Things Musicians Don't Talk About

We couldn't be more pleased to be releasing this interview with legendary journalist Jessica Duchen. Hosted in her beautiful home, we speak about her path into writing, how personal challenges have affected her outlook on life and journalism, and her decision to no longer be "muzzled". Her commitment to uncovering classical music's uncomfortable truths has resulted in some iconic articles, including her coverage of Ilan Volkov's 2025 Proms pro-Palestinian statement, the Simón Bolívar Youth Orchestra and El-Sistema, and sexism in classical music. A true TMDTA hero.-------------------------------------------------------------Things Musicians Don't Talk About is supported by the Royal Society of Musicians! Follow RSM on Instagram, X and Facebook.-------------------------------------------------------------Hosts: Hattie Butterworth & Rebecca ToalEditor: Emma WernerMusic: Katy Ehrlich Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This was never going to be a fun episode to make. After some months of sitting on this decision, we are sharing with you the news that TMDTA will come to an end in June after six years of beautiful conversations. In this episode, Becca and I discuss the reasons why and look back over the six years. Thank you thank you for all your incredible love and support – we are so grateful for this community and always will be. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

What REALLY goes on in the world of ballet and specialist ballet schools? And how different is it to the world of classical music and what can we learn from ballet dancers as musicians?Louise Bennett is a former ballet dancer and Artistic Director of the London Vocational Ballet School. She Hattie and Becca about the current climate within ballet, experience at the Royal Ballet School, as well as taking us through her struggles with injury and leaving the industry.More about Louise: https://www.louisebennett.info/aboutThe London Vocational Ballet School-------------------------------------------------------------Things Musicians Don't Talk About is supported by the Royal Society of Musicians! Follow RSM on Instagram, X and Facebook.-------------------------------------------------------------Support TMDTAWant to support us on a regular basis? Consider joining our Patreon from £1 a month: https://www.patreon.com/tmdtaFeeling generous? Help us raise funds for the podcast: https://www.gofundme.com/f/v9jgf-things-musicians-dont-talk-aboutFind TMDTA on all the socials at @tmdtapodcast-------------------------------------------------------------Hosts: Hattie Butterworth & Rebecca ToalEditor: Hattie ButterworthMusic: Katy Ehrlich Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hattie has "trouble in everything", Becca has been living the Lady of Leisure lifestyle. They look back at 2016, forwards to 2026, and reply to an email from a reader/listener who reached out about feeling gaslit by their music college professor. -------------------------------------------------------------Things Musicians Don't Talk About is supported by the Royal Society of Musicians! Follow RSM on Instagram, X and Facebook.-------------------------------------------------------------Support TMDTAWant to support us on a regular basis? Consider joining our Patreon from £1 a month: https://www.patreon.com/tmdtaFeeling generous? Help us raise funds for the podcast: https://www.gofundme.com/f/v9jgf-things-musicians-dont-talk-aboutFind TMDTA on all the socials at @tmdtapodcast-------------------------------------------------------------Hosts: Hattie Butterworth & Rebecca ToalEditor: Rebecca ToalMusic: Katy Ehrlich Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

What role do musicians play in the political landscape? And how safe do they feel about speaking out without damaging their career prospects? In this episode, live from the Royal Society of Musicians, Hattie and Rebecca are joined by cellist and former Labour MP Thangam Debbonaire and harpist and activist Eleanor Turner. They explore the barriers musicians face to championing their political causes as we become increasingly aware of war, genocide, and climate change. -------------------------------------------------------------Thank you to the Royal Society of Musicians for its ongoing support. Become a member and donate today: https://www.rsmgb.org/Explore the UK Opera Association: https://www.ukoa.net/Explore Eleanor Turner's work: https://www.eleanorturner.biz/-------------------------------------------------------------Support TMDTADonate to our ongoing costs: https://www.gofundme.com/f/v9jgf-things-musicians-dont-talk-aboutWant to support us on a regular basis? Consider joining our Patreon from £1 a month: https://www.patreon.com/tmdta-------------------------------------------------------------Edited by Oscar Gormley Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

