This Ain’t Advice

Summer is supposed to be the best time of our lives. No school, more freedom, longer days, vacations, parties, new friends, new relationships, and sometimes the dumbest decisions we’ll ever make. Most of us have at least one summer where we acted like we had absolutely no sense. But hidden inside those chaotic memories are lessons we never would’ve learned any other way.Today we’re talking about the wildest things we’ve done, the summers that changed us forever, the mistakes that cost us something, and the lessons life taught us whether we were ready to learn them or not.Ever wonder if the Summer of '18 was just a wild ride or a c

This Ain't Advice Episode 11 0 Everybody Wants a VillageEverybody says they want a village.We hear it all the time: "Nobody supports each other anymore." "I wish I had a community." "It takes a village." But if everyone wants connection, why do so many people feel alone?In a world dominated by social media, burnout, financial stress, and constant distractions, genuine community seems harder to find than ever. People are more connected digitally than at any point in history, yet loneliness continues to rise. So what happened?This week, we're diving into the state of modern community—why people struggle to show up for each other, how isolation impacts our lives, and whether we've confused independence with disconnection. We'll talk about the difference between being alone and being lonely, the role social media plays in our relationships, the dangers of finding yourself in the wrong community, and what older generations may have understood about connection that we've forgotten.Most importantly, we're asking a simple question: If everybody wants a village, why aren't we building one?Because at the end of the day, community can be one of the greatest forces in your life—or one of the most destructive. The people around you can shape your identity, challenge your beliefs, support your growth, or pull you further away from who you're trying to become.So let's talk about what it means to belong, what responsibility we owe the people around us, and what we can do today to create stronger connections in a world that feels increasingly disconnected.Because maybe the village isn't gone.Maybe we're just waiting for someone else to build it.

Everybody wants a dog until it’s 3 AM, there’s throw up on the carpet, the vet bill is $2,400, and suddenly, your entire emotional stability depends on a creature that eats socks.We’re tapping into caregiver responsibilities, grief (Can skip/dial back), emotional attachment, love, and mortality. Everyone wants a dog or most. People do. But nobody talks about the reality of having a dog. The vet bills, the PUPPY stage, the laughs, and the tears. So why do we sign ourselves up for the great heartbreak of all time?IDC what people say, pets are like children, and they teach the most valuable lessons. So let’s discuss the lessons: the good and the bad.The biggest question is, would you do it again? 

This episode isn’t about sex itself; it’s about the choices we make around it.We’re talking about the gap between what we say we want versus how we actually move in real life. The impulsive decisions, the pressure, the curiosity… and sometimes the regret that follows.We’re also getting into how our early understanding of sex shaped us, how we approached our first experiences, and how that shows up in how we move today.1. The Risk vs Reward- Conflict We all know sex can come with consequences physically, emotionally, and mentally.So if we know the risks… why do we still make reckless decisions in the moment?What are we really chasing: the experience… or the feeling behind it?2. Virginity (The Lie vs The Reality)- Personal experienceWe’re told virginity is sacred, something to protect, something that matters.But most people don’t actually treat it that way when the moment comes.So what really drives that decision?Was it your choice… or were you influenced by pressure, validation, curiosity… or just being horny?3. The Pattern Nobody Talks About- IdentityWe all say we have a “type.”We talk about standards, what we want, what we deserve…But if you look at your actual track record do your actions match what you say?Or are you entertaining people you would never claim out loud?

Most of us are our own worst enemies, but the real punchline? We don’t even realize it — doubt masquerades as logic, timing, or “not being ready,” stopping dreams in their tracks. If you’ve ever felt like fear is just a smarter, more convincing version of doubt, this episode is your wake-up call to spot the impostor hiding in plain sight.Brandon "The Boy" Simms dives deep into the tricky terrain of doubting yourself. How it sneaks up as a mold on your ambitions or a fog on your future. He chats with Gabby, who’s coached herself through doubts about love, career, and self-worth, ultimately realizing that the biggest barrier was, surprise, herself. Together, they break down how doubt acts like a cloud or fog, and why the fear of failure isn’t the enemy—you’re sabotaging your own success long before the first step.You’ll discover: how doubt disguises itself as overthinking, obsession with control, or external validation — plus practical ways to evict the little voice that says “you can’t.” We break down the power of tiny steps, boundary-setting, trusting your intuition, and falling forward—literally—when doubt whispers “don’t.” Gabby shares her own eye-opening moments, from childhood doubts to mastering the art of the “fall forward” mentality, all wrapped in humor and real talk.

