Undercooked Analysis

Last performed live at Midsummer Scream 2019, the gang gets together to hear Allen and Matt reprise their roles as Ryan and the Animatronic Fox respectively in this wet carnival of torment from Clickhole, nearly 10 years previous.5 Times The Animatronic Fox On Splash Mountain Addressed Me By Name And Told Me He Was Going To Marry My Dad

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Abysmii, Allen and David drag out the Dregs and assess the condition of the Mojave Wasteland and New Vegas around 15 years after the Second Battle of Hoover Dam, weighing the TV show’s depiction of the world versus expectation for the future of Fallout and where it will go from here.

The swan song of UCA is a mashup of memes in more ways than one. As David, Allen and Abysmii bid their farewells and look ahead to future silliness in another podcast project, they give their last bit of love to the Creepypasta genre by reading two classic that have been run through 26 different languages to see the weird results.One behalf of the entire Creative Horror team, thank you for listening to this silly and stupid show for the last 12 years.“The Rake” is attributed to Bryan Somerville. Read the original here.”The Russian Sleep Experiment” can be found here.

David, Allen and Abysmii take one more trip to the SCP Foundation before the year is up, revealing two entries of interest as they see what’s popping out of SCP-294."SCP-2257 - House God" by InsipidParoxysm, from the SCP Wiki. Source: https://scpwiki.com/scp-2257. Licensed under CC BY-SA."SCP-2343 - How I Got To Memphis" by Doctor Cimmerian, from the SCP Wiki. Source: https://scpwiki.com/scp-2343. Licensed under CC BY-SA.

Undercooked Analysis is winding down as a regular podcast, but David springs a cruel trap on Allen and Abysmii with one more Julia Grane story that fails spectacularly to prove the argument posed by the title. Also, Future David comes out of retirement.Listen to the voice in the static with The Unlicensed Signal.

David and returning guest Ben Paddon have a Halloween tale to tell, as an old man recollects his dark experience one October 31st in the swamps of the Deep South. But first, they have to shamelessly plug the 2nd season of Ben’s Jump Leads audio drama.Story by Dartmouth and Friends.

It’s the final episode of Poe Standards! Allen and David return for one more go at the worst of Poe (according to some rando) with a story set in Venice. Is this a tragic romance, a case of obsession, or something more? And how does it compare to the other stories covered thus far?Story by Edgar Allen Poe, first published in 1834. Read along here.

All weird tales must come to an end, even the world’s weirdest criminal’s. We wrap up these serial adventures with the inexplicable return of Bostiff, the reveal of Doctor Satan’s peculiar plot, and a rare moment of humility from Ascott Keane. But we’re not quite done with Doctor Satan yet…Story by Paul Ernst, first published in Weird Tales, September 1936.

It’s the end of the road for Doctor Satan’s stint in Weird Tales, but was the best saved for last? Abysmii, Allen and David aim to find out as the villain’s plot manifests in a millionaire’s retreat, where Ascott Keane finally gets called out and a sinister new character enters the picture: Madame Sin.Story by Paul Ernst, first published in Weird Tales, September 1936.

A finale so weird, it had to be done twice! Well, sort of. Abysmii, Allen and David manage to patch together two different recording sessions to put a bow on this finale, where Doctor Satan gets egg on his face, Ascott realizes he doesn’t own a gun, and Bostiff gets an unceremonious sendoff.Story by Paul Ernst, first published in Weird Tales, May 1936.

Normally reserved for our Patreon audience, we’d like to offer a full-course of Choice Dregs for you to try. These rambling warmups are normally what get us into the show, and due to a technical snafu we’ve got this delicacy as a backup. Topics include Platonic body horror, allegedly-prudish generations, fictionalizing how work kills you, War Planets virus and Date Everything.

The penultimate Doctor Satan story dials things way back after the last entry, leaving David, Allen and Abysmii to wonder again about the logical continuity of the series. Ascott Keane is somehow wowed by Doctor Satan’s ability to hypnotize people, an ability he himself possesses and uses to track his foe; meanwhile, Frank Exposition goes to a kissing party with a 10-cent book.Story by Paul Ernst, first published in Weird Tales, May 1936.

Celebrating the 10th anniversary of the debut Five Nights at Freddy’s musical, David and Kaela reminisce with AJ and Gwen and discuss how the initial puppet-based collaboration with Markiplier turned into one of Random Encounters’ biggest undertakings, growing to become an entire series with its own myriad stories, challenges and lore.

