PODCAST · comedy
Trader Hoes
by Trader Hoes
Two Hoes dishing out weekly reviews of Trader Joe's products. New episodes every Monday!
Episodes
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Maple Pumpkin Maple Pumpkin
This week, The Hoes are soft-launching pumpkin season. (Yes, pumpkin spice has been out for a month, but it’s finally “fall” weather in AZ. Don’t come for us!) We’re easing the transition into Trader Joe’s favorite time of year with a few new maple faves before tackling what should be an illegal...
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Apple Shrapnel
Apple may not be the Hoes’ favorite baby name, but it just might be our favorite seasonal flavor. Sorry, pumpkin! This week, Katie and Evie are biting into new(ish) Trader Joe’s apple picks and pairing them with seasonal flavor brainstorming, Evie’s weird food-texture fascinations (again), and…
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Herby Fully Loaded
The Hoes are testing out Trader Joe’s cream cheeses and questioning their identities. Will pumpkin spice reign supreme? Is Evie adopted? Find out in this very dairy episode! In the cart: Pumpkin Cream Cheese Spread Whipped Strawberry Flavored Cream Cheese Spread Peaches + Cream Cream Cheese…
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Hold My Beer Cheese
The Hoes are getting down and dirty with some new Trader Joe's cheese and Evie's nasal cavaties may never be the same. Neither will you once you hear Katie's take on butt vomit and mouth farts. In the cart: Pink Peppercorn Fontina Cheese Paulus Abbey Beer Cheese Walnut Gouda Cheese White Stilton...
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Snack Attack
This week, the Hoes are raiding the snack cabinet to try Trader Joe’s latest salty, crunchy, and sweet items. They’re pairing every bite with a medical professional’s opinion of the fiber gummy worms (RIP), one hosting move that could potentially ruin the friendship, and forcing Evie to choose a...
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Protein Queens
We know you Hoes aren’t getting enough protein (Big Protein says none of us are), so we’re dedicating this episode to macros, convenience, and packing the most important meal of the day with maximum protein. We’re also waking up on the right side of the bed with the possibility of self-checkout…
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Deformed Cannoli
The Hoes are diving into Trader Joe's frozen desserts section and Katie's world may never be the same. It showdown of reimagined s'mores, butthole donuts, cannoli lookalikes and pre-workout cannelés – because that's how real athletes fuel up before spin class. In the cart: Cannelés S'mores Bars...
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Ramen Phase
This week, the Hoes grab their spoons and take a nostalgic trip back to college while diving into Trader Joe’s ramen soup cups. Katie and Evie pair these sodium-filled delights with our laziest “cooking” hacks, a natural yet ill-advised replacement for lip filler, and shoutouts to two of our most...
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Butter Your Muffin
The Hoes are returning to Trader Joe’s baked good section where they’ve learned to keep their expectations low. Will these muffins be another disappointment or can these breakfast carbs win them back? In the cart: Cinnamon Coffee Cake Muffins Strawberry Muffins Double Chocolate Muffins
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Candy Crushed
This week, the Hoes have a sweet reunion, made all the sweeter with some new Trader Joe’s confections. Along with these cavity-inducing treats, Katie and Evie admit they would be horrible witnesses to a crime, question whether frogs have ears, and describe (in far too much detail) the lifecycle…
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Sweet Conspiracy
The Hoes are unwrapping some sweets treats and even sweeter lore from their local Trader Joes. Get ready for mango, passion fruit and possible hidden messages in the TJ's murals. In the cart: Dark Chocolate Mango & Passion Fruit Crème Thin Cups Mango & Passion Fruit Squares Milk Chocolate…
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Lemons Heads
To celebrate summer, the Hoes are puckering up for some of Trader Joe’s new lemon items. They’re savoring both the sweet and the sour while indulging in the perfect nostalgia of wafer cookies, proof that Katie’s always been this way, the only edible necklace that would get Evie to a rave, and the...
