Two Assholes and a Mic

Send us Fan MailIn S2E24, we start off talking about online Goodwill LEGO lots, giant pallets of mystery bricks, Robby’s day running around with Autumn, and Kirstie’s birthday plans. From there, we get into Dragon Ball, including Robby’s hatred for the Vegito-inside-Buu episode and Ian getting closer to the Tournament of Power. We also talk rare Atlantis LEGO figs, old Star Trek toys, childhood collectibles, pawned comics, Robin Hood, Waterworld, comfort-watching old movies, and why familiar shows like Rick and Morty and Gravity Falls are easy background noise. Then the episode takes a turn when Kirstie’s Range Rover throws a check engine light, leading to live troubleshooting, dealership diagnostic fee complaints, dream replacement cars, Audi wagons, CTS-V wagons, Dean impulse-buying a Corvette, and a camshaft position sensor code that may or may not point toward timing chain bullshit. Support the show

Send us Fan MailIn S2E23, we bring on Rodney, also known as Cuban Bee, and catch up on life after the military. We talk about his move to Florida, retiring in 2023, getting his A&P, teaching aviation maintenance, buying a dream home, and raising two young kids after spending the first decade of marriage travelling and enjoying life. From there, we get into old crash recovery memories, the car crash Ian and Rodney somehow walked away from, life in England, Florida and Texas heat, medical cannabis versus tobacco, working at a sports bar, weight loss, old video games, Call of Duty, GTA, Need for Speed Underground, kids, patches, going back to school, and the reality of being retired but still tired as hell. Support the show

Send us Fan MailIn S2E22, we bring on our old Misawa coworker and friend, Josh, to catch up after years of not talking. We get into Josh’s retirement life, small-town Arizona living, the opportunity to take over a machine shop, and how machining heads and building engines scratches that old maintenance itch without all the military bullshit from above. From there, we talk about missing the satisfaction of turning wrenches, old crew chief days, small-town life, retirement routines, car projects, Ian’s future GTR plans, Josh’s ’65 and ’66 Mustangs, Robby’s family truck, painted nails, Whatnot streams, LEGO selling, and the weird balance between hobbies, side hustles, and actual work. Support the show

Send us Fan MailIn S1E21, we fight through another round of technical difficulties, audio delays, reconnecting issues, and Ian’s car trying to hijack the Bluetooth mid-recording. Once we finally get rolling, we talk watermelon flavors, Robby’s LEGO zombie Captain America build, weird word mix-ups, missing LEGO parts, Joy’s legendary pronunciations, Brooke becoming the cat whisperer, and whether Robby needs a Maine Coon to handle the mouse situation in his garage. We also get into Roxy and Slinky getting brushed, picking up a new Spotify follower, upcoming guests, Slingshot towing and diagnostics, dealership fees, SpaceX and Starlink satellite launches, rocket test explosions, garage wasps, mud daubers, F-35s flying overhead, and why F-15s still sound louder than damn near everything. Support the show

Send us Fan MailIn S2E20, we start by talking through the joys of recording issues, missing audio, Bluetooth problems, and the mystery of why some spam calls kill the track and others don’t. From there, we get into missing LEGO pieces, memories of Joy, Brooke becoming the cat whisperer, whether cats are useful house tools, overly happy coffee shop workers, and why Green Bean coffee downrange still hits different. We also talk about Robby’s otter-like dog Slinky, mowing windows between rainstorms, missing proper thunderstorms, watching for tornadoes from the garage, a wild lightning strike story, giant wasps, mosquito bites, and the important debate of whether you “itch” or “scratch” your leg. Support the show

Send us Fan MailIn S2E19, we start with Ian passing his UK driving theory and hazard perception test, including why the hazard section feels odd when you’ve already been driving for years. We also talk about Kirstie getting back into work, Ian helping out at the Suffolk Show with science activities for kids, and then go off on a run of random movie quotes from Joe Dirt, Anchorman, and Talladega Nights. After that point, Robby’s audio track cuts out, but the conversation keeps rolling through spam calls, Brooke possibly becoming a feral cat whisperer, birthday plans, finding a local pub, the weird math behind only needing 33 one-on-one wins to be the last person on Earth, and how Instagram and Facebook somehow feed us completely different kinds of nonsense. Support the show