We bring you a special filmed episode from Ronnie Scott's legendary London jazz club where we speak with the fabulous Lizzie Ball. Alongside pianist James Pearson, Lizzie will be curating the much-anticipated classical series Upstairs at Ronnie’s. We chat about the series, and then onto Lizzie's backstory of becoming an improvising violinist, coaching musicians with performance anxiety, and what classical musicians could learn from jazz.Lizzie Ball:Lizzie Ball is a violinist, vocalist, producer, and founder of Classical Kicks Productions, dedicated to bringing classical music to new audiences in diverse settings. A Cambridge graduate and Royal College of Music alumna, she has performed internationally for over two decades. In 2018, she received an Honorary Masters from the University of Derby for her innovative contributions to music and was named one of the UK’s most inspirational females in a list of 50 outstanding UK women making an impact, in a feature run by Daily Mail. Classical Kicks, her flagship project, has staged eclectic collaborations at Ronnie Scott’s and beyond, featuring everything from string quartets to rappers. Lizzie also co-created Corrido: A Ballad for the Brave, an immersive audio-visual production inspired by Frida Kahlo, premiered with the V&A Museum. Other projects include reimagined productions of Verklärte Nacht and shows blending music with visual art and storytelling. Alongside her productions, Lizzie enjoys a thriving freelance career. She has been featured soloist with Jeff Beck (US arena tour), Brian Wilson, and Grammy-award winning choir New York Polyphony, and worked with Hugh Jackman, Ariana Grande, and Liam Gallagher. She was concertmaster of Nigel Kennedy’s Orchestra of Life for eight years, including BBC Proms appearances. Her recording credits include film scores (Captain Marvel, Terminator Genisys) and major pop albums. Passionate about outreach, Lizzie has led workshops worldwide and collaborates with the Sheffield Music Hub and PRISMA charity in Mexico. Her latest venture, Set Your Stage, combines her performing career with mentoring, helping young people and professionals develop confidence, creativity, and leadership skills.Lizzie's websiteFollow Lizzie on InstagramHosts: Rebecca Toal & Hattie ButterworthEdited by: Oscar Gormley & Rebecca ToalThank you to ABRSM for sponsoring this episode. Go to www.ABRSM.org/sfmt to check out their Musical Theatre syllabus. -------------------------------------------------------------Things Musicians Don't Talk About is supported by the Royal Society of Musicians! Follow RSM on Instagram, X and Facebook.-------------------------------------------------------------Support TMDTADonate to our ongoing costs: https://www.gofundme.com/f/v9jgf-things-musicians-dont-talk-aboutWant to support us on a regular basis? Consider joining our Patreon from £1 a month: https://www.patreon.com/tmdta Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Dr. Anna Bull is a Senior Lecturer in Education and Social Justice, Co-director of The 1752 Group and a former professional pianist and cellist. We return to Zoom to speak with her about class and socioeconomic issues in the classical music industry, and pick her brains about what, if anything, can be done. She also tells us about her work on sexual harassment in music conservatoires, and why the master-apprentice model has created a particularly risky environment.Anna’s monograph Class, control, and classical music was published in 2019 with Oxford University Press and in 2020 was joint winner of the British Sociological Association Philip Abrams Award.She has recently co-edited a volume calledVoices for Change in the Classical Music Profession: New Ideas for Tackling Inequalities and Exclusions, and Anna was lead author on the report Slow Train Coming: Equality, Diversity and Inclusion in UK conservatoires. Her research published in 2022 for the Equality, Diversity and Inclusion in Music Studies network.Anna is speaking at the Class Ceiling conference on 9th December 2025. Free and discounted tickets are available.Read more of Anna's work:Bull, A., & Prince, K. (2025). Addressing harassment and sexual misconduct experienced by postgraduate researchers. The 1752 Group.https://1752group.wordpress.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/06/harassment_pgrs.pdfRead an interview about the toolkit for addressing harassment and sexual misconduct among postgraduate researchers, and read Anna's comment piece in Nature about the toolkit.-------------------------------------------------------------Things Musicians Don't Talk About is supported by the Royal Society of Musicians! Follow RSM on Instagram, X and Facebook.-------------------------------------------------------------Support TMDTAWant to support us on a regular basis? Consider joining our Patreon from £1 a month: https://www.patreon.com/tmdta Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Trigger Warning: suicidal ideation from 13:50 to 18:00Is it ethical that musicians feels 'owned' or controlled by their donors? Today in The Break Down, we are discussing philanthropy in classical music and opera, Hattie's recent experience of depression and the strife of misogyny, sadly still in some of Rebecca's orchestral experiencesWatch this episode on Youtube here.-------------------------------------------------------------Thank you to ABRSM for sponsoring this episode. Explore the drum kit exams and syllabus here-------------------------------------------------------------Things Musicians Don't Talk About is supported by the Royal Society of Musicians! Follow RSM on Instagram, X and Facebook.-------------------------------------------------------------Support TMDTAWant to support us on a regular basis? Consider joining our Patreon from £1 a month: https://www.patreon.com/tmdtaFeeling generous? Help us raise funds for the podcast: https://www.gofundme.com/f/v9jgf-things-musicians-dont-talk-aboutFind TMDTA on all the socials at @tmdtapodcast-------------------------------------------------------------Hosts: Hattie Butterworth & Rebecca ToalEditor: Hattie ButterworthMusic: Katy Ehrlich Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Welcome to our rebranded 'chatty episodes' - now, with middling irony and an exaggerated sense of self-awareness, called The Break Down.Hattie brings our Classical Strife newsletter segment to the podcast, we chat about The Met x Saudi Arabia's hot new #collab, we dis/agree on activism, and come to the usual conclusion that mental health is difficult.Like, subscribe, review (if it's nice), and share with both friends and enemies.Watch this episode on Youtube here.-------------------------------------------------------------A big thank you to our sponsors for this episode, ABRSM. Check out their new woodwind syllabus here.-------------------------------------------------------------Things Musicians Don't Talk About is supported by the Royal Society of Musicians! Follow RSM on Instagram, X and Facebook.-------------------------------------------------------------Support TMDTAWant to support us on a regular basis? Consider joining our Patreon from £1 a month: https://www.patreon.com/tmdtaFeeling generous? Help us raise funds for the podcast: https://www.gofundme.com/f/v9jgf-things-musicians-dont-talk-aboutFind TMDTA on all the socials at @tmdtapodcast-------------------------------------------------------------Hosts: Hattie Butterworth & Rebecca ToalEditor: Rebecca ToalMusic: Katy Ehrlich Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Words hold huge power, and for a long time the word 'anorexia' felt dirty to pianist Ophelia Gordon. First experiencing its wrath while studying at the BRIT School and watching her parents' divorce unravel her life, anorexia would return two years ago when Ophelia separated from her husband. She joins Hattie and Rebecca to uncover the story of her eating disorder, the trauma of divorce and the ways in which learning and recording Nikolai Kapustin's music has saved her life.Things Musicians Don't Talk About is supported by the Royal Society of Musicians! Follow RSM on Instagram, X and Facebook.-------------------------------------------------------------Support TMDTAWant to support us on a regular basis? Consider joining our Patreon from £1 a month: https://www.patreon.com/tmdtaFeeling generous? Help us raise funds for the podcast: https://www.gofundme.com/f/v9jgf-things-musicians-dont-talk-aboutFind TMDTA on all the socials at @tmdtapodcast-------------------------------------------------------------Hosts: Hattie Butterworth & Rebecca ToalEditor: Hattie ButterworthMusic: Katy Ehrlich Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

'If it could have gone wrong it has gone wrong'. The last five years for Jessica Curry, a composer of contemporary classical game music, has been marked by severe illness and personal loss. She joins Hattie and Becca on Things Musicians Don't Talk About to share her journey being diagnosed with ankylosing spondylitis and subsequently shielding during the pandemic. She explains the emotional toll of isolation, the importance of community and support, noting the industry's lack of empathy and her efforts to promote inclusivity. Jessica's latest album, born out of the adversity of this time, Shielding Songs, is an album of her choral music recorded with the London Voices, which is out now on Bandcamp. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

We have reached episode 100 and so decided, as a celebration, we'd take a wee look back... we might now regret it! Listen as we react to the first episode we made together, now over four years ago! Becca also tests Hattie on five years of hot takes – who said what and when?Things Musicians Don't Talk About is supported by the Royal Society of Musicians! Follow RSM on Instagram, X and Facebook.-------------------------------------------------------------Support TMDTAWant to support us on a regular basis? Consider joining our Patreon from £1 a month: https://www.patreon.com/tmdtaFeeling generous? Help us raise funds for the podcast: https://www.gofundme.com/f/v9jgf-things-musicians-dont-talk-aboutFind TMDTA on all the socials at @tmdtapodcast-------------------------------------------------------------Hosts: Hattie Butterworth & Rebecca ToalEditor: HattieMusic: Katy Ehrlich Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

