PODCAST · comedy
Two Gents From Nowhere
by Dominic & Phil
Two rootless gents—a transient Brit in Buenos Aires and a nomadic American in Los Angeles—laugh their way through stories about everything and nothing, obsessing over the minutiae of daily existence while striving to answer life’s big questions, like “Weren’t we younger once?”Conversations range in topic from the tawdry hell of approaching middle-age to the scandalous lack of air conditioning units in the Tower of London visitor experience—plus a smidgen of everything and a super-size dollop of nothing in between.
Episodes
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Episode 31: Do Catholics Keep Long John Silver's in Business?
The Two Gents tackle yet more life-and-death brain teasers, such as: Who took the 'world's biggest poo' on a plane that left cabin 'puking'?; What are langostino lobsters when they're not shrimp?; Does Prince Harry listen to this podcast (in a Waffle House)?; What is the etymology of 'chicken'?;...
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Episode 30: Was the Coronation Quiche Tone-Deaf?
Following the lavish Coronation of a glum-looking King Chuck III, the Two Gents tackle a timely bunch of thought experiments, including: If a hot dog is eaten in a forest and no one is around to hear it squelch, does it make a sound?; Does "KC3" need to wear batting gloves when playing cricket?…
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Episode 29: The Wet Sock Dilemma
The Two Gents return for Season 2 to tackle big questions such as: Which are worse: wet jeans or wet socks?;How do you pronounce “Herbs”?; Could Jesus walk on chemical agents?; What do you do if your car doors have no handles?; Can whistles stop crime?; How many times per day does a sane person...
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Episode 28: Acid Reflux with a Side of Disney World
Fresh from a dystopian family vacation to Disney World (or was it Dismaland?), a Bibbidi-Bobbidi-Broke Phil goes on an extended rant about his hellish experience in the Happiest Place on Earth™ (But he really did have a good time) as Dominic ponders whether or not to shoot himself. PLUS:...
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Episode 27: How to Earn €1.5 Million and Save the Climate!
After two satisfied listeners donate a small fortune to the podcast, the newly-minted Two Gents discuss kidnapping threats, Aston Martins, Angela Lansbury, the market value of holes in the ground, Vegas, porcupines, roundabouts, Huckleberry pies, Kim Basinger, and wax dummies of King Charles III....
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Episode 26: A Complete Dog’s Dinner
In their most depressing episode yet—unfavorably compared to a poorly cooked Duck à l'Orange TV dinner—the Two Gents reminisce about the golden age of political sex scandals, when men wore Chelsea football kits with lace stockings, and women sold their sleazy, toe-sucking stories to the tabloids....
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Episode 25: Christie Brinkley Likes This Podcast!
Breathless after a digital encounter with the real world Christie Brinkley, the Two Gents turn their attention to everything from the art of terrible gifting to the important role of kebab pizzas in Swedish prison breaks. As Phil reveals his cunning plan to sell one of Dominic’s kidneys, Dominic...
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Episode 24: Should All Statues be Sans Vêtements?
With Phil on the road, and Spotify confirming that there is nothing else like this podcast show, Dominic is forced to play host, with questionable results. In this week’s unmissable episode: Is Argentina the future? Should politicians stand around in Aviators looking at scenes of destruction? Can...
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Episode 23: An Ode to Black Rod
In this week’s jam-packed and highly educational episode: Should humans be compost? Why is everyone in LA hot and dumb? Is Bob Sacamano real? How do you pronounce PETA? When will women save the planet by banning men from having sex with them? How come Black Rod is a cross between Walter Matthau…
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Episode 22: Did Cary Grant Shave His Armpits?
It’s the Two Gents from Nowhere, the only podcast that dares to tackle the big questions, like: Why did Dominic once nut-check former UK Prime Minister John Major with a briefcase? Are all famous people given tanning beds upon retirement? Should podcast hosts wear disheveled blond wigs? Who had…
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Special Emergency Episode: The Queen is Dead, Long Live the Podcast!
Due to popular demand (no, really), a mere two hours after the historic announcement of her death, the Two Gents discuss the legacy of Queen Elizabeth II. This special emergency episode contains content some listeners may find offensive, such as Phil’s disturbing Donald “Sad!!!” Trump impression,...
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Episode 21: Can Penguins be Food?
