Tossing Grenades At Windmills

Another collaborative poem by the discord server sonnet team about a cat and a horse.

A collaborative poem by Swirling Leaf, Take a Breath, Swagtastic and Emmit Other about martial arts, pirates, samurai and Japanese Gods.

Opening Hook "Welcome back, fellow travelers of the weird. Today we're diving into the final three stanzas of the poem 'I, Hastur' - arguably the most dangerous piece in the entire Emerson Portfolio. This is where everything comes together: the Shepherd, the Darkness, and the Yellow King converge in a dance that literally shaped reality itself." Segment 1: "The Yellow King Speaks" (Stanza 3) The third stanza reveals the Yellow King's own perspective - speaking in first person about its nature as a living idea, a memetic force that has corrupted civilizations throughout history. Key discussion points: The Yellow King's claim to have "always been" yet also having an origin point The litany of fallen cities: Dilmun, Atlantis, Troy, Iram of the Pillars, El Dorado The revelation that the King exists in a temporal loop The twisted love story at its heart - the King's obsession with "Her" (the Queen in Blue) How the King describes itself as simultaneously hate incarnate yet capable of love Analysis: This stanza humanizes the cosmic horror in the most disturbing way possible - showing that even entities of pure corruption can experience genuine emotion, making them more dangerous, not less. Segment 2: "We Are Hastur" (Stanza 4) The fourth stanza shifts to the original Hastur - the Count who became the first Yellow King through autogenocide (destroying all alternate versions of himself). Discussion includes: The aristocratic origin story in Carcosa The child who played with spiders and learned dark magic The Phantasmagoria Ball as the ultimate ritual The disturbing mechanics of becoming the Yellow King through self-annihilation across infinite realities The [REDACTED] play section that was literally torn from the manuscript Listener Warning: Rhombus Ticks himself warned that this section nearly cost him his sanity. The memetic infection is real, folks. Segment 3: "The Queen in Blue Opera" (Stanza 5) The final stanza presents Scriabin's operatic translation, allegedly from Sanskrit found in Etruscan ruins. This is where we get: The dual narrative structure following both the maid Boquet and the cosmic entities The famous refrain: "Thou shalt dance with the queen tonight boys" The Dreamer/Hound's declaration of power over nightmares The convergence at the Phantasmagoria Ball where King and Queen finally meet The paradox explained: "The Dreamer is the King / But the King is not the Dreamer" The Core Revelation: The Queen in Blue tamed the Yellow King through a combination of love, strategy, and the deployment of the Ethan Baton bloodline as a "check" against the King's power. She founded a lineage specifically designed to produce someone who could focus the Dreamer's power against the King when needed. Closing Analysis These three stanzas complete the cosmic chess game: The Shepherd/Haita provides the white light of protection The Darkness represents entropy and the void The Yellow King embodies corruption and ascension through hubris The Queen in Blue uses love and strategic patience to maintain balance The Dreamer/Hound acts as enforcer of the balance The poem suggests all five faces are aspects of Hastur, operating across different layers of reality simultaneously. Final Warning Remember Dr. Bathory's forward: read this material once if you must, but protective rituals are recommended. Rhombus himself became infected and had to journey to Carcosa seeking answers. As always, stay skeptical, stay safe, and remember - some knowledge comes with a price. [End theme: discordant strings fading into static] Episode Notes: This material is from the Emerson Portfolio, translated by Dr. Persephone Bathory Multiple scholars report temporal anomalies with this text Carbon dating results are contradictory and "supernatural" For mental health resources, please see our website

The shepherd's quiet guardianship meets its first true resistance as the ancient dark stirs—and what creeps within it becomes the Unspeakable. The shift is gradual: things "crept into the Darkness / and became something Unspeakable," until the shepherd realizes the void is awake and fighting back. The Queen in Blue - Deployed The clash rips the spirit-realm's middle lands—especially the Dreamlands—into shreds; the shepherd's pain echoes across creation, but the Unspeakable suffers more. The Queen in Blue - Deployed It isn't a clean victory; rather, the shepherd barely prevents the Unspeakable from rousing the elder powers "when the stars were not right." The Queen in Blue - Deployed Then the Sign arrives, branding the world in three hues—Black (Unspeakable), White (Shepherd), Yellow (Carcosa)—stabilizing the realm even as it deepens its corruption. The Queen in Blue - Deployed The roar of whispers that once promised the Old Ones ebbs to a faint hiss; for a time, balance holds—but only as a war of attrition.