*Trigger warning: discussion of eating disorders, alcoholism, addiction*From our live event at the Royal Society of Musicians on 22nd May 2025Lauren McQuistin has been running the Instagram account @brutalrecovery for years now. Her advocacy for honest recovery discourse has resonated with many alcoholics, particularly with her with her trademark eloquence and dry humour. Lauren now shares her experience of eating disorders - anorexia and bulimia in particular - and how this was especially shaped by her time as a classically-trained soprano. We asked her about her journey through her musical training and her addictions, her views on why there is such a high prevalence of EDs in classical music, body image critique in the opera world, eating disorders as addictions, how her recovery looks day-to-day now, and her new book No Lost Causes Club. As Hattie and I say in the talk, we've really struggled to find someone in classical music to speak about this subject, so huge thank you Lauren for being that person.Check out Lauren on Instagram and go read her new book!Thank you to forScore for advertising with us and to the Royal Society of Musicians for their ongoing support.forScore: https://forscore.coThings Musicians Don't Talk About is supported by the Royal Society of Musicians! Follow RSM on Instagram, X and Facebook.-------------------------------------------------------------Support TMDTAWant to support us on a regular basis? Consider joining our Patreon from £1 a month: https://www.patreon.com/tmdtaFeeling generous? Help us raise funds for the podcast: https://www.gofundme.com/f/v9jgf-things-musicians-dont-talk-aboutFind TMDTA on all the socials at @tmdtapodcast-------------------------------------------------------------Hosts: Hattie Butterworth & Rebecca ToalEditor & engineer: Oscar GormleyMusic: Katy Ehrlich Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hattie and Becca discuss the need for many creatives to prove themselves to others online, often sharing data about their work. Do we need a structure and numeric guide for practice or can it be intuitive? And how does this link to intuitive eating? They also go on to discuss the complexities of dealing with criticism, where that sensitivity comes from and how Hattie copes with empathy for performers whilst writing reviews02:51 Workaholics and their quirks16:20 Intuitive eating vs intuitive practice23:55 Hattie receives criticism at work26:15 Confidence, criticism and power structures35:45 Writing reviews and empathy for performers35:40 Cultural recommendationsWe've got some absolutely stellar interviews lined up for release, with some MORE FILMED CONTENT 🤯 see you soon!Thank you to forScore for advertising with us and to the Royal Society of Musicians for their ongoing support 🙏forScore: https://forscore.coRSM: https://www.rsmgb.org-------------------------------------------------------------Support TMDTAWant to support us on a regular basis? Consider joining our Patreon from £1 a month: https://www.patreon.com/tmdtaFeeling generous? Help us raise funds for the podcast: https://www.gofundme.com/f/v9jgf-things-musicians-dont-talk-aboutFind TMDTA on all the socials at @tmdtapodcast-------------------------------------------------------------Hosts: Hattie Butterworth & Rebecca ToalEditor: Rebecca ToalMusic: Katy Ehrlich#podcast #musicpodcast #musician #mentalhealth Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Mezzo-soprano Jamie Barton has been fighting the corner of the marginalised in classical music now for over 10 years. From a marriage breakdown to a queer awakening and struggles with learning repertoire, Jamie joins Hattie and Becca to discuss her experiences as a queer woman in America and her journey to discovering her ADHD. She also shares powerful insights into body positivity, her approach to music and the importance of using her platform to support marginalised communitiesJamie Barton is at London Classical Pride on 4 July. Tickets here!Thank you to forScore for advertising with us and to the Royal Society of Musicians for their ongoing support.forScore: https://forscore.coThings Musicians Don't Talk About is supported by the Royal Society of Musicians! Follow RSM on Instagram, X and Facebook.-------------------------------------------------------------Support TMDTAWant to support us on a regular basis? Consider joining our Patreon from £1 a month: https://www.patreon.com/tmdtaFeeling generous? Help us raise funds for the podcast: https://www.gofundme.com/f/v9jgf-things-musicians-dont-talk-aboutFind TMDTA on all the socials at @tmdtapodcast-------------------------------------------------------------Hosts: Hattie Butterworth & Rebecca ToalEditor: Emma WernerMusic: Katy Ehrlich Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Entering our YouTube era...! And we're talking about returning to things we didn't expect to: Hattie to America and Becca to the harp. We also have a good ol' think about child prodigies, faith and praying, and Becca obsesses further about JULY. We've got some absolutely stellar interviews lined up for release, so stay tuned.Thank you to forScore for advertising with us and to the Royal Society of Musicians for their ongoing support 🙏 forScore: https://forscore.coThings Musicians Don't Talk About is supported by the Royal Society of Musicians! Follow RSM on Instagram, X and Facebook.-------------------------------------------------------------Support TMDTAWant to support us on a regular basis? Consider joining our Patreon from £1 a month: https://www.patreon.com/tmdtaFeeling generous? Help us raise funds for the podcast: https://www.gofundme.com/f/v9jgf-things-musicians-dont-talk-aboutFind TMDTA on all the socials at @tmdtapodcast-------------------------------------------------------------Hosts: Hattie Butterworth & Rebecca ToalEditor: Rebecca ToalMusic: Katy Ehrlich Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

After a performance we term as 'bad', it can be difficult to return to a sense of confidence in our playing. In this fourth mediation, Ruth Philips leads a meditation to disarm the inner critic and restore a sense of peace and acceptance in our performing. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Our aim as musicians is to communicate generously and freely to our audience but we rarely turn towards ourselves with the same degree of care. In this meditation, Ruth Philips leads a loving kindness practice, exploring how it might be to extend that kindness outwards towards our audience Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This meditation aims to bring you closer to your instrument and aid in healing any sense of disconnect you may be feelingDiscover Ruth Philips *Ruth Philips and Lucy Russell are running a course 'Mindfulness for Musicians' at Benslow Music from 13-15 June. More information here*-------------------------------------------------------------Things Musicians Don't Talk About is supported by the Royal Society of Musicians! Follow RSM on Instagram, X and Facebook.-------------------------------------------------------------Support TMDTAWant to support us on a regular basis? Consider joining our Patreon from £1 a month: https://www.patreon.com/tmdtaFeeling generous? Help us raise funds for the podcast: https://www.gofundme.com/f/v9jgf-things-musicians-dont-talk-aboutFind TMDTA on all the socials at @tmdtapodcast Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

