PODCAST · comedy
Unclassical
by Unclassical
The classic novel, the playground of literary greats such as Austen, Dickens, the Brontë sisters... but have you actually READ these books? Sisters Katy and Marsha take a closer look at classical texts, expect feminist rants, funny anecdotes, coarse language and general silliness! Needless to say, this isn’t a podcast you want to reference in your coursework!
Episodes
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The Haunting of Hill House 2 - Dream weekend
Is this a horror story or our idea of the best weekend ever!!?? All we're saying is that the Dr be laying down the vibes, spookies and cocktails?! We'd be buzzing for an invite! Aside of that, tune in to learn from our mistakes in the quest for the best Pumpkin spice latte, other spooky...
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The Haunting of Hill House 1 - Cup of Stars
Grrrrrr, we arrrreeee back!! And something is afoot in Shirley Jackson's Hill House! We are die hard fans of the show, so the book has a lot to live up to... even though the book was first... look we are spiritually bonded with the show!! So we have a lot of shared names from the show, but not a...
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Secret Garden Final - FULL AUDIO
FULL AUDIO! Skullduggery has been afoot at Unclassical headquarters, if the first upload is still cutting off, try this one!! The finale is here! But where’s Mary? Well, before we get to that, we meet the famous Mrs Sowerby, Dickon’s mum and you bet she’s a babe. Colin continues with his lectures...
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The Secret Garden Finale - Where is Mary?
The finale is here! But where’s Mary? Well, before we get to that, we meet the famous Mrs Sowerby, Dickon’s mum and you bet she’s a babe. Colin continues with his lectures much to everyone’s dismay, also goes through the “MINE!” phase. Meanwhile, Mr Craven goes to Lake Como and has a very…
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The Secret Garden pt 7 - That is magic
Bringing you stories from a cupboard- that is magic. This week we learn Dickon has a very normal last name as his mother takes a more active role in helping the children hide Colin's improving condition to the dismay of cook. Ben Weatherstaff takes teasing Colin a little too far and Colin and...
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The Secret Garden pt 5 - Dickon's Orphans
Hysterics, hysterics, hysterics!!! What is happening at Misselthwaite Manor this week?! Colin's in a huff, Mary's learnt a new word and where does Dickon keep procuring these orphaned baby animals from? It's all very suspicious and simultaneously enchanting. So get ready for some dodgy Yorkshire...
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The Secret Garden pt 5 - Give Chase!
This week at Misselthwaite Manor it is kicking off!! Colin and Mary may have been getting on like a house on fire, but now the house may as well be on fire! Jesus, don't piss off privileged 10 year olds! Katy tells us her most "embarrassing" memory, and it nearly sees Marsha off, there are some...
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The Secret Garden pt 4 - Are you a ghost?
Come join us on the moors for some cathartic wailing to your ex, no this isn't Wuthering Heights, but it does have the same amount of ghosts as Emerald Fennell's film. We'll also discuss boundary setting with Belle and the Beast. More "if The Secret Garden was a horror film" plot development. An...
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The Secret Garden part 3 - Sexual Awakening
We left last episode with a strange disembodied voice haunting the corridors of Misselthwaite Manor, but shh, no one cares about that - meet the OG Disney Prince - Dickon, every straight 10 year old girls' fantasy. Will Mary be able to keep her cool? Will she show him the garden? Will Ben ever…
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The Secret Garden part 2 - That Chicken Leg
By now you should have done your homework and watched the 90s film version of The Secret Garden, and you should know the uncredited role of Mrs Medlock's love interest, the chicken leg. We can all wish to have a such a satisfying encounter, but only a very select few shall actually experience it....
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The Secret Garden part 1 - Tyrannical, little pig.
We're back baby! And to help us transition from this horrible winter into the warmer months, we're bringing you The Secret Garden - like only Unclassical can tell it! If you grew up watching the 90s film - get ready to hear the darker themes the film missed out, and if you didn't grow up on 90s...
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Enid Blyton Christmas Special
Ho ho… huh?We are diving into the festive, idealist world of Christmas with Enid Blyton! But is it as perfect as you'd think? Recognise familiar themes of bubbling resentment, parental favouritism and a constant reminder that a woman's place is rearing children and in the kitchen! Good? Good....
