turned a New York visit into something considerably more than a visit.

The "Ask Brett" post details Brett Hayhoe's World Traveller Series episode, highlighting a trip to Indianapolis that blends Pride, friendship, and unexpected adventures. It illustrates how shared convictions foster deep connections and memorable hospitality, exemplified by hosts Chris and Michael. The narrative invites reflection on diverse experiences within the global Pride movement.

Multiple visits, one city that keeps earning them. Linda and Anna's quiet kindness over a nerve-settling scotch. Alan at the wheel and a question nobody on the Pride committee could answer. A food hall that answered it anyway. Boston — historically magnificent, people first, and entirely worth the walk.

An InterPride AGM beset by organisational disaster. A presidential challenge nobody quite saw coming — except, perhaps, the candidate. Yelling, back-slapping, and a landslide victory that left certain faces considerably egg-covered. Pittsburgh's gay bars were exceptional. The city itself: more interesting than expected, less than it deserved to be.

A chance airport friendship and a Kenneth Cole origin story in New York. A road trip with dear friends to the most majestic city in America. Bears on podiums in a Washington DC leather bar. And Arlington Cemetery — row upon row of white, in absolute silence. Some weekends earn their place permanently.

A warm climate that wasn't the plan. A spectacular bridge crossing Tampa Bay. A gay village doing exactly what a gay village should. A beach chair, a Latvian delegate, and a very pleasurable international incident. St. Petersburg, Florida — the conference destination that turned out to be considerably more than a conference.

A form filled in and forgotten. A five-star prize to Los Angeles and San Francisco. A lunch in Sydney that can never be repeated. A tram singer performing Old Man River to a captive carriage. And in Long Beach, two friendships that have quietly outlasted everything else. California, as it turned out, was just the beginning.

A filing exercise in Melbourne. A discovery of a forgotten conference. A board decision. And suddenly — Zurich. What began as a steep learning curve inside an international LGBTIQA+ organisation ended with twelve years serving the community on the world stage. It started, as the best things do, unexpectedly.

Thailand is not one destination but many — and this entry tries to do justice to all of them. From Bangkok's relentless energy to Chiang Mai's elephants, Koh Samui's rainbow flag moment, and the Pattaya years that followed, this is a love letter to a country with a genuinely beautiful soul.

Mexico City does not reveal itself gently. It arrives all at once — the scale of it, the noise of it, the contradictions of it — and gives you very little time to find your footing before the next thing demands your attention.

Montreal stands out as a profoundly welcoming city, hosting the unforgettable InterPride AGM and World Conference. The emotional highlight was the minute's silence during Fierté Montréal, honouring 2SLGBTQIA+ pioneers and victims of violence. Despite the bid for WorldPride going to Sydney, personal connections remained strong, with a visit from a dear friend.

Brett Hayhoe's entry recounts a memorable road trip from America to Toronto, exploring vast highways and the spectacle of Niagara Falls. Highlighting cultural moments, he reflects on American exceptionalism at the border, the grandeur of a football game, and a nostalgic tour of Queer as Folk’s filming sites.

The World Traveller Series highlights the deep, rapid friendships formed within the Pride movement, exemplified by the author's bond with Alan, which began in Vancouver. The journey explores the unhurried beauty of Vancouver and the cinematic essence of Saskatoon, celebrating the chosen families created through these connections and experiences in the movement.

Brett Hayhoe’s solo journey through Brussels, Ghent, Amsterdam, and Paris unfolds after he opts to extend a conference trip. Despite losing his wallet, he discovers invaluable lessons about travel and perspective. Through each city, he embraces both challenges and tourist attractions, underscoring the significance of seizing unexpected opportunities.

Brett Hayhoe's travel series begins in New York City, exploring why it captivates travellers despite its chaos and high costs. He argues the city's allure lies in its unique energy, cultural diversity, and architectural richness, portraying it as a living entity that invites ongoing discovery and connection, especially within its LGBTIQA+ community.

Brett Hayhoe reflects on the enduring allure of Hong Kong, a city that captivates him through its unique aromas, vibrant culture, and complex politics. The post explores the sensory experiences of returning year after year, highlighting the community, historical changes, and the emotional connections that transform visits into a sense of home.

In Entry No. 5 of The World Traveller Series, Brett returns — three times — to Montpellier in the South of France. From a site inspection to an InterPride AGM where he was re-elected President for a second term, and finally to the trip that mattered most: invited back as International Guest for Montpellier Pride, alongside his best friend Alan, a borrowed car, a GPS with its own agenda, and a Rolls Royce in Monaco that made everything worthwhile.

In Entry No. 3 of The World Traveller Series, we land in Madrid for WorldPride 2017 — one of the largest LGBTQ+ celebrations in human history. Join Brett as he navigates the electric streets of the Spanish capital, a media conference with dignitaries, and one accidental moment of Spanish that brought the house down.

Brett Hayhoe's World Traveller series explores the allure of New York and Tokyo, highlighting their unique cultural identities. New York is portrayed as a vibrant narrative force, while Tokyo reshapes perceptions through personal experiences. The series also examines Australia’s identity as a “Lucky Country,” acknowledging both strengths and ongoing challenges, particularly regarding equity.