Tiny Pep Talks for Stepparents

When I sat down and really thought about what’s the most important reminder I want to leave you all with, I decided every word I’ve spoken or written pretty much boils down to this:Stepparenting is hard. Really, really hard. And struggling in this role does not make you a bad stepparent or a bad person.Read the full transcript on Substack >>--➡️ STRUGGLING? START HERE!😱 WE ARE CLOSING! Here's what you need to know >> This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit blendedfamilyfrappe.substack.com

You might feel like you’re going through these stepparenting challenges alone, but I promise you are not alone.Join us on Substack >>Grab your FREE ticket to StepmomCon 2026! >>--➡️ STRUGGLING? START HERE!😱 WE ARE CLOSING! Here's what you need to know >> This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit blendedfamilyfrappe.substack.com

Stepparents are not powerless when faced with a high-conflict ex. (Even though it can sure feel that way.)Join us on Substack >>Grab your FREE ticket to StepmomCon 2026! >>--➡️ STRUGGLING? START HERE!😱 WE ARE CLOSING! Here's what you need to know >> This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit blendedfamilyfrappe.substack.com

You’re not doing stepparenting “wrong” if the typical advice doesn’t seem to apply to you.Read the full transcript on Substack >>--➡️ STRUGGLING? START HERE!😱 WE ARE CLOSING! Here's what you need to know >> This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit blendedfamilyfrappe.substack.com

Correction: stepparents are exhausted superheroes! Because holy cow this role feels impossible some days.Read the full transcript on Substack >>--➡️ STRUGGLING? START HERE!🧡 JOIN OUR SUPPORT COMMUNITY This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit blendedfamilyfrappe.substack.com

Stepparenting is tough, absolutely. But don’t let the negatives erase the hard-won positives.Read the full transcript on Substack >>--➡️ STRUGGLING? START HERE!🧡 JOIN OUR SUPPORT COMMUNITY This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit blendedfamilyfrappe.substack.com

We can’t predict the plot twists that just might lead our stepfamily to a surprise happy ending.Read the full transcript on Substack >>--➡️ STRUGGLING? START HERE!🧡 JOIN OUR SUPPORT COMMUNITY This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit blendedfamilyfrappe.substack.com

4 tips to help you navigate one of the biggest bummers of stepparenting: rude stepkid behavior.HOW TO ACTUALLY BLEND: The missing instruction manual for stepcouples >>Read the Disengaging Essay >>NOT YOUR CIRCUS, NOT YOUR MONKEYS: The frustrated stepparent’s guide to personal peace >>Read the full transcript on Substack >>--➡️ STRUGGLING? START HERE!🧡 JOIN OUR SUPPORT COMMUNITY This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit blendedfamilyfrappe.substack.com

Please don’t bother trying to follow typical co-parenting advice when the ex is high conflict.The 10 Commandments of high-conflict co-parenting >>Read the full transcript on Substack >>--➡️ STRUGGLING? START HERE!🧡 JOIN OUR SUPPORT COMMUNITY This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit blendedfamilyfrappe.substack.com

How do you deal when your stepkid’s calling all the shots, positioning themselves (sometimes quite literally) in between you and your partner, and generally acting like they’re your partner’s partner, not you?Read the full transcript on Substack >>--➡️ STRUGGLING? START HERE!🧡 JOIN OUR SUPPORT COMMUNITY This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit blendedfamilyfrappe.substack.com

You didn’t know it, but sometimes I’m a poet. Happy Valentine’s Day!Read the full transcript on Substack >>--➡️ STRUGGLING? START HERE!🧡 JOIN OUR SUPPORT COMMUNITY This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit blendedfamilyfrappe.substack.com

What if trying to connect with your stepkid ends up backfiring big time as your partner's high conflict ex weaponizes it against you?Read the full transcript on Substack >>--➡️ STRUGGLING? START HERE!🧡 JOIN OUR SUPPORT COMMUNITY🗣️ SHARE YOUR OWN STORY! This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit blendedfamilyfrappe.substack.com