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6. The Crucible - The End
This week, we return to The Crucible and somehow manage to hate John Proctor even more—which we didn’t think was humanly possible, but here we are. We also dive into the very important logistical question: if both parents are in prison for witchcraft, which parent should organise the childcare?...
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5. The Crucible - Abby's Playground
John’s dragging Mary Warren to court to expose Abby for the chaos gremlin she is — but Salem’s her playground, and tbh, John is too dumb to stand a chance. Cue courtroom meltdowns, mass hysteria, and John threatening to beat children every two minutes. Elizabeth deserved so much better...…
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4. The Crucible - Stark Poppet Crazy
Things are heating up in Salem faster than a witch at the stake. This week, we return to John and Elizabeth Proctor, as they try (and fail) to have a normal conversation without making us want to cause John much pain. Mary Warren returns from court with gossip hotter than Tituba’s cauldron, and...
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3. The Crucible - Frog in me soup
Join us for our next instalment where Hale Arrives & the Proctor Tea Spills. Reverend Hale finally struts into Salem ready to sniff out some witches, and things get messy. We learn more about what the girlies were actually up to in the woods (spoiler: it’s not just a cheeky little dance), and...
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2. The Crucible - The T be HOT!
Episode 2 of Unclassical’s The Crucible series is here! This week, the drama hits a new level. We learn why you do not mess with the girls (seriously, they run Salem), and finally get the real story behind Goody Proctor and Abby’s beef — and ohhh it is JUICY. 🍵👀 Also… how many people can you...
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1. The Crucible - Witch Bitch
New Series! It’s officially spooky season, and we are are diving broom-first into something a little... witchy🧹✨ Our brand new series is here, and we're kicking things off with The Crucible – drama, paranoia, betrayal, and just a touch of Puritanical panic. Standard October vibes, right? So grab...
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My Cousin Rachel pt 5 - Philick
It's here the final instalment and Marsha did not see that ending coming! Generally, we confirm that the bar for men, as ever, is on the floor. You can have a fun conversation starter for this week - would you still be alive if you were a Victorian? And have Rachel and Philick employed the WORST...
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My Cousin Rachel pt 4 - Perfectly fine sex
Guys, strap in, strap on - just strap something, because wow! Things have amped up with Philip and Rachel, crossed wires, mixed signals and so much ick and cringe! I don't even know what to say, just tune in, find a wooden spoon to bite down on and we'll see you at the end!
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My Cousin Rachel pt 3 – Hellen Kellen
Let's have a sneak peek at what you can expect this week: Victorian X-rated vibes? Absolutely, tongues away! Tongues between friends?? Rachel be playing games. Really bad eggs? Tick. Tarantulas! Would you pull a gun? Marsha's had coffee and it SHOWS. C.J. Walker - Marsha's educated and Katy gets...
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My Cousin Rachel pt 2 - Confessions of a Widowholic
We are back with part two of My Cousin Rachel, and our girl Rachel is at it again, is she a scheming money grabber? Or, just a girl staring at a gormless boy, wanting to teach Italian? Either way, full respect Rachel, you do you. It's going to take a lot for us to sympathise with Phillip! Also…
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My Cousin Rachel pt 1 - Bereavement Tours
We’re back, baby — and this time, we’re diving headfirst into the stormy tea-cup that is My Cousin Rachel by Daphne du Maurier! Get ready to be swept away to the upper echelons of British society — with a cheeky detour to sun-drenched Italy, as we unravel a tale of mystery, obsession, and…
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Of Mice and Men - Final Part
In this wild ride of an episode, we dive into the last episode of Of Mice and Men, and damn, bring the tissues and the rage. Expect a flurry of Friends references and even a surprise appearance from A Muppet Christmas Carol, because everything’s better with muppets. So grab your most confused…
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Of Mice and Men pt 2 - Kewpie doll lamp
Join us for part two of this disturbing tale, we're back in the bunk house, and in fact, we don't leave the bunk house, bad damn, everyone is stopping by! What will happen to Candy and his dog? Will Curley ever find his wife? Did you have a teacher at your school that played piano? Ever been…
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Of Mice and Men pt 1 - Put the mouse down!