A meditation for musicians lead by cellist and mindfulness meditation teacher Ruth Philips for use to calm the mind around stage fright and performance anxiety. Discover Ruth Philips -------------------------------------------------------------Things Musicians Don't Talk About is supported by the Royal Society of Musicians! Follow RSM on Instagram, X and Facebook.-------------------------------------------------------------Support TMDTAWant to support us on a regular basis? Consider joining our Patreon from £1 a month: https://www.patreon.com/tmdtaFeeling generous? Help us raise funds for the podcast: https://www.gofundme.com/f/v9jgf-things-musicians-dont-talk-aboutFind TMDTA on all the socials at @tmdtapodcast Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

'On returning from America, I listened back to lots of my old recordings and discovered a paradox: I had no confidence but also thought I deserved more – thought I was better than I really was'. Hattie sits down to share reflections from her trip to America from health anxiety and Curtis, to self-love and deleting dating apps Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This week we interview trumpet player Lucy Humphris about her journey through music college and the contemporary music scene. We speak about the institutional barriers Lucy and others face as a female brass player with a non-traditional career trajectory, sharing her experiences of feeling "othered" and misunderstood. From battling expectations of orchestral conformity to navigating the complex landscape of contemporary music, Lucy reveals the personal and professional struggles of forging her own path. She explores themes of identity, resilience, and the often unspoken challenges musicians face when their artistic vision doesn't align with traditional institutional norms. Lucy inspires us with her story, her dedication to artistic integrity, and the way she's found her place in the contemporary music world. Thank you Lucy!Check her out further:WebsiteYoutubeInstagramThings Musicians Don't Talk About is supported by the Royal Society of Musicians! Follow RSM on Instagram, X and Facebook.-------------------------------------------------------------Support TMDTAWant to support us on a regular basis? Consider joining our Patreon from £1 a month: https://www.patreon.com/tmdtaFeeling generous? Help us raise funds for the podcast: https://www.gofundme.com/f/v9jgf-things-musicians-dont-talk-aboutFind TMDTA on all the socials at @tmdtapodcast-------------------------------------------------------------Hosts: Hattie Butterworth & Rebecca ToalEditor: Rebecca ToalMusic: Katy Ehrlich Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Eating disorders and intense practice obsession have a lot in common. How do we move from an 'all or nothing' mindset to something structured and regular? Becca shares the start to her return to exercise following healing from an eating disorder and Hattie shares the parallels to the toxic relationship she has to the cello and hours of practice Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

There are statements made time and time again when you approach the topic of women in music: 'but historically music by men is just better', 'I'm sick of this wokeism in classical music' and 'people won't buy tickets to concerts of just women's music'. CN Lester and Gillian Moore join us live at the Royal Society of Musicians to unpack these statements and uncover the truth to performance, programming and pessimism around classical women composers.Things Musicians Don't Talk About is supported by the Royal Society of Musicians! Follow RSM on Instagram, X and Facebook.-------------------------------------------------------------Support TMDTAWant to support us on a regular basis? Consider joining our Patreon from £1 a month: https://www.patreon.com/tmdtaFeeling generous? Help us raise funds for the podcast: https://www.gofundme.com/f/v9jgf-things-musicians-dont-talk-aboutFind TMDTA on all the socials at @tmdtapodcast-------------------------------------------------------------Hosts: Hattie Butterworth & Rebecca ToalEditor: Katy EhrlichMusic: Katy Ehrlich Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

10 years ago trombonist Emily White lost her husband after a prolonged period of illness. She was thrown into the worlds of death admin and loneliness, but out of it discovered a perspective on what was important as a musician. She shares with Hattie and Becca an insight into her grief journey, as well as her infectious joy of teaching and hatred of the word 'should'. Emily also takes them through her interest in research about practice and performance optimisation and how much joy is able to impact us positively as musicians.Learn more about Emily here!Things Musicians Don't Talk About is now supported by the Royal Society of Musicians! Follow RSM on Instagram, X and Facebook.-------------------------------------------------------------Support TMDTAWant to support us on a regular basis? Consider joining our Patreon from £1 a month: https://www.patreon.com/tmdtaFeeling generous? Help us raise funds for the podcast: https://www.gofundme.com/f/things-musicians-dont-talk-aboutFind TMDTA on all the socials at @tmdtapodcast-------------------------------------------------------------Hosts: Hattie Butterworth & Rebecca ToalEditor: Oscar GormleyMusic: Katy Ehrlich Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Is capitalism to blame for the mental health crisis? Should we separate the art from the artist? Rebecca and Hattie have been reading non-fiction. And they are sharing two of the books with each other. Naomi Klein's Doppelganger won the Women's Prize for Non-Fiction in 2024 and has had a strong impact since it hit the bookshelves. The pressure for us to 'perform' online is overwhelming, and Becca brings a musician's perspective to Klein's reflections. Then to what appeared to be anti-psychiatry in James Davies's book Sedated. He blames much of our negative mental health experiences on toxic work culture and the flawed nature of CBT. Medication may not have as much of an impact long term as we might like. Hattie has thoughts...Things Musicians Don't Talk About is now supported by the Royal Society of Musicians! Follow RSM on Instagram, X and Facebook.-------------------------------------------------------------Support TMDTAWant to support us on a regular basis? Consider joining our Patreon from £1 a month: https://www.patreon.com/tmdtaFeeling generous? Help us raise funds for the podcast: https://www.gofundme.com/f/things-musicians-dont-talk-aboutFind TMDTA on all the socials at @tmdtapodcast-------------------------------------------------------------Hosts: Hattie Butterworth & Rebecca ToalEditor: Emma WernerMusic: Katy Ehrlich Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Mark Brierley came to the world of classical music via journalism and without any prior knowledge of the industry. Now, as Head of Membership and Communications at the Royal Society of Musicians, he spends every day hearing from musicians about the reality of their lives. He speaks with Hattie at the RSM headquarters about the origins of the 'Fund for Decay'd Musicians', his perspectives on the industry as an 'outsider' and how he's developed a love for it. They also discuss marketing and communications for musicians, how to be heard and the impact of membership at the RSM.Things Musicians Don't Talk About is now supported by the Royal Society of Musicians! Follow RSM on Instagram, X and Facebook.-------------------------------------------------------------Support TMDTAWant to support us on a regular basis? Consider joining our Patreon from £1 a month: https://www.patreon.com/tmdtaFeeling generous? Help us raise funds for the podcast: https://www.gofundme.com/f/things-musicians-dont-talk-aboutFind TMDTA on all the socials at @tmdtapodcast-------------------------------------------------------------Hosts: Hattie ButterworthEditor: Oscar GormleyMusic: Katy Ehrlich Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

