PODCAST · kids
This Is Not What I Was Expecting
by Parent Alliance
If you've ever looked around at other parents and wondered, "How is everyone else making this look easy?" you're in the right place.We're a group of (mostly) moms who get together every other week to talk honestly about what parenting is really like. Not the polished version. The real version.Maybe you're trying to figure out bedtime, screen time, homework, sibling conflicts, or how your child can somehow be starving and refuse every food in the house at the same time. Maybe you're carrying the endless mental load of parenting, the forms, the calendars, the school emails, the appointments, and all the things you're afraid you'll forget.And maybe on top of all that, you're parenting a kiddo with behavioral challenges, anxiety, or other needs that people don't always understand. Which means you're not just parenting, you're also keeping track of medication refills, IEP meetings, therapy appointments, insurance headaches, and everything else that comes with advocating for your child.T
Episodes
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Living With Adult Kids: Boundaries, Money, and Letting Go
You thought turning 18 would change things. Instead, you're still paying for groceries, coordinating rides, talking about chores, worrying about money, and trying to figure out where parenting ends and adulthood begins. This week we're talking honestly about what it's like when adult children...
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The Friendships you Lose and the One You Find
Friendships change. Sometimes life gets busy. Sometimes we grow in different directions. And sometimes the people we expected to be there just...aren't. This week we're talking about how friendships change through the different seasons of parenting. We share stories about friendships that have...
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When to Step Back and Let Your Teen Figure It Out
Sometimes raising an independent teenager means doing something that feels completely unnatural as a parent: not fixing it. When your teen forgets something, makes a questionable choice, struggles to stay organized, or faces disappointment, it can be incredibly hard not to jump in. Especially…
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When Your Kid Is Melting Down and You’re About to Lose It Too
Need a tool to help you prevent you're own meltdowns? Check out our Emotional Safety Plan worksheet! For one on one support at no cost to parents of children with behavior and mental health challenges in PA visit: https://www.paparentandfamilyalliance.org/one-on-one-help Find out more about the…
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How To Speak Up For Your Child Without Feeling Like That Parent
Have you ever walked out of a school meeting, doctor’s appointment, or conversation about your kid and thought, WHY DIDN’T I SAY THAT?! Same. Speaking up for your child sounds easy until you’re sitting across from someone with a title, a degree, or a whole lot more confidence than you have....
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What's for Dinner? Why This One Question Feels So Overwhelming
If you've ever asked your partner or your kids, "What does everyone want for dinner?" only to hear a chorus of "I don't know," this episode is for you. That one simple question somehow turns into meal planning, grocery shopping, picky eaters, food budgets, sensory needs, and one more decision at...
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The Parenting Badges We Wish Existed
Inspired by a conversation about adulting badges, we're asking our audience what parenting badges they've earned lately while sharing some of our own. From failed family outings and cereal-for-dinner nights to surviving summer break and mountains of laundry, we're creating badges for the…
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When Your Family Doesn't Understand Your Child's Struggles
“Unless you live it, you just don’t understand.” That feeling comes up a lot for parents raising kids who struggle emotionally, behaviorally, socially, or at school. This week we're talking about the grief of feeling unsupported by family — and the relief of finding people who truly see your…
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Your Child Was Excluded by Another Parent… Now What?
One day your child is talking to their friend like normal and the next day they’re told they’re not allowed to be friends anymore. No explanation. No conversation. Just done. This week we’re talking about what it feels like when another parent decides your child isn’t “good enough” and you’re…
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What If Your Kids Don't Remember The Things You Feel Guilty About?
If you’ve ever fed your kids fast food in the car, missed something important, or gone to bed feeling like you didn’t do enough… this episode is for you. We’re talking about mom guilt—the kind that shows up in the middle of busy schedules, expensive groceries, picky eaters, and trying to be...
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Pride, Pressure, and ‘What’s Next?’ After Graduation (The Part No One Talks About)
This week we discuss: What parents wish they had done earlier in high school Transition planning and graduation pathways Supports like OVR and how to access them The emotional shift when your child turns 18 Social challenges and independence after graduation Handling the “what’s next?” question...