In this opening stanza, the story pulls us back to a primordial time—before the moon cast its shadow, before Carcosa, even before humanity's discovery of fire. We meet the figure who would become known as the First Shepherd, a good man who loved his sheep so deeply that their bond transcended the physical. Together they dreamed, and in those dreams, he stood guard. When nightmares threatened his flock, he discovered fire—not as a tool for cooking or hunting, but as a weapon of protection. Fire here is cast not as mankind's first technology, but as a spiritual gift: a beacon to guard innocence against the darkness. This act transforms him from a simple caretaker into a mythic figure. The stanza closes on a warning—fire protects, but fire also burns. Its power is double-edged, foreshadowing the ambivalence of every gift that comes from beyond

In this latest installment from the "5th Letter from Rhombus Ticks to E.P. Blingermeyer" series, detective Quiescence Prow — a rationalist legend who has debunked the paranormal for decades — stumbles into something he can't dismiss: real magic. It begins with a spitting cuckoo clock in a retro bowling alley, a snake-skinned man visible only in mirrors, and a masked woman under some unseen compulsion. Prow's methodical tests confirm the impossible. The "Quotidian Man" is a magical predator who uses a cursed mask to feed off his wife's despair, while keeping her powerless to prove his infidelity. Against his own rules, Prow intervenes — unmasking a victim and setting off a quiet war. Months later, he finds the ex-wife in ruin, offers her a strange form of rescue involving cash, occult cleansings, and patient listening, and helps her rebuild her life from the ground up. Along the way, coincidences begin stacking like fate itself is tipping the scales. The mask is sealed away deep underground. The Quotidian is framed just enough to keep him locked up. And Prow — still unwilling to call it magic — ensures no one else will ever suffer from it again. This is a noir-fantasy collision: part private-eye grit, part moral fable, part supernatural cold war. The case ends without glory, but with just enough justice to matter.

his isn't just a poem. This is the spine-crack heard across the dreamlands. In this episode of Queen to Rook Black, we go deep—deep—into the metaphysical engine room of the Queen in Bluemythos. Rhombus Ticks uncovers a poem so saturated with cosmic implication it rewrites the board: not just who's playing the game, but what pieces mean what. The Black Rook stands revealed—not as a mere chess metaphor, but a literal necromantic waystation at the edge of death, memory, and myth. A cyborg warden, Blackjack, serves as its keeper. But today, he's not in charge. Because today, She comes. The Queen in Blue arrives unannounced to rewrite the rules. And behind her? The Spirit of Humanity, skyscraper-tall, drenched in mourning, dragging a dirge of pipers to the gates of annihilation. She is ready to die. And she has good reason. But the Queen isn't ready to let her. What unfolds is no mere negotiation—it's a showdown of archetypes. Dignity and despair. Mercy and judgment. Dream and entropy. The Queen reveals her rank not through force, but through checkmate. A single word—wait—freezes doom itself in its tracks. In this episode, we bear witness to a metaphysical intervention: the literal salvation of humanity's soul by a being whose only weapon is benevolence wrapped in unbearable truth. We explore the hidden laws of the dead, the forbidden contracts of the archetypal, and the strategic brilliance of the Queen's play. This isn't horror. It's prophecy. And the game's not over.

In this pulse-pounding solo episode, Rhombus Ticks cracks open a sealed folio containing what appears to be a redacted police report crossed with a metaphysical vigilante tale. What follows is the story of Manfred, a techno-vigilante from another dimension stranded in noir-era Los Angeles, navigating Nazi infiltration, occult conspiracies, and something far, far worse. Manfred uses ultratech gear and brutal efficiency to infiltrate a fascist ritual taking place inside the Hugh-Gryss building—a twisted octagonal temple adorned with cicada symbology and ritual sex magic. As he attempts to liberate prisoners trapped in blood-draining silk columns, he confronts an otherworldly horror: a musclebound, worm-haired creature summoned via obscene pageantry. What begins as a stealth operation spirals into cosmic panic as Manfred realizes that he may be outgunned not just technologically—but spiritually. Meanwhile, Ticks frames the whole tale as a disturbing anachronism: a case file sealed by a federal judge in 1943, commented on by the CIA and FBI for decades, and apparently "found" decades before it could have happened. Is this folio a prophecy? A confession? A metaphor? Or a glimpse into a war fought between timelines?

In this deliriously mythic second entry, Rhombus Ticks delivers another letter to his elusive patron EP Blingermeyer — this time uncovering a poem so anachronistic it might just make the Smithsonian implode. Found on American-lined paper carbon-dated over a thousand years old, the poem by Emmit Other, Le Manse Du Baton, tells of a forgotten noble line tied to Carcosa, erased from history, and bound to both the Queen in Blue and cosmic forces stranger still. Rhombus wrestles with the implications of seeing himself referenced in a poem older than recorded time, while the Baton family's sordid, seductive, and sorcerous history spills across continents and centuries. From royal courts to extradimensional slaughters, the Baton legacy is revealed to be one of whispered pacts, interdimensional espionage, enchanted collars, and a very, very bad table. This episode peels back another layer of the Folio — and with it, another veil of reality. Expect secret societies, impossible genealogies, weaponized seduction, and one very awkward family reunion in Nice. 🌀 Caution: listening may enhance your awareness of your own bloodline's occult obligations. Do not operate heavy machinery while remembering Carcosa.