It's Becca's turn to sit down for a solo check in with the help of some listener questions. The grief journey continues, as does the freelancing, and Becca reflects on emotional regulation, balancing her various jobs, and processing the death of an abuser.Things Musicians Don't Talk About is now supported by the Royal Society of Musicians! Follow RSM on Instagram, X and Facebook.-------------------------------------------------------------Support TMDTAWant to support us on a regular basis? Consider joining our Patreon from £1 a month: https://www.patreon.com/tmdtaFeeling generous? Help us raise funds for the podcast: https://www.gofundme.com/f/things-musicians-dont-talk-aboutFind TMDTA on all the socials at @tmdtapodcast-------------------------------------------------------------Hosts: Rebecca ToalEditors: Rebecca Toal and @mehrose786Music: Katy Ehrlich Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hattie sits down for a late night chat about everything on her mind this Christmas. New Year's resolutions, jealousy, musician guilt, ambition and the illusion of festivity are chaotically unpacked. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

We asked Linton Stephens to come and speak about authenticity for our first live show at the Royal Society of Musicians. A musician and broadcaster who has been naturally unapologetic about his identity in all corners of his career, living authentically is just part of Linton's everyday. But classical music's fragility means that this type of openness can be hard to find. We discuss Linton's early life, campaigning for women's music, the power of mentioning his boyfriend on the radio, the importance of representation and his views on tokenism. We also open questions up to the audience who come forward with some fantastic questions for Linton.Thank you to RSM for their ongoing support and stay tuned for details of our next live talk.Things Musicians Don't Talk About is now supported by the Royal Society of Musicians! Follow RSM on Instagram, X and Facebook.-------------------------------------------------------------Support TMDTAWant to support us on a regular basis? Consider joining our Patreon from £1 a month: https://www.patreon.com/tmdtaFeeling generous? Help us raise funds for the podcast: https://www.gofundme.com/f/things-musicians-dont-talk-aboutFind TMDTA on all the socials at @tmdtapodcast-------------------------------------------------------------Hosts: Hattie Butterworth & Rebecca ToalEditor & music: Katy Ehrlich Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Back in February we talked with the legend, Jalayne Mitchell. It was such a special episode that we had to keep it brewing for many, many months. Jalayne has since taken a break from Classical Wellness but her message is still so vital and timely.We talk about starting an instrument 'late' and playing catch up, starting a bold project outside the norm, the paralysis of performance anxiety and culture of silence at music college, amongst other things that just aren't cute at all.Thank you Jalayne, not just for the work you've done but also for setting an example of reevaluating priorities and taking time out. Big respect.Things Musicians Don't Talk About is now supported by the Royal Society of Musicians! Follow RSM on Instagram, X and Facebook.-------------------------------------------------------------Support TMDTAWant to support us on a regular basis? Consider joining our Patreon from £1 a month: https://www.patreon.com/tmdtaFeeling generous? Help us raise funds for the podcast: https://www.gofundme.com/f/things-musicians-dont-talk-aboutFind TMDTA on all the socials at @tmdtapodcast-------------------------------------------------------------Hosts: Hattie Butterworth & Rebecca ToalEditor: Oscar GormleyMusic: Katy Ehrlich Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

CW: death; brief mention of disordered eatingWhat happens when someone dies? How do you talk to someone who's lost a parent? What's wrong with the word 'talent'? Do you take on work that makes you uncomfortable? Why are we so scared of Freshers Week? We answer all these questions with absolute authority this week on Things Musicians Don't Talk About!Grab a cuppa, walk the dog/child, endure the commute, or simply rawdog this episode. We have a chinwag, a catchup and put the world to rights as per usual.Things Musicians Don't Talk About is now supported by the Royal Society of Musicians! Follow RSM on Instagram, X and Facebook.------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Support TMDTAWant to support us on a regular basis? Consider joining our Patreon from £1 a month: https://www.patreon.com/tmdtaFeeling generous? Help us raise funds for the podcast: https://www.gofundme.com/f/things-musicians-dont-talk-aboutFind TMDTA on all the socials at @tmdtapodcast------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Hosts: Hattie Butterworth & Rebecca ToalEditor: Rebecca ToalMusic: Katy Ehrlich Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

The start of an unedited series of podcasts.TW: mental illnessHattie shares the story of her 2017 nervous breakdown and reads a blog she wrote about it back in August. She also answers questions about breakdowns and whether she worries about them returning Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

When cellist Matthew Barley was 16 he tried to take his own life following a drug-induced psychotic episode. He then went on to channel everything into music until in 2019 the trauma of the event resurfaced.We speak to Matthew about his experience of psychosis, looking back on his experiences and the process of trauma therapy and the impact of ayahuasca. He takes us through writing music for his new album based on the events and discusses the way the classical music world views mental health conditionsmatthewbarley.com-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------Things Musicians Don't Talk About is now supported by the Royal Society of Musicians! Follow them on Instagram, X and Facebook.------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Support TMDTAWant to support us on a regular basis? Consider joining our Patreon from £1 a month: https://www.patreon.com/tmdtaFeeling generous? Help us raise funds for the podcast: https://www.gofundme.com/f/things-musicians-dont-talk-aboutFind TMDTA on all the socials at @tmdtapodcast------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Hosts: Hattie Butterworth & Rebecca ToalEditor: Katy EhrlichMusic: Katy Ehrlich Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This was a big one for Things Musicians Don't Talk About: our first live show!!!! We are so grateful to the London Podcast Festival for inviting us to take the stage with the exceptional Ayanna Witter-Johnson.Hattie and Becca talked a little bit about the conception of the podcast and their own mental health journeys, and then chatted with Ayanna about her background and career in music. Ayanna talks brilliantly about the intricacies of making her own unique career despite not fitting into a traditional classical music pathway, and elaborates on feeling like an outsider, failures and rejections, and her process of making art from trauma and experiences of colourism.We end with our usual Wins of the Week and take some truly excellent questions from the audience, and were truly blown away by all our fans that came to watch the show! Massive thanks to the Kings Place & London Podcast Festival team who made the day an absolute joy and really supported our audience to have the best experience possible.Follow Ayanna on Instagram X Facebook and her website------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Things Musicians Don't Talk About is now supported by the Royal Society of Musicians! Follow them on Instagram, X and Facebook.------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Support TMDTAWant to support us on a regular basis? Consider joining our Patreon from £1 a month: https://www.patreon.com/tmdtaFeeling generous? Help us raise funds for the podcast: https://www.gofundme.com/f/things-musicians-dont-talk-aboutFind TMDTA on all the socials at @tmdtapodcast (Instagram Facebook)------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Hosts: Hattie Butterworth & Rebecca ToalEditor: Rebecca ToalMusic: Katy Ehrlich & Ayanna Witter-Johnson Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