Part 4 of Poe Standards takes people-watching to complicated and needless extremes as Allen and David witness a protagonist who has nothing better to do than spend an entire night pursuing an odd-looking stranger throughout London, legitimately for no real reason.Story by Edgar Allen Poe, first published in 1845. Read along here.

Part 3 of Poe Standards has an upset: some things in the tier list got moved around, and now there’s an additional story for Allen and David to read! Poe tries his hand at writing a more esoteric fable, and our hosts try to discern what in the world is going on in this narrative of demon headpats, a man on a rock and hippopotami.Story by Edgar Allen Poe, first published in 1838. Read along here.

Part 2 sees a strangely philosophical side of Paul’s storytelling as Ascott Keane pursues his nemesis into the land of the dead, meets his deceased father, and battles Doctor Satan in a sphere of damned souls. But has the continuity been restored? Does Girse show up? And who exactly is the “dictator of Texas?” David, Allen and Abysmii aim to find out!Story by Paul Ernst, first published in Weird Tales, March 1936.

David, Allen and Abysmii hesitantly return to the tales of Paul Ernst after being left chilled by the previous entry. Thankfully, it seems Doctor Satan is up to his old tricks of weird crime, with a plan involving speaking to the dead via a peculiar “antidote.” Will Ascott Keane have to follow suit? Why is he keeping a tiny corpse in his pocket? And is the new best character one that the hosts create almost by accident?Story by Paul Ernst, first published in Weird Tales, March 1936.

Part 2 of Poe Standards - the newest UCA segment that might only last 4 episodes - sees Allen and David reading what begins as an essay but continues into a cautionary tale about intrusive thoughts, self-destructive tendencies, and murdering people with candles.Story by Edgar Allen Poe, first published in 1845. Read along here.

Horror as a whole owes a lot to Poe, but as proven time and again, even masters of the craft have their apparent duds. Allen submits to David the first of four F-Tier Poe narratives (based on some rando’s opinion), which apparently contains an allegory as two drunken sailors have a completely bewildering encounter in a plague-quarantined part of London.Story by Edgar Allen Poe, first published in 1835. Read along here.

David, Allen and Abysmii invite special guest Brad to an initiation: a fresh pair of eyes on the some of shortstory1’s most recent work. Will a new perspective bring new insights into these unusual stories?Read along with us:1. “I clean up crime scenes while naked”2. “The special toilet paper”3. “My intelligence and emotional intelligence will now be off balanced”4. “All men must wear a burqa”5. “To move to the next day we must all do something disgusting”

Just when David, Allen and Abysmii were getting comfortable with this series, Paul throws a curve ball of seeming incompetence when the story forgets a certain character died in a prior chapter; meanwhile Ascott and Beatrice play dress-up to survive, and the main showdown turns into a anti-climactic Pokemon battle.Story by Paul Ernst, first published in Weird Tales, January 1936.

With a new year of mounting dread upon most everyone’s heads, David, Allen and Abysmii decide to ease into it with the ever-comforting Luciferian antics of Doctor Satan. This time, he’s getting into the insurance business is a fittingly weird way, and is once again using fire as the catalyst for his plot. How many fat businessmen will Ascott Keane sacrifice in the pursuit of his greatest foe? How many people will be added to the Faint Counter? And how in the world is Doctor Satan still unknown to the elite class that he’s targeting?Story by Paul Ernst, first published in Weird Tales, January 1936.

Content Warning: reference to suicideUCA is officially 10 years old, and to belatedly acknowledge this, Kaela has a special Christmas gift for David: Holiday-adjacent pulp from Weird Tales, written by the author of The Phantom of the Opera. The duo that started it will have contend with sailors, street fairs and the notion that Baby Jesus might actually be the one delivering gifts on Christmas Eve.Story by Gaston Leroux, first published in Weird Tales, December 1930.

That absolute madman Allen Chaney has David and Kaela with him to be witness to a daring stunt that is sure to freak minds. Will he survive?“this story could kill allen” (aka, “The leak from the upstairs flat”) was submitted by Julia Grane.

