Together. A Podcast About Relationships
by Erik Newton and Together.Guide
We all know relationships takes work, but what is that work, and how do we do it? Reformed divorce lawyer Erik Newton explores these questions and many more in a series of intimate and honest interviews with real couples.
Episodes
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S3 EP2 - Shop Talk
Our guest today is Andy Horning from the Elephant Talk podcast. Andy is a fascinating guy – he's two kids and over 13 years into his second marriage, he's been a couple's therapist for more than 15 years, and he's a course leader for the Hoffman Institute. In this episode we talk about everything...
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S3 EP1 - Season Opener: The Seminar Trap
First some updates: Aubrie and I eloped on New Years day! (Details inclusive). I'm now the COO of a software startup in San Francisco (Urbit.org). Loving this! This might be the last season of Together. We'll figure it out as we go! Now to our guests! Linda and Charlie Bloom have been a mainstay…
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S2 E19 - Season Ender: The Badass Fat Ass
Today's Episode – number 131 – is the last episode of season two, which means we're off for the summer! We'll be back in September with more interviews! Our guest today, Rachel Dwight is a self described super fat, queer, transgender, disabled superhero. And I'll add that they're a force of…
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S2 E18 From Shame To Intimacy - Megan and Brave
Today's conversation is about shame and how we can use it to explore the darker corners of our relationships. Our guests today, Megan and Brave have done some very useful work in this area - and specifically on what they refer to as "male shame." Listen in to hear what they mean by that! I've…
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S2 E17 - Catholic Swingers – It's Definitely A Thing
Today's episode is about a couple you would never expect might have a secret life. Penn and Page, our guests today, grew up Catholic, married young, had six kids, and were perfectly content living a predictable life, until one day Penn had an idea... --- If you'd like to learn more about Penn and...
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S2 E16 - Emotional Labor
A cultural conversation has been simmering recently about the concept of emotional labor. It's a critical conversation to our relationships, but not many of us know what it means. Today on the podcast, we learn all about what it is, and what to do about it from our guests, Gemma and Rob Hartley....
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S2 E15 We All Must Face Our Demons
Our guest today - Iris McAlpin is a survivor of multiple experiences with sexual abuse, and having recovered from those, she has some unique ideas about how we all should be relating to the perpetrators of these kind of abuses. She also has quite a bit too say about the healing process that's...
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E2 S14 The Power Of A Shared Narrative
Our guests today, Ned and Dorcas share a story about a depression that lasted nearly five years. They not only survived that depression as a couple, but built a massively successful company during that time and started a family that's thriving. This episode is about the tools they used to manage....
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S2 E13 Rape and Reconciliation
The title of this episode says what's it's about: rape and reconciliation. If rape is a topic you find difficult to hear about, you might want to take it easy with this episode. But know that this story is also about reconciliation. It's about the healing process that's available to all of us....
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S2 E12 Be Your Own Sexpert
Our guest today, Nenna Joiner, is an African American Lesbian porn producer and sex shop owner in downtown Oakland. Our conversation ranges all over the sex universe from impotence, to getting on your knees in church and in sex, to whether Lesbians are the new gay men, to - of course - toys and...
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Thanksgiving and Death (Essay)
We are community. We are our friends and family, and we cannot know ourselves without them.
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S2E10 Two Mormons Walk Into A Strip Club...
Today's episode kicks of the first of several stories on the topic of pornography. Today, we're hearing from Nate and Angilyn. Nate is the founder of a website and a podcast about marriage called First7Years.com. He's also done a lovely TedX talk about love. He and Angilyn are both lifelong...
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S2 E9 If Not Everything, Nothing - Thomas and Lauren
The thing about the choice to stay or to go in any given relationship, is that we can never know what might have been. There's no control group to test against for happiness in our life choices. We only know what's right here, right now. Our guests this week – Thomas and Lauren – are facing that...
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S2 E8 The Fascinations of Taboo and Turn On
Our episode today is about the unpredictable results of difficult conversations. There's gold in those hills if you have the courage to dig. Our guests today are avid prospectors, and they have a lot to teach us about the process of emotional inquiry. If you'd like to learn more about Bob, you…
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S2 E7 - All The Relationship Tools You Never Learned
Last week during our interview with Michael and Sara, you may remember they told us about a therapist they had worked with over Skype named Al Turtle. Well I reached out to Al, and today we've got him on the show! It was a long interview. The portion of the conversation we're playing focuses…
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S2 E7 Sometimes You're Gonna Hate
Every once in awhile you're going to hear yourself say the words: "I hate you" to the one you love. Not that we're encouraging it, but let's just normalize the fact that sometimes, anger and frustration bubble over into something we're not proud of. Today's episode is about learning from those...
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S2 E6 - Your Type Doesn't Matter
So long as we're stuck on an internal idea of perfection, we can never fully experience the magic of what's right before our eyes. That's why searching for one's "type," or the "perfect match" can be such a dead end. Our guests today, Jo and Nick–understand this better than most, and share with…
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S2E5 Rules Of Play
Successful couples seem to have an instinct about where to find those moments of giggly surrender that are so effective at helping us all drop the drama and reconnect. This skill is absolutely learnable. It's not a matter of luck, it's a matter of practice. Ryan and Jordana, are guests this week,...