We're back with our first interview after the summer! The brilliant Laure Chan speaks with Hattie and Becca about her cross-cultural, genre-bending creative endeavours and her journey to musical authenticity.How did Laure get into composing whilst already being an established violinist? How does she explore her own identity through the medium of music? How did her shoulder injury affect her outlook on making music? Find out by listening to Things Musicians Don’t Talk About.Follow Laure on Instagram TikTok Youtube Spotify or visit her website------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Things Musicians Don't Talk About is now supported by the Royal Society of Musicians! Follow them on Instagram, X and Facebook.------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Support TMDTAWant to support us on a regular basis? Consider joining our Patreon from £1 a month: https://www.patreon.com/tmdtaFeeling generous? Help us raise funds for the podcast: https://www.gofundme.com/f/things-musicians-dont-talk-aboutFind TMDTA on all the socials at @tmdtapodcast------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Host: Hattie Butterworth & Rebecca ToalEditor: Emma WernerMusic: Katy Ehrlich Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Trigger warning: eating disorders, weight (no specific numbers)A different format of episode this week! Becca reads out her latest blog on her body, her identity and her fears about the possibility of a life of ‘sizing-up’.She answers some questions afterwards about the blog, talking about the male gaze, the concept of numbers in recovery and the physicality of trumpet playing.------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Things Musicians Don't Talk About is now supported by the Royal Society of Musicians! Follow them on Instagram, X and Facebook.------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Support TMDTAWant to support us on a regular basis? Consider joining our Patreon from £1 a month: https://www.patreon.com/tmdtaFeeling generous? Help us raise funds for the podcast: https://www.gofundme.com/f/things-musicians-dont-talk-aboutFind TMDTA on all the socials at @tmdtapodcast------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Host: Rebecca ToalEditor: Rebecca ToalMusic: Katy Ehrlich Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Reflecting on recent trips back to our former music schools and colleges, we chat about the complex emotions that arise when revisiting places of past trauma. We discuss the challenges of addressing mental health in educational settings, wondering if our message is relevant to current students, and the lasting impact of architecture and locations on our wellbeing. We also explore the nuances of loneliness, and share our personal journeys of making peace with specific London locations. Link to the book recommended by Becca: https://www.olivialaing.com/lonely-city------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Things Musicians Don't Talk About is now supported by the Royal Society of Musicians! Follow them on Instagram, X and Facebook.------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Support TMDTAWant to support us on a regular basis? Consider joining our Patreon from £1 a month: https://www.patreon.com/tmdtaFeeling generous? Help us raise funds for the podcast: https://www.gofundme.com/f/things-musicians-dont-talk-aboutFind TMDTA on all the socials at @tmdtapodcast------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Hosts: Hattie Butterworth & Rebecca ToalEditor: Rebecca ToalMusic: Katy Ehrlich Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

When cellist Ruth Philips was 29 and studying in America, she left her room as she wanted it to be found after her death. So certain was she that the performance approaching her would be the end of her life.Now, Ruth is sought after for her whole, integrative approach as a cello teacher, mindfulness practitioner and performance coach. She speaks to us about her journey towards discovering mindfulness, reframing the word 'practice' and encouraging others to consider the violent language we frequently use as musicians and music teachers. We explore how kindness and self-love can be a difficult choice if a rigid practice routine has provided comfort, and consider how we can take steps towards a more whole perspective of practice within the music sector.Discover Ruth Philips here-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------Things Musicians Don't Talk About is now supported by the Royal Society of Musicians! Follow them on Instagram, X and Facebook.------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Support TMDTAWant to support us on a regular basis? Consider joining our Patreon from £1 a month: https://www.patreon.com/tmdtaFeeling generous? Help us raise funds for the podcast: https://www.gofundme.com/f/things-musicians-dont-talk-aboutFind TMDTA on all the socials at @tmdtapodcast------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Hosts: Hattie Butterworth & Rebecca ToalEditor: Hattie ButterworthMusic: Katy Ehrlich Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

