TIK TOK ROCK

A song I wrote after reading about a princess marrying a proper who her very royal family said was a scoundrel and a charlatan but they've decided to let love rule and after five years it seems tobe working .

A song for Big Manchester Pete, the hardest-looking man you'd ever meet, though his face may seem like it was made for a trick or treat, inside he had a big old heart that was as soft as a boiled sugar beet.

A quick song I wrote after learning that they'd put a camera in the little place where I sit and write which I found very unnerving to have an I spy or seeing eye way up upon high : but then the police departments are now deploying reaper drones with inferred night vision armed with Taser's loud speakers and spotlights into the night sky's above Los Angeles it's a brave new world.

A song I wrote today after seeing an old Keltic companion I haven't seen for a decade a true blue eyed raven headed Bretagne . The Romans drove them to the furthest reaches of the kingdom so did Edward long shanks hammer of the scots who also stole their ancient kings destiny stone and put it under his own throne Then By the act of supremacy Henry VIII made himself a god figure to rule over all kingdoms , and so you can understand by what they did why the Keltic people feel quite a mistrust towards Westminster and why they would like devolution.

A song I wrote after visiting my brother who lives in Thailand where I was struck by the close proximity of sin , every one of the seven deadlies were available 24/7 and the foreign tourist readily participated in the promiscuous perversions untill it became a normality.

A song I wrote whilst looking at the selection of sapiens on a train station I was wondering if we mixed all of them together as if they were paint in a garden shed, would we all end up resembling some khaki olive coloured bread or maybe a DNA glue that resembles a fudge fondue . All rights reserved

Another crazy song written for my god children about a packet of crisps they seem obsessed with songs about chrips but what can you do.

A song I wrote about a honey trap set by the KGB in 1955 using seductive dances from the Bolshoi ballet a British naval attache with the nickname miss Mary was cought in a homo sovieticus sexpionage of seduction just a hairs breath from the world famous Ballet theatre the soft cell take down was nick named Brandy at the Bolshoi.

A song I wrote about emperors and kings who believe themselves to be the devine demagoguery If a deity did arrive on planet earth these mobsters and megalomaniacs would see them quickly murdered .

Short song I wrote after hearing the most of the UK political parties are riding aboard what are known as Battle buses for their election campaigns it's a good job Silvio Burlusconi did do the same or it would be known as the Bunga Bus.

Short song written about a packet of chips not an task to try and work lyrics into such a simple insignificant thing but these are the things that children want so often cause one must obey.

Thirty years ago climbing aboard over night sleeper trains could turn into a complete disaster the vodka to Vladivostok the dickie Darlington the newkie brown night club, the Scots rail slangie, all these or most of them are now dry runs probably due to the terrible conditions people got themselves in. A notorious one I climbed onboard was the Southampton slammer full of sailors just let loose from the ship what a nightmare should have been called the vomit express.

a short song I wrote for my god children on a train to London obviously the premise revolves around their favorite savory snack of the day "hula hoops" the things we do for love eh?.

A tune I wrote for a Bambi brown eyed girl who sells The big issue outside Morrisons I always end up giving her my money and then I give her the magazine back she only needs to inscribe that look of grief she could take the shirt from my back .

A song wrote about a mafia boss who was born in Le panier Marseille the last bastion of Beelzebub , he then rose to become France's ultimate crime Capo Di Capo lasting fifty years before being gunned down in Paris for an old corsican vendetta all rights reserved .

The green-eyed monster of sin, that schadenfreude which we keep hidden away so deep within, its usually only seen in children as they exert their will to win ; the lowly leftover instinct of our anthropic ascension. However, this terrible traite can also be witnessed later in our lives when males begin to assert and dominate as the sexual stage arrives and our species needs to procreate .

A song written for a disabled soul who had the Bambi brown eyes of a faul where my reflecting soul, must have resembled a Quasimodo piece of coal for whenever I looked at him he screamed a seagull squark and would rear back in fear.

