PODCAST · society
Thot Topics
by Thot Topics
Thot Topics is a podcast with the bravery to stare into the void and ask God’s question: ”Do I look fat in these jeans?” Every week, Nick Malone and Cris Lopez slow-motion dive into music, culture, and politics, then emerge soaking wet with 100% certified accurate takes for your listening pleasure. If you’ve ever felt gaslit by gay Twitter, or by a sizing chart while online shopping, this will be the sisterhood of a lifetime.
Episodes
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Catalytic Conversion Therapy! (Preview)
Subscribe to the Thot Topics Patreon for the full episode: patreon.com/thottopics Another entry into the Nick's Unending Misery episode canon! This week, the girls discuss yet another instance of VEHICLE DESTRUCTION and CAR PART THEFT in the totally upside-down world that we live in. Join us as…
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Tinaurshe!
Secure your wig sis, a new episode is coming... The world is attempting to carry out a Tinashe revolution, so naturally we needed to assess the historical situation and international implications. This week, the girls go deep on POPSTAR, the critically acclaimed new album from a longtime enemy of...
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Rose Bean Machine!
It's Rose Bean Polanksy Monday, put your Rose Bean Polanskys in the sky! We are back as fuck baby!! This week, the girls conquer the question on everyone's mind, reporting live from the People's Republic of Macklemoreistan: should Ed Sheeran be KILLED for his crimes against humanity? We are...
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Healing Your Inner Chile! (Preview)
PATRONS ONLY!! Subscribe for full access at patreon.com/thottopics. Welcome to the Thot Topics Radical Self-Love Hour, brought to you by Tampax Pearl. I just shoved the talking stick up my pussy! {BOMB DETONATES} Bring your spirit and buss it open because we're plunging deep! We do a little bit…
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Ariana Foie Grasnde (Preview)
**PATRONS ONLY** Full ep available at patreon.com/thottopics! Just like EVERY fucking WEEK! Alternate title: Music, F*ggots, Film..... We are BACK! And All-Star rules are in full effect... ladies get ready to cut loose & let the truth fly! This week is all about the vicious spread of BODY HORROR...
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Madonkey of the Day!
Welcome to Madonnald's, Will You Be Using Your Mobile App Today? Call it podcasting... call it Internet Radio... call it love without words! Put your listening ears and your dancing shoes on because it's time to CONFESS! This week, we are talking about MADONNA and CONFESSIONS 2 and the meteoric...
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Palantir Jerkers! (Unlocked)
Previously only for patrons! One of my favorite eps of ours in a while... PLEASE enjoy and PLEASE subscribe on Patreon you dumb-dumb!! Join now for a bonus episode every week, and a paywalled ep every other week! PATREON.COM/THOTTOPICS Sniff you love someone... let them go... Welcome BACK to the...
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Podcasting in A Minor!
And now, we'll hear a few rousing words from our Breast Man... WE ARE SO BACK! Welcome to deeeeluxe hour of Thot Topics excellence brought to you by Aubrey Graham of Toronto, Canada. There's so much to discuss, so whatcha waitin' for? This week, we discuss DRAKE DERANGEMENT SYNDROME, and issue…
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Troubled Pairofdykes!
IT'S WUR$T GIRL WEEK! PUTCHA DRINKS UP!!! LADIES, WHO ON THEY PERIOD!?! It's a big week for us in the Thot Topics Universe-- a new SLAYYYTER album is finally upon us and we go as deep as humanly possible on all 14 tracks. Hold on to your it because it's about to be cranked! But that's certainly…
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Le Nookie Di Figaro!
Why it gotta be ARABesque girl!?! We're back and our form on the barre is than ever. Are you ready to kornbread jete onto center stage for a tasty weekend of Thot Topicking? There's SO MUCH on our minds this week... First, Nick has a few thoughts on his mind regarding THE VENMO/CASHAPP/ZELLE…
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28 Years Slayyyter!
The chile in me sees the chile in you... now, together, we can finally heal... Whether your daddy's in jail raising hell or your sister's on the corner selling something for sale, we've got something for YOU on this riveting episode of Thot Topics Podcast. But what's on the menu? I'm so very glad...
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Debby Tirarmasfotos!
Bunny is a Rider? I thought he was Puerto Rican... FUCK! It's a Sunday... thankfully we've got a big beautiful brand new episode for precious little Thot Topics listeners all over the globe. It's coming right up so you better get this party started! First, we issue formal comment on Nick getting...
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A Pawg's Purpose!
