Unfollowing Mum

On this episode host Harriet Shearsmith speaks with trauma expert Shelley Bradley-Scholey. Shelley is the founder of Fortitude Psychological Therapy an independent therapy practice, She is an accredited EMDR Consultant & Training Facilitator, Accredited CBT Therapist, Supervisor & Lecturer at the University of Oxford, Registered Mental Health Nurse.You can find her on Socials @fortitudepsychologicaltherapy or visit www.fortitudepsychologicaltherapy.co.ukFor free resources from The Trauma Toolbox visit www.fortitudepsychologicaltherapy.co.uk/freeresourcesHarriet’s books:Unfollowing Mum: Break unhealthy patterns and be the parent you wish you’d had is available here: https://amzn.to/3FKHqdeCycle Breakers: Free yourself from emotionally immature parents and be the parent you wish you’d had (US edition): https://www.amazon.com/Cycle-Breakers-Yourself-Emotionally-Immature/dp/B0F1ZY9G8K/Visit harrietshearsmith.com for resources on estrangement and navigating family dysfunction or to submit a letter to the podcast. You can also book a session with Harriet here: https://app.simplymeet.me/harrietshearsmith Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

On this episode host Harriet Shearsmith chats with Chantelle about her experiences of growing up with a teen mum, parentification and how she used her experiences to inspire her work as a child protection social worker.Harriet’s books:Unfollowing Mum: Break unhealthy patterns and be the parent you wish you’d had is available here: https://amzn.to/3FKHqdeCycle Breakers: Free yourself from emotionally immature parents and be the parent you wish you’d had (US edition): https://www.amazon.com/Cycle-Breakers-Yourself-Emotionally-Immature/dp/B0F1ZY9G8K/Visit harrietshearsmith.com for resources on estrangement and navigating family dysfunction or to submit a letter to the podcast. You can also book a session with Harriet here: https://app.simplymeet.me/harrietshearsmith Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

On this episode Harriet Shearsmith speaks with Hazel about her experiences of enmeshment with her father and subsequent estrangement, only for her to witness similar patterns of dysfunction with her husband and his mother, leaving her with the experience on both sides.Harriet’s books:Unfollowing Mum: Break unhealthy patterns and be the parent you wish you’d had is available here: https://amzn.to/3FKHqdeCycle Breakers: Free yourself from emotionally immature parents and be the parent you wish you’d had (US edition): https://www.amazon.com/Cycle-Breakers-Yourself-Emotionally-Immature/dp/B0F1ZY9G8K/Visit harrietshearsmith.com for resources on estrangement and navigating family dysfunction or to submit a letter to the podcast. You can also book a session with Harriet here: https://app.simplymeet.me/harrietshearsmith Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

On this episode host Harriet Shearsmith talks about Netflix documentary Unknown Number: The Catfish Highschool which follows the shocking case of Kendra Licari and her horrendous abuse of her daughter and friends. please note, this episode contains spoilers for the documentary and discusses Munchausen by Proxy (now known as Factitious Disorder Imposed on another (FDIA))Harriet’s books:Unfollowing Mum: Break unhealthy patterns and be the parent you wish you’d had is available here: https://amzn.to/3FKHqdeCycle Breakers: Free yourself from emotionally immature parents and be the parent you wish you’d had (US edition): https://www.amazon.com/Cycle-Breakers-Yourself-Emotionally-Immature/dp/B0F1ZY9G8K/Visit harrietshearsmith.com for resources on estrangement and navigating family dysfunction or to submit a letter to the podcast. You can also book a session with Harriet here: https://app.simplymeet.me/harrietshearsmith Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

On this episode host Harriet Shearsmith talks about her experience of summer holidays growing up and how it differs from her parenting experience, she shares powerful insights from her book Unfollowing mum on Interpersonal psychotherapy - adolescent skills training (IPT-AST) and how we can use the programme to improve our communication with our children (and how we can reflect on where these skills were absent in our relationships with our parents)Harriet’s books:Unfollowing Mum: Break unhealthy patterns and be the parent you wish you’d had is available here: https://amzn.to/3FKHqdeCycle Breakers: Free yourself from emotionally immature parents and be the parent you wish you’d had (US edition): https://www.amazon.com/Cycle-Breakers-Yourself-Emotionally-Immature/dp/B0F1ZY9G8K/Visit harrietshearsmith.com for resources on estrangement and navigating family dysfunction or to submit a letter to the podcast. You can also book a session with Harriet here: https://app.simplymeet.me/harrietshearsmith Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