A song about falling into destitution especially soldiers and sailors who you find in the beggars brigade of most British towns. How easy it be to cast contempt , lest we forget our debt. I also had a spell living on the street so when I here others throwing stones I cast them a curse. It's a Witherspoon's Waterloo

A song for supertramp a dear friend who had a unique way of curing his halitosis by drinking your bathroom cabinet bare ,  mixing  aftershave aperitifs and cough medicine cognacs , but beware beware of the ambre solaire.

A quick song I wrote for lily's 13th birthday . Senorita Liliana, they say you were born in Nirvana with a spirit and karma as cool as the dalai Lama . But I think your soul was made somewhere in Havana ready for dancing away the nights on the copacabana.

This is a short song I wrote for Colette's birthday she's an angel faced florist who works out of a norman church on a country estate, surrounded by angelic statues all halos and wings adding to this heavenly scene is her being bathed and baptized in the divine light from the stain glassed windows along with the scent from the flowers you think you've arrived at the garden of Eden, but then again when she puts on her leather and lace and hits the town well that's a different story , A Saturday night sinner and a Sunday morning Saint. All rights reserved.

A song I wrote about how computer viruses are getting more like human STDs with the massive download of porn and digital dating a shared cyber syphilis may one day be widespread even perhaps jumping across onto us. The Anna kornikova virus went world wide due to so many down loads.

A short song written about the money monsters in the city of London they feed their need and greed down on London's squire mile all the while with a wry smirk and smile hence why this rapacious reptile is called Mr mercantile .

The old post office Harrogate is located about a century behind Greenwich mean time, the pensioners there are disciplinarians by design if you slip out of sync or cross the red line then these old soldiers would quickly bark you back into the line.

A song i wrote on the 5.05 train Leeds to London by the time ya get there you felt like you've been in a shipwreck rocking and rolling with so many people crushed into a small space I was gonna shout man alive!! when they opened the doors. I skipped it into a fast 12/8 rhythm to give the feel of a underlying current of a train moving.

This is a song i wrote about the catastrophic creations cause through having too much cosmetic surgery leaving so many a patient in the perpetual state of a reconstructive purgatory the surgeons are called the picasso's of the plastique, well they certainly end up with a foot an mouth or a tongue-in-cheek , they sculpture and scalpel at something that once started out as the face of the fantastic but by the final phase come cut you're left with a gargoyle freak. All rights reserved.

A short tune I wrote for a friend who constantly gets blitz then sits around all day sending the same emails over and over driving us all round the bend by tapping again and again on resend.

A song written about an old person in the analogy of an old car that starts to break down with age.

A song about a women whose mischief like that of lady Macbeth caused many a death

Shakespeare was a genius at portraying the macaveillion side of the human race. The poet Shelley said that king Leah was the most perfect specimen of art existing in the world. Sigmund Freud also took his many psychoanalytical traits from Shakespeare this obviously being the odipus complex of the kings three daughters towards their father who demanded unconditional love . I wrote this song for an uncle who had three daughters which he demanded the same thing My cousin he disowned and threw into the street just like Cordelia in king Lear it ended in tragedy obviously.

A short song I wrote for my godson Todd after seeing how the human being is producing hybrid animals zebra crossed with rhinoceros I mean have we gone completely mad what's next a cockerel crossed with a kangaroo?.

A song about looking at my Godson watching the Lion king I cast myself back to childhood where I first saw a pathetic lion used as a guard dog in a scrap yard chained toothless clawless and castrated never should these beautiful beast be caged into torment and cruelty for our amusement we should leave them to roam wild and free on their sub-saharan Savannah

A song I wrote for my goddaughters birthday it's done through the eyes of a mayfly due to her being born on the 1st of may I was trying to tell her live everyday as if it be her last.

A little ditty for a God-son who wanted to know if he would become a bird if we caught bird flu.