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Meat Sweats
The Hoes are hitting (overdosing?) their protein goals this week with Trader Joe’s finest cuts of pre-cooked, pre-seasoned and pre-sliced meat. It’s big, it’s beefy and it’s probably bad for Katie’s mushy heart. In the cart: Gyro Slices Grassfed Beef Sirloin Roast Shaved Beefsteak
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STUFFED
This week, the Hoes are diving into all things stuffed. Cheese, cream, peanut butter, and more are all meeting in the gooey middles of these pocket Trader Joe's items. Once you bite in, you'll also find our envy of tall girls, Katie's possible past life as a mermaid, and Evie's weird-ass way of...
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Antiplasty
The Hoes are on the road and throwing it back to the thing that got them hooked on Trader Joe's in the first place: charcuterie. This episode features olive appreciation, questionable meat nuggets and a potential cheese pinup calendar. In the cart: The Sheepish Tomato Parmesan Tapenade Antipasti...
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Mush and Pud
Thanks to a special request from Katie’s husband, Salvador, the Hoes are diving headfirst into Trader Joe’s mush (overnight oats) and pud (pudding) offerings. Peel back the foil lid, and you’ll also find matching blood types and shirts, Evie’s overnight oats recipe, and some impeccable Vanna…
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RAVioli4
The Hoes are on the road and testing out the RAVioli 4, which is either Toyota’s latest model of pasta SUV or an episode stuffed with Trader Joe’s ravioli options. In the cart: Sweet Corn, Burrata & Basil Tomato & Burrata Goat Cheese & Carmelized Onion Chicken Sausage
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Bowl of Balls
The Hoes have hit the road for a little summer review retreat, and to kick things off, they're diving into a big bowl of mystery meat...balls. While they try to win the meatball lottery, sampling all three of Trader Joe's fresh chicken meatballs, they also make some truly troublesome food...
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Instabetes
This week, the Hoes are getting a serious sugar rush from Trader Joes, including two questionable confections, a patriotic taffy and a strawberry candy so good, we’d sing about if we weren’t so afraid of getting sued. In the cart: Red White & Blue Cookie Bites Flat Taffy Root Beer Float Pieces...
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Lunch Broken
This week, the Hoes are taking a quick lunch break, but this lunch may very well break them. Katie and Evie are topping these sandwiches with some Trader No’s, the first ranking predictions, and an impassioned spit take. In the cart: Chicken and Cheddar Cheese Sandwich on Cranberry Seeded Wheat...
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Aaahh!!! Real Lychee
The Hoes are getting juiced - with Joe’s fruitiest of refreshments. We’re up to the gills in Guava and Katie is up to her in a full-body bathing suit. Not included: the drink umbrella Trader Joe loves so much. In the cart: Passion Fruit Orange Guava 100% Juice Blend Organic Guava Nectar Juice...
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Readin' & Eatin': Dungeon Crawler Carl
We’ve got a special treat for you this week, Hoes: A peek at the exclusive episodes our Patrons get each month in our Readin’ & Eatin’ series, where we pair Trader Joe's snacks with our latest literary obsession. In this episode, we're descending into the chaotic, explosive, and high-stakes world...
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Paprika Prapika
While the Hoes are normally pretty cheesy, this week they have reason to be extra sharp. Katie and Evie are slicing into four new(ish) new options from the cheese case, with unexpected results. In addition to the Multigrain Crackers, they’re pairing these dairy delights with pondering how Katie...
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Crispy Top, Fudgy Bottom
The Hoes are back on the baked goods and expectations are all over the place. From the neon shortbread to the tea time blondies, it’s a shelf-stable rollercoaster of sweet, sweet carbs. In the cart: Strawberry Brioche Style Liège Waffles Lemon Flower Cookies Earl Grey Blondie Bars
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Wake and Break
Time is a construct, so the Hoes are digging into breakfast for dinner this week. But why stop at challenging the self-inflicted limitations of time? Katie and Evie also question what can realistically (and safely) be car food, if humans really need silverware, and how long is too long in the...
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Impulse Buys
Trader Joe's set the trap, and we walked right into it. This week, we've reviewing those items near the checkout that just happen to make their way into your cart at the last minute. For better or worse. We also squeeze in whether clones celebrate birthdays, the possible familial relations of…
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Flavor Blasted
The Hoes are hitting the snack aisle once again to try Trader Joe's much talked about ranch rolls (their name, not Joe's). While they're there, they'll also have a chance to sing about buffalo popcorn and talk new nut merch. In the cart: Ranch Flavored Rolled Corn Tortilla Chips Buffalo Ranch...