On this episode, host Harriet Shearsmith shares a letter from 'Tanya' about parental suicide after estrangement, an enabling parent who haven't worked on their own trauma and continue to choose people who harm them and the impact affairs have on toxic family dynamics.Harriet’s books:Unfollowing Mum: Break unhealthy patterns and be the parent you wish you’d had is available here: https://amzn.to/3FKHqdeCycle Breakers: Free yourself from emotionally immature parents and be the parent you wish you’d had (US edition): https://www.amazon.com/Cycle-Breakers-Yourself-Emotionally-Immature/dp/B0F1ZY9G8K/Visit harrietshearsmith.com for resources on estrangement and navigating family dysfunction or to submit a letter to the podcast. You can also book a session with Harriet here: https://app.simplymeet.me/harrietshearsmith Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

On this episode of the show, host Harriet Shearsmith talks with author of Golden Child: My descent to scapegoat and rise to freedom and mind & body practitioner Lauren Smallcomb about her experiences as a former golden child and what it looks like to fall from the golden child perch.You can find Lauren at instagram.com/goldenchildbook or @flourish_therapy and find her book at flourishtherapy.kartra.com/page/goldenchildHarriet’s books:Unfollowing Mum: Break unhealthy patterns and be the parent you wish you’d had is available here: https://amzn.to/3FKHqdeCycle Breakers: Free yourself from emotionally immature parents and be the parent you wish you’d had (US edition): https://www.amazon.com/Cycle-Breakers-Yourself-Emotionally-Immature/dp/B0F1ZY9G8K/Visit harrietshearsmith.com for resources on estrangement and navigating family dysfunction or to submit a letter to the podcast. You can also book a session with Harriet here: https://app.simplymeet.me/harrietshearsmith Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

On this episode, host Harriet Shearsmith shares a recent experience where she had to break no contact with her mother due to harassment, how she handled the situation and what it looks like to stay in a place of 'self' during these experiences.Harriet’s books:Unfollowing Mum: Break unhealthy patterns and be the parent you wish you’d had is available here: https://amzn.to/3FKHqdeCycle Breakers: Free yourself from emotionally immature parents and be the parent you wish you’d had (US edition): https://www.amazon.com/Cycle-Breakers-Yourself-Emotionally-Immature/dp/B0F1ZY9G8K/Visit harrietshearsmith.com for resources on estrangement and navigating family dysfunction or to submit a letter to the podcast. You can also book a session with Harriet here: https://app.simplymeet.me/harrietshearsmith Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

On this episode, host Harriet Shearsmith reads out a letter from a listener, sharing their experience of growing up in a toxic family dynamic as the scapegoat and how that led to estrangement.Harriet’s books:Unfollowing Mum: Break unhealthy patterns and be the parent you wish you’d had is available here: https://amzn.to/3FKHqdeCycle Breakers: Free yourself from emotionally immature parents and be the parent you wish you’d had (US edition): https://www.amazon.com/Cycle-Breakers-Yourself-Emotionally-Immature/dp/B0F1ZY9G8K/Visit harrietshearsmith.com for resources on estrangement and navigating family dysfunction or to submit a letter to the podcast. You can also book a session with Harriet here: https://app.simplymeet.me/harrietshearsmith Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

On this episode, host Harriet Shearsmith chats about the difference between emotionally immature, narcissistic and toxic parents.You can find Harriet's book Unfollowing Mum: Break unhealthy patterns and be the parent you wish you'd had here: https://amzn.to/3Xdu12Y Or visit www.harrietshearsmith.com for helpful resources, tools and to book an appointment with Harriet. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

On this episode, host Harriet Shearsmith speaks with an anonymous guest regarding her experiences with parental alcoholism, a narcissistic and self centred father and toxic parent dynamics.You can find Harriet's book Unfollowing Mum: Break unhealthy patterns and be the parent you wish you'd had here: https://amzn.to/3Xdu12Y Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