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S2E4 What Is Love, Actually?
We need philosophers and the rigor they bring to the discussions that inform our daily lives. It's critical–particularly in our current political climate–for all of us to consider what we mean by the words we use and the concepts we refer to. So what about love? What does that mean, really? To…
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S2E3 The Thing About Love And Money...
Money and sex–last week I claimed that these are the two most direct access points to our unconscious selves, and so we focused on a story about sexual trauma. This week, it's a story–at least partly–about money. The identity shift is a common reason for breakups that we often hear about. We're…
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S2E2 - The Ins And Outs Of Mindful Sex
Our episode today is about sex and awakening. Sex can trigger our deepest challenges, and our most exalted selves. Whatever the reason, exploring our sexuality is one of our greatest opportunities for personal growth, if we allow it to be. But it's scary. Sure, the sex itself is fun, but we don't...
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S2E1 - Two Straight Guys Walk Into Burning Man...
We're Back! Today's episode is the first episode of Season 2! Our story today has many layers, but at it's core it's about sexual identity and the value of story itself. Rasmus and Michel–two men who had never considered anything other than heterosexual relationships–met on a dance floor in the...
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We're All Simultaneously Crying Wolf (Essay)
We're still on break! We're taking a little time to catch our breath and refresh the format of the The Together Show. In the meantime, we're reading essays – usually those we publish at Together Magazine. I wrote today's essay, as part of a forthcoming book I'm working on, so it hasn't been...
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Why The Best Daters Are Divorced (essay)
We're still on break! We're taking a little time to catch our breath and refresh the format of the The Together Show. In the meantime, we're reading essays – usually those we publish at Together Magazine. Today's essay is called Why The Best Daters Are Divorced. I wrote this one last year based…
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Logical Arguments vs. Tribal Decisions (Essay)
We're on break! We're taking a little time to catch our breath and refresh the format of the The Together Show. In the meantime, we're reading essays – usually those we publish at Together Magazine. I wrote today's essay, after thinking about the following quotations: "In the end, reconciliation…
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Logical Arguments vs. Tribal Decisions (Essay)
We're on break! We're taking a little time to catch our breath and refresh the format of the The Together Show. In the meantime, we're reading essays – usually those we publish at Together Magazine. I wrote today's essay, after thinking about the following quotations: "In the end, reconciliation…
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How Wild Sexual Exploration Made Me A Better Woman (Essay)
We're on break! We're taking a little time to catch our breath and refresh the format of the The Together Show. In the meantime, we're reading essays that we've published at Together Magazine. Today's Article is called How Wild Sexual Exploration Made Me A Better Woman, as read by the author…
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How Mindfulness Killed My Sex Life (Essay)
We're on break! We're taking a little time to catch our breath and refresh the format of the The Together Show. In the meantime, we're reading essays that we've published at Together Magazine. Today's Article is called How Mindfulness Killed My Sex Life. Please don't be shy about letting us know…
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The Divorce Lawyer's Guide To Marriage, Part 4 (Essay)
We're on break! We're taking a little time to catch our breath and refresh the format of the The Together Show. In the meantime, we're reading essays that we've published at Together Magazine. Today's Article is called The Divorce Lawyer's Guide To Marriage, Part 4. Please don't be shy about...
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The Divorce Lawyer's Guide To Marriage, Part 3 (Essay)
We're on break! We're taking a little time to catch our breath and refresh the format of the The Together Show. In the meantime, we're reading essays that we've published at Together Magazine. Today's Article is called The Divorce Lawyer's Guide To Marriage, Part 3. Please don't be shy about...
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The Divorce Lawyer's Guide To Marriage, Part 2 (Essay)
We're on break! We're taking a little time to catch our breath and refresh the format of the The Together Show. In the meantime, we're reading essays that we've published at Together Magazine. Today's Article is called The Divorce Lawyer's Guide To Marriage, Part 2. Please don't be shy about...
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Ever Hate Your Partner? Here's Why (Essay)
We're on break! We're taking a little time to catch our breath and refresh the format of the The Together Show. In the meantime, we're reading essays that we've published at Together Magazine. Today's Article is called Ever Hate Your Partner? Here's Why. Please don't be shy about letting us know…
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The Divorce Lawyer's Guide To Marriage, Part 1 (Essay)
We're on break! We're taking a little time to catch our breath and refresh the format of the The Together Show. In the meantime, we're reading essays that we've published at Together Magazine. Today's Article is called The Divorce Lawyer's Guide To Marriage, Part 1. Please don't be shy about...
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Dear Single Person: You're Doing Nothing Wrong (Essay)
We're on break! We're taking a little time to catch our breath and refresh the format of the show. In the meantime, we're reading essays that we've published at Together Magazine. Today's story is called Dear Single Person: You're Doing Nothing Wrong. Please don't be shy about letting us know if...