In honor of Mother’s Day, Brandon is joined by the woman behind the legendary phrase:“I’m not one of your little friends.” 😭But somewhere between childhood rules, grown conversations, cocktails, and one unforgettable strip club story… the line between parent and friend started getting a little blurry.This week on This Ain’t Advice, Brandon and his mom unpack the awkward, hilarious, and surprisingly emotional transition from authority figure to confidant. They talk about strict parenting, social media, independence, autism, boundaries, and the reality of raising kids in a world that looks nothing like the one parents grew up in.Can your parent become your friend?Should they?And at what point do you realize your mom might actually be cool?Funny, chaotic, heartfelt, and just a little messy. This episode is a reminder that no matter how old you get, they’ll always be your parent first… even if they accidentally become your homegirl too.Follow us on all platforms @thisaintadvice

In this episode, Of This Ain't Advice, host Brandon "The Boy" Simms and guest Grace flip the classic AITA trend right on its head by telling their own AITA stories.This episode explores personal stories of crossing boundaries, misunderstandings, and lessons learned in relationships and life. They discuss accountability, trust, insecurities, and the importance of self-awareness through real-life examples.So are you ready to cast your vote and tell us...Were we the asshole?

This week on This Ain’t Advice, we’re talking about the version of you that doesn’t perform.The one that exists when the room is empty.No audience. No expectations. No masks.Because somewhere along the way, most of us learned that being “ourselves” came with consequences.Maybe it cost you opportunities. Maybe it cost you acceptance. Maybe it cost you safety.So now the question becomes…are you protecting yourself… or abandoning yourself?We’re getting into:* The first time you realized being yourself wasn’t always “safe”* The difference between self-preservation and self-betrayal* What you’ve lost—and gained—by choosing authenticity* Navigating identity, perception, and safety as a Black individual* And the real reason fear keeps showing up when it’s time to be seenThis isn’t about “just be yourself.”It’s about understanding who that even is, and whether you’ve ever truly met them.Because at the end of the day…when nobody’s watching,who are you?Follow us on all Platforms @Thisaintadvice

Is “Daddy” something you become automatically through biology… or something you earn through consistency, protection, and presence?This episode unpacks one of the most complicated relationships many of us carry — the one with our fathers. It challenges the idea that biology alone makes someone a dad, and explores the difference between being a father… and actually showing up as one.We break down three common lies:Lie #1: Biology automatically qualifies someone to be a father.Every man may have the ability to be a father — but not everyone becomes a dad. As children, we often see our parents through a softened lens. But as adults, that perspective shifts. Were they always this way… or are we just finally seeing clearly?Lie #2: If your father was present at some point, you were fathered.We’re raised with a picture-perfect idea of what a man should be — strong, present, dependable. So why do so many people grow up confused about what a “real man” actually looks like? If our fathers set the standard, why does it take so long to find someone who meets it — or to become that person ourselves?Lie #3: If he left, failed, or split his loyalty… you must have deserved it.We’re told “a man protects his family.” But what does protection really mean? Can someone claim to protect one family while building another? Fathers are supposed to be teachers — but what happens when the biggest lesson they leave you with is absence?Does absence teach strength… or abandonment?Independence… or emotional distance?At the core of it all:Being a father is biological.Being a dad might be something you have to earn.

On this episode of This Ain’t Advice, we’re unpacking weight loss, body image, and the idea of perfection.Why is it that everyone else can see our beauty but we can’t?We talk about the pressure to look a certain way, the version of ourselves we’re constantly chasing, and the lies we tell ourselves about what happiness is supposed to look like. From past versions of us we glorify to the current version we struggle to accept, this conversation gets real about what it means to feel “enough.”Real stories. Real opinions. And a reminder that perfection might not be what we think it is.I’m your host Brandon “The Boy” Simms, and welcome to This Ain’t Advice

On this episode of This Ain’t Advice, we explore the challenges faced by Black professionals in corporate America. Despite being more qualified than their peers, many find themselves stagnant. Is it truly a matter of being overqualified, or is it about not engaging in the unspoken rules of the corporate game? We delve into the societal expectations that encourage Black professionals to remain passive and grateful, and discuss the potential sacrifices involved in actively participating to succeed. Join us as we question the cost of playing the game and the impact it has on personal and professional growth.Follow us on all platforms @thisaintadvice

A quick listen into what this podcast is all about! I can't wait to bring you on this journey with me. I'm your host, Brandon "The Boy" Simms, and welcome to This Ain't Advice