On this episode, host Harriet Shearsmith talks about the experience of being triggered - both memories that conversations with people will bring up, and what it is like to recognise your abusive parent's behaviours in someone else.You can find Harriet's book Unfollowing Mum: Break unhealthy patterns and be the parent you wish you'd had here: https://amzn.to/3Xdu12Y Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

On this episode host Harriet Shearsmith chats with Diana, childhood sexual abuse and cancer survivor, about her experiences growing up in an abusive household and discovering the betrayal of her mum in adulthood. They discuss the physiological impact of trauma and Diana's views on her healing journey. For more from Diana, you can find her here:Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/diana__pearson__Tiktok: https://tiktok.com/diana__pearson Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

On this episode, host Harriet Shearsmith talks about her experience of growing up with a narcissistic parent who has been cheated on and how that unique dynamic can present in the parent/child relationship.You can get a copy of Harriet's book Unfollowing Mum: Break unhealthy patterns and be the parent you wanted here: https://amzn.to/42rOl3N Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

On this episode, host Harriet Shearsmith talks with 'Laura' about her lived experiences with a narcissistic mother who alienated her father and eroded her self worth and confidence. 'Laura' shares how she's found empowerment through therapy and cutting contact.If you find any of the topics on Unfollowing Mum useful, you can buy Harriet's book here: https://amzn.to/3DTQsn0 Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

On this episode, host Harriet Shearsmith shares the first written submission for the lived experience stories shared on the podcast. This listener has shared their lived experience of going to university and becoming estranged, as well as some resources for fellow estranged students.https://www.standalone.org.uk/guides/adultchildren/https://www.bethanywebster.com/blog/going-no-contact/https://www.ucas.com/applying/applying-university/individual-needs/estranged-studentsGrab a copy of Harriet's therapist recommended book Unfollowing Mum: Break Unhealthy patterns and be the parent you wish you'd had here: https://amzn.to/3E4hdVC Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

On this episode, host Harriet Shearsmith talks about the new year and what it means for cycle breakers, estrangements and toxic family dynamics.Order Harriet's new book here: https://amzn.to/3DW5ZCv Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

On this final episode of the year, host Harriet Shearsmith talks with therapist Natasha Nyeke about boundaries at Christmas.You can find Harriet's book Unfollowing Mum: Break Unhealthy Patterns and be the parent you wish you'd had here: https://amzn.to/41BCzn3 Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

On this episode, host Harriet Shearsmith has a bit of a rant about unethical care, a lack of trauma informed care and why finding the right therapist matters.You can find Harriet's book: Unfollowing Mum: Break unhealthy patterns and be the parent you wish you'd had here: https://amzn.to/3VxO1ME Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

On this episode, host Harriet Shearsmith chats with Holistic Sleep Coach Kelly about her experiences of growing up with a narcissistic parent and how that influences her work. They chat about attachment styles, the impact of toxic parents on our sleep patterns and more! You can find Kelly here: instagram.com/mychildsleepconsultant Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

On this episode, host and author Harriet Shearsmith talks with an anonymous guest about their experiences of antenatal and postpartum depression whilst navigating toxic family and what it means to finally choose yourself. You can buy Harriet's new book Unfollowing Mum: Break Unhealthy patterns and be the parent you wish you'd had here: https://amzn.to/3VoJso7 Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

On this episode, host Harriet Shearsmith talks about thanksgiving and how to navigate the holiday period as an estranged or low contact adult.You can grab a copy of Harriet's new book Unfollowing Mum: Break Unhealthy patterns and be the parent you wish you'd had here: https://amzn.to/3AQYKL6 Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

On this episode, host Harriet Shearsmith talks with guest Alyssa about her experience of cutting contact contact with her toxic mother.If you have found Unfollowing Mum pod useful, consider Harriet's new book Unfollowing Mum: Break Unhealthy patterns and be the parent you wish you'd had, available on 7th November 2024. You can order here: https://bio.to/UnfollowingMum Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

On this episode host Harriet Shearsmith talks with Sariah about her lived experience of growing up in a Mormon home as a member of the LGBTQIA community and what that meant for her relationship with her parents, sense of self and how she found empowerment.If you have found Unfollowing Mum pod useful, consider pre-ordering Harriet's new book Unfollowing Mum: Break Unhealthy habits and be the parent you wish you'd had, available on 7th November 2024. You can preorder here: https://bio.to/UnfollowingMum Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