WALK A MILE IN OUR LOUBOUTINS... JOIN THE PATREON TODAY FOR A WEEKLY BONUS EPISODE AND BIWEEKLY PREMIUM EPS! ONLY 5 BUCKS YOUNG HO! When the pawg hits the conflicts he feels like a king. What he knows throws the blows when he goes to the fight and he'll win the whole thing... HAPPY JANTEENTH!...
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Thotline 10: Ringtoney Hawk's Pro Sgayter!
HAPPY NEW YEAR TO THOTS AROUND THE WORLD! In our final episode of 2025. we open up the Thotline to our precious listeners to hear their pressing questions as 2020-SEX looms large over us all. Gays and women and the others who love them loose their lips (both sets!) to let their voices be heard.…
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Puck My Goal!
CALL THE NEW YEARS' THOTLINE NOW! LEAVE US A VOICEMAIL AT (773) 242-7242, or EMAIL US AT [email protected]. DEADLINE IS DECEMBER 15. Puck this ass Hollander! Puck it! It's a winter wonderland in the Thot Topics studio and we are in the spirit of giving: CUNT, that is! There's so much to…
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The Chic Shall Inherit the Earth!
{Rina Sawayama voice} Um, do you want to explain why you think that's funny? Seriously, we'll all wait. I'd love to hear what you think is so funny about that. No just explain the joke. Like what's so funny? IT'S A BEAUTIFUL SATURDAY TO LISTEN TO THOT TOPICS!!! Wouldn't you agree? Whatever your...
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One Bald Ho After Another!
Wait, PTA stands for Paul Thomas Anderson? I thought it stood for Pits Tits and Ass. A lot of things are coming together for me now Anyway we are INDEED back again for another riveting episode of THOT TOPICS! This week, the girls stare down the barrel of their 28th birthday and ponder what that...
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Just Another Gay Guy Friday!
Find the moo girl! Find the moo! It may be Minoxidil Monday now, but this transmission was recorded on a beautiful Gay Guy Friday which rolled leisurely into the wee hours of Straight Guy Saturday. It's nice to look back on previous moments of pleasure and joy, ain't it? This week, the girls play…
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Gyatt Burglars!
Who up bipping they burger? Who need they burger bipped? WELCOME to another beautiful, breezy, cool and calm Thot Topics Autumn. The air conditioner is off, the vibes are on, and untold cuntyliciousness lies just beyond the play button... The ideas discussed this week are so compelling and so...
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Willoughby Tuckahoe, I'll Always Love You!
It's! Some! It's! Some! Podcasters up in here! Welcome to my stratosphere! After a much-needed sabbatical, the girls are back to give it to you raw, fresh, hot, and ready. By the power of your patience, the world cooked up some tasty drama for us to discuss with our whole, ample chests! First, we...
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Heteropussimism!
Little girl... your miniature therapy horses have arrived to wake you from your anesthesia... wake uppppp! WE ARE BEYONDDD BACK! The Thot Topics Studio is hot with the flames of literacy as we debrief on Nick finishing a draft of His Novel and other matters of girly importance. But the grind…
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Bridge to Talmbouthia!
What I did, or what I do? That is the question. Whether tis nobler to know what you are talmbout, or to take arms against a sea of knowing you were hella wrong for what you did... Happy birthday America! Hold on to the feather in your cap and you betta call that thing macaroni because the real...
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Thotline 9: Gay-GuyPhone Pro Max!
PARENTS BEWARE! Teens are communicating secret messages via text message through acronyms you may not be aware of. Stay informed! PTB = Pump The Beat. PBP = Period Bitch, Period. PP = Pink Pantheress Thank you for tuning in for a very special Pride Month Thotline! This time, we've accepted...
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The Year of Magical Drinking!
Ladies I gotta be honest this one was a fight to the finish line even off a couple cawktails... but we do it for YOU: the people. Where to even begin? Nothing happened to anyone on the entire planet this week so we decided to do what dreamers do best: look n word. *INWARD. Sorry, INWARD...…
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Meth Gala!
Why it gotta be Black Dandy? HA! Oh... oh, because it's called that? Because it's about black guys who like fashion? Huh... alright. Can I get you another cocktail sir? WELCOME back to the Thot Topics red carpet coverage zone sponsored by E! News. This week, we review the many special outfits at...
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Cousin Skeeters!
You've heard of kissing cousins... now get ready for dick-sucking cousins! No one ever said podcasting would be easy-- luckily, we are more than up to the task, even in sweltering fucking HOT 70 degree weather in our beautiful city, baby. Let's get down to business! First, we check in on the...
