Two Bi Guys

It's our 99th episode! (Maybe? Sort of? I haven't done the math...) And it's a great one. My guest Amanda Dames is a certified sex and relationship coach, former New York City dominatrix, and founder of The Kink Consultant. In this fascinating conversation, we explore the surprising overlaps between kink and bisexuality, plus we dive into shame, communication, and authentic self-expression.Amanda shares her journey from discovering her own kinky desires at a young age to becoming a coach who helps individuals and couples navigate kink and fetish without shame. We discuss how and why couples struggle when one partner has desires the other doesn't share, how fantasies can actually strengthen intimacy, and why trust, consent, and honest communication matter far more than any specific sexual interest.Whether you're kinky or not, this episode is about something bigger: learning to embrace the parts of ourselves we've been taught to hide. Sound familiar??*This episode contains 5 minutes of bonus content on Patreon only beginning at around the 54-minute mark. Subscribe for bonus content, early access, and to help support this podcast: www.RobertBrooksCohen.comIn this episode: Amanda's path from professional dominatrix to kink coach The surprising parallels between kink and mixed-orientation relationships The difference between a kink and a fetish Why shame keeps so many people disconnected from themselves How couples can navigate differing desires without resentment Why fantasies aren't a threat to intimacy Masculinity, submission, and challenging cultural assumptions Consent, communication, and building trust in relationshipsConnect with Rob: www.RobertBrooksCohen.comConnect with Amanda:· Website: https://www.amandadames.com/· Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/the_kinkconsultant/· Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/thekinkconsultant/· TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@the_kinkconsultant· YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@thekinkconsultant· Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-kink-consultant/id1766435920· Guide for couples with mismatched desire to have more open and honest conversations in a safe framework: https://www.amandadames.com/Speak-Your-Desires-with-Confidence-opt-in-1· BDSM Menu for couples who are curious to explore each other's kinks: https://www.amandadames.com/bdsmlist· Amanda's Swingcation discount code: TKC50

Welcome to the final installment of my three-part series on BFF, the biggest, best, biannual, bisexual play party in Palm Springs.Before we dive in, I share an important disclaimer: BFF isn't for everyone. While I've found it to be one of the most accepting, freeing, and healing communities I've ever experienced, it's also an intense, highly sexual environment. I talk about who it might be a great fit for, who it might not, and why I think it's important to know that going in.Then you'll hear two final interviews recorded at the event, followed by an extended conversation with Brad and Tracy, the couple who have organized BFF for nearly a decade. We talk about how the event began, how it's evolved over the past 20 years, and why the sense of community has always mattered even more than the sex.• Steve — Back for his second appearance on the podcast, Steve reflects on another BFF weekend, why saying "no" can strengthen connection, and how kink and impact play have become an important part of his journey.• Drew — Drew shares his path through bisexuality, polyamory, and building relationships rooted in communication, honesty, and community. We also talk about coming out, finding your people, and why authentic connection matters more than simply having sex.• Brad & Tracy — The longtime organizers of BFF share how they stumbled into the event 20 years ago, eventually took it over, and have worked to preserve its uniquely welcoming spirit. We also explore bisexual visibility, the evolution of the swinging community, and why spaces where people can fully be themselves are more important than ever.(There's no video for this series, but the audio is definitely explicit.)If you'd like to attend BFF, you can reach out directly to Brad at his profile "CUTEONES" on Kasidie, SDC or Lifetylelounge, or at "CUTEONES1" on SLS or Fetlife.Learn more about HOE Weekend: https://hoeweekend.com/75-minute initial deep-dive coaching session with Rob: https://calendly.com/robertbrookscohen/first-coaching-session-75-minsLearn more at www.robertbrookscohen.comSupport this podcast: patreon.com/robertbrookscohen