How to deal with sarsaparilla rules in stepparenting. (And the rest of the world.)Read the full transcript on Substack >>--➡️ STRUGGLING? START HERE!🧡 JOIN OUR SUPPORT COMMUNITY🗣️ SHARE YOUR OWN STORY! This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit blendedfamilyfrappe.substack.com

Strong stepparenting emotions are a feature, not a bug; it’s okay to just feel that way.RESOURCES MENTIONED:🐒 Not Your Circus, Not Your Monkeys: The Frustrated Stepparent’s Guide to Reclaiming Personal Peace🥰 17 coping tips for managing overwhelming emotionsRead the full transcript on Substack >>--➡️ STRUGGLING? START HERE!🧡 JOIN OUR SUPPORT COMMUNITY🗣️ SHARE YOUR OWN STORY! This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit blendedfamilyfrappe.substack.com

If you’re blaming yourself for your stepfamily’s dysfunction, please stop. 🧡Read the full transcript on Substack >>--➡️ STRUGGLING? START HERE!🧡 JOIN OUR SUPPORT COMMUNITY🗣️ SHARE YOUR OWN STORY! This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit blendedfamilyfrappe.substack.com

A pep talk for stepparents who are ready for change yet also exhausted.Read the full transcript on Substack >>--➡️ STRUGGLING? START HERE!🧡 JOIN OUR SUPPORT COMMUNITY🗣️ SHARE YOUR OWN STORY! This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit blendedfamilyfrappe.substack.com

Finding hope when stepfamily life feels a little too “one step forward, two steps back.” Read the full transcript on Substack >>--➡️ STRUGGLING? START HERE!🧡 JOIN OUR SUPPORT COMMUNITY🗣️ SHARE YOUR OWN STORY! This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit blendedfamilyfrappe.substack.com

Because it sure feels weird trying to find an appropriate balance between “celebratory” and “boundaries.”Read the full transcript on Substack >>--➡️ STRUGGLING? START HERE!🧡 JOIN OUR SUPPORT COMMUNITY🗣️ SHARE YOUR OWN STORY! This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit blendedfamilyfrappe.substack.com

Surviving the holiday season when you’re not feeling particularly grateful for stepfam life. Today's episode is taken from a post I wrote last year and thought this would be a good time to share again. xoRead the full transcript on Substack >>SAVE 50% FOR LIFE! >>--➡️ STRUGGLING? START HERE!🧡 JOIN OUR SUPPORT COMMUNITY🗣️ SHARE YOUR OWN STORY! This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit blendedfamilyfrappe.substack.com

When your blended family can’t celebrate traditional holidays, sometimes you gotta improvise.Read the full transcript on Substack >>--➡️ STRUGGLING? START HERE!🧡 JOIN OUR SUPPORT COMMUNITY🗣️ SHARE YOUR OWN STORY! This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit blendedfamilyfrappe.substack.com

Our list of 9 tips, tricks, ideas, and reminders to help stepparents get through the holiday season all in one piece. (Hopefully with your sanity still intact.🤞🏼)Read the full transcript on Substack >>SAVE 50% THRU THE HOLIDAYS WITH THIS LINK! >>--➡️ STRUGGLING? START HERE!🧡 JOIN OUR SUPPORT COMMUNITY🗣️ SHARE YOUR OWN STORY! This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit blendedfamilyfrappe.substack.com

Stepparenting in the aftermath of your partner’s high-conflict divorce requires a completely different approach.For help with this, please watch High Conflict Stepparenting, our workshop for stepparents who need extra support while trying to blend under intense pressure. It's included as a perk for our paid Substack subscribers.Read the full transcript on Substack >>--➡️ STRUGGLING? START HERE!🧡 JOIN OUR SUPPORT COMMUNITY🗣️ SHARE YOUR OWN STORY! This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit blendedfamilyfrappe.substack.com

Stepparenting requires a lot of sacrifices — many of which are significant; most of which we had no idea we’d have to make. So grief is part of stepparenting too, although I don’t think any of us realize that going in.Read the full transcript on Substack >>--➡️ STRUGGLING? START HERE!🧡 JOIN OUR SUPPORT COMMUNITY🗣️ SHARE YOUR OWN STORY! This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit blendedfamilyfrappe.substack.com