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The High Cost of Being a Good Parent Right Now
Everything feels more expensive right now, and parents are the ones carrying the stress of trying to make it all work. Groceries cost more. Gas costs more. Housing costs more. Even the little things add up fast. And when you’re raising kids, especially kids who need extra support, that pressure...
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When Your Life Is a Dumpster Fire But You Still Have to Be a Mom
Some days it feels like your life is a dumpster fire. Other days it feels like the whole world is. Either way, parenting doesn't stop. This week we're talking about what it's like to keep functioning when everything feels overwhelming - whether it's chaos in your own family, stress from the news...
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Why is parenting my teen harder than I expected?
This week is a shorter conversation — because sometimes that’s all we have the bandwidth for. We were told parenting would get easier when our kids got older. We believed it. And then… they got older. The double stroller stress turns into adult-problem stress. The toddler chaos turns into...
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The IEP Says They’re Fine — But Real Life Is Telling a Different Story
This week we’re talking about what happens when the IEP says everything is going well — but real life tells a different story. Grades are passing. Goals are met. On paper, things look fine. And yet many parents still feel uneasy, especially as their kids get closer to transition age. We talk...
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When Everyone's Needs Are Urgent and Yours Are Always Last
When you’re parenting, it can feel like everyone’s needs are urgent — kids, appointments, school calls, medications, work — and somehow your own stuff always ends up last on the list. This week Melissa, Tracy, and Perl talk about the invisible load parents carry when they’re managing multiple...
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Extended School Year: What Parents Should Be Thinking About Now
If your child has an IEP, Extended School Year (ESY) might already be on your radar — or coming soon. This week we break down what ESY is meant to do, how schools make decisions, and how parents can push back when a “canned program” doesn’t fit. We also talk honestly about work schedules,...
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Parenting Is Problem-Solving Until You’re Allowed to Sleep
Some days parenting feels like fixing one thing after another until you finally get to go to bed. Homework, food, school stuff, schedules, money, feelings — you solve what’s in front of you, then something else pops up. None of it feels dramatic on its own. It’s just constant. And that’s why it’s...
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Grab a Pen. We're Taking a Break
This week, we’re inviting you to take a break with us. No advice, no fixing, no agenda — just a few parents sitting together, coloring, chatting, and letting our brains rest for a bit. We start by watching a short art video together (we’ll tell you where to find it), then we grab whatever pens or...
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Raising Independent Kids
This week we’re talking about independence — the fears, the victories, the slow progress, and the strength it takes (for us and them). If you’ve ever wondered whether you’re doing enough or pushing too hard, this one’s for you. For one on one support at no cost to parents of children with…
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Parenting in the Digital Age
This week we’re talking about what it’s really like raising kids surrounded by technology, from YouTube videos that aren’t as “kid-friendly” as they seem to the way schools are using (and sometimes struggling with) AI. We swap stories about trying to keep our kids safe online, help them use tech...
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Parenting in the Digital Age
This week we’re talking about what it’s really like raising kids surrounded by technology, from YouTube videos that aren’t as “kid-friendly” as they seem to the way schools are using (and sometimes struggling with) AI. We swap stories about trying to keep our kids safe online, help them use tech...
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Because Sometimes Parenting Takes Creativity
This week we’re talking about the creative side of parenting, the everyday moments when we have to improvise, adapt, and come up with solutions on the fly. From navigating school projects to surviving themed dress-up days and holiday chaos, sometimes it’s not about being perfect. It’s about…
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Making Memories, Not Debt
We’re getting real about the stress that starts before the holidays — the planning, the spending, and the pressure to make it all perfect. We’re also talking about how tech tools and simple systems (like chore charts!) can make family life feel a little easier. A warm, funny chat for parents…
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Roblox, Screen Time, and Sanity
This week we’re talking about the Roblox takeover—endless screen time battles, kids begging for Robux, and parents just trying to hang on to their sanity. If you’ve ever wondered how much is too much (or how to make the “you’ve had enough” conversation meltdown-free), this one’s for you. For one…
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Homework battles and WiFi Wars
There’s nothing like back-to-school season to remind us that kids are creative negotiators. From “forgetting” assignments to late-night Wi-Fi wars, this week we’re laughing through the chaos and reminding every parent you’re not the only one. For one on one support at no cost to parents of…
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When Insurance Says No (Again)
This week we’re talking about the all-too-familiar battle with insurance. From surprise denials to sky-high medication costs, parents know the frustration of fighting for what their kids need. You’re not alone - and we’re sharing stories, laughs, and strategies to keep going. We talked about PA...