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Jambalaya Fusolloni
The Hoe's are hitting up Trader Joe's frozen pasta, and that's if you use the "pasta" verrry loosely. Of course eating endless amounts of carbs isn't their only skillset – these Hoes can also name your baby, pack your suitcase and tell you where to build your next Trader Joes. In the cart:...
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Juiced & Jacked
This week, the Hoes thought that they found one of TJ’s best-kept secrets in the refrigerated smoothies. But some secrets should never be told. They’re also blending in Evie’s new rap name, Katie’s fear of jacked-up babies, and the love story between bananas and nuts. In the cart: Organic Coconut...
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An Insult to Pizza
Can you believe i?, The Hoes are cooking! Ok technically, they’re just warming up frozen pizzas but the bar is extremely low these Hoes and apparently even lower for some of these Trader Joes pies. In the cart: Tarte au Brie et aux Tomates Tarte d'Alsace with Ham, Onions, and Gruyere Burrata,...
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Noodle Units
This week, the Hoes are shaking this up with a few of Trader Joe's newer pre-made pasta salads. After removing the sauce packets from the tiny plastic containers, they also fit in the concept for a new crime-fighting pasta show for kids, why Katie could never commit a crime, and the Cucumber...
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I Scream for A/C
It was 91 degrees in February and the Hoes are coping with some new frozen favorites from Trader Joe’s. If you love instant affagato, pistachio having its moment, super-sized macrons, and unpacking Katie’s pigeon trauma, then you’re in for a treat, Hoes. In the cart: 2 Affogatos Vanilla Non-Dairy...
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Is It Car Cake?
This week, the Hoes are asking an age-old question: Is this a cake you can eat in your car? Not even childhood trauma is going to keep them from getting an answer as Katie and Evie try Trader Joe's mini sheet cakes for the first time. They're also mixing in getting cookie samples from Jeff(?),...
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Piquant? Pecont? Peekant?
The Hoes are hitting up the snack aisle and finding their new stripper names in the process. From curried potato chips to yeasty popcorn, it's a full-flavored episode that'll have you pondering deep thoughts like, "Do I look like my dog?" and "How do you pronounce 'Piquant?" In the cart: Sweet...
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What A Spread
This week, the Hoes fight through some technical issues to dip into the deep end of Trader Joe's dips. Katie and Evie also scoop up garlic blindness, a severe lack of poker face, and their new pitch for an HGTV show, Dippin' and Flippin'. In the cart: Roasted Tomato Labneh Dip Caesar Salad Dip...
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Love Is In The Air
Happy Valentine’s and Galentine’s Day to all who celebrate! The Hoes are back with some sweet favorites and some new discoveries. Will they be love at first bite or taste like bitter disappointment? Did we even love pink before Victoria Secret brainwashed us? And when will Trader Joe’s start...
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Bad Bunny Concert Day
This week, the Hoes are prepping for the upcoming Bad Bunny concert, surrounded by sports, with some game day faves. They're pairing these snacks with getting roasted by AI, some humbling pronunciations, and accepting their true selves as Crab Rangoon Girls. In the cart: Chicken Uncured Bacon…
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Poppycock
The Hoes are back with some bubbly biome boosting sodas. Will they even learn the difference pre and probiotic? Who can say! But one thing's for sure, Trader Joe's is jumping on that gut health train. They also crack into Coke's medicinal past, spitting in the ocean, and our dream sponsor,...
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Dipsticks
Rounding out the return of the Hoes, Katie and Evie share Part 3 of the items they've been dying to review over the last 3 years! Also on the table are Katie's questionable cottage cheese choices, Evie's dip obsession, and the need for Everything But The Bagel bath bombs. In the cart: Ranch…
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Holy Mole
The Hoes are back with Part 2 of the items they've been dying to review over the last 3 years! Also up for discussion are Evie's lifelong love of ranch, Katie leaning into her bitter old hag era, and the iconic millennial franchise that was CPK. (RIP) In the cart: Chicken Mole Beef Birria BBQ &...