We thought we'd celebrate hitting 3,000 Instagram followers as some sort of milestone in this crazy journey to cultivate much-needed honesty in the music industry! Every follower, every listener we connect with feels like a little headway in making change in the culture. In this episode, we take some time to look back on our podcast journey so far, reminiscing about how we became a duo and how TMDTA has grown over the past 4 years. Thanks to questions from our listeners, we also reflect on our personal experiences with mental health, music schools, and our hopes about what has changed since we were school pupils. We ponder on the challenges of giving and receiving feedback in musical workplaces, as well our continuing commitment to being transparent about our struggles and aiming to bring others' stories to light. Thanks for being here with us and here's to our ever-expanding community ❤️ ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Things Musicians Don't Talk About is now supported by the Royal Society of Musicians! Follow them on Instagram, X and Facebook.------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Support TMDTAWant to support us on a regular basis? Consider joining our Patreon from £1 a month: https://www.patreon.com/tmdtaFeeling generous? Help us raise funds for the podcast: https://www.gofundme.com/f/things-musicians-dont-talk-aboutFind TMDTA on all the socials at @tmdtapodcast------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Hosts: Hattie Butterworth & Rebecca ToalEditor: Rebecca ToalMusic: Katy Ehrlich Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this episode of Things Musicians Don't Talk About, Becca sits down with Chloé van Soeterstède in her dressing room at the Royal College of Music. Chloé shares her personal experiences of working as a musician alongside pregnancy and then motherhood. She walks us through her journey - from figuring out with her manager when might be the best time to get pregnant, to performing while visibly pregnant and giving birth naturally with the aid of mental preparation. Chloé also opens up about challenges like pumping breastmilk between rehearsals on tour and traveling internationally with a newborn, and making sure to be honest about her capacities through such a huge life transformation. Becca and Chloé emphasise how rare and important it is for musicians to discuss the realities of pregnancy and parenthood, and Chloé’s honest and candid story provides a much-needed glimpse into navigating this challenging but rewarding career stage.Follow Chloé on Instagram and witness more of her brilliant honesty!Check out her website and on X------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------We always love to hear from our listeners, and if you like the show why not recommend to a friend or leave a review?------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Things Musicians Don't Talk About is now supported by the Royal Society of Musicians! Follow them on Instagram, X and Facebook.------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Support TMDTAWant to support us on a regular basis? Consider joining our Patreon from £1 a month: https://www.patreon.com/tmdtaFeeling generous? Help us raise funds for the podcast: https://www.gofundme.com/f/things-musicians-dont-talk-aboutFind TMDTA on all the socials at @tmdtapodcast------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Hosts: Hattie Butterworth & Rebecca ToalEditor: Katy EhrlichMusic: Katy Ehrlich Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Another chatty episode for you lovely lot! This was recorded for our last Voices radio slot in February 2023. Hattie and Becca chat about queerness in classical music, exploring our opinions on the films Tár and Maestro, and how we feel power dynamics and hero-worship were portrayed in them. As we've seen over the past few decade or so, teacher-student relationships can be such a dangerous environment if those positions of authority are abused, and so we take a further look into what exactly it is about them that musicians don't talk about and why.We always love to hear from our listeners, and if you like the show why not recommend to a friend or leave a review?------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Things Musicians Don't Talk About is now supported by the Royal Society of Musicians! Follow them on Instagram, X and Facebook.------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Support TMDTAWant to support us on a regular basis? Consider joining our Patreon from £1 a month: https://www.patreon.com/tmdtaFeeling generous? Help us raise funds for the podcast: https://www.gofundme.com/f/things-musicians-dont-talk-aboutFind TMDTA on all the socials at @tmdtapodcast ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Hosts: Hattie Butterworth & Rebecca ToalEditor: Rebecca ToalMusic: Katy Ehrlich Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This week we come to you (unintentionally) from the Royal Opera House! We speak with composer, theatre-maker, and journalist Zygmund de Somogyi about growing up with Autism Spectrum Disorder, not fitting in to the classical music world, discovering the world of composing, their experiences of imposter syndrome and feeling disconnected from the world around them. Zyggy is now studying opera composition and discusses how they fell into opera and what it's like to work as an opera composer in the current climate. Thank you to Zyggy for their brilliant honesty and commitment to talk about the things musicians don't talk about.Follow Zyggy on:WebsiteEmail (enquires)Email (press)InstagramXYoutubeSoundcloudJoin us on Things Musicians Don't Talk About for more honest chats about life as musicians. We always love to hear from our listeners, and if you like the show why not recommend to a friend or leave a review?------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Things Musicians Don't Talk About is now supported by the Royal Society of Musicians! Follow them on Instagram, X and Facebook.------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Support TMDTAWant to support us on a regular basis? Consider joining our Patreon from £1 a month: https://www.patreon.com/tmdtaFeeling generous? Help us raise funds for the podcast: https://www.gofundme.com/f/things-musicians-dont-talk-about------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Hosts: Hattie Butterworth & Rebecca ToalEditor: Patrick Emeribe Music: Katy Ehrlich Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

TW: sexual assault we do discuss an experience of sexual assault/harassment about halfway through the episode so feel free to skip through / give this one a miss <3 We recorded this episode as part of our Voices Radio residency after the hazy summer of 2023. We took a break from the podcast for a couple of months and reflect on our individual experiences of said break. But just because *we were on a break*, doesn't mean our little brains weren't pondering the music biz. What about critics commenting on musicians' bodies and the deeply-engrained societal fatphobia? How do you even write about Maria Callas without talking about her mental health? What about summer depression as a freelancer? What about the expected exhaustion that comes hand-in-hand with youth orchestras and academies? How about sexual assault and the difficult situation that puts the victim in when the perpetrator is a colleague? Join us on Things Musicians Don't Talk About for more honest chats about life as musicians. We always love to hear from our listeners, and if you like the show why not recommend to a friend or leave a review?------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Things Musicians Don't Talk About is now supported by the Royal Society of Musicians! Follow them on Instagram, X and Facebook.------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Support TMDTAWant to support us on a regular basis? Consider joining our Patreon from £1 a month: https://www.patreon.com/tmdtaFeeling generous? Help us raise funds for the podcast: https://www.gofundme.com/f/things-musicians-dont-talk-about------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Recorded in September 2023 for Voices RadioHosts: Hattie Butterworth & Rebecca ToalEditor: Rebecca ToalMusic: Katy Ehrlich Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

A very Happy New Year from us at TMDTA! To kick off 2024, we have an episode recorded waaaaay back last year with the joyous James Partridge. We speak to him about his very unique career, bringing 'primary school bangers' to the masses and what life is like as a social media sensation. Why do these primary school hymns unlock 100% FEELS in us and what does James think about music education? Find out here on Things Musicians Don't Talk About.Follow James on:Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jamesbpartridge/TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@jamesbpartridgeWebsite: https://www.jamesbpartridge.com/------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Things Musicians Don't Talk About is now supported by the Royal Society of Musicians! Follow them on Instagram, X and Facebook.------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Support TMDTAWant to support us on a regular basis? Consider joining our Patreon for £3 a month: https://www.patreon.com/tmdtaFeeling generous? Help us raise funds for the podcast: https://www.gofundme.com/f/things-musicians-dont-talk-about------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Editor: Rebecca ToalMusic: Katy Ehrlich Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