The line between Rorshack Rorsharn and Julia Grane blurs further as David lets Abysmii pick the two stories they will read, one from each pseudonym. And, like in the past, their horizons are broadened as they read way too much into the jank narratives, bringing the episode to a surprisingly poignant conclusion.“the skibidi man” was submitted by Rorshack Rorshan; “lift your problems” was submitted by Julia Grane.

After paying their respects to our runners-up with some brief thoughts and analysis, David, Allen and Abysmii reveal the campy, colorful and comical 1st-place winner of our New Pulp Writing Challenge. A sincere parody of the genre’s most over-the-top material, we (re)join Cannon Washington as he stoically challenges the Uber-Kremlin’s dastardly schemes in: Justice for All! Part 17: Man Waits for No Time.Story submitted by Daniel Scamell.

The 2nd-place winner of the New Pulp Writing Challenge is another cosmic nightmare, but this time witnessed through the disjointed epistolary of a mad(?) professor. David, Allen and Abysmii try to put the pieces together and revel in the elegent use of ambiguity in the unknown.Story submitted by ClericofMadness.Check out The Fog Report of Queen Mary’s Dark Harbor here.

After some careful consideration, David, Allen and Abysmii begin the process of revealing and discussing the winners of our New Pulp Writing Challenge. And this 3rd-place entry is an eldritch nightmare that evokes an alien city and an exacerbated game of cat-and-mouse with the story’s namesake fiendish entity. But what does this creature want with our protagonist? And why does this story bring up a tangent about Animorphs? (Spoilers: because the hosts are dumb)Story submitted by A. S. Evans.

Atomic scrambling has left Abysmii a living skeleton, so David, Kaela and Allen will have to finish their analysis of Doctor Satan’s current cruel scheme. With Ascott Keane closing in, will the diabolical villain be able to follow through with his plan? Or will the power of his mysterious ray see both of them cut down to size (pun intended)?Story by Paul Ernst, first published in Weird Tales, October 1935.

Have David and Allen been hoodwinked? Is this a sign of a narrative trend? A mysterious writer submits five very short stories that bear the uncanny hallmarks of shortstory1 and Rorshack Rorshan, and leaves them scratching their heads as they try to figure out what is going on.All stories submitted by Julia Grane.

Doctor Satan brings his weird crimes to Tinseltown, much to David, Allen and Abysmii's mirth. Can it be that, despite the horror it evokes, this latest scheme to pry cash from wealthy studio moguls doesn't involve direct murder? And how much good has the birdlike Ascott Keane actually done when he has consistently failed to stop his nemesis? No bones about it, this might be the goofiest entry in the series so far! Story by Paul Ernst, first published in Weird Tales, October 1935.

Phantom furniture poses a problem in this odd account from the 1920s. David, Kaela and Abysmii present another weird pulp tale of unintended comedy and unintended(?) sexual tension, all wrapped around one man’s attempt to get an anniversary gift for his wife and how it goes wrong (and on a rampage).Story by Elliot O’Donnell, published in Weird Tales, February 1928.Be sure to check out our New Pulp Revival Writing Challenge here!

David and Matt are in for a shock as they join Kaela, Allen and Abysmii for the explosive finale of the second Doctor Satan tale. As Ascott Keane learns the truth of his adversary’s latest scheme, prepare to be jolted by the reveal of Bostiff’s backstory, a staggering amount of innuendo, and the electric clock’s purpose becoming the dumbest plot point Paul Ernst has conceived so far.Story by Paul Ernst, first published in Weird Tales, September 1935.Be sure to check out our New Pulp Revival Writing Challenge here!

Attempting something new for this show, David, Kaela and special guest Nick Jewell gather in-person to play a storytelling game, powered by the English Eerie RPG system. Working in tandem, they craft the tale of Prof. Roderick Skeffington as he attempts to learn the haunting truth behind rumors of a beast on the moor.System by Scott Malthouse and Trollish Delver Games. Get the game here.Be sure to check out our New Pulp Revival Writing Challenge here!

The actual second story in the Doctor Satan series is unveiled as Kaela, Allen and Abysmii clue in to the newest scheme of the world’s weirdest criminal. Ascott Keane disguises himself as a tree to film people, a man’s last words have something to do with shaving, and an electric clock (or lack thereof) is somehow a giveaway for Doctor Satan’s dastardly plot. Will Keane ever get over himself enough to have another round with his equally-extra rival?Story by Paul Ernst, first published in Weird Tales, September 1935.