A pep talk for stepparents who struggle to feel like they’re making any kinda difference in their blended families.Read the full transcript on Substack >>--➡️ STRUGGLING? START HERE!🧡 JOIN OUR SUPPORT COMMUNITY🗣️ SHARE YOUR OWN STORY! This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit blendedfamilyfrappe.substack.com

You can’t co-parent with someone who won’t compromise. Put that energy toward blending your family instead.Read the full transcript on Substack >>--➡️ STRUGGLING? START HERE!🧡 JOIN OUR SUPPORT COMMUNITY🗣️ SHARE YOUR OWN STORY! This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit blendedfamilyfrappe.substack.com

Today I'm sharing some of the (many) misconceptions I had to stumble over as I slowwwwly shifted from a single parent perspective to a stepfamily mindset.Read the full transcript on Substack >>HELPFUL RESOURCES FOR PARTNERS:Stepcouplehood needs to be a partnershipThe 3 stages of blending your familyHow to Actually Blend: The Missing Instruction Manual for Stepcouples6 things stepparents wish their partners knewWhy your relationship (NOT the kids) should come first in a stepfamilyStepparents & disciplining stepkids--➡️ STRUGGLING? START HERE!🧡 JOIN OUR SUPPORT COMMUNITY🗣️ SHARE YOUR OWN STORY! This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit blendedfamilyfrappe.substack.com

If you’re ready to shift out of reactive mode as a stepparent and recover your center, disengaging could be the first step in rediscovering what you want and need.GRAB YOUR FREE STEMOMCON25 TICKET! >>Read the full transcript on Substack >>--➡️ STRUGGLING? START HERE!🧡 JOIN OUR SUPPORT COMMUNITY🗣️ SHARE YOUR OWN STORY! This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit blendedfamilyfrappe.substack.com

The more you know about the complexities of stepfam life, the more you’re setting yourself up for success. And, by extension, the rest of your blended family too.GRAB YOUR FREE TICKET TO STEPMOMCON 2025! >>Read the full transcript on Substack >>--➡️ STRUGGLING? START HERE!🧡 JOIN OUR SUPPORT COMMUNITY🗣️ SHARE YOUR OWN STORY! This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit blendedfamilyfrappe.substack.com

Stepparenting compassion fatigue is what happens when your heart can literally no longer feel empathy because you’ve been so overexposed to never-ending stepfamily problems.If that's you, go grab my guide: 17 coping tips for managing overwhelming emotions and please know YOU ARE NOT ALONE. xoRead the full transcript on Substack >>--➡️ STRUGGLING? START HERE!🧡 JOIN OUR SUPPORT COMMUNITY🗣️ SHARE YOUR OWN STORY! This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit blendedfamilyfrappe.substack.com

Happy Stepfamily Day (Sep 16th) to all the incredible blended families out there that look nothing like the Brady Bunch.The Brady Bunch laid the groundwork for decades of unrealistic expectations about blended families. The real journey toward blended is so much more intimidating. Which doesn't mean we're failing at becoming a family; it’s just that our preconceptions about what "blended" really means are misinformed.Read the full transcript on Substack >>--➡️ STRUGGLING? START HERE!🧡 JOIN OUR SUPPORT COMMUNITY🗣️ SHARE YOUR OWN STORY! This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit blendedfamilyfrappe.substack.com

You do not need to be perfect to be a good stepparent. You’re certainly not responsible for living up to someone else’s unrealistic stepparenting expectations. Or your own unrealistic expectations!Read the full transcript on Substack >>--➡️ STRUGGLING? START HERE!🧡 JOIN OUR SUPPORT COMMUNITY🗣️ SHARE YOUR OWN STORY! This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit blendedfamilyfrappe.substack.com

If you need help wrapping your brain around the idea of of disengaging in a positive way, I wrote a whole ebook to help with that: ➡️ Not Your Circus, Not Your Monkeys: The Frustrated Stepparent's Guide to Reclaiming Personal Peace. It includes advice and a step-by-step how-to along with my personal stories about disengaging, plus a bunch of different “how I disengaged” examples from other stepparents.This ebook is included as a perk for our paid subscribers on Substack, but you can also buy it as a standalone right here.Read the full episode transcript on Substack >>--➡️ STRUGGLING? START HERE!🧡 JOIN OUR SUPPORT COMMUNITY🗣️ SHARE YOUR OWN STORY! This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit blendedfamilyfrappe.substack.com