On our Voices Radio slot this month, Becca interviewed DJ Jess Hands about her experiences with mental illness and how making music has been a healing distraction from her struggles. We hear her honest account of what it's like to go through mental health crises, bipolar disorder and to get to grips with simultaneously working as a DJ. Jessica's bio:"My name is Jessica Hands, DJ name Jess Hands, a lover for all things bass and wonky sounds. I have bi polar type 1 and BPD, I am here to share my experience to help myself but, also to let me people know its ok to be open and can really help, music has been so healing for me, but of course brings it’s own worries, thank you for the space to share my story and if anyone wants to reach out for advice of course I’m happy to listen and help. ❤️"Jessica's instagram------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Things Musicians Don't Talk About is now supported by the Royal Society of Musicians!------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Support TMDTAWant to support us on a regular basis? Consider joining our Patreon for £3 a month: https://www.patreon.com/tmdtaFeeling generous? Help us raise funds for the podcast: https://www.gofundme.com/f/things-musicians-dont-talk-about------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Follow the Royal Society of Musicians:Instagram: @rsmgbTwitter: @RSMusiciansFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/royalsocietyofmusiciansEditor: Rebecca Toal & @noumaneditsMusic: Katy Ehrlich Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Welcome back! This week we speak with astounding trumpet soloist, Simon Höfele, taking a peek behind the scenes of his stunning international career to discuss the reality of it all. We chat about Simon's fortunate journey to becoming a soloist and how his ultimate love is for creating music (especially the contemporary kind), using the trumpet as a tool to achieve that. Simon also works part-time as a very cool hipster barista which he describes almost like 'paid therapy' - a form of distraction and space away from the trumpet to keep him grounded. Stay tuned to find out the piece of music he ranks 'The Most Disgusting' too.------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Things Musicians Don't Talk About is now supported by the Royal Society of Musicians!Follow the Royal Society of Musicians:Instagram: @rsmgbTwitter: @RSMusiciansFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/royalsocietyofmusicians------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Support TMDTAWant to support us on a regular basis? Consider joining our Patreon for £3 a month: https://www.patreon.com/tmdtaFeeling generous? Help us raise funds for the podcast: https://www.gofundme.com/f/things-musicians-dont-talk-aboutWant to gift us a Kofi? Click here!------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Editor: Federico (@mixinghacks)Music: Katy Ehrlich------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Follow Things Musicians Don't Talk About on:InstagramXFacebook Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Composer Gavin Higgins found that music was the only thing calmed his severe facial tics as a young kid. After an assessment at the Maudsley Hospital, Gavin was diagnosed with Tourettes and Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. He was put on Prozac and told to snap a rubber band on his wrist to take away his intrusive thoughts.A lot has changed in the treatment of mental illnesses, but what's the reality behind living with two severe conditions as an award-winning composer? And why is Gavin so determined to raise awareness? Hattie and Gavin chat in this episode about OCD, Tourettes, generational OCD themes, trauma from writing an opera, the industry as it stands and how things need to change.Find Gavin's website hereAnd his Instagram------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Things Musicians Don't Talk About is now supported by the Royal Society of Musicians!------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Support TMDTAWant to support us on a regular basis? Consider joining our Patreon for £3 a month: https://www.patreon.com/tmdtaFeeling generous? Help us raise funds for the podcast: https://www.gofundme.com/f/things-musicians-dont-talk-about------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Follow the Royal Society of Musicians:Instagram: @rsmgbTwitter: @RSMusiciansFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/royalsocietyofmusiciansEditor: Hattie ButterworthMusic: Katy Ehrlich Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

It's our first sneaky peaky Patreon preview! Welcome through this little creaky door in the paywall to hear 5 minutes of exclusive content that we recorded last Halloween!In this episode, Hattie, Katy and Becca scare the living daylights outta themselves by reading feedback ranging from grade 8 to graduate scheme rejections. We also have a little rant about assessing music as a subjective art form, and Hattie shares a story with us that we had to bleep out because it was too gross. If you fancy accessing the *whole* episode and much more, head to https://www.patreon.com/tmdta!------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Things Musicians Don't Talk About is now supported by the Royal Society of Musicians!The Royal Society of Musicians is Britain’s oldest music charity and our aims remain as relevant today as they were in the earliest years – to provide vital financial assistance, advice and guidance to those professionally active in the world of music but who are unable to work due to accident, illness, stress or anxiety. Being a charity run by musicians for musicians, we are uniquely placed to fully understand the challenges faced within the profession.Follow the Royal Society of Musicians on:Instagram: @rsmgbTwitter: @RSMusiciansFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/royalsocietyofmusicians------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Support TMDTAWant to support us on a regular basis? Consider joining our Patreon for £3 a month: https://www.patreon.com/tmdtaGot a few pennies to spare? Buy us a Kofi! https://ko-fi.com/thingsmusiciansdonttalkaboutFeeling extra generous? Help us raise funds for the podcast: https://www.gofundme.com/f/things-musicians-dont-talk-aboutFollow us on all the socials: @tmdtapodcastEditor: Katy Ehrlich & Rebecca ToalMusic: Katy Ehrlich Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This episode is dedicated to Koshka’s wonderful piano teacher, Niel Immelman, who sadly passed away since it was recorded - and who made it all possible.TW// sexual violence and assault, physical assault, police brutalityBecca first came across today's guest when she stumbled upon her collection of essays, Abolishing the Police. Philosophy professor, Koshka Duff (University of Nottingham), was largely inspired to compile this collection of essays on policing, dissent and abolition after her own traumatic experiences with the police. In 2013, when studying a Masters in piano performance at the Royal College of Music, Koshka was arrested after offering legal advice to a teenager undergoing a racist stop and search. She describes how the police assaulted her and left her with physical and psychological damage that continued to impact her life long after the event: she suspended her studies and had to confront the devastating possibility that she may never play the piano again. Koshka was able to return for her final recital a year after the event, and set out on a mission to heal by 'making and making up music' with her band, Stolen Goods, and via a pain management course through the NHS. The injuries left her with chronic pain that she still deals with, though more now as a "companion, rather than always an antagonist."Koshka's album featuring several tracks recorded at her final recitalCD liner notesThe Stolen Goods EP------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Things Musicians Don't Talk About is now supported by the Royal Society of Musicians!------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Support TMDTAWant to support us on a regular basis? Consider joining our Patreon for £3 a month: https://www.patreon.com/tmdtaFeeling generous? Help us raise funds for the podcast: https://www.gofundme.com/f/things-musicians-dont-talk-about------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Follow the Royal Society of Musicians:Instagram: @rsmgbTwitter: @RSMusiciansFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/royalsocietyofmusiciansEditor: Kaileigh EatonMusic: Katy Ehrlich Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.