On this episode, host Harriet Shearsmith talks with life coach Angèle Cristina about breaking the cycle for YOU without being a parent. You can find Angèle here: https://www.instagram.com/angelecristinaofficial/profilecard/?igsh=dG5rOHQ2OHhxdm9lIf you have found Unfollowing Mum pod useful, consider pre-ordering Harriet's new book Unfollowing Mum: Break Unhealthy habits and be the parent you wish you'd had, available on 7th November 2024. You can preorder here: https://bio.to/UnfollowingMum Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

On this episode, host Harriet Shearsmith talks with an anonymous guest about her lived experience of growing up in the 80s with a toxic mother and the shame surrounding sex, jealously of joy and how unhealed trauma impacts the parental role.If you have found Unfollowing Mum pod useful, consider pre-ordering Harriet's new book Unfollowing Mum: Break Unhealthy habits and be the parent you wish you'd had, available on 7th November 2024. You can preorder here: https://bio.to/UnfollowingMum Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

On this episode, host and empowerment coach Harriet Shearsmith chats with Emma about her experience of abandonment from her father.If you have found Unfollowing Mum pod useful, consider pre-ordering Harriet's new book Unfollowing Mum: Break Unhealthy habits and be the parent you wish you'd had, available on 7th November 2024. You can preorder here: https://bio.to/UnfollowingMum Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

On this episode, host and coach Harriet Shearsmith talks with integrative psychotherapist and PMDD advocate Josie about her experiences with PMDD and how easily mental health conditions can be weaponised in toxic family dynamics. If you have found Unfollowing Mum pod useful, consider pre-ordering Harriet's new book Unfollowing Mum: Break Unhealthy habits and be the parent you wish you'd had, available on 7th November 2024. You can preorder here: https://bio.to/UnfollowingMum Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

On this episode, host Harriet Shearsmith talks with Cristina about her lived experience growing up in a Hispanic family where it's commonplace to live in a multigenerational home and what that has meant for her difficult relationship with her mother.If you have found Unfollowing Mum pod useful, consider pre-ordering Harriet's new book Unfollowing Mum: Break Unhealthy habits and be the parent you wish you'd had, available on 7th November 2024. You can preorder here: https://bio.to/UnfollowingMum Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

On this episode, host Harriet Shearsmith talks with siblings Frankie & Louise about their lived experiences with a toxic father. They discuss how different their relationships with dad have looked through the years and share their views on their childhoods. You can listen to Louise's podcast Mums Work and Chaos episode featuring Harriet here: https://open.spotify.com/episode/6pyjVmIlBG7h1AmBhMDXHH?si=AtUtqk4KSF6uUZ0cryAY7AIf you have found Unfollowing Mum pod useful, consider pre-ordering Harriet's new book Unfollowing Mum: Break Unhealthy habits and be the parent you wish you'd had, available on 7th November 2024. You can preorder here: https://bio.to/UnfollowingMum Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

On this episode, host Harriet Shearsmith chats with therapist Lucy Hills-Gale about how therapy can help you to move through your lived experiences and heal. Lucy shares her exercises and advice during this episode, and you can also find her at Space to Talk Counselling, which you can find here: https://www.spacetotalk.co.uk/ and on her instagram here: https://www.instagram.com/spacetotalk_counselling and facebook here: https://www.facebook.com/Spacetotalkcounselling/If you have found Unfollowing Mum pod useful, consider pre-ordering Harriet's new book Unfollowing Mum: Break Unhealthy habits and be the parent you wish you'd had, available on 7th November 2024. You can preorder here: https://bio.to/UnfollowingMum Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

On this episode, host Harriet Shearsmith shares some exciting news and talks about why she feels 'lazy' taking the summer off podcasting to spend with her kids.If you have found Unfollowing Mum pod useful, consider pre-ordering Harriet's new book Unfollowing Mum: Break Unhealthy habits and be the parent you wish you'd had, available on 7th November 2024. You can preorder here: https://bio.to/UnfollowingMum Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

