Turi Ryder's "She Said What?" Podcast

We get advice from old[er]  people. Marci tackles the Grand Canyon. Risks, and how to benefit from other people's reckless behavior. Explosive cyclospora euphemisms. Fuzzy things are not always cute. The flying squirrels (or are they chipmunks) of the Grand Canyon.

Forest fire air. How to spot faux Italian cooking (and a restaurant that served it).  The wandering kosher turkey. The non-miracle of kosher salt.  IMAX in  Arizona without A/C. Whoops, wrong lettuce or cheering for good poops.

Strategies for keeping your adult children from moving back in, including cinder block. Daddy long legs, worms, centipedes, and axolotyl lizards, oh my. How to delete a recurring nightmare from your consciousness.

More reasons to lie to your spouse. Religion can save you from household drudgery. Marci contemplates blood in IMAX. An ample obsequious Alexa in every room. Education, Home Depot, and the baked potato.

"BCE"—before cellphones existed. Nice people make Turi look bad. When your spouse manipulates to make you manipulative. The non-shocking shock collar. The eternal conversation between mothers of kids behaving badly. When you are still punk. The unexpected sea chanty.

Marci's personal "Burning Man" is causing her to reevaluate mountain living. What you can watch with a TV antenna. Turi's long, garlicky, painful busride: lessons learned.  

Marci is looking for safety as Arizona burns, and she may need to pick up a couple of hundred cats. There are the realistically phobic people, and the nut jobs and paranoics. You can find out who is who on social media.Turi is cautioned never to watch Game of Thrones. Fireworks in a hazard zone. Pickpocketing—a  national sport. Fear of mascots.

The longer something has not been working, the better you feel when you find out you didn't break it. A room full of sports writers, and a moment of silence.

Rattlesnakes are all over Marci's neighborhood. There's a plan for that. Disgusting things you probably never thought dogs could do. Disgusting things you probably never thought pigs could do.

Marci demonstrates the unusual value and properties of childproof caps, smartphones, and Skin-So-Soft. That friend who sends you articles about woo-woo faux science, and one of the hocus pocus queens leaves for an alternate dimension. Or maybe just leaves. 

Marci has been caring for a toddler…a toddler who thinks diaper training is a game. We've all been there, and some of us (including even ourselves and perhaps some famous people) don't seem to have fully solved the problem.

It takes a rabbit to catch Marci's dog. New rural neighbors with loud radios and a backhoe. Choosing pets and husbands for looks, or, the every-six-year haircut. Audio books are NOT efficient (don't believe anyone who tells you "I get so much done…") No use for "Catcher in the Rye." More use for "Lord of the Flie." Marci likes "Justice Judy."

The two-hour drive for the 5 minute appointment. Peter Pan vs the computer or, who is the grown up here? Robin Byrd interviewed Ron Jeremy a million years ago—when nobody waxed. Hygene for furniture.

Marci yields to a highway (Route 66) full of hotrods, but the vibe is a little to sultry. How to apologize to old people. Birds that hang on your chest, and the women who love them. The "I'll finish it later" problem.

Turi is assigned homework. To be more accurate—bathroom work. Doctors you should not marry. The out-of-context in-person meeting, or "I know I know you…."  What you eat when you are too hungry. Rummaging through your kitchen cupboard late at night. 

Marci finds an unused liquid in her bathroom cabinet…and decides to try it. Turi is assigned the collection of an entirely different fluid.

A business' web site tells you exactly what it thinks of its competition…and possibly you.

Fun navigating in and negotiating with your city bureaucracy (extra points if your city is Oakland, CA.)  Don't touch my tree. How do you know if you're being asked for a bribe? Wedding madness: Marci's youngest plans her event-which involves demolishing Marci's property. The semi-permanent sidewalk art in a trendy Chicago neighborhood: a dessicated rat.

When was the last time someone asked you for a bribe? How do you know? The City of Oakland, California vs The City of Chicago. Marci's daughter's wedding plans. Dead rats on the sidewalk vs redwood trees upending the sidewalk. 

Sometimes you wish there were an explanation for your difficult week—but the planets and stars are not it. Somehow, the glasses are your fault. The primary school valentine for the kid you didn't like. The hazard of "don't you know who I am?" Things (famous) people should have learned about Zoom. Marci wears the wrong shirt to appear on national TV. And Elvis…is still dead.

Marci does something many of you would never, ever do—and now she is in pain. Nature is arguably bad. The Midwest vs. California, or the open bar vs the vegetable platter. (When we say hide the sausage, we mean it.)

Marci's neighboring mountain is in flames (nobody is hurt) with extremely inconvenient results. Wildlife hits the ground. The blended worm. Biology you've forgotten.  What not to have outside your expensive store. The "Most Oblivious Partner" contest announcement (and why we're holding one.)

