Turns Out It's You

In this episode we walk through the four patterns that show up when connection starts to feel unsafe: the one who strikes first to stay in control, the one who fixes and does and optimizes so she can't be left, the one who shrinks and apologizes to keep the peace, and the one who goes offline entirely because the feelings got too big. Fight, flight, fawn, freeze — each one brilliant, each one trying to protect you, each one stuck doing a job it took on before you had words for it.Then we talk about the fifth presence in the room: the regulated, grounded version of you who tends to get drowned out. Not because she's weak, but because she's quiet. The work was never about evicting the other parts. It's about helping the calm one earn enough trust to take the wheel.If you've ever caught yourself spiraling over something that turned out to be nothing, this one's for you.Want to know which pattern runs the show when you get activated? Take the quiz! Email me ([email protected]) and I'll send it over to you!

Episode DescriptionWe talk a lot about red flags. There are entire corners of the internet dedicated to spotting them, naming them, avoiding them. And yet so many self-aware, emotionally intelligent women keep finding themselves in the same painful relationship patterns. Not because they're naive. Not because they missed the signs. But because their nervous system doesn't experience those patterns as danger. It experiences them as familiar. And familiar, to a body that learned love through uncertainty or inconsistency, feels a lot like home.In this episode, Kyle unpacks why the problem isn't a choosing problem. It's a nervous system problem. And why the solution isn't more awareness, more analysis, or a better red flag checklist. It's learning, at a body level, what safe actually feels like.In This Episode We CoverWhy smart, self-aware women keep repeating painful relationship patterns even when they can see them happening in real timeThe difference between familiar and safe, and why your nervous system can't always tell them apartWhy anxiety in relationships gets mistaken for passion, and what that's actually costing youThe knowing-feeling gap: why understanding your patterns intellectually doesn't automatically change them in your bodyWhat it actually takes to start recognizing emotionally available people, and why it's less about thinking and more about felt senseWhy safe love can feel quiet, even boring at first, and why learning to trust that is the real workIf This Episode ResonatedShare it with someone who needs it. Leave a review if you feel moved to. It genuinely helps more people find their way here.And if you want to go deeper on any of this, connect with me!Connect With Kyle Instagram: @mskyledallatorreEmail: [email protected]

Have you ever known exactly what you needed to say to someone you loved and felt your body just close around it?That closing is not a communication problem. It is not a confidence problem. It is your nervous system doing exactly what it learned to do.In this episode, we trace the unexpected connection between the voice and the body, drawing on her background as a vocal coach turned somatic practitioner. Explore why so many self-aware women go quiet in relationships, how the body learns to protect itself through silence, and what it actually feels like when that protection starts to soften.This one is personal. And it might be exactly what you needed to hear today.WHO THIS EPISODE IS FORThis episode is for you if:You know what you want to say in relationships and something stops you from saying it.You find yourself monitoring your words before they come out, editing them down until they feel safe enough.You have felt yourself go small around someone you cared about and didn't fully understand why.You have done the therapy, the self-work, the journaling, and still feel like something is missing in how you show up in love.You are ready to understand not just the pattern but what life starts to feel like on the other side of it.RESOURCES + NEXT STEPSIf this episode resonated with you, here is how to go deeper:Connect with Kyle on Instagram: @mskyledallatorre Kyle's DMs are open. If something came up for you while listening, she would love to hear from you.Explore working with Kyle: [email protected] If you are ready to stop navigating this alone, this is where to start.

DESCRIPTIONHave you ever found yourself completely consumed by someone who couldn't fully show up for you? Checking your phone constantly, replaying every interaction, feeling relief when they came back and panic when they pulled away?In this first episode we explore why emotionally unavailable people can feel so magnetic, so consuming, and so incredibly hard to walk away from. And the answer might surprise you.This is not about bad judgment. This is about what your nervous system learned love was supposed to feel like.IN THIS EPISODE YOU WILL LEARNWhy anxiety and chemistry can feel almost identical in the body.Why emotionally unavailable people feel addictive and what is actually driving that pull.The difference between insight and embodiment and why knowing your patterns is not the same as healing them.What the nervous system actually needs to create lasting change in relationships.Why healing is not about fixing yourself but about finding safer experiences of connection.RESOURCES/CONTACT AND NEXT STEPSIf this episode resonated with you, DMs are open on Instagram @mskyledallatorreOREMAIL: [email protected] KYLE DALLATOREKyle DallaTorre is a somatic practitioner based and embodiment coach in Los Angeles working with women who are exhausted by relationship patterns that keep repeating no matter how much self work they have done. Her approach blends nervous system healing, somatic therapy, and relational work to help women finally feel safe in love and in themselves.Follow Turns Out It's You for new episodes.If you found this helpful, sharing it with someone who needs to hear it means the world.