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I love my kids but also, please go back to school!
This week we're talking about the joys (and chaos) of summer break —nonstop snacks, sibling fights, messy houses, and the mental math of just how many weeks are left. If you're feeling touched out, overstimulated, or like you’ve had 47 conversations about popsicles before noon... you're in good...
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It’s Not Just You. Friendships Are Hard
This week we’re talking about the heartbreak, confusion, and awkwardness that can come with our kids’ friendships—or lack of them. Whether your child has trouble making friends, keeps getting left out, or has one intense friendship that implodes overnight, we’ve been there. We share the real…
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We Get Therapy for Our Kids—But What About Us?
We're quick to get our kids the therapy they need—but what about ourselves? This week we're opening up about the barriers, and the real reasons it’s hard to ask for help. From finding the right therapist to figuring out if it’s even working, we get honest about the challenges of caregiving and...
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I did her homework and only got a 68
Flexible instruction days are nice in theory but they cause a lot of chaos for families! For one on one support at no cost to parents of children with behavior and mental health challenges in PA visit: https://www.paparentandfamilyalliance.org/one-on-one-help Find out more about the PA Parent and...
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No One Prepares You For Senior Year (So We Will)
Senior year hits different when your child struggles. Between IEP meetings, doctors, legal paperwork, and the emotional rollercoaster of “what’s next,” so many parents feel like they’re barely hanging on. This week we talk honestly about the chaos, the questions, and the moments we didn’t see...
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We’re Fine. Totally Fine. Probably.
Storms, screaming kids, no power—and somehow, we’re still standing (barely). This week we're talking about the real chaos of parenting through emergencies, how our kids handle it (spoiler: wildly differently), and why staying calm sometimes means hiding in a closet later. Laugh, relate, and…
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If You Want a Day Off, You Might Have to Plan It Yourself
This week we’re talking about what happens when the people who hold the whole family together get a last-minute group text and a wilting plant. From funny fails to heartfelt moments, we open up about why those supposed "special days" can feel complicated and why it’s okay to set expectations…
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Rediscovering What Fills Your Cup
When was the last time you did something just because it made you feel good? This week we talk about finding simple, personal outlets—like painting, baking, journaling, or even making your own laundry detergent—that help manage stress and bring a little peace into the chaos. No pressure, no...
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Mama’s Tired: The Mental Load Is Real
Let’s be honest—parenting is exhausting, and the stress doesn’t disappear when the kids grow up. This week our moms talk about the constant mental load we carry, from managing school calls and family logistics to trying (and sometimes failing) to find time to breathe. We share real talk…
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Navigating Sibling Dynamics
When one child in the family has mental health or behavioral challenges, it affects everyone—including their siblings. How do you balance attention, make sure no one feels left out, and manage the unique sibling dynamics that come with raising a child who needs more? This week we get real about…
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Parenting Battles
What happens when you and your partner don’t see eye to eye on parenting? From discipline styles to daily decisions, disagreements are inevitable—but they don’t have to lead to all-out war. In this episode, we get real about handling parenting conflicts, finding middle ground, and managing the...
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Chaos, Creativity, and Keeping It Together
What happens when snow days turn into “Flexible Instruction Days”? In this episode, we dive into the highs, lows, and downright hilarious moments of balancing work, kids, and packets of schoolwork. From creative ways to make learning happen (cooking French toast counts as math, right?) to real…
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Flexible instruction days, Christmas Chaos, and Hot Mess Realities.
It’s the holiday season, and we’re diving into the real-life chaos of parenting while trying to manage Flexible Instruction madness, holiday prep, and everything in between. From kids refusing to do packets to mismatched socks for spirit week, we’re sharing the behind-the-scenes mayhem. We talk...
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How about some bad parenting advice?
We’ve all heard it—unsolicited advice from family, friends, and even strangers that ranges from mildly annoying to downright harmful. In this episode, we break down some of the worst parenting advice we’ve received and share how these misconceptions can block us from getting the help our kids…
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From Meal Planning to Meltdowns: Tackling Decision Overload
We talked about the book and cards called Fair Play Life. If you check it out let us know what you think. For one on one support at no cost to parents of children with behavior and mental health challenges in PA visit: https://www.paparentandfamilyalliance.org/one-on-one-help Find out more about...