New ideas for getting rid of toxic waste, purchasing furniture, or possibly removing unwanted house guests. How to entertain your children, recklessly. Mummies make great babysitters. Not the British kind, the dead kind.

Whenever you plan a trip….there's that news story. Switchbacks to Sedona. The Hell's Angels go shopping. Swedish biker fish. Escape of the hounds.

That's not what you thought you were eating. What's in your underwear? Admit you're too old for that. Insulting a house for sale online. How to die in the bathtub. Rebuilding Elvis' house at your house, or how to mangle 150 year old mansion. The Jungle Room in Reno.

Five days, one missing phone. Paying ransom. If aliens abduct your partner… Falling back in love with the dollar store. A lifetime supply is a terrifying thing. The artist's vaccine, and poisoned manicotti. Ma'am, are these your goats?

When everything goes wrong on your birthday, is that karma? Three dogs, three ways to ruin your life. One solution to missing out on a promotion: poison your colleague. Can you take your dog's drugs?

Getting back on the horse—really. Revelations about Marci's past. The dog that hates your partner. The fancy birthday dinner that takes you back to your childhood…in a not great way. How much did you pay for that drink? Scary restaurant mascots. Steak.

Grandbabysitting, and what the space age diaper change. Exhaustion vs insomnia.  The boomer iPhone case. Your bra as a weapon. The eye exam or "get that optician off my lawn." Happy birthday to us.

Have you ever heard friends describe their perfect holiday and thought "that sounds like hell"? This is what that sounds like.  And, extra expensive holiday food that is purposely awful.

The last pre-Passover sprint. Travelling a little too light, and a little too late. The emotional support worm.  

The list of things we're not talking about. School lunch failures. A dog flies out the window, and a bunny takes blame. The new refrigerator challenge. Shopping for Passover at 7,000 feet. Somebody loves matzah, and we know who it is. Making a living with toilet seat art. Whither the giant rat?

Marci has been on a quest for corned beef. Things you remember about St. Patrick's Days gone by…plus nausea, vomit, and one really bad date. The Gene Simmons waffle maker, and other mysterious promotional products.  

Taylor Sheridan creates (again and again) bimbos in bikinis. Marci's lost and found. The Oscars' swag bag has coupons. You don't want them.

An accidental waste of time. The wrong line at Costco. No faith in multitasking. Porn on the job. Call Triple A. Google paranoia. Who counts ants? The pet lizard and the wrong roach.

The revolving foster dog. When your friends send you fiction they think is fact. How to know it's not news. Using the BBC as Valium. How to find the right podcast.

Badass cat. Almost broken enough. How the Chinese will take over America. Hint: you have one next to your bed. Working from home ideas: develop your own kink website. YouTube vs Only Fans.

Dammit. That was supposed to make your life easier. Who dares to put his stuff in your closet? Can you live on what's in your pantry?

When you had to turn the car around as a disciplinary technique. What the algorithm feeds you, or how your favorite celebrity would look if s/he weren't dead. Confession: beauty products your loved ones are not allowed to use.

Do men communicate psychically? The BAFTA  Awards show, the TV guy with tourette's, (John Davidson)—in which we actually try (and fail) to tackle a serious topic. Are Michael B Jordan and Delroy Lindo owed an apology? The eggshell moment.

When beauty goes wrong—the eyebrow edition. When dirt is fun, and appliances are exciting. The Hefty Bag suitcase or…how many socks are you wearing?

Be careful how you file things—accuracy can hurt you. When the budget airline decides to go upmarket, and it's made its living on cheapskates, how does that fly? Turi hears from customer service….sort of.

If you didn't understand it, was it really obscene?

The list of jobs you can do if you can't use your right hand is small. If you're Marci, it's miniscule. But we try… Recapping all the old jobs you never thought a person could have. "Sons of Anarchy" are ruining Marci's life.  

Any number of strange animals may walk down your street. That doesn't mean they should. Marci triumphs over the worm farm. Love of lizards, and a trip to the vet.

When you name inanimate objects. Dog logic. Another new brassiere, and a drawer full of old ones. Chappell Roan's Grammy outfit. Kim Kardashian's new underwear. Melinda French Gates, Bill Gates, and the Epstein files.   

Pajamas all day. Dirty books of years gone by, are surprisingly sexy, old TV….not so much. Coyotes—real and cartoon. Birthday party tchotchkes. We love Canada. Too much good news for Marci.

Snow can teach you a lot about your neighbors…but you probably already knew it. The hippies next door. Undercover as yourself.

A proven (almost) method for ridding Marci's house of the cattle invasion. Update on the honey-do list—Marci has a sink for people who like to bust a move.

Marci is hinting at a few things she'd like done around the place. Turi learns the truth about that thing on the kitchen counter. What's in that fancy cookie tin? Hint: not cookies. Date night for Marci, and nobody has to go to jail.