A high conflict ex can turn stepfamily life into a nightmare. How can stepparents keep from getting cooked ourselves?Read the full transcript on Substack >>--➡️ STRUGGLING? START HERE!🧡 JOIN OUR SUPPORT COMMUNITY🗣️ SHARE YOUR OWN STORY! This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit blendedfamilyfrappe.substack.com

It literally took years for Dan & I to get on the same page as a stepcouple. Which, it turns out, is pretty normal in a blended family. That sure doesn’t make it easy though! Which is why we put together this guide: How to Actually Blend: The Missing Instruction Manual for Stepcouples.You might also want to check out:The 3 phases (& 7 stages) of blending your familyBlended family red flagsRead the full transcript on Substack >>--➡️ STRUGGLING? START HERE!🧡 JOIN OUR SUPPORT COMMUNITY🗣️ SHARE YOUR OWN STORY! This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit blendedfamilyfrappe.substack.com

So much of successfully navigating stepparenting depends on our ability to think outside the box — to get creative, to redefine how “family” looks and feels, to reassess what it means to be a stepparent in a way that actually works for us. And all of that applies to self-care for stepparents as well: it’s probably not gonna look how you thought. Which is normal and okay.Read the full transcript on Substack >>--➡️ STRUGGLING? START HERE!🧡 JOIN OUR SUPPORT COMMUNITY🗣️ SHARE YOUR OWN STORY! This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit blendedfamilyfrappe.substack.com

A pep talk for stepparents who get gaslit into believing that the dysfunction at home and/or between co-parents is somehow their fault.Read the full transcript on Substack >>--➡️ STRUGGLING? START HERE!🧡 JOIN OUR SUPPORT COMMUNITY🗣️ SHARE YOUR OWN STORY! This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit blendedfamilyfrappe.substack.com

How to deal when your stepkids are the very definition of a special snowflake.Read the full transcript on Substack >>--➡️ STRUGGLING? START HERE!🧡 JOIN OUR SUPPORT COMMUNITY🗣️ SHARE YOUR OWN STORY! This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit blendedfamilyfrappe.substack.com

The most infuriating stepparenting advice I heard/read over and over again was “Oh just don’t take it personally! It’s not you; it’s the role. Your stepkid would treat anyone in your position the same way.”Today, I'll share what I wish those folks would've said instead.Read the full transcript on Substack >>--➡️ STRUGGLING? START HERE!🧡 JOIN OUR SUPPORT COMMUNITY🗣️ SHARE YOUR OWN STORY! This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit blendedfamilyfrappe.substack.com

Parental alienation is the most “dark night of the soul” challenge we faced in our blended family... but eventually our stepfamily did find hope and healing.Read the full transcript on Substack >>--➡️ STRUGGLING? START HERE!🧡 JOIN OUR SUPPORT COMMUNITY🗣️ SHARE YOUR OWN STORY! This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit blendedfamilyfrappe.substack.com

Knowing what counts as “normal” in a stepfamily would’ve made a HUGE difference in how I approached becoming a stepmom. I was completely unprepared for how hard this role was gonna be.Read the full transcript on Substack >>--➡️ STRUGGLING? START HERE!🧡 JOIN OUR SUPPORT COMMUNITY🗣️ SHARE YOUR OWN STORY! This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit blendedfamilyfrappe.substack.com

Some self-care tips for any stepparent who feels like their brain is melting from massive overwhelm.What’s your go-to de-stress practice? Hop over to Substack and leave a comment if you wanna share — I’d love to hear it, and you’d be helping other stressed-out stepparents too! This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit blendedfamilyfrappe.substack.com

Today, just a quick reminder: you don’t need the ex’s permission to play a role in your stepkids’ lives. Nor do you need the ex’s approval before you meet your stepkids. Did your partner’s ex want to meet you before you were “allowed” to meet your future stepkids? Please join us in Substack and share in the comments, I’d love to hear that story. 😱 This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit blendedfamilyfrappe.substack.com