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Heyyy Hoes
The Hoes are back, babyyyyyy! Katie Bravo and Evie Bickes dust off the mics (literally) to share the items they wish they could have discussed over the past three years. Plus, Evie's hot takes, Katie's lack of Hot Pocket experience, and an overwhelming awkwardness in front of a camera. The Goods:...
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Ciao For Now
Well, Hoes, here we are. The final-ish episode of Trader Hoes. But before we embark on our bye-atus, we took a stumble down memory lane, aided by a few drinks recommended by you and a possible Penis Truck sighting. Thank you, Hoes, for the recommendations, the messages, the support, and just for...
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Hot Hoes
It's our second to last episode, which means there's just enough time to squeeze in a special guest appearance from the Trader Bros (aka our partners)! It's a Hot Ones inspired showcase of Trader Joe's spicy sauces so get ready feel the (heart)burn. In the cart: Incredisauce Tamarind Sauce Green...
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Savory Request
This week, we’re leaving it all on the table, including grandma. We tackle our InstaHoes’ savory suggestions, repay them by completely butchering their names, and walk away with a few new favorites. Not on the menu but certainly on our minds: Shrinky Dinks, a Trader Joe’s and Jack in the Box...
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Bittersweet
It is with heavy hearts and full carts that we announce the end of Trader Hoes will be coming at the end of this month. It probably won’t be goodbye for forever, but it is ciao for now. We thank every one of you for tuning in each Monday and celebrating the best grocery store that ever existed…
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Basket Case: The Library Is Open
Get your bifocals ready, Hoes. We're about to read our favorite but flawed grocery store like never before. While we may not be at RuPaul's Drag Race level, we do dig into everything from recalls to copywriting to commitment-phobia. Because after all, we've spent years supporting Trader Joe's, so…
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Spicy Takes
Trader Joes's is bringing the heat and these Hoes are here for it. From a savory salsa to buffalo style almonds, Katie and Evie explore TJ's newest spicy items. Not on the menu but certainly on their minds: extreme squeams, saguaro cacti, and is buffalo having a moment? In the cart: Buffalo Style...
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New Cheese on the Block
The Trader Hoes put Trader Joe’s new pizza halloumi to the test and try the old Amsterdam gouda that has Bon Appetite writer, Alex Beggs talking. Get ready for a dairy fueled basket case that begs the question, why? In the basket: Pizza Bread Cheese Old Amsterdam Premium Aged Gouda Support the show
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Forgotten In Some Chocolate
If you’re into hugs, this episode is for you! If you’re not into hugs but are into chocolate and nut butters, this episode is also for you! If you’re not into hugs and don’t like chocolate or nut butters, well… we got nothing, but we still think you should listen. Not on the menu but certainly on...
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Basket Case: Why You So Obsessed With Me?
We love finding another person as obsessed with Trader Joe's as we are. So, we were thrilled when we stumbled upon Bon Appetit's Food People episode, "Why are people so obsessed with Trader Joe's?" Though we may not have agreed with all of her superlatives, we definitely want to be Alex Beggs'…
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ABOUT THIS SHOW
Two Hoes dishing out weekly reviews of Trader Joe's products. New episodes every Monday!
HOSTED BY
Trader Hoes
CATEGORIES
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Frequently Asked Questions
How many episodes does Trader Hoes have?
Trader Hoes currently has 200 episodes available on PodParley. New episodes are automatically indexed when they're published to the podcast feed.
What is Trader Hoes about?
Two Hoes dishing out weekly reviews of Trader Joe's products. New episodes every Monday!
How often does Trader Hoes release new episodes?
Trader Hoes publishes regularly with 200 episodes available. Check the episode list for the typical release schedule.
Where can I listen to Trader Hoes?
You can listen to Trader Hoes on PodParley by clicking any episode. We provide an embedded audio player for direct listening, and you can also subscribe via your preferred podcast app using the RSS feed.
Who hosts Trader Hoes?
Trader Hoes is created and hosted by Trader Hoes.
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