Two Old Sexperts: Talking Sexuality & Disabilities

Relationships shape our well‑being, but recognizing when a relationship becomes unhealthy isn’t always straightforward — especially for people with intellectual disabilities, who often receive limited or inconsistent education on boundaries, consent, and safety.In this episode, we break down the early signs of unhealthy or unsafe relationships in a way that is accessible, practical, and empowering. We explore:🚩 Common red flags like control, isolation, manipulation, and disrespect💬 How to teach these concepts using clear language, repetition, and real‑life examples🧩 Why people with intellectual disabilities may be at higher risk for relationship harm🤝 Strategies for supporters — families, staff, educators — to provide education without fear‑based messaging🌱 Tools that build confidence, autonomy, and the ability to seek helpThis conversation centers on dignity, respect, and the belief that everyone deserves the skills to build healthy, safe, and fulfilling relationships. It’s an essential listen for caregivers, professionals, and anyone committed to supporting people with intellectual disabilities in navigating relationships with confidence and clarity.

Loneliness can feel different when you live with a disability—and it’s something we don’t often talk about openly. This episode dives into what that loneliness can look like, from social isolation and inaccessible spaces to the quiet ache of feeling misunderstood or left out. We explore how disability, identity, and community overlap, and why loneliness isn’t a personal shortcoming but often a systemic issue. Through real stories, reflection, and practical insights, the conversation makes room for grief, anger, hope, and connection. Whether you’re disabled, care about someone who is, or want to better understand, this episode encourages listening with empathy and curiosity. You’re not alone—and you shouldn’t have to face loneliness on your own.

Hello, Podcast listeners!  This is a quick update on what's happening with the two old sexperts!  We'll be back soon, answering questions and providing tips and information.  If you have any questions about the services provided by Shawn McGill Consulting or to follow our events, please visit www.shawnmcgillmsw.com for more details.  Stay tuned, Sharon and I will be back and chatting with you soon!Stay well and stay strong!Shawn 

We are sharing questions and answers (or dialogues regarding the questions) to guide and support.  Our shared goal as "Two Old Sexperts" is to provide you, the listener, with education and resources while remaining devoted to supporting those with intellectual, developmental, and neurological differences, mainly related to sexuality, whether it involves healthy sexuality or more complicated issues such as offending behavior.Today, we delve into gender expression, masturbation, and considerations for supporting individuals with problematic or offending behaviors.  We want to hear from you!  Please send your questions (you can remain anonymous) to us via email at [email protected].  

Our nation is facing unprecedented challenges. Democracy and human rights are under attack. This affects all of us, and we need to start caring and thinking more deeply. If we are champions, allies, friends, or supporters of anyone considered a minority (yes, women; that includes you), then the time was long ago, but the urgency is now. Our futures and our lives depend on it. People want us to be fearful. They want us to conform and fit into molds, but therein lies the issue.   Sharon and I will continue our quest until there’s nothing left to try, and we will be those champions. If for no other reason than for each other because love prevails over hate. We hope you will join us or continue to ride along with us.   

A brief PSA on service changes in Pennsylvania and a hope for an inspirational boost! ~Shawn

It has been nearly six months since we joined to record a podcast.  This episode is about the union and journey of two friends.  Our serendipitous dinner in Scranton led to the creation of the podcast a few years ago, but, more importantly, our relationship moved from professional acquaintances to friends.  Our relationship propels and inspires us to try to teach others.  Sexuality is broad.  Humanity is complex.  The power to motivate is endless.  Be kind.

In this episode, we (Shawn and Sharon) talk about autism and offense-related issues.  Through the chat, we explore and openly discuss a lot of gaps and missing components that could lead us to better solutions to prevent brushing up on the criminal justice system, at least as it relates to sexual offenses.

Sharon and I had the absolute pleasure of spending time with Dr. Michele Angello. Dr. Angello is an educator, therapist, consultant, and author who has paved the way to spotlight gender non-conformity and challenge our constructs related to gender. An issue so misunderstood and seemingly seen as so complex by many, Dr. Angello has tackled it head-on. Best said by Dr. Angello herself, "My dream is for all gender non-conforming kids, youth and adults to be understood not as unusual or pathological, but, viewed through a lens of reverence and respect, as valued members of the human race." And, of course, we all agreed that we want this same dream applied to those who have a range of disabilities and neurodiversity.

This brief episode notes what has been discovered while creating this podcast and why a slight shift in talks focusing on sexuality will be underway. When supporting fellow human beings, we must see the whole picture. When faced with challenges, we must be willing to evaluate ourselves and amplify any discrepancies or barriers that may be impeding progress.

The term "sex toys" seems to hold a negative connotation still. When we think about pleasuring the body or meeting physical and sexual needs, we must "think outside the box" and push our comfort zones. People with disabilities are not exempt from the very exact basic human needs.Mason Luke joins us to discuss how his two worlds, disability support and pleasure products, collide. More importantly, he guides us in challenging our taboos and openly thinking about and exploring how we can do more to support people with disabilities in finding their sexual pleasure.To find out more about Mason and his products, please visit www.pleasureallies.com.

Dementia is a neurological issue any person can be subject to. This includes those we love and support who are neurodiverse. As people are living longer and the prevalence of dementia continues to rise, those of us in the service system need support and information. In this episode, we talk with you about aspects related to dementia. It covers a wide range, such as changes in personality, progression with limited skills and abilities, and various behavior changes that can include sexual components.