We are back with our first episode taking a deep dive in Of Mice and Men, we take a quick look at John Steinbeck, see what his deal is, before we set off with George and Lennie on their journey to a new ranch looking for work. Do you think Lennie is sweet or just terrifying? Are George's small,...
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Grimm Christmas pt 5 - The Elves
Unclassical Podcast Christmas Special! Ho-ho-ho! Ready to wrap up your holiday season with a twisted Christmas tale? This Christmas Day, we’re dropping our epic final episode of the Grimm Christmas Advent series, and it’s a doozy. We’re diving into the Brothers Grimm’s Elves and the Shoemaker......
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A Grimm Christmas pt 4 - The Drummer
Gather round for Episode 4 of our Brothers Grimm Advent series, where we delve into the delightfully daft tale of "The Drummer." It's a story where absolutely everyone is rather silly—silly to the point of making one question their life choices. Expect a motley crew of characters who wouldn’t…
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A Grimm Christmas pt 3 - The Donkey
Alright, folks, buckle up! Episode 3 of our Brother's Grimm Advent Series just dropped, and it’s a wild ride. We’re diving into The Donkey—and let’s just say, this fairy tale isn’t your typical “Once upon a time” fluff. Ever wonder what happens when a donkey, a poor guy, and a whole lot of weird...
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A Grimm Christmas pt 2 - Prince Swan
Apologies this is late! Marsha contracted a bug and is still queasy, but here we are and the holiday fun continues with our second Advent special! This time, we’re tackling the Brothers Grimm’s Prince Swan — and yeah, it’s a wild one. Just whatever you think is going to happen, it's not, and this...
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A Grimm Christmas pt 1 - The Virgin Mary's Child
Happy Advent! We are kicking things off Nativity - The Sequel! Ever wondered what happened to Mary after all that Christ stuff? Well tune in and get ready to be chilled to your very core!
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Heidi pt 5 - Put in the effort
It’s finally here! The grand finale of Heidi! And holy smokes, so much goes down! We’re hit with the ultimate choice: sausage or a beating (tough call). The OG bestie duo is back — cottagecore meets goth in a mashup we never knew we needed. Plus, Katy takes us on an emotional rollercoaster by...
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Heidi pt 4 - They got Jesus
Sorry for the delay guys! Then hen party really wiped us out! But here it is! The penultimate episode! And we're finding our religion, TW, we are not Christian, don't take our views too seriously. But do take kidnapped children seriously! And while we're handing out advice, don't kidnap children!...
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Halloween Special!!!
The next episode of Heidi is on the way! But to keep you occupied, here's something horrible.
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Heidi pt 3 - Look at the little cuns!
Heidi is trying to navigate her new home in Frankfurt, but desperately wants to go back to the mountains; and she's doing a terrible job at being sent back there. Heidi is the best playmate ever! Whether she's filling the classroom with cuns or having a very small hat, she's bring wholesome…
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Heidi pt 2 - Everyone's got a story from Naples
We are back, with what appears to be a series of the worst dinner parties of all time. And, yes! Before you say it, we mean Denethor II when we say Theodan! But wow, a lot happens here, we meet Peter's mum and grandmother (and we're taking bets for who you'd think would win in a fight). Basic...
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Heidi part 1 - Return of the Pastor
We are back with a new story and we are off to the Swiss Alps with Heidi and Öhi! Get ready for wholesome vibes, but... maybe don't trust Peter with your goats...oh! And seriously don't piss Öhi off, he's a nice guy, but damn, just watch him ok?
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5. The Catcher in the Rye - Fire Guardians
It is here! The final instalment of The Catcher in the Rye, and, I think we're all owed an apology, oh and Marsha should apologise for attempting screamo, this episode is a bit fever dreamy tbh. Enjoy! We'll be back in a few weeks with a more wholesome read to see out the summer!
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4. The Catcher in the Rye - Holden Summer
You've heard of hot girl summer, well it's time for Holden Summer! (You're gonna hate it). But stay tuned for some truly iconic insults, and the most cringeworthy night you will ever bear witness too. Oh, and who thinks Katy's partner James is a sneaky snake?
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3. The Catcher in the Rye - Ear laps?
