PODCAST · health
This Was Always Me
by Global
Rich Clarke spent years feeling ashamed of his sexuality. Now he meets others who, for many different reasons, kept theirs hidden - and asks why. From Olympic icon Dame Kelly Holmes to a Zimbabwean refugee and a former Conservative MP, these are unflinching stories of secrecy, shame, and survival.Forget the rainbow-washed headlines... coming out isn't always safe, or even possible. Across 12 gripping episodes, Rich explores the emotional cost of hiding who you are, and what it takes to finally live your truth. Raw, heartfelt, and long overdue. These voices are done hiding.🎧 Subscribe now on Global Player or wherever you get your podcasts.💬 To share your story, email: [email protected]📢 For advertising opportunities, contact: [email protected]
Episodes
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Being Kavana: Anthony Kavanagh on the cost of hiding his sexuality in the 90s pop industry
Anthony Kavanagh speaks to Rich Clarke about the hidden cost of becoming Kavana - a 90s pop star forced to hide his sexuality in an industry where being openly gay felt impossible. From knowing he was gay at 10 to creating a public persona that masked his truth, Anthony reflects on how years of...
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Always There, Never Named: Julie Cohen on embracing her bisexuality in mid-life
Bestselling author Julie Cohen speaks to Rich Clarke about coming out as bisexual in her forties, after more than two decades of marriage and a lifetime of quiet questioning. She reflects on growing up in small-town Maine without the language to understand her feelings, the imposter syndrome that...
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'They Put Me In A Closet & Beat Me': Zarith on his journey to safety & freedom in the UK
Zarith speaks to Rich Clarke about surviving violence, secrecy, and state-sanctioned homophobia... and the long road to finding safety in the UK. Raised in South East Asia, Zarith always knew he was different. But silence felt like the only option in a country where being gay was illegal and the...
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Choosing the ‘Normal’ Life: Al on coming out after marriage, fatherhood & grief
Al speaks to Rich Clarke about growing up feeling different. Not just because he was gay, but because he was half Chinese in a mostly white school, where he was bullied and made to feel like an outsider. In the shadow of the AIDS crisis, with strict parents and no one to turn to, Al stayed…
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Hiding Behind the Uniform: Retired Met officer Josi Clay on coming out as a trans woman
Josi Clay always knew she was different. But growing up in the 1950s, there were no words for how she felt - only the fear that telling anyone could destroy her future. So she stayed silent. At 19, Josi joined the Met Police. For 47 years, she served as a respected officer rising through the…
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Decades of Silence: Norman Goodman on surviving aversion therapy & embracing his bisexual identity in his 70s
Norman Goodman knew he was different from a young age. But it was seen as a mental illness. He faced aversion therapy and electroconvulsive therapy to ‘cure’ his feelings. For decades, Norman hid his bisexuality, even from himself, and lived a life as a husband and nurse. It wasn’t until after…
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From Arranged Marriage & Exorcism to Activism: Moud Goba on escaping Zimbabwe and starting over
Moud Goba speaks to Rich Clarke about her journey from silence to pride. Growing up in Robert Mugabe’s Zimbabwe, she was taught that being gay was sinful, criminal, and impossible. She faced exorcism, was pushed into an arranged marriage, and eventually fled - leaving her home and family behind....
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A Love Hidden For 29 Years: Former Conservative MP Sir Nick Gibb and Michael Simmonds on fear, love and coming out in politics
Sir Nick Gibb and Michael Simmonds have been together for 38 years, but kept their relationship hidden from the world until 2015 - the year they married. Nick knew he was gay from university and accepted it, but as a Conservative MP, he felt he had to keep his personal life private to protect his...
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'Created perfect, but made flawed’: Gail Rose on how she found self-acceptance after conversion therapy at Church
Gail Rose spent decades believing she couldn’t be both gay and Christian. After becoming a young mum and joining a church that preached same-sex attraction was wrong, Gail kept her true self hidden for years, fearing rejection from her faith and loved ones. She speaks with Rich Clarke about…
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It Was Illegal To Be With The Love Of My Life: Richard Martin on secret heartbreak & waiting until his 60s to come out
Richard Martin joins Rich Clarke to share the story of a love that shaped his life. At university, Richard fell deeply in love with another man. It was a relationship full of hope, but lived in secrecy at a time when being gay was illegal. When his partner returned to America, Richard stayed…
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80 Years In The Wrong Body: Isobel on transitioning in later life, with her wife's blessing
Rich Clarke sits down with Isobel - a remarkable trans woman who underwent gender-affirming surgery at 80. Isobel reflects on a lifetime of hiding her true self, trying to meet the expectations of others as a sailor, firefighter, husband, and father. With honesty and warmth, she shares how her…
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I Wouldn't Be Double Olympic Champion If They'd Found Out I Was Gay: Dame Kelly Holmes on having to hide her sexuality in the army & the spotlight
Rich Clarke speaks with Dame Kelly Holmes, double Olympic gold medallist, former soldier, and proud gay woman, about the reality of hiding her sexuality for 34 years. Kelly reflects on her time in the British Army, when being gay was still illegal, and the constant fear of discovery. She opens up...
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Introducing: This Was Always Me - Subscribe Now!
What if being yourself meant risking everything? This Was Always Me is a powerful new series hosted by Rich Clarke, launching this Pride Month. Through raw, emotional conversations, it shares the untold stories of people who felt they had to hide their sexuality or gender identity - sometimes…
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ABOUT THIS SHOW
Rich Clarke spent years feeling ashamed of his sexuality. Now he meets others who, for many different reasons, kept theirs hidden - and asks why. From Olympic icon Dame Kelly Holmes to a Zimbabwean refugee and a former Conservative MP, these are unflinching stories of secrecy, shame, and survival.Forget the rainbow-washed headlines... coming out isn't always safe, or even possible. Across 12 gripping episodes, Rich explores the emotional cost of hiding who you are, and what it takes to finally live your truth. Raw, heartfelt, and long overdue. These voices are done hiding.🎧 Subscribe now on Global Player or wherever you get your podcasts.💬 To share your story, email: [email protected]📢 For advertising opportunities, contact: [email protected]
HOSTED BY
Global
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Frequently Asked Questions
How many episodes does This Was Always Me have?
This Was Always Me currently has 13 episodes available on PodParley. New episodes are automatically indexed when they're published to the podcast feed.
What is This Was Always Me about?
Rich Clarke spent years feeling ashamed of his sexuality. Now he meets others who, for many different reasons, kept theirs hidden - and asks why. From Olympic icon Dame Kelly Holmes to a Zimbabwean refugee and a former Conservative MP, these are unflinching stories of secrecy, shame, and...
How often does This Was Always Me release new episodes?
This Was Always Me has 13 episodes. Check the episode list to see recent publication dates and frequency.
Where can I listen to This Was Always Me?
You can listen to This Was Always Me on PodParley by clicking any episode. We provide an embedded audio player for direct listening, and you can also subscribe via your preferred podcast app using the RSS feed.
Who hosts This Was Always Me?
This Was Always Me is created and hosted by Global.
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