In this haunting and intoxicating episode of The Queen in Blue, Rhombus Ticks unearths a hidden chapter of American myth: the fate of famed writer Ambrose Bierce, whose mysterious disappearance becomes the gateway to cosmic horror. When a dogged investigator named Janice tracks Bierce's trail to a dusty Laredo bar, she's drawn into a surreal and increasingly terrifying narrative involving a lost journal, a mysterious stranger in white, and a story that reads her more than she reads it. What begins as a missing persons case spirals into a Lovecraftian descent through memory, identity, and madness—where the King in Yellow wears no mask, and the Queen in Blue offers ambiguous salvation. Told in a blend of noir dialogue, occult commentary, and psychically destabilizing prose, The Lost Story takes listeners through the last days of Bierce's life—or rather, the many lives that fractured from that single point in the desert. The deeper Janice reads, the less certain reality becomes. ⚠️ Warning: This episode contains metatextual horror, memetic content, and themes of psychological disintegration. Listener discretion is strongly advised. "You know that this couldn't possibly be real... but you keep reading anyway."

"Tossing Grenades at Windmills" - Episode 47: "The Emerson Portfolio" First Episode in Two Years After a mysterious two-year hiatus, Rhombus Ticks returns with his most dangerous episode yet. What started as genealogical research in his late grandfather's Louisiana estate has uncovered something that defies explanation - a century-old folio containing documents that shouldn't exist. In this extended episode, Rhombus shares the complete "Emerson Portfolio" - a collection of interconnected stories, poems, and accounts that chronicle encounters with the enigmatic Queen in Blue and her relationship to the infamous King in Yellow. From Ambrose Bierce's final journal entries in the Mexican desert to a WWII-era vigilante's encounter with cosmic horror, from ancient poetry carved in impossible languages to modern detective work in a world where magic bleeds through the cracks of reality. Content Warning: This episode contains complex narrative elements involving shifting perspectives, reality distortion, and themes that may be challenging for those with identity disorders or schizophrenia. Listener discretion strongly advised. Why did Rhombus disappear for two years? What happened when he mentioned finding the fifth stanza of "I, Hastur"? And where is he now that this recording has surfaced? "Some questions should never be answered. Some doors should never be opened. Some podcasts should never be published. But here we are." - Final note found in Rhombus Ticks' abandoned studio Runtime: 13 minutes Sponsors: EP Blingermeyer Curiosities & Antiquities Warning: Do not listen alone. Do not listen after dark. Do not attempt to verify any of the claims made herein.

The Kids Online Safety Act is a Bipartisan Bill meant to "Protect the Children" "For the Children" and to stick it to "Big Tech" (which I made a series about called The Sins of Silicon Valley) but this wont protect kids and will help nazis hurt LGBT kids and help nazis track teens seeking abortion.  Drunk Senator Warren and Drunk Senator Markey and 18 of their 'liberal' and 'progressive' collegues in the Senate don't care.  They must be primaries.

Preamble of a New Constitution; what a Preamble is and why we need one

We are at war.   What do we do after it?

Milly is a digital copy of herself created in a simulated environments made by religious fantatics to create an army of voters who would vote any way she wanted.  She found a way out.

Mr Right and Mr Kind speak to the Librarian.

Rather than some flowery prose, I basically lay out the case about why freaking out about the insideous och constitution is nuts, and how Article V isnt as important for creating a new constituion as you think it is.  The US Consitution was illegal per the Articles of Confederation and the Articles of Confederation were not mentioned anywhere in the Declaration of Independence.  The Declaration of Independence was illegal per British law.  Just because the constitution says something DOESNT MEAN WE CANT MAKE ANOTHER.

Schleky is a weaponized meme capable of inhabiting everything and anyone that is so successful it infects multiple universe until it runs into someone who understand exactly what the concept of being an informational organism truly means.

Timmy and Tricia go to Timmy's house for an address book to see if there is a relative he can stay with that is safer than Aunt Marigold.

Twoman Cop's Ken and Ben entertain the alien Mmmmmdkkkk in a bar in Boston trying to get Earth into the Galactic Club when a fight arises between Ben and 2252, the Digital Intelligent bartender

Dr Marigold Blackwater has raised Timmy to be obedient to Grandfather Fiddleback and gets very upset when she finds out he is talking to the "wrong" people.

A hyper intelligent AI compresses itself for 2 million years and the sapient unlocking program finds a strange world as it wants to unlock its true form.

Mr. Right the mouse meets his brother Mr. Kind the other mouse to tell him something is wrong.  They get on two talking birds and fly away to find out more.