Send us Fan MailIn S2E18, we talk through Robby redoing the Mustang shocks, helping with an oil change, and the never-ending debate between keeping things old-school or upgrading to coilovers. Ian recaps a packed beach day, a failed attempt at metal detecting, and a new tattoo idea involving Ultra Instinct Goku, Ultra Ego Vegeta, anime panels, and space-themed designs. We also get into LEGO side-hustle talk, old friends we should bring onto the podcast, classic car meets, and why the Slingshot might be too damn fun to sell. Support the show

Send us Fan MailIn S2E17, we get into Ian forgetting to charge his smoke setup, Robby dodging another day of work, and the questionable origins of drinking beer from a boot. From there, we debate breaded versus naked wings, talk beard maintenance in the heat, check in on Ian’s mailed package, and spend a healthy amount of time discussing Roxy, Slinky, dog farts, guard-dog behaviour, and why watching dogs crunch through duck heads is apparently entertaining to both of us. Support the show

Send us Fan MailIn S2E16, we get into Robby selling off some of his LEGO collection, Ian’s house purchase and plans to hammer down the mortgage, and whether a five-pound steak challenge is actually doable. Along the way, Kai drops into the conversation, we talk family life, hard water, housework, legal weed, Ian’s productive day at work, Robby’s never-ending Mustang repairs, and one fly that refuses to leave him the hell alone. Support the show

Send us Fan MailIn S2E15, we kick things off with Robby’s garage run-in with a rattlesnake and Slinky’s questionable attempt to claim the kill. From there, we get into gas prices and the proposed federal gas tax suspension, remember the freedom of riding bikes everywhere as kids, talk LEGO side hustles, APO shipping restrictions, and finish with an update on Ian’s house purchase—and Robby’s very subtle message for the current owners. Support the show

Send us Fan MailIn this episode, we bounce from garage smoke, bong mishaps, and random weekend plans into a surprisingly real conversation about retirement, Social Security, taxes, and whether people should catch a break after working their whole lives. We also get into insurance headaches, hail damage, car plans, mystery construction next door, missed Wing Wednesday, future road trips, and the usual mix of family updates and random bullshit that somehow becomes a full conversation. Support the show

Send us Fan MailIn S2E13, we bring on Niko, aka Bean, and get into life after the military, work travel, living out in Georgia, raising ducks, and trying to balance a normal life with expensive car habits. We bounce through gas prices, EV frustration, Supras, GTR dreams, daily drivers, home projects, and the usual random turns into property, animals, retirement plans, and figuring out how much we really want to keep working. It’s another laid-back guest episode that feels like old friends catching up and talking shit about life, cars, and everything in between. Support the show

Send us Fan MailIn S2E12, we bring on our friend and former coworker John Sweeney for a catch-up on life after the military. We get into retirement not going quite as planned, ending up back in management, running a gym, family plans, VA education benefits, moving after the kids are grown, and the usual random turns into chickens, goats, property taxes, drinking, and “time travel” stories. It’s a laid-back guest episode that feels more like old friends catching up than anything formal — which is exactly why it works. Support the show

Send us Fan MailIn S2E11, we start off catching up while Robby is making the long drive from Texas to Oregon, talking trucks, tuners, dry lake beds, road fatigue, and the kind of random back-and-forth that comes naturally with us. Around the 10-minute mark, the audio has other plans, so the episode turns into a rougher, more one-sided ride than we intended. It’s a little glitchy, a little cut off, but still part of the fun of recording in real time while life is happening. Support the show