A song about a crazy Irish girl I met in Greece she was totally wired to the moon, out of her mind on everything from poitin to pixie dust .

A little song for my God son Todd about a two toed sloth they're always portrayed as the epitome of sinfulness i.e laziness but this little arboreal adaption turns out to be the perfect green dream a hairy little leaf eating machine which has a zero carbon footprint and could save the world all on its own , we would do well to put a little of the sinful slow sloth back in our own fast food life styles in order to try and save our poor planet .

A song I wrote for the king of rock and roll it's done in a crooning style of the fifties. He was born into extreme poverty raised in a shotgun shack but managed not only to break out of but also to attack the musical apartheid of America he was one of the first to start singing the black man's blues , he went from busking as a bum on Beale Street to having the world worshipping at his feet an all American boy with his all American dream.

A song I wrote in the old music hall tradition of two verse chorus which is similar to the church stanza I've also sang it in the barber shop style of my father who born in 1925 still bursts into song similar to a Mississippi boat minstrel .

A short song I wrote about the monster munch crisps as a love song I did it whilst riding aboard a train the 11.34 from Bicester to London Marylebone station 12.38 recorded in two takes outside McDonald's in double quick time.

Her swan song is what you hear just before your love boat runs aground and the scent of sulphur be the final pheromone you smell as you slowly begin to drowned .

A tune for my godson Todd who's five years old it was inspired by listening to him talking about his modern dance class which involves quite a lot of acrobatics including parkouring from the kitchen table onto the floor then spinning round on his back hissing loudly like a fried egg or an angry snake.

They called her La Pucelle The maiden of steel Joan of arc who saved France from the hundred years war with the English but as usual her own French nobels through tricks and treachery sold her back to the English after she'd won back France they charged her with cross dressing and heresy she was burned at the stake three times till her bones turned to dust but her legend never did rust. In 1909 at Notre Dame she was made saint by Pope Pius X and became a patron of freedom, France an feminism.

A short ditty written for the god Google children who now speak in fluent geek , the bible say's that the meek shall inherit the earth I think they may have meant to say the GEEK !!.

A song I wrote for a crazy young women who's beauty could cause Aphrodite to scream a red rage of jealously, its fairly obvious to see her maker man was completely OCD and once you're under her spell you just can't break free .

A short song I wrote after speaking to some old friends from way back they were all on the prozac or as we use to call it The Slow Smack due to them taking two weeks to work most of them are still on the smarties they feel fine all of the time.

A song I wrote for Nina in lock down with covid and the kids a soft swing .

A short song I wrote for a friend who now wants to be called THE BIG TECH JESUS . He stands six feet eight tall and states to everyone that he's THE NEW LORD OF LOVE .

Our fixation with fear is definitely here. We're living like mendicant monks. Our decadent café latte lifestyles are all defunct. This virus hangs about us like the prophecy of Macbeth, a new strain of the Black Death. This damnable COVID-19 has killed what was once a hedonistic dream. 'Project fear' is all we hear, bombarded constantly into our ears. We've become farmed fish, the human hen, all crushed together into a purgatory pen, pellet-fed by Auntie Bettie and Uncle Ben.

A short song I wrote whilst trapped in rush hour on the M25 its certainly a highway to hell and your brain boils in its crab faced shell at night it turns into a Cannon Ball Run a hundred and seventeen miles of Mad Max fun with motor cycles screaming past like something out of the movie Top Gun .

A little song about setting off on a world tour in the late seventies, it was nothing like today there were no mobile phones or multimedia just the odd phone box for calls . Your thumb and forefinger were used for hitchhiking thousands of miles around the globe taking years and years almost a decade to the point where many of us became wonderless but we did become quite skilled in the art of conversation due to spending so much time spieling with strangers , way back when you had the safety of being completely cut off where now the new wage travellers are so guarded due to the sapiens surveillance of God Google and the silicone starzi Siri .