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ON SECOND THOT - April 14, 2025 (UNLOCKED!)
Spotify is trying to punish us for being too beautiful and talented for their platform, so join us on PATREON! For $5/month, you get TWO episodes every single freaking week, including this: ON SECOND THOT, our aftershow where we are allowed to get a lil more personal wit it. We'll keep attempting...
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Auto Gyne Nachtmusik!
Piper? How'd she get THAT name... WELCOME... 2 OUR ISLAND! Thot TOPICS Island. Pon de beach, the girls take a vacation from cognitive functioning and basic logic skills: just for you. Lotion up sisters because surf is motherfucking UP! This week, we discuss the finale of THE WHITE LOTUS-- the…
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Sgt. Poppers Lonely Hearts Club Band!
Happy birthday Irish people! Welcome to the St. Patrick's Day celebration brought to you by Thot Topics. Recorded in the moments before disaster, the girls center themselves with a vital discussion on LA MUSICA de Lady Gaga, Chappell Roan, and so much mas. But that's not all-- we uncork The…
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Gargarden of Eden!
You already know what time it is... Screamin' for me baby!! Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the official pod Insta @th0tstarsxo. Try Magic Mind's brand new mental performance GUMMIES! 25% off for Thot Topics sisters at magicmind.com/NICKGM using promo code NICKGM.
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Chudai Stay Or Chudai Go!
Chudai give up... or chudai just keep chasin' pavements... Welcome back to the Thot Topics Center for Controlling It, where this week we'll be working hard in the lab to bring America the truth and nothing BUT the truth. Check it! This week, we answer a few of our patrons' most pressing…
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Martin Luther "Kori" King Jr!
Calling all abracadivas and abracadabroids: Thot Topics School for Girls is back in session. Abra ooh na na! First of all, you dirty BITCH: we review the Grammys from head to toe and we have some constructive feedback. From BRAT to the other stuff, we go deep and dirty. THEN, little girl: we…
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The Beat Pumpers Union!
Have you paid your dues? The beat shan't be pumped until every member has paid their dues... We're back in the studio all by our lonesome, and I'm sorry to say it, but we are breaking our no-politics promise... not because we feel especially motivated but because we had no other ideas. This week,...
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Thotline 8: AT&T Already Done Had Herses!
Not my best work in this episode title but I'm tired man We're twenty-twenty-LIVE in the booth in the new year baby!! We hope your resolution wasn't to stop listening to the erotic audio stylings of Thot Topics because we're about to make it THAT much harder! This week, we take calls and emails...
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Interstellar Friendship Karaoke AKA The 202th Episode Special
The girls set up shop at a karaoke bar to properly enjoy their top musical moments of 2024, and to celebrate 200 episodes of sisterhood and divadom. Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the official pod Insta @th0tstarsxo. Recoup our yogurt soju fund on Patreon.
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Clocking Around the Christmas Tree!
This isn't really a Christmas episode because we recorded it like, over a week ago-- but Merry Christmas to you and yours all the same... You've heard of a one horse open sleigh... now get ready for TWO whore's open slay. That's right, we ain't hidin' it! This week, after a lovely girly catchup...
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No One Mourns The Thiccked! (Preview)
FULL EPISODE BEYOND THA PAYWALL AT PATREON.COM/THOTTOPICS. $5/MONTH FOR A BONUS EPISODE EVERY SINGLE WEEK, AND PREMIUM EPS EVERY OTHER WEEK! Flopular... you're gonna be flopyouular... Welcome back to the Thot Topics glistening wintertime palace of holiday delights. This week, the girls are…
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Concealed Carrie Bradshaw!
Sabrina Carpenter? I barely know her!! HA! Welcome back to the Thot Topics Twisted Labyrinth where nothing is quite as it seems... if you're feeling turkeylicious this season, have we got the episode for you! This week, the girls catch up after a week apart: Cris delivers a field report from the...
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The Great Impussinator!
You have left me very discheazed... you have left me... diseaseched... Discheezed to meet you? Is there anything here? Hey girl. Did you know that um... it doesn't matter if you love him? OR capital H-I-M? We're calling all Little Monsters who are pushing 30 to the stage to speak their truth and...
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Saeko Killers!
Turningjapanesewethinkwe'returningjapanesewereallythinkso This week in the Thot Topics Diversity, Equity and Inclusion Annex, the girls unpack several major violations of the international code of cunt. First, the BRAT REMIX ALBUM, the ancient demon KESHA, SAIKO and the call of BEING JAPANESE.…
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Six Freaks Magic Mountin'!