From dads who aren’t allowed to see their kids to stepdads whose role goes completely unrecognized, Father’s Day emotions in stepfamilies can run the full spectrum.Read the full transcript on Substack >>--➡️ STRUGGLING? START HERE!🧡 JOIN OUR SUPPORT COMMUNITY This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit blendedfamilyfrappe.substack.com

If I could only pick one message that I want each and every stepparent to know, it's this: yeah this shit is hard, but you are not alone. So many other stepparents have been where you are and made it through. There is hope. This does get better.I'd be lying if I said that message applies to every stepparenting situation, though.Read the full transcript on Substack >>--➡️ STRUGGLING? START HERE!🧡 JOIN OUR SUPPORT COMMUNITY This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit blendedfamilyfrappe.substack.com

Let’s dispel some common myths about disengaging from our stepkids. Starting with #1: disengaging is not a bad thing.Read the full transcript on Substack >>--➡️ STRUGGLING? START HERE! 🧡 JOIN OUR SUPPORT COMMUNITY This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit blendedfamilyfrappe.substack.com

Stepfamilies in high conflict situations need different strategies and resources than other blended families. So many of the typical co-parenting advice out there does not apply when the ex is a nightmare narcissist. And stepparents in high conflict need extra support, too — which is why we’re here. Because holy cow this is NOT what you signed up for!!Read the full transcript on Substack >>MORE HELP FOR HIGH CONFLICT:📝 4 things typical co-parenting advice gets wrong about high conflict🎧 019 | High conflict + trauma + our partners' PTSD This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit blendedfamilyfrappe.substack.com

Today is Stepmother's Day, a very real holiday that doesn’t seem to quite show up on anyone’s radar. Stores don’t carry "Happy Stepmother's Day!" cards. You’re not gonna see an ad like “Get Stepmom something as special as she is!” Technically the holiday exists… yet we're not actually acknowledged.Sounds about right. 🤦🏻‍♀️Read the full transcript on Substack >> This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit blendedfamilyfrappe.substack.com

As sucky as it is on a daily basis for our efforts to go unrecognized as stepmoms, there's really no day that hits home more than Mother's Day, and no day when it feels like more of a slap across the face to end up forgotten and overlooked.Thanks for all you do for your partners and your stepkids, today and every day.READ THE FULL TRANSCRIPT ON SUBSTACK >> This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit blendedfamilyfrappe.substack.com

Okay yes stepfamily life is very complex and we all need lots of support, blah blah blah. But you know what else we need? To lighten the heck up sometimes! So today here’s a bunch of stepparenting tips candy-coated in delicious Star Wars lore. Which is more metaphorical to steplife than one might think.Read the full transcript on Substack >> This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit blendedfamilyfrappe.substack.com

There’s a great quote from Lucille Ball that goes “Love yourself first, and everything else falls into line.” That for sure has been my personal experience with stepparenting. (And really, with life in general.)As stepparents, we talk a LOT about loving our stepkids, about loving our partners and our blended families. But what we don’t talk about — and should! — is what we're doing to make sure we're loving ourselves.⠀Before we can help others, first we need to put on our own oxygen mask. Before we can support others, first we need to make sure our own needs are met. We need to stop giving ourselves empty.If the stepparenting role has left you burned out or pretty darn close, please know that stepping back a bit doesn't mean you don't love your stepkids (although it's okay if you don't). There is plenty of middle ground between stepparenting in a sustainable, more hands-off way and being a jerk to your stepkids or ignoring them or something. Stepparenting should not feel like an either/or — it’s about finding out how to make this role work for you. Because you can’t be a good stepparent while simultaneously drowning in frustration and resentment.So somewhere in that never-ending list of things you’re doing constantly for other people, please please please make sure you’re also doing some good deeds for yourself. Let's spend some time remembering how to love ourselves, and trusting that the rest will fall into place. xo--🧡 Need a bigger pep talk? Start here or join us over on Substack! xo This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit blendedfamilyfrappe.substack.com