Also: Should you leave a salami by your front door to catch burglars? Who wears Prada loafers to building sites? Is it a crime to snack as you shop? What are “White Rabbits” and why did you just punch me in the kidneys? How do you pronounce “E.E.U.U.” in a Spanish accent? Where’s the best place…
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Episode 20: How do you pronounce Ralph Fiennes?
The Two Gents discuss python bounty hunters, giant rodent infestations, and the parking situation in California. Plus: When is a looting not a looting but a movie shoot? Which Olivia Newton John should you fancy in GREASE? Are fanny packs unconstitutional? And what’s an acceptable number of…
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Episode 19: The Wu Wei of Chaos Theory
Is this the worst possible time to be alive? It is now! The Two Gents survey multiple signs of the coming apocalypse, including a government campaign to abolish neck ties, a potential shortage of Hershey treats for Halloween, Phil’s secret desire to dress up as Liberace, and the high price of...
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Episode 18: Requiem for the Choco Taco
The Two Gents lament the loss of yet another great American institution, review the new Doner Kebab Pot Noodle, and quarrel over the correct pronunciation of “Salisbury”. As Phil abuses the phrase “right up your alley”, Dominic wonders how Her Maj the Queen would score in the bikini round of a...
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Episode 17: Is the Special Relationship ancient history?
In this special extended episode, Phil returns home from his British vacation to report on the strange antiquated land of Mr. Whippy 99 Flakes and Platinum Jubilee Urinal Cakes. Subjects discussed by the Two Gents include: Is Her Majesty the Queen a cheapskate?; What exactly are Dippin’ Dots?;...
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Episode 16: Are Brits awful people?
As Phil prepares to visit the United Kingdom on his summer holidays, Dominic offers an expert guide to British culture, explaining in unnecessary detail the chivalrous significance of blue silk thongs, the cardinal art of peasant thrashing, and the proper meaning of the everyday cockney phrase...
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Episode 15: A Solid Eight
Is Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II a digital hologram? Do all footmen have foot fetishes? And on which tropical island does Tupac now live with Princess Diana, Elvis, Michael Jackson, and Marilyn Monroe? The Two Gents bring their unrivaled brand of hard-hitting investigative journalism to yet...
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Platinum Jubilee Special!
To mark 70 years of Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II’s divine reign over her drunk British peasants, Phil and Dom review the celebratory events across the globe, which saw countless doves ritually smothered, millions of quails blown to smithereens, and His Royal Highness The Prince Charles Philip...
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Episode 14: Afternoon Delight
How do you pronounce Loughborough? Is it de rigueur to sport a top hat to a cookout? And does mind-blowing daytime nooky with your missus trigger sudden onset amnesia within ten minutes of coition? As Dominic attempts to get Phil beaten senseless in the Dodger Stadium parking lot, Phil shoots…
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Episode 13: Squashy Little Guys
Was Independence Day based on a true story? Will snooty/snotty waiters pretend not to understand extra-terrestrials if they visit Paris as tourists? And is it wise for NASA to be sending nudes (of people) into space to attract aliens? All this and more in Episode 13, which includes a singular...
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Episode 12: An Overrated Experience
Is Coming to America the greatest movie of all time? Dominic is joined on the phone from New York City by Phil, who makes an impassioned case from his Manhattan hotel suite for Randy Watson, Reverend Brown, King Jaffe Joffer & co. Also: How do you fry 580 kilos of buttock meat on sacred ground?...
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Episode 11: Getting Racked at the Queen’s Birthday Party
Dominic and Phil bid to umble-cum-stumble a world in which depressed fictosexuals marry inanimate AI cartoon holograms, Fabio gets hit in the face by a goose on a Greek god-themed rollercoaster, and wan-faced codgers in ED commercials grapple with monstro fishing rods. Meanwhile, Dominic reports...
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Episode 10: Imbibing With Robert Goulet
The Two Gents tackle more of life’s pressing questions, such as: Did Phil once stiffen the wombat backstage with Robert Goulet?; Has Her Maj the Queen’s stunt double ever visited a McDonald’s Drive Thru in the Gold State Coach?; Why would anyone sane ever fold burritos in a Chipotle in the...