Young man! Your presence is requested in the Headmaster's office. And trust me-- you DON'T want to find out how he got THAT name... Love is in the air in the Thot Topics Studio tonight as the girls issue a transmission from the eve of Nick's wedding! We don't want to scare anyone, but it's time…
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The Church of Naturday Saints!
Happy LUBEor Day You Patriotic SLUTS 💦💦💦😫 From the twisted mind of THOT TOPICS comes an all-new episode full of juicy, scrumptious goodness for ya nerve. EAT IT UP MAMA! We're back to business for the first time in a while so we do a little bit of girly catchup. Are we doing more than…
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Do You Believe in Mewgic?!
Calling all birdwatchers! Are you watchin' these birds?!?!? This week, we join forces in the Plus Size Creator's Autonomous Zone against the powers that be: hater ass faggots in the Patreon exit surveys. Once that demon is purged from our spirit, it's down to business as usual. We take Raggedy...
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Thotline 7.5: Juan Missed Call!
We're back in the lounge to resolve more critical issues in the Thot Topics Jewniverse! We receive emergency transmissions from our beloved homosexual and female (and STRAIGHT MALE) listeners on matters of life, love, and the pursuit of pussyliciousness. What's on the menu, you ask? We discuss…
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Thotline 7: She-Mobile Unlimited! (Preview)
**PATRONS ONLY** Subscribe now at patreon.com/thottopics. Long time no talk, loca! What's it been giving girlfriend?! This week, we've opened the gilded gates of the Thot Topics Golfing Greens and Garden for the unwashed masses to speak directly to the girls. That's right bitch: for the first…
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Deploy All Kamaloids!
Bruh. BRUHHHHH. I don't know what the fuck is in the water this week but like 20 minutes of this episode somehow deleted itself. Should I kill myself? MAYBE!!! Anyway, MOST of an episode is here and I'm praying things will be back to normal this week lmfao. Here's what we got into: KAMALA 2024…
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My Katycat From Hell!
You've stumbled into the Katy Perry Apologists Anonymous meeting. Please find a seat and be prepared to share your story. Refreshments have been provided and are available on the far wall. May we see your peacock? This week is a really special one. Just honestly what the fuck guys. First, we…
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Goodbye Whorses!
Na na na na.... na na naaa na... hey, hey, hey... gay priiiiiiiide Strap in (or on!) for the unique and incomparable stylings of THOT TOPICS! This week, we're in rare form to discuss all manner of gay guy bullshit happening on the timeline-- we're really playing the hits on this one. Thank you to...
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Wide and Prejudiced!
Sometimes, the people who laugh the most, cry inside the hardest... they also have the biggest jiggliest boobs. 😥 RT if you cried Welcome to the Thot Topics podcast official Pride Month kickoff where we ask the question on everybody's lips (both sets!): Are YOU proud to be gay? We try our hand…
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On Second Thot - May 28, 2024 (Preview)
Has anyone even TOLD you about our new weekly bonus show for paying sisters? ON SECOND THOT is our sexy little aftershow where put our hair in a pony, get cozy, and let the real freak shit fly. Each week, we select our definitive SLAYS OF THE DAY, FREAKS OF THE WEEK, and last but not least…
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ABOUT THIS SHOW
Thot Topics is a podcast with the bravery to stare into the void and ask God’s question: ”Do I look fat in these jeans?” Every week, Nick Malone and Cris Lopez slow-motion dive into music, culture, and politics, then emerge soaking wet with 100% certified accurate takes for your listening pleasure. If you’ve ever felt gaslit by gay Twitter, or by a sizing chart while online shopping, this will be the sisterhood of a lifetime.
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Thot Topics
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Frequently Asked Questions
How many episodes does Thot Topics have?
Thot Topics currently has 220 episodes available on PodParley. New episodes are automatically indexed when they're published to the podcast feed.
What is Thot Topics about?
Thot Topics is a podcast with the bravery to stare into the void and ask God’s question: ”Do I look fat in these jeans?” Every week, Nick Malone and Cris Lopez slow-motion dive into music, culture, and politics, then emerge soaking wet with 100% certified accurate takes for your listening pleasure....
How often does Thot Topics release new episodes?
Thot Topics publishes regularly with 220 episodes available. Check the episode list for the typical release schedule.
Where can I listen to Thot Topics?
You can listen to Thot Topics on PodParley by clicking any episode. We provide an embedded audio player for direct listening, and you can also subscribe via your preferred podcast app using the RSS feed.
Who hosts Thot Topics?
Thot Topics is created and hosted by Thot Topics.
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