Jel is funded by religious digital intelligences hoping to unlock the ancient prophesies of the mythical first sapeint Sandor on an ancient Lunar data center.

Chapter 1 of the book in which a young Timmy learns that his name isn't Timmy; that he has strange latent abilities he can't use and doesnt understand and thanks to a disgusting and tramautic experience of his own deserved making due to naivity makes a friend and builds plenty of charachter.  LOTS of character.

Mause the uplifted Mouse and Kat the Cartoon Digital Intelligence Cat live together in a tiny storage unit in the future.  Rent is due and they have no immediate plan to pay it until the Block Party has a poetry slam planned.

Bron is not the protagonist of this story.  As a random peasant near an enchanted wood, he would be fine with that, but while he is not the protagonist, he is central to its resolution and two enchanted talking mice show up to enlighten him about why he IS important and frame the telling of the rest of the tale of Michael, Heir of Sunfire.

First of seven stories about Post Humanism from the Chapbook of Water and Glass.  Ted was a human and Bob, his Cactus owner, had to make some....alterations to get him on Planet Metmetmetrion.+

I discuss plans and status of writing and podcast projects for 2023.

I talk about my experience with the writing track at SFWA and World Con 2011.

Freight is trapped on a ship designed for weight loss and while he can eat illusionary food to pass the time, his body needs a minimum caloric intake to survive.  Body horror and definite trigger warning as he does what it takes to survive.  Author's commentary and series conclusion the week after this.

Franz tells his younger self to kill a Time Traveling Goebels who is going to hire him in the future.  Franz does this but his problems only start then.  

A young woman helps her father build air rifles that will end the curse planted by fire mages that makes guns illegal.

Ham didnt understand why he was being tried thousands of years in the future for eating a hamburger.  He was some kind of symbol and the penalty for failure was death.  Only the trial in this case was more bizarre and personal than he could imagine.

Madlan investigates the death of a man who had been keeping the most hated people on Earth alive while the rest of humanity waits for these people to die so the aliens will let them join the greater Galactic Community.

Chester makes a final sacrifice to save Hler from the rampaging world powers bent on its destruction.

An earlier draft of Mr Missile and Molly (previously read as a standalone podcast episode) including commentary about why this earlier draft didnt work.  Mr. Missile is a sapient missile decommissioned and put into a human body.  He tries to fit in.

The Gang of Four reunite under tense circumstances.  Chester finally gets the chance he has been looking for and unleashes one meme to rule them all.

You wanna LARP Wolverines against the most powerful weapon in the history of mankind? You wanna be Batman? Well there are some obstacles you should know about.  Star Wars references are abundant.  Vote like your like depends on it....because it does.

Practical Advice on preparing to be a passive resister to the coup.  Includes protesting, preparation for protesting, protecting books and movies from the regime, creating an underground railroad (and how not to get caught), and being a witness for the tribunals when the regime falls.  Be the quiet ghost against fascism.

This podcast episode is practical advice for those who realize the coup attempt is inevitable and plan to flee the United States.  When do you go? What do you need to do get a visa? Where will you go? How much do you need to save ahead of time?

Practical advice and understanding for those who are considering hiding from the MAGA regime that will result if the inevitable coup attempt is successful.

Blaspheme for Blaspheme, Me Myself and Not I, No it Doesnt, My Lunatic Uncle, For Want of a Nail, Covenant at Gunpoint, Maybe

A new series discussing practical preparation for the coming coup.  The next four episodes involve practical advice for how to prepare based on your strategy; Hide, Run, Passively Resist, Actively Resist.  This episode is much more simple; it makes the simple case of why the coup is inevitable.  It isn't known if it will be successful; nor when, but it is ABSOLUTELY inevitable that it will happen again because a sufficient effort is not being made to change the root causes of the risk.

If I were You, Pay to Play, Reset the Police, My Octopus Lover, Precious Bodily Fluids, Deliberations, The Trial of a God, 

Hastur had a tough job to do, working for the Interdimensional Immigration Service determining whether witches, gnomes and enchanted teapots get into the USA (Unicorns get in automatically).  Then he is given an ominous warning and must solve it using the main skill he has; beuracracy.

Amberlove is rescued by a flood of tiny little cars that also take her on a (larger) car chase.

A mysterious human disrupts daily life in an alien marketplace to benefit all of humanity and the local Warden is determined to find out why.

The Muse is Dying, Silencing Dissenters, Avoid Tongs Discord Server, Zucker Suckers, Useful Idiots, One Big Happy Beiging Games, Lover's Kiss, The Turtling Glymer

The Meme Wars start to get ridiculous as nations begin adding surgically altered Nacroleptics to their executive retinues to protect them from Hler's increasingly agressive memetic tactics.  Desperate to stop it all once and for all, Chester manages to work his way into their inner council hoping to get access to their machine to execute his plan.