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Episode 9: Boiled Dove
Would Her Majesty the Queen order the Toddle House at the Waffle House? What, exactly, is National Footwear Workers Day? And should you seek help, or buy a $300,000 virtual tiara? Dominic and Phil return to ponder everything, nothing and some of the stuff in between. Plus, due to popular demand,...
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Episode 8: In Vino Veritas
Can Dominic peddle his poetry on OnlyFans? Will Phil rub rumps with a wobbly wombat? The Two Gents return to sort Thomas Jefferson’s chicken breasts from the Duke of Wellington’s aristocratic thighs—with a jumbo dollop of applesauce on the side.
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Episode 7: Divided by a Common Language
The Two Gents from Nowhere struggle to understand each other (again) as they wrestle like the British Bulldog Davey Boy Smith with life’s biggest questions, including: “How mild is mild seasoning?”; “What’s the difference between a callus and a corn?”; “How do you pronounce ‘Mall’ or ‘Qatar’?”;...
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Episode 6: The Angriest Place on Earth
As Phil goes full Clark W. Griswold about his “mind-boggling” weekend at Disneyland, Dominic turns his sick mind to sexy photos of Her Majesty the Queen. Plus: What the hell is the steam that comes out of the ground in New York City? Is turducken the human centipede of Thanksgiving food? And what...
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Episode 5: What a Riot!
A hungover Dominic & a revenge-hungry Phil thrash out assorted topics, including: Is it proper to scalp clerics over the quality of wine served in a local tavern?; Should one eat Swedish meatballs on a date?; and Is Vladimir Putin welcome in the Metaverse? Plus, what does “Give him a good...
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Episode 4: Sucking the Mop
The Two Gents struggle to make sense of a world in which barbers flog you rubber johnnies, greengrocers blue rinse your barnet, and scotch eggs are replaced by nuclear bombs. Plus, how do you correctly spoon cabbage soup in the presence of Her Majesty the Queen? From Phil in Los Angeles and…
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Episode 3: Frozen Members
The TWO GENTS FROM NOWHERE return to discuss a handful of pressing questions, like: Can you sue yourself? How does an avatar sexually harass another avatar? and What is John Wayne Bobbitt up to these days? Plus, the Queen gets given Covid by the heir to her throne, the Wiki wonder of French…
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Episode 2: The Sizzling Smell of Success
The guys discuss the eBay value of breast milk, illiterate t-shirts in Argentina, and what to do when you visit a Mexican restaurant and reek of fajitas for the next 3-5 days. Questions raised this week include: If one sells deodorant in the Metaverse, do the avatars still smell?; Can you guess...
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Episode 1: Maiden Voyage
The TWO GENTS FROM NOWHERE discuss murderous ice cream wars, doomed expeditions to Antarctica, and the torturous lack of air conditioning at the Tower of London. With Dominic in Buenos Aires and Phil in Los Angeles.
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ABOUT THIS SHOW
Two rootless gents—a transient Brit in Buenos Aires and a nomadic American in Los Angeles—laugh their way through stories about everything and nothing, obsessing over the minutiae of daily existence while striving to answer life’s big questions, like “Weren’t we younger once?”Conversations range in topic from the tawdry hell of approaching middle-age to the scandalous lack of air conditioning units in the Tower of London visitor experience—plus a smidgen of everything and a super-size dollop of nothing in between.
HOSTED BY
Dominic & Phil
CATEGORIES
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Frequently Asked Questions
How many episodes does Two Gents From Nowhere have?
Two Gents From Nowhere currently has 33 episodes available on PodParley. New episodes are automatically indexed when they're published to the podcast feed.
What is Two Gents From Nowhere about?
Two rootless gents—a transient Brit in Buenos Aires and a nomadic American in Los Angeles—laugh their way through stories about everything and nothing, obsessing over the minutiae of daily existence while striving to answer life’s big questions, like “Weren’t we younger once?”Conversations range in...
How often does Two Gents From Nowhere release new episodes?
Two Gents From Nowhere has 33 episodes. Check the episode list to see recent publication dates and frequency.
Where can I listen to Two Gents From Nowhere?
You can listen to Two Gents From Nowhere on PodParley by clicking any episode. We provide an embedded audio player for direct listening, and you can also subscribe via your preferred podcast app using the RSS feed.
Who hosts Two Gents From Nowhere?
Two Gents From Nowhere is created and hosted by Dominic & Phil.
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