For decades, we have been discussing and using the terms "Positive Approaches" or "Positive Practices," but do we know what they mean and how to employ the strategies when supporting a person? In this episode, we try to take you on a journey through information and stories to help people and organizations gain a better sense of understanding but also to challenge and encourage folks to use the practice with those they support and with each other as a whole system. Moral is low, the "staffing crisis" continues to get worse and worse, and people with disabilities are being warehoused in jails and prisons at an alarming rate. We must start the dialogue to uncover where we go from here to make real change.

In this episode, Sharon and Shawn talk through the critical importance of understanding and merging the use of positive approaches when working with people on sexuality and even trauma. Positive approaches does not mean giving a person whatever they want. It means understanding and supporting people on core clinical issues while recognizing that the relationship between the person and their supporters is the vehicle for change. We have to begin to work proactively, instead of responding reactively, if we genuinely want to make the change.

In this episode, we are joined by Bev Frantz. Bev guides us through a discussion about supporting those with non-traditional communication and how we can challenge ourselves and our systems to support better and advocate. This, however, may challenge us and the systems we work in. Everyone deserves a voice, but finding their voice may look different. Everyone also deserves an opportunity to learn about healthy sexuality, but the education approach may look slightly different. Nevertheless, both can be done.

In this episode, we delve more into trauma for those with disabilities. We share stories and try to help the listener be more mindful of what to look for and how to respond when separating trauma responses from "behaviors." The most critical piece is supporting a person to move through trauma. We know none of us can forget our past, but we want to be able not to let our history continue to gain so much control in our lives.

In this episode, we hit our own vulnerability by talking about loneliness. In a world where anyone is prone to this basic human feeling, despite our constant connection to people and the world, understanding how loneliness may impact those with disabilities is even more vital. In turn, we try to talk you through what loneliness may or may not look like and, more importantly, what we can consider doing, or at least try, to combat loneliness. My dear friend and fellow podcaster Sharon reminds us, "Be kind. Everyone is fighting a mighty battle." And just because I love her, I kept a little blooper in this episode to showcase our love and comradery. It's this that fills my heart with joy and spares me a little less loneliness during times when even I struggle ~Shawn

In today's episode, Sharon and Shawn talk with you about neurodiversity, gender identity, and sexual identity. We share what it all means, how you can better support people with disabilities to understand and explore these areas in their own lives, and also what you can do to change how people are understood and fully supported as they walk their journeys in life.

This episode walks you through basic sex education. We explore recommended education for grades K-12. In supporting those with disabilities, little to no information is often shared, and we must work backward. Regardless of age, we have due diligence to learn and pass on basic sex education so those we love, and support can live happier and more successful lives.

This podcast episode looks at romantic feelings those with disabilities may express, including feelings toward their paid supporters. We talk in-depth about navigating these feelings and situations and how to respond best if we find ourselves in a similar situation.

During this episode, we discuss two sexual consent screening tools used to support people with disabilities; The Verbal Informed Sexual Consent Tool (VISCAT) and the YAI sexual consent screening tool created in association with David Hingsburger.

Nancy Thaler, former deputy secretary for the Office of Developmental Programs (ODP), joins us to discuss sexuality policy. Guidelines have been established, but no policy is mandated in Pennsylvania. She talks us through ways to consider outreach, education, and training to continue the momentum of change as we navigate these complex waters.

Join Shawn McGill and Sharon Potter as they illustrate "The Cookie Sutra." This little visual book uses cookies to discuss and show various sexual positions. This helps talk through an understanding of different sex acts. This way, people know more about what they may choose to engage in and what they choose to abstain from. Following the book, we talk more about the importance of talking through and making sure people understand not just about sex acts but also about human sexuality in general.

In this episode, we talk about some of the safety concerns and risks related to the Internet, and ways to provide support and education to more successfully and safely wade through these waters.

Special guest Attorney Kate Lovelace joins us to discuss aspects related to the criminal justice system. We talk about nuances to consider if someone is faced with a legal charge, and how to best support them to navigate this complicated, and often overwhelming, system.

Sharon and Shawn are joined by Maddie Sell from the ARC of Centre County. We discuss some aspects of sexual consent, opportunities for dating, and ways as we (the supporters) need to check our own assumptions when broaching the subject of sexuality.

In this episode we explore sexual consent as it relates to people with disabilities. Areas covered include sex acts, pregnancy and STIs, legal vs. illegal sexual behaviors, private and public behaviors related to sexuality, and abuse prevention and safety.

Disability consultants, Shawn McGill & Sharon Potter are joined with Robin VanEerden for this podcast episode. Together we explore and talk about critical information that is important for people with disabilities to learn and understand as they prepare to wade through the waters of dating and intimacy.

Joined by special guest, Joanne Carroll. We talk openly and candidly about ways to support the LGBTQIA community. Support is not just about activism, but how each of us can make changes in the way we think and respond. The goal is to understand the miles another person walks in this life, and simply how to be an ally or friend to those who may need it the most.

In this episode we talk through aspects of masturbation. Topics include safety, hygiene, privacy, use of devices, physical harm, and privacy.

This episode we explore ways to talk about basic sex education for people with disabilities.

Disability consultants Shawn McGill & Sharon Potter have joined together to talk about sexuality and disabilities. While there are many wonderful professionals and clinicians doing this important work, our goal is to cast more opportunity and insight for others to join as well. There is so much work to be done! This episode explores why we have joined forces to create the podcast, and what listeners can expect along the way.