On this episode, host Harriet Shearsmith speaks with an anonymous guest about their experiences of covert sexual abuse at the hands of their mother and step father, what happens AFTER you confront the enabling parent and how you maintain a relationship IF you choose to. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

On this episode, host Harriet Shearsmith chats with therapist and coach Natasha Nyeke about breaking the cycle, repairing the relationship with your emotionally immature parent and feeling your feelings.You can find Natasha here:https://www.instagram.com/theimperfect.therapisthttps://www.natashanyeke.com/ Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

On this episode, host Harriet Shearsmith talks about Father's day and what that might have looked like for different people. Remember: you're not alone. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

On this episode, host Harriet Shearsmith talks to author Lyn Smith Gregory about religious trauma, abuse and the resulting estrangement from stepping out of the church. You can find more about Lyn here: https://lynsmithgregory.com/about/ Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

On this episode host Harriet Shearsmith speaks with Sahaj Kohli, therapist, author of But what will people say? and founder of @browngirltherapy. Sahaj shares her wisdom about setting boundaries and navigating dysfunctional family dynamics as a bi-cultural child of immigrants and breaking generational trauma cycles within collectivist, multicultural families. You can find Sahaj's book here:https://amzn.to/3Vawj0NAnd follow @browngirltherapy on instagram Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

On this episode, host and coach Harriet Shearsmith talks to psychotherapist Harriet Gleeson about her experiences of estrangement due to lies and scapegoating. You can find Harriet at https://www.harrietgleesontherapy.co.uk or follow her on instagram at @the.good.enough.therapist Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

On this episode, host and coach Harriet Shearsmith talks about fight response, anger and shame. You can find her here: https://www.instagram.com/unfollowing_mum Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

On this episode, host and coach Harriet Shearsmith chats with coach Emma Benyon about self care, guilt and setting boundaries as a cycle breaking parent. You can find Emma here: https://www.instagram.com/emmabenyon.coach and https://emmabenyoncoaching.co.uk/ Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

On this week's episode, host Harriet Shearsmith chats to Rachel Varkey, host of It's Fine! Pod, about her experiences of generational trauma and toxic family dynamics as a child of immigrants. They talk about the 'that's just white woman stuff' myth that surrounds cycle breaking and challenging our generational trauma.You can find Rachel here: https://www.instagram.com/itsfinethepod?igsh=N3Fjdmp5ZXRtNXE1 Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

On this episode, host and coach Harriet Shearsmith talks about setting boundaries with your partner's family and why it's so tough - from when they won't to navigating healthy reactions when you've never experienced them before, she breaks it down in this short episode.You can get in touch with Harriet at @tobyandroo or [email protected] Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

On this episode, host Harriet Shearsmith talks about her experience of late ASD/ADHD assessment and how that feels as someone who grew up with a toxic parent. You can find Harriet at @tobyandroo on instagram and tiktok or email her at [email protected] Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

On this episode, host and coach Harriet Shearsmith chats about FOG - Fear, obligation and guilt, and how this is an essential part of the narcissistic parent't toolkit. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

On this episode, host and coach Harriet Shearsmith shares insights into Mother's day from the perspective of an estranged or low contact adult children from her instagram community and her own experiences. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

On this episode, host Harriet Shearsmith talks about baiting - why narcissistic parents do it and how you can combat against it. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

On this week's episode host and coach Harriet Shearsmith talks about endings - her relationship with them, how that is impacted by attachment styles and why it relates of our toxic parents.As promised the recommended quiz for attachment styles is: https://www.attachmentproject.com/attachment-style-quiz/ Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

On this episode of the podcast, host Harriet Shearsmith is talking birthdays - her birthday, her children's birthdays and why birthdays are complicated when you have had a traumatic or difficult childhood. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

On this episode, host Harriet Shearsmith speaks to anonymous guest Victoria about her lived experience with emotionally immature parents, toxic, dismissive fathers and what relationships can look like with parents after accountability and when a repair has been made. You can find Harriet at @tobyandroo or @unfollowing_mum via tiktok or instagram. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

On this episode, host Harriet Shearsmith speaks to an anoymous guest about her experiences with sexual abuse growing up and how life looks after healing work. You can find Harriet at @tobyandroo or @unfollowing_mum on tiktok and instagram. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.