Welcome back to part two of our three-part series on BFF, the biggest, best, biannual, bisexual play party in Palm Springs. A lot of play happens at this event, allowing attendees to embrace their desires, release shame, and connect authentically, but even more important is the atmosphere of acceptance, love, and learning from each other. There’s a lot of great and healing work being done at BFF!In this episode, you’ll hear seven more interviews from the event that range from sexy to sacred – and everything in between.· Jen — A bi activist who has been in the lifestyle since 2000 who explains why BFF is a big part of finally moving to California.· Mark — Back solo this year after last year's fan-favorite interview with his husband Josh, Mark talks about deepening his bi exploration and self-discovery.· An anonymous BFF newbie – attending only his second-ever play party, he shares what it's like to be new to both non-monogamy and bisexuality.· Dr. Laurie Bennett-Cook — Clinical sexologist and veteran BFFer, Laurie talks about the exploding demand for Bi+ events and how she and her husband navigated non-monogamy 25 years ago with no roadmap.· Lynn — A first-timer inspired to attend by her neighbor Don (from last year's episode), Lynn delivers some of the most moving reflections of the series on authenticity, shame, and the sacred energy of this community.· Piglet — A seven-time BFFer who hilariously narrates a live scene playing out nearby and reflects on how this community is generating happiness and positivity for the world.· Spencer — Another seven-time attendee, he shares his Arkansas coming-of-age story and his philosophy of being a quiet but open facilitator of others' journeys.There's no video for this series, but the audio is definitely explicit. Stay tuned for Part 3 — two more interviews plus an extended conversation with BFF organizers Brad and Tracy.If you'd like to attend BFF, you can reach out directly to Brad at his profile "CUTEONES" on Kasidie, SDC or Lifetylelounge, or at "CUTEONES1" on SLS or Fetlife.75-minute initial deep-dive coaching session with Rob: https://calendly.com/robertbrookscohen/first-coaching-session-75-minsLearn more at www.robertbrookscohen.comSupport this podcast: patreon.com/robertbrookscohen

Two Bi Guys is back! This is the first of three episodes I recorded at BFF — the Bi F*** Fest — a biannual, four-day play party in Palm Springs, centering bisexuality and especially bi men. I recorded these interviews in the pool on the last day, mic in hand, wandering around while people were doing... various things around me. It's that kind of episode.In a strange (or maybe perfect?) turn of events, I was at this BFF while on a plant medicine diet that called for no sex, no masturbation, no intentional raising of sexual energy. So I was very much a celibate voyeur at a bisexual orgy — and it gave me a different lens on the whole thing. The community, the storytelling, the emotional depth of what people shared — I absorbed all of it more than ever.This episode contains six interviews:· Shay and Scarlet — a married bi couple who came out to each other on the same night in 2017 at their local pub· Hannah— my friend who is literally the reason I ended up at this BFF despite the diet. A queer, sapphic woman who loves being in a space where masculinity is queer· Vinny and his partner — raised Catholic, overcoming shame, figuring out his attractions lean more toward women at about 80/20, and his female partner navigating what it means to really let him be himself· L and B — a younger couple, together 15 years, who opened up and discovered they were both bi. (And one of them can do pole tricks ;)· Jose— a psychiatrist who has been to BFF ten times and gave one of the most beautiful answers about what community means· Sean and Derek — Sean is 56, newly out as bi, and his friend Derek who has helped normalize the experience. Sean's story of how his wife paved the way and made his own coming easier — and why that made him feel guilty — is one of the most moving parts of this whole seriesYes, there's a lot of sex at BFF. But what keeps people coming back — what made some of them cry talking to me — is feeling truly seen. The sex is the icing. The community is the cake.If you're curious about attending BFF, it's not something you can just Google. You can reach out directly to Brad, the organizer, at his profile "CUTEONES" on Kasidie, SDC or Lifetylelounge, or at "CUTEONES1" on SLS or Fetlife.There's no video for this series, but the audio is definitely explicit. Part 2 and Part 3 are coming soon!Links:· Rob's Website (and more info on coaching): robertbrookscohen.com· Book a complimentary coaching session with Rob: https://calendly.com/robertbrookscohen/complimentary-coaching-session· Support this podcast: patreon.com/robertbrookscohen