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100 - Good Enough Is In Fact Perfect
Today's episode is about finding perfection in the good enough. We all know that nobody is perfect, and we all know that our partners can't possibly live up to our internal expectations. Yet we're always hunting for the perfect partner even though we know that hunt is a dead-end; it leads not to...
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099 - Finding The One After Divorce: Carolyn and Christof
Today's episode is about finally finding the right partner after divorce. My own experience as a divorce lawyer was that my clients who worked through the emotional issues always had very happy second marriages. That contradicts the data on second marriages, but I saw it occurring over and over.…
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What Is Romance, Anyway? David and Ali
Today's episode is about the super bowl! Well, it's about a lot more than that, but a good chunk of the story revolves around what happened at the Super Bowl this year. With that as the backdrop, we get to explore questions of parenting, sex, shared responsibility, and of course my favorite topic...
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097 - Why Women Have Long Memories And Men Fall In Love First; Dr. Helen Fisher Part 2
Today's episode is the second of two bonus episodes made possible by Match. I had always wanted to interview Dr. Helen Fisher; she's a biological anthropologist, and one of the world's foremost experts on the science of love. She is also Match's Chief Scientific Advisor, and so they made the...
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096 - Every Man Has One Golden Arrow: Amy and Matt
Today's episode is about absolute dedication, and it's very romantic. If you've listened to the show before, you know that I often begin interviews by asking how my guests met, but that I like to get past all that so we can explore the challenges that couples face. My view is that we have plenty…
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095 - Will Polyamory Lead To Stronger Marriages? Dr. Helen Fisher
Today's episode is a bonus that I'm very excited to release! I've wanted to interview Dr. Helen Fisher ever since I saw her extraordinary Ted talk about The Brain In Love. She is so insightful and dynamic in all of these talks that I knew she would make a great guest. And I gotta tell you, this…
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094 - God Is At The Center Of Our Marriage: David and Heather
Today's episode is about god being at the center of a marriage. This is an idea that I've wanted to explore for quite some time. We've touched on it in previous episodes, but this is the most in depth conversation I've had with a Christian couple. What I love about this conversation is that David...
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093 - The Unicorn And The Engineer: Lucy and Phillipe
Today's episode is a focus on the early phases of a relationship. I've always thought that a willingness to work on the inevitable challenges in a relationship is the greatest possible expression of romance. Our guests today Lucy and Phillipe are recently engaged, and it's their joyful newness...
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092 - Non-Monogamy Still Has Rules: Chris and Esther's Second Appearance
Today's episode marks the first time we've had a couple back for a second appearance on the show. Chris and Esther first appeared in episodes 29 and 30, which were titled: Polyamory and Divorce, A Story About Love, and Non-Monogamy is Hard Because Relationships Are Hard. In those episodes they...
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091 - I Love You But You're The Wrong Gender! Ginny and Jody
Today's episode is about falling in love when you're just not supposed to. According to most researchers on the subject, human sexual orientation is a spectrum. The Kinsey Scale for instance, one of the most widely used classification systems, rates people along a spectrum from 0–entirely...
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090 - Working Insane Hours For A Shared Passion: Adam and Stacy
Today's episode is about how one couple runs a restaurant together, and somehow manages not to kill each other process. This concept of married couples who work together is something we've heard about on the show before, but I wanted to bring our guests today on the show because they're the...
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089 - Grumpiness vs. Control: Shane and Jessica
Today's episode is about optimizing behavior for happiness in marriage. Shane and Jessica, today's guests have a solidly traditional american marriage. They live in a lovely home in the suburbs of Sacramento, they've got two adorable kids, and two very cute cats. They're friends with all their...
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088 - Widowed at 35: Erin Moon
Our episode today is about loss and renewal. We've all felt loss to one degree or another. And we've all heard about the stages of recovery as well. But the actuality of loss, and specifically the death of a loved one, is something far deeper and more visceral than any explanation can ever…
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087 - The Six Month World Tour: Dan and Natalie
Today's episode is about adventure travel. We thought a story about hitting the road would be a good way to kick off the new year. Happy New Year!! Don't forget to check our sponsor for today's episode: Little Bird, the independent diamond & engagement ring experts. The best way to buy an...
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086 - Year in Review: We Need Relationship Skills Now More Than Ever
We're not posting an interview this week, so we can give ourselves a little break. Instead, we thought we'd post some thoughts on what we've learned this year from the show. Thanks for listening, and Happy Holidays! If you like what we're up to here at together, please consider supporting our...
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085 - We're Transgender: Don't Make It Weird. Jamie, Doe, and Bree
Today's episode is about being transgender. Last week took a first look at the issue of traditional gender roles, and this week we expand the exploration of gender to look at identity. Our guests today, Jamie, Doe, and Bree are all transgender. Jamie is a transgender man, Bree is a transgender...
About this show
We all know relationships takes work, but what is that work, and how do we do it? Reformed divorce lawyer Erik Newton explores these questions and many more in a series of intimate and honest interviews with real couples.
Hosted by
Erik Newton and Together.Guide