Part 3, Holden has arrived in NYC and he is ready to paaarrrtttaaayyyyy! Only, no one else wants to party with him on account if him being a child and a tosser, which is fair enough! Main takeaways: Make sure you're following @mistermainer1 on Instagram Learn there are certain things that should…
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2. Catcher in the Rye - See ya later Stradlater!
We reconnect with Hold a Cauliflower as he gets back to school and meet some of his friends. Of course, Holden doesn't think of them as being friends, on account of them being phonies!! (And having questionable hygiene). Get ready for the ickiest of boys and how not to deliver a witty comeback...
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1. The Catcher in the Rye - Madman
We are back!! Sorry it's been too long, apparently moving house and losing your job is quite time consuming! But out with the old and in with the new, and boy, do we have a book in store for you! We are taking a look at Catcher in the Rye, the book that has been linked with multiple violent...
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Pet Sematary pt 5 - He woke up and chose violence
Right, wow, I mean, I think we can all kind of predict what's going to happen, but wow, there are some real surprises in this final instalment. Jude goes weird, we discover some new napping positions, and can anyone tell me what an idiot shape is? Don't say us!
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Pet Sematary pt 4 - Disney Doctors
Gage is dead. Yep. Dead. Will Lewis be able to accept it? Will he ever get to Disneyland? Will Jude do anything remotely useful? It's all happening this week in part 4 of Stephen King's Pet Sematary.
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Pet Sematary pt 3 – Family trauma
Join us as we find out we have more similarities with the characters in Pet Sematary than we previously thought. We see Louis and his family for their last great day… discuss how we should all have more lassos to hand, and also unpack what the f3ck was going on with those horses running around...
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Pet Sematary pt 2 - Bear Hunt
Things are getting sinister, sinisterer than a student dying on the first day of term, and that... relaxing bath we bore witness to last time. Get you're hiking boots o, we're going for a climb!
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Pet Sematary pt 1 - Full of stroganoff and trauma
We're back guys! Sorry it's a bit late, lots of life changes at the moment! But we're stoked to be bringing you a new season looking at the the crazy world of Stephen King. Just, take a deep breath, and get ready to meet some very questionable protagonists...
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Around the World in 80 Days pt 5 - Final Part- Queen's Toe
Will Phileas win his bet? Will Aouda grow a personality? Will Passepartout punch Fix? Will they even make it out of America??!! Join us for the final part - it gets wild! Vote now, who would punch Fix? I know Katy would! We will be back after Easter with Pet Samatary, spooOOOooOoky! Have a great...
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Around the World in 80 Days pt 4 - Maths, dates and trauma
Full blown TW on this episode, we explain it in the episode before we get to the horrid bit and tell you what you need to know for the last episode if you'd rather skip it. But apart from that! Tune in to learn the power of 'no' from Passepartout, relive one of the best internet moments, and…
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Around the World in 80 Days pt 3 - Too Tory to be allowed
I mean, I know the characters are on a literal journey but damn! What a journey this episode is! Betrayal, confusion, twists, turns and tumbles! Takeaways:Can you pronounce orangery like a civilised human? How many more ways can Marsha get 'Passepartout' wrong? And, how the f0(k do you say...
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ABOUT THIS SHOW
The classic novel, the playground of literary greats such as Austen, Dickens, the Brontë sisters... but have you actually READ these books? Sisters Katy and Marsha take a closer look at classical texts, expect feminist rants, funny anecdotes, coarse language and general silliness! Needless to say, this isn’t a podcast you want to reference in your coursework!
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Unclassical
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Frequently Asked Questions
How many episodes does Unclassical have?
Unclassical currently has 183 episodes available on PodParley. New episodes are automatically indexed when they're published to the podcast feed.
What is Unclassical about?
The classic novel, the playground of literary greats such as Austen, Dickens, the Brontë sisters... but have you actually READ these books? Sisters Katy and Marsha take a closer look at classical texts, expect feminist rants, funny anecdotes, coarse language and general silliness! Needless to say,...
How often does Unclassical release new episodes?
Unclassical publishes regularly with 183 episodes available. Check the episode list for the typical release schedule.
Where can I listen to Unclassical?
You can listen to Unclassical on PodParley by clicking any episode. We provide an embedded audio player for direct listening, and you can also subscribe via your preferred podcast app using the RSS feed.
Who hosts Unclassical?
Unclassical is created and hosted by Unclassical.
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