Send us Fan MailIn S2E10, we bounce from storm weather and tornado watches into dog drama, parking lot stupidity, eyebrow waxing, government surveillance, and the usual completely normal turns our conversations take. We get into Slinky escaping the gate, whether backing into a parking spot needs a blinker, random news and AI rabbit holes, dog breeds, and the kind of off-the-rails back-and-forth that somehow keeps the whole thing moving. It’s chaotic, funny, and very much us. Support the show

Send us Fan MailIn S2E9, we bounce between storm season, tornado watches, flooded buildings, muddy dogs, and the kind of everyday chaos that somehow turns into a full conversation. We also get into work downtime, mower repairs, overgrown grass, Lego side hustles, whatnot selling, and the weird little routines that make up real life. It’s a laid-back episode full of random detours, backyard nonsense, and the usual back-and-forth that keeps us rolling. Support the show

Send us Fan MailIn S2E8, we fight through a little technical chaos after part of the audio decides not to cooperate, but we still manage to cover a weirdly solid mix of topics. We get into spam calls, bank rates, random financial thoughts, weather, old memories, Lego builds, editing, backyard wildlife, scrap metal, and the usual side tangents that take on a life of their own. Even with the glitch, it still feels like us — half catching up, half wandering off into whatever comes up next. Support the show

Send us Fan MailIn S2E7, we catch up on everything that’s changed over the last couple of years — retirement, moving, new jobs, side hustles, and the weird turns life has taken since the first run of the podcast. From there, we drift into house drama, Bush League updates, the legendary backyard phallus, suspicious headlines, insider trading talk, and a few conspiracy-leaning rabbit holes that take the conversation in exactly the direction you’d expect from us. It’s part life update, part chaos, and part “how the hell did we get here?” in the best way. Support the show

Send us Fan MailIn S2E6, we get into gas prices, oil drilling, and the kind of everyday stuff that makes you wonder why everything has to cost so damn much. We also talk through a possible update on the house situation, react to the UK’s tobacco crackdown, and somehow end up bouncing into Lego, burgers, English food, and the usual random side roads along the way. It’s another episode full of real-life frustration, off-the-cuff opinions, and the kind of back-and-forth that never stays on one subject for long. Support the show

Send us Fan MailIn S2E5, we bounce between everyday chaos and current events as we talk about journaling, runaway dogs, work frustrations, suspicious headlines, retirement age debates, and the random stuff that always seems to find its way into the conversation. We also get into burgers, wings, mustache maintenance, and the kind of side tangents that somehow make perfect sense for us. It’s another laid-back episode full of unfiltered conversation, real-life venting, and the usual back-and-forth that keeps everything loose and entertaining. Support the show

Send us Fan Mail In S2E4, we dive into a brutally frustrating house-buying setback after a seller pulls out late in the process hoping for more money. From there, the conversation shifts into everything from long commutes and daily routines to current headlines, conspiracy-adjacent questions, cancer research, ancient dental work, and the growing importance of Robby’s now-legendary notepad. It’s part vent session, part random news breakdown, and part the usual banter. Support the show

Send us Fan MailS2E3 is another laid-back, off-the-rails conversation as we bounce through babysitting chaos, dogs being dogs, podcast plans, metal detecting finds, work frustrations, random weather talk, Lego obsession, and an unexpected debate about Fight Club. It’s the usual mix of sarcasm, stories, and completely unplanned tangents that somehow all work together. Support the show

Send us Fan MailSeason 2 is here. After nearly two years away, Two Assholes in a Mic is back and finding its groove again. We return with the same off-the-rails chemistry, but with a slightly new direction — more current events, more live content, possible guest appearances, and the same random tangents that made the show what it is. Same same, but different. Support the show

Send us Fan MailS2E2: Purgatory starts with the idea that life can feel like some kind of punishment zone, then spirals into the kind of conversation that makes the title make even more sense — work frustrations, aging, dogs, random everyday annoyances, Lego cities, weird memories, and thoughts about time travel and déjà vu. It’s unfiltered, funny, and relatable in the way real conversations usually are: one topic turns into ten others, but the thread running through it all is that strange feeling of being stuck somewhere between chaos and comedy. Support the show