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Running on Empty: Finding Space for Yourself as a Parent
Parenting doesn’t come with a roadmap, but sometimes it does come with wax in the drain and a pumpkin patch meltdown! Join us as we get real about juggling our own needs with the chaos of family life, from unexpected “kid experiments” to the stress of spirit days, Halloween costumes, and daily...
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Heart over DNA: Mental Health Journeys for Non-Bio Families
Have you met Julia yet? You'll love her just as much as we do as she takes her first turn hosting this week's podcast! Julia leads our group of moms through a deep dive into the unique journey of raising and supporting children who aren't biologically ours. Whether you're an adoptive parent…
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A Little Kindness Goes a Long Way
All it takes is 1 person to roll their eyes or smirk and just like that a difficult situation gets even worse. If you've been there, in public while your kiddo is melting down, you've seen that look and know that feeling. However, there are times when strangers’ simple acts of kindness in the...
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Things We No Longer Do
After decades of advocacy work between us all here's a list of the things we'll no longer do as parent raising kiddos with mental health challenges and just parenting in general. We'd love to hear what's on your list! Share your list in the comments. For one on one support at no cost to parents…
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How Can I Manage It All
As parents we're expected to keep everything moving, on time, while ensuring everyone is safe and taken care of. But how can we balance everyone's needs as well as our own? This week join Melissa, Tracy and Perl as they share the challenges and their tips for keeping all the balls up in the air,...
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Parenting with a mental health challenge
Raising a child who has a behavior or mental health challenge is hard enough but if you're doing it and have a challenge of your own, it's extra hard. On this week's episode we talk about our own challenges and share our tips and tricks for managing. Sometimes it's nice to know that we have a...
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Is it time to make dinner, again?!
Here we are deep into summer and our kids are eating us out of house and home! We're doing our best to keep them busy and enriched all while working a demanding job, from home. Who else can relate? Join us this week as Tracy, Melissa and Chrissy talk about snack deficits, how hard it is teaching...
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Back to School Prep
We're sorry to be the ones to bring it up but our kiddos will be going back to school shortly so our group of moms got together to share some tips and tricks that can help make back to school manageable. For one on one support at no cost to parents of children with behavior and mental health...
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ABOUT THIS SHOW
If you've ever looked around at other parents and wondered, "How is everyone else making this look easy?" you're in the right place.We're a group of (mostly) moms who get together every other week to talk honestly about what parenting is really like. Not the polished version. The real version.Maybe you're trying to figure out bedtime, screen time, homework, sibling conflicts, or how your child can somehow be starving and refuse every food in the house at the same time. Maybe you're carrying the endless mental load of parenting, the forms, the calendars, the school emails, the appointments, and all the things you're afraid you'll forget.And maybe on top of all that, you're parenting a kiddo with behavioral challenges, anxiety, or other needs that people don't always understand. Which means you're not just parenting, you're also keeping track of medication refills, IEP meetings, therapy appointments, insurance headaches, and everything else that comes with advocating for your child.T
HOSTED BY
Parent Alliance
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Frequently Asked Questions
How many episodes does This Is Not What I Was Expecting have?
This Is Not What I Was Expecting currently has 110 episodes available on PodParley. New episodes are automatically indexed when they're published to the podcast feed.
What is This Is Not What I Was Expecting about?
If you've ever looked around at other parents and wondered, "How is everyone else making this look easy?" you're in the right place.We're a group of (mostly) moms who get together every other week to talk honestly about what parenting is really like. Not the polished version. The real version.Maybe...
How often does This Is Not What I Was Expecting release new episodes?
This Is Not What I Was Expecting publishes regularly with 110 episodes available. Check the episode list for the typical release schedule.
Where can I listen to This Is Not What I Was Expecting?
You can listen to This Is Not What I Was Expecting on PodParley by clicking any episode. We provide an embedded audio player for direct listening, and you can also subscribe via your preferred podcast app using the RSS feed.
Who hosts This Is Not What I Was Expecting?
This Is Not What I Was Expecting is created and hosted by Parent Alliance.
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