The Year of Pulp continues as David, Kaela and Abysmii take a crack at a story in the public domain from a young Ray Bradbury. We get a vision of a optimistic future that never happened, and discuss the sad lack of hopeful sci-fi these days and the fears of the time possibly channeled through the story’s lens.First published in Planet Stories, Fall 1947. Read it on Project Gutenberg here.Creative Horror asks our listeners to check out Operation Olive Branch to see how to aid in humanitarian efforts in Palestine.New Pulp Writing Challenge

David and Kaela touch base with Kylie Keen of Animal Fact Files and spring a Rorshack Rorshan trap on their unsuspecting guest! But surprises await, even for those well-versed in the unique and head-scratching style of these stories, and by reading this one the hosts might have just doomed the planet Earth!Be sure to check out our New Pulp Revival Writing Challenge here!

Doctor Satan presents the Creative Horror Network’s New Pulp Writing Contest! Indulge in the tales of yesteryear with our newest creative writing challenge and try your hand at the new pulp fiction renaissance.For official contest rules, click here.

We’re dragging out the Dregs 53 years before the Great War to discuss Fallout’s transition to television (though it seems radiation has caused some glitches near the end). David, Kaela, Allen and Abysmii have a lot on their minds as they delve deep into the lore and, as longtime series fans, talk about the show’s connections to it and debate where it might go in the 2nd season. Spoilers abound, so brace yourselves!

Bite-sized unease from a suburban setting. David, Kaela and Abysmii hop over the white picket fence and into ClericofMadness’ garage sale, managing to scrounge up the funds for a pair of stories. Also, Craig rebels.“Cherry Red: Liberation” and Suburban Terrors” were both written by ClericofMadness.

The rip-roaring conclusion to this recent adventure sees Doctor Satan delving into the art of necromancy on top of his static electricity research, Ascott Keane stoically neglect to name his scientist friend, and David, Allen and Abysmii keep at the nonsense jokes that basically write themselves.Story by Paul Ernst, first published in Weird Tales, November 1935.

Though we accidentally begin the fourth Doctor Satan story instead of the second, it does little to throw David, Allen and Abysmii off of the tropes that have already been established. The (good) doctor seems to be targeting fancy car manufacturers, but what does this next diabolical scheme entail? Is Doctor Satan actually the real inventor of the flux capacitor? And will Ascott Keane drag his long self out to confront his nemesis once again?Story by Paul Ernst, first published in Weird Tales, November 1935.

An interlude before we likely advance to more pulp wackiness, David, Kaela and Abysmii look at a sobering story inspired by a prompt - a story about loss, memory, and the dead rising from the sea.Story submitted by Unft4HumnConsumption.

The thrilling conclusion of the first Doctor Satan story finds our erstwhile hero, Ascott Keane, meeting his arch-nemesis face-to-mask. David, Kaela, Allen and Abysmii are joined by Mastt Holley this time as they explore such uncanny powers as magical trash cans, blind noclipping through the city, and T-posing to call on the power of God and anime.Story by Paul Ernst, first published in Weird Tales, August 1935.

A pulp-infused saga unfolds as Abysmii shares a public domain discovery with David, Kaela and Allen. Straight form the pages of Weird Tales, the gang are introduced to the baffling crimes of the eponymous Devil-themed ne’er-do-well, and meet his arch-nemesis, the logical longboy Ascott Keane. Who will win? Who will lose? How many women will faint over the course of these stories? UCA is on the case!Story by Paul Ernst, first published in Weird Tales, August 1935.

Nearly two weeks after Christmas and, timely as ever, David, Allen and Abysmii are opening their last gift from the Holiday season. If you’ve ever been unnerved by a certain plastic elf that is supposedly always watching for the big man up north, this one’s for you.Story submitted by Jay Connett.

David and Kaela finally bring things full-circle (if a bit late) to talk about the Five Nights at Freddy’s movie, while special guest Ash is there to enlighten them to the weird and extensive lore of the greater franchise. How does the film hold up for the layperson compared to the fans of the series? And how in the world has this dangerous pizza chain managed to persist so long?

Can we not go even three episodes before returning to the existential exercise that is reading a Rorshack Rorshan story? Apparently not, because David, Kaela, Abysmii and Papreeka are all together in person to read one featuring the dreaded Reality Man.Story submitted by Rorshack Rorshan.